Staggering Harmony - (A2,S15 Updated 12/30/15)

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Zykes
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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by Zykes » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:21 pm

Scene 5 Course Correction

Ding...ding…ding…ding…

The end of class came just as quickly as it began, as I realize I’m distracted. The math equation on the board seems more like another language at this point.

A long, loud yawn comes out of me, which could make almost anyone feel just as tired.

I guess the medication is wearing off…

Shizune and Misha stand in front of my desk, clearly wanting to discuss something.

"This is the second time that you've been day dreaming during class, Hiroshi. Are you properly resting at night?" it is clearly Shizune scolding me, based on the choice of words.

I don't say anything at first as I reach into my bag to grab my medicine.

With all the time I was gone, I can't even remember if I had explained my condition to either of them, though I was not in a position to have a long conversation anyway.

A simple nod is all I give as a response. She, however, doesn't accept it at just that.

There is a short time where Misha and Shizune just sign to each other, so I figure that whatever she has to say is not small.

"I understand you are trying to push yourself since you've come back, but you shouldn't over-exert yourself. You don't want a repeat of what happened a month ago," the way Misha speaks does not give it the proper emotion that is coming off of Shizune's face.

I wave off the concern, not that I don't feel the same uneasiness, but I don't want anyone to dwell on it.

"It'll be fine, I am doing my best to stay well rested…," though this is true, it feels like all the effort I put in is wasted.

Shizune snaps back with a quick response, as if she was prepared for a reply.

"We already lost Hiroshi once, we don't want to go through that again," Misha looks teary eyed while Shizune gives me a rough nudge.

She doesn't express it as clear as Misha, but she is clearly feeling sad. It's not a familiar look for her, and it makes me feel bad.

A sudden sensation of tightness in my chest, I quickly position myself to apologize to get out of here as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry, I am working hard to take care of myself…," I place my hand on the back of my head and try to look cheerful, if just to help express the thought to both of them.

There is only a feeling of hope inside me, that she now accepts my words or has just let me off the hook, but her stance returns to normal as she smiles at me and nods at me.

I got to hurry, I feel like crap all of a sudden.

"I will see you two later…," I wave and step out of the classroom, quickly seeking a water fountain. The medication is still firmly in my hand.

My hand comes up to put the pill in my mouth as I quickly drink some water and swallow it down.

The water helps with that uncomfortable dry feeling it normally gives.

A simple sigh escapes my lips as I head downstairs, figuring Hisao, Hanako, and Lilly must feel concerned with how long I am taking to get there.

Within a few minutes I find myself down the path away from the main building up and heading over to the main gate. It does not take long before I notice the three of them waiting at the gate, still in their school uniforms.

It’s a good thing I didn't decide to go change.

"Hiroshi…." Hanako is the first to notice me, as Hisao and Lilly turn over in my direction

"Oh my, Hiroshi, we were getting worried that you might have forgotten," I guess I have a track record of not keeping to my schedules.

I think about explaining how I got held up, but I don't want to make it seem as if Shizune and Misha are being pests, when they clearly aren't.

"I'm sorry…, I had to take some medicine before coming out," it was true, though I felt bad for saying it anyway.

Lilly and Hanako's expressions change, I suppose it's a troublesome subject when it comes to me.

Hisao seems like he is catching the mood in the air.

It makes me feel uneasy so I speak out the first thing to come to mind.

"So, what is the Shanghai like?" It was a thought I had during Math class, so why not ask.

Lilly catches on quick, as she re-centers herself.

"It is quite a peaceful place, that we visit frequently," the explanation is a little underwhelming, but I will take it at face value for now.

"…Sounds nice…," I figure I might have a better understand once we actually get there.

"So, shall we?" Hisao looks ready to enjoy the afternoon as he spoke.

"Ah, yes. Let us get going," Lilly's confirmation is all that is needed as the four of us begin out of Yamaku and down the road.
________________________________________
I'm not sure if the medicine has taken effect or not, but I felt like I was floating on air on the way down.

We had arrived in front of an oriental style building, which stands out compared to the rest of the nearby buildings.

I turn to look at the entrance and notice the three of them had already started to go inside while I was looking around. I step inside quickly to keep in pace.

The inside matches the same Chinese style design that could be seen from outside.

Is this some sort of themed café?

The waitress comes from the right side to greet us.

"Welcome to the Shanghai! May I take your order?"

To my surprise, it's Yuuko, the Librarian from school. Before I have the opportunity to point it out, Lilly speaks up.

"Just tea, please. Hanako, Hisao, Hiroshi?"

"I'll have a slice of pie and a coffee" Hisao is the first to respond.

"Just… t-tea… please," Hanako is next to order

I pause to think of what I'd like.

