Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

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dewelar
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Developments, Chapter 6

Post by dewelar » Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:08 pm

I'm already awake when my alarm goes off on the last full day of classes. I woke with a start sometime around 3 AM, but never got back to sleep. Still, I'd been trying to relax for a while, so the alarm still gave me a jolt. I down my medication and make my way to the shower early in an attempt to avoid Kenji.

The past couple of days, I've felt like I was swimming through molasses. When I haven't been in class or eating lunch on the roof with Emi and Rin, I've been spending most of my time reading in my dorm room. Some of that has been spent going over the college materials I got from Mutou. I'm still pretty convinced that I'll be going into the sciences at university, but the idea of teaching doesn't quite appeal to me as much as it did a couple weeks ago.

I've been continuing to avoid going to the library, or the tea room. Shizune would probably call me a coward, and with good reason. Still, I want to know exactly what I'm going to say when I talk to Lilly, or Hanako for that matter. Actually, it hasn't been that hard at all to avoid them. Lilly's been wrapped up with paperwork, and Hanako's been busy with the newspaper club. All I've had to do is go back to my dorm after class, and I've been free and clear.

Tanabata was particularly difficult. I had promised to take Lilly, back when we were just starting out. I'd been looking forward to seeing what kind of yukata she might have worn, and whether or not Hanako might decide to join us. Instead, other than lunch, I spent the day in the dorm, interrupted only by Kenji congratulating me on my wisdom in not going out. Of course, that meant that I was wrapped up in thoughts of my last conversation with Lilly.

Was there something else I could have said that day? Was there something I could have done differently? She said she'd known she was leaving for "some time", but how long? If she'd known since she'd gotten the summons, that means she knew even before we went to Hokkaido, even before she confessed to me. Could it be that the whole relationship was just meant as one last fling before she left for her new life? Just one last good memory of this place?

Tomorrow is the last day of classes, and tomorrow night Lilly leaves Yamaku for good. Shortly thereafter, Hanako is going to be leaving as well, traveling around Japan.

As for me...well, when Lilly first told me she was leaving, I seriously considered just going home. After thinking about it, though, I realized that that would be too much like giving up. My life has changed a lot since I've been here, and I really don't want to go back to my old life.

Emi was right about one thing: if I went home, I'd lapse into bad habits. That's why I want to really try and be her running partner again. At least I'll have something to focus on. She's tried to help me on several occasions, and I've just pushed her aside. So on Sunday morning, I'll be out on that track.

The following week, Shizune and Misha will be back, too. I remember Shizune saying that the Student Council often has extra work, especially toward the end of the break. I kind of feel like I owe her a little, too, for helping me out during my first days here. I may not want to join the Student Council, but it wouldn't hurt me to help them out, even if it is just to keep me busy.

For now, though, I still have today and tomorrow to get through. I come back to my room, get dressed, and have a quick breakfast before heading down to class.

The morning classes pass pretty quietly. As I get up and head toward the door, I see Misha preparing to follow me. However, Shizune grabs her cuff before she can get very far and signs something. I vaguely hear a disappointed "Awwww" escape Misha's lips as I exit the classroom.

As has become the norm this week, I head up to the roof to have lunch with Emi and Rin. It just now strikes me that this might be the last time I can do this for a while. Emi lives in the city and won't be staying at school, and...well, I honestly don't know what Rin's plans are. If I wasn't planning to join Emi at the track, I might not see either of them until after the break.

When I get to the roof, both of them are already there. I knew they would be, as I'd already told them I'd buy their lunches in honor of the occasion. I pass out what I'd bought, and as usual Emi digs in quickly while Rin eats more slowly. Once I've finished, I decide to go ahead and dive into the mine field.

"So, Rin, what are you planning to do over the break?" Rin, who had been glancing up at the sky, looks at me for a moment and then shrugs. "Well, do you at least know whether you'll be staying at Yamaku?"

Rin stares at...something behind me, I think. "You're trying to get me to predict the future again. It won't work. It never does. Every time I think I can predict the future, there it is the future already, and all I was predicting was that I could. Predict it. And I hadn't."

