For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 7/5/18)

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AlexFDSR
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Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 6/9/18)

Post by AlexFDSR » Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:25 pm

ProfAllister wrote:
Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:54 pm
Keiko destroying Hisao
Act 3 Scene 8 Part 4 (18+) (Disable Adult Content) | Act 3 Scene 10
You've managed to perfectly capture what I want to say to Hisao in every version of KS and fanficition where he blames Iwanako during his musings. Bravo.
According to the forums, I post an hour into the future...
If Iwanako had a route/was the protagonist of KS, would the tagline be "Can you find it in your heart?"

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Craftyatom
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Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 7/5/18)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:27 am

A good chapter, overall. Emi and Natsume were very well-written, and I really enjoyed both of their parts. Keiko, however, just felt off to me, partly when discussing her "deal" with the student council (which itself made very little sense to me), but mostly when talking about the letter. It was as if she was trying to figure out exactly how far she could push Hisao without him doing anything about it, but the answer happened to be "forever and a day" because he was in a bit of a funk. He absentmindedly let her read over it, but then she kept poking for details, and when he opened up and talked about everything, she provided basically a single nugget of advice in the most condescending way possible. To be fair, that may well be part of her characterization, but even if it is "tough love", I still would've preferred that this conversation happen with a more understanding character - Natsume comes to mind. Just my personal thoughts on that segment.

Jigoro was humorously over-the-top, as one would expect. I almost feel sad that this seems like all we'll see of him... almost. Anyways, after that entire ordeal, I found it strange that Hisao gave up on the reason he was originally calling. I understand that his train of thought was interrupted, and that he's got a lot to think about, but even so, it was quite the reversal. Even if he decided not to go through Misha, I still think he should've texted Shizune; his thoughts about why it probably wasn't a simple mistake should push him to do that much.

Anyways, despite my qualms with the second half of this segment, I still liked it as a whole. I saw no memorable issues with syntax, and your writing was excellent, as usual.

Kain
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Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 7/5/18)

Post by Kain » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:18 pm

I just found this fic today and I read it all in one go. This is extremely awesome in every way. I've always felt that Misha deserved her own route, and you are doing it masterfully, good lady! I hope that your life is going well, and I have bookmarked this story, here's hoping for an update soon!

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Mader Levap
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Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 7/5/18)

Post by Mader Levap » Sun Jul 22, 2018 12:17 pm

I have suspicion he should contact Shizune directly, without Misha as middleman.
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