Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

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motokid108
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Nine, 3/7)

Post by motokid108 » Sat Mar 15, 2014 12:07 am

I love this story. Looking forward to the continuation
Hanako≥Shizune>Lily>Natsume>Miki>Yuuko>Emi

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Acik
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Nine, 3/7)

Post by Acik » Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:32 pm

motokid108 wrote:I love this story. Looking forward to the continuation
As always, appreciate the support.

Just wanted to check in since it has been a little while. To anyone who is following this story I assure you am I still working on it. The semester is winding down for me and Waiting is coming back to the forefront of my attention. The last bits of Act One are coming into place and hopefully shouldn't take too much longer to complete.

Anyway, back to studying, practicing, transcribing...someone wake me up two weeks from now please?
Wrote a story, here it is: Waiting
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Nine, 3/7)

Post by Draganada » Fri Apr 25, 2014 3:16 am

I love this story and all its characters. Haven't been this invested since the original VN. Please keep it up!
Rika > Lilly > Hanako > Akira > Shizune/Misha > Emi/Rin

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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Acik » Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:26 pm

Chapter Ten: The Calm

Never shop hungry. That's what they say, right?

Glancing down at my basket full of candy and not so healthy snacks I think I might understand the danger. Then again, whoever came up with that probably didn't have to suffer Yamaku's lunch menu. Any reprieve from that is worth a few extra pounds.

And the extra money. Can't forget that.

I quickly count the contents of my basket, making sure I can even afford everything I have picked out. It's close. If I get everything I won't have much left over for the rest of the week. What if Kiyomi wants to play a bunch of games or something? Does she expect me to pay? I mean, that's what a guy on a date would do.

God dammit.

So many things are dependent on whatever the hell tomorrow is. It was annoying before, but now it's interfering with my ability to buy unhealthy snacks. That's crossing the line.

Sighing, I place several items back on the shelf. Who needs double chocolate muffins, anyway? My stomach rumbles in protest.

Calm down, you will get something soon enough. Just...not any of that...

Maybe just one box-

BZZZ

My phone vibrates in my pocket, interrupting my moment of weakness. Or moment of triumph. Depends on how you look at it. Jury's still out.

I fish it out and check the fresh message. Eguchi, brilliant.

[Yuuma, our normal space isn’t available today. Can you meet me in front of the school?]

I check the time. Fifteen minutes until our time begins.

[I’m in town right now, might be a little late.] I key into the phone.

Placing the phone back into my pocket I head to the register. I suppose what I have will do, for now. Having a bit of extra pocket change for tomorrow couldn't hurt.

My phone vibrates once more as I finish paying.

[Well, if you would like we can meet in town again. See you back at the park?]

Well, I am already here.

[Fine, see you there.]

I have just enough time to savor some unhealthy goodness. I make for the nearest bench and tear into the contents of my shopping bag. I don't know who first thought of mixing chocolate with peanut butter, but that man deserves a parade. At the very least a medal.

Five minutes later, several wrappers litter the seat next to me. So much for making it last.

I rise and carry the rest of my purchase toward the park. My mind begins to wander back to Kiyomi and what tomorrow might bring. Downtime, you and I don't get along right now. Not when it gives my mind time to dwell on things I have absolutely no control over. I wish it was just over already. Just so I know where everything stands. The waiting kills.

But what if nothing happens? What if it is a completely normal evening? Normal being a relative term, I suppose. That might be worse. It's either a date or it's not. If it's not, that raises more questions. It isn't too out of the ordinary for her to gravitate to the only familiar person she knows here. But it's all just too odd. If it's completely innocent, then something else is off.

I shake my head. Circles. Always circles.

I quickly find the tree where we had lessons the other day and practically collapse onto it. I close my eyes. Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking-

“Stop thinking, stop thinking...” I mutter.

I open my eyes and stare up through the branches. Sunlight shines through the leaves, casting shadows all around me. A few birds hop from limb to limb, chirping idly. I let out a deep breath. This actually sort of works. How about tha-

A large blob of bird excrement lands inches from my hand.

