Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Summer Update!

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! St. Pat Update

Post by Helbereth » Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:46 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
she would meet a different group of people then she did in USM.
Good bye... It was nice knowing you...

Oh wait, he said "If I have to correct!" Seems I just saved your life ;-)
My wrath is delayed, then. Seriously, though, haven't you noticed that, despite being corrected about a thousand times, Hoitash still manages to upend that particular word rather frequently? Part of me wonders whether he does it on purpose...

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! St. Pat Update

Post by Hoitash » Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:59 am

Helbereth wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
she would meet a different group of people then she did in USM.
Good bye... It was nice knowing you...

Oh wait, he said "If I have to correct!" Seems I just saved your life ;-)
My wrath is delayed, then. Seriously, though, haven't you noticed that, despite being corrected about a thousand times, Hoitash still manages to upend that particular word rather frequently? Part of me wonders whether he does it on purpose...
But... that was time related. Then relates to time....

I blame the English language, myself.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! St. Pat Update

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:22 pm

Time related? How so?
The group she met in one story was different than the group she met in the other one.

Personally, I'd rather use "different from" or even "she met a different group", but if you want to use the t-word the third letter has to be "a" ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! St. Pat Update

Post by Hoitash » Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:35 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Time related? How so?
The group she met in one story was different than the group she met in the other one.

Personally, I'd rather use "different from" or even "she met a different group", but if you want to use the t-word the third letter has to be "a" ;-)
Wow, my brain is really screwed up.

Sorry about that, I literally have no idea what I was thinking when I thought that was time related.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:30 am

I was gonna post this Saturday to book end the Lent Special, but I’ll be out of town fighting a goblin horde to reclaim one of the lost Runefangs… wait, no, that’s next week. I’m gonna be out of town visiting relatives.

Anywho, if you liked “Apocalypse Cow”, you might like this Spring Special, which takes place in mid- January of 2011.

Enjoy, and all aboard the crazy train.


“There is no escape from Chaos. It Marks us all.” –Narrator, Warhammer: Mark of Chaos.


Hisao and Kenji: Poker Night


“Gentlemen,” Kenji declared, “It is now the appointed time and place. Let the first Poker Night of the New Year begin!”

Everyone sat down around the round table and started shuffling platters and drinks into place, while I pulled out a fresh pack of cards and the poker chips from under the table.

Two Tuesday’s a month, Kenji and I took part in a poker game with some members of the school’s gaming club, and anyone else we felt like inviting. Along with Kenji, who was sitting on my left, was my perpetual lab partner and resident dorm hippie on my right, Oji Homma. Though he clearly enjoyed our company, I’m pretty sure the main reason he played with us was for the food.

Sitting on Oji’s right was Kaneo Takarada, a character if ever there was one. It was actually his dorm we were using for the games, because his was the only one with enough room, thanks to some careful maneuvering of the beds and lack of extraneous crap.

Everything about Kaneo was tied to an image; his shining auburn hair and polished, brass-framed glasses, the fur coat he draped over his shoulders to make himself look bigger and keep warm, and of course the rings on his fingers. The ones of his left hand were emblazoned with various heraldries from the Bretonnian faction of Warhammer Fantasy, while his right bore the symbols of the Iron Kingdoms from Warmachine. Even the gold tooth from when he had mouthed off to the wrong person added to the image.

Despite the fact that he looked like a pimp, he was a pretty fun guy to hang around, although he could be a bit of an ass. He was also Student Council Treasurer.

Next to Kaneo was his roommate, Jacques Ringenbach, an international student from France studying software design to help prevent the Robot Revolution (his words.) A stocky young man with brown hair and eyes, he also fancied himself a Chaostician, but really he just liked to blather on about bullshit. He and Kenji got along great.

Rounding out our little group as the second sanest member after myself and Oji on a good day, was Lilly’s boyfriend at the time, George Williams. Considering how close Hanako, Lilly, and Kenji and I were, I decided the more ways to include George in our little screwed-up family, the better. Besides, it was always entertaining when he and Kaneo started arguing over something. Perhaps because he was so easygoing, George had ingratiated himself well with the group.

By the time I was done shuffling, everyone else had collected their chips for the night and grabbed some food or something to drink. Dealing out the cards, I rattled off, “Alright, you know the drill; five card draw, Ace’s go both ways, and don’t forget to tip your dealer.”

“Don’t quit your day job,” Kaneo quipped, “How’s dat foh a tip?”

I shrugged and grabbed my own chips, “Ante up, folks. It’s gonna be a long one this time.”

“That’s what she said,” Jacques quipped.

George sighed and tossed a white chip into the pile, “Really, every time?”

Jacques snickered and took a swig from his canned coffee. George sighed again and started passing the plate of brownies.

“So how was everyone’s break?” I asked.

Kenji shrugged, “Same as usual. I check.”

“Fine,” George replied, “Though if I don’t introduce them to Lilly soon, I think my sisters might have a fit, never mind my parents. I’ll raise a hundred.”

“Ah, the joys of young romance,” Jacques remarked, enjoying playing the role of the romantic almost as much as he did a gadfly, “My break was okay. Couldn’t go home, but hey, c'est la vie. I call.”

“My break sucked,” Kaneo declared, “Every kiss-ass in dah Conglomerate came by to visit–I had to wear a suit and everyting!”

“I take it the fly look didn’t fly with your father?” George quipped.

Kaneo glared at him from over his cards, “You proud of dat?”

George smirked and nodded.

Kaneo rolled his eyes and sighed, “Well, my break sucked and my cards suck, so I fold.”

“I’ll raise another hundred,” Oji said, “And you really gotta loosen up, Tako.”

“Yeah, yeah….”

