Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

WORDS WORDS WORDS
Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:41 pm

Okay for New Years I resolved to start writing Fanfics again. And Katawa Shoujo seems like as good a place to start as any. However I haven't written in years, so I'm likely a bit rusty. Anyways, if anyone wants to help proofread for me, please let me know. If nothing else let me know if the formatting sucks. Any ways this thread is where I'll be putting stand alone shorts, just whatever quick things I came up with and wrote. Anything longer I suppose I should stick in it's own thread.

Before I get to my first entry, I'd like to say a few things about it. I really thought I had an nice easy to crank out idea. Instead this really dragged down, and took a lot longer than I intended. I'm not really satisfied with how it came out, and probably better run it through a revision, but I also think I'd better get it up now, or I might never. Feedback is appreciated.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:43 pm

Photo Session
Normally when a teenage girl asks her boyfriend to take nude pictures of her it's done for a thrill, or to try and sexually entice him. But Hanako isn't your average teenage girl. Average girls don't have the scars she does. And it's those scars she wants me to take pictures of.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Hanako?”

She swallows nervously before responding, “Yes, I'm sure. I want to... see them.”

I don't have to ask what “them” is. As Hanako undresses more and more of her skin is revealed. Both the scars, and the unblemished parts. This isn't the first time I've seen Hanako's naked body, but it's different than normal. This is more Clinical, more objective. Like it's some sort of medical examination.

“I'm going to start taking the pictures now.” Hanako nods her assent. I snap a few pictures of her, starting low, with her feet, and moving up to get her upper body, and then her head. The whole time Hanako stands as still as a statue, arms held stiffly to her side.

“You know, there's no need to be so nervous. There's nothing there I haven't seen. Or touched. Heck, I've kissed most of it. But if you want I can get naked too.” My joke seems to relax her a bit, her body becoming less tense.

“Only if I can take pictures of you too.” She manages to joke back. I think we're ready to move on to the next part. “Okay Hanako, I need you to turn around.” She does so, revealing the worst of her burns. Although I've seen them enough that I've become used to their presence, there is no denying that the scars on her shoulder's and buttocks are the most severe. And Hanako has never seen them. As I begin, my mind wanders back to how this all got started...


“Hisao, could you do me a favor?”

“Sure thing Hanako. What do you need”

“Could you take pictures of me?”

“Okay. That shouldn't be a problem.” Although I am a little puzzled as Hanako isn't very fond of being photographed. In fact other than me about the only person she might want to have pictures of her is Lily, and that's sort of pointless. I wasn't expecting what she said next.

“Um, there is something else Hisao. I, I, kinda wantthemtobeofmenaked.”

It's a good thing I had hadn't gotten to actually taking a bite of my muffin, or sip of my coffee, or else I'd either have sprayed it all over Hanako, or choked on it and died. Okay, no way I heard that right.

“I'm sorry, could you repeat that. It almost sounded like you asked me to take pictures of you nude.”

Hanako blushes and her hand creeps up to cover the scarred side of her face.

“I, I did.”

Okay, that was unexpected. My mind reels from the strangeness of these happenings. And my silence is only serving to make Hanako more nervous about my reaction.

“If,if you don't want to, it's okay”

“No, that's not it. I'm just surprised. I mean why are you asking this.”

“I want to know what my body looks like. I mean, well... I really haven't seen what it looks like. My back.”

I guess that I can sort of see where Hanako is coming from. Lately I've been seeing a lot of her body. But there is no way for her to have seen her back on her own. Where the worst of her scarring is. I'm sure she knows how bad it is. It's her body after all. On the other hand you really can't see your own back, and the only other person who Hanako could possibly have trusted enough to show to would have been Lily. Still I'm not sure that there isn't something I'm missing.

“Okay, Just let me finish eating.”

Hanako swallows and nervously nods.

