Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

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Fanuilos
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Fanuilos » Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:28 pm

Thanatos02 wrote: The way I reasoned it out is that Tetsuo has to be a puzzle piece. He has to fit in with what's established, and has to be reasonable enough to conform to the things that could have been implied. He has to have enough pros to be an established match for Akira in the first place, but at the same time he has to have enough cons for there to be a chance of success for Hisao that isn't less than 1%. It's a stupidly difficult thing to balance, if I'm totally honest haha.
You're doing a good job! Tetsuo feels like he belongs with these characters and the setting. I'm looking forward to reading more.

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Koi
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Location: Behind you.

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Koi » Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:45 pm

That was one heck of a read from the start to where it's right now. Keep up the great work, I love the way you're writing Akira!
I'll be watching for the next part. :D
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hawkeye77th
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Location: Stumps, Bergonla Satrapy, Turgonia

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by hawkeye77th » Fri Jan 11, 2013 7:18 pm

I'm so glad someone referred me to this. I have really enjoyed this and I am looking forward to the next part, keep up the good work!

Triscuitable
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Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Triscuitable » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:54 pm

Wow, it feels like you're spying on my relationship with my girlfriend. Every last element related to financial management between the couple is mirrored in my life (but with less arguing and more hugs and kisses). Her mom would probably have my head if she found out I was the one making sure the money leaving the wallet was mine and not her daughter's (yes, her mom actually does like my girlfriend to intercept payment).

We went to see a movie (The Hobbit, actually), and I promised her mom that I would let my girlfriend buy snacks. I paid for the tickets, and had the bill down at the register before we had even finished getting our drinks. Nobody pays for their own birthday.

In other words, stop spying on my Scottish girlfriend and I. (I'm honestly not joking about any of this, minus the spying).

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Thanatos02
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Thanatos02 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 3:45 am

Koi wrote:That was one heck of a read from the start to where it's right now. Keep up the great work, I love the way you're writing Akira!
I'll be watching for the next part. :D
hawkeye77th wrote:I'm so glad someone referred me to this. I have really enjoyed this and I am looking forward to the next part, keep up the good work!
More readers is always great. Every person counts, even if it doesn't seem like it since I take so long to respond to these comments ;_;.
Triscuitable wrote:stop spying on my Scottish girlfriend and I.
I swear I'm not a wizard. Or a mind-reader.
That would be awesome, though.

The mind reading part, of course.

Doloni
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:11 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Doloni » Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:44 pm

Thanks for writing this. So far the story's awesome, it's one of the best fanfictions I've read.
I like your writing style a lot, the way you portray Akira and describe things, and how you keep the story flowing. I find it very enjoyable and natural to read, good work on that. Perhaps the only thing I'd like to point out is that those "chance meetings" everywhere seem a bit excessive, but that's more "story planning" than "writing skills" (perhaps? I don't really have an idea what I'm talking about, to put my opinion into words xD). anyway it's perfect.
Please keep up your good work, I'm in my final exams week and I really need something to pull me out of the negative-hole I'm being sucked into. I look forward to the next chapter!
Thanatos02 wrote: I swear I'm not a wizard. Or a mind-reader.
That would be awesome, though.

The mind reading part, of course.
Are you a spy? A psychic spy? */feminist conspiracy mode: ON/*

Thanatos02 wrote: “Hello, how are you? Fine, thank you.” she announces to the class in English with about as much enthusiasm as a drowsy cat.

Welp, time to look out the window for an hour.
That one made me laugh. It really did. Perhaps it is because I can relate to it? Damnit, having to put up with bad/boring teachers sure is a difficult thing.

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Thanatos02
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Thanatos02 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:35 pm

This is the final part of act 3. Doesn't go out with as much of a bang as act 2 did, but this leads into the overarching plot in a much more seamless manner. Actually had to do a number of edits to cut out information that, uh, shouldn't have been in yet, but thankfully I managed to catch it before everyone and their mother had read it. Comments, criticisms, and anything else you want to say is all appreciated.

Act 3 - Part 8: Chains

A glowing sign at the front announces the name of our destination as we slow to a halt. Besides Lilly, Hanako, myself, and a few others, the bus is vacant, with not a sound to be heard save for the muffled trotting of the motor.

