Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

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NotSoClassy
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by NotSoClassy » Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:39 pm

The further we go in the more I keep thinking that some big conflict will happen soon.

That shopping event better not be just some peacefull shopping event...

Deadpool021
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Deadpool021 » Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:43 pm

Good chapter :) . It was nice to have the three of them together again but they were so tense given everything that's happened. It's been said a million times before on this thread but I really can't see any ending where no one gets hurt. I just hope at the very least the friendship's survive.

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Oscar Wildecat
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:00 pm

I agree with bhtooefr, a "bad ending" between Hanako and Lilly is probably inevitable. However, that may be a good thing, if it leads the two to restart their relationship on more equal footing (and with a better idea on how to deal with Mr. Hisao Clueless Nakai).

One thing that worries me, is that the seaweed girl's name has been mentioned far too often in the narrative for my comfort. What kelp is she going to stir up, and is it going to "bad end" everything before all is said and done?
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Guest Poster » Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:06 pm

Hold back for Hanako's sake? Hanako figures it out, blows up on her, bad ending.
Hanako's not that volatile and doesn't explode at the drop of a hat whenever something bugs her. The one time she snaps at Hisao in her bad end is due to 1) her being emotionally at rock bottom, 2) Hisao being oblivious to what was going on inside Hanako and 3) Hisao being in Hanako's room, causing her to feel cornered, and insisting on pushing and pushing and pushing.

It was that combination that ultimately set Hanako off and caused her to throw her misgivings in Hisao's face. (the same 3 circumstances were also present in Sisterhood) In Hanako's good ending, she voiced those same misgivings in a healthier way. The situation here isn't similar. Even if something were to cause Hanako to reach an emotional low (she might frown on Lilly holding her own feelings back, but it wouldn't be enough to cause Hanako to immediately sink into a deep depression), her typical reaction would be to lock herself in her room and sulk. In addition, Lilly wouldn't be oblivious to what would be bothering Hanako. And finally, Lilly probably wouldn't try to corner Hanako the way Hisao did in the bad end.

That's not to say Hisao picking Hanako would be a good thing for Lilly's and Hanako's friendship. Unlike the time when the shoe was on the other foot, Hanako WOULD feel quite insecure about Lilly harboring hidden feelings for her boyfriend and would probably fear that Hisao would leave her for Lilly the moment she messes up somehow. That kind of pressure is enough to quickly kill a relationship. Its not a healthy situation and would probably put a strain on Hanako's and Lilly's friendship, even if Lilly completely friendzones Hisao. But it wouldn't be like Hanako's bad end. Most likely, it'd be more like Hanako's neutral end.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by bhtooefr » Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:22 pm

However, she is under some pretty severe emotional stress right now, and Lilly may well meddle a bit too much trying to fix things.
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Blank Mage
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Blank Mage » Sat Mar 15, 2014 5:05 pm

I agree with the general concensus that Lilly is tap dancing on thin ice, and I'm afraid she has no idea. I'm betting that giving Hanako her complete support is going to backfire in one of several ways; either by dating Hisao vicariously through Hanako (as in, becoming an overbearing matchmaker,) or by violating the unwritten rules that Hanako and Emi have played by thus far, perhaps forcing Hisao to choose sooner rather than later. Hanako will view these efforts as more unwanted mothering, or Lilly proving that she doesn't trust Hanako to win Hisao on her own. That way lies a Misstep. Also, Hanako and Emi are almost friends, which Lilly doesn't know, and likely wouldn't believe. (Hanako would never speak badly of others, after all.) So what happens if Lilly confronts Emi? In practice, she would be chasing off a potential friend of Hanako's to protect her from getting hurt... The ultimate White Knight move.