"Umm… some tea and a slice of pie as well for me…," It was an odd combination, but I was not in a mood for any coffee, more so because of my medicine.

Yuuko leaves to get out order together as we take our seats by the window.

Hisao speaks up once we are comfortable.

"Lilly you seem tired, are you all right?" I turn to her to take a better look, noticing her exhausted motions.

I would have picked up on, but I am probably just as tired as she is, considering.

"With class representative work after lunch, it was tiring, considering how often it requires dealing with the Student Council," Sounds like a day with Shizune and Misha.

Though I can't figure out when Shizune and Misha left class, I probably wouldn't have noticed it, with all the day dreaming I was doing.

"Do the other representatives fare the same?" Hisao continues, while I feel out-of-place in the conversation.

"Only slightly better than I. Shizune is quite the strict taskmaster with whomever she deals with," Lilly looks a bit embarrassed to admit all this.

"Why do you do it? It seems like you are not very fond of the job."

"The responsibilities are well enough and it is an enjoyable position to work in. It's just that the people who are part of it are sometimes…," Lilly pauses as if resisting the urge to say something rude.

There is a small change in the mood at the table as Hanako stands up from her seat.

"Hanako?" Lilly spoke with soft concern.

"I'll… be back in a moment." Hanako leaves to the rest room area. I guess the topic was a bit much for her.

There is a pause, as Lilly looks a bit hurt. However, the mood lightens up as soon as Yuuko approaches the table and places the cups and plates down.

"Thanks, Yuuko."

"Thank you."

"Thanks," with that, Yuuko bows and walks away.

I am the first to grab their cup from the tray, letting it sway just a bit within my grasp.

Lilly seems to realize something as her expression changes.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you two something, and I feel now is a good time," Lilly's cheerful smile appears after her words.

"All right," I was intent on having my part in this trip as well.

Hisao nods in agreement.

"Hanako's birthday is approaching, and I was hoping that both of you might accompany me for present shopping in the city this weekend."

Hanako's birthday…? I suppose that would be something nice to celebrate. Though, I have no idea what kind of gift to get a girl for her birthday. I am sort of familiar with the city, since I was in the hospital down there not too long ago.

Hisao is the first to speak up on the request.

"Sure, I'd be happy to."

I wasn't so sure about it, but not because I wasn't interested.

"Would it be a good idea for all three of us to leave on the same day? It would seem like something is up," Lilly and Hisao look surprised by the concern.

"You may have a point, Hiroshi," Hisao reached for his coffee now.

As little as I knew about Lilly, she seemed like she was trying to come up with a plan for us to go unnoticed.

Suddenly I have an idea, which might help this situation.

"Maybe I can go on my own on the first day, than you two can go the next day, that way someone is around if Hanako looks for any of us," I feel confident about the plan, though I hope I come off that way.

"That sounds like it would work out best…," while Lilly does agree with it, I am sure it is not how she wanted things to turn out.

"Do you have any plans for what we would be doing for her birthday exactly?" Hisao pushes the conversation forward.

"Hanako being Hanako, perhaps something small would…" Lilly stops mid-sentence as she suddenly begins to sip her tea.

A few moments pass as Hanako returns from the restroom. Lilly must have heard her coming.

Hanako takes her seat and begins to have her tea.

The awkward silence feels out-of-place, but with a short time passing with everyone eating and drinking, it is once again Hisao to break the silence.

"So aside from chess and reading, do you have anything else you enjoy doing?" I will admit that I'm interested in that too.

The question wasn't something Hanako was ready for, as she takes some time to get her thoughts together.

"Well…I guess… I am okay with computers. I also sing a l-little, that is about it." Hanako appears happy to tell us that.

I wonder if I am the only one who feels surprised by the thought of her singing.

"What about you Hiroshi?" this also comes as a surprise.

"Huh, me?" I wouldn't have figured I'd be asked this.

The scramble I feel in attempting to get my answer out was clearly higher than normal.

"Well I like reading…, I also do some writing, and…," I feel as if I sound like a bore.

"…I play the violin, that's about everything I guess," my heart beats a little faster than normal

Yeah, I feel stupid for mentioning that to Hisao.

I would swear that Hisao had an odd reaction to the last one, though I was feeling too weird about it to really have noticed.

I start to laugh a little, maybe from the awkward feeling I have, but Hisao, Hanako and Lilly join in on it.

I feel like this will be a long evening, I need another slice of pie!
________________________________________
The walk back to Yamaku was one hell of a trial, but noticing how Hisao had just as much trouble getting back as I did, it make me feel less self-conscious about it. Though it also makes me wonder what kind of situation brings Hisao to Yamaku.

Lilly and Hanako part ways to the girl's entrance.