The view outside soon shifts into a familiar scene as the bus slows to a halt. Despite there being four or five other passengers, the three of us are the only ones to disembark at the stop. Hanako steps off first and offers her hand to Lilly, who descends to the sidewalk without issue.

The doors shut as soon as I step onto the concrete ground, its path taking it back into the city and leaving the three of us here. Most of the shops have already closed down for the night, leaving only the glow of a few streetlamps and the half-moon overhead to keep us company. A peaceful silence fills the air, almost making me wish there was nothing to talk about.

“It's calm tonight.” Lilly remarks, hands at her back. Hanako glances between the two of us, as if expecting something.

“Yeah, it's pretty nice. Some peace and quiet is a good change of pace.” I reply.

“Very relaxing.” She returns.

She reaches out and taps Hanako's shoulder before locking arms with her. Rather than begin the long trek back to the school, however, she reaches out with her other arm, both feeling around for my presence and beckoning for me to be at that spot.

Her hand makes a gentle contact with my arm before hooking around it, offering no resistance as Hanako and I both step off. I take a quiet gulp as I try to fathom why Lilly would do such a thing. She might be quicker to attach to others than myself, but I can’t help but feel that my thoughts on a serious talk were correct.

We begin walking back to the school in silence, albeit a strange one. An emptiness hangs in the air as if expecting someone to speak first.

I want to ask Lilly what she thinks of Tetsuo or what she thinks of Akira and him being together. What does she think of her sister's current position in life. How could I possibly bring up something like that without arousing suspicion, though? It's bad enough that I already gave her a bottle of wine and admitted to talking to her on the phone while she was away. Now I have to pry into her personal matters?

Then out of the silence, a meek voice decides to ask “Lilly, what do you think of M-M-Mr. Shuugetsu?”

Is... Is Hanako just as interested in the matter as I am?

We continue down the sidewalk as Lilly takes a small pause to think, mulling over her words with meticulous care.

“He's a fine gentleman.” She answers in a curt manner.

I can respect her reply, but it sounds like she's sidestepping something. We both saw how cold she acted towards him at the dinner table, and that's not her usual manner of dealing with people she's at least acquainted with. The only other time I've seen her in a state of non-geniality was when Shizune was pestering her over some paperwork.

She seems to have some kind of a feud with Shizune, though. Does she have something of that caliber with Tetsuo? Or is it just a general distaste? He seemed polite enough at the dinner, and he didn't even make that many poor attempts at humor. All he really did was trip over himself with the introduction to Hanako and argue with Akira.

Should I just ask her about it? Or maybe...

“He's nice enough, but I think he likes to argue a little too much.” I remark.

Master of tact.

Hanako gives a weak nod, although refrains from further adding anything as Lilly's response meets the open air.

“Tetsuo certainly enjoys his debates more than the average person.” She says before pursing her lips together, as if regretting that she'd said such a thing.

There’s a bit of an understatement. Why is she so afraid to say what she actually thinks? Surely it's not a crime to have an opinion about your sister's...

Argh. I had no problem addressing such a thing before, but now I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Akira's boyfriend is my boss. What are the chances?!

“Yeah, him and Akira really go at it when it comes to that kind of thing. Seems like it gets out of hand a lot more than it should.” I reply.

“Their issue is that they refuse to agree on anything.” Lilly says , followed by a short “ah” as she realizes what just escaped her mouth.

I'd like to hop on that, but I know it's nothing. It's plain as day that Lilly has issue with Tetsuo -- I just need to find out what it is. It may be rude and intrusive curiosity, but it's curiosity nonetheless.

“That's the feeling I was getting as well, to be honest. The two of you don't seem to get along either.” I comment.

A short silence takes hold of the conversation before Lilly returns with “it would seem so.” She doesn't add anything else, content to let our talk die off, for some reason. It isn't until we walk past the Shanghai that anything else is said.

“Ah, hey, I didn't know they were open this late.” I note, trying to think of something to lead back into the previous exchange.

“Y-Yeah.” Hanako replies.

The western-themed building is vacant except for a young librarian sitting at the counter, leaning heavily against her arms as she nods off.

“Think we should go say hi to Yuuko? We did skip on dessert at the restaurant, after all.” I ask.

Lilly giggles at the thought, but shakes her head as she declines the offer. “It's been quite a long day already. I do hope you can forgive my selfishness.”

Damn. I can't say I blame her though, considering what her schedule has been like. Waking up early in the morning to catch a plane, being unable to sleep through the entire flight, and then having to take rides in and out of the city to have dinner with some friends? I'm sure anyone would be tired at that point.

I shrug to Hanako and give a curt “fair enough” to Lilly before being tugged back into the previous pace. Thanks to the streets around us being devoid of other vehicles, it takes no time at all to cross the road and begin the trek up to the school on the hill.

There has to be some way to break up this silence.

“So, Lilly, what was it like over in Scotland?” I ask.

“It was very nice, although quite warm this time of year.” Lilly responds, lightening up at the question.

“Did you enjoy seeing your family again?”

She flashes a gentle smile before answering with “yes, I enjoyed meeting with my family for the first time in a few years. Things certainly haven't changed between Mother and Father.”

“That's always great. Did you and Akira do anything while you were there?”

“Ah, yes, we had quite a lot to do. Our house in Inverness is only a short distance from the beach, so Akira and I spent some time there.” She replies. “There was no shortage when it came to shopping malls, and my sister didn't seem too... financially worried for the time being.”

She stops to think for a second before adding “I should have bought some souvenirs for you two” with a pout.

“You don't have to worry about it.” I reply, chuckling, which is then followed by a flustered Hanako with “y-you didn't have to...”

“So I guess you and Akira had a nice trip, then?” I ask.

“The time we could spend together was certainly nice, yes. Akira was in a lot of meetings with Father, however. A lot of things to discuss, it seemed.”

“Were they family meetings, or for something else? I hear your family has a pretty successful business.” I comment.

The question takes a while to receive an answer, as Lilly spends at least a minute mulling over her response, as if analyzing each word in order to make sure nothing wrong is said. In the end, the answer we wind up with is “I'm not quite sure. It's been a few years since we've all been together, so I'm sure she and Father just had a lot to catch up on.”

Just how long has it been since they decided to move away? I've heard that it was when Akira was back in college, so have she and Lilly been without parents for the past six or seven years? Were there no phone calls or any kind of support from their parents?

It’s a bit of a mess, in my opinion.

“Are Akira and your father close?” I ask.

“The two of them... they're much closer than they like to admit.” She answers, letting out a sigh. Despite her apparent disappointment, she's able to continue smiling as she adds “Akira practically grew up under our father's wing, though. Anywhere he could be found; she was with him, whether it be at home or at the office.”

So she was a daddy's girl. Heh, I can almost imagine that right now; a tiny Akira riding around on her father's shoulders.

“On that note, what do you think of Akira, Hisao?”

I knew that question was coming. It had to pop up eventually; I'd be a little disappointed if it hadn't, honestly.

That doesn't make it any less difficult of a question, though. Up until a few days ago, I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for her, and even now I'm second-guessing myself. Is such a relationship even realistic? There's so many different impediments that it may as well be impossible.

“Well, she's quite an interesting character.” I reply.

Still, there's a lot of things that are supposed to be impossible but happen nearly every day. Once upon a time it was said that man would never fly, that man would never reach the moon, or that man could never hope to harness the power of lightning... and yet such things not only happened, but have happened every day for decades.

If we can send over two-thousand tons of metal and fuel into space, is someone like me winding up with someone like her really so much of a farfetched idea?

And even if it is something unreachable, do I have anything else to chase after?

Hanako and Lilly both giggle at my reply. “She certainly is, but surely that isn't all you think about her, right?”

She's a sharp one. Either that or I'm terrible at hiding it.

“She seems like someone I'd like to get to know better. I'm not sure what it is about her, honestly.” I admit.

That much is the truth, at least. What makes her who she is? What does she enjoy and what does she detest? How did she get to where she is now? What kind of a person is she on the inside?

Why do I like this girl named Akira Satou? What is it about her that clutters my mind with all these thoughts?

“Akira does just seem to draw everyone in, doesn't she?” Lilly counters, her lips curved up into a soft smile. “It's always been that way, in fact. She was never quite one of the popular girls, but that didn't stop her from garnering a bit of attention.”

