Hanako's Story (COMPLETED 18/08/2014)

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 24/12/2013)

Post by timetravelzero » Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:12 am

Trivun wrote:Definitely before the end of the following week though. I'll try and make it as soon as possible, but I don't want to rush through it :P
That is actually much sooner than I expected, thank you! No need to rush, quality over delivery date is always appreciated in my book.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 24/12/2013)

Post by Kitsune Spirit » Fri Jan 31, 2014 3:33 am

I read the bad ending first because I wanted to see how you handled her side of the confrontation. It was an interesting read, and I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it, but this shines a bright light on what people mean when they call Hisao a "white knight". He's too freaking dense to understand that the girl doesn't need saving. Someone once said that you don't go into a relationship for yourself, you do it for the other person. If you try to get into a relationship to feed your need of self-worth and to make yourself feel look better it will just end in disaster. And that's all Hisao is trying to do "look at me, I saved this girl from her demons, throw a parade in my honour and immortalize my deeds in song!"

I kinda got side-tracked there, but you did a good job writing Hanako's side of the story with the bad-end, and I kinda expected her to commit suicide or something at the end. She was definitely at the lowest possible depth on despair that it would be something she would consider as a good idea.

I am in no way a fan of the bad-ending for Hanako, she's like my favourite girl of the main-ones so her good ending is the one I like best; the neutral ending wasn't bad though, but the girl deserves some happiness. :)

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by Trivun » Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:55 am

Apologies to all that this is shorter than I hoped for. I read ahead to make sure I was following the game properly and realised too late that the next chapter is actually shorter than I remembered, cutting off at a certain point. Hence a slightly shorter chapter. I could have made this one longer and had essentially two chapters together, but decided not to as the split was pretty natural and I feel works better. At any rate, because of that the next chapter will hopefully be along sooner than I originally expected as well :)

Act 4 – Chapter Two, Third Branch: All The Things She Said

I feel stronger. As I open my eyes I can finally feel glad that the worst times have passed. It's not just that, though. Rather, it's more that I've coped better this year than I ever did before. Maybe it's because of his presence, though distant, keeping me calm and reminding me that there is still some small semblance of hope.

The nightmares came last night, there's no point in trying to deny them entry. Even then I felt as if I could fight back, as if I could finally take control of my own visions and feel as though my mind was my own again. I've never had that sense of strength or determination when wallowing in my own despair, and it was strange, yet almost familiar, as if I'd remembered how to fight rather than simply refusing to all these years. By remembering came the drive and will to succeed, and from that will came dominance. I pushed the darkness out, keeping only images of those who I didn't want by my side but still wanted the friendship, and indeed the respect, of, giving me the power to fight back and dare to dream of happier times.

Hisao never came last night. I sort of wanted him to, but then at the same time I didn't. I distinctly remember, almost like looking through frosted glass, considering in my own mind the contradictions that I constantly went through, arguing with myself whether I wanted him to show up or not. Still, in the end it didn't matter. It does make me wonder, however, whether or not his absence was because he doesn't want to be with me (in friendship or otherwise) after all, or if it's just as I hoped, that he wanted to give me the space I so desperately needed. I think I'll have to wait and see.

It's something I wouldn't have considered doing before, not for a few days at least, but today is my day to show that I can be stronger. I can be a better person than I once was. Although still lethargic, and with eyes still red from the tears before my newfound stamina arose, I swing both legs out from my bed, one after the other, and slowly push myself up. I put on a gown, venture to the empty corridor, and make my way to the bathroom. I relieve myself, I shower, I dress, eat, drink, do all the things that a normal person does in the morning, and finally make my way to class. The stares along the way are as piercing as ever, but I'm well trained in deflecting the blows of people's whispers and the sting of their glances, keeping my head low and my pace swift.

Finally, I reach the door of Class 3-3, reaching out I grasp the handle and pull down. Most of the class are already here and I bow my head low as I enter the room, though I can't avoid noticing a brief look from Hisao as I walk along. His eyes are fixed for a few seconds, at which I blush and look away, focused on making my way to my usual seat. To his credit, he quickly stops staring and turns back to the girl he's currently talking to, who I already recognise as Miki Miura. I know her a little from... well, let's just say certain events some time ago. It's embarrassing to feel her eyes on the back of my head, though I know from previous experience that there's no malice in the gesture. Rather the opposite, in fact. At any rate I know that even while she's chatting happily to Hisao, I don't need to feel any jealousy towards her, unlike most of the girls in the class...

As I sit down I hear someone call Miki's name from the door. I recognise the face, even if I don't know the voice – I've seen him around the school often enough, dressed in the kit of the track captain. Of course, he and Miki have a bit more in common than just running. Hisao and Miki say their goodbyes and in the corner of my eye I notice her walking across to her other friends, even as Hisao starts to proceed in my direction. I do what would have once seemed impossible, just a few short weeks ago, and take the initiative. “H-hello...”

