Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Development Halted]

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monkeywitha6pack
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:35 am

Don't worry about it, just take your time, it's better to take a long time for a product to be good then rush something and have it be no good, and don't let the curse bother you just let it flow onto the paper and it will come naturally
Wahahaha~.
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Snicket
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 06/10/2013]

Post by Snicket » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:48 am

OK, could someone tell me what this 'curse' is. I think I've got a vague idea, but i'd rather just have the answer from you guys.
Sea wrote: Did someone ever write this out? It sounds like a great prompt
Yeah I did, but as I stated in my prior post. It was lost when I sold my old computer.

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dewelar
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 06/10/2013]

Post by dewelar » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:33 am

Snicket wrote:OK, could someone tell me what this 'curse' is.
I believe it's simply that nobody who's ever started a full (pseudo-)route for Miki has ever finished it. Really not all that surprising, considering how few such fics get finished to begin with, but presumably Miki stands out due to the sheer number of attempts that have been made.
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Req
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by Req » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:15 pm

well... finished it yet

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by Numb » Sun Oct 20, 2013 5:52 pm

Req wrote:well... finished it yet
Not quite. One particularly dull chapter (in note form) has been giving me some trouble. I need to find a way to jazz it up a bit, otherwise I will bore you guys to tears with it :lol:
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by Sea » Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:21 pm

Req wrote:well... finished it yet
The key word here is yet. Get off your iPad on on the notepad (Or whatever you use)
(Art's great but it's been proven you get more feels per pixels in writing)
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by Recidivism » Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:46 pm

Hey, Just want to wish you luck on the newest chapter. When I'm stuck writing something, I usually go with a more lighthearted chapter with some more humorous moments, but that's just me.

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update: 10/10/2013]

Post by Numb » Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:16 pm

Yet another update on goings on in the development of the next act. Recently I haven't been able to get any work done on the notes for the act, due to the recent death of my grandmother. Now please, don't send your condolences, I personally am not affected much, though I have been supporting those in my family who are grieving, which is the halting factor in my note writing process. If you absolutely must, you can say something uplifting, it's natural human instinct to comfort somebody in these times after all, however please understand that I won't be updating this thread for a while now. I'll be sure to let you all know when things return to normal again, so until then, don't wait for the next act. I know some of you have been eagerly awaiting it, and believe me, so am I :lol:
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [On hold until further not

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:07 pm

I feel confident enough that I could help you with anything you need, ever need help just msg me
:D
Wahahaha~.
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Re: Blossom - Chapter One: Space-time Out [Part One]

Post by Numb » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:46 pm

I have returned! Though I won't be posting with my previous frequency. I'm recovering from a small writers block currently, and I also have school to deal with. However, I have decided to reformat my methods of posting these chapters, meaning that each one will be exactly three parts in length with a word total average of around 2,000. Of course, the more dramatic chapters may have four parts depending on how long they get, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Until then, enjoy the very first installment of Act Two! :D
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Mutou enters to a collective sigh, one in which he shares. The entire class, and likely the entire school, is exhausted. Even Mutou looks like he had too much fun last night, sitting down behind his desk and rubbing the bridge of his nose, exhaling deeply. He stays this way for quite some time before standing up and slamming his hands on the desk.

“Alright, I hope you all had fun last night, I know I did. However, school is still active, and as such we should be working.” Another harmonised sigh spreads through the room, though everyone seems to be more alert after the sudden noise. “Please open your textbooks to page fifty-four and read the passage while I prepare further work.”

I finish reading the passage earlier than everyone else, one of the happy side effects of my hospital visit, and use the time to look around. Misha looks like she’s about to follow Suzu into dreamland, a place which the sleeper herself is currently inhabiting. Shizune keeps glancing over at me analytically, smirking at me when I look back. It’s a little unnerving.

My wandering gaze grinds to a halt on Miki’s desk, which is currently unoccupied. I can almost feel my heart plummet as my mind starts racing, jumping between hundreds of different conclusions. Is she embarrassed about last night? Is she hurt? Is she ill? Whatever the reason, I can’t help but worry about her, given the circumstances.