And that's how we ended up in this situation. Now Hanako has gotten redressed, and I'm connecting the camera to the computer. After disconnecting the computer from the internet. There is no way anyone other than Hanako and me is ever going to see these pictures. Hanako pulls her chair up close to mine, and I take that as my cue to begin. I start with the pictures of her front. At least Hanako has probably seen this in a mirror before. I hope. The first photos are of her face. I suppose it's no different than when she looks at herself in a mirror. Next we move down. The scars creep along the underside of her breast, and along her stomach.

“It's really not that bad” I try to reassure her, but immediately curse my stupidity. What kind of an idiotic thing is that to say. I stay quit as we go down her legs, and the scarring ends. Now we start on another angle.

“Which side do you want to see first?”

Hanako is silent as she tries to decide. Eventually though she makes her choice. “Um, can we start with my left side?”

Her left side. Her good side, I guess. If you saw her just from this side you might never realize she even has scars. Hanako's cuteness is at it's clearest. I know Hanako can never forget about her scars, and I can't either. In profile, her body looks, well normal.

“N-now, can w-we see my r-right s-side?” Hanako's voice is full of trepidation and nervousness. This is going to be the worst part. Her feet ans calves are fine, but as you go up, her right side quickly becomes a mass of scar tissue. An inescapable ugly reminder. From this side you truly see the marks the fire left on here. It's a miracle she survived. I don't want to linger on this.

“All right, lets move on to your back.” And here it is. When Hanako first revealed her body to me, this is what she showed me. The scars that reach across her shoulders and her back, as though they are trying to seize all her body.

“H-How can you...” Hanako's voice is strangely devoid of emotion as she speaks. “How can you be attracted to me... When my body is like this?” I guess that question is something that's been bothering her for a while.

“You once showed me your body. You were even posed just like this.” I say as I go to a picture of Hanako looking over her shoulder. “You said it was all of you. But it's not. I wish I had the pictures to show you.” Hanako's expression becomes puzzled at my explanation.

“W-what do you m-mean Hisao?”

“I've seen it Hanako. I've seen you when your lost in a book, or when your trying to figure out you next move at chess. When you enjoy tea. Your smiles, I've heard you giggle and laugh. I've seen you when you're angry.” And I hope I never have to be on the receiving end of that again. Confusion appears on Hanako's face.

“So you're saying my scars don't matter?”

I think for a second. “No I can't say that. Your scars are a part of you. They shaped your life. But they aren't all of you. Like mine... Its not all of me.” I see Hanako start to smile as my words sink in.

“No Hisao... You're right. That's not all there is to us.”

“Besides Hanako you are beautiful. Your eyes, your smile, your hair...” I reach out and cup her left cheek with my hand “You are the most beautiful woman I know.”

Hanako reaches her hand out and touches my chest.

“Thank you, Hisao.”
Last edited by Negativedarke on Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

User avatar
griffon8
Posts: 1116
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Southeast Michigan, USA

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by griffon8 » Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:22 pm

That was nice, but please remember the difference between 'your' (the possessive) and 'you're' (contraction of 'you are'). And there's at least one use of 'it's' (contraction of 'it is') where it should be 'its' (the possessive). As bad as 'alright' is, 'allright' is even worse. I can't stamp out the use of 'alright', but I encourage you to use 'all right' over either of those mentioned in my previous sentence. And an extra line between paragraphs would do wonders for readability.

Okay, enough criticism of a copyediting nature. :)

One of the biggest difficulties writers have is dealing with Hanako's stuttering. Most go way overboard, but you managed to keep it from overwhelming us. It's there, but it's not her dominant feature, which is good. Hanako's desire to see what she would look like to Hisao is understandable.

So good job, and welcome back to writing. Get more practice.