“Hi, Hanako. What's up?”

“N-nothing...” Well, this is a good start. I find myself unable to continue, not out of fear but more out of nerves, and lack of practice in social niceties even with Hisao. I have no idea what to say next.

Fortunately, Hisao takes the lead again. “Want to come with me and grab something from the cafeteria? I'm pretty hungry.”

I don't want to say no, but I have not long eaten myself. Besides, he did tell Miki he was working on some maths problems. Not to mention my own thoughts at going back out there, into the crowds of students, so soon after arriving in the relative safety of the classroom. “But... I thought you were studying?”

“After being distracted by Miki, I don't think I'm going to get any work done. Come on, let's go.” It's not said in a forceful way, more as a friendly suggestion despite the working, and I must admit he has a point. I know better than most how tough it can be to get back into reading or studying after you've been dragged from your reverie, and as for my own issue, after building up the courage to come out here today (so soon!) I can't really make excuses and refuse to face the world again. Every bit of progress I've made recently would be undermined by that one simple move. It's almost like a game of chess, building up strategies and carefully positioning pieces only to have a single wrong move wipe out the entire network of plans. Even if my analogy does make me sound more manipulative than I could ever hope to be in real life.

Baby steps, but every baby becomes bigger, and needs to learn to run one day. Better to try sooner rather than later. That shocks me, as I wouldn't have even entertained the thought even a few days ago, let alone weeks or even months. How have I managed to progress so far in such a short space of time? Has Hisao really had such a positive and profound influence on me, greater than anyone previously?

Could this be... what I hoped for all along?
Last edited by Trivun on Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by bhtooefr » Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:06 am

Trivun wrote:To his credit, he quickly stops staring and turns back to the girl he's currently talking to, who I already recognise as Miki Miura. I know her a little from... well, let's just say certain events some time ago. It's embarrassing to feel her eyes on the back of my head, though I know from previous experience that there's no malice in the gesture. Rather the opposite, in fact. At any rate I know that even while she's chatting happily to Hisao, I don't need to feel any jealousy towards her, unlike most of the girls in the class...

As I sit down I hear someone call Miki's name from the door. I recognise the face, even if I don't know the voice – I've seen him around the school often enough, dressed in the kit of the track captain. Of course, he and Miki have a bit more in common than just running.
Heh.

I'm just curious how far those "certain events" went. ;P (I'm of the opinion that Hanako may have even had her first time with Miki. She seemed oddly confident about the whole "all of me" thing working, which tells me that it worked before, or she got the idea from Miki.)
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by Trivun » Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:16 am

bhtooefr wrote:
Trivun wrote:To his credit, he quickly stops staring and turns back to the girl he's currently talking to, who I already recognise as Miki Miura. I know her a little from... well, let's just say certain events some time ago. It's embarrassing to feel her eyes on the back of my head, though I know from previous experience that there's no malice in the gesture. Rather the opposite, in fact. At any rate I know that even while she's chatting happily to Hisao, I don't need to feel any jealousy towards her, unlike most of the girls in the class...

As I sit down I hear someone call Miki's name from the door. I recognise the face, even if I don't know the voice – I've seen him around the school often enough, dressed in the kit of the track captain. Of course, he and Miki have a bit more in common than just running.
Heh.

I'm just curious how far those "certain events" went. ;P (I'm of the opinion that Hanako may have even had her first time with Miki. She seemed oddly confident about the whole "all of me" thing working, which tells me that it worked before, or she got the idea from Miki.)
My original plan was to make it more subtle, then the original VN script intervened. I only really stuck it in because I saw it referenced as a fan theory elsewhere (one of the general discussion threads here actually), but I wasn't expecting a comment on that specific thing so soon xD
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by Guest Poster » Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:12 pm

I'm just curious how far those "certain events" went. ;P (I'm of the opinion that Hanako may have even had her first time with Miki. She seemed oddly confident about the whole "all of me" thing working, which tells me that it worked before, or she got the idea from Miki.)
That does clash in a major way with the scene at the track where Miki and Hisao talk about Hanako in the VN, doncha think? I think that theory is definitely more wish-fulfillment than grounded in anything the game hints at.

Anyway, I always figured that Miki, like Lilly, Yuuko and that waitress in town, was yet another person Hanako considered a potential rival if she didn't move quickly enough. She's essentially just about everything that Hanako isn't...which I'd wager would make Hanako a bit insecure.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:49 pm

I think those 'certain events' were probably just Miki hitting on Hanako. I seem to remember a story from Miki's perspective where she did just that before she knew just how shy Hanako was, and scaring her off.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by Trivun » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:37 pm

Guest Poster wrote:
I'm just curious how far those "certain events" went. ;P (I'm of the opinion that Hanako may have even had her first time with Miki. She seemed oddly confident about the whole "all of me" thing working, which tells me that it worked before, or she got the idea from Miki.)
That does clash in a major way with the scene at the track where Miki and Hisao talk about Hanako in the VN, doncha think? I think that theory is definitely more wish-fulfillment than grounded in anything the game hints at.