“Nakai? Are you alright?” Damn. Looks like my concern was showing, Mutou is walking towards me slowly.

“Uh, yes. Sorry, I was just thinking. It’s nothing, sir.” He stops his approach, though his odd expression doesn’t leave.

“Ah, alright then. You wouldn’t mind if I had a word outside, seeing as you’re finished with the task already, would you?” It isn’t exaclty a question, though he waits, expecting an answer. I nod as I stand and we leave the room, closing the door behind us. “So, how’re you finding things?”

“Things?” His face contorts as he tries to settle on a casual expression, though he gives up and returns to his usual look.

“You know. Things. Socialising, making friends, clubs and other such activities. Are you settled in?” He asks this as he experiments with different casual poses, leaning against a wall while he waits for my response. He looks incredibly uncomfortable right now.

“Ah, yeah, things are good. I managed to make a few friends, we spent most of yesterday at the festival.” I make sure not to elaborate on ‘most of yesterday’, he doesn’t need to know about the yakisoba incident or any of the following events.

“Ah, that’s good news. What had you so distracted in class, if I may ask? It is my duty to make sure my students are all… No, healthy isn’t the word. Granted that is one of my other duties. You understand my meaning, don’t you?”

“I do,” I don’t, but I don’t want to get too far into it. “but I’m fine. I was just thinking about what to do for lunch. I usually go with Mik- uh, Miura, but she’s absent.”

“Ah, I see. Now, there was something else I wanted to ask… Oh right, clubs! Did you find one yet?” Mutou snaps his fingers as he remembers, his face lighting up. He can be happy about the most minor things sometimes.

“Kind of… I’ve been attending the track team’s practice on nurses orders, but I’m not exactly a member. I’ve done a little bit to help the Student Council too, I guess, but I’m not part of any clubs.”

“Hmm… Well, it’s better than nothing I suppose. Alright, let’s head back inside, there’s still work to do after all.” He opens the door and invites me to go in first, raising heads as I make the short trip back to my desk. Shizune’s gaze follows me, her piercing blue eyes only leaving when Mutou starts talking, instead she now stares at Misha’s hands as she signs.

As Mutou drones on about the space-time continuum, my gaze again falls on Miki’s empty chair. Maybe Suzu knows something, though asking right now is an impossibility for two reasons, she is asleep during a lesson. Not only would it be rude to wake her, but it would show clear disrespect to Mutou by ignoring his lesson for blatantly social reasons. I’ll have to wait until lunch to ask her, provided she’s awake by then. For now though, I should pay attention to the lesson.

“…And so the theory states that time is a fourth dimension in space that we can’t alter, as it exists in only one plane, however, we can…”

---

The bell signalling the start of lunch break interrupts Mutou as he is explaining the mechanics of time according to some revered scientist; I wasn’t really paying too much attention. Shizune and Misha give me a short wave as they leave, apparently to go do more Student Council work, leaving Suzu as the only lunch option for today. I collect my things and approach her desk, kneeling down and shaking her awake.

“Urgh… But I don’t wanna go to the zoo…” She must be dreaming, or she wants to mess with me. “But Seiji, I wanna stay here…”

Seiji? I give her another shake, this time harder than before, to pull her from this dream. She stirrs, her eyelids twitching as she slowly comes back to reality. About thirty seconds later her eyes open, and she winces as they are assaulted by the harsh sunlight coming in from the window. She covers her face to shield herself from the light. I move in front of the window, casting some shade over her, and she turns to see me, eyelids half open.

“Mornin’ Hisao… It is still morning, right?” Standing up, she looks down at her wrist, only to realise she doesn’t have a watch, then turns back to me with as helpless an expression as she can muster at this point.

“Yeah, barely. It’s lunch time, you hungry?”