Looking at my own worthless hand, I sighed and folded. Everyone else called, and I started handing out replacement cards for Kenji, George, Jacques, and Oji.

Kenji glared at the cards in front of him –designed for the vision impaired, of course- and reached for his chips, “I’ll bet a hundred.”

“I’ll call,” George stated.

“Well, that was no help,” Jacques grumbled, “I fold.”

“I’ll raise another hundred,” Oji stated.

Kenji grit his teeth and glared at the enlarged symbols and numbers of his cards, “Ah, we got plenty of time; no use goin’ big this early. I fold.”

George glanced at Kenji before eying Oji, who was holding his cards with one hand while gnawing on a brownie with the other. Oji’s dark brown eyes never left his cards.

“Ah screw it,” George said, “I’ll call.”

Oji shoved the rest of the brownie down his throat and revealed his hand; an Ace-high straight. George sighed at his two ten’s and grabbed a slice of pizza from a nearby folding tray.

Kaneo sighed and popped open a beer, “Nice to know some tings ain’t changin’.”

“The night is young,” Jacques remarked, “Besides, at least there’s plenty of pizza and potstickers.”

I rolled my eyes and passed the cards to Kenji, “And I thought my mom was weird when she started fawning over them.”

“Speaking of which,” George said while Kenji dealt, “How was your break?”

I shrugged and collected my hand, “Not bad, although I question the intelligence of living with my fiancé and my parents for the next two years, even if it is just on breaks.”

“You might wanna look at an apartment,” Kaneo suggested.

“I’ve thought about it,” I said as we put in the ante, “But the cost is an issue, and I wouldn’t want to leave Lilly hanging like that.”

“Lilly can look after herself,” George stated, “Pardon the poor choice of words. I check.”

“Doesn’t mean she should have to,” Kaneo stated.

“I’ll check,” Jacques declared, “And why not have Satou rent with you?”

I nodded and sipped at my canned coffee, “That’s another option. Right now we’re just trying to get a handle on the new trimester, so we’ll see how it goes.”

“If it’s anyting like my hands,” Kaneo stated, “It ain’t gonna go well. I check.”

“You guys really need to lighten up,” Oji stated, “I bet two hundred.”

Kaneo sighed and licked his gold tooth, while I looked down at my own pitiful –though somewhat salvageable- hand.

Yes, it was definitely going to be a long night.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:31 am

Part Two:

A little over an hour later, and Kaneo, Kenji, and George had exchanged small pots, while Oji and myself had managed to acquire some more sizeable winnings. Kaneo was dealing out a fresh hand when my cell phone started vibrating in my pocket.

“What the…?” I grabbed my phone and noticed I had a text message, “… Ah crap, I knew I forgot something,” looking up at Kaneo I asked, “Hey Tako, is it okay if Sarah swings by? One of her friends left me some notes for her from a class she missed this morning.”

Kaneo shrugged and tossed in the ante, “Sure, why not? Hell, invite her to join us; we could use dah extra money.”

“Sarah doesn’t have any extra money,” Oji remarked, “Wait, why did she miss class this morning? Was she up all night playing EVE Online again? Oh, I bet a hundred.”

Kaneo glared at Oji, “You don’t have to bet every damn time!”

Oji looked back at the Treasurer, dumbfounded, “Then how will I win?”

“She was up late last night studying for a different class,” I replied to the earlier question, “And I call.”

I started texting a reply to Sarah while Kenji called and George just looked around at us blankly.

“Do I know Sarah?” he asked.

“Nah, man,” Kenji replied, “She’s in the gaming club and a pre-med student. Though she is an international student, so you mighta seen her at some event or meeting.”

“Not that you’d remember her,” Kaneo added, “Mousy little ting. By dah way,” he raised an eyebrow at Kenji, “you got a problem if she joins us?”

Kenji shook his head, “Even if she can kill us all with a comb, she’s really more like one of us than a possible illuminati assassin.”

Kaneo blinked, “You have problems.”

It took another round of cards before someone knocked on Kaneo’s door. Since I was closest to the door and she was there because of me, I got up and opened it. Standing outside in the hallway was an olive skinned, mousy young woman a bit shorter than me, with long limp brown hair and matching eyes, which were drooped slightly from fatigue. A large and heavy looking backpack was strapped to her back.

“Hey, Senpai,” she greeted.

She was also a sophomore.

“Hey,” I returned, then raised an eyebrow and asked, “You okay? You look dead on your feet.”

Sarah shrugged, “I’m fine. You got the notes, right?”

I nodded, “Yeah, come on in and I’ll get ‘em for you. And some coffee, while you’re here.”

“Thanks. Do you have any brewed? The canned stuff doesn’t sit right.”

“No problem,” I said, and stepped back to grab the notes from my pack.

“Sarah’s here,” I stated as I headed over to my bag.

“Hey,” everyone except George said.

Sarah gave a weak wave, “Hi, Sen- er, guys,” she amended, remembering Jacques “no honorifics in the Realm of Chaos” rule. Noticing George, she continued, “Oh, hello. I don’t believe we’ve met? I’m Sarah Shirazy, from the gaming club. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you,” George returned, “George Williams.”

Sarah raised a weary eyebrow, “The Blond Amazon’s boyfriend?”

George sighed, “Why does everyone call her that?”

Collecting his winnings from the small pot that had formed from the game I had to sit out, Jacques replied, “Because she’s blond, tall, and has a great rack.”

George eyed him for a moment, then shrugged, “Fair point.”

Having finally found the notes from my bag, I held them out for Sarah to take, “Here you go, I’ll go get the coffee for you.”

Sarah took the notes and took off her pack so she could stuff them inside it, if she could find the room; the bag looked packed as it was, and had made a hefty clunking noise when she placed it on the floor.