Anyway, I always figured that Miki, like Lilly, Yuuko and that waitress in town, was yet another person Hanako considered a potential rival if she didn't move quickly enough. She's essentially just about everything that Hanako isn't...which I'd wager would make Hanako a bit insecure.
To be completely fair, I tried to leave it up to the reader to decide what those 'certain events' are - since canon-wise we know very little about Miki, nor indeed about the track captain, it's interesting to see what I can get away with in a fanfiction setting. Plus, nowhere do I directly make any suggestions whatsoever as to the... leanings... (ahem) of Hanako. The way I interpreted things here was that she would have a bit of a high at being able to overcome her demons enough to return to class the day after her birthday, rather than several days later as its implied elsewhere in the game. So maybe she would be perfectly reasonable towards Hisao talking to other girls aside from herself, Lilly and Akira/Yuuko (bear in mind too that she never shows any signs of jealousy, at least outwardly, in the VN to Hisao chatting with Shizune or Misha, despite Shizune having her own path which Miki certainly doesn't have). It was a tough scene to find much of Hanako's own thoughts though, since it was so short in the VN (and thus so short here).

Then again, it's all moot anyway as everyone's fan interpretation is equally valid and equally invalid at the same time. It's all down to how we interpret things ourselves, and the paragraph I added was just a little nod to some of these fan theories, but everyone is free to disagree :).
AntonSlavik020 wrote:I think those 'certain events' were probably just Miki hitting on Hanako. I seem to remember a story from Miki's perspective where she did just that before she knew just how shy Hanako was, and scaring her off.
That being said, this is a pretty valid thought as well, judging by fanon rather than canon ;)
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by Deadpool021 » Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:18 pm

You're doing a really good job portraying the story from Hanako's point of view. Keep up the good writing

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2013)

Post by timetravelzero » Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:25 pm

Trivun wrote:Could this be... what I hoped for all along?
YES! Oh sweet salty christ, I'm practically vibrating in place in anticipation of the next chapter. Your writing style and characterization of Hanako is fantastic as always. Thank you for putting so much effort into this, Trivun. I for one greatly appreciate it.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by Trivun » Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:22 am

Deadpool021 wrote:You're doing a really good job portraying the story from Hanako's point of view. Keep up the good writing
Thank you, I hope I can keep it up too :D
timetravelzero wrote:
Trivun wrote:Could this be... what I hoped for all along?
YES! Oh sweet salty christ, I'm practically vibrating in place in anticipation of the next chapter. Your writing style and characterization of Hanako is fantastic as always. Thank you for putting so much effort into this, Trivun. I for one greatly appreciate it.
Thanks, and hopefully the next chapter will be pretty soon in the coming :). Also, am I wrong, or is your avatar 'Lesbian BLU Spy Akira hitting on RED Pyro Hanako'? Rather an apt choice for the two jobs, I must say... xD
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by bhtooefr » Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:58 am

It's on the Shimmie: http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/v ... ko%20akira

And I don't think it's just Akira hitting on Hanako - sure, Hanako's surprised, but look where her hands are.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by Trivun » Wed Feb 05, 2014 10:33 am

bhtooefr wrote:It's on the Shimmie: http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/v ... ko%20akira

And I don't think it's just Akira hitting on Hanako - sure, Hanako's surprised, but look where her hands are.
Can't see the full thing since I'm at work and the Shimmie is blocked by our server, but looking closer at the avatar pic I can see where you're coming from...
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by Sea » Wed Feb 05, 2014 10:57 pm

Trivun wrote:
bhtooefr wrote:It's on the Shimmie: http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/v ... ko%20akira

And I don't think it's just Akira hitting on Hanako - sure, Hanako's surprised, but look where her hands are.
Can't see the full thing since I'm at work and the Shimmie is blocked by our server, but looking closer at the avatar pic I can see where you're coming from...
I'll probably get temp banned for saying this and thrown in the deep dungeons where the bad things are but somebody needs to write out events up to that point, . . . . . and after :wink:
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 04/02/2014)

Post by NekoDude » Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:48 pm

Aww crap, I posted to the wrong thread... but...
Sea wrote:I'll probably get temp banned for saying this and thrown in the deep dungeons where the bad things are but somebody needs to write out events up to that point, . . . . . and after :wink:
Well it's not TF2-based, just a more or less normal-KS-world scenario, but someone is writing such a tale (and it's not me, I just know about it). Also, Neko isn't the only bisexual girl in my story either...
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