“No.” She says as her stomach betrays her, and I struggle to stifle my laughter as her face contorts into some strange mix of frustration, embarrassment and amusement. “Fine, maybe I am, I didn’t have time for breakfast, fell asleep again. Was I talking in class? I feel like I might have been talking.”

“Well, not during class, but you were mumbling something about a zoo when I came to wake you up. Don’t worry, nobody else heard it, you still have sanity in the public eye.” I deliver the last line with a grin and a wink, imitating Miki as best I can, but she just stares at me.

“A zoo, huh? Weird… Stop grinning like that, that’s Miki’s grin. Your one is supposed to be like this,” she says as she twists her facial expression into an exaggerated goofy grin. “See?”

“Yeah, yeah, I see. So, you wanna get lunch or do you wanna go back to sleep?” I ask, trying to divert the course of conversation away from my weird facial expressions. Suzu pouts, disappointed at the sudden change of topic, before answering.

“Fine, where are we going, the cafeteria?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest while maintaining the pout. It makes taking her seriously difficult when she’s acting like this.

“Uh, yeah, unless you want to walk all the way to the Shanghai. We can eat outside if you want though, it gets a little bit loud in the cafeteria sometimes. We should hurry though, if we want to get the good stuff.”

Suzu nods, reaching down to pick up her things. Heaving her bag up onto the desk, a small grunt escapes her. “Need some help with that?”

“No, it’s fine, this is lighter than usual. Had to leave a few books in my room today so Miki’s notes would fit.” Something dawns on her as she speaks, her voice trailing off. “Oh crap, I was supposed to give them to you…”

“Me? Oh, right, so she would get all of the notes, right?” As soon as the words leave my mouth I feel like slapping myself. “Oh, uhh, sorry. That’s the reason though, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. Lighten up a little Hisao, we’re friends, you can say that kind of stuff. No point dancing around the subject, right?” She chuckles, swinging her back over her shoulder and punching me lightly on the arm. “Now come on, let’s go spend your money.”

“Wait, my money? Can’t you pay for your own lunch?”

“Nope. Miki usually gets my lunch, I help pay for her groceries. I don’t have any money with me anyway, so you have to treat me~.” She teases me, spinning on her heel and walking away in an overly cocky manner, swaying her hips left and right with every step.

“Fine, I’ll pay, but you owe me.” I catch up to her, sidestepping the mountainous growth on her back and coming to place on her right, leaving her with the railing on her left.

“Hey, think of it as payment for the poetry lessons. This should cover at least a month.” She jests, tilting her head and doing some false calculations on her fingers. “Maybe not. I might need to raise my prices, there’s so much business coming in.”

“So Miki told you, huh?”

“Told me what?” She asks, wearing a look of genuine confusion, with her head tilted slightly to the left.

“Uhh… That we decided to do the poetry lessons together? I thought that was why you brought it up.” I keep my gaze forward, the feeling that I just did something stupid washing over me.

“Wait, Miki? She wants to… And you… What happened at the festival Hisao? Why hasn’t Miki told me this yet?” Uh oh. I keep my mouth shut, lest I let any more information loose, though this only serves to raise Suzu’s curiosity. “Hisao. What did you do?”

“Nothing. I took her to the nurse and nothing happened.” I lie, knowing full well that she won’t buy it. She heaves a sigh, stopping at the top of the stairwell.

“Hisao, you can tell me. What happened? Don’t worry, I’ll only hurt you if you hurt her.”

“That doesn’t exactly-“

“Hisao.” Her voice is low, quiet and chilling. I can almost feel the room darkening.

“Fine. I’ll tell you. She told you about that place before, right? Her secret spot.” Suzu’s jaw drops as I say this, her eyes shooting open in shock.

“She told you about that?! Hisao, that’s-“

“She didn’t just tell me. She showed me, we went there to watch the fireworks. I’m guessing you have enough to be happy now, I kind of want her to tell you, I’m still a little confused about it.”

“I… Fine. Just tell me, it’s good news, right? You know she’s like a sister to me.” She hesitates, though she seems to understand why I’m not giving her any further details.

