Akira Pseudo-Route [Complete!]

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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Guest Poster » Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:26 pm

Yet "controlling" is exactly how Akira described him earlier. Of course, Akira's view is hardly objective when it comes to the subject of her parents.
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monkeywitha6pack
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:42 pm

Yeah i guess she did say that, i just figured he wasn't that controlling if he just got up and left the car like he did. But i guess he could turn around and do something like 'come to Scotland or i fire you'
Wahahaha~.
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by bhtooefr » Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:57 pm

I'm getting a passive-aggressive manipulative vibe from him, myself.
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:03 pm

I kind of got a everything is done wrong unless i do it myself type of vibe
Wahahaha~.
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Dreamcastin » Mon Dec 02, 2013 2:13 am

The writing for Akira's dad was amazing. He was written better than any fanfic that included him.
Do you write a fanfiction?
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by muffinseal » Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:06 pm

Akira and Hisao goin drinking again?
http://i.imgur.com/xpD6bcv.jpg
MAKE IT HAPPENN LOL
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Calconius
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Calconius » Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:10 am

What I initially meant to say was, it's been some time but God knows I'd love to see this come full circle into a finale.

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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by sanduba » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:32 pm

Currently reading this. Super different but it's cool anyway. Finished Act 2 yesterday, will start Act 3 tonight.
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Thanatos02 » Sun Dec 22, 2013 8:18 am

Imagine my horror when I check the thread for the first time in two weeks only to find out that the response I was supposed to have already posted never went through.
Alright, let's try to get this all sorted out.
bhtooefr wrote:Keep the level of formality consistent.
Thank you. Had a bit of a flub there. I think a constant struggle for me has been keeping up with all of the japanese culture things. It's really not my strong point.
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:I don't recall whether Mr. Satou's physical appearance was described to us before, but for the strangest reason I kept picturing Van Hohenheim instead of what you described here. Oh well. He did, at the very least, stand up to my "huge douche" standard.
I think
Steinherz wrote:Image
hits the mark pretty well. Just a little "fuller" and without the towering forehead. I dunno if I've gotten the description very consistent but he has a very short ponytail. He'd be darker-skinned as well, not necessarily tanned, but along those lines. If I had to give a straight answer for his age, I'd say he's 52. Just old enough, but not yet old enough to be a reasonable grandparent.
OutofBlues wrote:Mr. Satou actually comes off more of a douche here than in Fluff's Lilly storyline, I didn't think it was possible, but there he is in all his douchey (Is that a word? It should be a word.) glory.
I'm actually avoiding Fluff's story since I don't want any outside influences messing with my image of Mr. Satou in my head. I don't think 'douche' is what I was going for, though. I think douche is a better word for Jigoro. Mr. Satou is more of a straight asshole. He's mean, but he's not supposed to be mean in that totally unreasonable, uncalled-for manner. There's a reason behind his anger towards Akira that we'll be exploring across future chapters.
Guest Poster wrote:Yes, he owns it. Akira refers to it as "her family's company" and Lilly mentions that "my father's business has its headquarters in Scotland and an executive position became available for him there". What's very likely is that Lilly's grandfather used to run the company and when he retired, leadership was transferred over to Lilly's dad. (although he had to move to Scotland because head office moved there)
That's the general idea, yeah. It's a family legacy, essentially. I dunno if I explained it too well but basically, headquarters for the entire corporation was established in Inverness, where a branch would have already existed. Mr. Satou was already executive by that point in time, and the transfer as well as his circumstances for inheriting the position a few years prior are where a bit of bad blood between him and Jigoro would have emerged. I really, really wish I'd spent more time developing Jigoro in past chapters because while he doesn't play an integral role in what's going on right now, I think his history with Mr. Satou would've gone a long way in establishing more of him before he formally appeared in the story. I really don't like giving straight answers like this, but I feel like there's more confusion than speculation right now, which is more my fault to begin with. The move occurred while while Akira was a third year in high school, and Mr. Satou would have already been the CEO for a few years leading up to that.

By the way, Guest Poster, I love you. You always ask the difficult questions and point out the stuff no one else does.
Bad Apple wrote:Although you have heard this complaint before, I would still like to remind you of two errors you have yet corrected, in narrative form:

"One, continuing dialogue from the same character into a new paragraph without indicating so."
This is something I've been focusing on with the latest chapter, as well as trying to evolve my prose beyond clunky "X says, Y comments, Z asks, etc."
I've grown a lot since I first started, but it's faaaaaar from perfect, and I'm glad that there have been people on my back about grammar and prose structure the entire time.
muffinseal wrote:Akira and Hisao goin drinking again?
http://i.imgur.com/xpD6bcv.jpg
MAKE IT HAPPENN LOL
Oh god that's adorable.
Calconius wrote:What I initially meant to say was, it's been some time but God knows I'd love to see this come full circle into a finale.
I've been building towards the finale from day one, I believe. The outline has changed a few times along the way, but I don't think that the ending I have now is that far off from the ending I was shooting for in the very beginning.
I think my main goal is for it to be satisfying. I'm not gonna overextend myself and try to make something that will blow everyone's minds or anything like that. I think being humble is the only way to really tie up a story like this, especially since it's been so focused on the casual situations and humor as opposed to the strict drama.

Anyway, that's that. Thank you everyone for still following along and I'm sorry that I can't respond to every single comment. I'm going to have the next chapter out hopefully on Christmas day.

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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Guest Poster » Sun Dec 22, 2013 8:33 am

By the way, Guest Poster, I love you. You always ask the difficult questions and point out the stuff no one else does.
Probably by accident half the time. :lol: I have my own interpretation of Lilly's family and the stuff about the company is stuff I looked up and speculated on myself in the past, hence my comment.
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Triscuitable » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:11 am

Guest Poster wrote:
By the way, Guest Poster, I love you. You always ask the difficult questions and point out the stuff no one else does.
Probably by accident half the time. :lol: I have my own interpretation of Lilly's family and the stuff about the company is stuff I looked up and speculated on myself in the past, hence my comment.
You're an actual user? I've been confused for so long!

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Steinherz
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Steinherz » Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:01 am

Triscuitable wrote:
Guest Poster wrote:
By the way, Guest Poster, I love you. You always ask the difficult questions and point out the stuff no one else does.
Probably by accident half the time. :lol: I have my own interpretation of Lilly's family and the stuff about the company is stuff I looked up and speculated on myself in the past, hence my comment.
You're an actual user? I've been confused for so long!
Eh, uh, I.
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Triscuitable » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:02 am

Steinherz wrote:
Triscuitable wrote: You're an actual user? I've been confused for so long!
Eh, uh, I.
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Last edited by Silentcook on Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Don't quote images that were just posted, people...

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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Guest Poster » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:47 am

You're an actual user? I've been confused for so long!
I'm not sure if I understood that correctly. Were you actually asking whether I exist or not? :?
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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 11/20]

Post by Silentcook » Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:36 am

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