Man, I started this a long time ago, and actually got around to posting the first part of it in July. By then I knew how it was all going to play out, I just had trouble making myself complete it. And that fact still rings true today, except it's probably worse.
"Oh, your work isn't obsolete enough? Well that's lucky for you, because now Sisterhood has music cues and there might be a Sisterhood 2."
Anyway, I put all this work so far into this and I don't want it to be for nothing, so even if I post it in a "rough draft" quality then that's something, right? Minimal music, no formatting, whatever. This is how it's gonna stay unless someone convinces me otherwise. Of course, I have been having what I can only describe as some kind of depressive mood swings very recently and I don't know why, so maybe I'll "wise up" and remove all this on my own at one point to finish it off.
So how about this: If you really want to see this finished, don't read it in its current form and tell me instead. Maybe that would be encouragement, I don't know.
Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notice)
Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notice)
Last edited by Brogurt on Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Dog Days
CHAPTER 1: DOG DAYS
“Well, here we are.”
Hanako’s words carry an air of tranquility with them, a modest statement to conclude an uneventful day.
And she’s entirely right. Here we are, arms linked, standing in front of the summer house I’ve been told so much about. It’s quite the sight despite its modest stature, but I guess that’s thanks to the sunset behind us casting an orange shadow across its veneer, marking the day’s end. I’ve had my doubts about coming here, but the chance to spend some time with two pretty girls at a secluded retreat in the summer isn’t one I could easily pass up.
Granted, Lilly already knows about me and Hanako, so that probably rules out some possibilities of what might happen here, but I suppose it invites others, doesn’t it?
…Goddamnit Hisao, get your act together. It’s just you and Hanako. No need to get any ideas.
But before I can chastise myself any further, Lilly speaks up.
“And if Akira is to be believed, there is a surprise inside.”
Hanako and I share a surprised look ourselves. I take it on myself to ask Lilly what she’s talking about.
“A surprise? What’s that mean?”
“I apologize, but it’s more for me than it is for you.”
A near devilish smirk comes across her face, which she does a bad job of suppressing
“Although you may enjoy it regardless of that fact.”
Oh, hell, Lilly. How do you even get off on keeping us in the dark like this anyway?
As if on cue, the three of us approach the front door, unlink our arms, and stand by while Lilly procures a key so she may allow us inside.
The second my foot hits the floor, a question crosses my mind.
“So, where should I put my stuff?”
Lilly pauses for a second before responding.
“You don’t want to see the surprise?”
Inquisitive. Tempting. Maddening. Lilly, you’ve really roped me in with that one question.
“I thought you said that it was more for you. But alright, I guess I’ll come along if it’s that big of a deal.”
She leads us to the kitchen, and there we find a large plastic crate of some sort with a caged entrance. As much as I’d like to examine the kitchen itself a bit more, this has really caught my attention. It appears to be a little under half my height, and every so often it appears to shift slightly or emit a sound. I think I’ve seen ones like it before, in pet stores that I’ve visited back in the city. Could this really be…?
Lilly bends down and runs her fingers over the contours of the caged side, before finding a latch and releasing it. She lets out a cry as it flies open.
“Niji~! C’mon, boy!”
“Whoa!”
Before the exclamation has entirely left my mouth, a large furry dog has leaped out of the cage and begun jumping at Lilly, his tail wagging restlessly. It almost looks like he’s trying to lick her face, which makes me almost laugh.
Hanako emits a squeal as well, but I can tell that it’s one of excitement rather than surprise. She immediately embraces Niji and begins stroking his fur, which catches his attention- and his nose. As he begins sniffing and playing with her, she starts giggling uncontrollably, and a smile parades itself onto my face with such ease that I don’t think anything in the world could wipe it off.
I guess it kind of would make sense for Hanako to take such a liking to him, since he’s not likely to find her scars repulsive… or even mildly interesting in the same way that a person would. Being a dog, one might say he’s the epitome of unbiased: not caring how a person looks or acts around others, having no desire to judge them, but only wanting affection from those closest to him, and returning it many times over.
And it shows, as his tail has not stopped wagging for one second since he was let out of the cage.
Now, with all the excitement out of the way, my query comes out plainly.
“A dog?”
“A seeing-eye dog, yes.”
Her nonchalant mention of Niji’s purpose catches me off guard, and takes a chunk of the happiness I was just feeling with along it. It feels… it feels like she thinks we’re abandoning her. Like this is some kind of last resort to maintain some independence without inconveniencing us, the occupied lovebirds.
“Lilly…”
“Well, since Hanako has been spending so much time with you, and Akira has been getting more and more busy with her work, I figured it would be best to get acquainted sooner rather than later.”
“Hey, you don’t have to do that. If you ever need something, Hanako and I would both gladly oblige. Right, Hanako?”
“Mmhmm.”
A glance in her direction shows me that she’s still playing with Niji, and only barely conscious of what’s going on over here. The way she continues to ruffle his fur and rub his belly tells me that she’s clearly not feeling the same way about this that I am.
“Oh, no, it’s quite alright. I don’t want to be a burden, and the sooner I can get used to all this, the sooner I can regain a degree of freedom.”
“Fine, Lilly, if you insist. But never tell yourself that you can’t ask something of Hanako or I.”
“I won’t. Thank you for your concern, but this is something I must get used to.”
The following awkward silence hangs painfully in the air, and I conjure a some small talk to hopefully break it.
“…So his name is Niji?”
“Indeed. Akira was a much bigger advocate of the name than I, but it ended up sticking.”
“Why’d you only agree to start training him now instead of some other time?”
“I’d rather get through the tough part -the introduction, if you will- when there’s little else going on to get in the way. I don’t think I’d appreciate having the extra stress piled on top of the usual work from school.”
That sounds fair enough. I’m not sure how I feel about him being here during our stay, though. He’s already captured Hanako, and I don’t want this trend to continue for too long.
“Alright… Looks like a golden retriever. Is that correct?”
“Yes. Golden retrievers are known to be very intelligent, and are the most popular seeing-eye dogs for the blind.”
Another question embeds itself into my mind, and as much as I don’t want to make a big deal of it, it kills me to think of going this whole stay without knowing the answer. I guess I’ll just have to make it sound casual.
I clear my throat, and immediately catch the attention of both girls. This is already turning out worse than I hoped for.
“Is he neutered?”
Even with my best efforts put behind making it sound relaxed, I see Lilly smile and Hanako suppress a laugh. Damn it.
“Yes. Yes, he is.”
I sigh… A move that undoubtedly made things no better, as Hanako can no longer contain herself and Lilly looks like she’s in pain as she tries to restrain a laugh or two.
This isn’t good.
“H-hey, how about we finish unpacking? It’s kinda late and I’d like to get to bed, you know?
“Whatever you say, Hisao.”
…
…
…
So, with the details ironed out, this trip looks like it’s beginning to really shape up.
There’s a lone bedroom which Lilly and Hanako will be sharing, and a futon in the living room for me. The kitchen is already stocked with food, and my clothes are folded and neat. I’ve got my medication ready, and it’s 10 o’clock and time for me to go to bed.
But before I do, there’s one last order of business I’d like to attend to.
A quick trek across the house brings me to the bedroom. I knock twice…
“Come in.”
And after hearing Hanako’s voice, invite myself inside.
I am greeted by the sight of each of the two girls already in her pajamas, with Hanako petting and hugging Niji once more, while Lilly is filing through her things, evidently making sure it’s all in order.
“You seem awfully fixed on Niji, Hanako. Forget about me?”
What was meant to be a joke probably just came across as scolding back there. This is only made all the more evident by Hanako’s gaze dropping to the floor and a look of ragged dejection appearing on her face. In my defense, it is late, and I am kind of irritated how she’s almost ignoring me.
“Anyway, I’m done. Just wanted to let you two know.”
This time, Lilly is the one to answer.
“As are we. Just making sure everything’s in order”
“Okay. Anyway, I’ll be heading to bed. See you two in the morning.”
Lilly giggles, one hand covering her mouth.
…Oh, that might be why. I might never accustom myself to avoiding that kind of language… but then again, it’s probably better that I don’t.
“Good night, Hisao.”
When I look to Hanako, she remains silent, looking at the floor. Maybe I was too harsh, but I’m certain she can take the criticism if she just realizes that I don’t think of her any differently because of it.
I take my leave, shutting the door behind me, but before it falls into place and clicks, a foot intercepts it and it sways back open.
When I turn to see who it is, it’s none other than Hanako, who shuts the door silently behind her.
She then looks up at me with such pleading eyes that I expect that I’ll have to ask her what’s wrong. Instead, she makes the first move.
“I… just want to say I’m sorry. I know that you… have expectations of me as your girlfriend, and I want to live up to them, but… sometimes I get caught up in the moment. This probably wasn’t the best first day here for you… because of me, and I’m sorry about that.”
Given the sheer innocence and purity of her words, I couldn’t possibly stay mad at her over something so trivial. It almost makes me crack a smile, to see her taking charge for her shortcomings, if it would be appropriate to use that term.
“B-but I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”
And now these words carry such spirit and indignation; I can’t help but believe her.
“That’s alright, Hanako. Heck, even more than alright now, if you’re willing to make things better.”
I look her in the eye for a moment, verifying that the feeling is mutual, then turn to leave-
“Good night Hisao. I love you.”
Oh, how stupid of me.
“Love you too. Night.”
With that, we share a kiss goodnight, and I make my way back to the futon while Hanako retires to her room.
And before I know it, I’m asleep.
…
…
…
Something shakes my body back and forth momentarily, so I let out a groan and hit the snooze button- which appears to be the side of an end table now.
Suddenly, a voice amongst the deafening silence.
“Hisao…”
That’s… that’s Hanako, isn’t it?
I attempt to open my eyes, and am greeted by the sight of red, white, and purple.
“Oh, hello there Hanako… Looking to sleep with me tonight or something?”
Wow. If she even heard that mumble, I’d be impressed.
“You… you said that you wanted something more from this trip… So… I decided- I mean, would you like to go on a picnic?”
“A picnic? This late at night? What time is it?”
I guess I never was a heavy sleeper, and it couldn’t have been that long since I fell asleep. My senses must be returning to be rather quickly.
“Right now, it’s midnight. The picnic is… it’s not much. I just packed some snacks and grabbed some blankets…”
She sheepishly holds up a picnic basket to me and mentions toward a pile of folded blankets set beside her.
“Well, if you’re already this prepared, that doesn’t leave me with much of a choice, now does it?”
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t think…”
“Hey, no worries. I don’t think I could have asked for things to turn out better.”
As I impart every bit of sincerity I can muster into my words, I see the corners of Hanako’s mouth raise ever so slightly, and I know my efforts have paid off.
“So, Hanako, you think you’ll be alright heading out on a picnic in your nightgown?”
My question appears to have caught her off-guard.
“W-well, you’re still in your pajamas too.”
She says this quite challengingly. Oh, it’s on alright.
“I know, I know. But you just woke me up, so I don’t know how you can expect me to be dressed already.”
She lost. Soundly defeated and she knows it, but her smile doesn’t show it.
“Alright… I’ll go up and get dressed.”
“And I’ll meet you down here at the doorway.”
With that settled, she takes her leave and I slip into some more appropriate clothing.
