Flower and Snow

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demonix
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Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Fri Apr 26, 2013 6:53 pm

Yep, it's another story from that black hole I call a brain (and one of the six I class as currently active stories, of which one is yet to have its first chapter completed).

The only difference this time (apart from the more regular spacing) is that I'm going to be leaving everyone in the dark (unless I have to clear things up), so the name of the MC and the romantic interest will only be released when I get to those parts in the story (although I have left a nice hint in the title).

One thing I will say is that for some of this story, I'll have no idea what I'm doing and some of this is likely to be part would happen in reality and part made up (that might be more for the MCs condition).

That's the opening banter finished, and now on with the mess I call a story.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Final Out

This is it...

It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded and the next few pitches that I throw will either take the team to the nationals or not.

We started trading runs through the early innings and managed to get a few runs ahead by the end of our ninth inning, but the pitcher had reached his limits and I was called in to give the team the best chance of winning the game.

I'm the teams secret weapon since nobody as yet has been able to hit anything I've thrown, but if I muck things up here then it's all over.

BADUM... BADUM... BADUM...

Now it's just me against the final batter, with my heartbeat as a guest player and my ears keeping track of the movements around me in case someone tries to trigger an attempt to steal home.

I receive the usual sign and wind up to deliver the first pitch.

“STRIKE!”

That's one pitch down and three to go, as long as I don't make a mistake.

I'm asked to deliver more of the same treatment, and I compose myself before throwing the next pitch.

BADUM... BADUM... BA-DARADARADARADA-DUM...

“BALL!”

What... the... heck....

I thought I'd thrown that straight, but it went way wide.

That bad pitch isn't the only problem as my heartbeat has started to include the occasional erratic beat, and it might be why I ended up sending that ball wide.

Now I've got to get this over and done with as my heartbeat is speeding up, and the erratic beats are still coming and I'm the only one who can end this.

The signal is the same again, and I wait for a break in the erratic traffic before winding up for the next pitch.

BADUM... BA-DARADARADA-DUM...

CRACK!

N-no way, he hit it.

“FOUL!”

That call gives me some relief since it means that I only need to deliver one more strike to end the game, but I can't just wait for a bit clearance in my heartbeat as it's starting to get more erratic with every second that passes.

I have to get this last pitch dealt so I can get some help, so I just ignore the sign, nod just in case, start winding up to deliver the pitch and then...

Nothing...

No noise from the crowd or the umpire.

Not even from my heart.

There's... nothing....

.

It's been two weeks since I threw that pitch that won the game, and it's only because of the swift actions of those who noticed that something was amiss and came to help that I'm still alive.

One thing I'm aware of at this point is that things are likely to change a great deal before I'm able to leave this hospital bed.

I haven't really been paying much attention to what has been said, but when I did the word 'heart condition' was mentioned and that it was a miracle that it hadn't hit a lot sooner since I started playing baseball seriously when I started at high school.

My parents weren't that shocked when they were told which made we wonder if they expected that it might happen, but I'm still recovering and can't really think about it that much.

However, from what I heard the whole team was wondering how I managed to throw that pitch in the condition I was in, but the doctors thought that I'd already released the ball from my hand by the time everything stopped for me.

Something that is certain is that this isn't going to be a quick fix, and that I might be in here for a while.

.


“How are you doing”, the doctor asked as he walked in.

“The same as always”, I said “although I'm not sure if that operation has done any good”.

“That is only the first stage in the process”, the doctor said “now we know more about the medical history of one side of your family, we can focus our efforts in controlling your condition more effectively”.

It took a lot of effort before my father finally said that this condition has affected a majority of his distant relatives, but he, along with his other brothers and sisters weren't affected.

Regardless of the fact that this condition did skip a generation, there is no cure and only a few of those affected with this before me have lived beyond the age of sixty.

“Any medications you're given will be the first line of defence in the fight to keep this in check”, the doctor said “the goal of these operations is to give you an extra line of defence which is similar to what one of your relatives had done, but that was later in his life”.

He did come to see how I was holding up yesterday, along with telling me a few stories about how he coped with the condition in the early years.

“Once we've gotten everything sorted you should live a pretty long life”, the doctor said “as long as you don't go overboard with the exercise”.

“There's something I need to discuss with the team”, I said “and I'd better do it sooner rather then later”.

Considering what I saw my mother holding a few days ago, what I need to do is pretty clear to me even if they weren't going to consider any drastic changes to my life.

.

“You're doing WHAT”, my father part said and part shouted.

“I thought that I'd said it quite clearly”, I said “I'm quitting the baseball team”.

“Why are you doing that”, my mother asked.

“I need to make changes to my lifestyle, and considering how harsh my training regimen was I can't take the risk that I'd end up having another attack”, I said “besides I know that your considering sending me to another school”.

“We haven't been considering anything”, my mother said.

“Then could you explain why you were holding information on a place called Yamaku Academy last week”, I said “if you weren't considering sending me elsewhere then why did you have all of that paperwork?”

“We just wanted to see what options are open to us if you couldn't go back to your old school”, my mother said “we would involve you if we were planning something like that”.

“I've already spoken with the team and they've agreed that I should stand down from the team”, I said “and a change in school might help my condition more then my current school”.

I had to take a few seconds to contemplate what to say next.

“There is something I've been asked to do before I officially stand down”, I said.

“You can't be considering going out onto the field again”, my mother said with a hint of concern in her voice.

“It's only going to be a single pitch”, I said “they said it's ceremonial and the doctor has given me the okay to go do this... as long as I return here afterwards”.

“As long as it's just one pitch”, my father said.

“The news has already gotten out”, the doctor said as he walked into the room holding a newspaper “if he backed out now, then it would disappoint a lot of people who would want to see him throw one last pitch before bowing out”.

He wasn't kidding about that as a day hasn't gone by since I came too in this hospital without a load of cards and flowers being delivered.

“There is one other thing”, I said “we might as well see what that school is like”.

“Are you certain about that”, my mother asked.

“I asked the doctor about it a few days ago”, I said “and it might be a better option as it would be better equipped to handle any problems then my current school”.

Another reason why I'm considering this now is that my presence at my current school might be a painful reminder to those in the team.

“There's plenty of time before you have to consider a transfer”, the doctor said “we should have you out of here in about one or two months time, and you'd be near the end of the second semester by that time so it might be better to transfer at the start of your third year”.

The doc does have a point, but I still have have to get through that short retirement celebration of sorts and my continual recovery.

And everything beyond that is yet to be known, but I do know that I won't be spending my final year at my current school.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I probably suck at writing in erratic heart beats.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:34 am

So far, I've noticed only one big and one small problem... Let's start with the big one:
If her father knew about the history of heart problems in his family, wouldn't he, you know, have his daughter checked by a doctor to see if she also has it before she almost dies?

And the small thing:
Japan has trimesters, not semesters.

Anyway, nice story so far. Your OC makes a nice counterpoint to Hisao...
If I didn't know that you tend to make all your OCs into heroes, I wouldn't be quite as worried.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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LorSquirrel
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by LorSquirrel » Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:49 am

I like it so far, keep writing.

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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:50 am

Hmm. Some things of note. The first section was in present tense, and the entire latter (beginning with "how are you doing") section in past tense. You definitely want to change on or the other to keep it consistent. Secondly, after that latter half began, the frequency of errors increased dramatically. I'm not going to list them all, but it was quite jarring compared to the relatively well-written first half.

