Like Fire and Powder: A Suzu epilogue (Complete)

[bhtooefr]

Before reading this, please read the pseudo-pseudo Suzu route by Scissorlips. (Better yet, this is pretty shitty fanfic. I'd really recommend not reading it. This story, that is, not Scissorlips's.)

So, after reading that, I felt there were some unresolved issues that Suzu had. As part of the resolution, a certain scene involving Hisao and Suzu popped into my head, and I was inspired to write a story around that scene, as well as some events that occurred in the VN.

Some notes... this is the first time I've really done any significant creative writing since high school. I'm sure I'll screw up somewhere, feedback is encouraged. (I can't fix it if I don't know I've screwed up, after all.)

My plan was to do this as a one-shot, then I realized I needed a chapter or two to set the stage for the conflict in the scene I imagined, then I realized I needed to actually resolve the conflict created by that scene. I'd like to get this in 4 chapters (read: it'll be no less than 4 chapters) - each from a different character's perspective, but the outline I have now is heading into chapter 6 for pacing reasons. That number may increase or decrease.

Also, there'll be no H-scenes in this one. Language might be a touch NSFW, because I'm a bit sweary myself and that'll probably come through even if it's OOC. (I suspect it'll be easier to write Miki.)

I'll come up with a title for this story eventually, but my knowledge of Shakespeare is weak (I plan on pulling a quote from Shakespeare to use as the title, given Hisao and Suzu's tendency to do quote Shakespeare to each other in the pseudo-route). I'd like to thank dewelar for finding the appropriate Shakespeare quote to title this with.

Perspective will shift from chapter to chapter. I want to get into every character's head. Crap, that means that either Chapter 2 or 3 will be hard, because one of those is Kenji's chapter.

Finally, Scissorlips asked me to make it clear that this is not official or canon.

Table of Contents

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6

[bhtooefr]

Chapter 1

I stand up, and look at the scene before me.

It's on the corner of a city street. In front of me, a boy with sea green hair has collapsed, blood everywhere.

"Seiji!"

No response. He's dead. I know he's dead. I've lived this scene before, countless times.

But then... he disappears.

Suddenly, a messy-haired, sweater-vested man appears in his place. Hand over his heart, collapsed on the street.

"Hisao, please don't be dead, please don't be dead," I say frantically.

I kneel down, I check his pulse. Nothing, and he's cold.

Fuck. No.

No. No. No. Not again. This can't be happening again. Oh god no.

I notice that the world is slowly disintegrating, and then rebuilding itself. I'm sitting on the roof of Yamaku Academy--more specifically, the edge of the roof. I look down, and both Seiji and Hisao are looking up at me, beckoning me to join them.

I jump.

...

Just before I hit the ground, I wake in a cold sweat, Hisao looking at me in terror.

Of course that was just a nightmare. But it's the first time I've seen Hisao dead in my nightmares. And he must have heard my mumbling. I hope he didn't, but he's never looked at me in terror after one of my nightmares before.

Almost every night for the past year and a half, Hisao has been by my side. When we graduated Yamaku, I followed him to university. He decided to study physics, and he suggested that I study literature. Not the worst of ideas, to be honest. Writing is one career that my narcolepsy wouldn't get in the way of. Thing is, it wasn't exactly my idea--I'm only going along with it because I had to do something.

We decided to get an apartment together; the dorm rooms weren't well suited for my condition. Besides, they weren't co-ed. We had had quite enough of having to sneak around to spend the night with one another, after our run-ins with Yamaku's student council.

Our living situation has actually been working really well. Having Hisao by my side has done wonders for my health--both mentally and physically--and I'm going to university, which is allegedly good for my future.

The problem is, every year, right around the anniversary of my brother's death, the nightmares come back. Sometimes it's reliving Seiji's death, sometimes it's imagining my own death. Occasionally, Death comes back... and even the games of battleship have come back. This time, I've imagined Hisao's death.

