Hanako's Story (COMPLETED 18/08/2014)

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Steinherz
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Steinherz » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:37 am

Xaverius wrote:Oh, sorry. I'm a writer too, for another forums, and I wasn't aware that this one has rules agaisnt that, it's common place there. Won't do that again.

Still people being eager to read more from you is something I'd take as a compliment.
Yeah, there's rules against that. Although it's more to keep people from getting annoying about when the next part will come out.
But you are correct, if you get people to want you to put out more of your writing you've created a good story :lol:
I write take a look, would you kindly?
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Dream » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:44 pm

Steinherz wrote:
Xaverius wrote:Oh, sorry. I'm a writer too, for another forums, and I wasn't aware that this one has rules agaisnt that, it's common place there. Won't do that again.

Still people being eager to read more from you is something I'd take as a compliment.
Yeah, there's rules against that. Although it's more to keep people from getting annoying about when the next part will come out.
But you are correct, if you get people to want you to put out more of your writing you've created a good story :lol:
KS fans can be pretty annoying, after all.

And yeah, it sounds like Trivun has been really busy lately, so it's no surprise he has been taking some time for other things.
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Steinherz
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Steinherz » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:54 pm

Dream wrote:
Steinherz wrote:Yeah, there's rules against that. Although it's more to keep people from getting annoying about when the next part will come out.
But you are correct, if you get people to want you to put out more of your writing you've created a good story :lol:
KS fans can be pretty annoying, after all.

And yeah, it sounds like Trivun has been really busy lately, so it's no surprise he has been taking some time for other things.
FTFY :D
This made me remember, I need to stop procrastinating and get back to writing my (two!) fics :lol:
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

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Trivun
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Trivun » Tue Mar 26, 2013 7:25 pm

Wow, seems like I've stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest here with my lack of a recent update! First though, sorry to not reply personally to everyone, but thanks to all who've provided reviews of my latest chapter (whether positive or negative, though almost all the former I'm grateful and happy to see!). It's still really appreciated, as it gives me a motivation to carry on this story even when I know I'm rather lacklustre in my schedule (or lack thereof) of updates.

Moving on, then, to that point, I have to say I agree with this site's rules about not asking authors when to expect updates - reason being not that I don't want to give an answer (if that were the case I wouldn't bother with this post), but because in some cases it can be annoying, whether there is a genuine reason for any delay or not, and it can put the author off writing for even longer. I had that experience myself with another story a few years ago and ended up on hiatus for six months (this was a Halo fanfic that wasn't exactly great anyway, but it's completed now in any case and posted elsewhere on the internet). I do want to answer though, and I am really glad that people like my work enough to want to break the rules to ask for updates. It is pretty great to know my work is enjoyed enough for that, and also I do see it as a compliment towards me (and hopefully also to the KS developers without whom my own story wouldn't exist).

To answer, then, I'm hopeful that a new chapter will be up by Monday at the latest, though I can't guarantee anything. The thing is, I am more busy now than I used to be, working full time, but on another note it's also an issue that I haven't really discussed before, and I hope you can all forgive me for this. In general, whenever I'm working on a creative project (be it writing, film-making, my old AMVs for Youtube when I was younger, or anything else), I have a habit of alternating between moments of unfettered creativity and times of complete apathy. There are points when I won't want to work at all, and others where I'll sit down for several hours and just do nothing but write, or whatever else I'm trying to accomplish. Where the trouble is here is that I've been in one of these slumps for quite a while now and there have only been a few moments when I've been free to write and willing and able to do it to my own levels of quality that I try to hold all my work against - meaning longer periods where I've done no work on Hanako's Story whatsoever. It's a bit like writer's block, I suppose, but not exactly easy to justify even to myself.

The good news is that I'm trying to get out of this, even if it means forcing myself to write things (not KS-related stuff, usually my other, original, work) so I can break out of the routine, and get those creative moments to come more frequently and update more often. If I can just get to a three-week schedule instead of the current monthly updates I'll be a lot happier, and if I can get something out this weekend that'll be just under three weeks since the last update - it helps that it's a four day weekend for me, as I work in construction (on the commercial side) and we have Good Friday and Easter Monday off, meaning more time for me to sit down and push myself to write. As well as more time to edit and scrutinise whatever I do write (which may be more necessary if I'm having to push myself to update this).

I won't be giving up on this story, don't get me wrong. I love writing Hanako's Story, I love the character and the plot and the actual task of getting it all written and uploaded here and elsewhere, and I want to finish it as I always said I would. It's just that sometimes the motivation isn't quite there, something I reckon many of you will also feel and understand as fellow writers. Here's hoping I can get some more work done over the next few days, and if there isn't an update by next Monday evening (UK time), and ideally a lot sooner, then feel free to track me down using my IP address and lynch me. Make sure you leave my corpse presentable though... xD
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Negativedarke » Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:57 pm

Oh relax. Nobody would Lynch you. Then we'd never get any new chapters. We'd just torture you for a bit.

