Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Eprlide
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:27 am

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Eprlide » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:43 pm

Hoitash wrote:
Hmm, let's see...

Jigoro is a reincarnation of Saxton Hale from TF2
The first time I saw him in the VN, that's exactly what I thought. Big, yelling all the time and a constant desire to punch someone in the face. I just wish he was more like Mr. Torgue from Borderlands 2.

On the other hand, great introduction! It nicely portrays the current relationship of Hisao and Akira while setting up what's going to happen in the next chapters.

I really need to start working on my own stories again...
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

User avatar
neio
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:42 pm
Location: Xanadu

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by neio » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:54 pm

He's a real barrel of fun
Here I threw back my head and laughed out loud maniacally. Do I need help?

Well done on this chapter. Please don't start a new paragraph in the middle of the same person's speech; it throws me off every time.
Recommended fics: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route | Sisterhood (Hanako Epilogue) | Can You Open Your Heart? (Rika)

(New) Movie contest: From which 2012 film did I mangle this quote? Prize: Humble Bundle
You're worried about the Nurse? Try the mom.

Triscuitable
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:26 pm
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Triscuitable » Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:42 pm

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:And so we drop the humungous douche only to prepare for the arrival of a bigger one. Two, in fact, if Mr. Satou is anywhere near as douchey as implied. And both douches have a certain enmity between them. Ohoho boy this is gon' be good. I'd say it'd be something like Game of Thrones if I knew what I was talking about. Probably. Glad to have you back, Thanatos.
My fingers are crossed that they meet and it turns out Mr. Satou is jealous of Jigoro's blue hair. I'm red-haired, and out of the entire family, it's only my sister and I, as while my parents carried the "ginger gene", my mom's brother's wives did not. Thus, their kids are all brunette or blonde.

User avatar
Steinherz
Posts: 2095
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:06 am
Location: New England

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Steinherz » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:04 pm

Triscuitable wrote:
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:And so we drop the humungous douche only to prepare for the arrival of a bigger one. Two, in fact, if Mr. Satou is anywhere near as douchey as implied. And both douches have a certain enmity between them. Ohoho boy this is gon' be good. I'd say it'd be something like Game of Thrones if I knew what I was talking about. Probably. Glad to have you back, Thanatos.
My fingers are crossed that they meet and it turns out Mr. Satou is jealous of Jigoro's blue hair. I'm red-haired, and out of the entire family, it's only my sister and I, as while my parents carried the "ginger gene", my mom's brother's wives did not. Thus, their kids are all brunette or blonde.
Why on Earth would you be jealous of your in-law's hair colour :lol: ? Mr. Satou is Jigoro's wife(Mayoi)'s brother, not Jigoro's.
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

Triscuitable
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:26 pm
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Triscuitable » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:25 pm

Steinherz wrote:
Triscuitable wrote:
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:And so we drop the humungous douche only to prepare for the arrival of a bigger one. Two, in fact, if Mr. Satou is anywhere near as douchey as implied. And both douches have a certain enmity between them. Ohoho boy this is gon' be good. I'd say it'd be something like Game of Thrones if I knew what I was talking about. Probably. Glad to have you back, Thanatos.
My fingers are crossed that they meet and it turns out Mr. Satou is jealous of Jigoro's blue hair. I'm red-haired, and out of the entire family, it's only my sister and I, as while my parents carried the "ginger gene", my mom's brother's wives did not. Thus, their kids are all brunette or blonde.
Why on Earth would you be jealous of your in-law's hair colour :lol: ? Mr. Satou is Jigoro's wife(Mayoi)'s brother, not Jigoro's.
Does it matter? His glorious blue hair could destroy anyone's scalp!

carrion_crow
Posts: 55
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 2:27 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by carrion_crow » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:50 pm

And with that said, I am currently imagining Jigoro holding a blonde scalp by the hair with his katana in the other hand screaming like some sort of apache warrior. Thank you for this frightening image.
Akira=Miki>Lily>Emi>Rin>Hanako...........and shizune I guess

User avatar
Mader Levap
Posts: 160
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 4:09 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Mader Levap » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:11 pm

Thanatos02 is back! It's good and it looks like it will be better. Others already said it all. :mrgreen:
Image Proud member of Polish Route - group that translated Katawa Shoujo to Polish. Full translation released!

User avatar
Steinherz
Posts: 2095
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:06 am
Location: New England

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Steinherz » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:16 pm

carrion_crow wrote:And with that said, I am currently imagining Jigoro holding a blonde scalp by the hair with his katana in the other hand screaming like some sort of apache warrior. Thank you for this frightening image.
I think Akira would murder Jigoro for messing with her mother's hair :lol:
Remember, Lilly and Akira's father is Japanese (logically he'd have Black/Dark Brown hair). They get the blonde hair from their mother
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

carrion_crow
Posts: 55
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 2:27 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by carrion_crow » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:33 pm

Steinherz wrote:
carrion_crow wrote:And with that said, I am currently imagining Jigoro holding a blonde scalp by the hair with his katana in the other hand screaming like some sort of apache warrior. Thank you for this frightening image.
I think Akira would murder Jigoro for messing with her mother's hair :lol:
Remember, Lilly and Akira's father is Japanese (logically he'd have Black/Dark Brown hair). They get the blonde hair from their mother
hmmm...good point..."holding a scalp by the slick black hair with..." and now its logical lol
Akira=Miki>Lily>Emi>Rin>Hanako...........and shizune I guess

Silver
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:48 am

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Silver » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:43 am

Another good update and now I'll read it all again from the start.