Emi, having also finished, chimes in. "Yeah, she's staying here. At least, if this year is anything like the last two."

Rin closes her eyes and takes a sip from her drink box. "Easy for you to say. You have plans for your future."

"Huh?" Emi looks almost shocked at Rin's pronouncement.

Admittedly, I have no idea what Emi's plans for the future might be. For that matter, my own are a little hazy right now, and knowing someone else's might help. "What kind of plans, Emi?"

"Yeah, Rin, what kind of plans do I have?"

"She's going to be a pirate."

Emi looks flabbergasted, and I'm not far behind. "A...pirate? Well, you have been known to snitch my bread now and then..."

This earns me a playful shove from Emi. "Ass. Actually, she's talking about that career survey we did a while back. When they asked what I was going to do after high school, I put down pirate."

I can't help but laugh at this. "Pirate, huh? Is there a lot of call for that these days?"

Emi shrugs, grinning. "I just figured I had a head start, what with the legs and all. So what did you put?"

I have to think, because it had been a while. "I think I just put down that I wasn't sure. I'd just transferred in, and I really hadn't had time to think about it yet."

Emi gives me a mock-serious look. "Oh, that's not good, Hisao," she says, shaking her head. "You do know this kind of thing goes on your record. Now you're marked for life as a directionless loser, doomed to roam Japan as something horrible, like a garbageman or a tax collector."

I gasp in my best imitation of horror. "Oh! Whatever shall I do now! Perhaps I can run off and join some pirate crew somewhere, and earn a good, dishonest living!"

Emi gets up, affecting what sounds like a pirate voice from a movie, if said pirate had recently inhaled a whole balloon's worth of helium, and begins strutting back and forth on the rooftop. "If yer gonna be on my crew, ye scalawag, ye'll have to be shapin' up! Four laps, ‘round the deck!" She stops and turns back to me. "See, I've been working on the voice and everything!"

Both of us break out in laughter at this, and Emi sits back down next to me. I glance over, and I'm struck for a moment by the sight of her, her head thrown back and rocking with laughter, seemingly without a care. I envy her that, just a bit, given my own current floundering state. I also find it...oddly fascinating, like I could forget how lousy I've been feeling if I look hard enough.

Emi has sensed the shift in my mood, and she turns to look at me. "Are you okay, Hisao? You kinda spaced out there."

Rin has wandered off to another corner of the rooftop, watching a butterfly fluttering along the fence, so it's just the two of us over here now. I turn away quickly, as I could feel my cheeks reddening a bit. "Oh, well, I was just thinking of everything that's been going on lately."

"You mean about Lilly." I nod in response. "Have you gotten anywhere with that?"

I lean back against the wall, sighing. "I think I'm starting to understand some things about why this happened, at least. Given the way we left each other, I really don't think there's any point in trying to change her mind now. That doesn't make getting over her any easier, of course."

"No, I guess not."

I sigh heavily. "And then there's Hanako."

Emi straightens up and turns to me, a look of concern on her face. "Oh, right! Lilly's, like, the only person she hangs out with at Yamaku. Well, except for you, I guess."

"Yeah, we've actually gotten pretty close, too, I think."

Emi gets a strange grin on her face. "Wait a second, Hisao. You're not telling me that…"

I scramble to stop her from going down the path I think she's about to travel. "No! No! Nothing like that! Just…we've gotten to be pretty good friends."

Emi winks at me, continuing to grin. "I was just teasing, Hisao. Still, when the three of you first started hanging out in the tea room together, there were some pretty scandalous rumors about the three of you going around."

I goggle at her in response. "You're not serious!"

She laughs again. "There are a lot of people in this school who don't have a lot to do but talk. They come up with all kinds of weird ideas about things, and they spread like wildfire. It's kind of amazing to watch sometimes."

I think for a moment of some of the theories Kenji dreams up, and wonder if this is the same kind of thing. The whole idea makes me shudder. "Well, far be it from me to deprive the rumor mill of its juicy story, but between you and me, even if I wanted to try something like that, I don't think I could handle it."