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

She pauses for a moment to think, letting out a short yawn in the process. Our footsteps seem to slow down the farther we get up the slope, both thanks to my inability to push myself and because Lilly is practically about to fall asleep.

A glance at my watch reveals that it’s nearly 9 P.M. And it shows, as the girl beside me is almost leaning on Hanako as we trudge our way up to the school.

“She was quite an enigma to many of the girls in our school growing up. Smarter than any other student in class... when she was awake.” Lilly begins. “She wasn't a delinquent, but she had trouble following guidelines.”

“Ah, so she was a bit rebellious.”

“Not quite; Akira just seemed to drift through everything. She worked hard enough to pass, but never enough to get perfect grades even though it was well within her abilities. She pushed herself to get into honors, but never went the extra mile.”

Trying hard enough to get to the bottom line, but never above that? It sounds to me like she just didn't want to apply herself. It seems a bit wasteful in all reality; having the potential, but not wanting to do the work to realize it?

Capable of greatness, but incapable of reaching for it?

“Why would she let herself be held back like that? Did she do a lot of extracurricular things that kept her from studying?”

“It's not my place to say, I'm afraid. She was always trying out for some sport or another; with or without father's permission.” She continues. “Track, soccer, swimming, lacrosse, kendo, volleyball, basketball, even the cheer squad at one point.”

Even for someone with a healthy heart, that's a lot to handle. I'd be lucky to go back to soccer in my condition, and yet she was going for a dozen different things at the same age.

...I wonder what she looked like as a cheerleader.

“Did she ever make it in anything?”

“She could never get the chance to find out before father would step in and deny her any involvement. Academics were the only thing that mattered in our family, and anything short of passing was unacceptable.” She answers, brow narrowing in dreary thought.

Hanako's gaze jumps between the two of us as we talk, seeming to absorb information as it's passed between us. Does she know all of this, or is she just now learning of it as well?

“That seems like a cruel way of promoting good grades. To me, it feels like she only pushed herself up to the passing mark in hopes of being allowed to join a team.” I reply.

“It was certainly a strict way of doing things. Our family has always been quite patriarchal though; it was the only way he knew how to encourage us. Deep down at heart, all he wanted was for the two of us to be fine people, and I respect him for that.” Lilly responds, a tinge of pride layered above her voice.

Considering that the two of them are from a wealthy family, something like that isn't hard to believe. Sacrifice everything else in order to achieve perfect academic scores? I can understand the motivation and the reasoning, but something like that just doesn't work in a realistic setting. Especially with a girl like Akira, who I'm sure would rather be out gambling over a pool table than studying for six hours.

“Did you two go to the same school?” I ask.

I just can't stop with the questions, can I? There's a strange drive in me that has to know about about Akira, and I can't help but try and satiate it, especially since Lilly doesn't have issue with what may as well be an interrogation at this point.

“Yes, we went to a private Catholic school for women together. Sadly, I only had the chance to spend two years with her before she moved on to a public high school.” Lilly answers.

The corners of her mouth curve up into a nostalgic smile as she continues with “it was a brilliant time, however. She would have stayed through high school if she hadn't gotten invited to a different setting.”

“It doesn't seem like it's very difficult to have a great time when Akira is involved.” I comment, unable to stifle a laugh.

A car hums by as we continue to walk up the hill, the top-most floors of Yamaku drawing into sight as we step past the halfway point. That ever-constant thumping in my chest has intensified since we stepped off the bus, but not so much that it bothers or even holds me back. It helps that I decided to take my pills a bit early when I went back to change for dinner.

“So if she was restricted from sports in order to focus on her grades, was she even allowed to have friends?” I ask.

At this, Hanako takes a bit more interest, thanks to Lilly perking up and smiling with delight.

“Akira was never without friends. She always had a bit of a talent for joking around, and that was something that seemed to draw everyone in. The lunch table the two of us shared always crowded with at least a dozen other girls.”

I guess that’s something she’s always been good at, then. There’s an aura of charisma around her I just can’t help but get pulled towards, and it would seem I’m not the only one it has an effect on.

“She seems like that sort, yeah. Aspiring comedian?” I comment, chuckling.

“Aspiring class clown, certainly.” Lilly replies with a light giggle. “That’s something she and my father share; they’re both lovers of comedy.”