Also, I have no idea how Mirage gathered that the character was female. I didn't notice any identifying characteristics and still didn't on a skimmed second read-through. That said, with the apparent heart condition, I assumed it was Rika. But hey, I've been wrong about things before. I'll watch and see how this plays out.
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:38 am

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:Also, I have no idea how Mirage gathered that the character was female. I didn't notice any identifying characteristics and still didn't on a skimmed second read-through.
It's just a guess - Let's hope it's a lucky one ;-)
And if it turns out to be Rika, there has to be some extremely traumatic experience in the furture to change her personality this drastically - if she brushed off the heart condition without a second thought, what whould it take to change this character into the Rika we know?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Guest Poster » Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:01 pm

And if it turns out to be Rika, there has to be some extremely traumatic experience in the furture to change her personality this drastically - if she brushed off the heart condition without a second thought, what whould it take to change this character into the Rika we know?
But do we really know Rika other than the fact she was an april's fools joke? An interesting question...once certain fanfics establish characters in a certain way and a certain amount of people accept these interpretations as fanon, should future fanfic writers cater to these interpretations in their own stories or should they just go with whatever they like because fanon is subjective anyway?
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Doomish
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Doomish » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:22 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote: And if it turns out to be Rika, there has to be some extremely traumatic experience in the furture to change her personality this drastically - if she brushed off the heart condition without a second thought, what whould it take to change this character into the Rika we know?
To be fair, there is no "the Rika we know" other than her description on the April Fools blog post.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:19 pm

I admit "the Rika we know" wasn't phrased optimally^^°
Still the OC in this story does not even fit the rudimentary description in the April Fools blogpost.
Not to mention that Rika is a second year - a fact that I'd forgotten about until I just checked the post.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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demonix
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Mon May 27, 2013 6:25 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:It's just a guess - Let's hope it's a lucky one ;-)
Unfortunately, it isn't a lucky guess as the MC is male but with a name that is more commonly used for girls (baseball in Japan is a male dominated sport) which is where part of the title of the story comes from (the MC is a second year at the start of the story, but doesn't transfer to Yamaku until the start of his third year).

Things should become clearer in the next chapter, but after a bit of time thinking I've decided to re-write one part of that chapter (and after reading what Mirage has said, I think it is needed).

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demonix
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:32 pm

A little update since it's been at least 4 months since I posted in this thread.

Chapter 2 has now been completed, but it needs only the slightest of tweaks before I can post it (and I haven't had a chance to alter the first chapter, but what I've put into this chapter will show what I've changed about the condition the MC has).

Another problem I have is it has grown to quite a size (I think it has), so I'll have to break it into two parts and hope it doesn't break the page for certain browsers (I think there's around another 6 posts that have to be posted after this before it goes to a second page).

Something I will reveal (but will be kept behind a spoiler) is that a majority of the K-On cast will feature in the last part of the chapter.

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demonix
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:53 pm

The work on chapter two is now complete, but the addition I made wasn't what I had planned on adding.

As I said previously, I haven't gotten around to altering one part of the first chapter so I don't want any complaints about one part of this chapter (although there might have to be some changes to the early part of this chapter).

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, it's time to start the mayhem broken into two posts since I don't want to go OTT on a single post since this chapter comes in at just over 10000 words.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The final pitch, and starting again.

It's been about a week since I had that conversation with my parents, and the time for my final pitch before I step off the mound forever is approaching fast.

Even though my doctor did give the go-ahead for this, they didn't expect it to be happening this soon, but the team thought that doing this during the nationals would mean that I can focus one hundred percent on my recovery.

Not that it mattered as I'm guessing that I'm at around fifteen percent of my old self, and I haven't mentioned my impending transfer to anyone except for my parents.

Clearing my mind of any negative thoughts, I pick up my glove and start walking towards the field with the support team from the hospital following behind.

I walked out onto the field, and a massive cheer came from the crowd as I acknowledged them whilst walking towards the mound.

My guess as to my current fitness level looks to be correct as I'm a bit exhausted once I get to the mound, although the heat could be a factor but then I'm not a doctor.

After taking a few seconds to recover and to check that my heartbeat is as normal as it should be, I looked towards the support team who had remained under cover and nodded to confirm that everything is okay, and then I looked towards the catcher and nodded again to confirm that I'm ready to receive the ball.

The noise from the crowd started to subside as I started my preparations to throw this one pitch.

This might just be a single pitch that starts the match, but if I screw this up then it can easily put a dent in my short career as a pitcher.

With my preparations now complete and the noise from the crowd now non existent, I looked towards the catcher so I can get my aim correct, started the wind up and then threw the ball.

That pitch probably wasn't as fast as my usual pitches, but it still went straight and true towards the catchers glove and when the ball hit the glove dead centre the crowd erupted in another massive cheer.

Now that my part in this game had come to an end, I walked off the field as the rest of the team started taking their places.

My time in the limelight is now over, and what happens when I finally leave the hospital even I wouldn't know.

.

As the bus I just got on pulls away from the train station, a question I've been trying to avoid answering for the past few weeks decides to come back to the surface.

Was it a good idea to leave this transfer until the start of the school year?

If you look at it from a learning prospective it would be a good idea as something that hasn't been taught in the old school might have been taught in the new school, but... after everything that has happened to me, I feel that I should have gone after I was discharged from the hospital.

The initial estimate of how long I would be in the hospital had to be extended by an extra month as the doctor decided that I should have a pacemaker fitted just to be safe, but things started to change after I returned to school and had refused an offer to remain on the baseball team as a pitching coach.

It wasn't all that bad in the beginning since I did explain that my reasons for refusing were because I had to focus on my continuing recovery, but things started changing dramatically when everyone returned from winter break.

We'd decided to take one day to look around Yamaku and to get the transfer started well ahead of time, but some of my classmates had decided to drop by on the same day and they asked me why I wasn't there which lead me to lie to them when I said that we'd gone to visit a relative in the country.

Things started going downhill from then as initially only some of my friends started gravitating away from me, but once the teacher announced my transfer to the class near the end of the school year, the 'I've got things to do' and other statements from my remaining friends increased.

Even during the spring break they wouldn't give me the time of day, so I decided to end the torture by packing as much as I could carry along with enough money to tide me over and headed to Yamaku over a week before the start of the school year.

My parents thought that I was jumping the gun along with my younger sisters, but I didn't think that there was anything left for me there so I ignored their advice and told them to send up the rest of my stuff.

I may have wanted to go early to get away from everyone I knew, but I also wanted to think about what I was going to do once I graduated and I couldn't do that with the older of my two younger sisters being an annoying idiot.

A sudden thump brought me back to reality, and a quick look out of the window told me that we're about to pass through the town that is at the bottom of the hill Yamaku is situated on.

After resisting the urge to get off the bus a stop early and walking up the hill, I spent the rest of the time before the bus arrived at my final destination sorting out my bags so that I'll be as ready as I can be to get off the bus.

The main gate still looks as intimidating as it did during my initial visit even though I only saw it from the car while my father was looking for the parking lot, but I put all that to the back of my mind as I walked towards the gate and thankfully found it unlocked.