"It has been a wonderful evening, Hisao, Hiroshi," Hanako walked close to Lilly as she spoke and waved.

"Good night…," Hanako spoke tenderly to both of us.

"Have a good night, both of you."

"Good night," It felt different having someone to walk with after Hanako and Lilly head off on their way.

Hisao takes the lead walking into our dorm building as I follow, trying to sum up the night in my mind.

We get about halfway down the hallway before Hisao stops to turn to me. I only hope that Kenji doesn't suddenly show up.

That turned out pretty well, I think" I wish I could be a bit more forward like that.

"Yeah, it seems that way…," I let out a quiet sigh, feeling the long stretch of the day against me.

"Well, have a good night."

"Same to you, Hisao," He heads off into his room as I do the same.

I start getting everything together for tomorrow, figuring it would be a long day with the trip to the city.

Still, I have to figure out what kind of present to get for Hanako, it's a new concept for me, shopping for a girl.

I'll figure something out.

I plop on my bed and try to relax, needing as much rest as possible.
Last edited by Zykes on Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:34 pm

Most of your story is present tense, but some lines slip into past tense:

it was true, though I felt bad for saying it anyway.
I'm not sure if the medicine has taken effect or not, but I felt like I was floating on air on the way down. We had arrived in front of an oriental style building,
The inside matched the same Chinese style design
It was an odd combination, but I was not in a mood for any coffee,
I was intent on having my part in this trip as well.
I wasn't so sure about it, but not because I wasn't interested.
...

It's getting more frequent towards the end, so I'm not listing them all... I don't think tenses were that bad of a problem in earlier chapters, or I would have commented on it before.

Overall, the story has improved markedly since chapter one, though.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by Zykes » Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:10 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Overall, the story has improved markedly since chapter one, though.
I'd like to hope so.

I have found that life has been a great kick in the face and has slowed my pace in terms of actually getting this written, but the silver lining is that my writing has been positively affected.

Hopefully I can continue to get this written, as about 30-35% of the story is completed, and I want to finish it.

Hardest part for me honestly, is something small.

Trying to constantly come up with titles for each scene. I do try to be clever whenever I can.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by NekoDude » Fri Jan 24, 2014 5:47 pm

Zykes wrote:Hardest part for me honestly, is something small.

Trying to constantly come up with titles for each scene. I do try to be clever whenever I can.
First, wait until the scene is written, then name it. Don't try to write to a title.

I'm no longer naming my chapters, choosing to use that space to state whose POV it is instead, but when I was naming chapters I had a pretty simple way of doing it. Just about every scene reminded me of a song, and the title would then be a piece of the song that popped into my head.
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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by Zykes » Sat Jan 25, 2014 1:59 am

NekoDude wrote:First, wait until the scene is written, then name it. Don't try to write to a title.

I'm no longer naming my chapters, choosing to use that space to state whose POV it is instead, but when I was naming chapters I had a pretty simple way of doing it. Just about every scene reminded me of a song, and the title would then be a piece of the song that popped into my head.
Well the PoV is always from Hiroshi. So it never needs to be stated as it will always be him.

As for writing my scenes before making titles, I have a complete outline guide I developed before even starting the story. I have the entire story plotted from beginning to end with information on what will be discussed in each scene, while leaving it open to adjustment. (Originally Act 1 was built as 18 Scenes, but I ended up condensing the last four scenes into two.)

I have looked over the VN to see how they title the scenes in comparison to what happens within the scenes.

I want to follow the general idea of how they developed the titles, but sometimes I have difficulty coming up with a clear thought on a title. As you mentioned in your own story, there is a theme at some level with the titles, but there is a limit to the number of words I can use, so I have to be flexible as well. So that is why I try to be clever.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S5 Update - 1/23/14)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jan 25, 2014 7:45 am

For the additional kick, try themed chapter titles.
When I did this I first complied a huge list of possible titles and then chose one for each chapter I'd written.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S6 Update - 2/28/14)

Post by Zykes » Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:18 pm

Scene 6 Personal Planning

The morning sun begins to slip through the window, as it quickly reaches my face.

A great surprise dawns on me as I open my eyes.

I'm fully awake and filled with energy despite not having had my medication yet.

Why do I feel this good today?

I give a quick stretch before sitting up straight on the edge of the bed.

The thought carries in my mind for a few minutes as I finally push myself off the bed to get ready. The trip to the city is long after all.

While I did not set up what I wanted to wear today, I end up picking a few things quickly as I scan through the closet.

A black shirt and matching slacks is fine enough for this weather.

Changing clothes doesn't take long as I then grab my medicine and take the first pill for the day, having almost forgotten about it.

I'd rather not pass out in the middle of the street or anything.

