Hanako/Hisao post-Yamaku (Updated 1/2/14)

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Hanako/Hisao post-Yamaku (Updated 1/2/14)

Post by pandaphil »

This all started as part of the discussion in the "Sisterhood" thread, where I theorized that Hanako might eventually like wearing something revealing. It continued when I posted a fanart of Hanako in a midriff revealing top. Someone mentioned that it was out of character, so I wrote a short little mini fanfic about how I thought it might happen and posted it along with the image.

I confess I'm not really a writer, but I do enjoy writing these little vignettes in the Public Discussion area. Some folks suggested I post this here, so I figured, why not? ts just a fluffy little piece, so please be kind, I know its not that good.

This tale takes place shortly after Hanako's good ending, when things have settled down. Akira has invited Lily, Hanako and Hisao to come spend a week at the old family place during school break. For now though, everyones staying at the school.



Pt. 1 Ver.2.0

-----------------------------------------



"Would you like more tea Hanako?"

"Mmm. Yes please. It's...really good."

Lilly uses her finger to carefully measure out a carefully portioned tea for her friend. Stopping just short of the red china cups rim.

"Thank you" Hanako replies, gingerly taking the gently steaming cup. She stirs it carefully with one of the dainty little spoons, blowing on it to cool the hot brew.

Hisao had declined the girls offer to join them this time, blaming it on last minute Physics paper. This really didn't bother either of the women. At least not outwardly. Now that he and Hanako were dating, the trio saw each other often enough during the day, For lunchtime chess matches, and of course after school shopping, study sessions, or dinner.
In fact, the story of the nerdy transfer student Hisao Nakai, and the mysterious Hanako Ikezawa suddenly becoming boy and girlfriend had become quite the hot subject of discussion among school gossip channels. Rumor had it that they had even been seen kissing in town. In broad daylight!
And even with that, there was still the big weekend coming up. In ten days time, The three of them were to join Akira down south at the old Satou family house for a celebratory farewell weekend before Akira headed off to her new life in Scotland.

At least thats what she'd claimed. Of course she wanted to see her sister one last time, and was never one to miss out on a good party. But Lilly at least, suspected ulterior motives. Akira had become quite excited from the moment she found out that Hisao and Hanako were in love. In her own way, she's quite fond of the gentle Hanako. So right away she'd begun planning to act as their belated matchmaker, giving the new couple their own little mini holiday to deepen their budding new romance, and this was the perfect opportunity. It meant missing a Saturday at school, but one day wouldn't damage any of them academically.

With the tea at a tolerable temperature Hanako begins to take her first sip, only to be inturrupted by a sudden and insistant knock at the door.

"Oh. Do you suppose Hisao finished his studies early? Could you see Hanako?" Lilly smiles to herself at the sound of Hanako practically scrambling to her feet in her excitement and dashing to the door. To her, the sound of her best friend's uncharacteristic enthusiasm is quite endearing.

Hanako's fingers can't undo the lock quickly enough. She swings the door open partway, only to freeze with a gasp. A conflicted sound that seems a mix of surprise, and dissapointment.

"Hanako? Who is it?" Lilly sits upright uncertainly, ready to rise to her feet.

"YO!"

She relaxes. The single word answering her inquiry. Theres no mistaking that voice.

"H-Hi Akira." Hanako says, obviously sounding a bit dissapointed.

"Akira? This is a surprise." Lilly folds her hands in front of her on the table as her dark-suited sibling pushes her way into the room, burdened with two armloads of paper sacks. Plastic shopping bags dangling from her fingers.

"Hey sis, Hanako." she greets them, sounding a bit tired from her walk across the campus.
She looks around and can't fail to notice the faintly dissapointed expressions on the two girls faces. "Hey c'mon, cheer up guys. It's makeover time!"

Lilly retains her spot on the low table after she and Hanako scramble to clear it off, making space for Akira's burden. She immediately starts unpacking one of the paper bags, forming a stack of multi-colored outfits on the low table. Jeans, shorts, tops, even pairs of socks.