“Lot of studying to do?” George asked.

Sarah sighed and nodded, “I’m pre-med –cliché, I know.”

After fiddling with the coffee from the simple brewer tucked in a corner, I handed it to Sarah and asked to be sure, “One cream, one sugar, right?”

Sarah manhandled the notes into place and stood up, “Yeah, thanks.”

Sarah took the coffee and held it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. She gave a contented sigh, smiled, and took a sip.

“Looks like you might be here a bit,” Oji remarked, “So why not play a few hands with us?”

Sarah lowered the cup and asked, “You sure that’s okay? I don’t wanna interrupt your guy time, or whatever.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kenji declared, “Besides, you’re kinda like a-”

“For the sake of all of us,” George interrupted, “Do not finish that sentence.”

“There’s some space here for you,” Oji said, indicating the spot between me and him.

“Although if you need to study….” George said.

Sarah sighed and put the cup down on the table, “I’ve been studying all afternoon. I even ended up missing dinner.”

“Den sit and eat already,” Kaneo stated, “Buy-ins two tousand yen, dah white chips are wort a hundred, dah blue two hundred, and dah red’s five hundred.”

“There’s also a five hundred yen limit,” I added, “to keep things friendly.”

“And George from betting with beaver pelts,” Kaneo added.

“Or Tako from using stocks of his company,” George parried.

Kenji piped in before the two could build up more steam and said, “Generally whoever wins the most the previous game pays for the pizza next time.”

“So you guys do this every Tuesday?” Sarah asked.

“Just bi-monthly,” Jacques replied, “The other two weeks we play RPG’s.”

“We decided dis year to put Kenji’s insanity to good use and play World of Darkness,” Kaneo added.

Kenji pointed at Kaneo and declared, “One day you’ll all see I was right!”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Right, like you were right about the feminist conspiracy?”

Kenji grumbled around his beer, “The Oprah Winfrey Book Club is part of the Illuminati plot, so I wasn’t wrong, just ill-informed.”

“And batshit insane,” Kaneo remarked, “But dat’s what I like about you; you are who you are, and you don’t deny it. So Sarah, you in or out?”

Sarah looked us over and shrugged, “Sure, why not? I think I have two thousand yen….”

Sarah started fiddling with her bag, apparently looking for her wallet, or wherever she had stuffed her money. While she did that, Oji got up and grabbed another folding chair for her, and I scooted over a bit so she’d have some room.

“I thought I had some money,” Sarah muttered, “I know it’s not in my pockets… Did I spend it all on cigarettes? No, I needed something for laundry… Tembel, where did you put it?”

“For cryin’ out loud,” Kaneo muttered. Grabbing a handful of his own chips, he tossed them where Sarah would sit and stated, “Dere, you owe me a game next week. Now quit lookin’ troo your bag like a bum tryin’ to grab a nap on dah bus, have a seat, and eat sometin’. Geez, you’re as bad as my sisters….”

Sarah looked up from her bag, “You sure? I can pay you-”

Kaneo raised a ring-encrusted hand to cut her off, “No, you won’t pay me back, except by handin’ my ass to me when your stinkin’ pointy-eared bastards skewer my knights. So sit. Eat. Play. Now.”

Sarah gave a mock salute and took her seat, “If you insist.”

Kaneo glowered and muttered, “I do.”

Sarah smirked and eased more into her seat, while Oji ogled her and Jacques gave her a speculative look. Once she seemed comfortable, Jacques leaned forward and asked, “So, do they really teach you how to kill someone with a comb in basic training?”

Sarah stacked her chips and replied, “You guys do know my conscription is deferred while I’m overseas, right?”

While the others were talking to Sarah, Oji had grabbed the platter of potstickers and a plate, which he offered to her, “Potstickers?”

“They and the brownies are probably the only things you can eat,” I added, “Oh, the brownies are nut free, by the way.”

Sarah eyed the potstickers and licked her lips, “Did Ikezawa make these?”

I nodded, “Yup, they’re nut free, too. She went a little overboard so I was gonna bring some to the meeting for snacking.”

Sarah licked her lips again and quickly snatched up a sizeable bunch of the potstickers. She also reached over and grabbed two brownies, which she proceeded to practically inhale. While she ate, Oji watched her mouth and throat work, and I discreetly tossed a chip at his head to snap him out of it. Oji shook himself to his senses and focused on his soda and poker chips, though his eye would still occasionally glance at Sarah.

“So who’s dealing next?” Oji asked.

“Tako,” Jacques replied, handing him the cards. Looking around at our hodgepodge group, he added, “Huh. You never realize how many international students a college has until they start to group together.”

“Dere money’s as good as anyone else’s,” Kaneo declared while he dealt.

“Spoken like a true Osakan,” George quipped.

Kaneo glared at George and aimed three spindly fingers at him, “Hey, humans are controlled by tree tings: fear, knowledge, and money. And everyting has a price, be it coin or blood. Now ante up already so we can get dis show back on track. You know how to play, right Sarah?”

Swallowing the potstickers she had shoved into her mouth, she replied, “Wouldn’t a joined if I didn’t.”

Tossing in his ante, George glanced up at Sarah and asked, “You mentioned you were part of their gaming group?”

Sarah nodded, “Mostly I just paint stuff, but I do have a small High Elves army. I’m not very good, though.”

Kaneo rolled his eyes and grumbled, “Dere’s no such ting as a bad High Elf player. Damn pointy-eared pricks.”

“Butthurt Bretonnian says what?” Jacques muttered.

Kaneo glared at the Frenchman, “How would you like a Green Knight shoved up yor ass?”