It didn't take me that long to get the gate open, and once I'd gotten onto the school grounds and closed the gate behind me I pulled a small notebook out of one of the bags and opened it to its first page where I'd written a note as to where I needed to go once I got here.

'Report to main office in auxiliary building to get your room and class assignment and to collect room key and uniforms. Also remember to check in with head nurse afterwards as long as he's on duty'.

Since I'd already had a tour of the major buildings on the school grounds I won't have to walk around aimlessly looking for the auxiliary building, so I picked up my bags and started walking down the path remembering that I needed to take a left turn when I get close to the school building.

Something that was unusual when I walked through the door into the auxiliary building is that there are sounds of activity echoing down the corridor as I doubt there would be any students around, but there could be a small amount of staff dealing with paperwork, sorting out any uniform deliveries and having meetings if they did those things.

It turns out that the source of a majority of the noise is coming from the single female member of staff in the main office who is talking on the phone when I get there, and when she notices me standing by the door, she abruptly ends the call and walks in my direction.

“I'm sorry, but only students and staff are allowed here”, she said.

“I am a student, or I will will be in over a week”, I said “the name in Yuki Azuma”.

The look on the face of the staff member changes to a look I've seen before whenever I've mentioned my name.

“I know, a platypus walks into a bar. I've heard them all before”, I said which resulted in a confused look from the member of staff “I've been asked about my name several times, and the only answer I could give is that I really don't know”.

I've had to deal with all the questions about my not so masculine name since grade school, but things got a bit worse when I got into high school and joined the baseball team as it turned out that I share a name with a space cadet character from a baseball animé which some of the seniors in the team took full advantage of.

I did however manage to pay them back with interest during practice where they found out that I wasn't like my namesake.

The member of staff decided not to press the matter further, and walked over to one of the desks where she picked up a stack of papers and proceeded to look through them muttering each name under her breath until she pulled two sheets that looked to have been stapled together out of the pile and placed the rest back where she got them from.

“Yuki Azuma”, She said looking at the second sheet “you're in class three, and your in room three on the first floor of the boys dorm. Also, was there supposed to be another person coming along with you?”

“Not that I'm aware of”, I said looking confused as to why I was asked that.

“It's just that another record with the same family name was attached to yours”, she said “it's for a first year with the name Yumi”.

I didn't think the my parents would send her here. I mean, I know that she has had some problems with her high school entrance exams but I didn't think that it was bad enough for my parents to consider sending her here.

“I'll need to get you room key and uniforms”, the staff member said “it'll take a bit of time so you should check in with the head nurse in the meantime”.

At least I know that I won't have to wait for my initial check-up, but it might be that he's going through all the records for the new students.

“You can leave your bags here while you see the nurse”, the member of staff said as I'm picking up my bags “his office is on the first floor around half way down the main corridor”.

Not wanting to waste too much time on this, I quickly moved the bags into the office and headed towards the stairs but as I reached the first floor, I ended up coming to a halt as I walking into a girl who had come around the corner to go down the stairs.

She let out a gasp just after the collision, but when I had a good look at her I started to get this vague feeling that I knew her.

What kept me from saying anything or just trying to confirm my own suspicions is that my own memory is a bit fuzzy, and that she has let her bangs grow abnormally long on the right side but I can see some scarring which might cover most of that side of her face.

This little staring contest didn't last long as the look on her face changed from what I'd call normal to absolutely terrified, and seconds after that she ran away pushing me aside in the process.

I'm not really sure now this little speech less meeting ended like that, but then there could be people here whose problems go beyond physical injuries so I peeled myself off the wall and continued onto my destination.

Each door looks the same as I walk past them apart from the names on them, but at around the place the member of staff in the office has mentioned the door on my left had the words 'head nurse' above the name of the person who resides in this room for whatever amount of time that he's on duty.

Since I want to get settled in sooner rather then later, I knock on the door immediately after I reached it only to end up with an illegible response from the other side.

It didn't take me too long to figure out what the response was, so I opened the door and walked into what looked like any other head nurses office in any normal school down to the posters on the walls.

“I didn't think that you'd take that long to open the door”, the occupant of the office said.

“It didn't take that long”, I said “about twenty seconds passed before I opened the door maybe even less”.

“I was only pulling your leg”, the man said with his fox like grin starting to spread across his face “it's Yuki Azuma isn't it? We met briefly during your visit last year, but I wasn't expecting you to turn up this soon”.

“I... needed to think about my future”, I said “and I couldn't do that with two girls running around and being annoying”.

“It's getting close to that time, so giving serious thought to what you want to do when you leave is a good thing”, the nurse said “now sit down while I find your records so we can get this examination done. It's not every day we have a well known baseball player here”.

“Has been”, I muttered as I sat down on the chair next to the nurse.

The nurse didn't seem to have noticed what I'd said as he started looking through several stacks of files and pulled out what I'd have to guess is my file which he started looking through while quietly uttering some of what is written under his breath.

While he is reading through my file, my mind starts to wander back to that brief encounter in the corridor and why I had that sense of familiarity when I looked at that girl.

“Is there something on you mind, or am I just boring you”, the nurse asked.

“It's just that I ran into someone on the way up here”, I said with my nerves starting to get the better of me “and there was something unusual about her”.

“What did she look like”, the nurse asked.

“A bit shorter then me with around waist length dark hair, but with the bangs on the right side grown longer”, I said trying to remember every detail I could “and there were some... scars on her face”.

“I don't think that she would like being referred to as unusual”, the nurse said.

“I-I didn't mean it like that”, I blurted out “it's just that I had this unusual feeling that I'd seen her before, but I can't remember when”.

“If you did know her, then it should come to you in time”, the nurse said “old memories can get buried under everything else and one little thing could bring them back to the surface”.

I just nodded in response, but getting back to my own thoughts, if you factor out any scars beyond those I saw she's a real cutie.

“Lets get the rest of this examination done”, the nurse announced “I want to at least get through a few of these files today”.

Silence descended as the more physical part of the examination started with the usual check on my heart and blood pressure.

“Have you taken up any physical activities since your stay in the hospital”, the nurse asked.

“My doctor did suggest that I try to get my physical fitness back to where it was”, I said “I started jogging short distances after I left the hospital and I currently do one kilometre total distance twice a week”.

“It looks like you've got a level head on your shoulders”, the nurse said with what looked like disappointment etched into his face “although I think you should consider some alternatives as we do have a swimming pool along with other facilities, but that is just because I don't want to disappoint your fans on the first day of school if you can't attend class”.

“I have fans here”, I asked.

“A few of the female members of the track and field teams are”, the nurse said “but I think that girl you walked into could be considered your biggest fan”.

Considering the way she reacted after what could be considered a few seconds of looking at each other, I never expected to hear the words 'she might be your biggest fan' from anyone.

“That's the examination done with”, the nurse said “just remember to take what I've said into consideration since making some changes or additions to your current exercise regimen could help you”.

I acknowledged what he's said with a nod, and returned to my feet to start the process of sorting my clothing out before heading back down to the main office to collect my bags and what the member of staff had to get.

When I returned to the ground floor, my ears are once again picking up the slight sounds of someone talking, and as I reach the door to the main office I find that the source of the voice is in there.