"I was clearing out my closet, and found a whole bunch of my old stuff I couldn't wear anymore. Its a little old, but I thought some of it might fit you Hanako."

Hanako gives a little jump, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable about this unexpected charity. She'd always been a little self-conscious of her financial shortcomings. With no family, she was dependent on monthly disability checks from the government, which was never quite enough to cover her expenses. So she was always forced to scrimp and safe, and could only really afford used clothes. She hated it when people reminded her of how poor she was. "Y-You...really don't have to Akira." She casts her eyes down nervously.

Akira cuts off her protest with a dismissive wave of her hand."Hey Hey, don't worry about it. You're helping me out. I loved some of these old things, and I really want some of them to go to a good home instead of some crappy thrift shop."

She turns and actually looks at Hanako, whos leaning against the wall, with the most pleading expression. "Please Hanako? Can't you help a girl out?"

Hanako actually blushes at this point, a little embarassed by Akira's shameless performance. She suspects Akira is just using one of her lawyer tricks, especially since so many of the clothes she brought seem awfully new. And because they fit a bit too well to be simply hand-me-downs. But still, she thinks its far too funny to feel upset by it.

"Please, please?"

Hanako can't hold back a giggle at Akira's comically exagerated expression of pleading and finally just nods her head up and down in resignation. Akira lets out a enthusiastic..."YESSS!", and goes back to unpacking. Lilly can only shake her head at her sister's painfully obvious con job.

A short time later there are nearly as many piles of clothes as there are books on Lilly's floor, seperated by category. And on the table, at least in Akira's view, a dissapointingly small "Keep" pile. Hanako has ducked in and out of her room several times to change, and eventually finds herself standing barefoot, dressed in a pair of well worn jeans and a long sleeved blouse buttoned almost to her chin.

"Ah-ha, here we go!" Akira pulls a tiny blue bikini from a plastic bag. "It used to kill my boyfriend when I wore this. Hisao won't be able to keep his hands off you!"

Hanako brings her fingers to her mouth in a small gasp, blushing a bright red and averting her gaze. "I-I...ummm...don't wear swimsuits."

Lilly sighs and shakes her head, "I don't think we're quite that advanced yet, Akira."

Akira shrugs. "Well, if you say so. But keep it in mind though 'kay?" As she talks, she tucks the suit discreetly into the 'Keep' pile. Waste not, want not after all.

"Right. Next..." She reaches into the bag, pulling out a pretty short cropped white dress shirt. It has two buttons, and a cloth belt that ties just below the breasts to keep it in place. She grins, flipping it around in her hands and holding it up to show, "Aww, look at this! This is just soooo cute!"

She steps up to Hanako, holding the shirt up at chest height. "You should try it on."

"What is it?" Lilly enquires curiously.

Akira sounds quite enthusiastic about the whole thing. "It's the coolest little white belly shirt ever."

Hanako swallows nervously, her eyes wide as Akira presses it against her chest. "But...i-it's so short."

"Yeah, it is a little, but thats good for this time of year. It's 100% cotton so it's comfortable as hell. It gets pretty warm at the house in the summertime and I only run the a/c in the living room." Akira's drops her voice to a conspiratorial whisper as she leans close to Hanako's ear. "And take my word for it. Hisao would love you in it."

"Oh Akira, this is really going too far!" Lilly actually has a little heat in her voice.

"What? Oh lighten up Lilly." Akira sounds honestly offended. "I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to!"

Lilly crosses her arms with a derisive snort. Giving up the argument.

Akira barely misses a beat as she turns back to Hanako. "Y'know, guys really go for that whole sexy n' cute thing."

Lilly does her best to keep a striaght face and hold back a laugh. "What's this? The voice of experience?"

Akira sniffs disdainfully "Nah, I haven't done "cute" since high school. But...well, yeah, at least I have experience with what guys like."