My throat feels a bit dry after taking the pill, but it's nothing worrisome.

I quickly work on straightening my bed and putting my other clothes away before turning towards the door and head out.

It is silent in the hall, except a few people talking in the shower room.

The moment I reach for the door, I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Hey, Hiroshi," a quick turn of my head is enough to see who it is.

"Oh, Hisao…, you're up early," I guess this is a good idea to ask about gift ideas.

"Yeah, just a couple of things to do," while he spoke, it felt like he had something else he wanted to speak about.

"Oh…, well I am about to head out to the city, so…," I didn't want stay out any longer than I had to, since I had no idea how long I'd take finding a gift.

"By the way, here is my phone number, so it'll be easier to contact each other," my hand reaches into my pocket to pull out my phone. It is black with a few purple markings.

"All right," with a few pushes of the buttons, we exchange our numbers.

"By the way, Hisao…, I…," suddenly I stop mid-sentence. I realize I don't want to steal any ideas from him about Hanako's gift, since its something that I come up with.

"…Never mind, I'll be going now," I wave at Hisao before walking out the door and towards the gate.

This allows me a few moments to think about my schedule for the trip to the city.

Only the creaking of the gates puts my focus back to where I am. Now I wonder where the bus stop is.

A random car passes by every once in a while, with about three coming by in total before the bus shows up.

I guess it's time for the long ride, maybe I will get this gift idea down...

I grab a seat near the front and lean against the window, shutting my eyes. The way the bus moves doesn't disrupt me much as I think over things.


////////////


The rough stop the bus forces my eyes open.

I look around and realize that we have just arrived in the city, but it also hits me that I had fallen asleep on the way.

The feeling of disappointment is strong, as I place my palms against my forehead.

I get off the bus and look around, having a familiar sensation fill me as it was not too long ago since I was here.

The thought of the hospital, however, made me feel uneasy, as I start to look around for anything that seemed like a gift shop.

What kind of things does Hanako like? She drinks tea… but… maybe that is something more Lilly's style.

She likes to play chess…, but I don't think I can afford a really nice chess board.

Ugh…, why is this so hard?!

It becomes a lot clearer to me that I don't know Hanako that well.

I should make the effort to talk to her more; I can't call her my friend otherwise…

The pathway through the elevated walk way gets densely crowded. It is a four-way intersection as I find myself near the middle.

It is just very hard to move around, though a few people make it feel as if it is their goal to shove you while going by.

Irritated isn't a word I can use to describe my frustration.

Once I reach the north end of the intersection, I take a breather at the staircase.

Definitely more winded from my stress than the walk.

I close my eyes to relax my heart, trying to imagine it slowing down. This seems to work out well.

However, a loud sound startles me.

"HIIRRRROOSSSHHIIIII!" I know that voice anywhere.

"Misha…?" my eyes half-open, as I turn my head.

I was right; it is Misha in front of me, as well as Shizune.

Did they plan a trip here too, or did they follow me. I wouldn't put it past them.

They start to sign to each other, as I watch them.

Their casual clothes surprise me. Shizune is wearing a dress, mostly white on top and a black skirt.

To be honest, she dresses a lot more girly than I was expecting. The image of a professional Shizune pops into thought.

Misha is a bit plainer, with a brown skirt and…, a shirt with..., Bush/Chaney? Why would she wear that?

I realize that I'm staring at the words for more than a few seconds, which is at chest level for her.

I turn away; a bit embarrassed by the implied notion I was probably giving.

"So what is Hiroshi doing out in the city by himself?" Shizune and Misha look at me like a pair of curious cats.

"Wahahaha, are you meeting you secret girlfriend out here?" Misha really knows how to tease people, geez…

"No no, I am just…, checking things out…," maybe not the best choice of words.

A quick swish of their hands and suddenly I feel sandwiched by both of them.

"If that is the case, you can come with us," the idea that I have a choice disappears as each one grabbed one of my arms and dragged me to sidewalk.

This is somewhat nostalgic and sad at the same time.


//////////////////////


It felt like fifteen or twenty minutes before we arrived to wherever they were taking me.

I look up at the sign as we stopped. It is an old style gaming arcade, but why here?

"Hiroshi, let's have some fun," once again without an opportunity to make a choice, I'm pulled inside the arcade, though once we get inside, they release their grip on me.

For the most part, there are classic machines that fill the room, though a few newer games are in the back.

I can only stare in a slight amazement of Shizune's racks up the points on the first game she gets on.

Do they come here often? I can't imagine that with the student council work.

"Hiroshi, why don't you play something?" Misha is probably curious why I'm just watching.

A quick glance into my wallet reveals that I only have a little over a thousand yen to spare.