“I know that the new students weren't supposed to arrive until next week, but he turned up out of the blue a little while ago. You're the only one I knew I could contact since your the ears of the class rep, and he is going to be a classmate in just over a week so an early introduction might be a good thing to do. Oh! I think he's returning so I'll have to give you the details in a little while”.

I walked through the door to be greeted by the member of staff putting the phone down, and a package heavily wrapped in plastic placed on one of the chairs which looked to be the school uniforms she had to find.

“It looks like we have another problem”, the staff member said rather nervously “the uniforms have been grouped together as well and I didn't want to remove the plastic in case it started raining”.

I looked towards the chair she is pointing at, and slung over the backrest is what looks like several uniforms although I couldn't tell which of the batch beyond the first is mine and which belong to my sister, that is if she's being sent here.

“I'll take them with me”, I said “if they are who I think they're for, it'll make hauling them to their final destination a little bit easier”.

The staff member quickly went and looked through the two sheets of paper, and once she was happy with whatever she'd been looking at she headed back to the door picking up the uniforms and a key on the way.

“I forgot to tell you that your desk is the third in from the window on the back row”, the staff member said “the seating arrangements have been changed so the person who used to sit there has been moved to the desk one row in front and a bit to the right”.

That is probably her way of telling me that if someone tells me that I'm sitting at their desk, I can tell them that they've been moved to another desk.

“That's good to know”, I said “I'd better get moving so I can get settled in”.

“There is one thing before you go”, the staff member said looking rather nervous “I need your signature”.

Now one autograph down and the amount of stuff I'm carrying increased by several uniforms, I decided to head to the dorm buildings firstly to settle in and secondly to think about my future whilst wallowing in my own misery.

.

If this was any other Sunday I'd probably be spending the time indoors while wallowing in my newly found misery, but I can't do that as someone has been knocking on my door on and off for the past ten minutes.

I thought that most would have taken the hint that I wasn't going to come to the door after the second or third knocking, but that was about twenty knocks ago and the person who is out there is still going.

However, I think there might be two people outside the door as I heard two distinctive knocks a few times, but it might still be one person knocking with both hands.

“We know you're in there~”, a voice boomed through the door “we were told that you'd turned up early and we had to come a long way to get here~, so we're not leaving until you open the door~”.

If it had been later in the day then I could have just stayed in here and put my not coming to the door to not being in there at the time, but they must have decided to make sure that they turned up early enough so that kind of excuse couldn't be used.

Since any chance of thinking and wallowing in misery had ended when whoever is standing outside the door turned up, I decided to put everything on hold and got out of bed to deal with the person or persons on the other side of the door.

“I'm not interested if your selling anything”, I said jokingly after I'd opened the door a bit.

“That's not funny~”, the loud voice said “could you at least open the door fully~”.

Since I didn't want to have a door hit me and cause any unnecessary problems, so I opened the door fully to reveal two girls one of whom had bright pink hair, and from the looks on their faces I can safely say that... they are not fans.

“It's about time~ you opened up”, the loud mouthed, pink haired girl said “I didn't even have enough time to get my hair sorted before being dragged up here~”.

“I wasn't expecting any kind of welcoming committee before the start of the school year”, I said “besides, this could be sorted out at that time”.

“Conducting a tour of the facilities is better when there aren't many people around”, the megaphone with legs said.

“I've already had a tour of the facilities when I came here during winter break”, I said “my doctor thought it would be better if I transferred in at the start of the year”.

That caused a sudden gesture fuelled conversation between the two girls, and it ended with an eardrum breaking laugh from the pink haired noise polluter.

“Change of plans~ then”, the pink haired loud mouth said “since you've already had a tour of the school, then lets change it to a tour of the local town so lets go go go”.

“Cool your jets, Murray”, I said “I need to get changed so you'll have to wait a bit until I'm done”.

“It's Misha, not Murray”, the pink haired loudspeaker shouted as I closed the door even though she hadn't mentioned her name before.

With those two now out of my hair for a little while, I looked through what little I had brought in the way of clothing since I had to include as much food as I could fit but this tour does have its advantages since we only went to one place in the local town and I wasn't paying too much attention to the rest of it.

It didn't take too long for patience to get the better of at least one of the two girls as the door to my room burst open just seconds after I'd pulled my underwear and trousers up.

“Just how long are you going to take getting dressed”, the loud mouth called Misha asked.

It's only been around four minutes since I closed the door, but that isn't the important matter at the moment.

“Your just lucky that you didn't barge in a lot sooner”, I said while adjusting my trousers “if you had, then you would have seen a full moon”.

I think it must have taken a bit for her to cotton on that if they'd walked in any sooner, the first thing they would have seen was my backside.

With those two possibly silently discussing the finer points of barging into a guys room without confirming if he is fully dressed, I went to get the only jacket I brought with me from the wardrobe but doing that only added to the questioning.

“Why do you have girls uniforms in your wardrobe”, Misha asks without bothering to look any further then what she can see.

“You'll probably find out at the start of the new school year”, I said opening up the other door to show the other uniforms.

“I thought that you would have gotten more then three~ uniforms”, Misha said “I was given five~ when I started here”.

“Only one set was found when I arrived here”, I said “I was only told about a second set on Friday but I decided to leave them until my parents turn up with the rest of my things”.

Along with the older of my two younger sisters and all of her things, but I'm not going to say that out loud in case I'm wrong.

“Since your now fully dressed~”, Misha said “we should get this tour of the town under way~”.

With that said, the two girls walked out of my room and just for a second I thought about closing the door and remaining here but it would be pointless since those two would be back and banging on the door in a heartbeat, so I followed them out and closed the door behind me which caused the motor mouth to look back in my direction probably to make sure I'd actually left the room.

Most of the route we took was exactly the same I'd taken two days ago to start the second of my weekly jogs, but the rest when we went passed the park I'd used to conduct that jog is unfamiliar even though I'd gone to one place in town when I came up here a few months ago.

I tried to keep a mental record of most of what Misha is saying on our haphazard route around town, but as we turned into one street I suddenly had a feeling about where we're going.

“Are we heading towards the Shanghai”, I asked.

“How do you know about the Shanghai”, Misha asked in response to my question.

“We were told about it during my first visit here”, I said “and my parents decided to bring us down before we headed back home”.

“Why did you tell us that you'd already been to the town”, Misha said angrily.

“After walking around the school, I wasn't paying that much notice when walking around the town”, I said “and that hill turned into a mountain on the return trip before heading back home, so I wasn't that interested in retaining much information from the previous few minutes”.

“We're using it as a halfway resting point on our tour~”, Misha said “the aura mart will be our final destination on this tour”.

At least they decided to leave the convenience store until last as I need to get a few things so I can keep going until my parents turn up with the rest of my stuff.

And my little sisters as well, but that won't be happening for a few days and I don't even know if I'm correct about Yumi being a student here.

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demonix
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:54 pm

Part 2

Tuesday morning greets me with the sound of my alarm clock and not by someone banging on the door, but today I can't be spending all the time just in here since my parents should be on their way here by now with the rest of the stuff I need.

Since I didn't even know if they'd set off yet, I decided not to wait for any notifications and got myself ready to head out to the main gate since they would have to go pass it to get to the parking lot.