Hanako gingerly takes the shirt from Akira, holding it carefully in front of her. Looking it over, turning it front and back as she studies it.

A minute passes as the sisters good-natured jabs at each other finally taper off. Still she doesn't say a word. Just holding the blouse against her chest looking down at it, smoothing it flat. The silence extends to the point where Lilly actually starts to get worried. "What do you want to do Hanako?"

Even Akira looks surprised at Hanako's response. As if she'd never seriously expected Hanako to go along with any of this. She looks up at both her companions. "D-Do you really think...Hisao would like it?"
Last edited by pandaphil on Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:30 pm, edited 17 times in total.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Mini-Fics

Post by pandaphil »

And Part two.

I just can't resist sappy romantic scenes.

--------------------------------------------------

Day 2 at Akira's place.


Passing through the living room, Akira heads toward the front door. "Okay I'm out." She calls to me. "If Lilly gets her lazy butt out of bed while I'm gone, tell her she'll just have to make due with whatever supplies I bring back from the store. I don't think even my fat paycheck can afford wine and take-out for four for an entire week!"

She shuffles around, finding her purse and keys. "Back in a bit!"

"Okay, See'ya Akira."

I stand out on the balcony admiring the view and enjoying a nice mug of coffee. Apart from Akira, it looks like I'm the only one up. I've no idea what Lilly's excuse is for sleeping in. Maybe she stayed up reading? I know Hanako and I were up pretty late on Akira's Playstation. I gave it up around ten thirty, but Hanako wanted to do one more level. She didn't actually come to bed til well after Midnight. Her only response when I spoke to her was a slight growl, and something about hating boss fights before climbing into her bed and quickly nodding off.

I glance over toward the door and see Akira still standing there in the hallway. She's flashing someone I can't see a quick double thumbs-up before heading out the door, letting it close behind her with a dull thud. "Oh lord, now whats going on?" I mumble. But, nothing happens, so I go back to sipping my coffee.


I soon lose track of time as the morning sun rises higher in the cloudless sky. It's gonna be another hot one.


"H-Hisao?"


The familiar, timid voice catches by by surprise. "Oh, hey Hanako."

I turn and freeze dead in my tracks. Hanako is standing in the doorway, looking like a frightened deer, her hands clutched so tightly in front of her that her knuckles are almost white. But she can't hide the, midriff baring shirt she's wearing. It's tied with a knot just below her breasts, leaving her pale stomach and the cute curves of her slender waist exposed. Scars and all. Even her arms are bare, something that I find surprisingly sexy. She also wears a pair of faded jeans that I've never seen before.


"Umm.....wow. G-Good morning."

Image



I think its all she can do to keep from bolting. Instead she forces herself to step closer to me.

I set down my nearly empty mug, hoping I might be able to defuse things. Its pretty obvious that shes barely holding it together. "Sleep okay?" is about all I can come up with. I'm too spellbound by the sight of her bare midriff.

All she can do is nod, starign at the floor. I wonder if she sat alone in our room all this time after I got up working up the courage to wear something like this. It's totally different from her usual chin-to-toe covering outfits, that's for sure. Like night is different from day. Its no wonder shes nervous.

She looks at me expectantly, obviously waiting for my reaction, looking very uncomfortable. Ugh, say something you idiot.

I smile a little sheepishly. "You look amazing." Actually she looks sexy as Hell. But I'm not quite sure how she'd take that.

At least it seems to break the spell a little, she blinks rather dumbly, but she still holds her hands in front of her waist, as if trying to cover her body.

"A-A-Akira said you might like it if I-I wore something like this." She manages to get out.

*God bless you Akira*

I move closer. She looks so scared. As if she was about to have another of her panic attacks.

"She was right." I answer her as gently as I can, laying my hands on her shoulders. I look down at her, even as she averts her eyes. "You look amazing. I can't think of anyone I find more beautiful than you, Hanako."

I feel like I've just stepped into a romance novel. But y'know? Fuck it.

She looks up at me for a long moment, actually making eye contact. I feel as if more needs to be said, as she still looks doubtful.

