Hanako's Story (COMPLETED 18/08/2014)

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GoingSane
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by GoingSane » Tue Oct 16, 2012 8:53 am

Hey, I really like this take on Hanako's route and I just wanted to encourage you to keep going. Covering all the acts and keeping it interesting, when we basically know how the story is going to go is a pretty tall order.

Good stuff.

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Trivun
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by Trivun » Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:30 am

GoingSane wrote:Hey, I really like this take on Hanako's route and I just wanted to encourage you to keep going. Covering all the acts and keeping it interesting, when we basically know how the story is going to go is a pretty tall order.

Good stuff.
Why, thank you :D. If you stay tuned for the next chapter though, there's definitely something that I hope will be a lot more interesting, and very different, compared to what we see in the original story ;)
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Hisao&Hanako<3
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by Hisao&Hanako<3 » Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:14 am

I must say, this really is awesome. I've been through Hanako's story two times and I just can't get enough of her. Her story is so touching, so deep and emotional. I can't even bring myself to finish the game with any other girl! I've only had the game for just over a week now, but I still think it's pretty great. Perhaps eventually I'll try Lilly's story, although I also am trying to get my friend into the game and see which girl he ends up with. Keep up the great work, there's hardly a thing I would change.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by Dream » Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:18 pm

A truly excellent story. Certain parts of the narration really don't strike me as something that Hanako would say/think, but that nitpick aside, pretty much everything in this is remarkably well-done, it really gives a completely novel view of Hanako's route. Looking forward for more and interested in the "different something" you have planned for the next chapter.
"It is not reason, more or less furnished, but will that makes the world march"

"Unfortunately, if you can think of something really stupid, someone out there probably believes it." -Xanatos

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Trivun
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by Trivun » Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:08 pm

Dream wrote:A truly excellent story. Certain parts of the narration really don't strike me as something that Hanako would say/think, but that nitpick aside, pretty much everything in this is remarkably well-done, it really gives a completely novel view of Hanako's route. Looking forward for more and interested in the "different something" you have planned for the next chapter.
Hisao&Hanako<3 wrote:I must say, this really is awesome. I've been through Hanako's story two times and I just can't get enough of her. Her story is so touching, so deep and emotional. I can't even bring myself to finish the game with any other girl! I've only had the game for just over a week now, but I still think it's pretty great. Perhaps eventually I'll try Lilly's story, although I also am trying to get my friend into the game and see which girl he ends up with. Keep up the great work, there's hardly a thing I would change.
Thank you guys, I really appreciate the time you took to read it, and I'm pleased that you like it so far :D. I know it's been a good while coming, but the next chapter is finally finished too (the end of Act Two!), so I hope you enjoy it as much as you've enjoyed the rest of the story so far!

And I would recommend Lilly's route, Hisao&Hanako<3. It's well written anyway (as if there's a single arc that isn't...), but it also expands a lot of Hanako's character and allows her to open up without needing to pursue a relationship with Hisao, plus Lilly is a great character too (although only my third fvourite, below Hanako, and Emi in second - it is tough to decide between them all...)...
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 11/10/2012)

Post by Trivun » Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:27 pm

First of all, apologies for the very late posting of this chapter. Stuff came up that gave me much less time to write this past month, and so Hanako's Story had to take the backseat temporaraily. Hopefully now I have time to write again, things will be much better in terms of update times, and hopefully this next chapter is good enough to make up for the recent lack of activity. On a more important note, I would like to thank Guest Poster of these very forums for his permission in using one of his original characters for this chapter. Miss Yumi does not belong to me and is the creation of Guest Poster, and I am very grateful to him for allowing me to use the character as I have done. If you haven't done so already then I urge you all to check out Sisterhood, the work where Miss Yumi originates, and give him your support. It's definitely worth a read :).

Act 2 - Chapter Five: Not so Black and White

It's been two weeks since my last session with Miss Yumi. Two weeks as well since Hisao started at Yamaku. Last weekend was the festival, of course, so anything like therapy sessions and school activities were postponed to account for everyone being busy. As such, I've not had a chance to tell her about the recent... developments.

I'm still a bit anxious about seeing Miss Yumi now. Things became very awkward between us a while ago, just before Lilly came to live in the dorms here. I'd already seen Lilly around Yamaku but she used to live away from the school, with her sister Akira, so I didn't really know her then. I'd been having therapy for all my time here, but of all the therapists I'd seen Miss Yumi was the only one who really started to understand me. The only person I could bring myself to act naturally around. I still wouldn't open up to her properly, but we made so much more progress than I had ever done with anyone else. So naturally I thought that our professional relationship would progress into something closer to... well, to friendship.

The rejection hurt. I understood why she couldn't be my friend, her position as a therapist meant it would be, to use her own words, inappropriate. It wasn't that Miss Yumi didn't like me, nor that she didn't respect me, but simply that a friendship between us wouldn't ever be able to come to fruition. She told me then that “a good therapist will never try to become your friend, and a good friend will never try to become your therapist.” I didn't want to believe her at first, and it seemed like all the good work we'd done was regressing, like we were back at the beginning with no hope of improvement. She took a break from work then, so I had some time to think about things, which did help. Eventually we managed to gain that level of understanding again, but it was tough.

Lilly was a godsend then. She moved into the dormitories, a year ago now, taking the room of a girl next door to me who had not long moved out. She reminded me a lot of a younger Miss Yumi, or perhaps Miss Yumi reminds me of a much older Lilly. We quickly became friends – it helped that she was not only persistent, but also that Lilly couldn't see my scars. She did feel them eventually, after we became close and I began to open up to her a bit more. She asked my permission and I granted it, though with a great deal of reluctance. The shock on her face was very cleverly hidden, but I still sensed it there for a brief instant. Looking back, I don't think Lilly ever expected my scars to be as bad as they are, and she only felt the ones on my face and neck that time. Nevertheless, the presence of someone who I could call a real friend finally allowed me to move on from the embarrassment I suffered with my request to Miss Yumi.

