Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Development Halted]

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Feurox
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Feurox » Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:54 pm

Silentcook wrote:
Numb wrote:Mutou enters to a collective sigh, one in which he shares.
"Mutou's entrance is met with a collective sigh, which he joins."

Whether this is more understandable is open to debate. :p
"The class sigh as mutou enters, one which he replicates" ? I'm no scholar XD to be honest it's perfectly fine as it is just a little confusing ;) Other than that this is really nice and it's great to see you're back :D <3

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Riakai
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Riakai » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:14 pm

I looooooooooooove it. Spent my day catching up on this Fic.
Nice start to Act 2, Suzu is rather funny in this fic. Not as deep and gloomy as in Scissorlip's portrayal.
Keep dem updates roooooooollin'.
[Innumerable Fits]
The Naomi Inoue Pseudo-Route.

[Ria's One-Shot Hell]
One-Shots. Not much else to say there.

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Numb
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 19/11/2013]

Post by Numb » Sat Nov 23, 2013 7:48 am

Riakai wrote:I looooooooooooove it. Spent my day catching up on this Fic.
Nice start to Act 2, Suzu is rather funny in this fic. Not as deep and gloomy as in Scissorlip's portrayal.
Keep dem updates roooooooollin'.
Suzu is actually my favourite character to write so far. Note that only five characters are currently being used, I have plans to integrate Shizune at some point, and another OC. I will leave it at that though, don't want to spoil anything :3
Anyway, thanks for the support, I'm currently rearranging my schedule to fit dedicated writing hours in to my already busy weeks :D
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - Chapter One: Space-time Out [Part Two]

Post by Numb » Sat Nov 30, 2013 3:27 pm

This one is a bit longer, but that's to be expected now that I'm avoiding time skips. Quite a few characters used here, and the introduction of somebody I've been meaning to use. Enjoy :lol:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Handing Suzu her coffee with a look of confusion, I look between the two girls. Shizune signs something to Suzu after giving me a smile and nod. “Hisao, hold on to that coffee for a bit please? It makes signing hard.” She hands the coffee back to me, prying my fingers open and placing it in my grasp. She turns back to Shizune, about to start conversing again when I interject.

“Wait a second. You sign?” I ask, knowing the redundancy of my question before it even leaves my lips. She rolls her eyes at me, signing to Shizune while doing so.

“Yes, I do. Shizune is an old friend, I’ve actually known her longer than Misha has, I was actually her first interpreter. I only really stopped because Misha transferred in and Shizune wanted to help her with her signing.”

Shizune nods, making it apparent that Suzu was translating the entire conversation for her. She starts signing something back, but stops when papers fall from under her arm. She makes an attempt to grab them before they scatter, but gravity is the victor of this battle and the papers spread all across the hallway.

“Oh damn…” Suzu mutters, signing it for Shizune, likely unconsciously, before squatting down to start collecting them. Shizune sets to work too, crawling across the floor and picking up papers quicker than I’ve seen anyone do before. “Hisao, give us a hand here.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” I stammer, almost diving down into the papers to get to work. Almost forgetting to set Suzu’s coffee aside, I pull a few sheets towards me and read them. On one of the sheets is a list of names, none of which I recognise at first glance. Looking down the list more carefully, I spot Emi’s name, just a little above Miki’s. “Track meet paperwork?”

“Yeah, now stop reading and help us organise this mess! Huh?” A loud snap pulls our attention away from the sheets, directing them instead at the source; Shizune. She starts signing something, pointing around her and at the door at the end of the hall a few times.

“What’s she‒ “ I start to ask, but Suzu cuts me off by holding up a hand in front of my face. She keeps her gaze focused on Shizune’s quickly moving hands, watching every sharp slicing motion and smooth curving one. Shizune stops, allowing Suzu to summarise what she just said.

“She said we can leave these papers, they need to be in a specific order anyway and there’s no way to tell what that order is anymore. I told her you can go with her to get another copy from Kenta, since you know him well enough. I’ll be in the cafeteria with a few guys from the literature club, you should see us when you get back. I’ll give you the poetry lesson there, now go help Shizune.” Not leaving me with choice, nor time to answer, Suzu walks past us both, bending down to pick up the can of coffee on the way.

Shizune grabs me by the sleeve, tugging and pointing to the door at the opposite end of the hall, reminding me of a small child dragging her parents through a carnival. “Alright, lets go.” Again, she can’t hear me. Stop trying to talk to her Hisao.

