Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

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swampie2
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by swampie2 » Tue Jan 12, 2016 9:37 am

It took me a long while to get through this series, but I'm so glad I did.

I think it's because the whole concept of waiting for someone to decide if they like you just doesn't click with me. Like if I asked someone out and they said "let me think about it." then that's pretty much a no. I'm not sure if that's a cultural thing of If it's just me. :lol:

Once I was past the point where nobody knew what they felt towards Hisao I enjoyed it more. The deconstructed Lilly was a very cool idea, and Hanako coming out of her shell to shout at Lilly multiple times was interesting to say the least. I kind of expected Hisao to end up with her and bring her out of her shell, but then she ended up sorting it out herself. Emi was, well, Emi! You did a great job of writing her exactly as the VN portrays her.

Emi's route is my favorite route but Hanako is my favorite character, so It was hard to side with anyone for more than a chapter, but I can easily see a different ending where Hisao is with Hanako instead.

I look forward to whatever you write next, this last few days I spent reading this was a real rollercoaster of pain, sweat and almost-tears, but it was worth it for that sweet sugar coated strawberry ending. Fantastic job, Dew! :D
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by Sharp-O » Wed Jan 13, 2016 11:04 am

Finally finished up this series and god damn, it's a good one. True, fun times are few and far between around and the whole scenario is not one of my favourites, the characters are well presented and very relatable. Personally, my favourite character is Noriko.

Overall, a fantastic read and definitely worth the praise it's received and will receive.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by MajorMadness » Sat Jan 16, 2016 10:31 pm

I just finished this and all I can say is that it was fantastic. This flew under my radar for so long, but boy am I glad I finally picked it up.

The different POVs each chapter is something I love so much, especially when we got to hear some characters other than the main 4 like Rin.

This was one long thing, but i managed to do it on and off in 10 days, and boy I don't regret a single second of that. That was such a great read and holy shit balls do I love it!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by emmjay » Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:32 am

swampie2 wrote:Like if I asked someone out and they said "let me think about it." then that's pretty much a no.
So you're like Lucy in A Charlie Brown Christmas. "You didn't answer right away. You had to think about it, didn't you? If you really thought I was beautiful, you'd have spoken right up! I know when I've been insulted!"
Yuuko > Akira > Miki > Meiko > Sae.

Some one-shots I've written (Updated 7/29/2017)

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by Texaboose » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:41 am

Wow. Ok... where to begin? First-up I guess is... congratulations. 2+ years of dedication, 60 chapters plus interludes of consistent fantastic writing, and a regular update cycle - it's... mind-blowing. You're not even doing this for a paycheck, but just driving on pure passion. So second-up: damn, I admire you.

Enough brown-nosing, and onto what I thought of Developments as a story. The thing that I'll remember it most for is for filling in all the KS blanks. Call it headcanon or fanon, as far as I'm concern, you just extended upon the KS universe so well it should be universally accepted. Meiko's reaction to the accident and Emi's subsequent reaction to Meiko's development? Works perfectly. Hanako not really wanting to go on the trip with N&N originally, but was using it as an excuse to give Lilly and Hisao alone-time? Seems obvious now. Lilly and Hisao running into Rin in Act 1 because she forgot about getting a haircut? Hahaha... beautiful. And of course the big one of Shizune having a mother that's not only alive and well, but left for Julia, not only explaining Jigoro's and Hideaki's quirks, but also lending weight to Shizune's and MIsha's relationship? Absolute friggin genius. And that's just the stuff I can remember of the top of my head. With so many small nods to so many characters and references, you've given KS an extra dimension of reality. Granted there was the K-On! crossover, but K-On!'s one of my guilty pleasures, so I'll just giggle to myself about that one. If you'd given screen time to Miki and/or Suzu, I would have been in seventh-heaven, but where they already have their own extremely well written pseudo-routes, I can see why you felt that you didn't having to re-work something that's already been done.