She soon catches up, and we both depart, her in the lead with the basket and a flashlight in hand, and me trailing behind with the blankets clutched in my arms. Whenever I can get close, I can tell that she smells… different than she did earlier. It’s quite pleasant, maybe some kind of perfume.
It finally occurs to me that I’m missing a very important part of this expedition.
“Hey, so… where are we going, anyway?”
“There’s a… a wheat field nearby. It seemed like a nice place to go.”
“Okay, then. I’ll hold you to that.”
Each of us satisfied with where our conversation has ended, we continue on without another word.
We move surprisingly quickly; she deftly glides through the fields, avoiding the taller stalks of wheat and taking care not to trample the shorter ones, and I follow, memorizing her movements and repeating them as best I can. Now that I take note of it, it’s actually kind of warm for the nighttime, even if it is Summer. Not that I mind, it definitely beats the usual frigid airs.
“This should be good.”
I stop in my tracks, and she sets her things down. Before I can ask her about the blankets, she has taken one of the ends, and we are spreading them out along the ground.
Several minutes later, we’re finally seated and set up, and there’s one thing that’s been on my mind for a while now.
“So, what’s all in the basket?”
She stiffens up at the mention of its contents, and then relaxes shortly after. Now I’m left wondering what’s even on her mind.
“W-well, it’s mostly small things, like some bread, crackers, some bottles of water…”
As I see her hand wander over the lid and gingerly open it, my eyes are drawn to what’s inside.
“Is that…?”
She nods timidly.
“Does Lilly even know about it? Like, that it was even in the house?”
She looks straight at me and shrugs, her gaze unwavering… and worried. She’s probably concerned about whether or not I’d even approve of such a thing. And then there’s the implications beyond that…
“Well, it would be a shame to bring it all the way out here for nothing, huh?”
Hanako, visibly lightened by my reaction, reaches inside the picnic basket and grasps the neck of a bottle of fine wine. It’s black, and amongst the foreign text on the side, there’s a picture of some vines and grapes.
My eyes follow the bottle as she leans it against the side of the basket and takes out a pair of wine glasses to drink from.
Wine glasses… the idea strikes me as strangely feminine.
She hands one to me, and we try to set them on the blanket, but the uneven ground makes them fall over with every attempt, so we find ourselves simply holding the wine glasses as we pour our drinks.
“So, Hisao…”
“Yeah?”
“There’s something I’d like to show you.”
“Show me?”
I think my words match my reaction quite well. I think I’ve seen everything there is to see several times now.
“Well, you can’t physically see it… I mean-“
And before I know it, she’s stumbling over her words in embarrassment.
“…I-I know my English isn’t the best, s-so I’ve been practicing hard…”
The finally rights herself and makes a conclusive statement.
“So I hope you enjoy it.”
She takes one deep breath, and begins tapping the side of her foot against the ground.
The then clears her throat and begins to sing.
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now.
Back beat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out.
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding.
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how.
Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now.
And all the roads that lead you there are winding.
And all the lights that light the way are blinding.
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
Her voice dances in the air, mingles with the stars, flits in between the stalks of wheat, and the feeling is incredible. While some of the English leaves me hanging, I pick up the majority of the words, and the fact that she chose this song, of all things, to show to me raises a few questions.
I applaud her performance, and she stands up to take a bow. She’s blushing really hard now, to the point where I can see it even in the dim starlight.
“Nicely done, Hanako. We really have to bring you out to a karaoke bar some time.”
“Th-thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“But I’ve got a question about the song you chose. Some of the lyrics said that ‘Maybe I’m gonna be the one that saves you.’ But… I thought that you always wanted a lover, not a hero.”
“That’s why it’s a maybe. I... guess I’m not really sure what I want...”
“In me?”
“In life.”
“But I’ll find out. I’ll find my way... it's just that... the way I’ve lived my life for so long... it's hard to throw that away, even if it feels nice to be treated as an equal… Even though I hated every bit of my ‘old life’, it's still a part of me. Even with you around, I sometimes feel like I can’t do enough, or I can't be enough.”
“I don't think that's a healthy train of thought, Hanako. Our pasts don't have to continue to affect us. They already took their toll. That's why they're in the past. Because we can move on.”
“That's what I like to tell myself, but change is hard. I’ve been dependent on others for so long, and... the thought of being independent is really scary.”
“Please, Hanako. I know you can do whatever you put your mind to. I believe in you, so please believe me when I say I have total confidence in you.”
My words sound oddly sharp. I hope I’m not being too forceful, but I think that it shows just how deep my faith in her is.
“I… alright.”
“Let’s get something to eat, why don’t we?”
She nods in agreement.
The following minutes are spent eating the food she brought along, with a healthy dose of stargazing. The wheat makes for a comfortable pillow underneath the blankets, so sitting back and getting comfortable isn’t hard.
I notice that I’m having quite a bit more of the wine to drink than she is. Maybe that’s just because I can stand more of it without becoming intoxicated than she can.
Soon, each of us has eaten our share, and the food is entirely repacked in the basket. Hanako uses the opportunity to reestablish a bridge of communication between us. It was getting awfully quiet.
“I’ve always imagined… spending a night under the starlit sky with someone I love.”
“Have you ever told Lilly? I don’t think she’d mind, even if she can’t see the stars.”
“Not… like that…”
Oh.
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
“Well then, I’d be happy to make that dream a reality. But I don’t think it would be such a great idea to stay out here for the whole night. Lilly doesn’t even know we’re here.”
“That what I was thinking as well… I guess we’ll just have to… make a compromise. Head back afterward, before it gets too late.”
Compromises. Such an integral part of life, aren’t they? You can’t always get what you want, after all. So we push on. We push on with the hand that we’re dealt, trying to make the most of it.
Maybe we could say the same of Niji. He’s basically here for Lilly, but if I don’t at least try to enjoy his existence, I never will. And it looks like Hanako’s already realized that and is acting upon it, while I’m barely coming to terms with the fact. It almost makes me a bit jealous to see her capable of enjoying the small things in life, whereas I cannot.
…Oh shit.
“What’s the matter?”
Did I say that out loud? Guess I better explain…
“I kinda… sorta… don’t have any kind of… protection with me.”
“That’s alright. I’m… I-I-I’m on the pill. I want this trip to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us.
I look her dead in the eyes.
“Wow, Hanako.”
“W-w-what’s the matter?!”
She’s so flustered now, she can’t help her stammering. I’d better defuse this situation.
“It just seems silly to me, that you’re capable of going out in public and buying something like that, for us, but you don’t think that you’re capable of being as independent as anyone else.”
She seems to agree with my reasoning. I guess I did a good job.
“Y-yeah, I guess so…”
“Alcohol or no, let’s make this night one to remember.”
██████████████████████████████████████████████ BEGIN H-CONTENT ██████████████████████████████████████████████
My head bobs forward to steal an abbreviated kiss from her. After letting go, she gazes deep into my eyes, and lunges forward to kiss me, taking us to the ground.
The feeling of her body next to mine combined with the hot summer night is already beginning to make me sweat. As I snake my hand around her body, under her clothing, I can tell that she’s feeling it too.
Eventually it finds rest just below her navel, and my eyes dart to hers. She sends a smile and a nod my way, and I reply by shutting my eyes and kissing her firmly as my hand finds its way underneath her silken panties. A finger grazes her dripping slit, making her whimper into my mouth, and making me fel the reverberations.
She moans once more as I slip a finger inside, and I pull back my head and take another look at her to see how she’s taking things. The slight “o” formed by her trembling lips is quite telling- she’s really enjoying this. Before I know it, instinct rears its head, and another finger has found its way inside her, and my hand is sliding up and down her crotch while my two fingers slide in and out of her.
She gasps with each movement, and after a while, I notice her reach toward my shirt in the midst of her surges of pleasure and begin unbuttoning it. She’s willing to escalate this, and so am I. A final motion withdraws my hand, now dripping with her juices, and I take hold of her top and pull it off her, kissing the nape of her neck once as I do so. She finishes with my shirt, and as one thing leads to another, each of us fully undresses the other.
Even in the nude, I can still feel the heat coming off both her and myself, and I push her back onto the blanket, so that we can begin.
I place myself above her, and the look in her eye changes from timid to fierce. At this response, I begin grinding against her entrance, making eye contact the whole way. Each motion -each thrust- further excites me, and further drives her into ecstasy. I take her bared legs and push them out to the sides, and then an idea strikes me.
“Hey, Hanako. Would you like to be on top this time?”
Surprise takes the reigns, and her competitive visage melts away.
“M-me?”
“On top, yes. We haven’t tried things this way before, and I think I trust you enough to let you do something like that.”
“I… Sure. L-let’s do it.”
I lay myself next to her on the blanket, and she extends one leg over me, then the other. As she begins to straddle me, I again take note of her shapely body. Her thighs spread out far from her core, only further being exaggerated by the position she has taken above me. Her waist… her breasts… really, not one part of her is unattractive, even with the scarring covering half of it. And then there’s her face, flushed with redness and eager to begin.
“Go on.”
She takes me in one hand and gradually sets herself down on me. A gasp escapes her as our hips meet, and she looks at me demurely, unsure of what to do next.
“Umm…”
She then starts swaying her hips in tiny circles, taking me with her. The feeling of her insides clenching around me like this, unadulterated, is unlike any other. I just might lose myself in it.
She starts going faster, then stops suddenly. As I look to her to see what the issue is, I see her lift herself off me, give her rear a little shake, and then set herself back down on me, again taking the entirety of my member inside her with an arousing moan.
“S-sorry, just wanted to get more comfortable…”
A reassuring smile says that it’s more than alright, and she again begins pleasuring us both with her fluid movements. This time, though, I notice something. Her hands… They’re wandering around the blankets, looking for something to grasp, but they just can’t find anything.
I reach out both of my hands and take one of hers in each.
Hanako then applies her own change in pace. Using my arms for leverage, she begins plunging up and down on me more rapidly, pushing my elbows into the blanket. Her gasps turn to panting, and her face turns even brighter red than I remember it.
Naturally, the feeling is mutual, since I find myself wincing in pleasure too as it courses through me. I don’t know how much longer I can last, with her going at this rate.
As I continue to observe her writhing in pleasure, I notice how loud she’s being, and then it hits me. There’s nobody around for the next couple kilometers. We can be as loud as we like out here.
I let my instincts run loose again, and I hear some moans escape my own mouth. Almost as if that’s what she needed to hear, Hanako goes over the edge, shuddering, and so do I, as we both orgasm in what feels like a blissful eternity. She opens her eyes and looks straight at me as the waves of ecstasy come crashing down on us both, overpowering us, and I couldn’t be happier if this moment lasted forever.
██████████████████████████████████████████████ END H-CONTENT ██████████████████████████████████████████████
I again open my eyes, and Hanako herself has collapsed on top of me, with both her arms wrapped around my waist, her head on my chest and her breathing ragged, just like mine. She looks up at me as we lay here, and I smile back, letting her know that everything’s good.
I see her toss the picnic basket off the blankets and into the field, and she then takes each edge of the blanket and folds them over us, wrapping us up like a cocoon.
“So, Hanako, I thought you said we were gonna be back before it’s too late.”
“We are. Just…. just a little while longer.”