And don't worry, I understand how it is when making fan projects.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by TARDISman85 » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:20 pm

I'd be an absolute hypocrite if I called you on that, I've been in a similar mode for an LP I've been doing and my co-commentator's getting a little impatient about it. I hate that kinda feeling but it's always best to just let it pass.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Trivun » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:34 pm

So, here it is, as promised, the next chapter of Hanako's Story! It's another short one again, so apologies, but there's a good reason for that - the chapter in the VN ends here and the next segment is what you've all been waiting for... Hanako's birthday party! I did consider adding that to the end of this but instead I decided that instead of writing a single super-long chapter I'd rather have a shorter one with the build-up, and give the party its own chapter from scratch. So I'll try and get that out within a few weeks, though no gurantees - considering the next chapter will be much longer, and given my propensity for delays, it might be a bit of a wait. I'll endeavour to make that wait as short as possible, though :).

Act 3 – Chapter Five: White Knight Sacrifice

I avoid lessons the next day. I don't feel up to it, I don't want to go down there and face the stares and the judgement from everyone, people harassing me and asking what happened yesterday. Not to mention I was advised to stay in by Miss Yumi. Normally she tries to get me out there, talking to people, making some effort to get past my issues, but she's nothing if not tactful. I wonder why she even tries to help me? It's just a job for her, surely? Again I find myself torn in two. On the one hand, I don't feel like anybody should bother trying to help me, as if I actually deserve the sympathy or the aid. On the other hand, I want to be helped. I want people to be there for me. When the times are less hard, when everything is calm then I can find some balance, and I can feel as if, for once, I do deserve the support given by those few who care. It's all I want. When we move closer to the tough times, though, and breakdowns like this become commonplace, I find it so much more difficult to cope and find the common ground. My despair triumphs over my hope, and all that's left is darkness.

A void in my heart and screaming in my head.

I find myself sleeping in, unable to wake from the noise in my mind. My own voice muffled by the confines of my brain, no physical thing, but a purely mental torture. When I do finally wake up, I stare at the ceiling. After a while, I take a shower, taking advantage of the fact that everyone is in lessons, but when I return to my room wearing my dressing gown I return immediately to bed. No food in my stomach, nor water, my body fights against me but I can barely force myself out of bed to find something to eat or drink. I'm given no motivation to do so, until I hear a faint knocking on the very edge of hearing.

A pause. I wait in silence. The knocking comes again.

This time it's louder, just a little. I try to get up as the sound gradually increases in volume, but when I finally place my feet on the floor the knocking stops.

I stagger across to the door, hoping against hope that whoever it is hasn't left. I'm in two minds – it might be Lilly or Hisao, in which case I want to see them. I want something to take my mind away from all this, to reassure me that everything will be fine. However, it could just as easily be one of my neighbours, or other classmates, wanting the latest gossip on my condition. I couldn't face that. Chances are higher to be the former, though, so I want to see. If only the faculty would let me install a peephole on my door! Things would be a bit easier, perhaps...

I reach the door and open it just a crack. In the corridor stands a young man with a slight smile on his face. My heart misses a beat, just once, and I feel a little relieved. Maybe it would have been better for me if he'd not come at all. Then again, I'm finally out of bed. I try to hide my hunger pangs and thirst (I have snacks and water in my room to keep me going anyway – after the previous years I've learned preparation is key), as I watch his face through the opening.

We're both silent for a while. I'm waiting for him to speak, lost at the same time in my own thoughts. Hisao doesn't say a word, however, and I can only assume he's waiting for the same thing. We each expect the other to begin our conversation, yet neither of us can bring ourselves to do so. Eventually I move away from the door, wondering what he must be thinking now – does he believe I'm simply leaving him out there, about to shut him out again? If so, I must be surprising him now, as I pull the door open a bit more.

He can see me fully now, my pink silk dressing gown, my hair still damp from the shower. I can't help but wonder why he's really here? I don't want to speculate, but after yesterday I feel like I can barely talk to him. Not because I don't want to. This is one of my rarer moments in these troubled times, when I feel calm and lucid. My tears have run out, my nightmares are limited to when I sleep, and now I'm awake I can look around me and try to come to some semblance of normality. I'm not saying it's not difficult. It's tougher than anything else I've ever done. But I've been fighting this for half my life, and now with Lilly and Hisao I feel like maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get through it. At least, I felt that way until yesterday morning, and less so when I found out that Lilly would be leaving for a fortnight. I still don't know Hisao well enough to deal with this so easily, as if it was ever easy, and I know that right now, we just don't really have a clue what to say to each other.

Hisao steps inside my room and closes the door behind him. I fiddle with my gown, weaving my fingers in the folds in my nervousness. I realise he's not going to say anything, and in a moment of clarity that surprises even myself, I speak instead. “Why...”

A simple comment, but it's enough to break a fragment of the iceberg building between us. “Because... uh... I uh... I... um...” He sighs as he finishes stammering. His speech now is worse than even mine at my worst. He continues: “I don't know. I just... wanted to see you, I guess.”

I stop fidgeting and look up at his face. The look of concern, coupled with the worry and hint of surprise in Hisao's face, warms my heart a tiny bit. I feel a little better, and smile, nodding just once. “Um...” I start, “since you're here...”

