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Lotus Child

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:54 am
by LordDarknus
The push of the wind whispers nostalgia with a wispy roar, as chirps of birds take flight to skies of my student days gone by.

Here I stand again, at the wrought iron gates. Having passed them only ever as a student, I now smile with false arrogance as a teacher.



"Lotus Child"



My first class was nothing to smile about though, their unruliness and lack of respect only deepens the shocking contrast between generations.

When I was a student here, we address our teachers honourably, rather than, say; "Yo Mr. Nakai!", or "I gotta pee Teacher Hisao!"


What has gone wrong with our society and its values? Honestly, has discipline failed to be instilled? Even here at the very end of the East?

Putting blame on influence from the West seems to be the ever popular thinking, as the stubborn old relentlessly judge the foolhardy young.


I'm tempted to start ranting off about my charges as they clamour their way out of the classroom, leaving me with sudden peace on Orientation Day.

The distinct feeling tingles and trickles through the hollow room's emptiness, ending with a splash of memories as I sit again at my old student desk.


I feel its surface intensely for the little marks and tiny cuts of wear and tear, and pleasantly stun myself when I find they're still here and there.

Not just on my desk, but on Misha and Shizune's as well (Misha's more noticeably), on every desk, the walls, the cabinet, the writing board, ...,


I wear a smile of grandeur for each and every beautiful imperfection in the classroom... All except for the imperfection that seemed to never change;

At the lonely desk seemingly farthest from me, where Hanako never seems to be.





The floor tiles echo with memory of the first walk I had with her, where she used to play a game all by herself when no one was around.

The paintings have changed, the hallways have gotten smaller, and the world felt colder. As I still keep holding on to the memory of her.


We drifted apart by the ebb and flow of the years, as leaves in streams often do. But, she was a flower, a Lotus, hidden from blooming in plain view.

Though even Lilly could not be beside her forever, I still think to myself that I could have done more, to be with her, to truly know her, to have let her know that I love her.


Or maybe I didn't tell myself that I loved her, and pushed those thoughts aside to help her.

To give her wings to fly, to help her blossom from her cocoon, to betray her trust and feelings for me.


There must have been the haunting shatter of love somewhere, in her shouted lies of hate here.

In her bleak dorm room that is forever unoccupied by choice. The only one that used to be a broom closet.


Maybe I didn't give her a choice, the chance, for love between us. Where I now realise how much I had patronised her,

I think I was lost in trying to protect her. Letting her be nothing more than a broken toy, a scared child, a scarred doll to me.




Wandering aimlessly to the sound of a memory, I thought I caught a glimpse of long violet hair in an empty tea room.

The same one where she and I were so comfortable in, the one where this timid student now politely bows and greets me, introducing herself as "Hikari".



Image

"Hikari Ikezawa"

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:09 pm
by griffon8
Nice little surprise there.

The current generation always thinks the next one is the downfall of civilization. We're always wrong. :roll:

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:47 pm
by Guestimate
Not bad not bad at all. Any chance We'll see more in this little continuation of yours?

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:27 am
by Dream
So this girl is Hanako's daughter?

This could either go in a very interesting or very horrible direction.

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:03 am
by Guestimate
Dream wrote:So this girl is Hanako's daughter?

This could either go in a very interesting or very horrible direction.
I'm hoping for interesting rather than disturbing. Hopefully we would just get his perspective as he watches her grow. Maybe he tells her a few memories if he becomes a close enough... I'm gonna say "uncle figure" as she hopefully still has an actual father. I'd rather not have it end up creepy.

*delayed realization* Waitamin... why is she in Yamaku though?

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:50 am
by Mirage_GSM
I'm still not convinced this is going in any direction at all. So far, Darknus has been writing primarily one-shots...

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:56 am
by KeiichiO
Guestimate wrote:
Dream wrote:So this girl is Hanako's daughter?

This could either go in a very interesting or very horrible direction.
I'm hoping for interesting rather than disturbing. Hopefully we would just get his perspective as he watches her grow. Maybe he tells her a few memories if he becomes a close enough... I'm gonna say "uncle figure" as she hopefully still has an actual father. I'd rather not have it end up creepy.

*delayed realization* Waitamin... why is she in Yamaku though?
Did he say he was a teacher at Yamaku? All he said is that he was a teacher, not the specific school he was teaching.

But if he IS in fact teaching at Yamaku, I'd like to know why Hanako's daughter is their as well.

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 4:01 pm
by Parliament
I really hope this is going to be more than a one-shot, there's just so much potential for awesome...

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:38 pm
by Ranger296
KeiichiO wrote: Did he say he was a teacher at Yamaku? All he said is that he was a teacher, not the specific school he was teaching.

