Started reading this a couple of nights ago because I was bored and wanted to kill some time. I can safely say that I am nothing short of glad that I was bored that night as I probably wouldn't have come across this fic for quite some time otherwise.
I've thoroughly enjoyed it thus far. It's the first fic that I've read where Hisao has a choice between girls so, given that this is a story and not a VN, I have been completely unable to figure out who he's going to end up with, which in turn has kept me engrossed. I really like your portrayal of both Hanako and Emi. True to character (in my opinion) while possessing their own unique quirks and traits so one would know at a glance that it's your portrayal of them and nobody else's. I'm really stoked to see where you're going to take this story.
By the time I had reached chapter 5 I knew I wanted to do something with the inspiration that had welled up in those 5 chapters alone. Problem, for me, is that I'm unsure where exactly to start with that. There has been so much happening every few chapters that it's nearly impossible to pin down a singular scene that conveys the story as a whole seeing as it's still in development and Hisao has yet to
officially choose who he's going to go with. I figured I could just stick around until the end and work off that, but truth be told I didn't want to wait.
So.
Seeing as there has been 3 interludes thus far, and with the last one in particular being a high-point in the story, I thought it would be best to do a short piece for each interlude and try and capture the emotion of what was happening around that time. Seeing as I'm
34 chapters late to the party I wanted to get right into it and roll with the inspiration garnered from the most recent interlude first. I'll go back and do the other two interludes when I've got the time.
Link:
Developments Pt. III (The Correspondent)
Hope you don't mind me borrowing both the route and interlude titles. If you do, I'll be more than happy to rename them accordingly.
Anyway, I based the piece above on the events at the end of Ch. 33 and the interlude itself. In my head I imagined a kind of time-lapse effect of Hisao about to confess to Emi, her bolting away and attempting to run in a desperate attempt to get a hold of herself and ending with her stumbling over and eventually being seen by Takako. I really do hope it's to your liking, man. Great job on the story thus far!
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