By now, both of our breathing rates have returned to normal, and the only feeling in the world is her body pressed up against me, her breasts acting as a cushion between us, while we both hold each other and gaze into each other’s eyes. Basking in the afterglow like this, just showing affection in every way we can... This is amazing. This is how I want us to be.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
--
Hair splayed on back
Togetherness
The alcohol is warm as it goes down
When we get at it, things get just plain hot
And in the afterglow, we’re cooling down
“Well, here we are.”
Hanako’s words carry an air of tranquility with them, a modest statement to conclude an uneventful day.
And she’s entirely right. Here we are, arms linked, standing in front of the summer house I’ve been told so much about. It’s quite the sight despite its modest stature, but I guess that’s thanks to the sunset behind us casting an orange shadow across its veneer, marking the day’s end. I’ve had my doubts about coming here, but the chance to spend some time with two pretty girls at a secluded retreat in the summer isn’t one I could easily pass up.
Granted, Lilly already knows about me and Hanako, so that probably rules out some possibilities of what might happen here, but I suppose it invites others, doesn’t it?
…Goddamnit Hisao, get your act together. It’s just you and Hanako. No need to get any ideas.
But before I can chastise myself any further, Lilly speaks up.
“And if Akira is to be believed, there is a surprise inside.”
Hanako and I share a surprised look ourselves. I take it on myself to ask Lilly what she’s talking about.
“A surprise? What’s that mean?”
“I apologize, but it’s more for me than it is for you.”
A near devilish smirk comes across her face, which she does a bad job of suppressing
“Although you may enjoy it regardless of that fact.”
Oh, hell, Lilly. How do you even get off on keeping us in the dark like this anyway?
As if on cue, the three of us approach the front door, unlink our arms, and stand by while Lilly procures a key so she may allow us inside.
The second my foot hits the floor, a question crosses my mind.
“So, where should I put my stuff?”
Lilly pauses for a second before responding.
“You don’t want to see the surprise?”
Inquisitive. Tempting. Maddening. Lilly, you’ve really roped me in with that one question.
“I thought you said that it was more for you. But alright, I guess I’ll come along if it’s that big of a deal.”
She leads us to the kitchen, and there we find a large plastic crate of some sort with a caged entrance. As much as I’d like to examine the kitchen itself a bit more, this has really caught my attention. It appears to be a little under half my height, and every so often it appears to shift slightly or emit a sound. I think I’ve seen ones like it before, in pet stores that I’ve visited back in the city. Could this really be…?
Lilly bends down and runs her fingers over the contours of the caged side, before finding a latch and releasing it. She lets out a cry as it flies open.
“Niji~! C’mon, boy!”
“Whoa!”
Before the exclamation has entirely left my mouth, a large furry dog has leaped out of the cage and begun jumping at Lilly, his tail wagging restlessly. It almost looks like he’s trying to lick her face, which makes me almost laugh.
Hanako emits a squeal as well, but I can tell that it’s one of excitement rather than surprise. She immediately embraces Niji and begins stroking his fur, which catches his attention- and his nose. As he begins sniffing and playing with her, she starts giggling uncontrollably, and a smile parades itself onto my face with such ease that I don’t think anything in the world could wipe it off.
I guess it kind of would make sense for Hanako to take such a liking to him, since he’s not likely to find her scars repulsive… or even mildly interesting in the same way that a person would. Being a dog, one might say he’s the epitome of unbiased: not caring how a person looks or acts around others, having no desire to judge them, but only wanting affection from those closest to him, and returning it many times over.
And it shows, as his tail has not stopped wagging for one second since he was let out of the cage.
Now, with all the excitement out of the way, my query comes out plainly.
“A dog?”
“A seeing-eye dog, yes.”
Her nonchalant mention of Niji’s purpose catches me off guard, and takes a chunk of the happiness I was just feeling with along it. It feels… it feels like she thinks we’re abandoning her. Like this is some kind of last resort to maintain some independence without inconveniencing us, the occupied lovebirds.
“Lilly…”
“Well, since Hanako has been spending so much time with you, and Akira has been getting more and more busy with her work, I figured it would be best to get acquainted sooner rather than later.”
“Hey, you don’t have to do that. If you ever need something, Hanako and I would both gladly oblige. Right, Hanako?”
“Mmhmm.”
A glance in her direction shows me that she’s still playing with Niji, and only barely conscious of what’s going on over here. The way she continues to ruffle his fur and rub his belly tells me that she’s clearly not feeling the same way about this that I am.
“Oh, no, it’s quite alright. I don’t want to be a burden, and the sooner I can get used to all this, the sooner I can regain a degree of freedom.”
“Fine, Lilly, if you insist. But never tell yourself that you can’t ask something of Hanako or I.”
“I won’t. Thank you for your concern, but this is something I must get used to.”
The following awkward silence hangs painfully in the air, and I conjure a some small talk to hopefully break it.
“…So his name is Niji?”
“Indeed. Akira was a much bigger advocate of the name than I, but it ended up sticking.”
“Why’d you only agree to start training him now instead of some other time?”
“I’d rather get through the tough part -the introduction, if you will- when there’s little else going on to get in the way. I don’t think I’d appreciate having the extra stress piled on top of the usual work from school.”
That sounds fair enough. I’m not sure how I feel about him being here during our stay, though. He’s already captured Hanako, and I don’t want this trend to continue for too long.
“Alright… Looks like a golden retriever. Is that correct?”
“Yes. Golden retrievers are known to be very intelligent, and are the most popular seeing-eye dogs for the blind.”
Another question embeds itself into my mind, and as much as I don’t want to make a big deal of it, it kills me to think of going this whole stay without knowing the answer. I guess I’ll just have to make it sound casual.
I clear my throat, and immediately catch the attention of both girls. This is already turning out worse than I hoped for.
“Is he neutered?”
Even with my best efforts put behind making it sound relaxed, I see Lilly smile and Hanako suppress a laugh. Damn it.
“Yes. Yes, he is.”
I sigh… A move that undoubtedly made things no better, as Hanako can no longer contain herself and Lilly looks like she’s in pain as she tries to restrain a laugh or two.
This isn’t good.
“H-hey, how about we finish unpacking? It’s kinda late and I’d like to get to bed, you know?
“Whatever you say, Hisao.”
…
…
…
So, with the details ironed out, this trip looks like it’s beginning to really shape up.
There’s a lone bedroom which Lilly and Hanako will be sharing, and a futon in the living room for me. The kitchen is already stocked with food, and my clothes are folded and neat. I’ve got my medication ready, and it’s 10 o’clock and time for me to go to bed.
But before I do, there’s one last order of business I’d like to attend to.
A quick trek across the house brings me to the bedroom. I knock twice…
“Come in.”
And after hearing Hanako’s voice, invite myself inside.
I am greeted by the sight of each of the two girls already in her pajamas, with Hanako petting and hugging Niji once more, while Lilly is filing through her things, evidently making sure it’s all in order.
“You seem awfully fixed on Niji, Hanako. Forget about me?”
What was meant to be a joke probably just came across as scolding back there. This is only made all the more evident by Hanako’s gaze dropping to the floor and a look of ragged dejection appearing on her face. In my defense, it is late, and I am kind of irritated how she’s almost ignoring me.
“Anyway, I’m done. Just wanted to let you two know.”
This time, Lilly is the one to answer.
“As are we. Just making sure everything’s in order”
“Okay. Anyway, I’ll be heading to bed. See you two in the morning.”
Lilly giggles, one hand covering her mouth.
…Oh, that might be why. I might never accustom myself to avoiding that kind of language… but then again, it’s probably better that I don’t.
“Good night, Hisao.”
When I look to Hanako, she remains silent, looking at the floor. Maybe I was too harsh, but I’m certain she can take the criticism if she just realizes that I don’t think of her any differently because of it.
I take my leave, shutting the door behind me, but before it falls into place and clicks, a foot intercepts it and it sways back open.
When I turn to see who it is, it’s none other than Hanako, who shuts the door silently behind her.
She then looks up at me with such pleading eyes that I expect that I’ll have to ask her what’s wrong. Instead, she makes the first move.
“I… just want to say I’m sorry. I know that you… have expectations of me as your girlfriend, and I want to live up to them, but… sometimes I get caught up in the moment. This probably wasn’t the best first day here for you… because of me, and I’m sorry about that.”
Given the sheer innocence and purity of her words, I couldn’t possibly stay mad at her over something so trivial. It almost makes me crack a smile, to see her taking charge for her shortcomings, if it would be appropriate to use that term.
“B-but I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”
And now these words carry such spirit and indignation; I can’t help but believe her.
“That’s alright, Hanako. Heck, even more than alright now, if you’re willing to make things better.”
I look her in the eye for a moment, verifying that the feeling is mutual, then turn to leave-
“Good night Hisao. I love you.”
Oh, how stupid of me.
“Love you too. Night.”
With that, we share a kiss goodnight, and I make my way back to the futon while Hanako retires to her room.
And before I know it, I’m asleep.
…
…
…
Something shakes my body back and forth momentarily, so I let out a groan and hit the snooze button- which appears to be the side of an end table now.
Suddenly, a voice amongst the deafening silence.
“Hisao…”
That’s… that’s Hanako, isn’t it?
I attempt to open my eyes, and am greeted by the sight of red, white, and purple.
“Oh, hello there Hanako… Looking to sleep with me tonight or something?”
Wow. If she even heard that mumble, I’d be impressed.
“You… you said that you wanted something more from this trip… So… I decided- I mean, would you like to go on a picnic?”
“A picnic? This late at night? What time is it?”
I guess I never was a heavy sleeper, and it couldn’t have been that long since I fell asleep. My senses must be returning to be rather quickly.
“Right now, it’s midnight. The picnic is… it’s not much. I just packed some snacks and grabbed some blankets…”
She sheepishly holds up a picnic basket to me and mentions toward a pile of folded blankets set beside her.
“Well, if you’re already this prepared, that doesn’t leave me with much of a choice, now does it?”
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t think…”
“Hey, no worries. I don’t think I could have asked for things to turn out better.”
As I impart every bit of sincerity I can muster into my words, I see the corners of Hanako’s mouth raise ever so slightly, and I know my efforts have paid off.
“So, Hanako, you think you’ll be alright heading out on a picnic in your nightgown?”
My question appears to have caught her off-guard.
“W-well, you’re still in your pajamas too.”
She says this quite challengingly. Oh, it’s on alright.
“I know, I know. But you just woke me up, so I don’t know how you can expect me to be dressed already.”
She lost. Soundly defeated and she knows it, but her smile doesn’t show it.
“Alright… I’ll go up and get dressed.”
“And I’ll meet you down here at the doorway.”
With that settled, she takes her leave and I slip into some more appropriate clothing.
She soon catches up, and we both depart, her in the lead with the basket and a flashlight in hand, and me trailing behind with the blankets clutched in my arms. Whenever I can get close, I can tell that she smells… different than she did earlier. It’s quite pleasant, maybe some kind of perfume.
It finally occurs to me that I’m missing a very important part of this expedition.
“Hey, so… where are we going, anyway?”
“There’s a… a wheat field nearby. It seemed like a nice place to go.”
“Okay, then. I’ll hold you to that.”
Each of us satisfied with where our conversation has ended, we continue on without another word.
We move surprisingly quickly; she deftly glides through the fields, avoiding the taller stalks of wheat and taking care not to trample the shorter ones, and I follow, memorizing her movements and repeating them as best I can. Now that I take note of it, it’s actually kind of warm for the nighttime, even if it is Summer. Not that I mind, it definitely beats the usual frigid airs.
