After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good route)

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Blackmambauk
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Blackmambauk » Tue Oct 06, 2015 5:03 pm

Or the part when a pair actually confessed to one another after around 100 chapters or 40 odd episodes? despite many opportunities to do so. While it keeps to how the Japanese are less direct about their feelings, you can only take it so far til it gets frustrating and annoying to read or watch.

Anyways, nice to see this fic updated. Being a while and I was wondering if it had silently been abandoned for maybe a variety of reasons.

Enjoyed the latest chapter, liked the tension between Hisao and his dad. the crineworthiness of the scene was very fitting and certainty one no one likes to go through.

Plus you have to wonder if Hisao is still a bit bitter at his parents for dumping him off Yamaku without so much as a adieu. Same with Hisao's parents for him not keeping in contact with them.

I have always wondered if Shizune can read lips, it was something that was originally in her route, but they cut it out the final version. But I sometimes got the feeling that she could read lips fro the way some scenes went and how she acted at times. But that's down to how I interpreted those scenes. Then again the scene at the roof does seem to show that Shizune doesn't read lips.

I also got the sense from the route that Shine was very aware of Hisao's condition form the start, with the way Shizune takes her role as class president so seriously and how she acts when emi ran into Hisao and Hanako's panic attack on her route.

I imagine that Shizune would want to be prepared for any possible event that could come up with any of her fellow students, plus some of the scenes seem to hint that she's kind of waiting for Hisao to drop the penny on the issue, but for whatever reason Hisao didn't.

As for whether Shizune is on the pill, the route never say's she is, but Shizune being Shizune I wouldn't rule it out. This can be easily explained with a line in the story.

Course these are all my observations and theories alone.

Looking forward to seeing more chapters.

Blackmambauk
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:29 pm

I have always wondered if Shizune can read lips, it was something that was originally in her route, but they cut it out the final version.
I'm not sure where you got this, but it probably depends a lot on how you define "originally".
I'm sure at some point a lot of different things were part of some route or other for some period of time, as most of the routes were heavily rewritten more than once.
It's probably not something that was cut only shortly before the final version, though.
If you want to know for certain, you'd probably have to ASK...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Blackmambauk
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Blackmambauk » Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:42 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I have always wondered if Shizune can read lips, it was something that was originally in her route, but they cut it out the final version.
I'm not sure where you got this, but it probably depends a lot on how you define "originally".
I'm sure at some point a lot of different things were part of some route or other for some period of time, as most of the routes were heavily rewritten more than once.
It's probably not something that was cut only shortly before the final version, though.
If you want to know for certain, you'd probably have to ASK...
I got the info from the KS trivia page on Tvtropes.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/T ... tawaShoujo

Under the what could have been tab, true there's no source for the Shizune bit to back up the information there about how things in her route were changed from what was originally planned since her original writer was fired I believed, but I do remember from reading some post's in other forums about Shizune that mentioned the information. Can't remember which forum topic it was.

Not that this really matters to me overall. I was as always just wondering about trivial stuff as I like to do and seeing what others think.
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:53 pm

That is probably referring to a very early draft that was leaked at one time.
I certainly would not call it "the original version" as they do on that TV tropes page. I think it's safe to say that almost nothing from that remains in the final version.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Blackmambauk
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Blackmambauk » Tue Oct 06, 2015 7:00 pm

That page has recently been updated with stuff that relates to Jigoro in the pre release. Thought some of the lines in the image links for the post were interesting.

Worth checking out for any fan of Shizune route and people who want to bash Jigoro with his own autobiography :D .

To each his own Mirage.
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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sg1cat
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by sg1cat » Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:56 pm

Thanks to everyone for their comments and praise for the latest chapter. It feels really good to be writing this story again.

I confess my well of inspiration ran dry for a while, partly because my life got way too busy. I'm back, however, and I plan to keep on writing. However, I'll probably be more sporadic than I was in the past.

I'm hopeful to get back to a good rhythm, but life is still busy for me, so we'll just have to see.

Thanks once more for the kind words. Getting positive feedback definitely helps inspire me to write more. :)

Stay tuned, more is on the way!


~sg1cat
After Graduation - a Shizune/Hisao story (post-good route)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Oct 09, 2015 3:40 am

Stay tuned, more is on the way!
Looking forward to you posting the next chapter - going to have a few comments on that one :-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Command13
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Command13 » Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:23 am

So awesome to come back to the forum after awhile and find a great story being updated again, especially one that gives me so many warm and fuzzies :D that was a really good chapter. I personally suspect that like with everything else, Shizune started out prepared.

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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good rout

Post by Super_Big_Mac » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:00 am

sg1cat wrote:I'm hopeful to get back to a good rhythm, but life is still busy for me, so we'll just have to see.

Stay tuned, more is on the way!


~sg1cat
Here's hoping your life slows down and gives you a moment every now and then. I just found and read your entire story here, and wanted to tell you it's been a heartwarming ride. Shizune's route, for me, has always had two (or three) different meanings for me. Actions speak louder than words, but you've got to communicate with those around you, and you've got to slow down and think about yourself and your surroundings.

I feel that you've captured all of that wonderfully in your story. The most powerful moments have been the intense, silent ones where all they did was look into each others' eyes and know they loved each other, and the way you describe how intimate having her snuggle close was for Hisao is another great achievement in action speaking louder than words.

Yet you also went to such great lengths to provide us with clear moments where they couldn't communicate, or expressed their hesitation in ways that, for someone who doesn't use sign language, would be practically beneath notice. Shizune wringing her hands when she's flabbergasted, and unable to think of a response. In any other context, that would just be a sign of hesitation. With her, she's thoroughly tongue-tied. And her reaction when Hisao crossed his arms to block his hands from view. That was just beautiful. Every moment of interaction between these characters you have lovingly transcribed is something amazing, and I don't know what other words I could possibly say.

And while those two paragraphs are all about how Shizune has rubbed off on Hisao, you've also had her show signs of slowing down and acting more like Hisao. Having two characters say "I love you" is all fine and dandy. But when you can show it through small mannerisms and minute details... It feels real. It feels like I was standing in the glass store, browsing the figures with Hisao when he found the cat one (which I am wondering about, for two reasons. Firstly, where's it gone/did you forget it? Secondly, how did Shizune not feel/notice it when they got to Hisao's room? IIRC it was in one of his pockets on his vest, and I'm fairly certain she helped him out of that), and I can picture him perfectly each time he drifted into a daydream, and the girls enjoying it at his expense. You've taken four characters (yes, I am including Misha and Lilly in this!) that were rather well fleshed out already, and somehow brought them from realistic to out and out real. And I love you for that.

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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good route)

Post by b12c2018 » Thu Apr 26, 2018 1:44 am

I am new to this forum, and I just started the game a few days ago. I just finished the Shizune line, and I absolutely loved it, regardless of what some other people say. It made a huge impact in my personal life, in a very positive way. Then I came across this story and I read it all. It was stunning. I know that this thread has not been updated for more than a year, but I really want to share a praise to the author.

I just list here in point form. I am not a native speaker so my words may not fully express my opinion.
- As others have said, you maintained Shizune's character very consistently while exploring her affectionate side, which I absolutely loved. Many people would think that Shizune was just a jerk, but there are actually many places in the game that subtly express her soft side, a first love that she has never experienced and is about to blossom like a flower. You expressed it beautifully. This also shows that you are extremely observant, just like me.
- You picked up many of the details in the story and elaborated them nicely. My favorite parts of your story are:
-- The scene on the rooftop where Shizune said her family not bothering to learn sign language but her amazing boyfriend did. I admit I cried at this.
-- Shizune confessed that only because of their illness were they able to meet and fall in love.
- Your story is surprisingly close to the original, including your choice of adjectives ("magnanimously", "stoic", etc.) and punctuation (using [...] for signs and ["..."] for speaking while signing). Even the erotic scenes are similar to the original (I actually turned on the game side-by-side for comparison).
- Your writing is excellent (although I admit I am not native so I am probably not a good judge).

I would really love it if you can try to finish up the story. Like the others said, it is amazing. It gave me positive impact in life (while learning a lot of English ^_^). Oh, don't forget to give the glass cat to Shizune!

(Well, if you happen to lack ideas, as an observant and analytic guy like Hisao and Shizune, I can provide some.)

Tkiss, new to this game and forum
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Scroff
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Re: Chapter 5

Post by Scroff » Fri Apr 27, 2018 11:48 am

sg1cat wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2013 7:09 am
["If you ask me, you could stand to show him some more affection..."] she adds, looking pointedly at Shizune, ["Remember what we talked about, okay?"]
Now I'm wondering what an Agony Aunt column authored by Misha would be like...

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b12c2018
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good route)

Post by b12c2018 » Fri Apr 27, 2018 10:12 pm

Continuing from my last post, I really hope that the story will continue. I actually went to great lengths by PMing the author (Shizune style, yeah, I am affected). I actually have an idea on how to continue the story, with a very surprising ending, a great idea -- Spoiler ahead: Ends with a choice, just like in the game. Unfortunately I am not a native speaker, so I cannot write as good as all the authors here do. Not sure if this is appropriate (new to this forum, btw), but if anyone wants to write, I can definitely help. PM me.

Yeah, how can such a great story be without a conclusion? How disappointing!

Tkiss, again a newbie here
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: After Graduation - A Shizune/Hisao story (post good route)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:01 am

So first of all welcome to the forums!
Second, requesting authors to continue their stories is a bit frowned upon here...
Finally, the author of this story has not been on this forum for a bit over two years, and they haven't been in contact with me for about as long. I do have an additional chapter that I finished proofreading, and that he never got to posting, but I won't post it without their permission.

There are a lot of unfinished stories around here, several of them so good that I wish they would be continued, but sometimes priorities in the lives of authors change, sometimes without any choice of the authors themselves.
If you want to read only completed stories, I recommend this thread. It hasn't been updated in a while, but you can still find plenty of stories there, and they are all tagged for completion status.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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