Regarding the different arcs and the different protagonists - I gotta admit the sum is greater than the parts. If you just took, say, Hanako's arc in itself and read it from start-to-finish, you would be screaming in frustration half way though at her circular thinking, at Hisao's indecision and at their lack of communication (while I'm on this train of thought, one thing that Developments really drove home was Goddamn teenagers and the lack of social skills and melodrama). Lilly's arc especially had me in a state-of-denial because she is my fan-favorite. To see someone you like go through the wringer like that... dem feels.
When you expertly weaved all the arcs together though, with the wise-decision to have differing point-of-views, it turned the story into something complex and intertwined with just the right about of drama. Some small parts may have felt a bit dragged out, but only if you forget the context that the past few chapters only takes place over a couple of days. With next to no fluff, I commend you on how you structured and tied everything together. If this was a fully written piece that has been passed by an editor a few times, it would have been impressive, but doing it chapter-by-chapter with an rough outline of where you want to go, and still join all the pieces of the puzzle? <Insert More Praise Here>.
Oh, and as far as the controversial Rin and Misha pov's? Love 'em both.

Next point: OC's and side-characters. Well... guess I'll just repeat what everyone else has said. They were great. Like, really, really great. Think we can all agree that Noriko was everyone's favorite, with her giving that awesome insight of Hisao being the only person willing to understand those that everyone else didn't want to. Although I don't think she needs her own spin-off story or anything, every chapter she was in was gold. Taka-Taka, while her role was small, is another character that everyone who's read Developments will remember. And then there's Mayoi who earned a podium place of Character-That-Should-Have-Been-Canon. The inclusion and fleshing out of Meiko, Lilly's parents, Hisao's parents, Iwanako (ok... thanking Leaty for this one ;) ), Shin, Mai and Ritsu were all extra shadings and hints of color that made the picture perfect. And Nurse got a goddamn name (ok, so I guess I thank brythain for that one, but you included it too)!

Right now, I feel like I do when I've finished a long novel - and let's face it, I have. That weird feeling of completeness, but hollowness that it's over. I don't think I could pick a favorite story on the forums - there are too many that superb in their own way. But this is officially one of my favorites.

Thank you, dewelar, and well done.
Currently reading (and being thoroughly depressed by): After the Dream by brythain
Also currently reading (sans depression):
The Benefit of Hindsight by Puncyclopedia
Learning to Fly by Eurobeatjester
Flutter by Sharp-O

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by dewelar » Sun Jan 31, 2016 4:08 am

Hey! Very cool to see more new folks discovering this story!
swampie2 wrote:It took me a long while to get through this series, but I'm so glad I did.
Thanks!
Emi was, well, Emi! You did a great job of writing her exactly as the VN portrays her.
That's very nice to hear. I tried my best to stay true to all the characters, and Emi was the one I took the furthest afield in the process, so hearing that I maintained her character throughout is sweet :) .
Sharp-O wrote:Finally finished up this series and god damn, it's a good one. True, fun times are few and far between around and the whole scenario is not one of my favourites, the characters are well presented and very relatable. Personally, my favourite character is Noriko.
I'm really sensing a pattern here ;-) .
Overall, a fantastic read and definitely worth the praise it's received and will receive.
I'll take your word for it :wink:!
MajorMadness wrote:This was one long thing, but i managed to do it on and off in 10 days, and boy I don't regret a single second of that. That was such a great read and holy shit balls do I love it!
*laughs* Thanks!
Texaboose wrote:Wow. Ok... where to begin? First-up I guess is... congratulations. 2+ years of dedication, 60 chapters plus interludes of consistent fantastic writing, and a regular update cycle - it's... mind-blowing. You're not even doing this for a paycheck, but just driving on pure passion. So second-up: damn, I admire you.
Admire? I think that might be a new one. I'll take it :mrgreen:.
The thing that I'll remember it most for is for filling in all the KS blanks. Call it headcanon or fanon, as far as I'm concern, you just extended upon the KS universe so well it should be universally accepted.
I would like to think that could happen, but I'm not that lucky :wink:.