I quickly pull my hand away and rise. Looking back up at the tree, I give the birds the bird. “Back at you, you disease ridden pieces of-”

“Healthy, Yuuma. Real healthy.”

Jumping slightly, I look back down. “They nearly shat on me.”

Eguchi cocks an eyebrow. “So, you thought the most reasonable course of action was to give them the finger and yell at them?”

“Yeah, seems reasonable to me.”

She sighs and gracefully sits down in the shade. “Your mental health therapist might disagree.”

I roll my eyes and plop down across from her. “You can just say therapist.”

“Ah, but there are many types of therapists.” She says as she snaps her fingers. “Much like myself.”

“Still sore about that 'real therapist' comment?”

“I'm sure I have no idea of what you mean. That doesn't sound like something a pleasant and upstanding young man such as yourself would say.”

She is packing some extra sass today. Must not have been a pleasant day.

After a few minutes of her shuffling through her bag and checking her phone, more than once, she pipes up. “Today's lesson will be a continuation of what we have been doing. Only speak when told. Watch my hands. Think about what I'm telling you to say. Really think. Can you do that, Yuuma?”

“Already did once.” I respond.

The smile she flashes me is a bit unsettling. “We will see.”

She seems out for blood. And I'm closest. Lovely.





Son of a bitch!

[Come on, Yuuma! Think about it.]

I angrily sign back. [I'm trying! This shit is hard!]

[Really? You don't know any of the words I'm giving you? Or is it saying them in a sentence?]

I start to sign a response, but throw my hands back down. “You're giving me things I don't...thi...” I growl through the confusion between my mouth and my brain. It's so easy to feel it when it's this prominent. I hate it.

I slow down. “Things I don't say.”

Eguchi lowers her own hands. “That's the point. It takes extra time for you to process complex words. If you aren't accustomed to it, it's a stronger baseline for your apraxia.”

“So this is just some experiment? See what makes me sound like an idiot the most?”

“Of course not. But it's easier for you to coast with the things you are familiar with. This forces you to think and fight for it.”

I look down and clench my fists. “I don't want to have to fight that hard to speak clearly.”

Surprisingly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look back up to see genuine sympathy in her dark eyes. It looks genuine anyway. Hell of a impression, if not.

“You aren't normally this wound up. Is something else bothering you?”

I snort. “Other than you forcing me through more apraxic episodes in an hour than I have had in the past month? No, can't think of anything.”

She bops my head. “Speak clearly. You are letting your frustration muddle your speech.”

“I think it's warranted.”

She shrugs. “It's only going to get harder, so you might as well get used to it. And lying to me won't get you anywhere.”

“Trying to be my real therapist, again?”

She doesn't visibly grate at that comment this time. Bummer, will have to think of something new.

“It's girl trouble isn't it?”

What the...

I must have betrayed something in my expression, because the smug look she's giving me would make Miki jealous.

“I was a teenager once too, you know.” She says.

“Oh, you were a boy back then? Explains a lot.”

She just chuckles. Damn, she's got it together today. Something must have pissed her off more than I can today. Oh, well.

“Boys and girls aren't so different, Yuuma. At least, not teenage ones. I recognize that look of yours.”

That isn't surprising, actually. “You probably confused all the boys in school, didn't you?”

She flips her hair back and flutters her eyelashes. “You mean with my stunning good looks?”

I let out a small laugh. It was intended to be comical, but still...

No, brain. Eguchi is not pretty! She is the enemy.

“Or your completely off putting personality.”

“Said the pot to the kettle.” She fires back.

I can't help but smile. Enemy or no, she's got a quick wit. Kiyomi's a bit like that. Dear lord. That can't be good.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Previous|Part Two
Last edited by Acik on Fri Feb 06, 2015 11:12 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Acik » Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:27 pm

“So, what's her name?” Eguchi asks.

“You work at the school. What makes you think I will tell you her name?” I scoff at her.

Her grin widens. “So there is a girl?”

I roll my eyes. “Don't feel too proud. You didn't catch me in some bugs bunny talking trap, I simply don't care.”

“Then tell me her name. I will find out anyway. It's a small school. You know how Yamaku is.”