"I'm not just saying that to make you feel good. I mean it, you look really cute." I put all the sincerity I can muster into the words. Not that its that difficult. Its how I feel. "And I couldn't be happier to be your boyfriend."

Before I know whats happening, she has her arms around me, hugging me tight, her cheek pressed against my chest. It feels quite wonderful.

I think back. I took my pills this morning Right? Okay, yeah, I'm good.


I let her hug me for as long as she likes, my hands still resting on her shoulders until finally she pulls away, her body having lost much of its tension, and despite a single tear glistening in the corner of her eye, she rewards my with one of her rare, precious smiles.

I feel like its my turn now. What should I do? I don't want to frighten her of course. But I know if I show any reluctance shes sure to take it the wrong way.

Screw it.

Tenderly I reach out, and rest my hands on her sides, and move them slowly down to her naked hips, just holding her lightly as I smile down at her sweet face.The scars on her right side feels slightly rough to the touch. But its
not an unpleasant sensation. Its different from the skin on her left side which feels silky smooth. I expect her to tense up again at the touch of my hands, and I'm ready to pull back if need be. But instead there's only a slight flinch, and after a moment of uncertainty, she seems to relax even more. She actually seems to enjoy this. It's is so much different than what I remember from the first time I touched her bare skin.

Again, she grows thoughtful, as if turning something over and over in her mind. Then with a suddenly determined look, she leans up, resting her hands on my shoulders and touches her lips tenderly to mine. I hold her in return. For anyone else, this huge overreaction to such a simple compliment would seem rather silly. But to someone like Hanako, who's been hurt so much, and grew up thinking she was broken and ugly, it must mean a lot.

I feel disappointed when she finally breaks the kiss, and I keep my hands around her waist, not wanting to let her go. We just stand there, looking into each others eyes. She bites her lip, and I can tell shes dangerously close to crying.

"I...I love you Hisao." She says, in her whisper-soft voice, her lower lip trembling slightly.

I grin like an idiot, wondering just how I ever got this lucky.

I reach out to brush the hair back from her face, pressing my forehead playfully to hers. "I love you too Hanako."



And somewhere, a tiny chibi Akira and Lilly high-five one another.
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Last edited by pandaphil on Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:29 am, edited 19 times in total.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Mini-Fics

Post by Paropues »

I think this is really cute!
The script format And descrptions are a little bit weird, but the characters are believable enough, Also be a little more carefull with the double space in the narration because it breaks the reading flow.

Other than that, nice fluffy story! :)
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Re: Mini-Fics

Post by pandaphil »

Oh I know. I have a wierd writing style. And the script format just feels more comfortable to me. The second part was originally like that too, but I redid it at the last minute.

Thanks for the kind words though! I half expected to get ripped a new one by all the proofreaders in this topic. But still, any advice is appreciated.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by pandaphil »

I wrote this awhile back after someone explained how much it hurt to get a bad ending. So I suggested they imagine this scene after the credits:

Epilogue:

I bolt upright in bed.

I'm sweating, even though its nice and cool in my room. My hearts pounding like crazy. After a minute, and a few deep breaths, I manage to calm myself.

It takes me a few seconds to realize where I am. I sit there, steadying myself. Its okay. Its fine. It was just a stupid bad dream.

Slowly my heartbeat returns to normal as I finish waking up. I go back over the events of the dream, grateful that things turned out the way they did.

I shake my head. How easily it could have all gone wrong. Thank God I wasn't that stupid.

It take me a moment to realize the phone by my bed is ringing. I guess that's what woke me up. Pushing aside a few pill bottles, I pick up the phone and open it.

"Hello?"

My mood improves instantly as a sweet, gentle voice speaks my name.

"Oh, hey Hanako*......Sure, I can come over...... No, its no trouble, just let me get dressed.......I love you too."



* or your preferred girl.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by KeiichiO »

Panda, you're the master at tending to the feels. This fic made me feel warm and fuzzy, and I think that might have been the point. It was simple, yet adorable, (And rather funny at times.)