The man is strict, refusing to allow his daughter to join any kind of sport or club so that she can focus on her academics, and yet loves to do things that make people laugh? It’s not so much wrong as it is jarring. I’ve never even met the man though, so I guess any kind of speculation at this point is just that – speculation.

“It's something Akira and Tetsuo seem to share as well. He couldn’t stop trying to joke around when I went in for the interview.”

“Yes, that is one of the few things they have in common.” Lilly responds, brow narrowing in annoyance at the mention of his name.

“You don’t seem too friendly with him, to be honest. What’s the matter?” I ask, deciding to finally leave tact at the door and try to get down to business.

She gives a light shake of her head accompanied by another sigh, choosing to dodge the question and reply with “I’m… not at liberty to say.”

Why does she evade the subject of Akira’s boyfriend so much? A few weeks ago she was fine with joking around and saying something like ‘ah, she’s taken I’m afraid’ and now it’s like she herself resents the idea. Does she just prefer not to think of things that bother her?

“What do you mean by that? It’s not wrong to have opinions. It’s not like I’m gonna run and tell them whatever it is you have to say.” I remark.

She meets my statement with a downcast gaze, unsure of whether or not to answer.

I’ve lost count of the number of lights we’ve passed under, our feet practically dragging along the concrete ground as the journey continues. Lilly’s fatigue has begun to rub off on both Hanako and myself, making it feel as though our walk could last forever.

“It’s not quite a proper thing to say.” Lilly returns.

“Do you not approve of them?” I ask, trying to push the conversation in the preferred direction.

“No, no, that’s not it at all. I approve of Tetsuo as a person, and I truly believe that he is a fine gentleman. I simply do not believe that he is the best match for my sister.” She answers, retaining a straight face.

Finally, a concrete thought.

“What makes you say that?”

“Akira, she... she works much more than her fair share. It’s been this way since she was earning her degree. I just think she deserves someone more suited to that kind of lifestyle.” She says, letting go of both of our arms and folding her hands in front of her.

Rather than pull out her cane, she elects to walk on her own, although she seems to take a few paces to get into rhythm thanks to her drowsy state of mind.

“Tetsuo isn’t someone who can fit into her schedule." Lilly continues, "when the two of them aren’t bickering over the tiniest of things, they’re too preoccupied with work or other engagements to do anything for each other.”

That’s something I’m sure I could have figured out. It sounds like tonight was the first time they’d been together in a couple of weeks, not even counting the breather they took while Akira was away on family business. I’m sure there’s phone calls multiple times a day, but that just isn’t enough to keep a relationship steady when the two of them live in the same city.

I can agree with Lilly, though. Akira definitely works quite a bit. Just last week she was mentioning that she hadn’t been to the beach or even taken a vacation since she was a child. Wouldn’t the first step to a solution be to try and take more time off?

“Has it always been that way? Even when you first met him?” I ask.

“Akira and Tetsuo had already been dating for four months when I first made his acquaintance. He seemed a fine man at first, even though he could not pick a cologne to cover up the smell of gasoline.” Lilly answers with a short ‘hmph.’ “Their issues have been present since then, and I’m sure it had already been a problem at that point as well.”

Smelled of gasoline? That’s an off-putting thing to most anyone; I can’t imagine how much it must have bothered someone whose first impressions come from scent and sound.

“He drives a motorcycle, according to Akira. What exactly do you think their problem is?”

“The bickering, of course. Couples are supposed to agree or compromise. There is nothing of the sort between them, and I know it tears Akira apart to be a part of such a thing.”

Anyone can see that just by being around them for fifteen minutes. The two of them start to argue over something mundane, and then neither of them has the nerve to cut it off until it gets out of hand. I wish I could say it was Tetsuo egging it on, but Akira never bothers to let it slide.

That’s the part that bothers me. Why does she have to fuel the fire? Is it because it's Tetsuo? Does she feel some kind of rivalry with him even though they're supposed to be... close? Or is this just the kind of person that Akira is when you break through the calm and controlled exterior?

Her footsteps seem to pat against the ground with more force as her temperament slips away. Hanako clenches her hands together and looks on with worry, lips pursed together as she tries to listen to everything being said.