“This should be good.”
I stop in my tracks, and she sets her things down. Before I can ask her about the blankets, she has taken one of the ends, and we are spreading them out along the ground.
Several minutes later, we’re finally seated and set up, and there’s one thing that’s been on my mind for a while now.
“So, what’s all in the basket?”
She stiffens up at the mention of its contents, and then relaxes shortly after. Now I’m left wondering what’s even on her mind.
“W-well, it’s mostly small things, like some bread, crackers, some bottles of water…”
As I see her hand wander over the lid and gingerly open it, my eyes are drawn to what’s inside.
“Is that…?”
She nods timidly.
“Does Lilly even know about it? Like, that it was even in the house?”
She looks straight at me and shrugs, her gaze unwavering… and worried. She’s probably concerned about whether or not I’d even approve of such a thing. And then there’s the implications beyond that…
“Well, it would be a shame to bring it all the way out here for nothing, huh?”
Hanako, visibly lightened by my reaction, reaches inside the picnic basket and grasps the neck of a bottle of fine wine. It’s black, and amongst the foreign text on the side, there’s a picture of some vines and grapes.
My eyes follow the bottle as she leans it against the side of the basket and takes out a pair of wine glasses to drink from.
Wine glasses… the idea strikes me as strangely feminine.
She hands one to me, and we try to set them on the blanket, but the uneven ground makes them fall over with every attempt, so we find ourselves simply holding the wine glasses as we pour our drinks.
“So, Hisao…”
“Yeah?”
“There’s something I’d like to show you.”
“Show me?”
I think my words match my reaction quite well. I think I’ve seen everything there is to see several times now.
“Well, you can’t physically see it… I mean-“
And before I know it, she’s stumbling over her words in embarrassment.
“…I-I know my English isn’t the best, s-so I’ve been practicing hard…”
The finally rights herself and makes a conclusive statement.
“So I hope you enjoy it.”
She takes one deep breath, and begins tapping the side of her foot against the ground.
The then clears her throat and begins to sing.
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now.
Back beat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out.
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding.
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how.
Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do.
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now.
And all the roads that lead you there are winding.
And all the lights that light the way are blinding.
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
Her voice dances in the air, mingles with the stars, flits in between the stalks of wheat, and the feeling is incredible. While some of the English leaves me hanging, I pick up the majority of the words, and the fact that she chose this song, of all things, to show to me raises a few questions.
I applaud her performance, and she stands up to take a bow. She’s blushing really hard now, to the point where I can see it even in the dim starlight.
“Nicely done, Hanako. We really have to bring you out to a karaoke bar some time.”
“Th-thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“But I’ve got a question about the song you chose. Some of the lyrics said that ‘Maybe I’m gonna be the one that saves you.’ But… I thought that you always wanted a lover, not a hero.”
“That’s why it’s a maybe. I... guess I’m not really sure what I want...”
“In me?”
“In life.”
“But I’ll find out. I’ll find my way... it's just that... the way I’ve lived my life for so long... it's hard to throw that away, even if it feels nice to be treated as an equal… Even though I hated every bit of my ‘old life’, it's still a part of me. Even with you around, I sometimes feel like I can’t do enough, or I can't be enough.”
“I don't think that's a healthy train of thought, Hanako. Our pasts don't have to continue to affect us. They already took their toll. That's why they're in the past. Because we can move on.”
“That's what I like to tell myself, but change is hard. I’ve been dependent on others for so long, and... the thought of being independent is really scary.”
“Please, Hanako. I know you can do whatever you put your mind to. I believe in you, so please believe me when I say I have total confidence in you.”
My words sound oddly sharp. I hope I’m not being too forceful, but I think that it shows just how deep my faith in her is.
“I… alright.”
“Let’s get something to eat, why don’t we?”
She nods in agreement.
The following minutes are spent eating the food she brought along, with a healthy dose of stargazing. The wheat makes for a comfortable pillow underneath the blankets, so sitting back and getting comfortable isn’t hard.
I notice that I’m having quite a bit more of the wine to drink than she is. Maybe that’s just because I can stand more of it without becoming intoxicated than she can.
Soon, each of us has eaten our share, and the food is entirely repacked in the basket. Hanako uses the opportunity to reestablish a bridge of communication between us. It was getting awfully quiet.
“I’ve always imagined… spending a night under the starlit sky with someone I love.”
“Have you ever told Lilly? I don’t think she’d mind, even if she can’t see the stars.”
“Not… like that…”
Oh.
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
“Well then, I’d be happy to make that dream a reality. But I don’t think it would be such a great idea to stay out here for the whole night. Lilly doesn’t even know we’re here.”
“That what I was thinking as well… I guess we’ll just have to… make a compromise. Head back afterward, before it gets too late.”
Compromises. Such an integral part of life, aren’t they? You can’t always get what you want, after all. So we push on. We push on with the hand that we’re dealt, trying to make the most of it.
Maybe we could say the same of Niji. He’s basically here for Lilly, but if I don’t at least try to enjoy his existence, I never will. And it looks like Hanako’s already realized that and is acting upon it, while I’m barely coming to terms with the fact. It almost makes me a bit jealous to see her capable of enjoying the small things in life, whereas I cannot.
…Oh shit.
“What’s the matter?”
Did I say that out loud? Guess I better explain…
“I kinda… sorta… don’t have any kind of… protection with me.”
“That’s alright. I’m… I-I-I’m on the pill. I want this trip to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us.
I look her dead in the eyes.
“Wow, Hanako.”
“W-w-what’s the matter?!”
She’s so flustered now, she can’t help her stammering. I’d better defuse this situation.
“It just seems silly to me, that you’re capable of going out in public and buying something like that, for us, but you don’t think that you’re capable of being as independent as anyone else.”
She seems to agree with my reasoning. I guess I did a good job.
“Y-yeah, I guess so…”
“Alcohol or no, let’s make this night one to remember.”
██████████████████████████████████████████████ BEGIN H-CONTENT ██████████████████████████████████████████████
My head bobs forward to steal an abbreviated kiss from her. After letting go, she gazes deep into my eyes, and lunges forward to kiss me, taking us to the ground.
The feeling of her body next to mine combined with the hot summer night is already beginning to make me sweat. As I snake my hand around her body, under her clothing, I can tell that she’s feeling it too.
Eventually it finds rest just below her navel, and my eyes dart to hers. She sends a smile and a nod my way, and I reply by shutting my eyes and kissing her firmly as my hand finds its way underneath her silken panties. A finger grazes her dripping slit, making her whimper into my mouth, and making me fel the reverberations.
She moans once more as I slip a finger inside, and I pull back my head and take another look at her to see how she’s taking things. The slight “o” formed by her trembling lips is quite telling- she’s really enjoying this. Before I know it, instinct rears its head, and another finger has found its way inside her, and my hand is sliding up and down her crotch while my two fingers slide in and out of her.
She gasps with each movement, and after a while, I notice her reach toward my shirt in the midst of her surges of pleasure and begin unbuttoning it. She’s willing to escalate this, and so am I. A final motion withdraws my hand, now dripping with her juices, and I take hold of her top and pull it off her, kissing the nape of her neck once as I do so. She finishes with my shirt, and as one thing leads to another, each of us fully undresses the other.
Even in the nude, I can still feel the heat coming off both her and myself, and I push her back onto the blanket, so that we can begin.
I place myself above her, and the look in her eye changes from timid to fierce. At this response, I begin grinding against her entrance, making eye contact the whole way. Each motion -each thrust- further excites me, and further drives her into ecstasy. I take her bared legs and push them out to the sides, and then an idea strikes me.
“Hey, Hanako. Would you like to be on top this time?”
Surprise takes the reigns, and her competitive visage melts away.
“M-me?”
“On top, yes. We haven’t tried things this way before, and I think I trust you enough to let you do something like that.”
“I… Sure. L-let’s do it.”
I lay myself next to her on the blanket, and she extends one leg over me, then the other. As she begins to straddle me, I again take note of her shapely body. Her thighs spread out far from her core, only further being exaggerated by the position she has taken above me. Her waist… her breasts… really, not one part of her is unattractive, even with the scarring covering half of it. And then there’s her face, flushed with redness and eager to begin.
“Go on.”
She takes me in one hand and gradually sets herself down on me. A gasp escapes her as our hips meet, and she looks at me demurely, unsure of what to do next.
“Umm…”
She then starts swaying her hips in tiny circles, taking me with her. The feeling of her insides clenching around me like this, unadulterated, is unlike any other. I just might lose myself in it.
She starts going faster, then stops suddenly. As I look to her to see what the issue is, I see her lift herself off me, give her rear a little shake, and then set herself back down on me, again taking the entirety of my member inside her with an arousing moan.
“S-sorry, just wanted to get more comfortable…”
A reassuring smile says that it’s more than alright, and she again begins pleasuring us both with her fluid movements. This time, though, I notice something. Her hands… They’re wandering around the blankets, looking for something to grasp, but they just can’t find anything.
I reach out both of my hands and take one of hers in each.
Hanako then applies her own change in pace. Using my arms for leverage, she begins plunging up and down on me more rapidly, pushing my elbows into the blanket. Her gasps turn to panting, and her face turns even brighter red than I remember it.
Naturally, the feeling is mutual, since I find myself wincing in pleasure too as it courses through me. I don’t know how much longer I can last, with her going at this rate.
As I continue to observe her writhing in pleasure, I notice how loud she’s being, and then it hits me. There’s nobody around for the next couple kilometers. We can be as loud as we like out here.
I let my instincts run loose again, and I hear some moans escape my own mouth. Almost as if that’s what she needed to hear, Hanako goes over the edge, shuddering, and so do I, as we both orgasm in what feels like a blissful eternity. She opens her eyes and looks straight at me as the waves of ecstasy come crashing down on us both, overpowering us, and I couldn’t be happier if this moment lasted forever.
██████████████████████████████████████████████ END H-CONTENT ██████████████████████████████████████████████
I again open my eyes, and Hanako herself has collapsed on top of me, with both her arms wrapped around my waist, her head on my chest and her breathing ragged, just like mine. She looks up at me as we lay here, and I smile back, letting her know that everything’s good.
I see her toss the picnic basket off the blankets and into the field, and she then takes each edge of the blanket and folds them over us, wrapping us up like a cocoon.
“So, Hanako, I thought you said we were gonna be back before it’s too late.”
“We are. Just…. just a little while longer.”
By now, both of our breathing rates have returned to normal, and the only feeling in the world is her body pressed up against me, her breasts acting as a cushion between us, while we both hold each other and gaze into each other’s eyes. Basking in the afterglow like this, just showing affection in every way we can... This is amazing. This is how I want us to be.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
--
Hair splayed on back
Togetherness
The alcohol is warm as it goes down
When we get at it, things get just plain hot
And in the afterglow, we’re cooling down
Rainbow
CHAPTER 2: RAINBOW
WAGGING HIS TAIL A LOT
Wake up, seek out hana
She’s in the kitchen, looming over the stovetop
Oh god this hangover
“the heck happened?”
“We did some lewd things and you fell asleep shortly after”
“Ah shit”
“No, it’s okay. I woke you up and then you loudly said that you love me many times.”
“Many times?”
“It was probably around six or seven in total. It was kinda cheesy, but I wasn’t going to stop you.”