Seriously, though, as the story grew, this became one of my main goals. I wanted to explore the reasons why things were the way they were, admittedly for myself first but secondarily for anyone else who felt like they needed them as I did.
If you'd given screen time to Miki and/or Suzu, I would have been in seventh-heaven, but where they already have their own extremely well written pseudo-routes, I can see why you felt that you didn't having to re-work something that's already been done.
Yeah, upon reflection there's a part of me that regrets writing myself into a Miki-less corner. At the time I started this, I felt like she was overused in fanfiction, but I've come back around to liking her again. Suzu...well, yeah, Scissorlips pretty much gave us the definitive work there, but I also never really found a good place to work her in.
With next to no fluff, I commend you on how you structured and tied everything together. If this was a fully written piece that has been passed by an editor a few times, it would have been impressive, but doing it chapter-by-chapter with an rough outline of where you want to go, and still join all the pieces of the puzzle?
Well, to a point. I usually had at least pieces of the next 2-3 chapters written before posting the current one. Then again, my creative process is...different, as Leaty could probably tell you :|.
Oh, and as far as the controversial Rin and Misha pov's? Love 'em both.
Thanks. I fully stand behind the Rin, but with Misha I can sympathize with the "too many wavedashes!" crowd at least a little.
Think we can all agree that Noriko was everyone's favorite, with her giving that awesome insight of Hisao being the only person willing to understand those that everyone else didn't want to. Although I don't think she needs her own spin-off story or anything, every chapter she was in was gold.
8) Sometimes, I strike targets I'm not even aiming at. Noriko Yoshimura: Breakout Character is one of those. Yet again, though, I'll take it. I enjoyed writing her a lot, too, after all.
Iwanako (ok... thanking Leaty for this one ;) )
So am I. I actually didn't read Mean Time to Breakdown until I was well into this story. Even before we decided to collaborate, Leaty's portrayal of Iwanako made me change my thinking on how I'd be portraying her when the time came. It allowed me time to think about other pieces of the puzzle in more depth, for which I am quite grateful :D.
Right now, I feel like I do when I've finished a long novel - and let's face it, I have. That weird feeling of completeness, but hollowness that it's over. I don't think I could pick a favorite story on the forums - there are too many that superb in their own way. But this is officially one of my favorites.

Thank you, dewelar, and well done.
*bows* And, as always, thanks to all of you for the kind words!
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by zanntaggerung » Wed Jun 29, 2016 10:02 pm

Is it too late to post praise for this story? I buried it in my bookmarks looong ago, before it was even finished, and finally got to it a couple weeks ago. Here I am at the end to say that you did a terrific job. I do wonder what it would be like if I had been following it over the two years instead, because as it was I just couldn't stop coming back for more. Yeah, I felt like there were some quirks, especially all the "hand on shoulders, arms, etc." (which might just be my personal discomfort with it), but it was great to see all the layers of perspective between the character interactions. Mark me as a fan of the Rin chapter, and hell I guess almost every chapter in the story. The waterworks started running on me a couple times, which generally means I'm touched by a good read :) .

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by dewelar » Thu Jun 30, 2016 11:19 pm

zanntaggerung wrote:Is it too late to post praise for this story?
Well, I certainly don't think so :D.