"Not man enough to handle two girls at once, huh?" Emi has a twinkle in her eye as she says this, but for me, this is kind of serious business, so I glare at her a bit. She backs down apologetically. "Sorry, sorry! Just trying to cheer you up a little!"

I raise an eyebrow and soften my gaze. "No, it's okay, just..." For some reason, I hesitate again to tell Emi about my heart, so I dodge the subject. "I just don't know how Hanako's going to handle Lilly leaving, and I don't know how to talk to her without getting myself all twisted up about it, you know?"

Emi looks at me, surprised. "Are you saying you haven't even talked to Hanako about this?"

I realize now how bad that sounds. No topic is safe, I guess. "Well, I've been trying to come up with the best way to approach things. One thing I can't afford is to get into some kind of argument, with either of them."

"Can't afford? What does that mean?"

Dodge one landmine, step on another. Well, I suppose it might as well come out now. I don't want this to be a surprise on Sunday morning, and really I still don't know why I keep avoiding the subject. "It's...about why I'm here at Yamaku. I have...a weak heart. Arrhythmia. A few months before coming here, I had a heart attack, and if I get too stressed or my system gets jolted, it's possible I could have another. The way it's been acting the last few weeks, I'm afraid the stress of a fight like that might trigger an attack."

Emi's eyes widen. "Seriously?" I nod in response, and she purses her lips, squinting slightly like I've noticed she does when she's thinking. "So, is that why the nurse wanted you to run with me?"

"Pretty much. I think he's hoping that if I can get myself in better shape, it'll take more to throw it out of rhythm. Maybe someday it'll get to the point where I don't feel like any misstep I take could...well, you know."

"Yeah..." Emi looks oddly sad for a moment. However, she collects herself quickly. "Well, that just means I'm going to be keeping an even closer eye on you, you know!"

Somehow, the thought of Emi keeping an eye on me is comforting. "Actually, I'm surprised Rin hasn't told you. She's known since the first week I was here."

Emi glances over at Rin, a mischievous look in her eye. "Oh, has she? Hey, Rin!" Rin cocks her head, looking back in our direction. "Why didn't you tell me about Hisao's..." she glances at me before continuing, "...condition?"

Rin starts wandering back over. "I didn't think it was that interesting."

I smile at her. "I appreciate your keeping my confidence, Rin."

Rin shrugs. "Okay."

Emi glares at both of us, but especially at me. "Hey! Why are you taking her side?"

"Because I didn't want everybody to know. Besides, when she found out, she didn't even know we knew each other."

Emi thinks for a moment. "Hmmm...if you say so. But it's still no excuse for not telling me before, and it's still no excuse for taking her side. You're both jerks." She closes her eyes and nods with a sense of finality. As if the universe agrees with her, the lunch bell rings. Emi and Rin are soon off down the stairs, but not before Emi says "Sunday morning at the track, Hisao! Don't forget!"