Sighing, I concede. “Honestly, I'm surprised you don't know already.”

“Is it that little runner girl?”

I wave my hands in front of me. “God, no. Emi is with Hisao, or will be shortly.”

“I had heard something about that new kid possibly going after her. Thought that maybe that's what was bugging you.”

I shake my head. “No, that would be too straight forward.” But it’s nice to know the teachers gossip about us.

Eguchi's eyes light up, and she excitedly bounces in place. “Oh, it's complicated. I love it!”

I tilt my head. Glad she finds it all so amusing.

She blushes. “Sorry! I don't mean it like that. I don't get much girl talk these days.”

Girl talk, is it? Wow, way to make me feel better.

“Ignoring your god awful attempts at making this easier for me, her name is Kiyomi.”

Eguchi stares away for a moment. “That sounds familiar.”

“It's the new girl.”

“Right!” She snaps her fingers. “Two transfer students so close together, practically unheard of. I knew her name crossed my desk.”

I perk up.

What? Does Kiyomi have a speech problem? She seems to speak perfectly fine.

“Why would you have papers on her?”

Eguchi waves her hands and shakes her head. “It's not what you think. All faculty members are notified of new students. We have to be aware of everything. In case of complications. Of course, even if it was related to speech, it would be entirely unethical of me to tell you.”

“But you do know what's wrong with her?”

She frowns at that. “There is nothing 'wrong' with any of you. But yes, I do know of her condition.”

I won't get anything out of her. Damn you, Eguchi. You and your precious ethics.

“Anyway,” she says. “are you smitten with her? She is quite pretty.”

“No, it's...well, like I said. Complicated.”

She glances at her watch. “I got time. Start talking.”

I could just walk away. Nothing is stopping me. Our allotted time is over. I could just go back home and go to bed. But...

This will take a minute.





“It's a date.” She responds mere seconds after I finish explaining everything.

“Want to think about it for more than two seconds?” I retort.

Her features soften. “Look, Yuuma. I might not be that much older than you, but please listen. I'm a girl-”

“You know, I figured, but wasn't sure.”

She pauses and stares me down. “-a girl. And regardless of what she intended, she left room for doubt. And it seems like there is more evidence pointing toward it being a date than it not being one. She wants you to decide.”

I groan and fall back onto the grass. Orange sunlight permeates through the branches. We have been sitting here for almost two hours now, and she is telling me things I already knew. Well, didn't know. Thought of, at least.

“Why? Why would she do that?”

“I can't speak for her, but her intention seems clear. It's up to you. Maybe she just wants to know if you like her like that? Because you knew each other prior, she might just want a friend in a strange new place and is worried you might fall for her.”

Eguchi's logic seems so roundabout. Why would she potentially lead me on if she just wanted to be friends?

“That's ridiculous.”

Eguchi shrugs. “Yep. But that's teenagers for you. I think she just wants to know where she stands as badly as you do.”

I blow a few stray strands out of my eyes. “Sure is a messed up way to do it. I just don't want to be confused anymore.”

Eguchi rises and brushes the dust off her suit pants. “One way or another, Yuuma, you will be fine. Just take a pretty girl to the festival and have fun. It can be that simple if you want it to be. What happens, happens. Try not to over think it.”

I bring myself upright. “Says the person who has been enabling my over thinking for the past hour.”

She shrugs again. “Just trying to help you.” She fishes into her bag and pulls out a few notes. “Here, take this and have a good time.”

I hesitantly take the money. “3000 yen? I can't take your money.”

“It's already in your hands. Besides, now isn't the time to develop a conscience.”

Rising and reluctantly pocket the money. “I've always had one.”

She shoots me a small smile as she turns to leave. “I know, Yuuma. Maybe turn up its volume, though. Your asshole is louder.”

I can't help but grin at her parting comment, and she walks away. Surprisingly, I feel better. Maybe just talking about it helped? My real therapist would be so jealous.

Walking back through town I see dozens of people scrambling to prepare for tomorrow. Stalls going up, banners being placed, lights everywhere. Should be quite the spectacle. I wonder if Kiyomi has ever been to a Tanabata festival like this?