She sets a brisk pace, leading me through the school and out the main entrance. A blast of hot air hits me as we pass through the doors while Shizune ignores it and glides down the stairs and on to the main path. Stopping and turning to face me, she taps her foot on the ground impatiently while she waits for me to adjust to the heat. After a few seconds, I follow her down the stairs and she turns and starts leading me back to Kenta.

Heading down one of the smaller paths and around the infirmary building, the track field comes into view, along with two familiar faces. Kenta and Emi are running laps together, likely in training for the track meet. Shizune makes her way to the bleachers, beckoning me over to stand with her while she waits for the pair to notice her.

Kenta turns around, running backwards, somehow keeping his pace, and shouting motivation to Emi. “Dammit… Kenta… You know… how much… that… annoys me.” She pants, clearly out of breath. Actually, I think this is the first time I’ve seen her struggling like this. They round the next corner, making their way over to us. Kenta turns around, running normally now, and notices us standing by the bleachers. He motions to Emi, telling her to keep going while he talks to us, but she follows him over to us and collapses on to one of the benches behind us, her clothes drenched in sweat. “Screw… you… Kenta…”

“Don’t be like that Emi, you said you wanted to win the track meet on Sunday, so I’m helping you.”

“Drop… dead…” She gasps for air, sitting up and removing her prosthetics, rubbing the stump of her legs.

“Stop whining. Anyway, what can I do for you two?” Kenta waves Emi off, turning to face us. Shizune looks at me, turning her hand in a grandiose gesture telling me to explain.

“Well, Shizune dropped the track meet forms when she was talking to Suzu‒“

“Wait, Suzu knows how to sign?” Both Emi and Kenta interject, Emi still gasping for air and coughing a little bit. “Emi, don’t talk, just rest.” Kenta orders, much to Emi’s displeasure as she swipes at him, though she is too far away to reach.

“Ass.”

“Sorry Hisao, continue.” Kenta apologises, ignoring Emi.

“Uhh, alright. Yeah, she signs, it surprised me too, apparently she used to be Shizune’s interpreter before Misha transferred. Anyway, she said something about them being in a specific order or something and that she wouldn’t be able to sort them again,” I turn to Shizune, looking for approval, though all I find is a frown. Of course. Deaf.

“Oh, you so you just need another printout. Not a problem, come with me, there’s a spare copy in the equipment shed.”

“You mean… your love nest…”

“Shut up Emi, drink some water or something then go see the nurse. Unless you wanna run some more, them I’m willing to spend some more time‒“

“No… Please no.” She stops him, holding up a hand and reaching for her water bottle.

“Suit yourself.” Kenta laughs, turning and motioning for us to follow him. Shizune, apparently bored with the conversation, has been absentmindedly looking around. I wave a hand in front of her face, causing her to recoil and blush a little before signing furiously at me. She eventually just gives up and crosses her arms over her chest and starts following Kenta, who is finding the whole scenario hilarious.

Jogging to catch up, I take my place beside Kenta as we walk. He starts the conversation by asking me if I’m still coming to my scheduled running time.

“Yeah, I guess. If I miss one, I’ll probably miss more, right?”

“Nice, so you do think that way. I’ve got stuff to do later, so I’ll leave you to run with Emi, alright? She’ll be gentle, don’t worry.” He says as he places a hand on my shoulder. “Keep Shizune out of the shed, she’ll pick up on a certain… scent.”

He laughs as he reaches into his pocket for the key and enters, noticing the awkward expression on my face. I shake my head, trying to make sense of the world again before turning to Shizune and doing my best to tell her we have to wait out here. She starts signing, probably to question why, but realises quickly that she needs to dumb her gestures down for me to understand. She eventually settles for drawing a question mark in the air with her hand.

I look around, trying to find something to write with, before Kenta pokes his head around the door. “This might take a while, I can’t find them. You want a notepad or something so you two can actually talk?”

“Yes, please.”

He ducks back into the shed for a moment and returns with a pen and pad of paper, handing it to Shizune with a message already scrawled on.

[Can’t find the papers, talk to Hisao while I look for them]

Shizune scowls and tries to follow Kenta back inside, but I stop her and shake my head. She starts scribbling something down before thrusting the paper into my hands and tapping her foot.

[Why can’t I go inside?]

I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and turn my head down to the pad to hide it while I write out my reply.

[Health and safety, he doesn’t want us getting hurt.]

I pass her the message and she rolls her eyes, apparently not buying the excuse. She takes the pen and scrawls another message before giving the pad back and walking around to the side of the shed.

[I’m getting out of the sun, join me if you want, but tell Kenta we haven’t left.]