Some kinda silence (decide on awkward or not)
“So then we had to stumble over eachother all the way home with the blankets and basket. The late night, alcohol, and physical exhaustion made it take a while, and when we arrived, you passed out on the doorstep… I, uh, panicked a little, but you turned out to be fine”
Panicked a little… I wonder if it would have been a lot if not for her- no, our drunken stupor.
Anyway, this is kinda relieving
Make that really relieving
“Aww, you’re the best”
“It was the least I could do. Please, take care of yourself. After all, you’d given me a… well… a lot of things.”
“Hey, I’ve got pills to make sure I live long and healthy, right?”
Right? Is that what I really believe? I mean, I’m still never going to have a fully uninhibited life. The doctors did say…
Enough of what the doctors said. I’ll take my meds, I’ll seize the day, and everything will be all right. I should be enjoying the younger years of my life, and what better way to start than with Hanako?
Another question crosses my mind
“So, how come you remember all this, but I don’t?”
“I didn’t have as much alcohol as you did”
Huh. I guess she’s right, I don’t recall her having that much at all last night.
“Why… is that? I remember at your last birthday party, you had a lot more than me.”
“I always heard that alcohol… could numb pain. So I figured… with the reminder looming overhead of my actual birthday…”
It takes me a while to get her meaning
“Hanako…”
The thought that she might find it necessary to drown her sorrows is even more depressing now than I’d ever think it could be.
“Was this… Did this have anything to do with last night?”
She shakes her head. Her eyes are misty, but clearing up
“I just thought it might make things a bit more romantic”
I’m not sure how much I believe her off the bat, but it seems logical. I think it’s better for me to learn to trust her.
“Alright, I’ll take your word for it.”
A silence hangs in the air, which I dispel with another not-very-urgent question that has been sitting in my mind ever since I entered.
“So, uhhh, what’s cooking?”
Well, I was making breakfast (decide on what that is).
…Now that I think about it, I could have added “good looking” to the end of that question. Curse this hangover.
But I guess this while cooking thing shouldn’t come as a surprise. It is one of her hobbies.
And yet, this is kind of weird. It’s… different, in a pleasant way. It’s like sex is really becoming a normal part of our lives. Nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
Before our early morning conversation -or the closest thing we can get to one- can continue any further, the sound of feet coming down the stairs at a rapid pace catches us off guard.
“Is that…?”
“It’s definitely not Lilly!”
The words have barely escaped my mouth before a very excited Niji is on the ground floor and barreling toward the kitchen.
I catch him, pet him for a while, she keeps on cooking
Lilly wakes up and comes down, we eat
I’d have expected Hanako and I to have slept longer than Lilly did since we were both tired.
But maybe that’s just indicative of who we are. Maybe Hanako and I are just a pair of rascals/wild-at-hearts, madly in love and rarely even stopping to sleep. RECKLESS LOVERS
As Niji sniffs Hanako, I realize that we might not be totally “clean” from last night. Sweat and alcohol. Two odors in the world that are unmistakable once you get to know them. Niji proably doesn’t recognize them, even if he and his doggy dog nose find them interesting. I don’t think I can say the same about Lilly.
Although with the scent of breakfast wafting through the air/house, she may not even notice the evidence of our night out at the field. I wonder if Hanako had that in mind…
“So, I know that we’re not just here on vacation. I mean, we’ve got a dog on board. What’s on the agenda for today?”
(Training stuff
Such as?)
Bathtime
“Whoa what”
“We’re bathing Niji, silly.”
Well fuck I thought I was gonna get naked with two pretty girls for a second there.
I decline, go to watch commercials
Well, maybe I should join them, but it’s too late
At least, as far as bathtime goes.
Within due time, four pairs of feet are again walking, and I go to intercept them.
Hey, Hanako, Lilly, I think…
That smell…
Wet dog
Oh god it’s terrible
Pity Lilly, since she probably relies on her smell a lot more than others
So, I want to join you two in whatever it is you do next
Well, we’re walking the dog. I know of a wheat field nearby where we could play fetch.
I shoot Hanako a confused glance, which she silences with a lone finger propped up in the air. I hope that means she’s going to tell me how Lilly knows about the wheat field at a later time.
Regardless, it’s interesting to see Lilly’s take on the wheat field. She’d suggest using it for something as cute as playing fetch with a dog, but Hanako and I used it for something… less innocent.
Walk there, get tired
MODIFY DOG DAYS TO HAVE HISAO GETTING TIRED FROM WALKING AND CARRYING THE STUFF
Undo his leash
Throw the ball around for a bit with varying degrees of power, all of us participate, he gets tired as well
He gets tired easily, just like you
nice to know im comparable to a dog
one particularly long throw sends him far away
his head bobbing up and down out of the stalks as he bounds through the wheat
It’s kinda fun. More so than I imagined
(also the way lilly squats down and outstretches her hands so he may dutifully place the slobbery tennis ball in her hands)
“Loyal, huh? Nice quality for a seeing eye dog.”
Lilly mentions a spot where the wheat seems to be pressed down, I share a look with Hanako.
“Maybe it was left behind by aaancient aaalieeennss”
I wave my hands around to accommodate my point, but my gesture goes unnoticed by Lilly. Fortunately, she and Hanako both heard the joke, so a couple hearty laughs are my reward. I follow up to “verify” my claim.
“You know, like the crop circles in nazca or whatever”
Hanako pipes up
“The Nazca Lines aren’t crop circles, and they weren’t left behind by aliens.”
“My my, someone just got shown up.”
Now they’re laughing at me, not with me.
A couple more tosses; neither Hanako nor I is really eager to talk about things with lilly and niji nearby
A rumbling in my tummy
Aww jesus we missed lunch by like 3 hours
go home
I’m gonna take a moment to rest
Sloth around watching tv
I can’t shake the feeling that I would have liked to talk to Hanako a bit more on this trip
We even visited the very spot where we made love under the stars, yet we couldn’t muster a single romantic sentiment or remembrance. Sure, we revisited it in body, but not in spirit.
Damn, I don’t know what to do. Niji really has invaded/encroached on Hanako and I, and I’d like to make the trip about the two of US. I think there’s a lot of potential here for us. But I don’t want to force anything.
WAGGING HIS TAIL A LOT
Wake up, seek out hana
She’s in the kitchen, looming over the stovetop
Oh god this hangover
“the heck happened?”
“We did some lewd things and you fell asleep shortly after”
“Ah shit”
“No, it’s okay. I woke you up and then you loudly said that you love me many times.”
“Many times?”
“It was probably around six or seven in total. It was kinda cheesy, but I wasn’t going to stop you.”
Some kinda silence (decide on awkward or not)
“So then we had to stumble over eachother all the way home with the blankets and basket. The late night, alcohol, and physical exhaustion made it take a while, and when we arrived, you passed out on the doorstep… I, uh, panicked a little, but you turned out to be fine”
Panicked a little… I wonder if it would have been a lot if not for her- no, our drunken stupor.
Anyway, this is kinda relieving
Make that really relieving
“Aww, you’re the best”
“It was the least I could do. Please, take care of yourself. After all, you’d given me a… well… a lot of things.”
“Hey, I’ve got pills to make sure I live long and healthy, right?”
Right? Is that what I really believe? I mean, I’m still never going to have a fully uninhibited life. The doctors did say…
Enough of what the doctors said. I’ll take my meds, I’ll seize the day, and everything will be all right. I should be enjoying the younger years of my life, and what better way to start than with Hanako?
Another question crosses my mind
“So, how come you remember all this, but I don’t?”
“I didn’t have as much alcohol as you did”
Huh. I guess she’s right, I don’t recall her having that much at all last night.
“Why… is that? I remember at your last birthday party, you had a lot more than me.”
“I always heard that alcohol… could numb pain. So I figured… with the reminder looming overhead of my actual birthday…”
It takes me a while to get her meaning
“Hanako…”
The thought that she might find it necessary to drown her sorrows is even more depressing now than I’d ever think it could be.
“Was this… Did this have anything to do with last night?”
She shakes her head. Her eyes are misty, but clearing up
“I just thought it might make things a bit more romantic”
I’m not sure how much I believe her off the bat, but it seems logical. I think it’s better for me to learn to trust her.
“Alright, I’ll take your word for it.”
A silence hangs in the air, which I dispel with another not-very-urgent question that has been sitting in my mind ever since I entered.
“So, uhhh, what’s cooking?”
Well, I was making breakfast (decide on what that is).
…Now that I think about it, I could have added “good looking” to the end of that question. Curse this hangover.
But I guess this while cooking thing shouldn’t come as a surprise. It is one of her hobbies.
And yet, this is kind of weird. It’s… different, in a pleasant way. It’s like sex is really becoming a normal part of our lives. Nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
Before our early morning conversation -or the closest thing we can get to one- can continue any further, the sound of feet coming down the stairs at a rapid pace catches us off guard.
“Is that…?”
“It’s definitely not Lilly!”
The words have barely escaped my mouth before a very excited Niji is on the ground floor and barreling toward the kitchen.
I catch him, pet him for a while, she keeps on cooking
Lilly wakes up and comes down, we eat
I’d have expected Hanako and I to have slept longer than Lilly did since we were both tired.
But maybe that’s just indicative of who we are. Maybe Hanako and I are just a pair of rascals/wild-at-hearts, madly in love and rarely even stopping to sleep. RECKLESS LOVERS
As Niji sniffs Hanako, I realize that we might not be totally “clean” from last night. Sweat and alcohol. Two odors in the world that are unmistakable once you get to know them. Niji proably doesn’t recognize them, even if he and his doggy dog nose find them interesting. I don’t think I can say the same about Lilly.
Although with the scent of breakfast wafting through the air/house, she may not even notice the evidence of our night out at the field. I wonder if Hanako had that in mind…
“So, I know that we’re not just here on vacation. I mean, we’ve got a dog on board. What’s on the agenda for today?”
(Training stuff
Such as?)
Bathtime
“Whoa what”
“We’re bathing Niji, silly.”
Well fuck I thought I was gonna get naked with two pretty girls for a second there.
I decline, go to watch commercials
Well, maybe I should join them, but it’s too late
At least, as far as bathtime goes.
Within due time, four pairs of feet are again walking, and I go to intercept them.
Hey, Hanako, Lilly, I think…
That smell…
Wet dog
Oh god it’s terrible
Pity Lilly, since she probably relies on her smell a lot more than others
So, I want to join you two in whatever it is you do next
Well, we’re walking the dog. I know of a wheat field nearby where we could play fetch.
I shoot Hanako a confused glance, which she silences with a lone finger propped up in the air. I hope that means she’s going to tell me how Lilly knows about the wheat field at a later time.
Regardless, it’s interesting to see Lilly’s take on the wheat field. She’d suggest using it for something as cute as playing fetch with a dog, but Hanako and I used it for something… less innocent.
Walk there, get tired
MODIFY DOG DAYS TO HAVE HISAO GETTING TIRED FROM WALKING AND CARRYING THE STUFF
Undo his leash
Throw the ball around for a bit with varying degrees of power, all of us participate, he gets tired as well
He gets tired easily, just like you
nice to know im comparable to a dog
one particularly long throw sends him far away
his head bobbing up and down out of the stalks as he bounds through the wheat
It’s kinda fun. More so than I imagined
(also the way lilly squats down and outstretches her hands so he may dutifully place the slobbery tennis ball in her hands)
“Loyal, huh? Nice quality for a seeing eye dog.”