It was months before we were back to normal, and even now I still regret it sometimes. Still, at least I know that she's only looking out for my best interests. It's hard, but I understand that she wants what's best for me, and will do everything she can to help me. That's all Miss Yumi wants. I still feel like the trust we had was broken, but maybe with more time, we can get it back...

I knock on the door to her office as always and wait for her reply. “Come in, please.” I enter the familiar scene. The room is decorated in the traditional style, less like an office and more like a sitting room. The desk is in the corner, tucked away as if it has no business disturbing the old-fashioned tranquillity here. In the centre a low table, usually hidden in a cupboard, is arranged with a pair of zabuton, one on either side, for us to sit. A Go board is already on the table and Miss Yumi's desk has a tea set ready for the usual ritual.

Miss Yumi herself is sitting on one of the zabuton, looking up at me as I gently close the door behind me. She's never told me much about herself, especially not her age, but she's a small woman somewhere in her fifties, with grey hair in a tight bun, a violet blouse (apparently she likes the colour) and a long, pleated dark skirt. It's very different to my previous therapists, both men who (truth be told) slightly intimidated me. Not through their action, of course, but rather through the impression they each gave me during our meetings. When I started seeing Miss Yumi, I felt much happier, since the 'old grandmother' approach certainly put me more at ease. After she rejected my friendship last year I wondered for a while if she was simply putting on an act, but as I've grown more accustomed to our sessions I've come to realise that maybe Miss Yumi really is like that to everyone, and not just me.

Either way, I can't say I enjoy our sessions each week, but at the same time I don't dislike seeing her. At least the sessions help me in some small way.

As I walk across to the low table, Miss Yumi rises and joins me, bowing slightly just as I do. “May I have the honour of getting you some tea, Miss Hanako?” she asks, the same words every week. I reply as I always do.

“I h-humbly accept, Miss Yumi.” She pours the tea and hands me a drinking bowl filled with sweet smelling liquid. As we sit, I sip gently from the bowl, savouring the taste, and place it to one side of the board, already prepared for our regular game. It's interesting that we play Go and not chess, but one of the very few things I've managed to find out about Miss Yumi during our sessions is that she happens to be something of an expert Go player. I get the feeling her reasons for not playing chess may have a little to do with skill, but more so something to do with my own feelings about the game. Nevertheless, it occasionally amuses me, the choice of our game, and indeed my usual pastime too. Black and white pieces fighting on a board in an endless struggle of wills. When really, as I've so often discovered (sometimes to my cost), nothing is ever so clearly defined after all.

“Well then, Miss Hanako,” she says, looking not at my scars, but into my eyes. “Shall we begin?”

“O-okay”.

We have an unspoken rule. Only the person whose turn it is may speak. I play as white, meaning that Miss Yumi starts first. Unlike in chess, the white player in Go takes the second turn rather than the beginning move.

“So, how have things been recently? It's been a while since our last visit.” She places her first stone near the centre of the board and waits patiently for my reply.

“I... um, I've been okay. H-how about you?” I ask from politeness more than actual curiosity. I know she won't tell me much, she never does. Miss Yumi is a therapist, after all, and a pretty poor one she'd make if she were to turn our sessions into discussions of her, rather than of me.

A brief pause as I carefully place my own first stone away from hers, in the top left corner quadrant. I don't expect to win, but just playing the game is enough. The amount of concentration I put in to playing, just like with chess, helps me take my mind off things.

“Things have been rather pleasant as of late. I trust you had a nice time last weekend?”

She's referring to the festival, of course. She makes her next move and I respond with just a hint of hesitation. “I... I didn't go. To the festival, I m-mean.”

“Really? That's a shame. I feel like you would have enjoyed meeting new people there.”

She isn't joking, though I wish she was. Ever since that day more than a year ago, Miss Yumi has done everything she can to encourage me, however subtly, to interact more with other people at Yamaku. She was more than a little pleased when I started hanging around with Lilly, and even more so when I told her about Akira and Yuuko too.

“I-I did see the fireworks... they were m-much better than last y-year...”

“Yes, I heard about the display last year. But where did you see them from, Miss Hanako?” Curiosity is clear in her voice, so I tell her.

“We w-went to the Shanghai... Me, Lilly and... someone else...” I don't know why I choose to refrain from mentioning Hisao by name. Possibly my nerves are simply too strong even here, in this calm setting with Miss Yumi opposite and the scent of tea drifting in the air.

She presses the subject though. “Someone else? My my, could it be then that you've found a new friend? I'm very pleased for you Miss Hanako, if indeed that's the case.”

On her face is a smile, and looking at her I can tell it's genuine. Indeed, Miss Yumi appears to be positively beaming with delight at the prospect of me making a new friend. It's enough to inspire me to tell her a bit more.

“H-his name is Hisao N-Nakai... he just transferred to Yamaku a fortnight a-ago, and he... he came and spoke to m-me in the l-library... he seemed nice, so w-we invited him for t-tea, and he played chess w-with me during the festival...” I suddenly realise that I'm speaking more than I usually do in our meetings, and oddly enough I'm opening up to Miss Yumi a lot more than normal. It's my time now to place a stone, so I quickly shut up and take my turn. Already the board is looking to be in Miss Yumi's favour, her control steadily growing with each black stone that appears, but I've improved massively over time. She once told me to look for openings when playing defensively, and take advantage of opportunities as they arise. With Hisao, I'm certain I've done that.

“Miss Hanako, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you've made a new friend. It's as I said before. I think that, with time, and with the support of good friends, you will be able to heal emotionally. This Hisao Nakai sounds like a kind and decent young man, and I'm sure he'll be a great help in your journey.”