“Yeah, I promise you, I didn’t mess up. Unless that’s why she isn’t here today… I didn’t mess up, did I?”

Suzu smiles and we start moving again, finally breaking the tension, “No, she’s still sick. That yakisoba doesn’t agree with her stomach, puts her out for about two days. She should be back tomorrow though, don’t worry too much. Anyway, the poetry lessons, you guys got any idea when you wanna do ‘em?”

“Uhh, not really. We just agreed to do them together. I don’t really want to set a day without Miki, she handles this stuff better than I do anyway.”

“Understandable. I’m guessing she told you she tried this before, you want a quick session over lunch so you can catch up?” She asks, reluctant at first, keeping her voice low when she mentions Miki.

“Yeah, she told me. I don’t see why not, I might need the boost. If she tried before then she must be capable, and I don’t want to drag you guys down.” I hold the door to the stairwell open, “Ladies first.”

“You’re such a gentleman Hisao,” Suzu giggles, passing through the door with an over exaggerated curtsy before she continues talking. “I’m guessing you had to write haiku at school when you were little, so we’ll start with something a little more complex.”

“Uhh, maybe not…” I mutter, hoping she won’t catch it. She does, and I immediately regret saying anything once I hear her teasing tone.

“Wow Hisao, you seriously want to cover haiku in the first lesson? Such an amateur, looks like I might need to bump up the cost of tuition~. There’s a vending machine, go buy me some coffee.” She giggles, pointing me over to the cold metal box.

“Fine. I’ll get you for this you know.” I laugh as I jog over to the machine and punch in the code for a can of coffee. It plops out of the machine with a satisfying ‘clunk’. Taking it from the machine and pocketing my change, I twist around to see Suzu with her back turned, apparently talking to somebody. Curious as to who it is, I rush back over, the loose coins jingling as I jog. Finally popping into view, the one Suzu is talking to is… Shizune?
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Next
As always, feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated. I've been trying to improve the general quality of my writing, so any critiques will be taken into deep consideration :lol:
EDIT [27/11/13]: I wrote myself into a corner with the old ending to this scene, so I've rewritten the last paragraph to make things easier :)
Last edited by Numb on Sat Nov 30, 2013 3:28 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by dewelar » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:01 pm

Good to see you back and writing, Numb!

I liked the character interaction in this chapter. It felt a bit...placeholder-y, but since it's the beginning of an act, starting off slow is a given, so that's not so much a complaint as an observation :) . Also, the exchange about the notes was a bit confusing :? .

Otherwise, nice job.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:05 pm

Hey, it's alive!
Just my usual nitpicks:
Mutou enters to a collective sigh, one in which he shares.
This is correct, but I had to read it three times to understand what you meant.^^°
I’ll have to wait until lunch to ask her, granted she’s awake by then.
Wrong word. You probably wanted to use "provided."

Great to see you back!
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Numb » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:17 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Mutou enters to a collective sigh, one in which he shares.
Yeah, sometimes I write something weird like this, but I think it reads fine for now. I can't really come up with a better alternative right now :lol:
Mirage_GSM wrote:I’ll have to wait until lunch to ask her, provided she’s awake by then.
Fixed
dewelar wrote:I liked the character interaction in this chapter. It felt a bit...placeholder-y, but since it's the beginning of an act, starting off slow is a given, so that's not so much a complaint as an observation :) . Also, the exchange about the notes was a bit confusing :? .
I'll admit, I got rid of Miki for a day because I wanted to write more solo Suzu :lol:
The notes exchange scene is basically Hisao agreeing to copy his notes into Miki's book so he can give them to her at some point.


Anyway, thank you both for the feedback, it feels good to be back in action :D
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Fc360 » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:33 pm

That cliff hanger :(

Yay for you being back to writing again :D

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Silentcook » Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:37 pm

Numb wrote:Mutou enters to a collective sigh, one in which he shares.
"Mutou's entrance is met with a collective sigh, which he joins."

Whether this is more understandable is open to debate. :p
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