Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by brythain » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:39 pm

Y'know something? Your ability to detail characters has grown a lot since I first started reading Developments. The Newspaper Club people are more real, the Hanako-Emi relationship is more believable. And more Taka-Taka, Natsume and Naomi too! It's a lovely chapter, despite the cloak of gloom that Hana's wrapped around herself.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Hoitash » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:50 pm

brythain wrote: It's a lovely chapter, despite the cloak of gloom that Hana's wrapped around herself.
Seconded. Although if we're near the end of the metaphorical second act, that's entirely to be expected.

...I was just didactic, wasn't I? Crud.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by forgetmenot » Tue Nov 25, 2014 12:21 am

Finally, I recover enough to say, "I d=don't understand."
Missed a spot.

Looking forward to the inevitable Hanako+Lilly reconciliation. Good work.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by griffon8 » Tue Nov 25, 2014 1:12 am

Well, when it’s Taka-Taka and Nurse rooting for Emi/Hisao, the combined forces of the entire student body aren’t enough to sink that ship. :lol:

The summation of the number of people supporting Hanako/Hisao to Hanako has to be a revelation for her. The addition of those pushing ~Emi/Hisao (that’s a logical negation symbol there, not Misha speaking) to the list is also telling. I know Shizune wanted Lilly/Hisao again; I can’t remember who Misaki supported.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Gamma » Tue Nov 25, 2014 5:12 am

Your Hanako continues to make me squeal in delight inside. Like seriously, her character development over this long journey has been absolutely fantastic. And as brythain pointed out, your presentation of her has only become more nuanced as time's gone on. It's been awesome.

It was nice to have the main characters interact with several supporting characters. Adds some fresh perspectives to the mix. Recently a lot of you attention has understandably been dedicated to the main cast's interactions, not that that's a bad thing. At the moment I'm really looking forward to the next Lilly-Hanako meeting. While Hanako's concerned about it, I have a feeling that it'll go a bit better this time.

I'm really interested to see how you decide to finish the story, even though I know there's still quite a bit of time left. I feel it'd be hard to reach a definite conclusion for all these different characters, as everything always seems to develop constantly. Anyways, I have faith that you'll make an awesome ending.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Solistor » Tue Nov 25, 2014 5:25 am

dewelar wrote:Still, from the way she talked, I felt like she wasn't mourning our relationship so much as the failure of love to blossom in general.
After having read brythain's Kenji story Sakura, this kind of touched my feels center. Not sure why or how I connected those dots, but there it is.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:06 am

It's good to see more of a few of the "minor" characters in this chapter.
Natsume is giving off some serious CEO-vibes here and Takako's reaction in her conversation with Hanako later is priceless.

Now, the next chapter is going to be interesting, but I'm even more interested to learn what became of the two drunken lovebirds... I'll probably have to wait at least one more chapter for that, though.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by dewelar » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:40 pm

First off, as always, thanks to all for the kind words!
brythain wrote:Y'know something? Your ability to detail characters has grown a lot since I first started reading Developments. The Newspaper Club people are more real, the Hanako-Emi relationship is more believable. And more Taka-Taka, Natsume and Naomi too! It's a lovely chapter, despite the cloak of gloom that Hana's wrapped around herself.
Thanks very much. Writing the newspaper club scene almost made me wish I'd kept them around for the summer, because I enjoyed it a lot. I think I've added to my mental list of possible future stories.
Hoitash wrote:Although if we're near the end of the metaphorical second act, that's entirely to be expected.
Second act?! Oh, dear god...if that were true I'd still be writing this thing on my deathbed...
forgetmenot wrote:
Finally, I recover enough to say, "I d=don't understand."
Missed a spot.

Looking forward to the inevitable Hanako+Lilly reconciliation. Good work.
Fixed, and thanks.
griffon8 wrote:Well, when it’s Taka-Taka and Nurse rooting for Emi/Hisao, the combined forces of the entire student body aren’t enough to sink that ship. :lol:
You forgot someone :evil:.
I can’t remember who Misaki supported.
Nobody in particular. She was just looking to sabotage Emi.
Gamma wrote:Many kind words
Welcome to the thread, and glad you're enjoying this that much! I hope I can live up to your expectations :).
Mirage_GSM wrote:It's good to see more of a few of the "minor" characters in this chapter.
Natsume is giving off some serious CEO-vibes here and Takako's reaction in her conversation with Hanako later is priceless.
Indeed. Taka-Taka is rapidly becoming one of my favorite characters to write for. As for Natsume...I felt like somewhere at Yamaku, there needed to be someone who was as manipulative as Shizune could be, but from behind the scenes rather than openly like Our Miss Hakamichi. I hope it's coming off well :) .
Now, the next chapter is going to be interesting, but I'm even more interested to learn what became of the two drunken lovebirds... I'll probably have to wait at least one more chapter for that, though.
Yeah, I can guarantee you will see Noriko and Yoshi again. When that will happen will have to remain a mystery :wink:.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:13 pm

You forgot someone :evil:.
Meiko for one...
Rin... probably. Who can tell with her?
Someone else?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by griffon8 » Tue Nov 25, 2014 11:03 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
You forgot someone :evil:.
Meiko for one...
Rin... probably. Who can tell with her?
Someone else?
Oh, yeah, definitely Rin. She did the green = blue painting.