Hearing Miss Yumi's approval makes me feel glad. I was a little worried about what she may think of him, but now it seems there was nothing to be concerned about. Even so, I have a question for her, but it's one that I'm much too shy to ask. I can't even ask Lilly what her thoughts would be, for fear of the response and the attitude to my query. Not to mention, the reaction of Lilly feels the same way I do...

“Miss Yumi... I, um... D-did you ever feel like there was... something y-you wanted to know... something you wanted to ask, b-but you couldn't d-do it?”

I quickly make my move so as to free the conversation for Miss Yumi to reply. By now I'm not as invested in the game, nor in the moves I make, wanting only for the conversation to continue without me needing to say much at all.

“Of course, Miss Hanako. I should think everyone feels that way sometimes. Though I suspect this may have something to do with yourself, correct?” She places another stone and captures an impressively large space, my lack of attention to the game clear for all to see.

“Y-yes, Miss Yumi.” I pause, uncertain of whether to continue. “T-the thing is... Did you ever have... feelings, t-that you... weren't sure about?”

I squirm a little in my seat, though I hope Miss Yumi didn't notice that. She gives no indication of whether or not she saw a thing, but as she ponders both her answer and her move I consider what would happen if I were to just get up and leave. I wouldn't do that out of respect and politeness, but it's not the first time I've had such thoughts.

“Hmmm... I think I can understand.” This time, she stops without placing a stone. The etiquette we both abide by prevents me from saying anything, as she thinks of something further to elaborate. “Miss Hanako, I know that we decided not to return to that... unpleasantness last year. I was pleased to see you making such good friends then, with Miss Satou and her sister. And Miss Yuuko too. But there is something I have to say that I said back then too.”

I'm tempted to call out “What? What did you say then?” But the silence lingers as I refrain from abandoning the rules we have abided by for so very long. Eventually, Miss Yumi speaks again.

“I told you then that the second most valuable gift you could give anyone was your friendship. I never said what the most valuable thing was.”

Another stone is placed and I can tell what she wants me to say. Her eyes are fixed on me, waiting for my response. “I... I d-don't know what you m-mean...”

Miss Yumi shakes her head at me, almost as if she's disappointed. That I would tell even such a tiny white lie. I know exactly what she means. I make my move quickly to avoid the demand to respond, and Miss Yumi sighs a little before continuing.

“I'm certain you know what I'm talking about, Miss Hanako. But I can't force you to admit it to yourself, nor to me. In any case, I'm truly happy for you. If you think so highly of this boy, Mister Nakai, then I can rest assured that not only is your progress continuing well, but that you really are allowing yourself to open up a bit more. That can only be a good thing.”

I realise that there's more to tell. I know that I have to be more honest to Miss Yumi as well as to myself if I want these sessions to have any meaning, and to actually do some good. “I... um, I... told him. About m-my scars...”

Saying it now, it doesn't seem like such a big deal. But Miss Yumi knows how much it would have meant at the time, and how difficult it was for me to bare myself emotionally to Hisao, especially after just two weeks. It took much longer than that for me to tell Lilly, after all. Miss Yumi was spared, since she had already seen my notes from the doctors. Even then, she still wanted to hear it from my own lips. It took two months before I was ready to say a word to her on the subject.

It's her turn now. My last move was hardly a great one, but there's no way I can concentrate on the game any more. “What was his reaction?” She places another piece and makes another capture.

“I... It was o-okay... he told me about h-his own...” I don't want to give away to Miss Yumi the exact reasons for Hisao being here, so I compromise a little. “He t-told me why he was at Yamaku.” My words are deliberately vague, but thankfully she chooses not to press the subject. I didn't really expect her to anyway. My next stone goes down. It's already clear I've lost the game by now, just as I always do, but it hardly matters to me. Chess is more my thing, after all.

“So he accepted you just as you are. And more than that, he opened up to you in the same way that you did with him. A friendship like that is a rare gift indeed, Miss Hanako. All the more remarkable for the very short time you seem to have known him.”

She pauses without making a move on the board. “It seems to me that you're nervous about showing your feelings, and that's something we've been struggling towards for the past year now. Not to mention Miss Satou's thoughts on the matter. Or, more likely perhaps, you aren't certain of your feelings yourself. Have you spoken to Miss Satou about any of this, Miss Hanako?”

She finally chooses a space to place another stone, and grants me the chance to speak. “N-not so much... I don't know how L-Lilly feels... I don't want t-to rock the boat...” I quickly make another move.

“If you don't say anything at all, then it doesn't help you in finding out how to proceed. Your choices, your feelings, matter a great deal, Miss Hanako. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Still, I can't force you to talk to Miss Satou if you aren't yet sure of yourself. All I ask is that you think about this discussion, and perhaps try to show a little more courage in pursuing what you want. Even if others are willing to allow you the freedom to do what you wish, you have to take advantage of the opportunity. I've said that before, yes?”

With her final move, Miss Yumi has easily beaten me yet again. Sometimes I think that if we were playing chess, the results would be very different. But with the restriction lifted on our speech, I can make my last comments before I leave.

“Y-yes, you have... Miss Yumi. I'll... think about it.”

“Very well. I feel like we've made some large strides this past fortnight, even if I haven't seen you until now. We'll meet again same time next Sunday, yes?”

“Y-yes, Miss Yumi.” We make our goodbyes, and I leave the room. As I walk back to the girls dormitory I start to take on board just what Miss Yumi was getting at near the end of our session. I doubt I'll be telling Lilly about my feelings, or rather, my potential feelings, anytime soon. It's not just the embarrassment, nor the fact that I barely know Hisao (and yet I feel like I can trust him after such a short time, just as Miss Yumi said). It's more the fear that Lilly may feel the same way. I know what I'm like, I know full well that if Lilly gave even the slightest hint of being interested in Hisao, I would never choose to pursue him. Assuming I had the courage to do so in the first place.

Something else that Miss Yumi and I didn't discuss, which will certainly be a topic of conversation in the next few sessions, is the fast approaching date that I always dread. Hisao has seen me at what passes for my best these past two weeks. He still has yet to see me at my worst. As I walk I try to keep my mind off the coming days, but I still continue to think about it despite my best efforts. I know that tonight, the nightmares will begin again.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Guest Poster » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:56 pm

I didn't really notice anything that felt off about your portrayal of the character, so kuddos for portraying her the way she was meant to be portrayed.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Dragenest » Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:15 am

Well first post ever, seems like a good enough place to put it.
All I want to say is that I think that even though your not the first person or the only person to have this idea, but I definitely think your a beast when to writing. Keep up the great work and you got my support on this fic.
Played every single route..... Now all I gotta do is wait a few months and then I can start fresh once again. :)

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Negativedarke » Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:29 pm

Time for my two cents.

Thus far this has been really good. It's interesting to see events from Hanako's POV. Thus far the charecters have felt true to what was in the game.

About Hanako's feelings. While it is true that she hates it when she feels that she's being coddled, or treated as a child by Hisao and Lily, it's not accurate to say that she feels that way all the time, or that it always makes her feel angry. In her bad end it was the resualt of a serous misstep on Hisao's part. Hanako doesn't like it, but i think that most of the time she's not feeling that she's being looked down on by them. Hence her much different breakdown in her good ending. Funny, I think Shizune is probably someone who wouldn't treat Hanako any different than anyone else.

I love how Hanako compares Hisao to Kenji when he says some of his more oddball or rambeling statements. Hisao would probably be horrified.

So your using parts of Sisterhood as cannon? I see Miss Yumi is here, and clearly Chapter Zero from that occured.

Well can anyone guess what scene from the game I'm most looking forward to seeing from Hanako's POV? Answer the Jazz club, when Hisao and Hanako were playing pool.

Keep up the good work.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Dream » Sun Nov 18, 2012 1:23 pm

I admit i was a bit uncertain of this next chapter that was going to deviate a bit from the main storyline, but i am pleasantly surprised. Your original chapter feels like something that would fit the VN perfectly. Characterization is accurate, the scene is original and interesting, and it certainly gives a light on certain elements of Hanako's route. Excellent work, as usual.

That said, i still haven't read "Sisterhood" So i don't know this Miss Yumi before hand. Hardly gets in the way of the enjoyment of the story though, mostly of course thanks to your introduction of her character. The part of Hanako thinking about her past and how she first met Lilly is really nice, too.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Trivun » Sun Nov 18, 2012 1:41 pm

Guest Poster wrote:I didn't really notice anything that felt off about your portrayal of the character, so kuddos for portraying her the way she was meant to be portrayed.
Thank you, that was a big concern of mine to be honest. I was writing her to try and stick as much as I could to how you wrote Miss Yumi in Sisterhood, plus keeping in mind what you mentioned in your message to me before, but until it was posted I couldn't be certain if I'd screwed up completely or managed to stick to how you see her enough. Ultimately I'm pleased that you seem to be happy with how she ended up in my own story, so thanks for letting me know :).
Dragenest wrote:Well first post ever, seems like a good enough place to put it.
All I want to say is that I think that even though your not the first person or the only person to have this idea, but I definitely think your a beast when to writing. Keep up the great work and you got my support on this fic.
Thank you to you as well, although I do kind of have a brief nit-pick here (not to belittle your post, and I am grateful for your support :D). When I started this I did have a look to see if anyone else had ever thought of a POV rewrite, and found nothing on the main KS fanfiction sites (namely, here and on Fanfiction.net), so I assumed I was the only person to consider the idea and actually go ahead and write it. One person did get in touch a while ago with a positive review, who mentioned he'd considered doing a Shizune POV rewrite though, so I hope he does follow through. It'd be nice to see other stories of this sort, and I'd be interested in seeing what other writers do to tackle the subject, whether I choose to do other rewrites further down the line or not.
Negativedarke wrote:Time for my two cents.

Thus far this has been really good. It's interesting to see events from Hanako's POV. Thus far the charecters have felt true to what was in the game.

About Hanako's feelings. While it is true that she hates it when she feels that she's being coddled, or treated as a child by Hisao and Lily, it's not accurate to say that she feels that way all the time, or that it always makes her feel angry. In her bad end it was the resualt of a serous misstep on Hisao's part. Hanako doesn't like it, but i think that most of the time she's not feeling that she's being looked down on by them. Hence her much different breakdown in her good ending. Funny, I think Shizune is probably someone who wouldn't treat Hanako any different than anyone else.

I love how Hanako compares Hisao to Kenji when he says some of his more oddball or rambeling statements. Hisao would probably be horrified.

So your using parts of Sisterhood as cannon? I see Miss Yumi is here, and clearly Chapter Zero from that occured.

Well can anyone guess what scene from the game I'm most looking forward to seeing from Hanako's POV? Answer the Jazz club, when Hisao and Hanako were playing pool.

Keep up the good work.
Another set of thanks to you, and more so for your constructive criticism :). A brief reply regarding the points you make - I do understand what you're saying about the way Hanako feels she's treated by Lilly and Hisao, though when I've been writing this I reckon mostly I have been adding those thoughts at times where I felt she would be thinking them. Maybe it is a bit too often though, so I'll try to keep what you say in mind when I come to write the future chapters. I agree on the Shizune thing as well, I reckon she would probably be decent friends with Hanako, but the rivalry between her and Lilly (not to mention Hanako's shyness) are pretty big barriers for them to overcome. Misha's natural loudness wouldn't help matters when translating, either xD. And yeah, Hisao would probably be somewhat concerned at the Kenji comparisons. When Hanako actually met Kenji in Act 1 in the actual game though, I knew I had to take full advantage of that ;D.

Regarding Sisterhood, I'm not really using anything there as canon per se, but rather I simply couldn't see Hanako's therapist as anyone other than Miss Yumi, after reading Sisterhood and enjoying it greatly. It felt like a natural fit, so I asked Guest Poster for permission to use the character, and he agreed. In a way I suppose you could consider this whole thing a prequel of sorts to Sisterhood (it wouldn't be the other way around as my story was posted later), but only in the sense that Sisterhood is effectively a sequel to Hanako's arc in the game and I'm rewriting that arc for this story - it makes sense then in a way, but otherwise I'm not really using Sisterhood as canon. I guess you could consider this chapter specifically as fanfiction of a fanfiction, on a meta level, so take from that what you will xD

And I'm also looking forward to writing the jazz club scene too. Truth be told I always thought even before that scene in the game that Hanako would, if she were a bit less shy, be the sort of person to enjoy jazz (well, jazz clubs, poetry readings, and generally a sort of bohemian style of life) - simply from the way she acts in the rare moments when her shyness isn't crippling her socially, and from the way she dresses outside school. Then again, maybe I'm just insane. Won't stop me from adding that way of thinking to the story though, if I can get away with it ;).
Dream wrote:I admit i was a bit uncertain of this next chapter that was going to deviate a bit from the main storyline, but i am pleasantly surprised. Your original chapter feels like something that would fit the VN perfectly. Characterization is accurate, the scene is original and interesting, and it certainly gives a light on certain elements of Hanako's route. Excellent work, as usual.

That said, i still haven't read "Sisterhood" So i don't know this Miss Yumi before hand. Hardly gets in the way of the enjoyment of the story though, mostly of course thanks to your introduction of her character. The part of Hanako thinking about her past and how she first met Lilly is really nice, too.
And finally, thanks to you too for your reply. You actually posted just as I was posting the rest of this comment, so I almost missed you, but again, I'm happy to see you're enjoying it all so far :). I wasn't quite sure how people would react to the difference in this chapter, but the response has been rather positive so far, so all is right in the world as far as I'm concerned :). In a way, this chapter has also helped me get a few thoughts of my own out that wouldn't have fitted as well in the main rewrite, but of course a Hanako POV fic needs to have at least one therapist scene in otherwise it wouldn't be as true to the character, when her therapy is an established part of the canon...
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Guest Poster » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:43 pm

Yah, Trivun asked me if I was okay with the use of the character and I said it was okay. He/she never brought up the idea of this fic being a specific prequel to Sisterhood...I'd frown on that because I'd probably start getting control-freaky if it was meant to tie 100% into Sisterhood. (for example, the last chapter mentioned Lilly knows what Hanako looks like...in Sisterhood she doesn't) As long as the idea isn't to synchronize the two stories, I'm not bothered by that kind of thing. I suggest not to try too hard to tie into Sisterhood's canon and just follow your own vision.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Trivun » Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:36 pm

Guest Poster wrote:Yah, Trivun asked me if I was okay with the use of the character and I said it was okay. He/she never brought up the idea of this fic being a specific prequel to Sisterhood...I'd frown on that because I'd probably start getting control-freaky if it was meant to tie 100% into Sisterhood. (for example, the last chapter mentioned Lilly knows what Hanako looks like...in Sisterhood she doesn't) As long as the idea isn't to synchronize the two stories, I'm not bothered by that kind of thing. I suggest not to try too hard to tie into Sisterhood's canon and just follow your own vision.
And on this we are agreed. All things considered, I wrote the story as a retelling of the game, but began long before I'd heard of Sisterhood and long before I decided to read it myself, so there was never any intention of creating a 'prequel' to Guest Poster's story - ultimately, Sisterhood is his creation, Hanako's Story is my own (based on the existing game), and that's how they should stay. Anyway, a fanfic of a fanfic would be a bit too meta, as I believe I mentioned before, even by my standards (and I'm writing a whole article on the meta-storytelling in KS for a gaming magazine, so I should normally be all in favour of meta-stuff xD). Also, I think I use the word meta too much. What? It just sounds nice...
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Trivun » Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:37 pm

And on that note, here's the next chapter! Sorry that it's been a long delay again, but hopefully it'll be worth it! Split into two though, for processors' sake...

Act 3 – Chapter One: King's Gambit Accepted (Part One)

It's been a few weeks now since I told Hisao about my scars. Every day brings us closer to the bad times, but even now I can't bring myself to tell him any more. I wonder sometimes if it's because I'm scared of his reaction, or because I'm still ashamed of feeling that way?

Miss Yumi is never much help around now. She tries, of course, and we discussed it during our last few sessions, but truth be told I'm surprised I've never had a breakdown during them. The nearer we get to that date, the harder it becomes for me, and the more closed off I become – as if it were possible for me to be more so. Anything that can take my mind off things will help now. There's still some time to go though, so I won't worry as much now as I will later. Until then, I'll seize anything to keep me occupied.

In a way, that's exactly what I'm doing now. Hisao and I have continued playing chess, with regular matches over lunch, but as the days have gone by and the troubles have edged nearer I've been losing myself more and more in the game. Miss Yumi noted last week, in fact, that I seem to be focusing more on our Go matches, and indeed I've been getting that bit better, though still nowhere near her level. At least Hisao is someone I can beat. “Mate.”

“Again... what does that make this? 3-2?” Hisao sighs and knocks his king over in defeat. A common sight now, even if he has won the occasional game. Rare, but still...

“S-stalemates don't count.” Which makes it one-nil to me.

“Damn. You're getting better at this every day.” I don't think so. Really, I was always pretty good. Our first game though, I think that I might have just been glad to have someone new to play with, and as a result didn't focus as much on the moves I was making. Which meant making plenty of rookie mistakes and falling back on my old defensive play style. Miss Yumi told me during one of our Go games that I should look for opportunities when playing defensively, and then take advantage of them. When I first played chess with Hisao, I regressed to the type of strategy I'd always relied on, missing those moments, and losing pretty badly. Now, I've returned to that more developed style, giving me more options and more ruses to use. Just one mistake from Hisao now is enough to turn the tide of the whole match, and I've gotten good at manipulating the board to create those opportunities. It's something I wish I could do away from the game, but I'm just not that type of person, I guess.

“Fancy another game?” Hisao asks, eagerness in his eyes. I wish I could, but I have some work to get done. It's not important and can definitely wait, but I know won't feel up to it later. If things are as bad as last year, locking myself in my room and skipping classes (and I'm certain they will be), then the more work I do now the better. Less to catch up on when I've recovered.

“I... I have to finish my homework...”

“Oh,” he says, sighing a little. “Well, I'll see you tomorrow then.”

I point at the teapot and cups on the table, still to be cleared away. “But... what about this...”

“Don't worry about that,I've got it.”

“Oh... okay...” I'm kind of glad I don't have to clean up, but it would have been nice to spend just a moment more with Hisao. Well, I guess it can't be helped. I have no more excuses to stay. “S-see you.”

“Later.”

I leave as Hisao continues clearing up the mess. Almost as soon as the door closes I notice Lilly walking towards the tearoom, her cane tapping against the side of the wall and on the floor ahead of her. “Lilly?”

“Ah, Hanako, is that you? I was just on my way to find you and Hisao. I wondered if you would care to take a trip to the Shanghai with me?”

“Um...” I pause briefly. I need to get this work done, but visiting the Shanghai would be fun, not to mention another excuse to keep my mind off things. “I... I was going t-to get some work... finished...”

She realises my intentions straight away. “You want to be prepared?” Her voice is low, as if she doesn't want anyone else to hear. Lilly's the only person aside from Miss Yumi and the Nurse who knows the reason for my situation around this time. Not even Akira knows to the extent that Lilly does, and even then Lilly isn't aware of the full story. She edges around the topic, not wanting to cause any undue pressure, but with that simple comment she's already shown her awareness of my reasons for working so hard.

“I... um, I was... I wanted to...”

“It's alright, Hanako. I understand. I won't bring it up if you don't want me to.”

“No, that's not... I just wanted t-to get it out of the way... if I miss classes again...” I've been pretty good recently, to be fair. Since opening up that time to Hisao, I've attended most of my lectures. Mutou-sensei has given his usual silent nod towards my leaving for each group project, but even then I've stayed, working alone, or more rarely with Hisao (provided he hasn't been snatched away by Shizune and Misha).

“That's fine, Hanako. It was just a suggestion, but if you feel like getting ready for later...”

“No! I-I want to... I can put it off j-just a l-little bit...”

“Are you quite sure?”

“I... I'm sure...” I'm not lying. The prospect of going to the Shanghai is more tempting than work. If I need to catch up later then so be it. Maybe I could use school work as makeshift therapy when I'm hiding away from the world, though somehow I doubt it will have any effect. As I consider this, the door opens again and a familiar figure walks into the corridor. Lilly's head turns towards the sound.

“Ah, Hisao...” I say to him. It's a little bit of a surprise that he's finished cleaning up so quickly, but more so I'm a little worried he may have heard part of the conversation, despite the closed door. If he did, he makes no signs of understanding what Lilly and I were discussing.

“Oh my, Hisao is here as well?” Presumably she was expecting to have to search for him, or ask me where he might be. It's lucky for her then that Hisao was with me anyway.

“Afternoon, Lilly,” he says. “What's up?”

“I was hoping,” she replies, “now that I've finished with my class representative duties for the day, that I might have the two of you accompany me for tea at the Shanghai. It would be nice to enjoy ourselves outside of the school, for a change.”

“I'd be up for it. I think Hanako had work to do, though...?” Hisao turns to me, as if to ask if I've changed my mind on the notes and exercises still to complete.

“I-it's... not all that much...” I say. It's interesting that I haven't stammered anywhere near as much since meeting Hisao, but as the dark days draw closer my speech is getting worse again.

“Wonderful. It seems that we're all decided then.” Lilly clasps her hands together and, taking up her cane again, turns to leave, Hisao and I following in her wake.
Last edited by Trivun on Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 13/11/2012)

Post by Trivun » Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:38 pm

Act 3 – Chapter One: King's Gambit Accepted (Part Two)

Given the time of day, the road to town is almost deserted. I don't need to hide my face anywhere near as much as usual, though I still hold on close to Lilly. It's not too long before we reach the traditionally styled wooden doors of the Shanghai. We enter to see an almost deserted scene – just how I like it. Lilly takes her arm back from mine for a brief moment to retract her cane, as Yuuko pops up from her usual hidey-hole.

“Welcome to the Shanghai! May I take your order?” She bows as always, even though she doesn't need to. Societal conventions aside, she knows us, and we're informal enough that the bow is unnecessary. Well, to everyone except Yuuko.

“Just tea, please,” says Lilly. “Hanako, Hisao?”

“I'll have a slice of pie and some coffee,” Hisao responds. That sounds nice, but I'm not exactly hungry, and I prefer tea to coffee anyway.

“Just... t-tea... please...”

“Coming right up. Please take any seat you wish, and I'll be back shortly.” With that, Yuuko stumbles across to the counter, a smile and a nod accompanying her, as the three of us walk to the nearest window seats available. I don't hide away for once this time, instead choosing to ignore the world around me. Part of it is increased confidence, perhaps due to Hisao's influence? The other part is that keeping my mind off the days to come means I'm focusing that bit less on what the people around me think. The one good thing to come out of everything, I suppose.

As we sit down, Hisao looks across the table with concern. “Are you okay, Lilly? You look tired.” She lowers her head with embarrassment written all over her face.

“Class representative work can be very tiring, considering that it often means dealing with the Student Council. Very tiring indeed.”

It doesn't take a genius to work out that by “Student Council”, what Lilly means is “her aggressive cousin and the loudest girl in Japan”. I'm a little curious about the work though, I must admit. Particularly how other people deal with it. “How... do the other representatives go?” I say quietly.

“Better than I, but not by much. Shizune is a harsh taskmaster no matter whom she deals with.” Sometimes I've wondered if the workload for Lilly is that bit higher, simply because of spite. Then again, it's not really hatred between Lilly and Shizune, more just a petty rivalry. Like a sibling thing, except between cousins instead. I wouldn't claim to know the details anyway, just that the pair aren't exactly best friends.

“It doesn't sound like you particularly relish the job,” Hisao says. “Why do you do it in the first place, if it's that bad?”

“Being a class representative is enjoyable, and I can deal with the responsibility well enough. It's just that the people involved are sometimes...” She doesn't continue, but I can guess what Lilly was going to say next. Whatever it was, it would be slightly out of character for her. Not to mention the kind of thing you don't generally hear in public, especially a place as nice and quiet as the Shanghai.

With the break in conversation, I take the chance to leave for the restroom without causing a stir. I need it anyway, but I could also do with the time alone. I tend to stay out of Shizune discussions, regardless of my personal feelings on the matter. Thinking certain thoughts is one thing, but I'm not the kind of person to get actively involved in the dispute, even if it's nothing more than talking behind Shizune's back - I had enough of that happening to me after I got my scars.

My intended disappearance doesn't go unnoticed, however, as I rise from my seat. “Hanako?” calls Lilly, turning in my general direction. She must have heard the chair moving back, or felt me next to her as I stood up.

“I'll... be back in a bit.” Avoiding any further questions, I leave and make my way to the restroom.

While I'm away from the others, I think about anything I can to keep my mind busy. I think about Shizune and the student council, about Mutou-sensei's lecture today, about the chess games, and even about more mundane things, like the mural on the wall near the dormitories. I was never one for art, but I still think it looks nice, if odd. When I finally return to the table, I find that Yuuko has already been and gone, and waste no time in drinking my tea. We talk about mundane topics as we rest, the conversation turning from the student council to our respective reading choices – far more interesting in my view.

“Hey Hanako,” Hisao asks. “I was just wondering... aside from chess and reading, do you have any hobbies or things you like doing?”

I pause, shocked at the question. What's brought this on? Why does Hisao want to know more about my interests? I steal a glance at Lilly, but she wears the same faint smile she had during our previous conversation. She's giving nothing away. Hesitantly, I reply.

“Um... I guess... I like singing a l-little. I'm okay with c-computers as well, but I... don't use them all that much.” Next to me, Lilly nods. She already knows this much, and a little more too. I suppose I've always kind of liked jazz, however strange that may seem. I don't own any albums or go to listen to it, but I've occasionally borrowed CDs and a player from Akira or (on very rare occasions) used the computer in the library to listen. I don't say any of this to Hisao though, more out of nerves than a desire to withhold information. “W-what about... y-y...”

“Me?” I nod at Hisao's comment, confirming his thoughts. “There's chess,” he says, “obviously, but also... hmm... there was soccer as well, though I can't really do that anymore. Reading, which I picked up in hospital... um...” It's starting to get a bit more awkward now. Maybe going down this path wasn't the best option after all. Lilly takes the opportunity to interject.

“It sounds as if you've picked up quite a few things since your accident.” I retreat into myself again, as always, trying subconsciously to avoid dealing with the situation, whereas Lilly tackles it head on to regain control of the circumstances. Not for control's sake, but for mine. Even so, I guess she and Shizune are more alike than either would care to admit.

As she finishes, a soft melody comes from Lilly's pocket. “Sorry...” she says, answering her phone.

“I-it's okay...” She walks a short distance away so as not to disturb Hisao and I.

“Must be nice to be popular.” I smile at Hisao's comment, but say nothing. I'd rather not talk right now. “It's nice and peaceful here,” he continues, eyes closed in rest. “I wonder what it'd be like to have grown up somewhere like this, rather than in the city.”

This slip of information is enough to pique my interest, despite my wishes to stay quiet. “Y-you come from the city?”

Hisao's eyes flicker open as he responds. “Yeah. You could say I was a city kid through and through.”

“I-It sounds like a lot changed...”

“It did. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it all, though. It's a bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one. You must've gone through something like this when you first arrived at Yamaku, right? I'd imagine most new students would.”

“N-not really...” I look away, a little unnerved. I'm not really sure how much to give away, how much to say to Hisao. It's true that I did feel something similar when I first came to Yamaku, but in a way I was also relieved. Finally, I would be among people whose situations were somewhat similar to my own. It wasn't long before I realised how naive I was being. Cliques and groups are as much a part of Yamaku as they are any other school. It didn't matter that there were other people here who had scars, or who had suffered through incidents like mine. They already had their friendships and groups that I wasn't a part of, and the formative years that I'd spent in the orphanage hadn't exactly helped my confidence or social skills. I ended up falling back to my old habits, just like when playing chess against Hisao that first time. It would be silly to say I'd improved over the past few years. Not by much, at any rate.

Before Hisao can probe any further, we overhear Lilly's conversation in the background. “But can't we deal with that on Monday? The fallout has hardly settled from the last... I understand. I'll try to talk her down. You know what she's like when she gets locked onto an idea... Yes, thank you. I'll talk to you later, then. Goodbye.”

She closes her phone and returns to us, but chooses not to sit down. Her face is positioned in our general direction, as if she can hear us breathing or something. I wonder what she was talking about, and who with, but before I can ask the question Hisao cuts in first.

“Need to go?”

“Unfortunately. Class representative work calls once again.” That explains that, then.

“I-I can come with you.” I've had fun, but being alone with Hisao would be a bit too much at the moment, after the conversation we sort-of just had.

“It's alright, Hanako. I'll just be going straight to the Student Council. There's no need to spoil a fine evening on my account. Besides, if you were to accompany me on my way back to the school, who would keep our poor Hisao company?”

As Lilly speaks I notice the hints of a very mischievous smile start to form on her lips. Her eyes are on me, even though she can't see me. She knows that I don't want to stay, and she's doing it anyway, damn her. I wonder how much she knows of my possible feelings in that regard? For Hisao, or not, either way she must know more than she's letting on. Otherwise, why have me stay here? I couldn't even go quietly with her, Lilly's hearing is too good, and she's not stupid. I give up.

“Okay...” My voice is timid as ever.

“I can join you for tea again later tonight, if you'd like. I may well need it.” I agree to meet her later, passing Lilly her cane, and she leaves enough money (despite Hisao's protestations) to pay her share of the tea and meal, before saying her goodbyes to Yuuko and the pair of us. As she heads out the door, I glance at Hisao, acutely aware of the silence between us. This is almost as bad as if he were asking more questions about my past. I want to open up to him, but the closer we get to that day, the harder it becomes.

“Want to order something else to keep us going?” he asks, filling the quiet. “We haven't had much of a dinner, after all.” That's something I can definitely get behind, and I nod with enthusiasm. Hisao looks across to Yuuko, who takes the hint and hurries over.

“Would you like something else?”

“I'll just have a sandwich special and a hot chocolate,” says Hisao. “Bit late for coffee by now. Hanako?”

“I-I'll... have the same...” I'm not massively hungry, but something to eat would still be good, and I'm not picky. Yuuko nods to us both and delivers another low bow, before turning on her heel and heading to the counter to prepare our order. Hisao and I sit in silence until she returns, bringing food and drink together with a smile. As Hisao begins to eat, I watch him, and start to fidget just a little.

“Not hungry?” I guess he noticed me. I shake my head to show him how wrong he is.

“I-it's not that.”

“Aw,” he replies. “I was all ready to have your share too.” I can't help but let a tiny smile creep out, but my heart isn't in it. As I study his face, I notice that there's something a little... off.

“You looked... t-troubled. I-is something... w-wrong?”

Hisao pauses for a second or two. “We're friends, right?” His comment catches me off guard, but in a way he's right. I hope we are, at least...

“Friends...” I hesitate, and wonder what I should say, before deciding to just come right out and be honest. Well, not totally honest, at least about my feelings... “I-I think t-that we are...”

He seems rather relieved. “I see...”

I hope he's relieved, at any rate. His actions, his tone, and his posture, all suggest so, but the words don't match up. Why did Lilly have to leave? I don't know how to deal with this situation. “A-am I wrong? S-sorry, I-I...”

“No, it's just... hearing confirmation of that from you is reassuring.” That's definitely a relief, at least for me, but he could have been a bit more direct. It would have been so much easier for me then! Hisao continues, “To pick up on what you said earlier: since coming to Yamaku, I've been a bit uneasy about how I should relate with others.” He chuckles a little before picking up his mug. I can't tell him, but Hisao's feelings are nothing new to me. I guess he's figured that out already. Except in my case, it's more than just unease. It's not as if Hisao has to see a therapist like I do, after all.

My thoughts are disturbed suddenly, as a cry of pain comes from the boy opposite me. “Ouch! That's hot...”

I giggle a little, thinking that maybe I should have at least told him that. Oh well, no time like the present. “Th-that's why... That's why I haven't eaten yet. I-I was waiting... for my drink to cool down first.” Fortunately Hisao doesn't seem to be annoyed at me for holding back the information. Not openly anyway.

“I guess I'll wait, then.” He puts his mug back down and we both start to laugh, softly and quietly. It's a little bizarre, but there's not much else we can do really. I don't feel like talking, and I think Hisao has figured that out by now. We don't say anything else as we finally finish our little meal, pay Yuuko the bill, and start the journey back to Yamaku.

When we finally get back to the campus, and the space between the male and female dormitories, the day's events catch up and I let out a little yawn, one I try (and fail) to stifle in front of Hisao. “I'd better be off to my room, then,” he says. “See you tomorrow, Hanako.”

“G-good night...” We both turn and walk towards our respective buildings, as I realise that I probably won't be having that tea meeting with Lilly that we agreed on. I'm not so sure she'll be back from her Council work anyway, if Shizune is involved again. Before I get too far away, though, I stop and turn back to face Hisao, watching as he leaves. Tonight was fun. It helped me keep my mind occupied, at least for a while, and although I wasn't exactly engaged in the conversation it was nice to learn a bit more about my new friend.

As I stop, Hisao also turns to look back at me, and I give a little wave, a rare and genuine smile upon my face. He smiles and waves back, before turning for the last time and walking away. I follow suit and begin the climb to my room, no doubt for the sole purpose of falling onto my bed and going straight to sleep. I'm scared, to be completely honest. I know tonight will be no different to every other night for the past few weeks, with nightmares and self-doubt racking my mind as I try to rest. What was a useful distraction earlier will have no effect when I'm asleep, and no matter what I do I can't focus on anything else again. I've been trying the relaxation techniques my therapist explained, and I've tried reading chess books before I sleep to give myself something else to think about, but it's no good at all. I reach my bed, undress and fall back onto the pillows. Morning takes a long time coming.
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