Seriously, though, this board doesn't really care if you necro a thread as long as you've got something to say about it. I've seen stuff that was buried for years pop back up.
I buried it in my bookmarks looong ago, before it was even finished, and finally got to it a couple weeks ago. Here I am at the end to say that you did a terrific job. I do wonder what it would be like if I had been following it over the two years instead, because as it was I just couldn't stop coming back for more. Yeah, I felt like there were some quirks, especially all the "hand on shoulders, arms, etc." (which might just be my personal discomfort with it), but it was great to see all the layers of perspective between the character interactions. Mark me as a fan of the Rin chapter, and hell I guess almost every chapter in the story. The waterworks started running on me a couple times, which generally means I'm touched by a good read :) .
Thanks very much for the kind words! I don't really visit these boards very much lately, but it's always a good feeling to know that my story's being enjoyed, and having an effect on people. Thanks for reading!
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by Jacupov » Sat May 13, 2017 12:39 am

I see that I am very late to the party here. But I loved every word of Developments and couldn't have asked for something better to have binge read the past week. I'm tempted to ask if there's a copy of this all in one file anywhere because I'd love to have a copy to keep around for reading again in the future, if at all possible please let me know! Thanks again for an amazing read!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by dewelar » Sat May 13, 2017 3:47 pm

Jacupov wrote:I see that I am very late to the party here. But I loved every word of Developments and couldn't have asked for something better to have binge read the past week.
Thanks very much!
I'm tempted to ask if there's a copy of this all in one file anywhere because I'd love to have a copy to keep around for reading again in the future, if at all possible please let me know! Thanks again for an amazing read!
I don't expect that this site is going away anytime soon, but I understand. There used to be a copy on Pastebin, but I haven't looked at it in ages -- actually I don't even remember if it's all there, and it's certainly missing at least a few minor edits I've made -- and it's broken down by chapter just like it is here. I also have a copy on my hard drive, but it's in MS Word format and also broken down by chapter. I suppose I could zip it up and post it to a file sharing site if that works for you.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by olda » Sun Jan 28, 2018 10:14 pm

Dewelar
I am late to this post, but I feel I really have to say how immensely I have been enjoying reading this novel. Yes, because I only got to play/read KS few months ago, the wonderful world of fanfics has just dawned on me through last two months. I read Developments in one long take (took me a week - I am not an English native speaker) so for me it was a novel of almost classical proportions. I will humbly state several small thoughts which occured to me during the reading of this work and while contemplating it afterwards.

First I have to give praise to your work, because i was cought reading it in my spare time down to morning hours and was several times hunted down by my wife to go to bed, i just couldn't. The novel plot in a vague sence reminded me, or gave me feeling similar to my favourite Classical Chinese novel - Dream of Red Chamber - there is also a love triangle, there is also ambiguity of whom will the main character choose, they also live in a kind of closed compound that is walled in, only venturing outside for the reasons of plot development, there is also only one main male character, with dozen of female characters of different importance (taking Kenji out actually lessened the weight of supporting male characters - we have only two and they are both quite minor - Yoshi and Goro if I am not mistaken). Actually the Fathers appear to be of similar distant figures as in the Dream. Just something I wanted to point out, it may be only my feeling, but I think art is about individual feelings, so for me this analogy holds :)

You POV switching technique also reminds me of some classical Chinese novels, or even some recent Japanes one, so to me it makes the novel feel more Asian in style, apart from setting and characters.

Second I have to say what you wrote is a piece of great art. Because you made me think about your work, you made me feel deep, you made me laugh, you made me want to read more and more, you made me cry several times; I could very strongly relate to your characters developments, I wanted things happen the right way, even when it didn't. Due to similarities with my wife and also due to the preferences I have with KS characters I was strongly feeling for Hanako and I was very angry, even shouting at you as a writer for some plot developments and twists in the story (that is a praise).

I love Rin chapter and Rins involvment in the story, even when it seemed obvious from her giving the painting to Hisao that it will be Emi whom will he chose - so it made me really uneasy. I wish there was more Rin. I love how you write Emi running poem.

If I may, really humbly (looking at your work as a novel and not a series) give you some tiny dissenting opinion on the whole structure of the novel it would be following remarks.

