Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Catharsis
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Catharsis » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:17 pm

Bagheera wrote:two post-neutral end Rin stories
I know this is off-topic, but could I have a link to one or both of these?
pip25 wrote:Thanks! While I don't have any immediate plans, that doesn't rule out more KS fics completely later on, if I find the time. We shall see. :)
I'll keep my toes crossed then! hinthint :wink:
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pip25
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by pip25 » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:19 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:There was no such storyline in the beta.
Oh, my bad then. I think I've read something like that on TvTropes, maybe. Perhaps it was an even earlier iteration? Oh well...
Catharsis wrote:I know this is off-topic, but could I have a link to one or both of these?
I would be interested as well, if you could give us the link to those fics. :)

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nemz
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by nemz » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:32 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I was inspired by the beta storyline where Misha also gets hit by a car
There was no such storyline in the beta.
He's referring to the 'work in progress' draft that came to light a while back, not something that was officially intended for release.

I would assume the two Rin fics Bagheera is referring to are The Lamb and The Fox and Direction, both of which I also highly recommend.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

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Catharsis
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Catharsis » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:39 pm

nemz wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
I was inspired by the beta storyline where Misha also gets hit by a car
There was no such storyline in the beta.
He's referring to the 'work in progress' draft that came to light a while back, not something that was officially intended for release.

I would assume the two Rin fics Bagheera is referring to are The Lamb and The Fox and Direction, both of which I also highly recommend.
Thank you!
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LorSquirrel
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by LorSquirrel » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:45 pm

*Finishes reading story* ... *takes off reading glasses and sets them down on the table* ... *starts clapping* "That was awesome!"

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Gruntbuggly
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Gruntbuggly » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:07 pm

You're quite the talented storyteller, but there were sporadic spelling and grammar mistakes. Never mind that, though. This was an ingenious idea with masterful execution. Incorporating the BGM was the icing on the cake. A great story, fitting for a great girl.
Last edited by Gruntbuggly on Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, My foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee In the gobberwarts With my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't!" - Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

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Reyhan
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Reyhan » Mon Jul 15, 2013 12:54 am

Wow! It's incredible. Well done man! Got me standing in a puddle of manly tears. Definitely my favourite fic.
Emi Shizune Lilly Rin Hanako

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pip25
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by pip25 » Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:06 pm

Thank you for the kind words, everyone. And thanks for the link, nemz, I really did enjoy reading "Direction". :D

Hanako Scars
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Hanako Scars » Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:13 pm

Loved it! Spent a massive chunk of my birthday reading it in one sitting I enjoyed it so much ^^ I love MishaxHisao fics, and the only thing better than a MishaxHisao fic is an excellently written one. I went through both endings, the bad one made me depressed and the good one made me really happy, which I'm guessing is exactly what you were going for. Thanks for starting this and actually completing it, I've been let down with Misha routes far too much :(
Misha Fanfic hunter. If you know of a good completed one, please PM me :)

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Sir Quil
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Sir Quil » Thu Aug 08, 2013 8:06 pm

Very much enjoyed this fanfic, took a quite of time/stayed up pretty late last night reading this. It was definitely worth the read, being a Misha lover, I ended up loving her character more then I already did. While a few grammar mistakes did bug me a little, it was pretty well written. Seeing a possible KenjixShizune route (maybe something you could work on next if you do decide to continue writing fanfics) made me feel pretty giddy for an awkward reason. Maybe it was just the fact that all the characters got some sort of role, even if it was a little. While I was also a bit skeptical about Lilly staying instead of going to Irviness as it felt a little unnatural(being a fan of Lilly and recently Akira myself) but it felt right towards the end. Bravo to you my good sir, and I hope you may write another fabulous story one day~.
"Mistakes are not shackles that halt one from stepping forward. Rather, they are that which sustain and grow ones heart."
Misha > Lilly=Akira > Hanako > Shizune > Rika > Emi > Saki > Rin

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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by TyronePotato » Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:55 am

"Here, you can take most of the ammuntion,"

Me : WAIT THEY HAVE GUNS?
ooooh feels.

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Hisao&Hanako<3
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Hisao&Hanako<3 » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:14 am

This is late in coming, but I always want to make good comments whenever I finish reading a story. Very well done, good sir. At first I was a bit skeptical, but by the good end of the story, I was fully satisfied. :D

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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by HoneyMuffin123 » Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:20 pm

*Slow Claps* Slow clap for Rin's awesomeness. I thank you, sir, for turning mai waifu into a total badass mofo. :D

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Oddball
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by Oddball » Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:28 am

For the most part this is a very strong story. I think I actually like Shizune MORE here than in the actually visual novel as odd as it may seem. Much of that has to due with how her bad behavior is actually viewed as bad behavior and has consequences. She doesn't just say she'll change and everything else gets swept under the rug. She feels more human here without any drastic changes to the characters.