As I walked from my room to the exit of the dorm building, I could hear a bit more noise then I did over the past few days which probably means that the return of existing students and of students that will be starting here at the start of the school year has started.

The same can be said for the school grounds whilst I walk towards the school gate as I can hear slight sounds of activity, possibly from people running coming from the general direction of the school building which is near the running track.

My brief review of the increased activity on campus ended with my phone wailing at me with a message from the annoying brat telling me that they would be arriving within the next half hour, and wondering if I knew why her stuff is being brought as well.

That message all but confirmed that she will be spending the next three years here and hasn't been told about it yet, but I'd have to wonder why since even with her entrance exam problems there must be at least one high school out there that would take her.

Since I now have an estimated time as to when they will arrive, I decided to slow my walking pace which didn't impress the nurse when I walked passed him but that changed when I told him where I'm going and what I'll be doing although he did tell me not to overexert myself as he walked away.

Even with the decrease in pace I arrived at the main gate with excessive time to spare, but either that annoying brat of a sister gave me an incorrect estimate or they managed to make up some time somewhere as an unfamiliar vehicle went past me with some very familiar people inside it.

Once I'd realised that my parents must have rented a larger vehicle to get all our stuff here, I headed off towards the parking lot where upon arriving I found the vehicle parked up and its occupants getting out of it as I walked towards them.

“That's a funny half an hour”, I shouted “it's only been around ten minutes since I got that message”.

That started a discussion between my mother and Yumi, but my father decided to skip the debate and headed in my direction.

“I'm guessing that you already know about where Yumi is going to school”, my father whispered.

“I did suspect something after I arrived here, and that message I got pretty much confirmed things”, I whispered “someone'll have to go to the main office to collect the keys to her room along with the rest of our uniforms as they were grouped together in two batches and I have some of Yumi's uniforms in my room”.

“I'll deal with that then”, my father whispered “you lot should start moving your stuff to your room, and I'll join you there once I'm done with this”.

“I'm in room one-zero-three”, I whispered “that's in the boys dormitory”.

My father just nodded after I gave him that information, and he walked back to my mother to say something to her before heading towards the school buildings.

By the time I reached the vehicle my mother had already extracted a suitcase from the back along with a few boxes, but the most important item to her had already been extracted or had been kept in the front of the vehicle with her since I did have a feeling that she would want to add to our slowly expanding memory albums.

“Lets get this done as quickly as possible”, my mother announced “we've got a lot of stuff to move and not that much time to move it all”.

“Then could someone explain why I'm here”, Yumi barked while trying to keep my youngest sister under control “and why my things have been brought here”.

I decided to let my mother make up some reason until the truth finally comes out, and picked up two of the boxes that had been extracted from the back of the vehicle and headed in the same direction my father had gone in to get back onto the school grounds and headed towards the dorm buildings.

The debate as the why my annoying younger sisters stuff had been brought along with mine didn't last too long, as it ended the moment my mother locked up the vehicle and started to follow me when whatever she is carrying.

My younger sister did, however, manage to keep quiet for a majority of the walk since she had other things on her plate, but the moment we reached the door to my room it went back to business as usual.

“Why isn't your room on the ground floor”, Yumi groaned “your condition should allow you to have a room on a lower floor”.

“Because that is where the common room, communal kitchen and laundry room are located”, I said “they cover a majority of the ground floor so you can't have any rooms down there”.

“Then where do you wash or go to the toilet”, Yumi asked.

“Over there”, I said pointing down towards the end of the corridor “that's where the wash facilities are and the toilet is over there”.

I quickly unlocked and opened the door to my room just to avoid answering any further questions directed at me from my younger sister.

“It's bigger then I expected”, Yumi said after she'd had a look around my room “I thought it would have only been big enough for a bed and desk”.

“They have to consider everyone here”, I said once I'd placed the two boxes on the floor “that's why the corridors are wider along with the doors and there's a lift. You can't have postage stamp rooms when some of the residents would have some mobility issues or any other problems”.

My youngest sister decided to make a beeline for my bed as my mother and Yumi placed the suitcase and third box that had been pulled from the vehicle out of the way.

“Was it really necessary to bring all that stuff”, I asked “all I'd need is some casual clothes and a few other items. I most certainly won't be needing my old training tools”.

“We thought that you might need it”, my mother said “exercise is important as your doctor told you and it should help, at least with your arms”.

“I'd already decided to abandon baseball, so I didn't need to have a reminder of that in my room”, I said as I opened one of the boxes I'd been carrying “and I most certainly didn't need these”.

“I thought that you future classmates would have wanted to see how cute you looked many years ago”, my mother said.

These four books which make up my memory album is something I really didn't need here since one book is currently dedicated to my short high school baseball career, and most of the first is from before we moved which I haven't-.

“What the heck is wrong with you now”, Yumi said “your staring a that book rather intently”.

“Hush, You”, I said adding in a little insult “your not helping”.

Well I am looking at the book rather intently, but that is because that vague feeling I had last week when I accidentally bumped into that girl in the auxiliary building has resurfaced and now I know why it happened.

The pictures I'm looking at were taken when I was five, however it isn't my antics in the pictures that got my attention but the girl who is in the picture with me since if the girl I bumped into last week had shorter hair without the longer bangs on the right side then they would look identical if you excluded the scars as well.

“It's her”, I said showing the page to my mother and pointing to one of the pictures even thou she's in all the pictures on that page “I think she's a student here”.

“Oh, the Ikezawa's kid”, my mother said “I think they might have moved after we did as we didn't get any response from the letters that were sent, and their number had been disconnected when I tried to call them around seven months after we moved”.

That's my mother for you, she has a good memory when it comes to family names which turns lousy for given names, but I'm not one to talk since I can only remember some of the names of the people I knew back then, although I think one part of her name literally means flower in English.

“Who is she”, a voice asks from behind me.

“This was from well before you were born”, I said looking back at my youngest sister “and before we had to move”.

“Didn't you have a massive crush on her”, Yumi said.

“What would you know”, I said snapping at my younger sister “you was only five years old when we moved”.

“By then I was old enough to understand why you acted the way you did when you was around her”, Yumi said “but you've always been the shy type so the two of you matched”.

“That was until he entered high school”, my mother said interrupting Yumi “getting into the baseball team was the turning point in his going from shy to a confident person”.

My mother took another look at the pictures before continuing to speak, directing what she is going to say at my youngest sister.

“Her parents moved in next door a few months before she was born, but we didn't get to know them until I had to go to the hospital”, my mother said “even though they were born six hours apart, on paper they were born one day apart”.

She paused for a few seconds to think about what to say next.

“We got along with them quite well after we left the hospital, as did the kids even though they were quite shy and the circle of friends they formed over the years was small”, my mother continued “but it came to an end when your father was promoted and we had to move to Tokyo as his new job wasn't at the local office”.

“That was a time I'd rather forget about”, I said suddenly remembering that time “I lost track of how many apartments we had to live in until we finally moved into our current home, and that meant that we weren't finally settled until over five months after we actually moved”.

“The promotion came out of the blue, and as the new job started a week we had to move then and there as I didn't want the rest of the family to be miles away”, my father said as he walked into the room “and I'd have to guess that you three have been reminiscing about the past”.

“Well, Sei asked a question about a picture”, my mother said “but Yuki started it as he said that this girl is possibly a student here”.