The climax was actually long time before end of the novel and the foreshadowing of the climax was even longer, so actually the chapters after Hisaos' choosing Emi were kind of downhill towards the inevitable end, with neatly tying most of the knots, which felt nice, but considerably less dramatic from the whole preceding 50 or so chapters. Almost felt like change in genre from drama to romantic melodrama or so. However, I really like you last - long chapter with creating or bringing up several conflicts which however remain unresolved. I felt that especially the Hisaos conflict with mother was actually the pepper that if brought up early in the 50s, could actually keep the dramatic arc right to the end.

What I also missed from the whole plot was actually an antihero. Apart from very small supporting cast characters (girl from newspaper club), all characters had good if selfish and also noble intentions - even if misguided. It gives you huge credit that you could create such a drama with mostly well intentioning characters. The only character that you wrote as an antihero was again, Hisaos' mother. I wish there was this subplot developed into an arc which would actually make a good ending to a whole novel.

The only very small point I wanna make, based on my personal experience (with my wife) is that such a development that Hanako goes through during the summer break, usually takes considerably longer time to accomplish, and with usually much more complicated twists and turns. In this sense, the slow development of Hanako in Sisterhood is probably more realistic. But I take it to your writers licence wanting to make a neat arc with resolution at the begining of new school year.

By the end, sorry if this post is too long, I really felt I wanted to make you know that your novel still has impact on readers. Also I make your novel and Sisterhood my favourite fanfics which brought me, apart from joy of reading, also some deep emotional memories from my life that I hold dear. For all this I warmly thank you again.
Hanako=Rin>Lilly>Emi>Shizune>Misha>Hisao

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by dewelar » Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:30 am

