bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread

[bhtooefr]

"Miyagi, could you please come to my office? It's about Setou."

I walk into the director's office, and take a seat.

"Do you think that Yamaku is the right place for Setou, Miyagi?"

After last night, I know he's hinting towards expelling Setou for his actions. Normally, I'd argue against him, but in this case...

"No, I don't, to be honest."

He raises an eyebrow, surprised by my assent. "What makes you say that?"

"Setou's disability isn't his blindness. It's his mental condition."

I feel like I've failed Setou... but maybe he can get the help he needs, this way.

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[TheGoatman]

I feel like I may have failed KS with this question - but who is Miyagi?

[Oscar Wildecat]

I feel like I may have failed KS with this question - but who is Miyagi?

I believe that is the [hypothetical] homeroom teacher for the blind class.

The title and text of this one implies an Act 1 Bad End...

[bhtooefr]

Decided to do something different for that one.

I wanted to get a Kenji aftermath (that is, Act 1 bad end, yes) drabble out, and wasn't sure how to go about it.

That was the seventh total rewrite (and that's going from versions that had enough progress to save - probably twice that were scrapped before even saving the file).

Let's see, what all did I try...

• Both Hanako and Kenji POV of Hanako going to the roof to see the fireworks (although Lilly probably would've taken her to the Shanghai even if Hisao weren't there) and discovering Kenji, and then Hisao - needed too much plot to work
• Both Shizune and Kenji POV of Shizune and Misha going to the roof to see the fireworks and discovering Kenji, and then Hisao (more plausible, but I couldn't write it well enough)
• Kenji POV of the police finding him
• Several different approaches of Kenji committing suicide, couldn't justify them in the immediate case, but later cases could work well, but it'll be tricky to not get too close to Clairvoyance, and they'd need too much plot)
• Kenji POV many years later of him breaking down
• Emi POV many years later as his new physical therapist, after a failed suicide attempt (could be a very interesting angle, but needs a TON more plot than a drabble allows)
• Mutou POV of telling the class
• Hanako POV of Mutou telling the class
• A bunch of other ideas

Also, my headcanon route for most of what I wrote, when it mattered (it actually didn't matter for what I ended up posting), was following the Hanako/Lilly path, and failing at Mind Your Step. That's the one path that I could see a canon love interest be most affected by Hisao's death on. Lilly may have been soured to Hisao by how he clammed up, but if The Deep End's events didn't happen, a relationship with Hanako would likely still happen, just a bit slower paced.

I feel like I may have failed KS with this question - but who is Miyagi?

And you beat my author's notes.

Miyagi is class 3-2's (and therefore Lilly and Kenji's) homeroom teacher. She gets only a couple mentions in the VN, only one canon mention of her gender, and no sprite or lines. However, in 2010, Suriko wrote a short fic from Miyagi's POV for the KS Secret Santa, and I used that to try to guide her character's motivations.

[Sea]

Lilly didn't. *rimshot*

Might take a while before the next one's up, as I'm trying and failing to beat it into submission. Think I need to change what I'm doing with it, as I either have to go OOC or longer than 100 words to get it right.

Hanako POV, especially when trying to follow Hanako's Story's style to an extent for Hanako's thoughts, is a REAL word burner (Hanako seems to describe things in a very wordy way, which doesn't work in a drabble), but not using Hanako POV for this needs even more exposition, burning even MORE words, and not giving enough room for character development or anything resembling a plot.

You don't have to limit your self to 100 - 200 words. One-shots can be up to 10k, then they get extreme. Just try writing something and see where is goes.

[bhtooefr]

Oh, I know. But, I'm setting a challenge for myself of doing drabbles (and sticking to 100 words each, no double drabbles) right now, to develop skills with concise yet believable plot development.

I also want to complete the series (which spontaneously started as drabbles) for the sake of completing something, although I left myself with the hardest ones (well, a Lilly one would be fairly easy, but I don't want to step on dewelar's story) for last.

[dewelar]

a Lilly one would be fairly easy, but I don't want to step on dewelar's story

Dude, don't ever think you need to worry about that kind of thing. If you have an idea that you like, do it. As long as you're not straight-up copying my stuff, it's fine, although if it's based off my work I wouldn't mind a heads-up first .

Of course, I checked in with the author of Hyacinth before starting Developments, so I'm not one to talk .

[TheGoatman]

The better one shots I've read tend to be in the range of 1000-2000 words, usually if they get any longer they start coming in parts. These don't seem to be one shots to me, but quotes or extremely short summaries that would be used as the basis of a larger plot.

[bhtooefr]

To be fair, I did say one-shot and drabble.