Kudos.
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by Umber »

Sweet! You finally posted it! I'm proud of you, for that and making sure that it was cute/awesome/[positive adjective here].

You should make more of these, Panda. We'd appreciate it :wink:
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by pandaphil »

Umber wrote:Sweet! You finally posted it! I'm proud of you, for that and making sure that it was cute/awesome/[positive adjective here].

You should make more of these, Panda. We'd appreciate it :wink:

Aww thanks Umber. I'm actually working on another one. Trouble is trying to come up with interesting plots. Just doing scenes of the two of them making puppydog eyes at each other is gonna get old fast. :)
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by Oddball »

pandaphil wrote:
Umber wrote:Sweet! You finally posted it! I'm proud of you, for that and making sure that it was cute/awesome/[positive adjective here].

You should make more of these, Panda. We'd appreciate it :wink:

Aww thanks Umber. I'm actually working on another one. Trouble is trying to come up with interesting plots. Just doing scenes of the two of them making puppydog eyes at each other is gonna get old fast. :)
You want some ideas, you can PM me. I've always got more than I can use. :lol:
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by pandaphil »

Okay, time to wrap up this little plotline.


------------------------------------------------------



Akira barely manages to get the front door open, burdened as she is with hands full of plastic grocery bags. She gives the door one last bump with her hip, sending it swinging wide.

"Hey, a little hel-" She quickly gets cut off by Lily's hand on her shoulder and a muted "Shhhhh!"

"A little help here?" she repeats in a more moderate tone as she struggles her way into the kitchen. "There are two more outside. Grab those willya?" Lily traces the outline of the door frame with her hand and kneels, locating a pair of bags which she retrieves with her usual grace and follows her sister inside, quietly nudging the door shut with her toe.


Akira is waiting there, and takes the bags from her hands, setting them with the rest. "Well good morning lazy." she teases, watching to make sure Lilly gets settled at the kitchen table as

she puts the groceries away. "I see you didn't have any trouble finding the tea."

"No. Thank you for leaving it where I remembered."

Akira shrugs. "Hey, old habits die hard. Why mess with a good storage system?"

"I do appreciate that." She takes a sip of her still steaming cup. "I'm sorry I wasn't awake to help with the shopping."

Akira made a rude noise with her lips. "Yeah well, I managed okay. You guys are here as my guests anyway. I'm just sorry I took so long. Looked like everyone in town was getting their shopping done this morning."

She tucked the last of the vegetables into the now well-stocked fridge. "So what's all the shushing about?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

"I didn't want you to wake them."

"Wake them? Wh-?" It takes a moment for it to register. "Ooooh, our two lovebirds. Are they asleep again?"

"Yes, on the couch. I heard their breathing, and decided to have my morning tea and wait for you out here. I heard you car arrive and decided to meet you at the door."

Akira grinned wickedly. "I gotta check this out."

"Quietly." Lilly warned, partially rising from her seat.

"Oh Lilly, quit fussing."

Akira padded quietly back into the living room, and over to the couch.

Hisao sat on the couch in front of the tv, his head thrown back, mouth partly open, snoozing peacefully. A Playstation controller lay on the floor where it had apparently slipped from his grasp. Reclining beside him, her stocking feet tucked cutely underneath her, lay Hanako, also sound asleep. Her head is snuggled against his side, one hand lying on his chest, while her scarred hand held tightly to the other game controller. Hisao's arm was around her waist, holding her tenderly.

"Oh man, that's just adorable. Two points for the girls team."

The game appeared to be paused in mid battle, so Akira stepped forward quietly, retrieving the controller and the remote from the floor, muting it and saving the game.

"Devil May Cry 3 two player huh? Oh Hisao you romantic, impetuous fool you."

She switched off the tv and console, retreating back to the kitchen.

"So?" Lilly asked in quite an enthusiastic tone. Akira briefly described the scene, which earned her one of Lilly's strangely serene smiles, her eyes closed.