"Are you OK, Suzu?" Hisao's whispering breaks me out of my thoughts.

"N-n-yes," I whisper.

"Just looks like you've been crying," as I notice that my pillow is damp with tears, "and I heard what you were mumbling."

Shit, he did hear. I didn't want him to hear that. I trust him, but there's some parts of my mind that I don't want to worry him with.

"Fine, I'm not OK. But I don't want to talk about it right now."

Hisao sighs.

"Well, please tell me about it later. I want to help you through this."

I feel myself closing off for some reason. We've been together for long enough that he's got a good idea of what's going on, but I don't want to burden him with this. He already burdens himself with my narcolepsy, after all, and every year, the nightmares have been getting worse, not better.

"O-OK, some time later. Not today," I whisper.

"We should probably get ready for class, it's almost time for us to wake up anyway," Hisao says. I gladly take him up on this, it'll get my mind off of my nightmares.

We get ready to go, and I choke down a Tank Fuel. Can't risk having the nightmares in class, after all. Not that it's class I specifically want to go to, but I need to go somewhere anyway, and I should go to class anyway. At least Kenji will be there--we became unlikely friends when I helped patch up his friendship with Hisao, and he decided to study literature as well. Apparently, he wants to start a career in writing books about conspiracy theories. Yes, he's still crazy, but he's a good guy.

Speaking of which...

"Hey, Kenji wanted me to tell you about some picnic at 21:00 tonight. Said you would know what he was talking about, and that he'd have to kill me if he told me any more than that."

Hisao sighs. "Damnit, he always takes his picnics way too seriously."

"I don't think he actually meant that he'd kill me." I mean, he did once kidnap me, but he never actually harmed me. Hisao never quite forgave him for that, though.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Will you be fine tonight, alone? I might not make it home tonight."

"Yes." The real answer is no, but I don't want to seem too clingy to Hisao, and this 'picnic' is clearly important.

"Alright. I'll be sure to be home some time tomorrow morning, anyway. So, Suzu, how'd you do on your exam yesterday?"

Well, that one came out of left field.

"Eh, f-fine." That's a lie, we both know it, my stutter gave it away. I completely flunked it.

Hisao sighs, and says, "I can help you out with this stuff, you know? You don't have to go it alone."

I don't really want to do this stuff anyway, though - I'm only doing it because everyone tells me I should. However, if I don't let Hisao help him, he'll get frustrated with me. "Fine, I'll study with you. This evening, before you leave for your picnic?"

"Sure, that'll work. Alright, I'm running late for my first class, I'll see you later!"

Hisao gives me a quick kiss before rushing out the door. A few minutes later, I head to my own class.

Next Chapter

[TacticalBacon]

Don't you think you might need permission from scissorlips to do this?
Might be considered rude, Y'know.

Other than that stuff, looking forward for the next chapters.

~edit~
good to hear you got permission. Subscribed.

[bhtooefr]

Ah, crap, didn't think about that.

I'll redact for now, repost after permission has been granted.

[bhtooefr]

Reposted!

Today's project, get started on Chapter 2.

[bhtooefr]

Chapter 2

I lean back against the wall, taking in the night sky, or what I can see of it anyway. I relax a little, but not too much. There's too many people that might be after me.

Suddenly, a loud bang occurs to my left. I duck, yelling, "what the fuck?"

"Dude, Kenji, it's just me, Hisao."

"Oh, you scared me, man. Don't slam the door like that."

"Sorry about that. Just a little... pissed off right now."

I lean in to get a closer look at Hisao. Sure enough, he's not in his happiest state.

Well, no point wasting time. I reach for the unopened bottle of Jack, and hand it over to Hisao. "Drink up, man."

He doesn't hesitate in opening it and taking a swig, then handing the bottle back to me.

We spend a few hours passing the bottle back and forth, making small talk. Eventually, I bring up our classes, and his tone becomes more and more depressed.

"What's up, man? You don't sound too good."

"It's... Suzu."