I agree that these aren't exactly one-shots, but they are drabbles. I'll start trying longer, more independent stuff once I've got this project complete. And if I ever expand any of these into a full story, those stories will get their own thread, and links between everything made.

[bhtooefr]

“Lils? You OK in there?”

This is the third day she’s thrown up in the morning… Oh. Shit.

Lilly walks out of the bathroom, tears in her eyes.

“I… I think I’m pregnant.”

“I thought you two were using protection.”

“I… might have lied about that.”

“You weren’t… trying to, were you, Lils?”

Lilly sobs.

“Does Hisao know?”

Lilly glares at me. “No. And he never will. I can’t hurt Hanako with that.”

Wait, what does Hanako… never mind.

“You’re not going to keep it, are you?”

She visibly deflates. “I… no. Mother and father will want me to abort.”

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[AntonSlavik020]

Unfortunately I have a hard time liking something that involves someone getting an abortion. It's actually one of the things I'm most passionate about. I don't want to start a political debate on the KS forums though, so I'll leave it at that.

[Lianam]

“Lils? You OK in there?”

This is the third day she’s thrown up in the morning… Oh. Shit.

Lilly walks out of the bathroom, tears in her eyes.

“I… I think I’m pregnant.”

“I thought you two were using protection.”

“I… might have lied about that.”

“You weren’t… trying to, were you, Lils?”

Lilly sobs.

“Does Hisao know?”

Lilly glares at me. “No. And he never will. I can’t hurt Hanako with that.”

Wait, what does Hanako… never mind.

“You’re not going to keep it, are you?”

She visibly deflates. “I… no. Mother and father will want me to abort.”

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What the... I thought they were using protection. Doesn't Lilly say so?
And how does that hurt Hanako exactly? I mean, I think I know why you think so, but if I'm right in what I think you're thinking, then a think you're wrong. (If that makes any sence...)
So I take it that this takes place after Lilly's bad end, so which one will you do next?

[bhtooefr]

Gah, I keep getting beaten to the author's notes!

If it's not obvious, it's Akira POV. (I had trim some more obvious cues to make the story fit in 100 words.) Yes, Lilly bad end.

The title apparently translates to "seed of copulation". (I'm using Scottish Gaelic for Lilly-related story titles for whatever reason. The last one translates to "dividing".)

It's tricky as hell to write an aftermath fic, when someone else is writing a continuation fic that defines my headcanon. (Not as tricky as trying to write Shizune (because I'm honestly not sure what direction to take it yet) or Rin (because I don't understand her character enough, and I'm not sure which end is actually the worse one) bad end aftermath fic, though.)

Ended up setting my story within dewelar's timeline, but covering something that could've occurred off camera (I have no idea if it would occur or not, and this very much isn't official and isn't part of the canon of Developments). It occurs a few days after her phone call with Hisao, in Chapter 16 of Developments. But, it's not based on Developments per se (other than her having told Hanako to pursue Hisao, hence her being mentioned). Why it'd hurt Hanako is because the last thing she'd need when pursuing Hisao is for his ex to call him up and say, "hey, you're gonna be a baby daddy!" (OK, Lilly wouldn't say those words, but...) And, Hanako would actually probably be OK with it, I suspect, but Lilly doesn't know that.

Before someone says, "but Lilly's in a Catholic family", they certainly don't seem to follow many of the Catholic virtues. They'd want it to keep up appearances. And, Lilly doesn't necessarily want it, but feels she has to. I won't get into the political debate, but I will note for AntonSlavik020's sake, you might want to consider that we're talking about Catholic parents that would encourage their daughter to have an abortion for the sake of keeping up appearances, they're massive hypocrites at the very least.

BTW, I did explicitly give Lilly a line saying that she lied about her protection.

And, yes, I'm aware that this story makes Lilly look like a colossal bitch. I could see her doing that, though, so I wrote it.

I actually started kinda hating Emi after That Guy's Emilogue, where she did something similar to Hisao after Yamaku. (Let's just say that sabotaged contraception is a very deep-seated fear of mine.)

Now to try something different for now, because Shizune and Rin continuations aren't going anywhere for me. Won't be a drabble, and won't be off of any existing storyline (well, I guess it could be off of Shizune, Emi, or Rin's Hisao route, but Hisao isn't involved at all).

[Lianam]

Ok, thank for clearing that up. I didn't know that in this timeline Lilly told Hisao to go after Hanako, though I'm not sure she'd do that honestly...

[bhtooefr]

Other way around. She told Hanako to go after Hisao. You might want to read Developments, then more of what happens in Sìol-ghinidh will make sense. (Or at least that part, I didn't take anything else.)

Edit: Just realized that I really should've added some spoiler tags there. Done.