Jacques leaned back in his chair and stroked his chin, “Hmm… an interesting query. Shall we test it on the field of battle at the next meeting?”

“Bring dah Doom Chicken,” Kaneo said.

“Agreed,” Jacques said.

“And people say Fantasy is dying,” I quipped.

“You should join the fun,” Jacques said, “You’d make a great Empire player.”

“One big-ass army of soldiers is enough, thank you,” I stated, “Oji, check or bet?”
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:31 am

Part Three:

As the hours rolled by, it became painfully clear that Sarah was a terrible card player. She never seemed sure when to fold, she got too caught up in betting to cut her losses, and she couldn’t bluff to save her pharmaceutical textbook. She also started fidgeting more as the night wore on due to lack of nicotine.

Thanks to a couple lucky wins, she managed to stay in the game, although the only thing that seemed to keep her afloat was that Kaneo had on average worse luck than her. After a particularly close hand went to Oji, the Treasurer groaned and clamped his head in his hands.

“Not again,” he lamented, “Dis is all dat damn curse’s fault.”

George sighed and started dealing, “Please don’t start that again.”

Kaneo looked up to glare at George, “I’m tellin’ yah, it’s true!”

“What curse?” Sarah asked.

George groaned, “Please don’t ask.”

Sarah blinked, “But I just did.”

“One time,” Kaneo began, and everyone else but Sarah sighed -even if we didn’t get as ticked off about it as George, we had all heard the story too many times as it was, “my great-great grandfaddeh was in Yokohama on business, when his path crossed wit a Catholic Priest. Dah Priest tripped in front of him, and raddeh den help him up, my great-great granfaddeh spat on him and mocked him for his barbarian ways.

“Well, dah Priest launches himself up, his eyes blazin’ like an Empire Warrior Priest,” Kaneo stated, waving his hands dramatically as he told the story, “and holdin’ a cross in his hands, he trust it up and declared dat my entire family was fo-eveh Marked wit dah Curse of Saint Cajetan. Wit lightnin’ blastin’ down into dah blazing cross, dah Priest declared dat our family would forever have terrible luck whenever it came to gambling. Dah only way to break dah curse would be if dah firstborn son of dah current Head of dah family marries a Christian, which is technically me, since my grandfaddeh is too fucked up from dah war to do much of anyting.”

When he was finished with his story, George sighed and thumped his head on the table, “Do I really need to explain again all the things that are wrong with that story?”

“Saint Cajetan is the Patron Saint of gamblers,” Jacques reminded him.

“You’re not helping,” George grumbled from the table.

Jacques grinned, “I am an agent of Chaos.”

George sighed and righted himself, “I’m the otaku, but you’re spouting the stuff straight out of an action manga.”

“They really should make more Warhammer comics,” Oji remarked.

Kaneo snorted, “That’d require GW to have a marketing strategy dat doesn’t suck ass… or to even have one, come to dat.”

“What time is it?” Sarah interjected.

I checked my watch and told her. She grimaced and grumbled, “So the desk person on duty’ll be checking ID’s.”

“If you need a smoke break,” Oji said, “I’ll go with you so you can get back in.”

Sarah grinned, “Thanks.”

“Maybe if he’s stoned he’ll stop winning,” Kaneo grumbled.

“I’m not that out of it,” Oji declared.

The two stood up and left out the door, Sarah visibly restraining her stride to keep pace with Oji’s more sedate movements.

When the door was closed and the sound of their departure inaudible, Kaneo rolled his eyes and grumbled, “Everyone else saw him eyein’ her like she was a slab of kobe beef, right?”

“You’re exaggerating,” George said, “He was a bit more subtle than that.”

Kaneo snorted, “Still, I expect dat crap from dah Frenchie, not him.”

“Love you too, Tako.”

“Oji’s had a crush on Sarah since she joined the group,” I stated, “He’s always had a thing for exotic types.”

“They always seem to get along at meetings,” Jacques added, “So it is possible that she returns his… interest.”

“She didn’t kill him with a comb,” Kenji piped in, “So he’s got that goin’ for him.”

We all exchanged a look and slowly turned to the door, gulping involuntarily as we let our tired minds jump to ever more intricate and disturbing places.

“We’re just tired,” George declared, “Sarah drank all the coffee, and I’d rather not use up all the canned stuff, so how about we take a break while we brew some more?”

“Good idea,” I concurred, “We’re all just over-thinking what is clearly Oji being Oji.”

“Tink I prefer him stoned,” Kaneo remarked.

==

Sarah and a non-murdered Oji returned about the time the coffee was done, Oji his laid-back sober self and Sarah looking less twitchy than she had before. After grabbing more food, we decided to continue the game despite the late hour, since at the time it seemed to make more sense to keep playing than sleep. The joys of youth, insanity, and too much caffeine, I guess.

Though she had calmed down a bit physically after her smoke break, Sarah had become more aggressive in her play style, which often pitted her against the only other player stubborn enough not to fold when he thought he had even a hope of winning: Kaneo.

The two’s duels had had an interesting effect on the game, as George and Jacques –both normally very cautious players –also found themselves trying to match the new aggressive course. Which is why George, Kenji, and Kaneo ended up having a staring contest while I determined if I should call, fold, or raise.

Since I had four tens, I felt confident enough to call. Kenji glowered and glared down at his own cards, obscuring his face from George and Kaneo, who promptly started glaring at each other.

“…Fuck it, I fold,” Kenji grumbled, tossing his cards into the discard pile.

George glanced down at his cards, than at Kaneo, who just grinned back and licked his gold tooth. After a few tense moments, George sighed and declared, “I call.”

“Raise,” Kaneo declared, bringing us up to the limit.