But if he IS in fact teaching at Yamaku, I'd like to know why Hanako's daughter is their as well.
There were mentions of his old desk + Misha's/Shizune's desk, so I think it's safe to assume that this is @ Yamaku.

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:17 pm
by LordDarknus
Thanks for all your posts, I appreciate them a lot.

I'm sorry to be a disappointment, but this is just a one-shot. I don't feel I have enough time or energy to take the story further.

I'll make up for it with a joke of sorts;

Why does Hikari look just like Hanako?

Parthenogenesis.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 072254.htm


(If Hachisame gets to be half-octopus, I don't see why Hanako doesn't get to be half-Hammerhead Shark)

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t ... me#p133930

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3099




Or perhaps you would be content with Hikari having her own theme?

http://clannad.wikia.com/wiki/Shining_in_the_Sky

(I originally wanted her to have the less-feminine name; 'Hikaru', but then, I couldn't make the 'curry favour' pun to myself, as I posted this and went to bed.)


HIKARI FAVOUR!

(he curry favour, with Hanako)

(with actual curry)

(I really don't like curry myself)


If you still want some sense of a "continuation", you could count this story as an "After Story" to Hanako's Bad End.

and some of my other stories to be "After Stories" as well;

"Trusting my own judgement" to Hanako's Neutral End.
http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=7186

"Life of Hanako" to the Good End.
http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=7274


EDIT: Hikari is in Yamaku because Hanako felt bad / guilty / can't get over lashing out at Hisao, so she suggested to her daughter to try studying at Yamaku as an unconscious act to beg for forgiveness.

Oppan Clannad-style.

http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/view/2584

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 5:45 pm
by LordDarknus
I'm so tired...

The weight of darkness over my eyes tries to comfort me,

To make me sleep...

and let me rest.

but.. why don't I give in?



The memory before me flickers into a dream, I'm there again.

I'm marrying him again.

My husband.

The man whom I thought I loved,

but abandoned me when I was pregnant.



I don't... blame him.

We were deep in debt.

From legal and.. illegal groups of people.

It was so easy for him, to escape into alcohol.

To pretend that I was all he ever wanted.





I collapsed at work.

Asthma.

It never troubled me before, but I was weak. ...too weak.

I remember the painful feeling, the blissful joy,

When I gave birth, to a crying, being of light entrusted to me from heaven.



Giving you up for adoption was my greatest regret,

but I had no money, please don't hate me, my beautiful Hikari,

Lilly was training to be a teacher, and I couldn't find Hisao.

Anyone who adopted you would have been better than what I could have given.

Anyone.. anyone... would have been better, than a bedridden, scar of a skeleton.



But I did fight, to live, to recover.

I don't know for sure why I didn't let myself die,

I don't know why I kept the hope that I would see you again.

I don't know when I told myself that you didn't want me anymore.

That I thought.. you hated me.., for betraying you. ...for abandoning you.





Years.

It took me years.

But I regained my health, and the strength, ..to find you.

To see you exactly where I left you; lonely and cold. Lost and sad in a quiet corner of the world.

And the memory in me came back to me; I was in the exact same orphanage, in the exact same corner. Waiting for my mother.



I was you.

..no, I am you. You are my soul. My mirror. My very existence.

without you, I would have died for nothing. Without you, I am nothing.

I'll raise you, to the light. I'll protect you, with my life.

I Love You ..very much.



I hope you don't mind that we've come to live here in Yamaku.. this school for the disabled.

I was raised here.., this... 'home', where I knew and loved Lilly, and found my heart... my heart that always belonged to Hisao.

Him? oh.. he's the boy I met in the library. ..yes, the very same library that I'm taking care of now.

Hmm, it's a bit of a long story, and it doesn't have a happy ending... you really want to hear it?

Alright... why don't you wait for me in the old tea room? It's where he and I always spend our time together... always... together.

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:10 pm
by Guestimate
*headtilt* This is a bit confusing... not to mention ominous...

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:53 am
by Exbando
I like where this is going. I will definitely keep tabs on this.

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 2:12 pm
by Dream
Is Hanako high?

Re: Lotus Child

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:41 pm
by CptSalsa
Funny thing that you referenced Shining in the Sky, I actually brought myself to assemble my (out-of-tune) upright to finally finish learning it (and a few other songs) a day before you posted that. Also, what you said in your last chapter of your last post, if you could call it that, does that mean that Hanako lives with Hikari in Yamaku? And how did she pay for it? Also, how did you do that drawing of Hikari? :idea: 9000 hours in MS Paint? :wink: