Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

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ClassicArcueid
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by ClassicArcueid » Fri Jan 23, 2015 6:47 pm

I was linked here from an Akira picture on the Shimmie. I've always been a lurker but I made an account to say this is one of the most fun stories I've found here. I'm on chapter 3.6 and I love how casual the story has been so far, the dialogue is very realistic and the humor is great.
[You started it. But honestly, I do need to buy a new swimsuit. What do you suggest?]

Wait, what? Why is she asking me?

I'm a male who hasn't been to the beach in years. On top of that, she has a boyfriend who I'm sure would have a much more valid input on the matter. I know they're taking a break, or something along those lines, but does that mean they don't talk at all, even about things like this?

No point reasoning with it. She said she wanted the smart ass in me to come out more, so how about this?

[A checkered wetsuit.] I tap into the phone, unable to keep from snickering like an immature kid playing a prank on his friend.

[Checkered, maybe. Wetsuit, no. I don't plan to go diving, dummy.] she responds.
This is my favorite moment so far. I can recall having conversations exactly like this with my then-girlfriend, part of the enjoyment is that you made Hisao so relatable. I hope the rest of the story is just as nice.

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Serbian Gamer
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Serbian Gamer » Sat Jan 24, 2015 11:34 pm

Excellent job bud!

After a period of 17 months I truly hope this was all worth it for you! Maybe even a little more?

If you ever make a decision to create or contuniue any fics, i'll make sure to keep tuned :)

Best regards
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Nurse.
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ProjectShadow
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by ProjectShadow » Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:38 pm

Found a little inconsistency way back when Hisao had his first hangover and had to go to class that day. Wasn't it supposed to be a three day weekend starting Saturday?

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HipsterJoe
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by HipsterJoe » Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:57 am

I almost didn't end up reading this because I had so much difficulty getting through Act 2. I didn't mind the random encounters, but the scene where Akira complained to Hisao about her relationship trouble completely pulled me out of the story. I cannot see a confident grown woman confiding to a high school aged stranger about her boyfriend complaints. I'm glad I decided to soldier through though because the rest of the story was really enjoyable.

You also managed to elicit a physical reaction out of me during Akira's and Tetsuo's break-up. I was literally cringing every time Hisao spoke in only the way an overconfident eighteen year old could. I actually yelled out "Goddamnit Hisao" when he spilled the beans to Tetsuo earlier in that scene.

Thanks for sharing your work!

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Code 44
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Code 44 » Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:54 pm

It was realy great. I still prefer Lilly than her older sister, but it was a well-writen fanfic.

Do you mind if I translate it (in french) and post it on the internet ? You'll be credited as the original writer, of course.

Keeindor
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Keeindor » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:57 am

Hey, I really enjoyed this route that you've written.

So much so that I'm going to be reading it and posting it to Youtube and providing a MP3.

Right now it's the summer so I have much free time so I decided to start creating audio books of Fan Fiction.

You will be credited as the editor and I will link to the main game :D

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Peorth
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Peorth » Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:20 am

Keeindor wrote:Hey, I really enjoyed this route that you've written.

So much so that I'm going to be reading it and posting it to Youtube and providing a MP3.

Right now it's the summer so I have much free time so I decided to start creating audio books of Fan Fiction.

You will be credited as the editor and I will link to the main game :D
It would probably be better form to ask the person whose story you're going to be converting into an audiobook for permission before you do it. Just sayin'.
Even if the author is silenced, the performance is stopped, the story will not end.

Whether it's a comedy or a tragedy, if there is cheering, the story will continue on.
Just like the many lives.
For the us who are still in it and still in the journey, send warm blessings.

---We will continue to walk down this path until eternity.

Keeindor
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Keeindor » Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:20 pm

When I wrote that I was very tired... It was very late where I live.

I meant it to be written more like a question so I'll re-write it here.

Is it fine if I turn your Fan Fiction into an audiobook? I enjoy audiobooks more than regular books because I find myself not being able to pay attention to the story and going off an doing other things on the internet. I think an audiobook would be good for people like me who find themselves doing things like that.

You will be given full credit in the recording and in the video if I upload it to YouTube.

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Mader Levap
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Mader Levap » Fri Jul 10, 2015 8:34 pm

Keeindor wrote:When I wrote that I was very tired... It was very late where I live.

I meant it to be written more like a question so I'll re-write it here.

Is it fine if I turn your Fan Fiction into an audiobook? I enjoy audiobooks more than regular books because I find myself not being able to pay attention to the story and going off an doing other things on the internet. I think an audiobook would be good for people like me who find themselves doing things like that.

You will be given full credit in the recording and in the video if I upload it to YouTube.
Direct PM probably will be faster.
Last edited by Mader Levap on Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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FISCHERWMT
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by FISCHERWMT » Sun Nov 22, 2015 4:27 pm

Came here because of the book club.
Really liked it. My first real girlfrind was last semester of college. I was20and she was 25 with 2 masters degrees. I also folowwed her into her passsions. [Even 6 months of ballet lessons.]
I did not comeout like your Hisao. Stayed more KSHisoa.
Thank you for completing. So many I enjoy seem to have just stoppedfor better than a year. I admire you seeing it through to the end.

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Texaboose
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Texaboose » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:48 pm

Thanatos - want to let you know that over a year and half after completion, people are still reading, and loving, your writings. Akira's always been one of my favorite secondary characters, and I want to thank you for not only writing one of the best stories here, but to also making her a very fleshed out and realistic character. I had the typical bittersweet feeling as I read the last chapter; sweet because it was satisfactory concluding, but bitter because i wanted more. I wanted to be there with Akira, Hisao, Lilly and Hanako at the beach. I wanted to know how Akira handled her new job, and whether she changed career paths. I wanted to know the up's and down's of their relationship.
I've been rabidly reading KS fanfics for the past two months now, and this is up there with the best. Thank you again for the two years of hard work you put into this and add another fan to your mailing list.
Currently reading (and being thoroughly depressed by): After the Dream by brythain
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The Benefit of Hindsight by Puncyclopedia
Learning to Fly by Eurobeatjester
Flutter by Sharp-O

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Oddball
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by Oddball » Fri Apr 29, 2016 8:03 am

I remember starting to read this at some point and then giving up on it. Oddly enough, there seem to be comments from me after I remember giving up, which is weird. Maybe my memory is just wrong.

Anyway, I decided to sit down and read this whole thing again. It took me three or four days to do so.

Typically, I'm a lot more critical with the stories I like than the stories I don't. This is going to be an exception. I really didn't like this story. There's a number of reasons for that. Even going I was asking myself how would this even work. Really, given the huge number of coincidences and how everything always seemed to fall into place for Hisao, it didn't.

Even you acknowledge several times that you had a hard time coming up for reasons for Hisao and Akira to interact. I will say the story got better as it went along. I thought it was odd at first that Hisao would spend so much time around Akira and practically none around Lilly and Hanako. This is even one of those instances where I thought more appearances by Hideaki would have been welcome. That part you did seem to fix though. Akira's boyfriend even got better developed as you went along to the point where I was actually cheering for him instead of Hisao.

Hisao in this story... he was a pretty horrible person. He seemed to obsess about Akira to an almost creepy degree. He was constantly looking at Akira's boyfriend as an enemy rather than as two people that actually legitimately seemed to like each other. If nothing else, they always seemed more of an equal couple than she did with Hisao. Hisao talked Akira out of going back to Scotland when it seemed that Akira had not only made up her mind, but seemed to be looking forward to trying to connect with her father and getting a new job. “Oddly” enough once Hisao started talking bad about the elder Satou, it felt like there was no longer any good words said about him by anyone.

On top of all that, Hisao is the one that really STARTS the fight between Akira and the boyfriend. So after yelling at his boss and causing his boss and his boss's girlfriend to break up what happens? His boss goes and starts working somewhere else. Akira doesn't seem mad at him for poking his nose into things and making them worse either. Hisao's just a selfish Karma Houdini here. Hell, even when Hisao and Akira meet up with Tetsuo again at the board meeting, Hisao takes the opportunity to try to start a fight between them when both of them are talking somewhat civilly to each other. In general in this story, Hisao seems to want to start arguments with people when he'd be better off just keeping his mouth shut.