I decide not to spend it yet, unsure of what else I might need today.

Shizune seems like she has finished her first game and starts to look around for another.

Though I am sure anything would have been fine, Misha points out a rather large crane game in the back.

The size is claw could easily grab a hold of any one of our hands, though it isn't the biggest version of the game that I've seen.

Misha is the first to play, considering her eagerness to come to it.

Now with two failed attempts, she pouts. She is making a cute face regardless of how she feels.

Shizune is next to bat, and I am sure she was figuring things out.

However, the results don't change, just because Shizune was up. Though I swear she had that giant plush for sure.

I guess that is over.

"Now it is your turn, Hiroshi!" Misha moved behind me and pushed me up to the joystick.

"What, I don't want to play…," I am going to resist this time.

"You can do it, we believe in you Hiroshi," Misha chuckles a bit as I turn to Shizune

She gives an approving look when we make eye contact.

Uggghhhh…, why do I always have to cave in…

"Fine fine…, how much is this anyway?" I look for the bill slot.

"500 Yen! Why is this so expensive?!" I grit my teeth as I pull out the bill from my wallet and get started.

At least I get two attempts as I move the claw.

I see that plush that Shizune wanted to get and go for it, figuring it might be easier. However, while I did grab it, it moves maybe an inch or two and falls, tumbling back into place, knocking a rather fuzzy looking bear near it.

I will get that plush!

Everything feels like it slows down, as I reposition the claw over the plush.

There is slight hesitation in my hand, as I put all my hope into pressing the button to lower the claw. I could feel my heart racing, which isn't exactly the best feeling, but I want to win.

The moment the claw gets near the plush, it turns slightly and misses.

I turn around, placing my hands on my head in frustration and defeat.

"…Oooohhh! You did it Hiroshi!" Misha shout breaks me of my internal agony.

"What?" Misha points to the prize bin.

Inside lies the stuff bear that fell next to the plush. The claw must have grabbed it instead.

Taking the prize from the bin, I feel a lot better all of a sudden.

Misha was acting quite hyper as the three of us cheered for the victory

"So, what are you going to do with that Hiroshi?" Shizune and Misha look at me with a wondering type of expression.

I take a moment to think and an idea pops up almost immediately.

"Well, I'll figure it out…," I already know, but I don't want to reveal the reason I'm really in the city for.

"Let's grab something to eat, I am starving," a simple suggestion, as I don't need stay down here for anything else.

"We know a good place that you will like!"

"Lead the way," Out the door they both go, with me right behind them.

I think this company isn't a bad thing to have…

//////////


The sun sets over the mountains as I stare out the window of the bus.

The level of exhaust I have cannot be measured, due to having forgotten my afternoon pill.

Once the bus comes to a stop, I head off back into Yamaku, just as the sun completely fades from the sky.

Though I have the stuffed bear as a gift for Hanako, I feel that isn't enough. I have to figure out something else to give her as well.

I can only sigh as I get into the dorm.

As I reach the door to my room, Hisao comes from the other side of the hall, carrying a box.

"So how did it go?" Hisao would want to know, at least for tomorrow.

"I got her something, though I don't know if it's the best thing I could have gotten for her," another sigh leaves my lips.

"Don't worry about it, it's the thought that counts," maybe that is true…

"By the way, this came for you while you were gone," he shakes the box slightly.

"Really?" I wasn't expecting anything…

Hisao hands over the box as I still feel a bit confused by what the contents might be.

"Well, thanks for holding it. I'm going to get some sleep." I push my door open with my back.

"No problem, talk to you tomorrow Hiroshi," he waves at me as I slip into the room.

The box wasn't really heavy, as I spin myself around and place it on the bed.

First, looking at the tag, my expression gets a bit sour.

"Katsumi…"

I open the box up and to my surprise, see a brand new Violin, along with a note inside.

The note stands out more, so I read it first.

"Hey Hiroshi, I know you were looking forward to playing when you left the hospital, but… I couldn't "find" your violin at home, so I got you a new one. Hope you enjoy it. Love, Katsumi."

What does she mean, she couldn't find it?

I'll ask her tomorrow I guess.

I put the note down and grab the violin, looking it over. It does have a nice gleam to it.

Random thoughts linger on my mind, and not to long after, I just smile to myself now.

Hehehe…
Last edited by Zykes on Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S6 Update - 2/28/14)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Feb 28, 2014 5:45 pm

Not really much to ay about this chapter except that 1.000 Yen seems way too expensive for two tries at a crane game (that's more than 10USD) and that you should try to use paragraphs instead of starting a new line after every sentence...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Zykes
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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S6 Update - 2/28/14)

Post by Zykes » Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:41 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Not really much to ay about this chapter except that 1.000 Yen seems way too expensive for two tries at a crane game (that's more than 10USD) and that you should try to use paragraphs instead of starting a new line after every sentence...
I fixed that, I had original put 1,000 and when I looked up the converted amount, I meant to change it to half of that, but I ended up forgetting.