I knock on the door, poking my head around and drawing Kenta’s attention. “Shizune said to tell you we haven’t left, she just wanted to get out of the sun and there’s some shade behind the shed.”

“Ah, no problem. Hey, look what I found,” he says as he pulls a long wooden pole with a horse head on the end from behind a shelf. “It’s a wooden horse, no idea why we have it. Might do something fun with it for the track meet.” He starts riding it around the shed, knocking over a stack of cones in the process.

“Uhh… Sure, well you know where we are when you find those papers.” Closing the door, I walk around to the other side of the shed to meet Shizune, who is leaning against the wall and doodling on the pad. Looking up, she notices me and smiles, turning back to the pad and writing another message.

[Look what I drew, it’s Suzu.] Looking down at the doodle below, a disfigured person covered in spikes is falling on somebody. I guess if you squint a little it looks like her, but I can see that Shizune doesn’t draw much.

[Why is she covered in spikes?]

[She’s a superhero, she falls asleep on people who commit crimes. She used to say I could put swords on my hands and be her partner in justice.]

[Well, don’t let me stop you from drawing, I’ll just sit here and wait for Kenta.]

[It’s alright, I was just waiting for you so we could talk. Did you enjoy the festival?] She wants to talk? I didn’t expect Shizune to be the talkative type, but I guess it’s better than sitting in silence and waiting. I take the pen and start writing.

[Yeah, besides the visit to the nurse, everything was pretty fun. The fireworks were nice, did you organise that?]

[No, the fireworks are left to the staff. Misha fell asleep on the roof with Suzu, so it was just me, Kenta and Emi. Neither of them sign, but we had a pad like this. Where did you and Miki go last night anyway? We didn’t see you after lunch.]

[We were in the nurse’s office for a few hours, Miki needed some rest. We didn’t really get to play any of the games or anything.] I make sure not to say anything that might hint at where we watched the fireworks, or any of the details beyond the nurse’s office.

[Is she sick?] Shizune asks, evidently deciding not to ask any more questions about the festival.

[Yeah, she ate some bad yakisoba. That’s why she was holding on to my arm when we bumped into each other.]

[I think you two looked cute like that.] I turn away, trying to hide my face as she silently giggles behind me. We stay like this for a few minutes, Shizune probably finding the whole thing hilarious.

“Hey, I found those papers.” Kenta breaks the silence, noticing us sitting on the ground against the shed. Shizune stands up, wiping the dirt off her skirt, and I follow suit. I try give her the pad so she can write something, but she pushes it away and takes the sheets from Kenta.

“Thanks Kenta,” I say, for retrieving the papers and for saving us from that silence. “Hey, you know if Miki is taking visitors or not? I had something I wanted to talk to her about later tonight.”

“Oh, uh… I’d probably wait until tomorrow. If she texts you, then go, but she needs to rest. She’ll be back tomorrow, you think it can wait until then?”

“Yeah, I guess. Suzu can ask about it anyway, it involves her. Anyway, thanks again, I’ve gotta go get lunch.”

“Alright bud, catch ya later. Thanks for keeping Shizune out of the shed by the way, saved my ass.” He laughs, running off before I can say anything else. Shizune looks back at me and points over her shoulder with her thumb. I nod, and we start making our way back across the track and to the school.

Passing Emi, she is putting on her regular walking prosthetics again, tucking the running blades away in a sports bag with her water bottle, which apparently she emptied on her face. She waves, hoping down from the bleachers to join us.

“Hey Hisao,” She starts signing something to Shizune, and is rewarded with a smile and a small round of applause; probably something she learned on the night of the festival. “So Hisao, you’re running with me today, right? What’ve you been doing with Miki so far?”

“Uh, about five laps I think. I should be fine on my own, but I’m guessing you want to run with me, to make sure I don’t slack off or something. Just don’t push too hard, you’ve seen my pace before.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be nice. You’re Miki’s partner after all, I can’t go changing her schedule. Anyway, did Kenta get caught back there?” She asks, apparently tired of both the act of running and talking about it.

“No, I kept Shizune out of the shed for him.”

“Aww, you’re no fun! At least start teasing him about it, I saw how awkward you got when you were walking over there.” She giggles, poking her tongue out at me and drawing a confused look from Shizune.

“It’s a little bit harder to tease when I barely know anything about him. I only know his name, his disability and his two ‘hobbies’,” I make air quotes to highlight the last part. “Besides, I don’t like teasing people.”

Emi explodes into a fit of laughter, making Shizune frown at being left out of a joke. “That’s a good one Hisao, I hear you and Miki going at each other all the time. If you don’t like teasing people, then I don’t like running.”