User avatar
WilyWiley
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:31 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by WilyWiley » Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:04 pm

Just my luck. I take a few days away from looking at the forums and this thread, and the next thing I know there's a new update. Can't wait to see what happens!

Mr. Satou vs. Jigoro
Round 1
FIGHT!!

Although given what we know about them, I bet this is not really round 1.
Image
Image
Image

User avatar
neio
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:42 pm
Location: Xanadu

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by neio » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:08 pm

Can we get a
The air between them ripples with the heat of their enmity
in the next chapter? :D
Recommended fics: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route | Sisterhood (Hanako Epilogue) | Can You Open Your Heart? (Rika)

(New) Movie contest: From which 2012 film did I mangle this quote? Prize: Humble Bundle
You're worried about the Nurse? Try the mom.

User avatar
demonix
Posts: 356
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by demonix » Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:21 pm

^That sound awfully like a request, and everyone should know that requests are not allowed in this section (that sticky should make that painfully clear).

User avatar
Thanatos02
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:52 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Thanatos02 » Thu Aug 01, 2013 4:07 pm

Hoitash wrote:Sorry, I'll stop. Very glad for the update. I really like the little moments between Akira and Hisao when they do cutesy stuff, like the couch lunch and the foot play.
Thanks for reading! The relationship between Hisao and Akira was something I really wanted to focus on. I wanted to portray them as having a more romantic narrative but I didn't want to go so far as to make it seem like they were in full swing after only a month of being together. Things are going to pick up fairly quickly due to circumstances, however. The first H-scene is fairly close, a lot closer than you might think.
Mirage_GSM wrote:My mind got stuck trying to compute this sentence for a while...
Edited that, all I had to do was cut out 'from here.' Thanks for pointing it out. I didn't want to specify a restaurant, though, since I didn't see much of a point in Akira recognizing it and the two having a small conversation about it; we already know she lives in the city and is very familiar with the area.
“She goes to Yamaku; same year as you and Lilly, actually. I wouldn't know if you've met her or not, though,...
Wouldn't you usually follow up on something like this? It's pretty obvious to the readers who she's talking about anyway, isn't it?
Which is why I felt there wasn't much of a need to follow up. Anything more than that would have just been "here's a bunch of foreshadowing but I'm going to outright tell you in case somehow you don't know."
With that said, I will admit that I let onto it a bit too heavily.
So, Hisao is going to meet Jigoro. No way that can go wrong, is there?
I guess we'll just have to find out. Thanks for reading as always, Mirage.
Triscuitable wrote:I get the feeling you're going to play with the plot point we see in Shizune's route at this point.
There are going to be a few things that tie into Shizune's route, of course. Something I've tried to do with the Akira route is maintain consistency with the canon routes, and at some point I think I've left a nod or a jab to all of the girls in the official game.
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:And so we drop the humungous douche only to prepare for the arrival of a bigger one. Two, in fact, if Mr. Satou is anywhere near as douchey as implied. And both douches have a certain enmity between them. Ohoho boy this is gon' be good. I'd say it'd be something like Game of Thrones if I knew what I was talking about. Probably. Glad to have you back, Thanatos.
That's the plan, yeah. I'm still playing around with the nuances of Mr. Satou's character, but I think I've got something that will be generally good. I learned a lot about how to write good antagonists while I was writing Tetsuo, and I think I'll be able to apply most of it this time around. Thanks for keeping up with the story.
Guest Poster wrote:I have to admit, in a business culture like the Japanese one, where seniority is valued over pure merit when it comes to promotions and even graduates who were hired for the purpose of being the manager someday starting at the bottom of the ladder, this is one hell of a big achievement...though Jigoro could very well have insulted half of his peers by picking a 25-year old as management material. Although...that seems to be what the man excels in anyway. :wink:
We're going to go into a lot of detail about just how Akira wound up in her position with regards to Jigoro's past. Unlike some other elements in the story, I've got a loooooot of room to play around here, and I think I'll be able to deliver something sufficiently entertaining and satisfying as far as the questions about their past together go. I'm really glad that you always question a lot of stuff about Akira and the route in general; it really helps to keep me on my toes and not fall into a bad habit of nonsense justification or breaking character, even though there have been moments where that happened. Thanks for reading, and I hope I don't disappoint.
neio wrote:Well done on this chapter. Please don't start a new paragraph in the middle of the same person's speech; it throws me off every time.
Ah, sorry about that. Still experimenting with a lot of things. I've got an editor and proofreader that both think it's a step in the right direction, whereas I've got a few readers that find it really jarring. I'll try to find a healthy medium for the next chapter. Thanks for the comment.


To everyone I didn't respond to: Thank you so much for always commenting and keeping up with the releases, however slow they may be. Every time I read the replies it puts a smile on my face to know that this story is entertaining for so many people.

Xomy
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:12 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 7/28]

Post by Xomy » Thu Aug 01, 2013 4:17 pm

I just realized Akira's uncle is Jigoro.

Jigoro vs Mr. Satou will be of such an epicness :twisted:

From here, any story were nobody gets his head cut off by a katana is pure fantasy.

Post Reply