Lilly mentions a spot where the wheat seems to be pressed down, I share a look with Hanako.
“Maybe it was left behind by aaancient aaalieeennss”
I wave my hands around to accommodate my point, but my gesture goes unnoticed by Lilly. Fortunately, she and Hanako both heard the joke, so a couple hearty laughs are my reward. I follow up to “verify” my claim.
“You know, like the crop circles in nazca or whatever”
Hanako pipes up
“The Nazca Lines aren’t crop circles, and they weren’t left behind by aliens.”
“My my, someone just got shown up.”
Now they’re laughing at me, not with me.
A couple more tosses; neither Hanako nor I is really eager to talk about things with lilly and niji nearby
A rumbling in my tummy
Aww jesus we missed lunch by like 3 hours
go home
I’m gonna take a moment to rest
Sloth around watching tv
I can’t shake the feeling that I would have liked to talk to Hanako a bit more on this trip
We even visited the very spot where we made love under the stars, yet we couldn’t muster a single romantic sentiment or remembrance. Sure, we revisited it in body, but not in spirit.
Damn, I don’t know what to do. Niji really has invaded/encroached on Hanako and I, and I’d like to make the trip about the two of US. I think there’s a lot of potential here for us. But I don’t want to force anything.
Entanglement
CHAPTER 3: ENTANGLEMENT
Our summer break will be over soon. And as much as I hate to admit it, things haven’t been going how I’d like. Niji’s involvement has been driving a wedge between me and Hanako, and I’d like to go back to being the lovebirds we were on our first night here. So I’m going to talk to her.
She’s with niji, says he’s been acting weird.
I dismiss it.
Hey let’s hang out more. I feel that with this secure, happy YOU, we could really enjoy this trip.
SHE USES THIS TO TELL ME SOME MORE OF HER PAST
ABOUT HOW PEOPLE HURT HER AND SHE KIND OF BECAME MISANTHROPIC
AND SHE LIKES NIJI BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY HE CAN HURT HER
AND I TELL HER TO GET OUT THERE AND PUT HERSELF OUT IN THE WORLD BECAUSE I KNOW SHE CAN DO IT
BUT IT SHOULD NOT GET AS EMOTIONAL AS THE ENDING OF DEMON DAYS I THINK
“I’m sorry about me and Niji.”
Lets go on a walk
Meet Lilly
“Hey, lil”
“Hello, Hisao”
Clears her throat. Smiles.
“…and Hanako. I’ll just, you know, be right here. No plans to come inside for a couple hours.”
“You won’t get bored? I-I mean, I don’t mind if you want to stay out here.”
She shakes her head.
“No, it’s quite alright. I’d just like to get away from the dog business for a while.”
Go walk
i wonder if niji is somehow reminiscent of my own condition. i'm not at all sure if i should try to distance myself from the problems; put myself in a position where they cease being problems, or accept them, submit to their presence, and then face them head on
do i work around it, or work through it? i'm certain that an inspirational speaker or someone like that would say to grab life by the horns, but i don't know if my situation would make such a thing viable.
Take her by the hand and go away-ish
“How does Lilly know about this place, anyway? Did you tell her about that night or something?”
“No, I didn’t tell her… That was just between you and I. Since I… like to think I’m becoming my own person and all. It’s just that she’s been here before, and I haven’t, so…”
“Did you ask her what it was like?”
“Y-yes.”
“For us?”
“I-I-I didn’t tell her that! But, yes.”
Enjoy the scenery and serenity
I can feel us growing closer already
Meet Lilly on the way back
Hi
Me and Hanako are kind of nervous around Lilly since we both know what’s gonna happen, so we step inside as quickly as we can.
Things get heated.
“Are you sure? I mean you know her better than I do, you probably know her hearing better”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine. She’s… on the other side of the house for a reason, I bet”
“So she can’t hear us, and it’s not like she can see the stains.”
The sound of a slap echoes throughout the room, and when I open my eyes, my head is turned sideways a bit, and my cheek stings with heat.
“S-sorry! I just-“
“Hey, it’s no big deal”
sexy time
probably lotus I friggin guess
finish, lie with her, it’s all good
get up and dressed, scope out the house
oh hey it’s niji
he must be taking some time to rest. It is kinda warm even in here, in the middle of summer
niji get up, you could use a drink
get up niji come on
this isn’t funny niji
“g-get his pulse”
check his neck
“uhh, dogs don’t normally have a pulse there, right?”
I look back at her, and her hands are over her mouth and her eyebrows are turned up and her eyes are wide open
No response
I put my hand on his chest and feel no movement
I scramble to put my ear up to his chest
Still nothing
“Uh, Hanako, I think he might…”
She’s frozen in place
I make a dash to the front door
“Lilly! Lilly!”
Our summer break will be over soon. And as much as I hate to admit it, things haven’t been going how I’d like. Niji’s involvement has been driving a wedge between me and Hanako, and I’d like to go back to being the lovebirds we were on our first night here. So I’m going to talk to her.
She’s with niji, says he’s been acting weird.
I dismiss it.
Hey let’s hang out more. I feel that with this secure, happy YOU, we could really enjoy this trip.
SHE USES THIS TO TELL ME SOME MORE OF HER PAST
ABOUT HOW PEOPLE HURT HER AND SHE KIND OF BECAME MISANTHROPIC
AND SHE LIKES NIJI BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY HE CAN HURT HER
AND I TELL HER TO GET OUT THERE AND PUT HERSELF OUT IN THE WORLD BECAUSE I KNOW SHE CAN DO IT
BUT IT SHOULD NOT GET AS EMOTIONAL AS THE ENDING OF DEMON DAYS I THINK
“I’m sorry about me and Niji.”
Lets go on a walk
Meet Lilly
“Hey, lil”
“Hello, Hisao”
Clears her throat. Smiles.
“…and Hanako. I’ll just, you know, be right here. No plans to come inside for a couple hours.”
“You won’t get bored? I-I mean, I don’t mind if you want to stay out here.”
She shakes her head.
“No, it’s quite alright. I’d just like to get away from the dog business for a while.”
Go walk
i wonder if niji is somehow reminiscent of my own condition. i'm not at all sure if i should try to distance myself from the problems; put myself in a position where they cease being problems, or accept them, submit to their presence, and then face them head on
do i work around it, or work through it? i'm certain that an inspirational speaker or someone like that would say to grab life by the horns, but i don't know if my situation would make such a thing viable.
Take her by the hand and go away-ish
“How does Lilly know about this place, anyway? Did you tell her about that night or something?”
“No, I didn’t tell her… That was just between you and I. Since I… like to think I’m becoming my own person and all. It’s just that she’s been here before, and I haven’t, so…”
“Did you ask her what it was like?”
“Y-yes.”
“For us?”
“I-I-I didn’t tell her that! But, yes.”
Enjoy the scenery and serenity
I can feel us growing closer already
Meet Lilly on the way back
Hi
Me and Hanako are kind of nervous around Lilly since we both know what’s gonna happen, so we step inside as quickly as we can.
Things get heated.
“Are you sure? I mean you know her better than I do, you probably know her hearing better”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine. She’s… on the other side of the house for a reason, I bet”
“So she can’t hear us, and it’s not like she can see the stains.”
The sound of a slap echoes throughout the room, and when I open my eyes, my head is turned sideways a bit, and my cheek stings with heat.
“S-sorry! I just-“
“Hey, it’s no big deal”
sexy time
probably lotus I friggin guess
finish, lie with her, it’s all good
get up and dressed, scope out the house
oh hey it’s niji
he must be taking some time to rest. It is kinda warm even in here, in the middle of summer
niji get up, you could use a drink
get up niji come on
this isn’t funny niji
“g-get his pulse”
check his neck
“uhh, dogs don’t normally have a pulse there, right?”
I look back at her, and her hands are over her mouth and her eyebrows are turned up and her eyes are wide open
No response
I put my hand on his chest and feel no movement
I scramble to put my ear up to his chest
Still nothing
“Uh, Hanako, I think he might…”
She’s frozen in place
I make a dash to the front door
“Lilly! Lilly!”
Attachment
CHAPTER 4: ATTACHMENT
we heard about niji, go home (research standard vet procedures involving dead animals in japan)
NEED A LEADIN HERE
It’s not like this is some kind of karmic justice.
I was just trying to enjoy this summer with Hanako.
Mmmkay we are in the living room
“why don't you want to talk about this?”
“i'm... i'm afraid of losing you too. I hate having to think about it”
“i know you cared about niji deeply, and i did too”
“he was often a pain, but he never meant any harm, he was wholly innocent, and i'd never wish something like this on him”
“i hate to be so objective, but maybe this could be... sort of a lesson for you and me”
“niji just died, and you're trying to make an example out of him?!”
My fist swiftly hits the wall in recourse.
“this is exactly what's wrong with you, hanako! i'm trying to make the best of a bad situation, but you would rather just sit around and wallow in pity.”
“It’s not like you haven’t done that too!”
“But I learned how to stop!”
She goes to her room, slams the door.
Maybe I shouldn’t be saying that I really learned how to stop.
I mean, yeah , I learned to get used to my new school and living with my new heart condition…
But that’s nothing.
Introspection sucks.
Whenever it is that I have to compare my circumstances to hers, it always gets me down.
I lost my friends and a potential girlfriend when I had my heart attack and spent four months in the hospital, yeah.
But she has pretty much never had friends until Lilly, Akira, and I.
And on top of that, I have never actually fought death, tooth and nail, on even one occasion, let alone several.
Losing one parent.
And the other.
And then living with the aftershock of all that.
And what’s probably the worst part, is that when I go out of my way to look at things like this, it makes me see her differently.
Lilly comes by.
“Hisao… I heard you and Hanako back there…”
“I bet you did.”
“Would you like to talk about this?”
She seems so unphased.
“why?”
For that matter, why am I even asking? I know why she wants to talk. She want to fix things. Scratch that- she wants to be the one who fixes everything.
I notice my bite has caught her off guard
“I care about Hanako. And you as well…”
She pauses, and I notice her biting into her lip. I’d find it scary if the rest of her face weren’t so sober.
“I do think you’re a beautiful person, Hisao. And she probably wants to think that as well.”
I let out a sigh.
So this is how it is. I’m getting mad at her, and she’s trying her hardest to show me that she cares about Hanako and I.
“it’s just a dog… Just a… stupid dog. And now everything’s just getting worse and worse by the hour.”
“You shouldn’t blame her for the way she thinks about people. She lost her parents at a very young age, and the thought of losing someone else frightens her.”
“But I think I have every right to want her to live up to my expectations. She’s my girlfriend, and I know she can do it… It’s just…”
“Maybe you shouldn’t right now.”
“You want me to settle?”
I don’t say the words so much as I snarl them. The venom seeps from each one, and for a moment, I don’t feel bad over getting upset with Lilly.
Words are dreadfully laid to rest. Silence is very uncomfortable. The implications of me only feeling “obligated” to be with her.
“Only for now.”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“These things take time, Hisao. You shouldn’t expect her to suddenly become a shining beacon of perfection just because you’re with her. You both have a role to play in this. Each of you should be taking turns, elevating each other, helping him or her up, little by little.”