"I imagine they were both up very late."

"Up all night on the Playstation." Akira replied. Eh, no big deal. Sounds like they haven't had much time for fun the past few weeks."


"Not with exams, no."

"We'd probably wake them if we started breakfast." Lilly observed.

"Yeah, we can hold off a bit, unless you're starving. I grabbed a burger while I was out."

"I'm fine for now. I can wait until they get their sleep out and we can prepare the meal together."

Akira groaned inwardly. "Or try to, for some of us."

Akira was more of a coffee person, but she poured herself a mug of tea anyway to be sociable and sat down at the table across from Lilly.

"Hey, hey, can I pick'em or what? I told ya that shirt would be a hit didn't I?" Akira said with teasing smugness.

"Where did you find it? I don't remember you owning anything like it. I thought you were more into miniskirts after you left the Academy."

"At the University? Well Hell yeah. "Best Legs on Campus", three years running." Akira grinned to herself. "But no, you're right. I bought it on the way to your place".

"That was a bit of a risk don't you think? What if she'd refused?"

"She did nearly. Didn't you tell me she fussed and worried about it the entire week?"

"Mmmhmm." Lilly replied over the rim of her cup. "If anything, she felt guilty for accepting all those clothes. As deeply hurt as she is, she's still a very proud person."

Akira nods in reply. "She's an odd one all right. She needs help, but helping her just makes her feel worse about herself. Damn, I don't envy you guys. That's an awfully narrow tightrope to have to walk."

Lilly shakes her head. "It's just the way she is. You adjust. Hanako isn't like other girls. She's so ashamed to let anyone see her scars. Even during our evening tea she'll only wear a floor length nightgown. Nor has she ever let me touch her face. I've no idea what my best friend even looks like."

Akira notices the bitterness in her sisters voice, but doesn't say anything. It's obvious this is something that bothers her a great deal more than she'd ever let on.

Lilly sets down her cup. "But, Hisao and I manage somehow. It took me a long time for me to learn just how much she needs to be her own person. And it very nearly cost us our friendship-." Her voice nearly breaks.

"Aww, c'mon Sis, don't make me get all huggy. You know I hate that touchy-feely crap." Despite her casual words, Akira still reaches across to her sister, covering Lilly's hand with her own. Lilly in return grasps it tightly, with a grateful smile.

"Everything worked out okay didn't it? I mean, those two couldn't be happier together. I ran into her this morning on my way out, ya know. Wearing those jeans and top and skulking in the hallway, trying to work up the nerve to go face Hisao. I've never seen a girl so scared. You'd think she was stark naked."

"Yes." Lilly nodded, still sounding a bit uncertain as she wipes her eyes with the back of her finger.

"All that fuss over showing a little skin. It wouldn't be a big deal for most girls."

"It's as I said," Lilly continues. "With her its a constant battle between her own fears, and wanting to reach out to the people who love her."

"Wish I'd been at that orphanage of hers when she was a kid. I'd have kicked those little punks asses for doing this to her." She had a fierce expression.
"Really sis, I wish you could see those two. Even with all this talk of her wanting to stand on her own two feet, I think she'd be purring if she were awake.
"Look, I know what its like to be eighteen and in love. She may be different, but every girl her age wants to please the man in her life, and wants him to see her as sexy and exciting. I'm working under the assumption that there's a normal teenage girl lurking under all that fear. She just needed a little push for it to come out. And well, I don't like to brag, but..."

Lilly gives a girlish giggle. "Oh don't sound so smug. Then I take it that's the reason you gave them a room together?"

"What?" Akira sits up little defensively. "I don't exactly have a ton of space here y'know."

Lilly just nods and tries not to giggle a second time, instead feeling for the teapot to carefully refill her cup.


"Honestly Lilly, she needs to stretch her wings. And that means nudging her out of her comfort zone sometimes. Thats why I pushed her so hard to wear that blouse. I thought it would be good for both of them."