Or I could be completely wrong. Seriously, I'm flat out of speculation at this point. Oh, and I agree that Noriko is a terrible flag waiting to happen.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by dewelar » Sat Mar 15, 2014 11:46 pm

As always, thanks to all for the kind words! Enjoying the speculation, too!
cptngarlock wrote:Another good chapter, as always. I still can't say I'm a fan of Yoshimura's involvement -- there's an aching in my bones that says it'll cause some horrid misunderstandings that, frankly, I'd expect better of. Otherwise, good chapter.
Thanks - always good to see a new face among the comments, and glad you're enjoying the story! I can't say anything about what role Noriko will play in the future, but I doubt it's spoiling too much to say we haven't seen the last of her.
Blasphemy wrote:Good job, as always.
Hey! Good to see you back!
Love these awkward situations where everyone is thinking about the same topic, here everyone's relationship to one another, but can't quite simple bring it up. When it's just two there's some limited information exchange but when all three are present everyone acts like everything is fine on their side and they hope they weren't causing trouble. You do a good job writing all that.
Thanks! Writing conversations between more than two people is kind of a pain in the butt, so I'm glad that turned out well.
Again, well written and I'm glad this keeps getting frequent updates.
I hope I'm not jinxing myself here, but I seem to have fallen into a pattern over the last 4-5 chapters. I take a day or two to clear my head after posting a chapter, then spend about 7-10 days on the first draft, then 2-3 days editing/rewriting before the final test of reading it aloud to my friend. Seems to be what works for me right now.
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Carighan
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Carighan » Sun Mar 16, 2014 4:12 am

Very interesting chapter. I was expecting you to have some sort of positive surprise plot change to Lilly's return.

And I'm quite happy - this being a post-neutral-end story - that there isn't, and you're continuing the plot as it is. :)
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NotSoClassy
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by NotSoClassy » Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:52 am

Oscar Wildecat wrote:I agree with bhtooefr, a "bad ending" between Hanako and Lilly is probably inevitable. However, that may be a good thing, if it leads the two to restart their relationship on more equal footing (and with a better idea on how to deal with Mr. Hisao Clueless Nakai).

One thing that worries me, is that the seaweed girl's name has been mentioned far too often in the narrative for my comfort. What kelp is she going to stir up, and is it going to "bad end" everything before all is said and done?
Are you referring to the Master of Romance? That guy has to do SOMETHING right...

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sanduba
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by sanduba » Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:00 am

So she's back, finally! Things will get much worse from now on, I guess.

Also,
"It's all right, Hanako. Perhaps I should forgo the tea anyway and just get some rest."
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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dewelar
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by dewelar » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:03 am

sanduba wrote:Also,
"It's all right, Hanako. Perhaps I should forgo the tea anyway and just get some rest."
What about it?
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Blank Mage
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Blank Mage » Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:27 pm

dewelar wrote:
sanduba wrote:Also,
"It's all right, Hanako. Perhaps I should forgo the tea anyway and just get some rest."
What about it?
My only thought is that 'forgo' might be spelled wrong, but I'm not sure. Seems like an ordinary statement to me otherwise.
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dewelar
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by dewelar » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:08 pm

Blank Mage wrote:My only thought is that 'forgo' might be spelled wrong, but I'm not sure. Seems like an ordinary statement to me otherwise.
Yeah, possibly. I actually originally had it "forego" and my spell checker yelled at me.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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brythain
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by brythain » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:15 pm

dewelar wrote:
Blank Mage wrote:My only thought is that 'forgo' might be spelled wrong, but I'm not sure. Seems like an ordinary statement to me otherwise.
Yeah, possibly. I actually originally had it "forego" and my spell checker yelled at me.
*grin* 'forego' would mean 'go before'; 'forgo' means 'relinquish' or 'go without'.

But all that is minor compared to the absolutely horrific churning mess of teenage emotions you are making in that blender of yours...
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Oscar Wildecat
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 36 up 3/

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:17 pm

Forego: to go before. Forgo: to give up the use or enjoyment of. (At least according to Merriam-Webster.) So the quoted statement is correct in that respect.

EDIT: Ack. Ninja'd...
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain
“Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.” - Winston Churchill
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