“That’s different‒“

“Why?”

“I… I don’t know, it just is.” I mumble, irritated at the quick defeat. We round the corner of the infirmary building, stepping out of the shade it provided and into the heat.

“Alright Hisao, I’m going to go see Nurse, I’ll catch you later, okay?” She laughs, slapping me lightly on the back before running ahead and climbing the stairs to the entrance, leaving me with Shizune. We keep our heads turned forwards, as neither of us has anything to say to the other, or rather we can’t say anything.

Giving me a smile and a wave after we step through the main entrance, Shizune heads left and down a side corridor to, I assume, the Student Council room. I head right and make my way back to the cafeteria, checking my watch. I still have about twenty minutes of the lunch break, but unless Suzu saved me some food, I’ll likely go hungry.

Stepping into the cafeteria, I scan the tables for a blue haired sleeping girl, my eyes eventually coming to rest on the far corner of the room, where Suzu is indeed napping. Time to meet the literature club I guess.
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Next
Critiques, error corrections, feedback of any kind. All of these things are things I like seeing, so feel free to leave them :D
Last edited by Numb on Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:16 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

OutofBlues
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by OutofBlues » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:07 pm

Suzu's characterization in this fic has always struck me as "off" because I found Scissorlips' interpretation to be so compelling, but I think after this entry I'm starting to appreciate your characterization as a more balanced individual. Here, Suzu doesn't seem as overwhelmed by her disorder as she does in Scissorlips' portrayal partially, I suppose, due to the traumatic experience she is dealing with in Suzu's Pseudo Route.

Or hell, maybe it's just because we're not experiencing this from her PoV. Either way, I'm glad to see you're updating this again, and I'm looking forward to more Miki awesomeness.

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Mader Levap
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Mader Levap » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:54 pm

I... I think that whole shed business is a little overplayed here. :?
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Feurox
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Feurox » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:07 pm

Another interesting chapter ;) Only critique would be bout the shed thing being slightly overdone but that is probably just me and you might have an idea of where it is headed anyway so I won't count my chickens ;) over wise good start :D <3

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:12 pm

A bit... Why would they keep paperwork in an equipment shed anyway?
“Emi, don’t talk, just rest.”
What? No cooldown laps? ^_^

Otherwise a nice chapter. Good to see you back.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Numb
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Numb » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:14 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:A bit... Why would they keep paperwork in an equipment shed anyway?
They keep them there because I couldn't think of another place to put them :lol:
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Steinherz » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:26 pm

Numb wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:A bit... Why would they keep paperwork in an equipment shed anyway?
They keep them there because I couldn't think of another place to put them :lol:
A perfectly valid reason :lol:
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
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Re: Blossom - Chapter One: Space-time Out [Part Two]

Post by griffon8 » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:40 pm

Numb wrote:Giving me a smile and wave after we step through the main entrance, Shizune heads into the nearest stairwell and up to, I assume, the Student Council room.
She might be heading up, but not the Student Council room. That's on the first floor (Risk vs. Reward).
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

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Numb
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Re: Blossom - Chapter One: Space-time Out [Part Two]

Post by Numb » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:46 pm

griffon8 wrote:
Numb wrote:Giving me a smile and wave after we step through the main entrance, Shizune heads into the nearest stairwell and up to, I assume, the Student Council room.
She might be heading up, but not the Student Council room. That's on the first floor (Risk vs. Reward).
Really? I always assumed it was on the same floor as classroom 3-3. Oh well, I'll fix that then :lol:
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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Frosticle
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Frosticle » Sat Nov 30, 2013 10:02 pm

Another good post Numb! I'm really enjoying this, so keep up the great work!
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AnathRaema
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by AnathRaema » Sat Nov 30, 2013 10:11 pm

Great chapter. This is going to be like all the anime that started in October, that I'm watching. Patiently, yet excitedly waiting for my next fix. I'm like a fanfic drug addict.
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I write poetry sometimes. It's pretty bad. I should work on that at one point.

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Riakai
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Re: Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route [Update 30/11/2013]

Post by Riakai » Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:48 pm

AnathRaema wrote:Great chapter. This is going to be like all the anime that started in October, that I'm watching. Patiently, yet excitedly waiting for my next fix. I'm like a fanfic drug addict.
*Grabs fan-fic heroin and injects into arm*
GOT MAH FIX
[Innumerable Fits]
The Naomi Inoue Pseudo-Route.

[Ria's One-Shot Hell]
One-Shots. Not much else to say there.

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