olda wrote:
Sun Jan 28, 2018 10:14 pm
Dewelar
I am late to this post, but I feel I really have to say how immensely I have been enjoying reading this novel.
Many thanks! It's good to know that this story continues to be enjoyed. I don't check these boards as often as I once did, or I would have replied sooner.
Yes, because I only got to play/read KS few months ago, the wonderful world of fanfics has just dawned on me through last two months.
It's also good to know that KS itself continues to attract new readers. I still consider it to be one of my favorite works.
I read Developments in one long take (took me a week - I am not an English native speaker) so for me it was a novel of almost classical proportions. I will humbly state several small thoughts which occured to me during the reading of this work and while contemplating it afterwards.
I always appreciate feedback on my work, positive or otherwise, so again, thanks!
First I have to give praise to your work, because i was cought reading it in my spare time down to morning hours and was several times hunted down by my wife to go to bed, i just couldn't. The novel plot in a vague sence reminded me, or gave me feeling similar to my favourite Classical Chinese novel - Dream of Red Chamber - there is also a love triangle, there is also ambiguity of whom will the main character choose, they also live in a kind of closed compound that is walled in, only venturing outside for the reasons of plot development, there is also only one main male character, with dozen of female characters of different importance (taking Kenji out actually lessened the weight of supporting male characters - we have only two and they are both quite minor - Yoshi and Goro if I am not mistaken). Actually the Fathers appear to be of similar distant figures as in the Dream. Just something I wanted to point out, it may be only my feeling, but I think art is about individual feelings, so for me this analogy holds :)
Very interesting. I've never heard of the novel you mentioned, but then my knowledge of Chinese literature is minimal. Do you know if an English translation exists? I would be very interested in reading it.
You POV switching technique also reminds me of some classical Chinese novels, or even some recent Japanes one, so to me it makes the novel feel more Asian in style, apart from setting and characters.
I did a fair amount of research into Japanese culture in the process of writing Developments, so perhaps some of that contributed to that feeling.
Second I have to say what you wrote is a piece of great art. Because you made me think about your work, you made me feel deep, you made me laugh, you made me want to read more and more, you made me cry several times; I could very strongly relate to your characters developments, I wanted things happen the right way, even when it didn't. Due to similarities with my wife and also due to the preferences I have with KS characters I was strongly feeling for Hanako and I was very angry, even shouting at you as a writer for some plot developments and twists in the story (that is a praise).
*bows* I am honored by your praise.
I love Rin chapter and Rins involvment in the story, even when it seemed obvious from her giving the painting to Hisao that it will be Emi whom will he chose - so it made me really uneasy. I wish there was more Rin. I love how you write Emi running poem.
I don't know how much of the discussion within the thread you read, but in it I mentioned that I myself relate to Rin more than any other character in KS. That is actually why I chose not to make her a focus character, since one of my aims in writing this was to push myself beyond my own boundaries of what I was comfortable writing -- to write from the perspective of someone less like myself.
If I may, really humbly (looking at your work as a novel and not a series) give you some tiny dissenting opinion on the whole structure of the novel it would be following remarks.
Of course.
The climax was actually long time before end of the novel and the foreshadowing of the climax was even longer, so actually the chapters after Hisaos' choosing Emi were kind of downhill towards the inevitable end, with neatly tying most of the knots, which felt nice, but considerably less dramatic from the whole preceding 50 or so chapters. Almost felt like change in genre from drama to romantic melodrama or so.
*nods* This was one of the more common criticisms I received during the posting process, and I do understand it. It was always my intention that the story conclude with Hisao's return home, and learning that perhaps his home was not what he thought it was. It's true that most of the story was focused on the love triangle, and its resolution drew the major tension of the story to a close, but the story itself was intended to be broader than that.
However, I really like you last - long chapter with creating or bringing up several conflicts which however remain unresolved. I felt that especially the Hisaos conflict with mother was actually the pepper that if brought up early in the 50s, could actually keep the dramatic arc right to the end.
True. In fact, when I realized how that chapter would need to be, I considered continuing the story to accommodate it. However, at the time I realized that I was nearing a point of burnout on the story, and decided to end it as I originally planned. I have even considered writing a sequel, or at least an epilogue, but my creative energy just hasn't been there in regards to this story, at least not yet.
What I also missed from the whole plot was actually an antihero.
I believe you mean "antagonist". "Antihero" means something different.
Apart from very small supporting cast characters (girl from newspaper club), all characters had good if selfish and also noble intentions - even if misguided. It gives you huge credit that you could create such a drama with mostly well intentioning characters. The only character that you wrote as an antihero was again, Hisaos' mother. I wish there was this subplot developed into an arc which would actually make a good ending to a whole novel.
Understandable. Then again, this is often the essence of the "slice of life" genre, into which I feel this story fits.
The only very small point I wanna make, based on my personal experience (with my wife) is that such a development that Hanako goes through during the summer break, usually takes considerably longer time to accomplish, and with usually much more complicated twists and turns. In this sense, the slow development of Hanako in Sisterhood is probably more realistic. But I take it to your writers licence wanting to make a neat arc with resolution at the begining of new school year.
That's part of it, yes. Sisterhood is an excellent story, and one of my inspirations for writing Developments. I will add, though, that one of my thoughts about Hanako, both in KS and here, is that some of her progress occurred off-screen during Lilly's route. She is something of a different character in her own route (of which Sisterhood was a continuation) than she is in Lilly's. Because she wasn't the focus of that route, we have to interpret what led to her apparent progress there as we see fit, and I, along with several others, believe that she was actually making better progress in Lilly's route than in her own.

Also, I do not consider her journey to be over in this story, either -- not by a long shot. It just so happens that, at the end of Developments, she's in a good place mentally. Sisterhood covers a much longer period of time than this story, and if we were to follow Hanako after the events here, there would likely be similar rises and falls along her path.
By the end, sorry if this post is too long, I really felt I wanted to make you know that your novel still has impact on readers. Also I make your novel and Sisterhood my favourite fanfics which brought me, apart from joy of reading, also some deep emotional memories from my life that I hold dear. For all this I warmly thank you again.
Again, I am honored. To be considered in the same league as Sisterhood is very gratifying, but not quite so much as to hear that my story has had an effect such as you describe on a person. I am glad to have been able to give you that enjoyment.