BTW, unfortunately, I am not available at this time to be a proofreader for you.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

Griffon8's Writing

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:57 pm

Thanks a lot for the advice. I should have realized I needed to check for the your/you're, as I always do that. I also see I spelled being as bieng, again. I before E except after C my ass. As for the paragraphs... Ungh, I'll see what I can do. I used to know how to break them, honest! I may have to go look that up. Anyways when I get a revision done I'll replace what I've currently got up.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

User avatar
griffon8
Posts: 1116
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Southeast Michigan, USA

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by griffon8 » Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:43 pm

Breaking paragraphs is relatively easy. You already have different characters speaking on different lines, that is, after a return. Just put an additional return in. This is the standard format for left justified text without indents. As an example, instead of:
Normally when a teenage girl asks her boyfriend to take nude pictures of her it's done for a thrill, or to try and sexually entice him. But Hanako isn't your average teenage girl. Average girls don't have the scars she does. And it's those scars she wants me to take pictures of.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Hanako?”
She swallows nervously before responding, “Yes, I'm sure. I want to... see them.” I don't have to ask what “them” is. As Hanako undresses more and more of her skin is revealed. Both the scars, and the unblemished parts. This isn't the first time I've seen Hanako's naked body, but it's different than normal. This is more Clinical, more objective. Like it's some sort of medical examination.
“I'm going to start taking the pictures now.” Hanako nods her assent. I snap a few pictures of her, starting low, with her feet, and moving up to get her upper body, and then her head. The whole time Hanako stands as still as a statue, arms held stiffly to her side.
you would make it:
Normally when a teenage girl asks her boyfriend to take nude pictures of her it's done for a thrill, or to try and sexually entice him. But Hanako isn't your average teenage girl. Average girls don't have the scars she does. And it's those scars she wants me to take pictures of.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Hanako?”

She swallows nervously before responding, “Yes, I'm sure. I want to... see them.”

I don't have to ask what “them” is. As Hanako undresses more and more of her skin is revealed. Both the scars, and the unblemished parts. This isn't the first time I've seen Hanako's naked body, but it's different than normal. This is more Clinical, more objective. Like it's some sort of medical examination.

“I'm going to start taking the pictures now.” Hanako nods her assent. I snap a few pictures of her, starting low, with her feet, and moving up to get her upper body, and then her head. The whole time Hanako stands as still as a statue, arms held stiffly to her side.
Thus each thought has its own section, and what is said by each character gets its own paragraph.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

Griffon8's Writing

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:31 pm

Okay I got the revised version of Photos up. Thanks to Griffon 8 for his advice on formatting and actually using the right words... And to Mirage_GSM for offering to proofread. I hope to get an Emi story up next.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:15 pm

Okay, I have one fic in the proofing stage, and I am working on another. But I just had an idea, and I felt like writing in up in this minific. Enjoy

Bad Days.

We all have bad days. Some days are just worse than others. And for some of us those bad days are worse than for other people. There the days you just hide in your room, curled up. You want the world to disappear. You wish you would just disappear. Sometimes you wonder if maybe you should make yourself disappear. Then they come to your door. They want to know what's wrong. How they can help. And you become angry. You want to shout at them to leave them alone. You want to scream at them, telling them all the ways that they've hurt you. All the ways their pity hurts you. All the ways you hate them for not really understanding you. Later, you're glad you didn't. Because you know that if you had, they wouldn't ever be able to face you again, and you couldn't ever face them again. And that would be the worst day ever. So instead you lie. You claim to be sick, so they'll go away. Sometimes it even works. Then the bad day ends. You can get out of bed, out of your room. You can stand the pain a little longer. You can see that person. The look on their face, the relief you're okay, even if they try to hide it keep their composure. She raises her hands to greet me.

[I hope you are feeling better this morning Misha.]

[Of course Shii-Chan! It was just a tummy-ache!] “Wha ha ha!”

You know they can never know just how bad your bad days are. Or why.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:33 pm

Okay, the proofing for my second KS fic is done. Thanks for Mirage_GSM for doing the proofreading. This ones a Hisao/Emi fic.



Catching Her

“Geez Hisao, what’s wrong with you this morning? Did I tire you out last night?”