OK, I didn't expect that. I mean, they have disagreements like any couple, but rarely does anything happen that would cause Hisao to be like that.

Hisao continues. "It's like... she hates everything I'm doing for her."

What.

That makes no sense whatsoever.

Maybe he's not drunk enough. Or something. I hand Hisao the bottle, and he takes a large gulp. I notice him grimacing from the burn, before he hands the bottle back to me.

"She tried to lie to me about an exam, and when we studied earlier, it was weird. It was like she... resented... my help."

Hmm. I did notice that she had been struggling in class lately. She's missed quite a lot, but she refused my help, too. I take a swig of whiskey, and lean back against the cool brick, leaving the bottle between us.

Hisao wastes no time in picking up the bottle. Damn, he's hitting it hard.

"I prob'ly shouldn't tell you this... but she had a nightmare last night."

She mentioned to me that she had nightmares, but nothing about them. It came up last year, around this time, when I noticed that she was drinking enough energy drinks to get a bear out of hibernation. All she said was, if she didn't fall asleep, she wouldn't have nightmares.

Hisao continues. "She usually gets them around the anniversary of... something bad happening." She told me that her brother died in an accident, I can only think that's what he's talking about. "She can usually talk to me about them, though, and somehow, I can help her through them. This time was different, though."

"How so?"

Hisao takes another swig, and says, "she was mumbling in her sleep. All I could make out was, 'Hisao, please don't be dead.' She woke up a couple minutes later, and 's like she shut down, wouldn't talk to me about any of it."

"I guess that means she's hopelessly in love with you, man, I mean, she's afraid of losing you."

"'s'not like that, though. She w's... a bit standoff'sh with me, I guess. Pushin' me away."

"C'mon, man. It's Suzu. I've seen how you two are with each other. She's stupid for you, and she's been that way since Yamaku."

Hisao's already gotten the bottle half drained, and I've not had that much. I grab the bottle from him and take a couple swigs for myself. Hisao might be cool and all, but damn, it's rude to hog the booze, man.

"Y'didn't see 'er t'night, though."

"She's probably just really stressed about this stuff, bro. Maybe you should give Suzu some space. I mean, yeah, she needs to worry about her future, and it's difficult for her... but be there when she wants you to be there, don't push her too much. You gotta treat this like the war against the secret societies."

Hisao's jaw drops.

"I mean, some guys would just go in like Rambo and start shooting up the societies. But you can't do that, they'd organize against you. So you've just gotta be on the sidelines, nudging them towards their own destruction."

"Th' fuck d'ya mean?"

"I mean, you've gotta nudge Suzu towards her own success."

"But... it's like she doesn't WANT 'er own success. So I've GOTTA go in like Rambo. Make 'er stop bein' stup'd 'bout this."

"Trust me on this one."

"Since when were YOU the mast'r of romance? Thought that was MY job."

"Fuck you, Hisao, just because I only slept with Yuuko once..."

"Wait, it was fuckin' YUUKO? As in Shirakawa? The librarian? No WONDER y're so fuckin' insane."

Ouch. That hurt more than I thought it would, on several levels. I realized that I screwed up big time by suddenly leaving Yuuko. I was frankly being a fucking idiot, with how I thought that what happened after our... experience... was a feminist conspiracy. I'm well past that now, but I still miss her, and I know I burned that bridge.

And, where does Hisao get off calling me insane? I mean, I've only saved his ass a dozen times because of my "insane" thoughts. He might say that they got his ass into trouble, though. Hmm. Maybe he has a bit of a point.

Besides, I've gotta keep my cool here. Hisao probably didn't mean that, he's smashed. So, I joke around a bit. "Man, just fuck you. Didn't I tell you that I'm the last sane man in an insane world?"

"Says the shut-in who thought that being tired after sex was a feminist conspiracy, and thinks he knows Suzu better than her own fuckin' boyfriend."