Take care!
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by Downix » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:47 am

So, at around 8 this morning, clicked on this thread for the first time, mainly out of idle curiosity.

It is now 10:46 at night, and I just finished it. I skipped out on two meetings and a bunch of work I had planned on doing, the material had me so enthralled. Well done.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by sloth4 » Fri May 04, 2018 10:04 pm

This was fantastic and I don’t think I give due credit in this review. The character development, the world-building, the sheer scale of this thing and how engaging each chapter was… a masterpiece. The ups and downs took me on an emotional rollercoaster that left me quite depressed (which is pretty common for me when I read KS fics). Had there been accompanying music, I might have cried at certain points. Hanako talking about being bullied, short as that part was, was especially painful.

I was rooting for Hanako up until the end (she’s my waifu), but you handled the love-triangle or whatever so well that I think it was perfect. Her progression as a character has been fantastic and honestly a little intimidating (I’m planning a Hanako fic and I always bemoan reading such good works since I feel like I can’t compare). I feel like I understand her better, that I understand her fears and anxieties. So kudos on that.

It was also good to see a fleshed out cameo from ‘Seaweed.’ I loved the little shout-outs to other fics, and it was good to see characters from “Mean Time to Breakdown.” It was also nice to see the OCs and background characters get time in the spotlight and NOT come off like one-dimensional placeholder characters.

I hesitated on reading this, given its premise as a post-neutral fic, but I’m glad I got around to it and binged this monster over… three days, I think? I am both saddened and thrilled to be done with it. That epilogue gave me the feelz something awful. :mrgreen:

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dewelar
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

Post by dewelar » Sat May 05, 2018 11:18 am

sloth4 wrote:
Fri May 04, 2018 10:04 pm
This was fantastic and I don’t think I give due credit in this review. The character development, the world-building, the sheer scale of this thing and how engaging each chapter was… a masterpiece.
Many thanks! I'm honored you think so. It's always good to see and hear from new people discovering this story.
The ups and downs took me on an emotional rollercoaster that left me quite depressed (which is pretty common for me when I read KS fics). Had there been accompanying music, I might have cried at certain points. Hanako talking about being bullied, short as that part was, was especially painful.
*nods* I feel like that part of Hanako's life could use some further exploration. From my understanding, the bullying issue in Japan is a good deal worse than it is in many other places, and the pressure not to report it due to the culture is very high.
I was rooting for Hanako up until the end (she’s my waifu), but you handled the love-triangle or whatever so well that I think it was perfect. Her progression as a character has been fantastic and honestly a little intimidating (I’m planning a Hanako fic and I always bemoan reading such good works since I feel like I can’t compare). I feel like I understand her better, that I understand her fears and anxieties. So kudos on that.
Again, thanks. I had a lot of good feedback in real time on this aspect of the story, so I feel like I got it, if not right, then at least right enough, if you know what I mean.

Also, I wish you well on writing your own fic. Try not to get discouraged when reading other people's work -- just write what you want to write, how you want to write it, and see how it turns out, and if you're comfortable with it let those works inspire rather than discourage. There are a lot of good writers here, many of whom would be willing to give you a little guidance.
It was also good to see a fleshed out cameo from ‘Seaweed.’ I loved the little shout-outs to other fics, and it was good to see characters from “Mean Time to Breakdown.” It was also nice to see the OCs and background characters get time in the spotlight and NOT come off like one-dimensional placeholder characters.
As a huge fan of Leaty's work, I was honored that she adopted my version of Noriko (who got a couple lines in Hanako's route but never got a name) as a...well, not necessarily friend of Momomi's, but...associate, maybe? It eventually led to some more substantial collaborations, to the point that I now consider her a close friend.
I hesitated on reading this, given its premise as a post-neutral fic, but I’m glad I got around to it and binged this monster over… three days, I think? I am both saddened and thrilled to be done with it. That epilogue gave me the feelz something awful. :mrgreen:
:D Glad you enjoyed it!
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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