How can I say this? Maybe we can get some degree of normality here. “I'd like to... play a game of chess with you...”

I've finally let him in. It's taken me so long, the build-up crumbling to pieces at the slightest provocation, but it was worth it for this moment. “It would be my pleasure,” comes the reply, with a smile to match my own. I fetch a board from the cupboard, one of my very few personal possessions, and set a game up on the floor. The smiles continue as we start to play...
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Negativedarke » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:54 pm

This was a nice chapter. Hanako's thoughts when she shuts herself behind the door have always been something you both wonder a bit about and fear. It does seem like she'd be torn between being afraid and wanting to see Hisao and Lilly. I think that her deciding to let Hisao in was a big step for her.

Of course I can perfectly understand wanting to give enough focus and attention to Hanako's birthday party. That is one of the most signifigant events in her route. Indeed the only things that might top it are the endings, and even then it's hard to say.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:58 am

Out of curiosity, do you plan on doing any of the other routes when this one is done? While Hanako is my favorite, I would enjoy the other routes done this way too.
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by pandaphil » Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:24 pm

I agree. Whats going through her head and why she locks herself away on her birthday is something I've been struggling to figure out as well.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Trivun » Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:05 pm

Negativedarke wrote:This was a nice chapter. Hanako's thoughts when she shuts herself behind the door have always been something you both wonder a bit about and fear. It does seem like she'd be torn between being afraid and wanting to see Hisao and Lilly. I think that her deciding to let Hisao in was a big step for her.

Of course I can perfectly understand wanting to give enough focus and attention to Hanako's birthday party. That is one of the most signifigant events in her route. Indeed the only things that might top it are the endings, and even then it's hard to say.
Yeah, to be honest a large part of the start of this chapter was also an attempt to try and reconcile my own thoughts on Hanako's behaviour and emotions with those of other people who keep saying they see her in a different way after reading my story. I suppose I wasn't exactly subtle, but it's Hanako's thoughts and sometimes she is subtle, sometimes she isn't ;D. I guess I just don't see her as being quite as vulnerable as everyone else seems to think, she just appears that way, but not everyone agrees with my idea (which is perfectly fine, after all it'd be boring if everyone agreed and there was no debate on the subject xD). And yes, the significance of the birthday party is a key thing in Hanako's route, though I also plan to steadily show her becoming more drunk (though it won't be for comedic purposes, I'm warning you all now - I want to take a logical and sensible approach to how the alcohol would affect Hanako's inhibitions, and her growing feelings for Hisao - you know, just like in the original VN...), and that just wouldn't have fit alongside this chapter's awkwardness between the two.
AntonSlavik020 wrote:Out of curiosity, do you plan on doing any of the other routes when this one is done? While Hanako is my favorite, I would enjoy the other routes done this way too.
I'm sorry to say I probably won't do any other routes after this, I'm afraid. I did originally plan to, back when I started writing Hanako's Story, but that was when I thought it would take a few months and I'd be able to get two or three stories done in a year. It's no roughly nine months since I started Hanako's Story and we're only about 2/3 of the way through, if that (possibly even less, in fact). And Hanako's route is one of the shorter ones in the game. It would take much too long even without the constant update delays to write the other arcs, and I want to move on to other projects when this is done as well. I have an idea for my own game that I'm currently developing the story for in my head (I'll probably start writing the outline and trying to recruit people to help develop the game in the near future, when I have a handle on Hanako's Story updates) - incidentally, if anyone here is a programmer, or an artist, or has experience with Unity and wants to help, then please let me know! - and a few short screenplays that I want to work on, too. I do want to write for the other arcs, but sadly I just won't have the time, nor the required level of commitment, that such a project would require and deserve.
pandaphil wrote:I agree. Whats going through her head and why she locks herself away on her birthday is something I've been struggling to figure out as well.
Well, hopefully I'm shedding a bit of light for you! At least, based on my own theories and thoughts, which as I say seem to be shared by some and not shared so much by others... :P
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by TARDISman85 » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:27 pm

Not gonna lie I'm actually on edge about what route you're going to use as the "true" ending.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Trivun » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:35 am

TARDISman85 wrote:Not gonna lie I'm actually on edge about what route you're going to use as the "true" ending.
No ending is going to be a 'true' ending any more than any other, all endings are equally canon as far as I'm concerned and I'll simply be writing all three, just in no particular order. Not much need to be on edge here, I'm afraid :P
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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by TARDISman85 » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:06 pm

Alrighty then, cool I'm just gonna skip all the endings save the good one because I'm a bit of a wuss like that. I've got 95% complete on my game because apart from Rin's fight end, I haven't done any of the bad endings.

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Re: Hanako's Story (UPDATED 10/03/2013)

Post by Hoitash » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:28 pm

TARDISman85 wrote:Alrighty then, cool I'm just gonna skip all the endings save the good one because I'm a bit of a wuss like that. I've got 95% complete on my game because apart from Rin's fight end, I haven't done any of the bad endings.
Same here, cept replace the extra Rin end with Slow Recovery.

Although reading the other endings from Hanako's perspective would certainly be an intriguing character examination and literary experience.

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