And I will take that paragraph part to heart for the next piece.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S6 Update - 2/28/14)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 05, 2014 10:17 am

I'm taking my time to enjoy this. Interesting premise, entertaining perspectives… I'm learning something here about writing too. :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S6 Update - 2/28/14)

Post by Zykes » Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:08 pm

Hey, just a quick update.

I am back to work on the next chapter.

(Due to preparing to move to another state in a few weeks, I've been super busy. But now that most of it is taken care of, I can put some attention back to it. )

I'd say maybe some point next week to look for it to appear.

Thanks for waiting ^^;
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S7 Update - 4/21/14)

Post by Zykes » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:14 am

Scene 7Blossom Tending

A rare moment in which I feel relaxed within the slumber I bathe in. Am I truly asleep, or did I enter this state and wish not to open my eyes?

With so many restless nights, it is difficult to determine if I am truly awake or within a dream at times.

The silence kept me in a state of wonder, as I try to envision a few thoughts, though with little return from the effort.

The thought of time starts to fill my mind. While I am curious, I'm still unwilling to attempt to open my eyes to see if I am awake.

Riiinnngggg...Riiinnngggg…Rinnngggg….

My heart stops at the sound of the phone going off. I quickly lift myself up from the pillow and reach over to grab the phone.

The screen reads: One text message.

Both of my eyes are half-open as I click on the message. It's from Hisao.

"Can you meet me and Lilly at the gate?"

Why do they need to meet now?

I place the phone back on the nightstand and glance around the room, noticing the teddy bear sitting on the dresser. It dawns on me what they need from me and I quickly respond to Hisao's message.

"Sure"

As soon as I send the message, I get off the bed and find something to put on.

///////////////

The gate comes into clear sight as I hasty walk towards it.

Both my clothing and hair are somewhat unkempt. I push open the gate as I can see both Hisao and Lilly through the bars. I've never seen Lilly or Hisao in their casual wear before, but the thought fades quickly.

"There you are Hiroshi," Hisao looks relieved, while Lilly gave her usually smile.

"Good morning, Hiroshi," I pull myself from a slouching position as she spoke.

"Morning…, so what did you guys need?" Hisao could have sent a text about what they wanted, but I guess it is important to have real interaction between friends after all.

"Well, we were curious about the gift you got for Hanako yesterday," I figured as much.

"The gift…, well I got her this really nice teddy bear…," a random sensation of loathing hits me. I feel like the gift alone is not enough.

"That sounds lovely, Hiroshi," Lilly smiles as tenderly as always.

Before I have a chance to finish with their inquiry, Lilly looks like she realized something.

"Before I forget, Hanako will be in therapy today, so she won't be around for a while," that is news I suppose.

"You are welcome to join us if you'd like Hiroshi," I do my best to resist a yawn as I listen intently.

Should I go with them? I might be able to get something else without being carried away by Shizune and Misha. But I'm not sure what to get, or what I could honestly afford

"Thank you, though I will probably just stay here, I'll figure something out," even if I have to spend time on my own, it's not something out-of-place for me.

"If you're sure, we'll head out now," Hisao doesn't look like he would push the invitation much, which is fine by me.

"All right, you two have a good time in the city. If anything comes up, I'll let you know," I give a simple wave as I turn back towards the dorm, hoping to get a bit more rest before coming out for the day.

This exhausted feeling is awful, but it dawns upon me. I still didn't take my morning medicine.

Ugh…., it's always something…

I take my time walking back to dorm; my eyes are still only half-open at this point.

I may as well wash up while I'm at it.

/////////////

After a cold shower, I feel up for almost anything. Though having the will power isn't necessarily going to mean much. Once I step back into my room, I glance around, hoping to figure something to do for the day while everyone else is busy.

The case sitting by my closet grabs my attention and gives me an idea. I pick it up and head out.

The sun was shining bright with very few clouds in the sky. I use my free hand to cover my eyes as I look around for a nice spot to sit, walking down the pathway until I find a decent size tree to sit under.

Usually I'm not so keen on being outside on my own, but I guess this might be an exception.

I place the case near the tree as I sit back against the trunk. My hand runs along the sides of the case and flips each clip, opening the case and revealing my violin.

When was the last time I played?

It was fuzzy at best, but I would swear it was here, at school…

Well, it's not that important.

I make sure to sit up as best I can and prep myself to play. I pull a few strings with the bow just to get use to the slight resistance. It sounds awful at first.