Speaking of the job, how did he even get the job? He just got out of the hospital, he'd been having trouble staying awake and paying attention in class and he'd been ignoring the Nurse's orders to take better care of himself and get exercise. How was everybody okay with him just jumping into the workforce like that, manual labor, no less.

As for Akira and Hisao's relationship. It was just weird. For the majority of the story, it never felt like she had any feelings for the guy. She just seemed to be the voice of experiences helping him out and teaching him how to have some fun. Up until the time skip, it didn't feel like she was treating him any different than she would have treated Hideaki, Lilly, or Hanako in the same situations.

Then there's timeskip and now they're in a lovedovey touchy feely relationship. You kinda skipped an important step there.

In the actual VN, Hisao always come across as an equal to whoever he's with (more or less). He always has good intentions and tries his best to help out whoever with their problems. He doesn't always go about it the right way, but he tries. Here, Hisao doesn't have good intentions. He wants Akira and everything he does and thinks is heavily biased that way to the point where he's trying to talk her out of things she does want to do. He's not an equal. Akira is older, more experienced, healthier, has more money, a better job, etc etc. She's his superior in everyway. Hisao even seems to directly cause some of Akira's problems. He's not even good in bed, so what does she even see in him?

I really did like the Jigoro stuff. That worked wonders. The elder Mr. Satou stuff didn't work quite as well. He didn't seem to match up with the earlier descriptions we'd had of the guy. It felt to me more like an excuse for Hisao to be right again so he could get what he wanted, regardless of what anyone else wanted.

This was just not an enjoyably story to me. You forced way too many square pegs into round holes for it tow work and none of Hisao's flaws, mental or medical, ever seemed to cause him the slightest bit of trouble.

While I have to congratulate you on finishing a story of this magnitude, it's not one I'd recommend to anyone. Sorry.

Oh. I did like the other Setou. I can't help but think of him as Kenji Sr. despite nothing to back that up with. Hey, the story relied heavily enough on coincidences as it is. Why not one more?

Let's seee … anything else....? Oh yeah. The opening with Mutou and the scientific presentation. I loved that. It's a shame we didn't get more interaction between the two of them.


… I feel bad about this one. Really. I'm not trying to insult you or your writing. You obviously put a lot of time and effort into it and I really respect that.
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mefached
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by mefached » Thu May 05, 2016 7:13 am

I'm inclined to agree with Oddball. I did enjoy reading it. Your pacing and such is pretty good. But nothing bad ever happens to Hisao, and it just doesn't seem realistic. Also, we know from the VN that he doesn't exactly keel over and die from fucking, even in the Lilly and Shizune routes where he doesn't exercise much.

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StalkR
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

Post by StalkR » Fri May 20, 2016 9:43 am

After reading this fanfic and finishing it only in 3 days, it's pretty hard not to compliment after what my eyes have read and what my mind has imagined.

I must say, the writing in this fic makes me more delved into the story every time I move to the next bit. Even if the filling is pretty flat, it's still enough to keep me reading. The quality of the writing is similar (or even better) than the main route which is pretty imposing keeping in mind that this is a fanfic.

The storyline is a masterpiece. It's a nice approach to Akira by continuing off the manly picnic, considering it'll be awkward if you fell for Lilly then making a move at Akira mid way Lilly's route. Also, love the way you cross all the possibilities for Hisao to go back to the dorm and forcing him to stay at Akira's for the first time. End story is nice, even though I'm longing for more closure, the hanger that you put is alright and if not similar to what Emi's good end hanger.

At the end, it's pretty safe to say that this is one of my best KS fics of all time. Put on some tune if you are reading it though, Nocturne and Red Velvet are one of the more suiting tracks, imo. If Akira is one of the main heroine, she'll be pretty much my best girl (good thing she isn't, I'm still loyal to you Emi). Keep up the good work Thanatos!
Last edited by StalkR on Tue Jun 28, 2016 6:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
"You can forget someone you love, but never forget the love you had for someone"

Hey, check me out on Steam if you have time. Maybe we can play together sometime
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