“It would be nice if they could simply stop arguing, but it’s not that easy. Akira is usually able to evade such things, but things always escalate when she is with him. Tetsuo finds some kind of enjoyment in needless bickering, and goes out of his way to start it sometimes.”

“It reminds me of a certain student council president, in fact.” She adds, a look of mixed annoyance and spite upon her visage.

I guess even Lilly is capable of a little bias, then.

We continue walking at our own relaxed pace, left alone to our discussion by an empty road and a night sky devoid of any activity.

“I don’t dislike Tetsuo, I simply find him off-putting.” Lilly concludes.

I’m still not settled on the idea, though. Was that always part of who he is, or is it something he does for Akira? There has to be some kind of common interest, they can’t have made it this far on fighting alone.

“So why does Akira stick with him, then?” I ask.

Surely Lilly would know the answer to that. They’re sisters, they’ve got to talk about everything, right?

“I wish I knew the answer to that.” Lilly confesses.



“Akira’s feelings aren’t quite as easy to read as they used to be. In the beginning, she was smitten with him. There was nothing but praise and joy for him back when she first told me about him over the phone. I was happy as can be for her, and it was my desire that she could find a life with him.” Lilly says, her expression masking any emotions she may have had on the subject.

“Now, though… they’re falling apart, even if they seem joyful on the exterior.” She remarks.

Our footsteps calm and slow down as we arrive in front of the iron-wrought gates of Yamaku. Their metallic sheen emits a faint glow under the moonlit sky, its surface cold to the touch. I push one side open and gesture for Hanako and Lilly to step in before letting it ‘clang’ shut behind me.

The school grounds appear to be devoid of any life except for the three of us. A glance at my watch reveals a time of 9:15 P.M. – not quite curfew, but late enough for the number of roaming students to be next to nothing.

“I’m sorry for having you two listen to my fussing.” Lilly remarks, her back to the pathway leading to the female dormitory.

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to feel bad about thinking things like that. I’m sure it happens to everyone in your position.”

My reply gets a light smile out of her, followed by “thank you, Hisao.”

“Does Akira know about what you think? Don’t you think she has a right to know?”

“I value her happiness above all else. I’m sure my musings would only complicate things more than they already are.” She responds with a strained smile, as though she could fall asleep at any moment.

A light breeze rolls by in the silence left by her statement.

She’s electing to stay out of it? How can she stand to dodge out of a problem that may lead to a man she finds distasteful becoming her brother-in-law? Is she assuming that the relationship is doomed to fail anyway, and that any input on her end would be pointless?

“Thank you for listening to my troubles.” Lilly says. “It’s getting quite late, so we should be taking our leave. It would be nice if you could stop by for tea sometime.”

I almost nod my head before replying with “no problem. I’ll try to find time for you two.”

My answer seems to elicit a reacting from Hanako, whose face is soon dyed by a light shade of red. Lilly bows her head and Hanako gives a faint “g-good night” as the two of them turn and begin walking in the opposite direction.

Their departure leaves me all alone in front of the gateway, both hands in my pockets.

It’s a strange thought; that I might be better for a girl than her current partner. A few months in the hospital and my first week here trained me to believe that I was at the bottom of the social ladder, good for nothing more than drifting through life without aspirations.

I went to a forest clearing with my high school crush and had a life of normality ripped out from under me.

I went to the emergency room and received a million different thoughts, forced to lie back in a stale white bed in a stale white room in a stale white building as my reality was ripped apart and reconstructed before my eyes.

I went to a school for the disabled and found that the image I’d rebuilt for myself was wrong, as though logic were trying to reject me.

I went to an exposition with my eccentric science teacher and found something that truly interested me, choosing to run down the one path that opened rather than sit around and wait for more options.

I went to a miscellaneous suit shop in the city and found myself falling in love with a woman years older, wiser, and more experienced than myself despite the fact that she already had someone.

Nearly half a year has passed since my life changed, and now it’s changing again.
Last edited by Thanatos02 on Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:09 am, edited 3 times in total.

Triscuitable
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by Triscuitable » Thu Jan 17, 2013 3:45 am

I'm going to blame 11:45PM for any errors I may have overlooked. Anyways, just going to awkwardly move into that corner over there.