As the door closes behind them and I get up from the bench, I know that I am definitely going to miss this over the next few weeks.

~~~~

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Last edited by dewelar on Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

RedRover
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 6 up 8/16]

Post by RedRover » Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:33 pm

BAD EMI. HISAO IS GOING TO BE WITH HANAKO AFTER THIS AND THAT'S FINAL.

Lawl, just kidding. I enjoyed this chapter. I think you did a good job with Rin, and if there were any typos (or whatever you kids call them) I didn't notice. Good job. :)
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 6 up 8/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Aug 17, 2013 3:37 am

I passed out what I'd bought, and as usual Emi dug in quickly while Rin ate more slowly.
One past tense sentence slipping in...

Otherwise, I agree with each chapter getting better than the last. You've got Hisao and Emi down pat, but your Rin is a bit... off.
Her factoring in nurse's intention doesn't seem very Rin-like and the "didn't do it for you" is almost like a justification. Rin doesn't do justifications.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 6 up 8/16]

Post by Lost In The Fire » Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:47 am

Heh.
I really liked how you worked the Emi is a pirate part of her route into this. That made my day.
Enjoyable chapter over all.
Some one-shots.
He Didn't Listen - Hanako Bad End
Observations - OC POV
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 6 up 8/16]

Post by dewelar » Sat Aug 17, 2013 10:54 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I passed out what I'd bought, and as usual Emi dug in quickly while Rin ate more slowly.
One past tense sentence slipping in...

Otherwise, I agree with each chapter getting better than the last. You've got Hisao and Emi down pat, but your Rin is a bit... off.
Her factoring in nurse's intention doesn't seem very Rin-like and the "didn't do it for you" is almost like a justification. Rin doesn't do justifications.
Fixed, and fixed, I think (I just cut those bits out entirely - I don't think the chapter loses anything for it). I wrote about half of this chapter at 2 AM yesterday morning, so that might explain my difficulty in getting into my Rin-Space :) .
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Developments, Chapter 7 (Notes at end)

Post by dewelar » Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:45 am

Hisao and I watch the quickly fading tail lights of Akira's car as it drives away from the gate. One last time, I call out "Goodbye...Lilly." Then, I can feel Hisao's hand on my shoulder. For a while, neither of us says anything. We just watch as a very important part of both of our lives departs. I know we'll keep in touch, and I know that someday, we'll all meet again, but by then, all of our lives are likely to be very different.

It had been a long three days since Lilly told me we wouldn't be able to go to the city together. Even though she didn't have what she needed from the Student Council, Lilly had still been busy with other work, and I'd promised Naomi to do extra at the newspaper club. We'd been able to keep having lunch in the tea room, and last night we had one last tea party in Lilly's room. Still, it felt like there was a cloud over everything, and I felt helpless to disperse it.

Hisao and I remain silent as we walk back through the front gate. At first, the two of us move in the direction of the dorms, as he's likely feeling as tired as I do. Still, I feel as though I need to break this silence, as he doesn't seem inclined to do. I've been letting him hide all week, but now that Lilly's gone he has no excuse to hide any more.

Unless he really was just being kind to me for Lilly's sake.

While I can't say I feel confident, I speak up. "H-Hisao?"

My voice is a whisper, and I'm not sure he heard me, because he doesn't stop walking. With as much strength as I can muster in my voice, I call again. "Hisao?"

This time, he stops. He turns to look at me over his shoulder, and I can see he looks very tired. "Hanako, I know I promised to talk to you soon, and I've been doing nothing but avoiding you all week. But, maybe now isn't..."

"Please...I th-think we both n-need to talk."

He turns around, a look of surprise on his face, followed by resignation. "You're right, Hanako. I owe you that much, at least. Just...not here, okay?"

I nod. "Agreed."

He starts walking again, but in a different direction. I follow closely behind, having an idea where he's going but not wanting to lose him in the darkness. As I expected, we end up at the tables behind the school, where the three of us sat to watch the fireworks at the school festival shortly after Hisao's arrival. He sits on one of the benches, leaning back against the table, and lets out a long breath. I sit down a few feet away from him.

"Honestly, I'm still not really sure what to say, other than I'm sorry."

I nod slightly. "I...know. M-maybe if you just t-told me what happened on S-Sunday..."

He looks at me questioningly. "Didn't Lilly tell you the whole story?" There's a hint of bitterness in his voice as he says it. I should have expected that.

"Y-yes, but...I want to h-hear how you say it happened."

Hisao's eyes widen slightly, searching mine curiously. I fight not to tear my gaze from his, because I need to hear the story from his perspective. There are always at least two sides to every story, in my books, or in real life. "I admit, that...wasn't the response I expected. Okay, then. I'll tell you."