I sighed and folded; I was pretty sure Kaneo was bluffing, but George wouldn’t have kept going if he didn’t have a decent hand, and thanks to some foolhardy stakes and a pair of Jacks I was low on funds, so better to call it quits.

Kaneo licked his tooth and looked George up and down, “Well, Georgy, you in or out?”

“Don’t rush me,” George muttered, “I’m thinking.”

“Tink faster, or are you wonderin’ if you got enough beaver pelts stockpiled to cover your losses?”

“I have a girlfriend, thank you, so I am quite set in that regard,” George quipped. His eyes widening in horror, he looked up at Sarah and said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Sarah smirked and rolled her eyes, “Like I’m not used to it.”

“Still, I should know better than to say such things in the presence of a lady.”

Sarah looked confused, “I don’t think Tako cares what you said.”

“He means you,” Tako growled, “Now stop distactin’ him so he can make a decision.”

“Yes, Dad,” Sarah mumbled, which earned a snicker from Oji, who I suspect was the only person other than me who heard her.

George glanced at his cards, then up at Kaneo. Kaneo grinned and licked his gold tooth. Sighing, George placed his cards on the table, “I fold.”

Still grinning, Kaneo tossed his cards aside and started collecting his winnings, “Yes! For once dah Winds of Magic are wit me!”

“Indeed!” Jacques declared, “Soon all shall know and fear the might of the Great Takarada Conglomerate, financier of Shoguns, Emperors, and the very city of Osaka itself!”

“How many beers have you had?” I asked.

“Two.”

George got up and grabbed the cards Kaneo had been holding, “A Pair of Twos!?”

“Hey, no one told yuh tah look!” Kaneo snapped.

George sighed and sat back down, “I can’t believe I fell for that.”

“You’re not the only one, man,” Kenji declared, giving George’s shoulder a sympathetic pat.

“We shoulda known better,” I stated, “Considering he hasn’t gotten better than two pair all night.”

George smirked and nodded, “Good point. Everyone ready for another hand?”
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:32 am

Part Four:

Of course, the Winds of Magic are a fickle thing, and it wasn’t many hours before Kaneo was practically back to where he started.

Holding his head in his hands, Kaneo grumbled, “Dis is all dat damn Priest’s fault…” looking up from his hands at George, he raised a speculative eyebrow and said, “Hey, Georgy, would you-”

“No, I will not marry you to end the ‘curse’,” George stated, “Please stop asking. Or at the very least, ask Jacques instead.”

“Jacques couldn’t provide a big enough dowry,” Kaneo stated.

“Besides, I’m non-practicing, so it probably wouldn’t count,” Jacques added.

George looked up from his cards, “Not that it matters, but why do I have to be the woman in the relationship?”

Kaneo rolled his eyes, “’Cuz what would dah point of me being dah woman be if tah lift dah curse dah first-born son has to marry?”

“He has a point,” Oji stated.

“Please don’t encourage him,” George muttered.

Kaneo sighed and grabbed one of the last brownies. Jacques, who had had another beer by that point despite being a lightweight, reached over and wrapped an arm around his roommate, “Ah, mon ami, don’t worry! I’m sure someday you’ll find the perfect man to spend the rest of your life with! Settling now would only lead to a life of bitterness and regret.”

“Implying I’d ever say yes,” George said.

Jacques glared at George, “Are you implying my friend is not good enough for you?”

While the three bickered, Sarah leaned over to me and whispered, “Are they always like this outside of the meetings?”

“Pretty much,” I replied. Speaking up, I added, “It’s getting late, so I say we have one last hand and call it a night.”

“Good idea,” Oji said, “Give the lovebirds some time to cool off from their spat.”

George rolled his eyes and handed the cards to Jacques to deal.

I noticed Sarah was chewing her lower lip and glancing at Oji, who for once seemed oblivious to the mousy sophomore. Before Jacques could start dealing, she stopped chewing and looked up, “Hey, since this is the last hand, is it alright if we remove the betting limit?”

Kaneo leaned forward, “One does not simply remove dah limit.”

“Saito. Hiraga,” George declared.

Kaneo glared at George, “Your kind disgusts me, you know dat?”

George smirked, “You’re just jealous of my signed Yoko Hikasa photo.”

“I know Hanako is,” I remarked.

“As Kaneo was saying,” Jacques interjected, “One does not simply remove the limit; it can only be lifted by majority vote, for one hand per night. As this is the last hand, I see no reason not to. Everyone else?”

Kaneo shrugged, “Why dah hell not?”

“I’m game,” George stated, “not like I got a lot left anyway,” Kaneo opened his mouth and George jabbed a finger at him, “and no cracks about my parent’s company.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “Wait, you’re actually in the fur industry?”

George nodded, “My family runs one of the few remaining fur clothing companies in Canada; we have our half of North America, and Detroit has the other half. Nice and clean… um, unless you have a thing about the fur industry, that is.”

Sarah shrugged, “I don’t care.”

“Since we have come to a majority,” Jacques stated, bringing us back on topic again, “the betting limit has been removed for the Last Hand. Tzeentch is pleased by this.”

Jacques started dealing cards, and everyone warily eyed each other, unsure what the new stakes would bring. We rarely lifted the limit ourselves, simply because there wasn’t really a point. When we did, though, it didn’t take long for the stakes to get… interesting. And usually humiliating for at least one of us.

Considering I had half of a King-high straight in my hand, I felt confident that I would avoid the fiasco of the last times the limit had been raised. After anteing up, everyone looked to Kaneo to see what he would do.

Kaneo grinned and licked his tooth, “Check.”

Everyone else groaned and rolled their eyes. Kaneo laughed and looked at Oji to see what he would do.

