Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

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Blank Mage
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Blank Mage » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:05 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Emi - through great restraint as we learned in her PoV chapters - manged to keep their relationship on a normal level without burdening Hisao with her angst. This is where those efforts pay off.
I don't think he's actually blaming Hanako. He just describes his feelings when he is together with her, and when one is feeling awkward and tense around someone (and it's not just nerves) one would probably be right not to pursue a relationship.
Guest Poster wrote: The difference would be that Emi (her raging commitment issues notwithstanding) is generally confident and secure in herself as a person. Hanako...not so much. I get that Hisao's merely describing the way he feels, but given the fact that he and Hanako used to be relaxed around one another until Emi officially emerged as competition, he really should know that that tension is related to the situation at hand and not really due to Hanako being uneasy around him in general.
I think Mirage brings up a good point here, that Hisao may simply be stating facts. Looking back, Hisao only said "I wanted to tell you that I want-", which could mean anything, really. (He might want a can of coffee. Or another poster.) In Emi's PoV, and with the dramatic events surrounding the statement, we might be seeing this through a very misleading filter. In regards to the 'winner', I think while Emi is more fun to be around, he might not realize she has aforementioned raging commitment issues, and barrel right into her route proper, complete with casual flings without any emotional development, followed by awkward avoidance. Like Lilly, again.

So, since Dewelar has basically stated we're not getting the whole story here, I'm going to postpone further speculation until we get another chapter. (Get in there, Hanako! Now's your chance!.... I'm a horrible person.)
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Mahorfeus » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:45 pm

I think the difference is up until even now, Hisao doesn't really know Emi. He is not uncomfortable around her because she keeps her emotional baggage to herself - just like in the VN, she is not interested in dumping her burdens on someone else. On the contrary, she's doing everything she can to make Hisao happy without letting her discontent with their current situation seep into the mood. Unless her current issues come out into the open, I'd argue that her relationship with Hisao is even unhealthier than his one with Hanako, in which everything is more or less out in the open.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:56 pm

This is a bit difficult to say for certain, since in the VN we only have Hisao's PoV to go by, but the feeling I got was that while Emi probably found Hisao attractive and nice to be with in the beginning she only began to develop real feelings for him while they were already dating, and that's what made her keep him at a distance.
In this story she's already past that stage. She had romantic feelings for him at the beginning of the story and decided to pursue a relationship anyway.

Sure, his close call when she fell on him shook her up, but she knew about Hisao's condition before. She even took him to the nurse when he had an episode much worse than this in this very story, and it didn't make her question her feelings for him.

Yes, it is a problem that needs resolving, but it is certainly solveable, and I didn't expect dewelar to end this story on a version of "Emi, I choose you!" and roll credits. :lol:
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:58 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:"Emi, I choose you!" and roll credits. :lol:
Just got a terrible image in my head of Hisao throwing a pokeball and Emi flashes out of it. Shiver.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:59 pm

Mission accomplished :twisted:
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by dewelar » Tue Feb 04, 2014 5:26 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:This is a bit difficult to say for certain, since in the VN we only have Hisao's PoV to go by, but the feeling I got was that while Emi probably found Hisao attractive and nice to be with in the beginning she only began to develop real feelings for him while they were already dating, and that's what made her keep him at a distance. In this story she's already past that stage. She had romantic feelings for him at the beginning of the story and decided to pursue a relationship anyway.
To clarify, I would say her feelings for Hisao at the beginning of this story are approximately what they were around the time of "Dropping By".
Yes, it is a problem that needs resolving, but it is certainly solveable, and I didn't expect dewelar to end this story on a version of "Emi, I choose you!" and roll credits. :lol:
:roll: You're right, though. Hisao's decision isn't the only development this story is about, after all :wink: .
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Mahorfeus » Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:22 pm

Well, it's not like the story is called Arrested Developments... I don't expect to see the main characters all feeling like miserable failures by the end of this. Though I guess it could go like that. :(
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Deadpool021 » Tue Feb 04, 2014 11:37 pm

Things are so tense and Lily hasn't even arrived yet! I can't wait to see what Hisao will think/do now that Emi ran out of his room. My guess will be that he will think he messed up, like how he thinks of when Hanako came onto him. If he was going to choose Emi there he might even take a step back due to her reaction.

Great writing though man, you really know how to make people anticipate the next chapter :D

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by Flarezium » Wed Feb 12, 2014 2:01 pm

Hisao pauses for a second, and something is starting to itch in my head. "Heh, I used to be able to say the same thing about Hanako, but it seems like lately that's not true anymore. Every time I'm with her lately, there's this tension in the air, and things get...awkward. I feel like it's wearing me down a little more every time, and I don't know how much more I can handle. It's not like that with you."
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch 33 added 2/3/

Post by nemz » Wed Feb 12, 2014 8:52 pm

Damn it Hisao, this is not how harem comedy works. Get it together man. :mrgreen:
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

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Developments, Interlude 3: The Correspondent (Notes at End)

Post by dewelar » Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:41 am

Crimson has created a piece of music to reflect this interlude: The Correspondent. Please do him, and me, the honor of listening to it.

====

I come out of the auxiliary building with the night duty nurse – I haven't learned her name yet – but I don't accompany her beyond the top of the hill. Instead, I stand and watch as she makes her way down to the track toward the girl lying curled up on what I think is called the back stretch. I start to feel a little uncomfortable, but I did promise Ooe I would tell her anything that happened involving this girl.

The last time I was here, the scene I was watching made me smile. It was a pair of third-years, sharing a passionate kiss, the kind that I hope that I can share with the boy I love someday. It was just the kind of thing that Ooe always wants to know when it happens. Even though that sort of thing isn't supposed to get printed in the paper, she likes to be able to hold it over people's heads so they'll tell her things that they might not otherwise. It's all part of the reporting business, she says.