“Are you certain”, my father asked after looking at the picture.

“As certain as I can be considering what I saw”, I said as I started to trace a line down the centre of my face with my finger “her bangs have been grown long on the right side of her face possibly to conceal any scars underneath, and I don't even know her name”.

“How could you even know if there are scars there if you didn't see them”, Yumi asked.

“There would probably be other visible scars, or there are some scars on her face that the hair doesn't fully cover”, my mother said “it would be safe to conclude that the longer bangs on one side are to cover those up”.

“Was my brother too lazy to pick up his own uniforms”, Yumi asked finally noticing what my father is carrying.

“They're not all for him”, my father said as he showed Yumi the key he is holding in his right hand “I'll give you three guesses who the rest are for, but you'll only need one”.

Yumi still didn't get the hint, so I decided to help by removing one of the uniforms that had been in the set I'd taken from the wardrobe and showing it to her.

“Why in the heck am I being sent here”, Yumi shouted.

“You brought it upon yourself by not studying for your high school entrance exams”, I said “just because you got good scores on your finals doesn't mean you can go into your entrance exams unprepared and expect to pass”.

“We decided to have you considered for enrolment here in case you failed your entrance exams”, my father said “it wasn't set in stone until we knew if you'd gotten into another school, so I had to come back here to get you fully enrolled along with sorting out the tuition fees”.

“B-but this is a school for disabled people”, Yumi shouted “they can't just accept a normal person just because they don't have another school to go to”.

“The primary goal of this school is to help those with disabilities get the education they wouldn't get at any other high school”, I said “it's not a school just for the disabled, so anyone can come here as long as they can pay the fees”.

That is true since apart from a case of obsessive loudness disorder there isn't anything I could see wrong with Misha, and she did mention that she wanted to become a sign language teacher which also earned her a substantial reduction in her tuition fees.

“Just how are you going to pay for her tuition”, I asked since I'd been kept in the dark about Yumi becoming a student here “I know mine wasn't a problem, but this is going to be around three times that and I doubt that they would have given any discounts”.

“I managed to negotiate a good deal for Yumi's tuition”, my father said “if your fees are added, it comes to just over what anyone else would pay for three years but we did have to go into the reserve fund to pay for it”.

And that is my father for you, always negotiating to get the best deal for himself although I didn't expect that he'd dip into that reserve fund my parents have been putting money into over the past decade.

“We should get back to unpacking everything”, my mother announced “there's a lot of stuff to move, and we're just wasting time standing here talking”.

“The first thing that we should do is get the uniforms sorted out”, I suggested “and then head over to the loud annoyances room to drop off her uniforms before we get back to moving the rest of the stuff”.

It didn't take me that long to remove the plastic the uniforms are wrapped in, and like the other package each uniform had a tag attached to the hanger to identify the person it is for, but this set also included gym clothes and a swimsuit for each of us even though my condition would exclude me from gym class.

I did, however, ask that I not be excluded completely since my level of fitness is now at a point where I can do about an hour of exercise without getting too exhausted.

Once I'd moved everything that is for me into the wardrobe and extracted the remainder of Yumi's uniforms to add to those on the bed, everyone started to get ready to continue moving everything that had been brought here with the departure from my room starting once I'd handed Yumi her uniforms.

One thing my father didn't divulge until we'd done the walk from my room to the entrance of the girls' dorm building is that Yumi has been assigned a room on the top floor of the building, and that's a lot of stairs for her to complain about climbing every day.

Her room is about the same size as mine which caused another round of complaints, but my mother put her foot down and told Yumi to put her uniforms in the wardrobe so we can continue on with moving everything into their respective rooms.

.

It took around an hour and a half for what happened to be all of my stuff to be moved into my room, and now I'm sorting it all out while everyone else is moving the rest of the stuff into Yumi's room.

This has given me some time to take it a bit easier while I put my clothes away and sort out the contents of the boxes, but something that wasn't necessary is the practice device I concocted to help with my pitching along with the four boxes that are filled with baseballs.

Having those brought here makes me wonder if my parents have been listening to me over the past few months, but they said was that exercise is important although I'll probably end up using it for stress relief or anything else that might happen.

As I started packing away my clothes, I found another example of my parents not listening to my requests as at the bottom of one of the suitcases is one of what was many baseball team uniforms I had.

That is something that is absolutely unnecessary out here, but there isn't much point in arguing about it now so I stuck it in a drawer by itself so I didn't have to see it until I had to pack at the end of the school year.

The same couldn't be said for the remaining unnecessary items, but there are a few places in here where some of them can be put out of sight for the time being.

Getting everything packed away or just put out of sight didn't take as long as bringing it all up here, but as I laid down on my bed to rest I felt there is something I'm forgetting about.

What it was came back to me god knows how long later when I heard someone banging on the door.

“Have you changed into your uniform yet”, my mother asks through the door “we're waiting on you now”.

Oh yes, the obligatory first day photo even though the first day isn't until next week although this would be the only day my mother would be able to get photos of the both of us in our uniforms.

“I'll be out in a minute”, I called through my empty room “I've just got to get changed”.

“Don't go taking your time”, my mother said through the door “Yumi wants to start organising her room, and you know how long something like that can take”.

Since I didn't want to get on the wrong of Yumi just before she wants to start one of her mammoth organising sessions, I quickly got off the bed and walked over to the wardrobe to pick one if the five identical uniforms to wear.

Something I don't like about this uniform is the colour as I would stick out like a sore thumb if I go off campus while wearing it since it would identify me as someone who is 'different' to the locals, but the voice of one person won't be able to change something as minor as the colour of the blazer and trousers of a school uniform and I had to get ready so that these photos can be done, but while I'm halfway done changing another knock nearly made me head-but the floor.

“Your minute is up”, Yumi called through the door “get your ass out here so these photos can be done and I can go and sort out my room”.

“Your being too literal”, I called towards the door “I'll be ready in a bit so don't get your panties in a bunch”.

All I got after that it a loud thud on the door as I'm left to finish off getting changed into the uniform.

Now I have to hope that Yumi doesn't shout the school down on the first day, or any other day.

Considering the rules here, it might just happen if she doesn't abide by them.

.

“That'll be 5720 yen”, the assistant at the checkout said.

I extracted the small bag Yumi had given me a little over an hour ago to pay for this lot expecting that there would be a shortfall that I would have to cover, only to find that she'd given me the exact amount.

She must have come remembered all the prices when I brought her down here three days ago, but since she is still working on organising her room I'm the one who has to do her shopping.

Coming down here is better then being on the school grounds or in my room in the dorm building as the real exodus into the school started this morning, and I was rudely awoken by the other people moving back into their rooms.

Once the checkout operator had figured out what I already knew about the amount of money I'd handed over, I picked up the bags and headed back to Yamaku hoping that the inbound exodus along with all the chaos had subsided.

Getting to the outskirts of the town didn't cause too many problems, but as I approached the hill that I had to walk up to get to Yamaku I knew that I'm going to struggle especially since I have the extra weight of these shopping bags.

Around half way up the hill the weight of the bags really started taking a toll on my arms, so I stopped for a little bit to allow the discomfort in my arms to subside and to rest up for the last leg of this trip.

I decided to rest up for about five minutes which allowed me to get the rest of the way up the hill, but my heart sank a bit when I did as I could see a crowd standing around the main gate.