He shifts uncomfortably as I wait for him to begin. I can sense that he's fighting himself as well. "It had been a few days since Akira told me about the summons, but I hadn't told Lilly I knew. I...wanted to give her every chance in the world to tell me first, but once we were alone together, I knew I didn't want it to be hanging over our heads any longer."

He looks away from me, staring into space as he continues. "We sat for a while at the Shanghai, drying off from the rain and chatting. I still hoped she might say something before I could, but it was no use. After a while, I told her I'd spoken to Akira. She continued to try and dodge the subject, but she obviously knew what that meant, so she filled in the details. She said she hadn't told me because she'd wanted to be sure of her decision. She..."

Hisao's voice wavers a bit. "She wouldn't tell me straight out. It was...like every other time I'd asked about her future lately, evasive and frustrating. When I figured out that she'd decided to go, I asked her how long she'd known that was her decision, and she said "some time." I guess, at that point, I didn't even care how much time "some time" meant, because that's not the kind of thing you say if you've just made up your mind, is it?"

Hisao's voice had started to rise, and he stops there, looking at me for confirmation. I'm not sure how to respond, so I look away briefly. I can hear Hisao taking deep breaths, trying to steady himself, and I briefly worry that he's worked himself up too much. I look back, and he must see the concern in my eyes.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm fine." His voice is considerably calmer, and he continues his story. "I...got pretty angry then. I tried not to let it blow up, but I just couldn't understand why she'd hide it from me...or rather, I could understand, but never thought she would do something like that."

He looks down at the ground, and now his voice is low, with more than a hint of sadness. "She said something about trying a long-distance relationship, but I think we both knew it wouldn't work. I asked her when she was leaving, and she told me."

I can't see Hisao's face very well, but he lets out another sigh, sounding defeated. "After that...I just couldn't bring myself to say anything more. What else could I say? It was over, we'd both admitted as much. So...I just sat there, staring at my cup of tea, for a while. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. The only thing I remember was that at some point, Lilly said she was sorry, and that when I finally got up the strength to leave, she had already left."

Hisao leans back against the table again and casts a brief glance in my direction. "Ever since then, I've been replaying things over and over in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. I...came up with a few ideas, but nothing that would help things now."

I wait for a moment to see if he's going to say anything else. When he doesn't, I ask him, "W-what ideas?"

Looking at me again, he seems sincerely surprised by the question. "Well, I...knew she was being evasive about the future after the trip to Scotland. I thought maybe I should have tried to talk to her about it more, try and bring it out of her, maybe help her make the decision if she really hadn't made it." He hesitates for a moment. "I guess once we'd confessed to each other, I'd been complacent, enjoying what we had, and not wanting to make waves. Maybe I should have."

I nod, unsure myself what to say next. He felt like I did, that we both should have seen the signs. Maybe...the fact that neither of us did meant it wasn't so bad? I want to tell him some of the things Lilly told me, but I don't want to break her trust. Still, it might be the only way to help make things better between the two of them.

"L-lilly said that she w-wished you had f-fought harder."

Or at all.

He laughs a little, sadly. "What good would it have done if I had? Would it have changed her mind? Or would it maybe have just given her an excuse to get angry with me and feel better about leaving?"

I've never heard Hisao sound so bitter before. I don't think he's right, but...part of me understands why he can say that. "I don't w-want to speak for Lilly. I j-just think things m-might have been different if y-you had been m-more honest with each other."

Hisao sighs and shakes his head. "I've thought about that myself. I know there were times when I could have been more open about how I was feeling, but I...guess I just wasn't ready to do that. Everything was just moving so quickly, and I was still finding my way. I just didn't want to lay all my burdens on her."

There. So much like what Lilly said about why she wouldn't tell us about the decision she had to make. A thought strikes me, and I ask "If you could g-go back...w-would you do things d-differently?"

"I..." He stops before saying anything beyond that, then looks down at the ground. "I don't know. I don't think so, though. If I had done anything differently, maybe we wouldn't have had the time we did."

It's the answer I expected, I guess. Neither of them was willing to risk what they had for the possibility that things would have been better. It's maddening...but understandable. I'm not sure I could have done any differently either.

Other than listen to myself.

"So...n-now what?"