“…Check,” Oji stated.

Sarah rolled her eyes and tossed her last five hundred yen chip into the pile, “Cowards. I bet five hundred.”

Sarah glared at me, daring me to make a move. Since it’s rude to disappoint a lady, I smirked and raised another five hundred.

Kenji grinned, “Now it’s a party! I raise two hundred.”

“…I’ll call,” George said, which earned him disappointed sighs from Kaneo and Sarah, “What, I’m low on chips.”

“As the limit has been removed,” Jacques said, “alternative forms of payment will be accepted. That said, I call as well.”

“Surrenderin’ already?” Kaneo asked, “How typical. I match and raise anuddeh five hundred.”

Oji tossed in some chips, and it was a testament to the night’s success that he still had a decent pile remaining, “Call.”

Sarah swore under her breath; she didn’t have enough chips to match, let alone raise. Her disappointment made me wonder if she was planning something, since removing the limit had been her idea in the first place. My curiosity piqued, I couldn’t help raise an eyebrow as she reached into her pocket and placed an unopened pack of cigarettes into the pot.

“Those cost me seven hundred yen,” she said, “So they should be worth at least that, right?”

Jacques nodded, “Agreed.”

“Tose yor last ones?” Kaneo asked.

“I have another pack at my dorm,” Sarah replied, “I also call.”

“Sarah’s all in,” Jacques declared.

“I didn’t say that,” Sarah stated, then reached into her bag. After several seconds of muted Hebrew and English that sounded suspiciously like swearwords, she sat back upright, holding some paper and a pen.

Jacques grinned widely, “Tzeentch is pleased.”

Kaneo rolled his eyes, “You need help.”

“And you need to get laid,” George muttered.

Kaneo aimed a finger at him, but Oji cut in, “Easy, man. Don’t go hitting us with them negative waves so early in the morning.”

I glanced at my watch and my eyes widened; it truly was Wednesday morning. Good thing I didn’t have class until that afternoon.

Deciding to play it safe for the time being, I called as well, which used up most of my remaining chips.

Kenji tossed in all but his last two hundred yen chip, “Call.”

“Call,” George declared, which used up most of his remaining chips as well.

Jacques sighed and called as well, reducing him to a few hundred yen chips in the process, “Who needs cards?”

“Gimme two,” Kaneo replied.

“Three for me, please,” Oji requested.

“Two here,” Sarah stated.

“Two,” I declared.

“Just one, please,” George stated.

“And two for the dealer,” Jacques remarked. Once the cards were doled out, he and everyone else looked expectantly at Kaneo.

“…I bet two hundred,” Kaneo stated, tossing in his last two chips.

“I raise three hundred,” Oji declared, tossing in his last chips. Glancing at Sarah’s pad of paper, he added, “Not all-in.”

Sarah glanced at Oji and looked at her hand, then down at the pad. Smirking lightly, she held her cards with one hand and started scribbling with the other. When she was done, she ripped off the sheet of paper, folded it, and tossed it onto the pile.

“One Hero, Lord, or HQ painting commission,” she declared, “forty millimeter base or lower only, should be worth about…” she looked up at Jacques, “four thousand?”

Kaneo and Kenji’s jaws dropped. Jacques leaned back in his chair and grinned, while Oji and I just looked at our cards, too stunned to do anything else; even when we did remove the limit, we rarely went that high, and almost never higher. My suspicions that she was planning something grew as Sarah smirked and waited patiently for Jacques to respond.

George recovered first, raising an eyebrow and asking, “And what if we don’t play any tabletop wargames?”

“I’ll help with homework,” Sarah replied, “I know three languages and have a decent grasp of grammar, so if nothing else I can proofread essays.”

“Fair enough,” George conceded.

Still grinning, Jacques sat forward and stated, “Since there are no objections, the suggested value is accepted.”
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:32 am

Part Five:

“How are we supposed to call dat?” Kaneo asked, “Dere’s only eight hundred in chips left!”

Sarah grinned, “I got plenty of paper here.”

Kaneo raised an eyebrow, “Well ain’t you a clever little ting?”

Sarah shrugged and focused on her cards. Everyone else turned to me, while I looked down sadly at my uncompleted straight. With a weary sigh I laid my cards down, “I fold.”

“Don’t worry, man!” Kenji stated, lightly patting my back as he declared, “I’ll carry on the fight in your name!”

I smirked and leaned back in my chair, “I know you will; all my hopes lie with you, now.”

“You’re fucked,” Kaneo quipped.

Kenji growled and leaned forward, “Not as long as I have somethin’ to say about it! Gimme that pad.”

Sarah tossed the pad over to Kenji, who overreacted and ended up jumping out of his chair trying to grab it. Somehow he kept his cards with him, and after groping around for the pad of paper, he dragged it under the table with him on the floor. After a few moments of furious scribbling he bounced back up and sat down, tossing the folded paper and his last two chips into the mix.

“I call with two hundred yen and the next op-ed column I write being on the subject of the winner’s choosing,” he stated. Grinning, he turned to Jacques and added, “Considering how popular my column is, that aughtta be worth forty-three hundred.”

Jacques leaned back into his chair to mull the value over, while Kaneo grinned and licked his tooth.

“You sure you wanna do dat? You already got half dah student orgs out for your balls on a spike.”

Kenji snorted and rolled his eyes, “The Third Estate will not be silenced! I refuse to hold back from revealing the truth of corruption and decadence that has seeped into the very fabric of our national educational system and seeks to destroy it with lies and overpriced textbooks!”

“Take a breath, man,” Oji said, “We’re on your side. So,” Oji turned to Jacques, “What say you?”