With a few more pulls of the bow, I get the use to the feeling and close my eyes.

Normally people who play the violin don't do this, as it might throw off their position, but I can't seem to focus if anything else is within sight when I’m not looking at a music sheet.

I don't make any attempt at playing a particular song. I only string along notes in a soothing melody, allowing my mind to fade into the music.

///////////////////

The sense of time was gone, as I continued to play the violin, only taking a few moments to relax my wrist ever so often.

I could do this all day, enjoying this familiar sensation, as if a part of me had returned, though it still feels a little odd.

Once I reach the end of a string of notes, I open my eyes, if only to see what time it is. To my surprise, several students are standing on the pathway, watching me play.

Have they been there this whole time….?

I feel embarrassed, to say the least as a few of them begin to clap. It's not the kind of attention I'm used to. I keep my face down, wanting to avoid being looked at, as I take the chance to look at my watch.

I've played for almost two hours?!

Geez….

The clapping ended almost as quickly as it started, as most of the students go back to what they were already doing.

Unexpectedly, Hanako is standing a small distance away from the group of students. I can understand that she doesn't want to stand with a group of strangers.

"Hanako…?" I may as well talk to her, since she is here.

"A-Afternoon Hiroshi…," she shudders for a moment, however, she has a smile on her face.

I take this time to carefully put my violin away so I can focus my attention on Hanako. Though, I didn't expect to see her today.

"I'm surprised to see you, I heard you were busy today," the clips for the case are snapped in place to secure the violin as I grab the handle of the case and stand up, moving a bit closer to Hanako.

"It doesn't usually take long," she looks a bit puzzled at first, but it changes quickly.

"Have you seen Lilly today?" it doesn't surprise me to hear her ask, yet answering isn't simple.

"I did this morning," I'll do my best to word this the right way. I don't want to lie to Hanako after all.

"Do you know where she is?" Hanako looks tense, is she worried about Lilly?

"Hmm…, well she was with Hisao this morning, so I wouldn't worry," hopefully that will put her mind at ease, if just a little.

"I-I see…," it's hard to peg what she's feeling.

"So, is there anything you'd want to do today?" what else could I really say? I hope I'm not being awkward.

The air feels still, as I can only guess that Hanako is trying to figure out what to say.

Hanako mumbles at first, it isn't clear at all.

"I'm not sure…," her eyes gaze at the ground and her smile fades.

Did I just ruin a good mood?

Coming up with an idea to fix things isn't easy. I flip through the few things that I can think of when it comes to Hanako. The first thing to come up is my choice.

"Let's play some chess," it feels unusual, being the one to decide on something.

"S-sure," the smile returns as quickly as it faded. What a relief.

I take the lead and head to our usually spot. I hope the room is open.

/////////////

I feel relieved that the room is open. It sure would have been troublesome if it wasn't.

Hanako walks over to grab the chess board, as I carefully place the violin between the chairs. Usually I'm not so worried about things I've gotten from Katsumi, though this was a special case.

Once both of us are at the table, I help her setup the pieces.

When I look over the board, I try to figure how I would play, though my skills would range from really rusty to ancient dinosaur, it has been a long time since I’ve played. Regardless of what happens, I will put all my heart into it…

…Well maybe not all of it, I might pass out or something, Hehe.

The game starts off slow. Hanako is quick on her first few moves, but starts to take a decent amount of time to consider her options. I on the other hand copy her first three moves before picking at random what I felt was best to do. I hope my knight is ok before I move my rook.

Things shift in Hanako's favor when she takes up the left side of the board. However, I happen to take her queen with my knight. Even if I don't end up winning, I'm filled with a joyous sensation for taking such a strong piece, considering there is only one of them on either side.

Wait a second; did she just get her pawn over to my side…? The Queen is back, oh crap…!



…I lost this one…

I guess people normally feel bad when they lose, but I just want to play another match. It appears that Hanako is up for it too, she looks oddly cheerful. It looks nice on her, that kind of expression.

The board gets set up once more and we begin, but Hanako isn't as quiet this time around.

"It was nice to see you play again…," is she that good that people would quit after the first time?

"It was fun and I learned from the last game," yes, I have to watch out for those pawns.

Hanako smiles timidly and softly chuckles.

"Oh…, I meant you playing the violin," her clarification makes me feel silly for confusing her meaning.

"Eh, It's been a while I guess," I wonder how long she was listening to me play.

"You're very talented, Hiroshi…," that certainty of confidence doesn't exist within myself.

"Thanks, though I haven't really played for that long," the rook is moved up a few spots on my turn.

"When did you start…?" when I think back, it feels a lot longer than it actually is.