Emi taunts me as she completes her laps, leaving me several more to do before I finish my morning run. That is not that unusual, but this morning I am a bit more tired than usual.

“It wasn't you. I had insomnia. Probably from my meds.” Well it's half true. The other reason is that Emi and I were celebrating the break. I really hope Meiko didn't hear us.

“He he, sure it was. Anyway, I think that's enough for this morning. Let's head back.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have to admit it's shaping up to be a great day. I had a good run with Emi, and we are planning on a picnic. Pretty soon we are back at her house, and Emi is taking off her running blades to let me examine her legs. Since I've been spending so much time with her, Nurse felt that I should know how to check her legs after a run.

“Okay, take a look, I know how much you love to,” says Emi with a smirk on her face. I go through the checklist of things to watch out for in my mind as I examine her. No abrasions, or cuts, no signs that she's rubbed any of the spots raw.

“Looks good. Seems like you won't be spending any more time in a wheelchair.”

That remark gets a pout from Emi. “You're mean Hisao.”

“Just concerned. Anyway, we need to get cleaned up before we head out again. You can go first.”

Emi's pout turns into a grin. “How about we go take our shower together?”

“I don't think that's a good idea. Last time we tried, it nearly killed me.” I hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. “And besides I think your mother is back.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After I am done with my shower I head out to the kitchen to see Emi and her mom. Emi is looking into the picnic basket.

“Geez, mom, you really overdid it this time! How are we supposed to eat all this?”

“Really, it doesn't seem like it's that much for the three of you.”

Three of us? Oh wait... “Emi did you forget to tell your mom that Rin won't be joining us?”

Emi's sheepish expression makes it clear that's exactly what happened.

“Oh, Rin isn't joining you two today?”

“No, she said she was going to visit her parents.” Although I have to wonder just what kind of people Rin's parents are.

“So it's just you and Emi then? I hope you two will behave yourselves, although I don't think it's you I have worry about, is it Hisao?”

“Geez mom, cut that out. Let’s go Hisao.” Emi grabs my arm and drags me through the door. For such a small person she's surprisingly strong.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The view really is something. We are sitting at the top of a bank overlooking the town. It's pretty cliche, but I can see Emi's house from up here.

“I know it's pretty corny, but I can see my house from up here.”

Glad to know I'm not the only one.

“You know Hisao, I've been thinking.”

“About what?”

“The future.”

“Really?” This is a surprise. Emi really has a tendency to avoid thinking in the long term. She still hasn't decided what she wants to do after high school, and we are getting really close to graduation.

“Hey, Hisao, I'm going to talk for a bit. Could you just listen and let me?”

This gives me a sense of deja vu reminding me of when we were at her father's grave.

“I never really gave any thought to what I'd do in the future. It was just easier that way. Don't think about it. Just live in the moment. Run so you don't feel the pain. If you think about it too much, you'll just realize you could lose it all in a second.”

I keep quiet, but I understand what Emi's talking about here. This really is just like her confession at her father's grave.

“But now we are almost done with high school, and I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life. My grades aren't that good in a lot of subjects, and I really don't care about things like math and science. No offense, Hisao.”

“None taken.”

“Everyone thinks I should be a gym teacher or a physical therapist. But I don't know if I'm good enough with people or if I have the patience where people are concerned.”

I'm not really sure that's the case. She helped me after all.

“I don't even know if I want to go on to college, or go and find a job right out of Yamaku. I mean, I don't know what I'd study if I went to college, but I really don't know what job I'd do or if I'd be any good at any that I could get.”

“So you don't think pirate will work out?”

“Asshole. But here's what I really wanted to say... I know one thing I really want in my future. I want you. I want to be with you as long as possible. So please... Please be with me for as long as you can.”

I understand. No matter how much I exercise, no matter how careful I am with my diet, my condition is always going to be there. And Emi knows it.

“I can't promise that I'll always be there with you. But I promise I'll be with you as long as I can.”

Emi thinks about it for a few seconds.

“Nope. Not good enough.”