Jacques rubbed his chin for a moment, rolled his shoulders, leaned forward, and said, “The suggested value is accepted, if, in addition to the winner, you also write one on a topic of my choosing.”

Kenji gave Jacque’s left ear an appraising leer for a few moments, “…Done, as long as it’s understood that heeding the needs of my readership is not the same as selling out.”

Everyone nodded –and Kaneo rolled his eyes- and Kenji nodded in satisfaction. Everyone turned to George, who tossed in his last two hundred yen chip and reached for his pocket. Pulling out his wallet, he looked inside, took out some cash, and tossed it into the pile.

“Call,” he declared.

Sarah rolled her eyes and sighed, “Aw c’mon, that’s no fun!”

“No, but it is practical,” George retorted, “Besides, the game’s not over yet.”

“Very true!” Jacques stated, “Unfortunately, I got shit for cards, so I fold.”

“Damn,” Kaneo grumbled, “Guess I’ll just have tah play dirty. Pad.”

Kenji tossed the pad at Kaneo, which hit him right in the head.

“Watch dah glasses!” he snapped.

“Sorry, man,” Kenji said.

“Nice shot, though,” George remarked.

Kaneo grumbled something and readjusted his glasses. Taking the pen Sarah offered him with a muted thanks, he started scribbling away. When he was done he folded the paper and added it to the rather odd looking pot, “I raise wit fifty-five hundred yen to dah charity of dah winner’s choice.”

“Interesting,” Oji remarked. Looking down at his hand, he reached into his pocket for his wallet, from which he produced not one, but two ten thousand yen notes, “Match and raised another ten thousand.”

Kaneo grinned and quipped, “Hope we’re not cuttin’ into your brownie makin’.”

Oji shrugged and looked to Sarah to make her move.

Sarah looked a little pale as she eyed the pot, and I was starting to think whatever she was plotting had gotten out of hand. The mousy little sophomore surprised me, however, by smirking and looking up at Jacques, “May I approach the dealer? I wish to enquire about the prospective value of something one-on-one.”

Jacques raised an eyebrow, “You may approach. Please keep your eyes on the ceiling.”

Sarah nodded and wearily hauled herself up, keeping her eyes carefully looking up as she shuffled over to the other side of the table. As she walked everyone carefully eyed her movements –especially Oji, whose gaze was a bit lower than everyone else’s. He caught himself and focused his eyes on his cards when Sarah leaned down to whisper to Jacques. As she did, Jacques started grinning, then full on smiled.

“I love it,” he declared, “I agree.”

Sarah grinned and made her way back to her seat, grabbing the pad on the way. Once she was sitting she started writing. While she scribbled away we eyed her hand carefully, unsure what she was planning. When she was done writing, she folded the sheet of paper and tossed it onto the pile.

“I call,” she stated, “One mystery paper, worth twenty-thousand yen.”

Kenji’s jaw dropped, George raised an eyebrow, Oji gulped, and Kaneo grinned and licked his tooth.

“Does our little underclassman tink she can play wit dah big boys?” he asked.

“There are no under or upperclassman here,” Sarah countered, “Only men. And a woman, this time.”

Kenji sighed and pulled out his own wallet, “To ensure the future of this university, I must learn what the mystery item is. So I call.”

George sighed down at his cards, “It’s too early for this kind of tension. I fold.”

Everyone turned to Kaneo, who chuckled and yanked out his wallet, tossing the cash onto the pile with a ring-glinted flourish, “Call. Ladies first, Sarah.”

Sarah smirked and revealed her hand, “Three Nine’s.”

“Impressive,” Kenji stated, “But my Baby Straight is more impressive.”

Kaneo grinned and licked his tooth, “My Straight is higher.”

Kenji got up to lean over the table at Kaneo’s cards. Once he was able to focus on them he swore under his breath; Kaneo had managed a Queen-High Straight, which explained where the cards I needed had most likely gone.

“Very nice,” Oji said, “Unfortunately, I believe my Full House wins out.”

“Dafuck?!” Kaneo snapped.

Oji laid out his cards and smirked lightly. He had managed three Kings and two Fives.

“…You know what, I ain’t even mad,” Kaneo stated. With a weary smirk he added, “Good hand, man.”

“Thank you.”

Oji started scooping up his winnings while everyone else stretched in their seats. Sarah’s stretch became a loud yawn, and when she was done she stood up and grabbed her overstuffed pack.

“Well, that was fun,” she said, “Thank you for inviting me, but I better get going so I can sleep for the rest of the day.”

“Glad you had fun,” George said.

“Come by again,” Jacques said, “Since Kenji said he won’t flip out.”

“Just make sure you can pay your own way next time,” Kaneo said, “My generosity has its limits.”

Sarah chuckled and gave a mock salute, “Understood. Oh, Oji?”

Oji looked up from his pile of winnings, “Yes?”

“I like aquariums,” She stated, before hefting her bag on her shoulders and walking out.

Oji blinked dumbly as he watched her leave. Kaneo was the first to say something.

“What did she mean by dat?”

Jacques grinned, “Read the final paper she added.”

Oji pulled the papers from the pile and started unfolding them, since it was hard to tell which one was added when. When he got to the last one, his eyes widened and he gulped.

“Oh sweet Harold and Kumar,” he muttered.

“What’s it say?” Kenji asked.

“…’The winner of this hand is entitled to one weekend date with Sarah Shirazy, at the location of the winner’s choosing, on condition that the winner handles the majority of expenses and understands that this is not permission for physical contact not initiated by the previously stated Sarah Shirazy’….”

While most of us just stared at Oji in slack-jawed confusion, Jacques started snickering and Kaneo burst into full-on laughter, rocking back so far in his chair he ended up falling over onto the floor.