He turns to me again, saying "Honestly, I think it's just time to move forward. In the end, I think maybe we're both better off this way. It's something we said to each other a few times – we were two kids pretending we were adults. Now, Lilly won't have to worry about me anymore, won't have me depending on her anymore."

Hisao, you and I have more in common than you might think.

Hisao straightens up, looking at me with a small smile. "At least I got to say a proper goodbye to her this afternoon."

This afternoon? That's right, they came back to the dorm together...I'd almost forgotten that in the middle of everything.

Before I can ask what he means, Hisao stands up, like he's said all he needs to say. "I'm just sorry about what this is doing to all of us."

"S-so am I, Hisao. I think...what we both need r-right now is...a friend."

Hisao looks over at me, but his expression is hard to read. I stand up and face him, my hand instinctively reaching to my hair, making sure it's in place.

Maybe there IS something I can do to help. But...can I?

I take a couple of tentative steps toward Hisao, and he turns to face me directly as well. I take a couple more steps, to within just a few feet, and then...I...freeze for a moment.

Why does this feel so strange?

Because the only time I've done this since I came here is with Lilly. Now...with Hisao...it feels different. He's my friend, I know. But somewhere inside, I've wanted him to be more...for a long, long time.

On the nights I don't wake up crying from the nightmares, sometimes...this is what I feel in my dreams. I could never tell Lilly, or Hisao, or even my therapist, about those dreams. I know...normal people dream about so much more than this. It's something that most people think of as being so easy, that many people just do WITHOUT thinking, but for me...

...it's like trying to jump across the Tsugaru Strait.

What if he rejects me? He's going to be able to feel my scarring...what if he pushes me away because he can't bear how it feels? Or, maybe even worse, what if it feels like it used to feel at the orphanage, when all I could feel was cold.


"Hanako?"

His voice. Gentle...sincere...and a little nervous. It sounds like that in my dreams sometimes, too. Maybe...maybe if I just pretend that's where I am.

Slowly, I take another step...

Maybe there's something I've got to go do...

...and reach out with my left hand...

The main building isn't that far away, I could probably run there...

Hisao doesn't move...perhaps he's unsure of what to do, too.

He's never been anything but patient with me. I need to show him that I can help him through this, too.

I place my left hand on his shoulder...and my right hand under his other arm...and I pull myself the rest of the way to him so that I can gently put my chin on his other shoulder.

"I-it's going to b-be okay, Hisao."

Hisao, freed from his own moment of indecision, slowly brings his own arms around my back and returns my embrace.

"W-we're going to be okay."

It feels...natural, despite the uneven sensation due to my scarring. And warm. And...comfortable. Why did I think this would be so hard? Somewhere, in the deep background, there's a...tingling sensation, too. It's not unpleasant...in fact, it might be adding to the warmth...something else...

"I know, Hanako."

As he says this, I can feel his breathing change. He's drawn me in even closer, so that our whole bodies are in contact, and I feel...something wet on my left cheek.

He's...crying?

That's what was going to make this hard.


When I realize that Hisao is crying, I can't hold my own emotions in any longer, either. Tears flow down my cheeks, forming a wet patch on the shoulder of Hisao's uniform jacket. For some odd reason, I wonder again why I'm not running into the nearby building.

Because I don't care how this looks any more. It feels...safe here. Hisao needed this release, and so did I. We're both going to miss Lilly, but we know that we've got each other to help.

I'm not sure how long we remain like that, holding each other, supporting each other. I do know that by the time we pull apart a bit, both of us have stopped crying.

"Thank you," he says, "for finally making me do this." Hisao reaches up and brushes my fringe aside just enough to give me a gentle kiss on my forehead. The tingling I felt earlier feels more like an electric shock when he does. I try to look him in the eyes, but my moment of bravery is gone, like the breezes of spring.

I step back and look off toward the buildings to my left. "You're w-welcome. We should p-probably get back to the dorm. It's getting l-late."

Hisao turns around, following my gaze. "Yeah. I know I could use some sleep. Not sure how much I'll get, but I need to try. Got to get up early tomorrow."

I wonder why Hisao has to get up early, but am too tired to handle any more conversation tonight. Hisao walks me back to my dorm.

"Good night, Hanako."

"G-good night."

I watch him walk away until he disappears from view, then make my way up to my room.

It's not exactly like it had been in my dreams, but it's a beginning.

When I get to my room, I wash my face and change into my nightgown. As I climb into bed, I look at the shelf above it, at the presents Hisao and Lilly gave me a few weeks ago. I run my hand over the doll and the bear, thinking about what happened tonight.

I thought that Lilly leaving would make me feel a lot worse than I feel right now. I feel sad, of course, but also...oddly hopeful. I think it's because I feel like I gained something important tonight, too. That thought is enough to get me to sleep properly for the first time since this all started.