“What?”

“Not good enough. You have to be with me as long as we both can make happen. I ain't letting you go without a fight. Not after all the work I put into you.” As she says this Emi's frown turns into a huge grin.

I once thought that I could never catch her. But I was wrong. There was a way to catch her. Emi had to be willing to let me catch her. And I will always be thankful that she did.

“So, deal, Hisao?”

“It's a deal, Emi.”

The End.



Comment! This I command!
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"


Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:07 am

Okay time for my next fic. Another Hisao/Hanako. I actually would like to do at least one for all the girls, though I guess I'd better play Rin's route before tackling her. I got the Idea for this one from a conversation in Sisterhood's thread about the affects of alcohol on Hanako. Thanks to Mirage_GSM for proofreading.
Fic in...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...


Yet One More Year

I think I'm going to kill Akira. She just had to get something alcoholic for Hanako's birthday. Lilly got her a nice pair of antique marble bookends. I got her books to go between them. But Akira just had to send bottles of booze and an apology that she couldn't make it in person. Then again it might not be all her fault. Hanako doesn't normally drink this much. Usually, she stops at tipsy, but now she's beyond sloshed and at fully smashed.

“Thanks so much for bein here Lilly.” Hanako's words are slurred from the alcohol as she speaks. “It means sho much to Hisshao and me. *Hic*”

“No, thank you for having me over Hanako. You and Hisao have a lovely apartment.” Lilly of course is holding her liquor just fine. You can really tell she's Akira's sister. Hanako nods and pours herself another drink. I think I had better intervene.

“Hanako, don't you think you've had enough to drink?” She frowns in response, then gives a smile that can only be described as goofy.

“Oh c'mon Hishao, is's a party, live a littsle.”

I wish I had an audio recorder right now, Hanako. You would be so mortified if you heard how badly you’re mispronouncing your words.

“I am just glad to see Hanako is enjoying Akira's gift.” I hope Lilly isn’t going to make a habit of encouraging Hanako to get drunk. Or maybe she's more like her sister than I ever realized.

“Yesh, I loove them all.” A mischievous grin spreads over Hanako's face, and I really begin to worry. “I espeshally am gonna love the one Hishao's going give me latter.”

Oh no, she can't be talking about what I think she's talking about. I mean, no amount of alcohol could get Hanako that drunk right?

“Really? I thought Hisao had already given you all your gifts. What is it he still has to give you?” asks Lilly.

Oh no, please tell me Lilly didn't just ask that question, and definitely tell me Hanako isn't going to answer it.

“S-E-X. Shex. *giggle*”

She did. I think this has gone on long enough.

“Well it's getting late. I think we should wrap this up.” Sadly Hanako doesn't catch the hint.

“It'sh not that late Hishao. I wanna party more.”

“Indeed, it seems a shame to stop now.” Seems Lilly isn't going to be much help. I hope she doesn't regret this.

“So Hanako, you and Hisao are going to celebrate more after I leave?”

“Yesh. Hishao's real good at shesx. At firsht it washn't so good, but now it's great”

Okay, enough is enough. “Hanako! I think that's too much information!” I really don't think Lilly would want to know about our sex lives.

“I am just happy to hear that you and Hisao are happy together. Indeed it sound’s like you are doing quite well.”

Okay, clearly I was wrong. Maybe Lilly’s had more to drink than I realized?

“Yeah Hisahao, girlsh talk abouts this kind of shtuff.” Hanako frowns a little bit. “But Lilly, you don't talk about your'sh.”

“Well, I'm afraid I don't really have one to talk about at the moment.” Lilly blushes at this, so maybe I can get the course of this conversation changed?

“Hanako I think that it’s a little rude to bother Lilly about that.”

“No Hisao it’s quite alright, Hanako isn’t bothering me.”

Seriously, this is not bothering you at all Lilly? I think you may be taking it a little too easy on Hanako, here. And Hanako doesn’t even seem to have noticed our conversation, as she carries on like nothing happened.