Lilly's defensive look returned. "And what if you nudge too hard? What then? You've never seen one of her panic attacks. They-they're horrible to see."

"I can only imagine sis. Look, I'm just a third party here, you have to see her every day, so I'll defer to you. But I care about her too. She's a good kid. I want her to be happy, just like I want you to be."


"Maybe that's the problem." Lilly replies with a sigh. "We're both trying too hard to make her happy, when shes the one who should be doing that herself."


Akira nods. "Well for now, she looks mighty happy. I think Hisao is the best thing that's ever happened to that girl."

"Somebody call?"

Both women jump at the sound of the tired male voice from the doorway. Hisao stood there, sleepily running his hands through his hair. A moment later Hanako slips up shyly behind him and he gives a soft "yeep" as she wraps her arms around his waist in a gantle hug.


"Well, morning sleepyheads!" Akira stood up cheerfully from her seat, straightening her blouse. She decides to be polite and not comment on Hanako's rather forward behavior. "Just a bit of sister talk."


"So, who wants breakfast?"
Last edited by pandaphil on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:38 pm, edited 7 times in total.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by Umber »

Hey, hey Panda.

I think I love you.
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Brogurt
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fics

Post by Brogurt »

>Devil May Cry 2
I know Hanako has some self-loathing in her but I don't think it's bad enough to want to play THAT game. 3 has multiplayer as well, with doppelganger and I think the Arkham fight too no, it's not worth losing your style and devil trigger, but it's there

Anyway, the format in part 1 was a huge turnoff but it got rectified quick, which is good. To be honest stuff like this
Lilly: *Doing her best to look nonchallant and not laugh* "The voice of experience?"
Makes me think of Deviantart RPing

Also, there were some clear editing errors like this
her hands clutched so tightly in front of her that herknuckles almost white but unable to hide the white, midriff baring shirt she's wearing
The adverbs really stuck out, and that's not a good thing. "Hanako puckered her lips for a kiss" sounds better than "Hanako tenderly shyly slowly puckered her lips for a kiss", and not just because of the hyperbole.

notlewdenough4me
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pandaphil
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fics

Post by pandaphil »

Brogurt wrote:>Devil May Cry 2
I know Hanako has some self-loathing in her but I don't think it's bad enough to want to play THAT game. 3 has multiplayer as well, with doppelganger and I think the Arkham fight too no, it's not worth losing your style and devil trigger, but it's there

Anyway, the format in part 1 was a huge turnoff but it got rectified quick, which is good. To be honest stuff like this
Lilly: *Doing her best to look nonchallant and not laugh* "The voice of experience?"
Makes me think of Deviantart RPing

Also, there were some clear editing errors like this
her hands clutched so tightly in front of her that herknuckles almost white but unable to hide the white, midriff baring shirt she's wearing
The adverbs really stuck out, and that's not a good thing. "Hanako puckered her lips for a kiss" sounds better than "Hanako tenderly shyly slowly puckered her lips for a kiss", and not just because of the hyperbole.

notlewdenough4me

Well, I'm not up on my gaming, and couldn't think of a good multiplayer game that would be popular in Japan. I'll change that.

As for the rest, I'll go back and fix those. I'm the king of typos, so I'm surprised there aren't more.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.
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LorSquirrel
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by LorSquirrel »

pandaphil wrote: Lilly's defensive look returned. "And what if you nudge too hard? What then? You've never seen one of her panic attacks. They-they're horrible to see."

I thought Lilly was blind. How can she see Hanako's panic attacks?
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Steinherz
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Re: Hanako/Hisao Mini-Fic

Post by Steinherz »

LorSquirrel wrote:
pandaphil wrote: Lilly's defensive look returned. "And what if you nudge too hard? What then? You've never seen one of her panic attacks. They-they're horrible to see."

I thought Lilly was blind. How can she see Hanako's panic attacks?
Figure of speech? Remember Lilly says "see you around" quite a few times.
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