~~~~

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====

NOTES:

So, we finally get beyond what happens in the game here. This is the chapter about which I've been the most nervous, for reasons that should be clear from the content. I'm going to be very interested in what people think of this one, good or bad.

Okay, so, the last time I said it would be a while before I posted anything new, I wrote half a chapter in an hour at 2 AM. Don't expect that to happen again :) . Due to some changes I made to the story as I've written it, Chapter 8 is going to need a substantial rewrite.

Anyway, hope you all continue to enjoy this as much as I'm continuing to enjoy writing it.
Last edited by dewelar on Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Oscar Wildecat
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Sun Aug 18, 2013 12:52 pm

Anyway, hope you all continue to enjoy this as much as I'm continuing to enjoy writing it.
Yep. Two paws up!
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Aug 18, 2013 1:39 pm

It doesn't happen often that a story I had such misgivings about after the first chapter turns into something like this.
Nothing at all to complain about in this chapter. Your Hanako is great!

I'm curious for the next chapter. In this story I don't have the feeling that Hisao would feel compelled to run after Lilly and get a second heart attack.
There's not one but two points of divergence: First his promise to go running with Emi and second his talk with Hanako.
Both show that he is more willing to look to the future than he was in the VN - which of the two will be the decisive has to be seen...
It's all just speculation on my part anyway. Let's see what you have in store for us.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Lost In The Fire » Sun Aug 18, 2013 3:39 pm

This was probably the fastest I devoured one of your chapters.
Like Mirage said, your portrayal of Hanako is great and I thought that her being the one to confront Hisao and getting him to open up really showed that while a lot of her improvement seen in Lilly's route was for the benefit of Lilly and Hisao, she has still grown as a person.
Some one-shots.
He Didn't Listen - Hanako Bad End
Observations - OC POV
Mmmmm'yep.

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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Etokie » Sun Aug 18, 2013 4:32 pm

No No No No, don't do this to me. Not when i finally thought. wait, you said... PLEASE YES CONTINUE. If you are doing what i think you are doing, then i love you forever. GOOD WORK
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Mahorfeus » Sun Aug 18, 2013 6:04 pm

You're really picking up a lot of momentum here with these chapters, dewelar.

Looking forward to the next one!
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The verdict is (finally) in:
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by dewelar » Mon Aug 19, 2013 11:25 am

Thanks everyone. I'm glad this particular chapter seems to have been well-received, especially how Hanako has turned out.
Etokie wrote:No No No No, don't do this to me. Not when i finally thought. wait, you said... PLEASE YES CONTINUE. If you are doing what i think you are doing, then i love you forever. GOOD WORK
Not quite sure how to interpret this one, Etokie :) . I'll just respond with "wait and see" for now, and hope that you enjoy the rest of the story whether or not it meets your expectations.

I am hopeful that I can have the next one done within the next day or two, but am having a bit of a tussle with it at present. Beyond Chapter 8, I've got little more than outline, and a lot of that outline is now outdated because the story led me places I didn't expect when it started.

This story has often felt more like it's writing itself rather than me writing it. It's an odd feeling, but a cool one.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Etokie » Mon Aug 19, 2013 4:25 pm

I was just kinda hoping you would turn this into an Emi route, or a Harem route, or a Lilly comes back and still loves Hisao but he is in love with Hanako/Emi route, rather than the standard; Hanako is mai waifu, lets take Lilly bad end and turn it into Hanako route.
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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by dewelar » Mon Aug 19, 2013 4:49 pm

Etokie wrote:I was just kinda hoping you would turn this into an Emi route, or a Harem route, or a Lilly comes back and still loves Hisao but he is in love with Hanako/Emi route, rather than the standard; Hanako is mai waifu, lets take Lilly bad end and turn it into Hanako route.
*nods* All I can say is that there's a lot of story still to come, fate willing. Any more than that would be telling ;) .
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Developments (Lilly Bad End Continuation) [Ch 7 up 8/18]

Post by Carighan » Tue Aug 20, 2013 8:43 am

It's actually an Emi x Hanako story? :D
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