"A few years ago, just before High school," taking the violin from the attic seemed like a good idea when I found it.

Hanako ends up moving a pawn for her turn. She is clearly interested on the subject.

"Have you been borrowing the violin from the music room?" is that kind of thing allowed?

"No …my sister sent me this one to replace my old one," I feel my heart beating at a faster pace as I spoke.

"What happened to your old one…?" Hanako's tone is curious.

"Well…, I’m not exactly sure, though I should probably ask my sister about it at some point," I move the queen from the back row. The grip on it is tighter than normal.

Considering the circumstances in the last couple of weeks, I do have an idea what happened, assuming my parents do what they always do…

I couldn’t help but feel frustrated by the idea, as I start to speak in an almost unfiltered manner

"I could figure that “they” had something to do with it though…, my parents are not very considerate of me at all…, they haven’t even talked to me once since…,"the sound of my words fade as I can only feel uneasiness and a sense of disgust within myself.

Those feelings only amplify when my body starts to pulsate in pace with my rapidly beating heart.

What am I doing?!

Why am I so upset…, I have to stop…

My chest tenses up as I clinch up and try to relax.

I feel bad for acting this way in front of Hanako.

"I'm sorry…, I didn't mean to start rambling…," I look up at Hanako, who is clearly filled with concern.

"Are you all right? My only thought is to have her not worry about me.

"Yes…, I'm fine…," I force a smile, though my body feels like crap.

Was I really all right? I don't think I've ever done this before, but it's so hard to remember.

I glance over the board and move the Bishop three spaces.

"I think that's checkmate," both my hands firmly press against my forehead, as I sigh.

To Hanako, I'm sure the chess game is the last thing in mind. It's no surprise she takes some time to absorb what happened.

"O-oh…, looks like it is… good game, Hiroshi," she knocks her King over to confirm defeat.

In that moment, I lift it back into place and smile as genuine as I could.

"Let's try that again…," I want this to end as a good day.

/////////////

With six full games complete, the score is dead even at three and three. Another match would be in order to decide the winner, but with the sun about to set, I think it's time we headed back to dorm.

"It looks like we will have to wrap this up for the day," I look over towards the window, enjoying the sight of the sky.

"Yes…," Hanako goes to put the chess set away as I fixed up the table and chairs, being sure to grab the violin.

The next time I play her in chess, I need to remember that castling move. It looks like a big game changer.

Once everything is straightened up, I lead the way out of the room.

The slight darkness makes moving down the main stairs a little difficult, but with a few minutes of being careful we get to the first floor and head out the door.

Aside from a few random lights along the path, it was easy to see the night sky. All the stars sparkle and half-moon sits nestled between a small patch of stars, I think.

Hanako and I don't say much until we reach the dormitory area.

"H-hiroshi…, thank you for spending today with me," she looks happy, though I can feel something else lingering, I'm not exactly sure.

"It's no problem at all, Hanako," I rub the back of head, if only on a nervous impulse.

"Good night, Hiroshi…," a sweet smile across her lips, is all that I needed to see.

"Good night, Hanako," I can't help by smile as well, as I wave at her off, watching her enter the dorm.

I start walking towards my dorm, not a care in the world.

Beep…Beep…Beep….

Who is texting me now?

A quick scan of my phone and I see Hisao's name on the pop-up.

Oh did something happen?

"We will be in a bit. How did things go over there?"

Did they really need to let me know that? I guess it's not a problem in the end, though now I have to tell them a story.

Where do I begin?
Last edited by Zykes on Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S7 Update - 4/21/14)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:54 pm

Hmm... I'd not have expected Hanako to play chess so badly that she would lose against someone with no skills to speak of... nor to throw a few games for his sake.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S7 Update - 4/21/14)

Post by griffon8 » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:20 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Hmm... I'd not have expected Hanako to play chess so badly that she would lose against someone with no skills to speak of... nor to throw a few games for his sake.
That was pretty much my thought. It's hard to imagine Hanako losing to an opponent who doesn't know about pawn promotion or castling. He'd probably be surprised by en passant and think it's cheating.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: Staggering Harmony - (A2,S7 Update - 4/21/14)

Post by Zykes » Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:30 pm

griffon8 wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Hmm... I'd not have expected Hanako to play chess so badly that she would lose against someone with no skills to speak of... nor to throw a few games for his sake.
That was pretty much my thought. It's hard to imagine Hanako losing to an opponent who doesn't know about pawn promotion or castling. He'd probably be surprised by en passant and think it's cheating.

While not so direct, I've always believed people do things for a reason.
"I look down as I step forward, passing by all those that stare, and hold fear in my heart. I stop and look up, I realize I am not afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid of of what I think of myself."

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Staggering Harmony - OC Fanfic

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