I guess she’s right. I shouldn’t be expecting prosperity to come so easily. But it’s not fair. I think we deserve to be happy.
“What about you? Niji was by all means meant for you, and it’s like nothing even happened to you.”
“I have to set a good example, Hisao. If I let this get me down too, everything might as well fall apart.”
“So you want to keep pretending that you’re better than us?”
She hesitates, looks worried.
“…I guess so.”
We remain silent.
“I… I’m sorry, Lilly. It’s just… everything’s been so hard lately.”
“I know. It has been for me too.”
“Would you like to let it out?”
“…Yes.”
I hug her, she remains still for a while before reciprocating. She sheds a tear on my shoulder.
“I’ll just… Be making some tea if you need me, Hisao…”
Her feet carry her body off to the kitchen, but with far less grace than I’m used to seeing her with.
As she leaves my view, there’s only one thing left for me to focus on.
My eyes flit over to the bedroom door.
Hanako.
I can already hear it.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” she says.
She doesn’t want to feel this way again when I pass away.
She doesn’t want me to worry about her anymore.
She’d do anything to keep her troubles from troubling me.
Anything to keep her depression from so much as grazing me.
Does she think she’s not worth it?
That she can’t provide enough good times to overshadow the bad?
It would be better if she stopped troubling me altogether.
So she leaves me.
Or even worse, she doesn’t have the courage to speak her mind.
And we go on like this forever.
The pressure builds and the cracks form, since nobody opens up.
She continually offers herself to me, just trying to make the best of something she refuses to cut off.
…But that’s not how we were on this trip, was it?
That night in the wheat field, that day in the bedroom, right before Niji…
I’d never have considered that she could be so dismal on this summer break, but now I’m having doubts.
Even so, at each of those times, I really felt that our relationship encompassed us.
Just a normal boy and girl doing the things lovers do.
I…
I can’t let that slip away.
Knock on the door.
Open up, her head is buried in the pillow.
“It wasn’t him”
“It wasn’t him”
She calms down, goes silent
“Why are you…“
“Because I have faith in you, Hanako.”
“I don’t suppose I have a whole lot to say, but if I had only a short time to talk, I’d say that I love you, and I will continue to love you, and that if you love me too, things will be alright.”
“…So, did I only have a short time to talk?”
“N-no...”
I step inside.
She speaks first, but not displaying any ease or comfort. It’s like she feels an obligation.
“So, I’m… sure you already know why I’m… like this. Because it was a…”
She looks to me, pleading for me to finish her sentence for her. But I choose not to offer her that recourse.
“… A heart attack that killed Niji. And that reminded me of you.”
HANAKO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH LINES HERE
[words]
Notice a bottle
That looks like…
The wine bottle from earlier
It brings back memories
Of us passing it back and forth, raising it and pouring it, our drunken giggles permeating the air
On that note modify dog days to have more laughter
But those memories are/feel distant now
My eyes keep darting to it as we speak (maybe sit in silence) to confirm what I think I’m seeing.
I’m certain that I see her catch me a couple times, but she always looks away when I move to meet her gaze
As we carry on, I feel more and more tempted to take the bottle away from her
But I can’t bring myself to. I think I know what it would mean if I did. And I’m not going to be the helicopter father who confiscates the dangerous toys from his daughter. That’s not how me and Hanako should be.
So then she asks for comfort
She wants me to stay
I say no.
“Look, Hanako. I’m trusting you. I am leaving you right now, and I am leaving you with the win there because I want you to look at it, and consider getting drunk, and ultimately decide not to because you are a strong girl. That same strength that carried you through the deaths of your parents, find it again.”
“But I can’t!”
She cries and it sounds awful.
I leave.
I’m not sure how well I communicated my thoughts, but that’s that.
I meet Lilly. Normally her expressions are hard to read, but this one is clear. ‘It sounds pretty bad.’
“Do you have any other blankets around? I think I’ll just take the floor tonight. You can have the couch.”
Lilly whispers to me. Even though it’s not necessary; things must be really weighing down on her.
“She’s not coming out.”
I can’t say for sure if that was a question or a realization. Either way, I nod, then realize what little good it did. Lilly shivers, then resumes.
“I’ll go get the… the stuff you need for your bed.”
“Thanks.”
Lilly leaves.
Come on, Hanako, I know you can do this.
Please don’t let me down.
I don’t want to feel this way any more
What if I’m not the right one for her?
What if she does decide she doesn’t want to see me anymore, and it is better that way?
Just one more chance.
we heard about niji, go home (research standard vet procedures involving dead animals in japan)
NEED A LEADIN HERE
It’s not like this is some kind of karmic justice.
I was just trying to enjoy this summer with Hanako.
Mmmkay we are in the living room
“why don't you want to talk about this?”
“i'm... i'm afraid of losing you too. I hate having to think about it”
“i know you cared about niji deeply, and i did too”
“he was often a pain, but he never meant any harm, he was wholly innocent, and i'd never wish something like this on him”
“i hate to be so objective, but maybe this could be... sort of a lesson for you and me”
“niji just died, and you're trying to make an example out of him?!”
My fist swiftly hits the wall in recourse.
“this is exactly what's wrong with you, hanako! i'm trying to make the best of a bad situation, but you would rather just sit around and wallow in pity.”
“It’s not like you haven’t done that too!”
“But I learned how to stop!”
She goes to her room, slams the door.
Maybe I shouldn’t be saying that I really learned how to stop.
I mean, yeah , I learned to get used to my new school and living with my new heart condition…
But that’s nothing.
Introspection sucks.
Whenever it is that I have to compare my circumstances to hers, it always gets me down.
I lost my friends and a potential girlfriend when I had my heart attack and spent four months in the hospital, yeah.
But she has pretty much never had friends until Lilly, Akira, and I.
And on top of that, I have never actually fought death, tooth and nail, on even one occasion, let alone several.
Losing one parent.
And the other.
And then living with the aftershock of all that.
And what’s probably the worst part, is that when I go out of my way to look at things like this, it makes me see her differently.
Lilly comes by.
“Hisao… I heard you and Hanako back there…”
“I bet you did.”
“Would you like to talk about this?”
She seems so unphased.
“why?”
For that matter, why am I even asking? I know why she wants to talk. She want to fix things. Scratch that- she wants to be the one who fixes everything.
I notice my bite has caught her off guard
“I care about Hanako. And you as well…”
She pauses, and I notice her biting into her lip. I’d find it scary if the rest of her face weren’t so sober.
“I do think you’re a beautiful person, Hisao. And she probably wants to think that as well.”
I let out a sigh.
So this is how it is. I’m getting mad at her, and she’s trying her hardest to show me that she cares about Hanako and I.
“it’s just a dog… Just a… stupid dog. And now everything’s just getting worse and worse by the hour.”
“You shouldn’t blame her for the way she thinks about people. She lost her parents at a very young age, and the thought of losing someone else frightens her.”
“But I think I have every right to want her to live up to my expectations. She’s my girlfriend, and I know she can do it… It’s just…”
“Maybe you shouldn’t right now.”
“You want me to settle?”
I don’t say the words so much as I snarl them. The venom seeps from each one, and for a moment, I don’t feel bad over getting upset with Lilly.
Words are dreadfully laid to rest. Silence is very uncomfortable. The implications of me only feeling “obligated” to be with her.
“Only for now.”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“These things take time, Hisao. You shouldn’t expect her to suddenly become a shining beacon of perfection just because you’re with her. You both have a role to play in this. Each of you should be taking turns, elevating each other, helping him or her up, little by little.”
I guess she’s right. I shouldn’t be expecting prosperity to come so easily. But it’s not fair. I think we deserve to be happy.
“What about you? Niji was by all means meant for you, and it’s like nothing even happened to you.”
“I have to set a good example, Hisao. If I let this get me down too, everything might as well fall apart.”
“So you want to keep pretending that you’re better than us?”
She hesitates, looks worried.
“…I guess so.”
We remain silent.
“I… I’m sorry, Lilly. It’s just… everything’s been so hard lately.”
“I know. It has been for me too.”
“Would you like to let it out?”
“…Yes.”
I hug her, she remains still for a while before reciprocating. She sheds a tear on my shoulder.
“I’ll just… Be making some tea if you need me, Hisao…”
Her feet carry her body off to the kitchen, but with far less grace than I’m used to seeing her with.
As she leaves my view, there’s only one thing left for me to focus on.
My eyes flit over to the bedroom door.
Hanako.
I can already hear it.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” she says.
She doesn’t want to feel this way again when I pass away.
She doesn’t want me to worry about her anymore.
She’d do anything to keep her troubles from troubling me.
Anything to keep her depression from so much as grazing me.
Does she think she’s not worth it?
That she can’t provide enough good times to overshadow the bad?
It would be better if she stopped troubling me altogether.
So she leaves me.
Or even worse, she doesn’t have the courage to speak her mind.
And we go on like this forever.
The pressure builds and the cracks form, since nobody opens up.
She continually offers herself to me, just trying to make the best of something she refuses to cut off.
…But that’s not how we were on this trip, was it?
That night in the wheat field, that day in the bedroom, right before Niji…
I’d never have considered that she could be so dismal on this summer break, but now I’m having doubts.
Even so, at each of those times, I really felt that our relationship encompassed us.
Just a normal boy and girl doing the things lovers do.
I…
I can’t let that slip away.
Knock on the door.
Open up, her head is buried in the pillow.
“It wasn’t him”
“It wasn’t him”
She calms down, goes silent
“Why are you…“
“Because I have faith in you, Hanako.”
“I don’t suppose I have a whole lot to say, but if I had only a short time to talk, I’d say that I love you, and I will continue to love you, and that if you love me too, things will be alright.”
“…So, did I only have a short time to talk?”
“N-no...”
I step inside.
She speaks first, but not displaying any ease or comfort. It’s like she feels an obligation.
“So, I’m… sure you already know why I’m… like this. Because it was a…”
She looks to me, pleading for me to finish her sentence for her. But I choose not to offer her that recourse.
“… A heart attack that killed Niji. And that reminded me of you.”
HANAKO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH LINES HERE
[words]
Notice a bottle
That looks like…
The wine bottle from earlier
It brings back memories
Of us passing it back and forth, raising it and pouring it, our drunken giggles permeating the air
On that note modify dog days to have more laughter
But those memories are/feel distant now
My eyes keep darting to it as we speak (maybe sit in silence) to confirm what I think I’m seeing.
I’m certain that I see her catch me a couple times, but she always looks away when I move to meet her gaze
As we carry on, I feel more and more tempted to take the bottle away from her
But I can’t bring myself to. I think I know what it would mean if I did. And I’m not going to be the helicopter father who confiscates the dangerous toys from his daughter. That’s not how me and Hanako should be.
So then she asks for comfort
She wants me to stay
I say no.
“Look, Hanako. I’m trusting you. I am leaving you right now, and I am leaving you with the win there because I want you to look at it, and consider getting drunk, and ultimately decide not to because you are a strong girl. That same strength that carried you through the deaths of your parents, find it again.”
“But I can’t!”
She cries and it sounds awful.
I leave.
I’m not sure how well I communicated my thoughts, but that’s that.
I meet Lilly. Normally her expressions are hard to read, but this one is clear. ‘It sounds pretty bad.’
“Do you have any other blankets around? I think I’ll just take the floor tonight. You can have the couch.”