Write more of the story! Woo! *Clapping noises*

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hawkeye77th
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by hawkeye77th » Thu Jan 17, 2013 6:13 pm

Awesome, couldn't have found a better day to read the newest part!

LegyPlegy
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by LegyPlegy » Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:38 pm

Pretty awesome!

Keep writing, you're great at it!
Damn paper trails

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Guest90206
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by Guest90206 » Fri Jan 18, 2013 3:53 am

Established competition has been introduced.

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Hanabro to the end.

XanatosPlannedThis86
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:55 am

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by XanatosPlannedThis86 » Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:11 am

A fine conclusion to this act. And the conversation went exactly the way I expected it to be. An interesting thing I noted was the way Hisao in this route got Lily to open up more about herself and her opinions on things she would find too "Risky" I should say (Don't know if that is the right word for it.) I'm actually reminded of the final arc of her route when she kept things more to herself and her internal conflict about wanting to go to Scotland and be with her parents. I'm actually wandering if Hisaos actions in this route may result in her confiding in Hanako about her reluctance to leave and maybe it will be Hanako this time that gets her to stay.

Anyway I take it the next act will be more of maybe a "Courtship" phase of sorts between Hisao and Akira. It will be interesting to see how Hisao can work with that 1% chance of winning Akira over. Granted there's also a great chance of Akira still patching things up for Tetsuo so basically more conflict may happen.

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Thanatos02
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:52 pm

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by Thanatos02 » Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:11 am

Triscuitable wrote:Write more of the story! Woo! *Clapping noises*
I will write as fast as time and my hands permit. As it stands, they're already on the verge of falling off :<.
hawkeye77th wrote:Awesome, couldn't have found a better day to read the newest part!
LegyPlegy wrote:Pretty awesome!

Keep writing, you're great at it!
Thanks for the compliments, and thanks for reading!
Guest90206 wrote:Established competition has been introduced.
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XanatosPlannedThis86 wrote:A fine conclusion to this act. And the conversation went exactly the way I expected it to be. An interesting thing I noted was the way Hisao in this route got Lily to open up more about herself and her opinions on things she would find too "Risky" I should say (Don't know if that is the right word for it.) I'm actually reminded of the final arc of her route when she kept things more to herself and her internal conflict about wanting to go to Scotland and be with her parents. I'm actually wandering if Hisaos actions in this route may result in her confiding in Hanako about her reluctance to leave and maybe it will be Hanako this time that gets her to stay.

Anyway I take it the next act will be more of maybe a "Courtship" phase of sorts between Hisao and Akira. It will be interesting to see how Hisao can work with that 1% chance of winning Akira over. Granted there's also a great chance of Akira still patching things up for Tetsuo so basically more conflict may happen.
I'm not afraid to admit that I take it a little too far with the meta sometimes. I get this strange joy out of playing around with 'what if' situations, and essentially that's what the Akira route as an entirety is. I'm trying to keep the characters as close to their original iterations as is humanly possible, but a little dramatic irony here and there concerning issues in the canon routes doesn't hurt.
And act 4 is certainly going to move in that direction, yes. I'm going to try and pull away from all of the classroom/work scenes and focus more on the Hisao/Akira/Tetsuo triangle. Hisao finding his motivation and how he's going to keep pushing forward even through all of the nonsense he's been through is a major story element, yes, but it might have to take second-chair to the relationship between him and Akira.

I mean, that's what people are reading for, right?

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Exbando
Posts: 122
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:47 am
Location: America's High-Five

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/05]

Post by Exbando » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:36 am

Thanatos02 wrote: “On that note, what do you think of Akira, Hisao?”

...

“Well, she's quite an interesting character.” I reply.

...

Hanako and Lilly both giggle at my reply. “She certainly is, but surely that isn't all you think about her, right?”

She's a sharp one. Either that or I'm terrible at hiding it.
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/ ... 138908.jpg

That's all I got
Hanako > Lilly = Emi > Shizune > Rin
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here
I have a fanfiction! It's pretty bad. I started another fanfic cause I'm stupid!

komina12345
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:33 am

Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 1/16]

Post by komina12345 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:38 am

Please never let this die.
I created an account just so I could follow the glory of this Akira route.
Hanako, Akira, and Lilly
The Three Musketeers

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