What I didn't know then was that the boy, whose name is Nakai, is someone that one of my fellow club members also likes. I've never actually talked to Ikezawa, but I've heard a lot of funny things about her. Of course, I don't believe any of it. That was the first thing Ooe told me when I joined the newspaper club: don't believe anything you hear from the rumor mill without checking it yourself.

The second thing she told me was that if I saw something interesting, I should call her immediately, so when I happened to be walking by the track that day, that's exactly what I did. I was very proud to have gotten my first "scoop." Ooe told me to keep a close eye on things, and to call her if anything else happened. Ever since then, I've been watching Ibarazaki – that's the girl's name – waiting for something to happen like today. At first nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but about an hour ago she came out of the boys' dorm crying, and a few minutes later she was making a beeline for the track.

I watched her for a while, but I could tell something was wrong. Ibarazaki's a track star, and at the last track meet of the year I watched her win every race she was in. It was awe-inspiring how easily she ran that day, like she was born to do it. This time, it wasn't like that at all. She looked like she was straining with every step, but she kept going faster and faster, and then she collapsed.

The first thing that went through my mind was what I'd told Ooe. I started to wonder if maybe what I'd said had gone from Ooe to Ikezawa, and maybe even led to what happened today. As I'm watching this scene continue to play out in front of me, I wonder, what if it was my reporting that led to Ibarazaki getting hurt?

I also remember another thing Ooe told me when I joined the club: that sometimes, people are going to get hurt by what gets printed in the newspaper. You can't worry about whether what you write gets someone into trouble, or makes someone cry, because your responsibility as a journalist is to print the truth, no matter what might happen because of it. If that's my guide, I should be calling this in to Ooe and Inoue, and if it gets into the paper, so be it. I was okay with that when it was just about kissing in public, but this feels...different. I know for a fact that this isn't something that Ibarazaki would want anyone to know, and that's something I feel like I have to respect.

See, Ibarazaki isn't just another girl to me, really. I guess you could say she's my idol. Watching the night nurse carrying her back up this way, I quickly duck behind the bleachers. I watch through the spaces between, and look at the running blades she's wearing.

Then, I look down at my own prosthetic right leg that I got two years ago, and decide that maybe I didn't see anything tonight after all.

Keep on running, Ibarazaki...

~~~~

Previous | Next

====

Notes:

Okay, so, Chapter 34 is giving me fits. I may have to rewrite it from scratch at this point, but either way it'll be at least a few more days until it's posted. To tide everyone over, here's a little piece I banged out in about an hour and a half just now.
Last edited by dewelar on Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:45 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Interlude 3, 2/1

Post by Blank Mage » Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:35 pm

That's.... A pretty destructive attitude, actually. Yamaku has strong unwritten rules against prying for information, and reporting any and all gossip to the head of the paper seems blatantly mean spirited. Or it would, but coming from her perspective, it doesn't seem like she truly grasps the impact that info might have on people as emotionally fragile as Hanako and Emi. Looking forward to your next chapter, as always!
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Interlude 3, 2/1

Post by cake307 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:10 pm

Blank Mage wrote:That's.... A pretty destructive attitude, actually. Yamaku has strong unwritten rules against prying for information, and reporting any and all gossip to the head of the paper seems blatantly mean spirited. Or it would, but coming from her perspective, it doesn't seem like she truly grasps the impact that info might have on people as emotionally fragile as Hanako and Emi. Looking forward to your next chapter, as always!
Or people as easily confused and unable to make up their mind as Hisao? We already know that the kiss thing was reported, then used by the head of the newspaper club against Hisao, it happened a few chapters ago. It clearly screwed up his relationship with Hanako, possibly sinking it, but even more what it accomplished was making Hisao feel like crap about himself and causing him to maybe withdraw in general. Anyways, good on her for at least knowing that some things shouldn't be spread. Good luck with the next chapter, it's worth the wait if it's even half of your normal quality.

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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Interlude 3, 2/1

Post by dewelar » Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:40 pm

Just to clear up any possible confusion: This chapter is meant to be from the PoV of Takako Hamaguchi, a/k/a "Taka-Taka". In this fic, Naomi is the newspaper club president/editor, while Natsume is the vice-president/head reporter. Also, I have found that Natsume's attitude (as presented by Takako, anyway) toward journalism is not an uncommon one.
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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Interlude 3, 2/1

Post by Blank Mage » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:34 pm

dewelar wrote:Just to clear up any possible confusion: This chapter is meant to be from the PoV of Takako Hamaguchi, a/k/a "Taka-Taka". In this fic, Naomi is the newspaper club president/editor, while Natsume is the vice-president/head reporter. Also, I have found that Natsume's attitude (as presented by Takako, anyway) toward journalism is not an uncommon one.
Sorry, I didn't remember her name and I was too lazy to go back and check. It's admirable that she feels a responsibility to report the truth, and that's great when you're trying to expose wrongdoing or clear the name of someone being misrepresented, but in the school newspaper, there isn't anything of the sort. Natsume's goals may be noble, but there aren't any dragons to slay around here, and she might end up legitimately causing severe emotional damage in her efforts to get a big story. She doesn't seem like a bad person, but she might not realize what does or does not constitute sensitive information. For example, she might have easily outed Hisao's condition, without knowing the havoc that would cause for him. Even a minor "Hisao and Lilly are going out" article may have forced them into a situation where breaking up would become a public spectacle.

That might be a good idea for a character arc, come to think of it; wherein Natsume goes too far and unintentionally humiliates a student (say, Hanako), causing them to withdraw socially or even leave Yamaku completely, giving her a "What-Have-I-Done" moment.
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"I think you just did."
"No, I really, truly haven't."

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