“That'sh too bad Lilly. I can believe you don't have a boyfriend, shinsh your sho nicsh and pretty.”

I have to face it. All my girlfriend’s tact disappears when she's drunk. But since I don't seem to be able to stop, or even slow these two down, I guess I might as well just sit back and enjoy the show.

“Shay, Lilly I gotsh and ideaaa...”

I know that tone of voice for Hanako. I just can’t place where.

“Howsh about you give Hishao and me a shpesiahl Birthday gift!”

“Hanako!” Now I know that tone of voice. It’s a combination of her mischievous drunken voice and her trying to get me to do something voice. I don’t hear them much. Unfortunately my outburst doesn’t seem to have done anything to dissuade her. And was she always leaning that close to Lilly?

“Hanako, I think Hisao may be right. Perhaps you have a little too much to drink.”

At least Lilly has realized that things are getting out of hand. Thank you Lilly. Now if Hanako will just stop...

“*Hic* Aww, but Lilly don’t you know that’sh the short of thing every boy dreamsh about? *Hic*”

Damn it Hanako are your trying to give me a heart attack? I get ready to bring myself to yell at her, and I can see Lilly has something to say as well, but we never get the chance. Suddenly Hanako’s entire demeanor changes.

“Urp! I... I... IthinkI’mgoingtobesick.”

Oh, no! I grab Hanako and rush her to the bathroom. Somehow I manage to get her over the toilet before she begins retching. I make sure to keep her hair out of the way while she has her problem. I guess she really overdid it with the drinking. After her heaving stops she lifts herself from her position at the porcelain throne, looking absoletly miserable. I am never letting her drink that much again.

“Are you done?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Okay. I think your going to want to brush your teeth and wash up. I’m going to see how Lilly is doing, okay?” This time she doesn’t give any verbal assent, but nods and staggers over to the sink. I head back out to the living room to find Lilly hanging her phone up.

“I’ve called for a taxi. I think that I should be leaving now.” With the condition Hanako is in I’d say that the party is over.

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best. Honestly I’m surprised. I didn’t think Hanako would overindulge herself like that. Now that I think about it, I seem to recall her being a bit nervous about something when she started really drinking.” Lilly frowns at this insight.

“You don’t think she was bothered that we were having this party do you?”

A year ago that might have been true. But this year... “I don’t think so. I’m positive that Hanako has actually been looking forward to this.”

“Hmm. Well you are the better judge of Hanako’s emotions. And I believe that my taxi is here. Just let me know what happens with her.”

I see Lilly out the door, and to her taxi, before going back in to see how Hanako is doing. She’s finished brushing her teeth and has moved on to gargling her mouthwash. As soon as she’s done I take her hand.

“How are you doing?”

“M’ tired.” She sounds it. Her voice is quiet and subdued, and her words mumbled.

“Okay, lets go to bed then”

“Mkay. Whres Lilly?”


“She had to go. Let’s get you in bed.” Hanako doesn’t ask any more questions, or raise any objections as I lead her to the bed and tuck her in. But now I have to figure out where I’m going to sleep. I want to keep and eye on her in case she gets sick again. But at the same time I’m unsure if it’s a good idea to share a bed with her when she’s this drunk. After a few minutes I decide to get in bed with her. Hanako is already sleeping soundly, and I doubt she’s going to want to do much else before she sobers up.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I wake up in the morning with what is fortunately only a mild hangover. Meaning I’m only slightly miserable. Still compared to what I’m sure Hanako is going to experience, I’m getting off easy. Not for the first time I wonder why people get drunk. I take a look over at Hanako. She seems to be okay, just deeply asleep. She’s too cute, and I have to resist kissing her or anything else that might disturb her...