“That bitch!” he called from the floor, “She played us all like a kokyu!”

“…I don’t know what to believe any more,” Kenji lamented, “I need to amp up my research. Fast.”

Kaneo, still laughing, hauled himself up so he was kneeling in front of the table, “Dat was wort it all, right dere!”

“You okay, man?” I asked Oji.

“…I think I might throw up,” he replied.

“Sounds about right,” Jacques mused, “Ah, young love! So pure, so innocent!”

Kaneo snorted, “After tonight, I don’t tink dere’s anyting about dat woman dat’s pure. She’s nearly as underhanded as Kenji.”

“Hey!” Kenji snapped, “How dare you accuse me of such actions! You’re the one corrupted by The Man to serve his nefarious deeds!”

Kaneo rolled his eyes, “Says dah pawn of dah moronic masses.”

“Oh give it a rest,” George groaned before Kenji burst a blood vessel, “It’s three in the morning on a weekday, for God’s sake. Let’s all go sleep and worry about who’s been corrupted by what next week.”

“First we gotta snap Oji out of it,” I said; he was still staring at the paper.

“I got this,” Kenji said. Grabbing the last potsticker, he carefully aimed and threw it at Oji. Surprisingly it managed to actually hit him in the head before slipping into his lap. Giving a sniff, Oji tore his eyes from the paper and looked down at the food, which he promptly grabbed and ate.

“Better?” I asked.

Oji nodded and grinned stupidly, “Guess I have a date to plan.”

“Seems like,” Kaneo said, “Now not tah be rude, but I got a class in seven hours, so anyone who doesn’t sleep here needs tah leave.”

“You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here,” Jacques added, “Oh, and thank Ikezawa for the potstickers for us.”

“I will,” I said, “Thanks for the brownies, Oji.”

“No problem,” he said, “…Where is the nearest aquarium?”

Lost in thought, Oji collected his winnings and shoved them into his pockets before wandering out the door. George took the little money he had left from Kaneo, stood up and stretched, thanked Kaneo and Jacques for their hospitality, and wandered back to his own dorm. Kenji and I did the same and left, wandering down the now empty and eerily silent hallway on our way to our own dorm room, which was two floors down.

As we wandered down the halls I sighed and mused, “Well that worked out surprisingly well. Oji sure has some incredible luck.”

Kenji nodded and scratched his chin thoughtfully, “Seems like it. Maybe I should look into his family history –there may be some sorta inherited clairvoyance or something.”

“Try to keep your delusions grounded in this reality,” I requested.

Kenji snorted, “Keep on doubting, man, but someday the time will come for the Reckoning, and I’ll be vindicated and shown for the genius that I was.”

“Sure, sure,” I said, “For now, the only thing I wanna be shown is my bed.”

+++

I apologize to the citizens of Osaka, New York, New Jersey, and south-eastern Pennsylvania for that accent.

Astute readers may notice this is a sort of sequel to the previous Movie Night. Astute readers may have also noticed my one shots getting insanely long. Hopefully you had fun in spite of that.

Now I must go and implement Operation: Summer Specials. For there is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

Just how I like it :wink:.

Until next time. /smokebomb
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Apr 16, 2014 4:35 pm

I sighed and folded; I was pretty sure Kaneo was bluffing, but George wouldn’t have kept going if he didn’t have a decent hand,
Now I'm far from an experienced poker player, but statitically I'd say that the odds that someone would have a better hand than four tens are quite astronomical...
0,007% to be precise (0,0015 for a straight flush plus 0,0055 for a higher suit of four).
Folding with a hand like that... seems more than stupid to me.

Oh, and one reason why I never liked poker - and probably never will - is that in games like the last one you can simply raise until everybody else drops out, so the richest one always wins^^°
Astute readers may have also noticed my one shots getting insanely long.
You don't even need to be very atute for that ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:02 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I sighed and folded; I was pretty sure Kaneo was bluffing, but George wouldn’t have kept going if he didn’t have a decent hand,
Now I'm far from an experienced poker player, but statitically I'd say that the odds that someone would have a better hand than four tens are quite astronomical...
0,007% to be precise (0,0015 for a straight flush plus 0,0055 for a higher suit of four).
Folding with a hand like that... seems more than stupid to me.
Never tell me the odds. It violates the Non-Aggression Pact math and I have.

I blame the lateness of the hour and too much caffeine.
Oh, and one reason why I never liked poker - and probably never will - is that in games like the last one you can simply raise until everybody else drops out, so the richest one always wins^^°
Thus the invention of the limit was born. I'm a lousy card player anyway; I prefer dice. They dislike me less (my poor orks....)
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Minion of Chaos » Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:24 am

Thoroughly enjoyed this one! Took me a bit to figure Sarah was Israeli (until conscription was mentioned), but I liked it. Looking forward to Summer now!

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:38 am

Minion of Chaos wrote:Thoroughly enjoyed this one!
Thanks :). It was fun to write, though it had some challenges because of the number of characters involved.
Took me a bit to figure Sarah was Israeli (until conscription was mentioned)
She never did give a proper answer about that comb....
Looking forward to Summer now!
So no pressure :wink:.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Lord_Atomsk » Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:19 am

It took me WAAAAAAY too long to realize that this Kaneo was the same one from Kill la Kill. Anyways was an awesome read, I always look forward to reading new things from you!

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Re: Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Spring Update

Post by Hoitash » Sat Apr 26, 2014 10:46 am

Lord_Atomsk wrote:It took me WAAAAAAY too long to realize that this Kaneo was the same one from Kill la Kill.
I was wondering if someone would notice that :).
Anyways was an awesome read, I always look forward to reading new things from you!
Thanks, and welcome to the forums.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8

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