I'm blinded by rage. Well, legally blinded by rage. Well, I was already legally blind, but you get the picture. I swing my fist at Hisao's head, and miss.

"Oh, right, and is so blind that he can't fuckin' hit me, too."

I force myself to calm down a bit. I know he's drunk off his ass, he probably won't even remember this. "Fuck it, not worth it."

"Think I'm sick of this bullshit, gonna go talk to Suzu. Tell that feminist bitch to go to hell. You'd understand, right?"

I sigh. I've long since realized that the feminists aren't the true threat to us men. Hisao knows this, too, he's just trying to piss me off. Working rather well, actually.

"Fuck off, Hisao."

With that, Hisao turns and stumbles down the stairs. I have half a mind to stop him for Suzu's sake, but as I try to get up, I realize that I'm way too drunk for that. How he isn't falling over, I don't know.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[bhtooefr]

Decided to go for a bit of a time jump with this one.

Hope the argument came out well, showing Hisao's increasing drunkenness. Kenji can hold his speech together while drunk better, but it still hits him, and Hisao's only walking on pure adrenaline.

Also, a few things probably don't make sense in there. Some of that is definitely intentional. We're talking about Kenji. And, Hisao is frustrated and drunk - we've got an unreliable narrator, and then he's hearing things from an equally unreliable source.

Now to write the next chapter. I don't want to release it until I've got a draft of Chapter 4 that I'm happy with, though, to get the pacing right, and make sure that what everyone says and does to one another makes sense.

[Mirage_GSM]

Well, I have only secon-hand experience with alcohol, but I'v enever seen anyone get drunk that fast...
Maybe add a short time-skip after Hisao arrives and before they start talking about Suzu?

[bhtooefr]

Yeah, I might need to re-pace that, come to think of it.

That said, the alcohol doesn't take thaaaaat long to hit. But the rate that Hisao's drinking, he'd be flat on his ass in reality if the conversation were going that fast, based on my experience with drinking nowhere near as much alcohol much slower. However, the VN seemed to pace the manly picnic pretty quickly. I should probably replay that, to get an idea of Hisao's alcohol tolerance.

[Mirage_GSM]

The manly picnic has at least one point where a lot of time is passing:

"Four or five hours, or possibly several days later: (I lost track)"

[bhtooefr]

Good point, I forgot about the time skip.

My own time skip added, slowing Hisao's drinking to a pace that won't cause him to die of alcohol poisoning.

He's still REALLY DRUNK. If it weren't for the adrenaline from being angry, he wouldn't be walking. And, in reality, he'd probably be puking his guts out, but if that were going to happen, it'll happen later most likely. And, I don't think it'll fit into chapter 3 that well, the one place where it would fit.

[TheGoatman]

Hmm, you seem to be intending to limit this to 4 chapters, but from the current pacing and chapter length I'm curious as to how you will fit the rest of the epilogue into 2 chapters without rushing things, you may want to consider more than 4 to wrap things up nicely. I'm a poor writer by anyones standards so no need to take my advice on anything, but it's there.

[bhtooefr]

Yeah, I figured out that the pacing won't allow 4 chapters. 5 minimum, might go to 6. Editing the TOC to reflect that.

[Helbereth]

Yeah, I figured out that the pacing won't allow 4 chapters. 5 minimum, might go to 6. Editing the TOC to reflect that.

A bit of advice; don't tell people the limits you have planned. Keep an idea of them in your notes, but in a format like this, where the story is released in serial chunks, unless you have it written already, don't presume to know how long your story will run. It will only generate false expectations.

[bhtooefr]

Thanks for the tip, and I'll keep that in mind for any future stories. Think I'm out of the woods on this one, though. Still, at this point, won't promise anything until the final chapter is released.

Plan is to release chapter 3 tomorrow, after proofreading it and making sure I didn't set up any continuity errors (either with the VN, with Scissorlips's original route, or with the (already written) chapter 4 and 5).

I'm going to stagger the release of the remaining chapters.