I take my meds, get through the shower and make my breakfast. I suspect it will be quite a bit before Hanako gets up. I pick up a science journal and start reading. I’m midway through an article on gravity lensing when I hear Hanako getting up. From the sound of things she’s dealing with her hangover, and I’m sure her’s is much worse than mine. Now I hear the sound of running water as she gets to taking her shower. After she’s done, she comes out and sits down at the table. I wonder how to bring up her behavior from last night. Or maybe I should just ignore it? Then Hanako starts to speak on the other side of the table.

“I... I didn’t do anything weird last night, did I?”

Like tell Lilly way too much about our love life and then tried to start up most guys fantasy? I don’t think I’d better let her know exactly how she was acting. Normally I’d tell her the whole truth, but I’m not sure she’d be able to talk to Lilly again afterward. Besides, intoxication can really affect your behavior, and both Lilly and I understand that..

“Well, you got really talkative and then a bit clingy with Lilly. Then you got sick.”

Considering how embarrassed Hanako looks from just that bit, I think my giving her the abridged version was a good idea. Now for the thing I’d like to know.

“Hanako, it seems like something was bothering you last night. I mean we don’t drink that often, but when we do, you normally stop before you get that drunk.” If she doesn’t respond or asks me to I’ll drop it, but I think that there is something she wants to tell me.

“I... I was n-nervous. I wanted t-to ask something from you and L-Lilly. A-and I thought maybe I n-needed a d-drink to calm down. B-but I just k-kept drinking until I f-forgot.” She swallows heavily. Whatever this is she’s got to be nervous about it. No way it’s what she was heading towards when she was drunk. I mean that’s just nuts.

“You know you can ask us anything Hanako.” I do my best to keep my voice calm, and I reach across the table to take her hand in mine. I just hope Hanako is able to bring it out.

“W-what I wanted t-to ask is. C-could you and Lilly be there on my b-birthday. N-not like a party or anything. Just like n-normal. Playing c-chess and drinking t-tea.” Well, that’s both kinda disappointing, and a huge surprise. It’s disappointing because it seems like such a simple request, such a normal thing to ask. And yet it’s a huge surprise.

“You know I’ll take any excuse to spend time with you. And I’m sure Lilly will welcome the opportunity to come over.” Hanako’s expression changes from one of nervousness to a smile of relief. If there wasn’t a table in the way, I’d hug her. It wasn’t that long ago that Hanako would shut herself in her room all day for her birthday. I guess that as time passes, little by little the pain heals. Yet one more year, and we get a little better.

End.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

User avatar
Hisao&Hanako<3
Posts: 554
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:33 pm
Location: United States

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Hisao&Hanako<3 » Sun Nov 10, 2013 7:08 am

No one ever commented on this and said it was nice? Wow. I think it's pretty cool.

Negativedarke
Posts: 225
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:25 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Negativedarke » Sun Nov 10, 2013 2:52 pm

Yeah, the lack of comments is part (but not all) the reason I stopped doing these. If people want, I'll start up again.
"Misha, I don't think Chocoholism is a real disability."
"But the School's Entrance Board does Hi-Chan. Wahaha~"

User avatar
AntonSlavik020
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:03 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Sun Nov 10, 2013 3:49 pm

I'd enjoy more of these. I mainly didn't comment because I didn't have an account yet when I read them.
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune

User avatar
Minion of Chaos
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:04 pm

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Minion of Chaos » Sun Nov 10, 2013 9:48 pm

AntonSlavik020 wrote:I'd enjoy more of these. I mainly didn't comment because I didn't have an account yet when I read them.
Same. I enjoy little one shots/shorts even thought I don't normally comment- I don't normally have any kind of input to give.

User avatar
Kyler Thatch
Posts: 139
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:13 am

Re: Negativedarke's Fanfic Shorts

Post by Kyler Thatch » Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:00 pm

Just discovered this recently. The occasional spelling error aside, I enjoyed reading through all of these. Bad Days hit pretty close to home for me.

About Photo Session, though, is it really that hard to look at your back? I do that in the bathroom mirror all the time. Then again, it can be a pain to crane your neck just to do it.

Post Reply