Now the story does seem to wallow in melodrama for a bit here and there. The car accident and heart attack felt a bit too over the top and Shizune deciding to transfer all the sudden with no complications felt extremely unrealistic. I don't see why the school felt the need to bend over backwards to force the voting to take place before she leaves when as far as anybody knows Hisao and/or Misha could have just as easily stepped up and took over for her when she was gone.... but I suppose there's less drama that way.

I think my favorite character in the story was actually Kenji. You did a very good job with him. He's not just mad ranting about conspiracies and femminists like many authors want him to do, but he's actually perceptive enough to know when something is wrong with Hisao and not be easily manipulated by Hisao using his delusions against him. He's also able to keep up a charade around the female cast by acting nice and polite, which is something that's missing in a lot of people's works.

Hisao... Hisao is something altogether different. At first I liked how you handled him. It was obviously bad ending Hisao who'd picked up some of Shizune's worse traits, but he goes right past self centered and competitive to vile and vengeful. I was expecting at some point to find out that maybe his spell when Misha got hit by the car was much worse than anybody realized, but no. He was just being bitter and vicious. Really, when your lead character is that unlikeable, it's hard to get into the story completley.
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pip25
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Re: Blame (Post-Shizune Bad End Misha route) (Complete)

Post by pip25 » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:18 am

Oddball wrote:For the most part this is a very strong story. I think I actually like Shizune MORE here than in the actually visual novel as odd as it may seem. Much of that has to due with how her bad behavior is actually viewed as bad behavior and has consequences. She doesn't just say she'll change and everything else gets swept under the rug. She feels more human here without any drastic changes to the characters.
That's interesting, because I feel the same about Shizune's portrayal in her route in general. Of course, all of the main characters are fleshed out quite well in the game, all of them have their good or less fortunate traits, but because Shizune is such a strong-willed, driven character, everything about her, good or bad, comes across more strongly. When she does something questionable, it can really make you wince. (Not to say that Hisao the narrator actually notices all of it, but given his position I can sort of see why he doesn't.) This leads to most people either really liking her or really hating her from what I've seen, with little middle ground.
Now the story does seem to wallow in melodrama for a bit here and there. The car accident and heart attack felt a bit too over the top and Shizune deciding to transfer all the sudden with no complications felt extremely unrealistic.
Now that some time has passed since I wrote the story and I look back at the car accident plot device, I'm no longer really sure why I thought it would be a good idea. I probably figured that even if it feels cliché, a story of this genre can probably take some over-the-top drama. Now I'm less sure, but I suspect this shall always remain a matter of taste as well.
I don't see why the school felt the need to bend over backwards to force the voting to take place before she leaves when as far as anybody knows Hisao and/or Misha could have just as easily stepped up and took over for her when she was gone.... but I suppose there's less drama that way.
My impression was that the teachers, while not being completely up-to-date on Student Council matters, did see that Shizune was the leader figure who usually got things done - they might have even overestimated her contributions to an extent. So her request to let her take care of the elections before she leaves could have been seen as reasonable.
I think my favorite character in the story was actually Kenji. You did a very good job with him. He's not just mad ranting about conspiracies and femminists like many authors want him to do, but he's actually perceptive enough to know when something is wrong with Hisao and not be easily manipulated by Hisao using his delusions against him. He's also able to keep up a charade around the female cast by acting nice and polite, which is something that's missing in a lot of people's works.
I often fear that my portrayal of a character might come off as one-dimensional, so I'm very pleased that you enjoyed Kenji's. Writing him was great fun. :)
Hisao... Hisao is something altogether different. At first I liked how you handled him. It was obviously bad ending Hisao who'd picked up some of Shizune's worse traits, but he goes right past self centered and competitive to vile and vengeful. I was expecting at some point to find out that maybe his spell when Misha got hit by the car was much worse than anybody realized, but no. He was just being bitter and vicious. Really, when your lead character is that unlikeable, it's hard to get into the story completley.
I did anticipate this one. The protagonist being unlikable can easily distance the reader from the story, especially if the protagonist is also the narrator. That said, it was still my explicit intent to make Hisao "bitter and vicious" in the "bad end" route, so I took a gamble and hoped that by that time the reader felt invested enough in the story not to drop it entirely. Sorry about that. ;)

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