As I got closer to the gate, it turned out that the 'crowd' I thought was standing there turned out to be seven girls with only one having a suitcase next to them.

My approach didn't go unnoticed for too long since my breathing can probably be heard from half a kilometre away, but they only turned to look I my direction when I was around three hundred meters away.

“I didn't expect that a really famous person would be transferring here this year”, the headband wearing girl with the suitcase said “this year is going to be really interesting”.

“Your blowing it out of proportion, Ritsu-sempai”, the short girl with her hair up in twin pony tails said “he might have been in the news and on TV, but he wouldn't be really famous”.

“I was only trying to make him feel good, Azusa”, the girl named Ritsu said.

“Wait, who is he”, the hairpin wearing girl asked.

“Don't let what Yui-sempai said get to you”, the girl named Azusa said to me “this is normal for her”.

“Ui, Azu-nyan's being mean to me”, the girl named Yui said as her personality changed from being dense to being a total crybaby.

“It is the truth”, the taller dark haired girl said “you always keep forgetting things when you learn something new”.

As a debate started as to if Yui is completely forgetful, the blonde haired girl with really thick eyebrows cleared her throat to get everyone's attention and to end the debate that is ongoing.

“This person is Yuki Azuma, and he is well known in high school baseball circles for having the fastest pitch of any current high school baseball pitcher”, she said “some said that he might go professional after graduating, but that ended last year when he had a heart attack after delivering the last pitch in the match that won his school a place in the nationals”.

At least there is one fountain of knowledge in this group since there were rumours floating around that I might go pro after graduation with a few teams being mentioned including some in America, but all of that ended after that heart attack and my retirement announcement.

“Since we know your name, we'd better continue with the introductions”, the girl named Ritsu said “I'm Ritsu Tainaka and if you haven't already guessed by the suitcase I have I'm a returning student, and over here is Mio Akiyama, Yui Hirasawa and her more responsible younger sister Ui, Tsumigi Kotobuki, Azusa Nakano and Jun Suzuki”.

We exchanged the usual pleasantries, but trying not to have my upper body dragged further down then I wanted while bowing with these shopping bags weighing me down was a problem that I somehow managed to get around.

“Ritsu used to be the president for our schools light music club, but she had to stand down after she knew about her transfer here”, Mio said “we managed to find a replacement rather quickly, but there's always been something missing from our performances”.

“This only happened because of a trapped nerve in both my wrists”, Ritsu said “but my wild drumming didn't help, although that's what the doctors said”.

“Thinking about the club president, where is Nodoka-chan”, Yui asked with a puzzled look on her face.

“She volunteered to go down to the town to get some extra snacks because nobody else offered to go”, Mio said looking slightly annoyed.

“Jun-chan and I had to deal with the suitcase, so we couldn't just go once we'd gotten off the bus”, Ui said.

“I couldn't leave these here”, Tsumugi said lifting up a bag of some kind I didn't know she was carrying “since some of the contents might have gone missing when I got back”.

“And I couldn't go either since I had to keep an eye on certain people so that they don't muck around”, Mio explained looking towards Ritsu and Yui as she spoke.

With Azusa yet to explain her reason for not going, I'd have to expect from what she has already said that she is also keeping an eye on Yui.

“We've been waiting out here for the past twenty minutes for her to come back”, Ritsu said “she doesn't know my room number, nor does she know her way around the school grounds”.

“Did you give her any directions to get to the convenience store”, I asked as I remembered something that happened as I left the aura mart.

“I thought it would be easy to get from here to there without directions”, Ritsu said.

“Well, it took her longer then five minutes to get there”, I said “as she only arrived there just as I was leaving, and that would have been around five minutes from when I arrived here”.

“She didn't ask for directions, and... ow”, Ritsu started saying, but ended up being interrupted by Mio hitting her squarely on the head.

“Just because Nodoka didn't ask for directions doesn't mean that she didn't need any”, Mio exclaimed “I thought that you would have become more responsible coming here, but you doesn't seem to have improved one bit”.

“At least we now know that she got there even with the irresponsible actions of our former club president”, Azusa said “so we shouldn't be waiting out here for much longer”.

“As long as she doesn't take the same route back”, Ritsu said and turned to face me “what's your major?”

To be honest, I didn't even have a clue as to what the question meant.

“Your malfunction. The reason you've been sent here against your will”, Ritsu asked “almost everyone including their aunts and uncles know that you has a heart attack but that's about it”.

That just makes me wonder how many people know what happened to my, but those people wouldn't be asking me for more details and I would rather no go into that, but since she actually asked and I can't think of a way to avoid the question now...

“Irregular erratic heart beat”, I said using my own terminology “and I wasn't sent here against my will even though my parents went behind my back at the start”.

“How am I supposed to follow what your saying when what your saying is beyond me”, Yui shouted.

“I thought that it was easy to follow”, Asuza said “his heart beat goes out of whack every once in a while”.

“The doctors thought that it was arrhythmia to begin with, but there weren't any irregularities in my heart beat after I'd recovered from the initial heart attack so they disregarded that diagnosis”, I said “although it has to be brought under control when it starts, and with the lack of this kind of problem in the family they didn't have a clue as to why I ended up like this”.

“Then shouldn't you be staying off the junk food since all of that would make things worse”, Jun mentioned.

“These are for my sister, but I had to get them since she's still sorting out her room”, I said “she is the one who was sent here against her will, but she brought it on herself since she failed all her entrance exams”.

“She'd definitely get on well with Ritsu”, Mio declared “she always has to cram the night before a test, and I'm normally the one that has to help”.

“She's hasn't had to cram since she does excel at school”, I said “it's just that she got it into her head that she didn't need to study for her entrance exams because she got straight hundreds in her finals, and that decision came back to haunt her”.

“That sounds like something Yui did during midterms in our first year”, Ritsu said “I just hope that I don't encounter her all the time in school”.

“You'll probably hear her more then you'll see her”, I said “she's so obnoxiously loud at times I started calling her Usa-hime because she sounds like a certain anime character from the early nineties”.

It's a nickname that I use for special occasions, which is when she's acting like her.

“Just how is that little problem of your being kept under control”, Jun asks “you can't be going to the hospital each time it occurs”.

“He'd most likely have a ton of medication”, Ritsu said nonchalantly “that is probably how it is for those with heart problems”.

“You do get a point there since I do have a load of pills to take, but there are a lot of unknowns with my condition so they might not work”, I said “it was discovered that a small shock to my heart when it is beating erratically does stop it so they decided to fit a pacemaker as a last line of defence”.

While I was divulging parts of my condition that weren't mentioned on TV, I had started to notice something just within my field of hearing that sounded like someone walking up the hill.

“Is there something wrong”, Azusa asked who had noticed that I wasn't looking at them.

“It's nothing. I think that your friend might be coming up the hill”. I said.

That was a random guess since I can't tell who it is just by breathing from that distance, but my guess turned out to be correct as the girl I'd seen going into the aura mart a little while ago come into view as she struggled with the bags she is carrying.

“How could you tell that it was Nodoka-chan”, Yui asked.

“That was more of an educated guess since everyone’s breathing sounds almost the same at a distance”, I said “since I hadn't seen anyone from the school on my way to and from the town it was logical to consider that it might be your friend”.