I think Meiko is just happy for an Emi/(anyone at all) pairing.
Last edited by griffon8 on Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Tue Nov 25, 2014 11:41 pm

brythain wrote:It's a lovely chapter, despite the cloak of gloom that Hana's wrapped around herself.
It is a lovely chapter, indeed. However, I think Hanako is wearing that cloak of gloom quite well -- as Natsume pointed out in the chapter.
Misha wrote:"I'm sorry, Hanako," she says, her usual cheerfulness completely gone...
If anybody can understand what Hanako is going through with being rejected, it would be Misha.
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by ogorhan » Thu Nov 27, 2014 8:30 pm

Great chapter as always, was a fun read with all the members of the newspaper club being together, looking forward to the next chapter.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by Mahorfeus » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:48 am

On my first read through of the chapter I found Natsume's attitude utterly insufferable. On the second time around, I found her a lot more sincere. Strange. I know she is lamenting over it, but I might have missed how they were of any help at all in "securing" Hisao's love. Hanako's inability to get a word in kind of got annoying after a while though.

The whole thing also made me feel like Taka-Taka's smug attitude about pushing Hisao and Emi together was more or less justified.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by dewelar » Fri Nov 28, 2014 11:45 am

Thanks again for the continuing flow of kind words...
griffon8 wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
You forgot someone :evil:.
Meiko for one...
Rin... probably. Who can tell with her?
Someone else?
Oh, yeah, definitely Rin. She did the green = blue painting.

I think Meiko is just happy for an Emi/(anyone at all) pairing.
Spot on with both of those, griffon8.
Mahorfeus wrote:On my first read through of the chapter I found Natsume's attitude utterly insufferable. On the second time around, I found her a lot more sincere. Strange.
Well, Developments!Natsume is a bit eccentric after all.
I know she is lamenting over it, but I might have missed how they were of any help at all in "securing" Hisao's love.
That's the idea: they weren't. There are some hints here and there in this chapter and earlier ones as to what exactly was going on in the background at Nat's behest. It just came to naught for reasons.
Hanako's inability to get a word in kind of got annoying after a while though.
Mmmm...I was concerned about that on final read-through, but decided to leave it as-is as a reflection of Hanako's current state of mind as well as Nat's personality.
The whole thing also made me feel like Taka-Taka's smug attitude about pushing Hisao and Emi together was more or less justified.
:D As I said before, there are times when I wish I'd been able to write the newspaper club a bit more. The dynamic between Taka-Taka and Natsume in my head is an interesting one. Anyway, thanks again!
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

Post by BMFJack » Wed Dec 03, 2014 12:10 am

I've been reading this for weeks and finally got caught up. Get ready for a wall of text.

This is the first fanfic I've ever read that wasn't already finished (or dead) and I admit that I've been greatly enjoying most of it.

Until the last, I was secretly hoping that Lilly would do some kind of grand romantic gesture to win Hisao back, but I think from the time she gave Hanako her blessing to pursue Hisao I knew it wouldn't happen. Still wanted it though.

I feel like the Hanako in your story is making incredible leaps and bounds in improvement, especially given that this story only goes a few weeks further than Lilly's route. I'm undecided if this is a good thing or a bad thing; on one hand we get to see more of Hanako's personality, but on the other it's very uncharacteristic of Hanako to just suddenly be more or less okay. I guess I should just be happy that I'm indecisive about it rather than pessimistic.

I feel like your Emi couldn't be more accurate. All the playful teasing, even the running away and avoiding subjects; it's all got Emi written all over it. I have doubts that Emi could hold back, but I could be wrong about that.

Hmm... giving the Nurse a name. It feels wrong. But hey, not my story =p

Writing from multiple perspectives, and especially from every main character's perspective, is extremely awesome. It lets you see inside the head of each character. Then the overlapping POV chapters, it really lets you wrap your head around what happens completely, rather than just getting the one side of it.

There's too much I'd want to say, given that I've just finished reading 54 chapters. I'll leave it at this for now =D

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