A small pit reforms in my stomach. Tomorrow is going to be eventful. No avoiding that. The point of no return has been reached. One way or another.

I trudge back up the hill to Yamaku, my thoughts mired down by the uncertainty of tomorrow. I don't like not knowing things. But as I reach my room and plop down onto my bed I realize something. My heart is racing.

Am I excited?

I ponder the ridiculousness of that as sleep slowly takes me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Part One|Next

Well, that was certainly a longer hiatus than I had planned. Life is like that sometimes, eh?
Last edited by Acik on Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by bhtooefr » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:43 pm

Acik wrote:You're mental health therapist might disagree.”
Your.
Acik wrote:“No, that would be to straight forward.” But it’s nice to know the teachers gossip about us to.
Too and too. Also, that second sentence feels like a fragment to me.
Acik wrote:All facility members are notified of new students.
Faculty.
Acik wrote:Maybe turn up it's volume, though.
Its.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:09 am

Damn, I seem to have been sloppy, missing three mistakes^^°
Sorry, I promise to be more thorough next time.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Guestimate » Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:04 pm

“I know, Yuuma. Maybe turn up its volume, though. Your asshole is louder.”
Bwahahahaha! This, I like this.

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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by azumeow » Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:16 pm

Guestimate wrote:
“I know, Yuuma. Maybe turn up its volume, though. Your asshole is louder.”
Bwahahahaha! This, I like this.
Agreed. The banter between those two is lovely.
"I don’t want to be here anymore, I know there’s nothing left worth staying for.
Your paradise is something I’ve endured
See I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m listening with one foot out the door
And something has to die to be reborn-I don’t want to be here anymore"

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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Acik » Sun Jul 27, 2014 12:14 pm

Sorry about the delayed response to the more recent messages, but as always I appreciate any and all feedback from you guys.

Thanks for the fixes bhtooefr, sometimes things fall through the cracks. Don't feel too bad Mirage, we both missed them :lol:
Guestimate wrote:Bwahahahaha! This, I like this.
azumeow wrote:Agreed. The banter between those two is lovely.
Love to hear this kind of thing, thank you profusely :D. Dialogue is usually my favorite aspect of writing and it's always nice when people like it. Yuuma is always a bit of a challenge in that department, because it's so easy to default his language and responses to really flippant and sarcastic things. Of course, he is a bit flippant and sarcastic, but it is a very slippery slope that I have to watch constantly, lest I make him sound even more like an asshole. Hopefully he is becoming a bit more lovable...hopefully...

Welp, Act One is coming to a close. We got one/two more chapters to go (depending on length and if it needs a split), and then we dive into the meat of this thing. Working on getting it out soon. Thanks for the continued support.
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Oddball » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:44 pm

I just read this whole thing straight through so far and I have to say it's a good fun story, especially now that you're lead seems to be somewhat less of a jerk than he started off as.

I do hope this continues.
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:51 pm

After my probably half year absence from the site it took me a bit to remember which story this was. Once I did, I was glad to see an update to it. It's a fun story with a main character who is becoming much more likable. Can't wait for the festival.
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Re: Waiting (Chapter Ten, 7/15)

Post by Acik » Sun Aug 31, 2014 6:54 pm

Oddball wrote:I just read this whole thing straight through so far and I have to say it's a good fun story, especially now that you're lead seems to be somewhat less of a jerk than he started off as.
I do hope this continues.
Sometimes it's nice to hit it all at once, isn't it? With my paranoia of plot holes I probably reread everything I currently have two or three times whenever I sit down to write.
AntonSlavik020 wrote:After my probably half year absence from the site it took me a bit to remember which story this was. Once I did, I was glad to see an update to it. It's a fun story with a main character who is becoming much more likable. Can't wait for the festival.
Welcome back!

Always appreciate comments and feedback. Really nice to see public opinion of Yuuma changing slightly. Pretty sure I have stated it before, but one of my fears was that he would be dreadfully unlikable early in this story. It was a gamble and hopefully will pay out here soon. I know it's been a little bit, but the end of Act One is a-coming.

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