I had taken my time going to the convenience store since I hadn't eaten anything at the time, so I stopped off along the way to get something before hitting the convenience store.

“It still doesn't tell me how you managed to notice her approach before we could”, Yui asked.

“If he can pick out the sound of someone trying to steal a base in a packed stadium, then noticing someone approaching from a distance in a quieter environment would be a piece of cake”, Azusa declared “and you didn't ask how he managed to notice her coming up the hill”.

At least someone knows about my lesser known ability of being able to keep an eye on everything happening around me with my ears, but noticing someone approaching by just their voice is a long stretch even with the lack of excessive noise.

This new addition did at least take the attention from me for a little while as she was slowly relieved of the bags she was carrying.

“I didn't think I'd be seeing you again”, the girl probably named Nodoka said “I'm Nodoka Manabe. I used to be on the student council until last year when Ritsu was transferred here and I took over as president of the light music club”.

“She only had to take the position because nobody could agree on who would take over as club president”, an unfamiliar voice mentioned.

The crowd looked really uneasy when that person started talking, and when she finished, everyone looked towards the source which revealed what I would call a plain Jane looking woman wearing glasses who most certainly wasn't here when I arrived and could possibly look rather scary given the correct facial expression.

“I'm also wondering why you didn't even notify your club advisor about this trip”, she said.

“Ritsu only wanted to show us her room here”, Tsumugi said “and it ended up with the whole of the club tagging along”.

From that I concluded that the group was supposed to be smaller then it is now, and that the rest of the club got wind of it and decided to tag along.

“There is something I've been wondering about”, Jun said “if everything that has been done can keep the problem you have at bay, why did you quit baseball?”

“There were still too many risks and unknowns even with everything that had been done”, I started to explain “the doctors said that an impact to my chest might trigger another attack, and along with the other things they mentioned that might cause another attack I just didn't want to take any risks since those kinds of things could still happen even though I'm just a pitcher”.

“Now that everyone is here, we should head in”, Ritsu announced.

Since I had to stop off at my sisters room, I decided to stick with Ritsu and her group until I noticed that we were heading to the same section in the girls' dormitory and that her room is right next to my sisters.

Once I'd dropped off the bags with my sister and offered my condolences to Ritsu, I headed back to my room which I hoped is a bit more quieter.

With the first day of school only three days away, I just hope that this is the last time I'll have to mention my sporting past or my heart condition to anyone.

I can only hope, but with what I was told by the head nurse, my sporting past might be harder to avoid.

-----------------------------------------------

I decided to that little interaction with Ritsu and co just after I started and it probably went on for a bit longer then I expected (I did have to concoct a little story as to what happened after Ritsu transferred), but I decided to give a brief description of her condition (and I also decided to put the suffixes into that section since not having them wouldn't be in keeping with the source).

Also the name of the youngest of the sisters is just a place holder since I didn't want to hold this up because I couldn't think of a good name.

Now all I have to do is wait for the comp- er comments.

bhtooefr
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by bhtooefr » Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:08 pm

“What would you know”, I said snapping at my younger sister “you was only five years old when we moved”.
You was? Is that an intentional grammar error (trying to capture a less well-developed speech pattern), or a mistake? And, another comma could go after "sister".

I am wondering just how Yuki is taking his condition so well - he literally lost his life plans, fairly painfully lost his friends, and yet he's mentally holding together perfectly, like nothing happened to him.

Wondering what direction this Hanako route is going to take... there's a few ways I could see it going, some more believable than others. A bit odd to see Hanako being a fangirl of anyone, though. (Not at all odd to see her flee from the object of her fangirling.)
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Oct 02, 2013 3:39 am

What use is the first scene except for showing off how great your OC is again?
I didn't think the my parents would send her here. I mean, I know that she has had some problems with her high school entrance exams but I didn't think that it was bad enough for my parents to consider sending her here.
Reality check please: His parents decided not to tell him that they would send his sister to the same school he would go to? His sister didn't tell him either, despite being - apparently - an obnoxious brat? They'd rather send his sister after him a week later rather than send them together?
coming to a halt as I walking into a girl
walked
I started to get this vague feeling that I knew her.
I've got a sense of déjà vu here... Don't you have another story where the OC knows Hanako from childhood?
and continued onto my destination.
on to
“I forgot to tell you that your desk is the third in from the window on the back row”, the staff member said “the seating arrangements have been changed so the person who used to sit there has been moved to the desk one row in front and a bit to the right”.
Conveniently next to Hanako, but why should it be of interest to him who sat on his seat last year and where he moved to? (The explanation you provided is a bit flimsy.)
Most of the route we took was exactly the same I'd taken two days ago
Two days ago? I thought he was there during winter break?
and wondering if I knew why her stuff is being brought as well.
That message all but confirmed that she will be spending the next three years here and hasn't been told about it yet,...
Her parents pack up all her stuff and drive her to Yamaku, and she is wondering why? Is she stupid?
I decided to let my mother make up some reason until the truth finally comes out,
It would be interesting to see what kind of reason she could possibly come up with...
“your not helping”.
you're
even thou she's in all the pictures on that page
though
“This was from well before you were born”
Yuki is a third year. His sister is a first year. He is two years older than his sister (give or take).
In the picture he is five, so she should have been three.
The next few lines seem to contradict both versions...
“B-but this is a school for disabled people”, Yumi shouted “they can't just accept a normal person just because they don't have another school to go to”.
You know, for a stupid person, she's surprisingly correct.
Her room is about the same size as mine which caused another round of complaints
Why? Earlier she was surprised by how big they are...
Coming down here is better then being on the school grounds
than
I skipped over the K-On crossover part, since it didn't seem to serve any purpose either.
Also: Tenses. Stick to one of them.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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demonix
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Re: Flower and Snow

Post by demonix » Wed Oct 02, 2013 5:41 pm

I'm going to glass over the rest for a moment and focus on this...
Mirage_GSM wrote:
“This was from well before you were born”
Yuki is a third year. His sister is a first year. He is two years older than his sister (give or take).
In the picture he is five, so she should have been three.
The next few lines seem to contradict both versions...
“B-but this is a school for disabled people”, Yumi shouted “they can't just accept a normal person just because they don't have another school to go to”.
You know, for a stupid person, she's surprisingly correct.
Her room is about the same size as mine which caused another round of complaints
Why? Earlier she was surprised by how big they are...
Coming down here is better then being on the school grounds
than
Yuki has two sisters, and that first part you quoted was when he was talking to the youngest who is around six at that moment in time so she wouldn't have been born until after they'd moved (unless I completely dicked up that part as well).
Mirage_GSM wrote:
I started to get this vague feeling that I knew her.
I've got a sense of déjà vu here... Don't you have another story where the OC knows Hanako from childhood?
They have different timelines for the first eight years of their lives (here the MC knew her from birth and left her circle of friends before the fire, but in lost memories (if I've remembered this correctly) they meet when he was around four years old and was there for the fire).


And...
bhtooefr wrote:
“What would you know”, I said snapping at my younger sister “you was only five years old when we moved”.
You was? Is that an intentional grammar error (trying to capture a less well-developed speech pattern), or a mistake?
It was a choice of was or were, and the latter didn't make that part sound right.

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