Lilly whispers to me. Even though it’s not necessary; things must be really weighing down on her.
“She’s not coming out.”
I can’t say for sure if that was a question or a realization. Either way, I nod, then realize what little good it did. Lilly shivers, then resumes.
“I’ll go get the… the stuff you need for your bed.”
“Thanks.”
Lilly leaves.
Come on, Hanako, I know you can do this.
Please don’t let me down.
I don’t want to feel this way any more
What if I’m not the right one for her?
What if she does decide she doesn’t want to see me anymore, and it is better that way?
Just one more chance.
Re: Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notic
CHAPTER 5: DEMON DAYS
So it starts on the train home at night
Spend time thinking about the trip
The repeated striking of the wheels against the track
The stars and mountains appear to fly by out the window
Me and Hanako side by side
Not exactly holding hands, just close to eachother
Hanako stands up and Lilly notices
“Hmm?”
“I’m… going to step outside”
I chime in.
“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll head out too.”
“Mmm, alright then. Do as you wish.”
We walk out to the caboose. This definitely does seem like an older train
The air is kinda nice. It might be tepid if not for the wind, which is making it cool
Rest arms on the rails, she stands more upright, fidgeting only slightly
“So, how are you feeling?’
“B… better. And also I’d… like to thank you.”
“Really? What for?”
“F-for what you said to me last night. And also for… not responding to me.”
“Hanako, please don’t remind me. I’m not happy that I did that.”
“B-but I am… Doing that really… told me that you meant what you were saying. You actually believed that I’d be able to get over it.”
“I guess, but that doesn’t mean that I liked it.”
She is visibly nervous
“That’s… my fault. I’m sorry that I screamed and begged. I made it… much harder on you than I should have.”
I want to ease her worries, but I think I want her to know the truth more.
“It was. It reminded me of that other time, but worse.”
“O-other time?”
“Around your birthday. You were locked up in your room, and I had to decide that it would be better to leave you alone.”
“I… I didn’t know.”
We go silent. She seems apologetic, so I try to apologize as well.
“I know I was being too callous back at the house. Niji was an important part of both of our lives, even for the few days that he was around, and I should have considered how you’d feel about this. But as I was saying, I want to let you know that I will put an effort forth to keep things like that from happening to me. I just want your support in this, if you would forgive me, and support me so I can life longer and healthier.”
“You don’t have to do that, not just for me…”
“These aren’t empty promises, Hanako, and they’re not just for you. The longer I live, the longer I can live with you by my side. I enjoy your company, and I love you, and I want that love to last as long as possible. I’ll start exercising more, I’ll start watching my diet, I’ll start doing whatever it takes to stay with you.”
She stays still. Lost in thought from the look of it.
“So if you would try your best to not let this get you down, then I can try my best to do the same, and everything will be all right.”
Right?
“I… I know what you’re saying. It’s just hard to believe sometimes. I… appreciate the support; I just want to be able to support you.”
A calming wind blows over us. I notice her take a deep breath, nearly on her tiptoes from how high her chest is rising. She falls to her normal position.
The starts tapping her foot against the floor. Not loud enough to make a sound, just smoothly enough to make a rhythm.
She opens her mouth.
So it starts on the train home at night
Spend time thinking about the trip
The repeated striking of the wheels against the track
The stars and mountains appear to fly by out the window
Me and Hanako side by side
Not exactly holding hands, just close to eachother
Hanako stands up and Lilly notices
“Hmm?”
“I’m… going to step outside”
I chime in.
“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll head out too.”
“Mmm, alright then. Do as you wish.”
We walk out to the caboose. This definitely does seem like an older train
The air is kinda nice. It might be tepid if not for the wind, which is making it cool
Rest arms on the rails, she stands more upright, fidgeting only slightly
“So, how are you feeling?’
“B… better. And also I’d… like to thank you.”
“Really? What for?”
“F-for what you said to me last night. And also for… not responding to me.”
“Hanako, please don’t remind me. I’m not happy that I did that.”
“B-but I am… Doing that really… told me that you meant what you were saying. You actually believed that I’d be able to get over it.”
“I guess, but that doesn’t mean that I liked it.”
She is visibly nervous
“That’s… my fault. I’m sorry that I screamed and begged. I made it… much harder on you than I should have.”
I want to ease her worries, but I think I want her to know the truth more.
“It was. It reminded me of that other time, but worse.”
“O-other time?”
“Around your birthday. You were locked up in your room, and I had to decide that it would be better to leave you alone.”
“I… I didn’t know.”
We go silent. She seems apologetic, so I try to apologize as well.
“I know I was being too callous back at the house. Niji was an important part of both of our lives, even for the few days that he was around, and I should have considered how you’d feel about this. But as I was saying, I want to let you know that I will put an effort forth to keep things like that from happening to me. I just want your support in this, if you would forgive me, and support me so I can life longer and healthier.”
“You don’t have to do that, not just for me…”
“These aren’t empty promises, Hanako, and they’re not just for you. The longer I live, the longer I can live with you by my side. I enjoy your company, and I love you, and I want that love to last as long as possible. I’ll start exercising more, I’ll start watching my diet, I’ll start doing whatever it takes to stay with you.”
She stays still. Lost in thought from the look of it.
“So if you would try your best to not let this get you down, then I can try my best to do the same, and everything will be all right.”
Right?
“I… I know what you’re saying. It’s just hard to believe sometimes. I… appreciate the support; I just want to be able to support you.”
A calming wind blows over us. I notice her take a deep breath, nearly on her tiptoes from how high her chest is rising. She falls to her normal position.
The starts tapping her foot against the floor. Not loud enough to make a sound, just smoothly enough to make a rhythm.
She opens her mouth.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
- Posts: 613
- Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:38 am
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
Re: Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notic
Well... after that first, already-completed part, it certainly is rough. I've decided to take you up on your advice and not read it in this form, in the hope it may be completed properly at some point. That said, I wouldn't recommend writing something purely because someone else wants you to. You have to want it, or else it becomes a chore, and won't be as good nor have the same sentimentality. Perhaps you need a break from writing this sorta stuff. Write something non-Hanako, or if KS in general is grating on you, write something non-KS. If it's writing itself that's the problem... well, I can't really help too much there; you'd need to find your own inspiration. But I would be more than happy to read anything you may or may not put out in the meantime. And I'm sure others would too.
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!
BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!
BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!
Re: Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notic
Seconding this. Putting yourself in an uncomfortable spot is a great way to get the creative juices flowing again. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out, or you'll lose whatever motivation you have left. Always keep in mind that you are not a professional, you are a hobbyist. I've struggled with that a few times, trying to keep myself on deadlines and such. Then I realized that it just doesn't matter that much. I do this because I find it enjoyable, not because it's a source of income. I write better material when I'm actually inspired than when I try to force things. I'm sure it's the same for many of the people here.BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:...I wouldn't recommend writing something purely because someone else wants you to. You have to want it, or else it becomes a chore, and won't be as good nor have the same sentimentality. Perhaps you need a break from writing this sorta stuff. Write something non-Hanako, or if KS in general is grating on you, write something non-KS. If it's writing itself that's the problem... well, I can't really help too much there; you'd need to find your own inspiration. But I would be more than happy to read anything you may or may not put out in the meantime. And I'm sure others would too.
As for the writing itself, it's not terrible for a first draft. I can send you specific little quips if you want, but I'll just leave it at that for this thread. If you really want to write this story, then do it. No one's stopping you. You can't let yourself be influenced by "living in the shadow" of another piece. If we all did that, nothing would ever get done.
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Guest Poster
- Posts: 1264
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:42 am
Re: Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notic
I used to be active in the amateur game development scene and I found that the general rules of the place also fit a fanfiction community like this very well. Lots of people came up with lots of projects. Some of them were small, but good for half an hour of fun. Others were small and you could tell the author had no idea what he was doing...he just made a few rooms and threw it up there. Then there were the bigger projects. Some of them were so ambitious they never got out of the ideas phase or had some cool concept art only to run out of steam once the project's honeymoon period was over. (which generally lasted between a few weeks and a few months) In fact, most of the bigger projects ended up being abandoned since they always took 10 times as long as anticipated and after the honeymoon stage ended tedium unavoidably set in. The few larger projects that did see the light of day often took years.Anyway, I put all this work so far into this and I don't want it to be for nothing, so even if I post it in a "rough draft" quality then that's something, right? Minimal music, no formatting, whatever. This is how it's gonna stay unless someone convinces me otherwise. Of course, I have been having what I can only describe as some kind of depressive mood swings very recently and I don't know why, so maybe I'll "wise up" and remove all this on my own at one point to finish it off.
So how about this: If you really want to see this finished, don't read it in its current form and tell me instead. Maybe that would be encouragement, I don't know.
When a project is finished, the team always ends up thanking the fanbase for the inspiration and support, but what's generally left unsaid (because it makes for a lousy press release) is that that support only plays a very limited role in supplying the motivation it took to see the whole thing to completion. External feedback tends to provide one with about 1% of the motivation required to finish a project. The other 99% is personal determination on behalf of the creator. In addition, the impact of external feedback is wildly unfair. An encouraging post will give you probably about a minute to a few minutes of inspiration, which means very little if finishing the work is something that takes months. A negative reply, on the other hand, can leave you demotivated for days. (or extra motivated if you take it REALLY personally) That's just the way the human brain is wired. Ask any person who has finished a fairly large project and they'll tell you that at some point they stopped caring what the internet thought and just finished the darn thing out of personal stubborness.
Fanfic writing follows similar rules. Eventually, tedium sets in. No way to prevent it. The trick is to be muleheaded and keep going. Even if it's just a word a day. It's slow, but it's progress. Motivation has its ups and downs. Especially if what you're working on takes a long time to complete.
I'm not gonna read what you posted in the "rough" parts (which from what I could tell with a quick glance was just a giant list of spoilers) for the same reason I don't read leaked scripts to movies I intend on seeing. An important aspect of a work is its execution and reading a barebones script just feels stale. I think you're better off taking that stuff down. If you never complete the story...well, too bad. At least people won't unintentionally copy ideas that they subconciously end up using in their own work and you won't feel rotten about it if that'd happen. If you do end up completing it...good for you. At least people will read the story without knowing the entire plot in advance.
If all you rely on is external praise to provide you with motivation for your work...this thread'll never get the amount that's required to see it all the way through. The way you're going about it is like telling a girl you'll take her out for a drink and hang out with her, but only if she agrees to go home with you afterwards. Things just don't work that way.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
- Posts: 613
- Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:38 am
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
Re: Familiar (Hanako) (Rough draft, dead until further notic
As an amateur game developer myself (and someone studying Game Development as one half of a double University degree) I back this up one hundred percent. It takes an inordinate amount of motivation to get this sorta thing done, and external motivation often doesn't cut it. Hell, even for the final Multimedia Design assignment I had last year, which was 60% of the final mark, I did next to nothing until the day before it was due in, all because it was hard and my motivation was gone.Guest Poster wrote:Game stuff
That's also the reason that my various fictions, scripts, and even games have never been finished. From time to time I find some motivation and get a bit done, but for the most part they, and their respective ideas in my head, just gather dust. You just gotta find your own motivation somewhere, Brogurt. It may come from writing something else. It may come from doing something completely unrelated. But you'll find it eventually.
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!
BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!
BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!