Gazing from different eyes (Updated 2/4)

[Guest90206]

This... I like this. I really really do.

[Eprlide]

(I don't think apologizing will work this time. Just have another installment and enjoy!)

/r

I don't remember what happened yesterday. I guess it's a normal side-effect of the medication that's keeping me alive, but I just can't help but wonder if I'm being pulled into something much bigger than this. Who knows what they could have done to me in that dimly lit room of theirs with all of their sharp objects and with their shiny, new technology. Maybe they have selected me to be a part of some secret government organization that does underground work. Like, taking control of the media to brainwash the pubic so they are desensitized by everything that happens on TV, like with the shows of people who play penalty games. With this goal in mind, when Japan finally invades America and China, the Japanese people will be ready to-

NO. Please brain, stop. I'm already bad at making conspiracy theories, and the medication probably isn't helping.

To start off, lets recap. I only remember asking if I wanted to be conscious during the whole procedure but NO THANKS. After that, they put me to sleep and I don't remember if I woke up or not sometime later that day. All that I can remember recently was waking up this morning, taking more medications after having a standard breakfast, taking a nap, then waking up wondering why I don't remember anything from after they put me to sleep. I should at least have woken up a little after the surgery, right? Or did I sleep all through that? It happened mid-day.

My arch-nemesis amnesia strikes again. The surgery seems to be successful at the least, since I'm feeling a strange sensation in my chest thats not my heart in shambles. The dreams have also disappeared and although I'm a bit relived, I still can't tell if they-

*knock knock*

My savior from my thoughts! Though it's probably just the nurse.

"Come in." A woman wearing a white outfit comes through the door, just as I suspected. I sit up as she enters.

"Good afternoon Hisao. I hope you're feeling better than last night." She greets me with a smile.

"Yes, I'm doing fine, tha-"

Last night?

...Oh boy. Thats not just a smile. I see a bit of a smirk in there.

"Uh, what happened last night?" I'm afraid to know the truth, but I guess it's something I must know.

"Well, um..." Shes stuttering already and looking away. I don't think this will be good at all. "I was going to check up on you after the surgery, but I heard you quietly whispering to yourself. I came in and asked if anything was wrong, and you just said you needed time alone to think over things. You immediately went back to talking to yourself at a very fast pace that I couldn't follow, but I did pick up things concerning the government, bracelets, digital clocks and suntan lotion."

Mother of god...

"Everyone had a good time when I told them my story." Nurse, can't you see how low I'm drooping my head in shame right now?

"Just how strange am I?" I grudgingly ask myself.

"I think that's for you to figure out." She smiles again. "Oh, and you have a visitor in the lobby. Should I send her up now or do you need more time to rest?" Her? Its probably...

"Yes, I'm fine with seeing her now. I wont scare her off I promise." We share a smile as she leaves and goes downstairs. I then do the closest thing to a face-plant and fall back flat on the bed with a groan.

It's redundant, but I still don't know how I should act. I don't think the Hisao I keep hearing about would be this lively in this situation, but for me, I don't have any joyous memories to compare this too, other than the day at school. That's the day everything changed; my memory loss, Iwanakos confession, the close encounter to the heart attack, getting sent to the hospital, everything. I personally think I'm doing amazingly well for having lost so much, but I guess thats who I am. I'm not Hisao. But should I tell the world I'm not the young man they think I am? And if so, where do I start?

*knock knock*

Aw, that was a good train of thought. However, now is the time to act.

"Come on inside, Iwanako." The door slowly opens, and the dark hair gives way to a girl who looks down at the floor first, then finally looks at me when she closes the door behind her. Her large jacket covers her school uniform, and she almost looks the same as she did when she confessed to me, minus the snow. She's still a nice sight to look at, but from her expression and movements, my earlier talks with her still seem to be giving her pause.

"I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright after the surgery." She comments, walking to the bed but stopping halfway. "Just to see if the pain has gotten any worse or not." She said before she blames herself for what happened, but it's just one of those things that "happens". Why does that sound suspicious out of context?

"I'm doing well, thanks. In fact, I think the surgery has made me a bit calmer conscious-wise. There's a much lesser chance of it happening again now." She smiles, half-relieved and half-sad.

"I don't know if you realize this yet, but I'm very thankful of you visiting me. I do understand how you feel about all of this but-"

"Please, Hisao..." Calling out to someone whose not there and yet present, she takes a seat in a chair and looks across the room. "I don't need your sympathy. You're the one who needs it right now."

"I'm not in as bad of a condition you think I am, Iwanako. Really, the pain is going away."

"But you must be bored in here all day."

"Books have been occupying my time, but thats also why I look forward to whenever you come to visit." I'm trying to be nice, but she keeps putting up a wall around herself.

"Please, you don't need to keep pushing back the pain like this. It makes me feel bad for you."

"I'm not pushing back anything, I'm really fine."

"I feel so sorry for everything you're going through, and it's because of me that-"

"Why is it that you're blaming yourself for everything thats happened?"

"Because..." She winces, trying to push herself away from me.

"Is it because everyone else says so?"

...

Silence. She opens her eyes and her expressions broadens.

I never thought of it, now that I look back at the whole situation. She still goes to school, and when she does, she goes by the spot she confessed to me, she goes to the same class she spent her time with Hisao, and shes surrounded by people who know what happened, and some maybe even reminding her of what she did.

School day. After. School day. She's surrounded by regret and remorse for what happened, when all she wanted to do was to open her feelings and...

I have an idea.

It's a stupid idea, but I have to do it.

It could be just the thing Iwanako needs to lighten back up to, well, however she was before all this happened. This is a complete shot in the dark only an idiot would do, and it's something completely out of character for Hisao.

But "I" am not Hisao. It's time.

"You know, Iwanako" I sit up again, looking at her with a new resolve. "I've had a lot of time to think things over while I'm here. I've noticed that although I've been enjoying my life day after day, it was just getting repetitive. Sure I don't mind going to school, chatting with friends, studying for tests, and living a good life, but it just gets boring after a while. I know it might not be who I usually am, but I was wondering if I needed to start some sort of change for my life, to break it out of the norm, wondering if maybe, just maybe, things could be a bit different for me. But thanks to you, I didn't have to go do that by myself. I now have someone else with me on this experience, and I really want to thank you for that." Iwanako pays attention to me, trying to understand everything I'm saying. "However, I don't think it's completely done yet."

"Huh?" Confusion is written on her face as I go for the main point.

"Therefore, I, Hisao Nakai, agree upon your request to go out with you."

...

..

.

"W-what?"

"I didn't give you a proper response, right?" I chuckle a bit embarrassed, but this will need to do. "Sorry its over a week late, but I would be honored to be your boyfriend."

Her face slowly changes shape. Her astonished look slowly smiles as her face looks down. In that smile she tries to hold back either tears or laugher, maybe both at the same time.

"Can I... can I think this over?" She stutters as her body begins to shake.

"Sure, take as much time as you need." I respond with a smile.

Slowly getting up off of the chair, Iwanako tries to keep her emotions, whatever they might be right now, inside of her as she gets to the door. She looks back at me one last time with that shaking smile before she exits. It takes a while to start walking away after she closes the door. I wonder how fast her heart was beating. If she was Hisao, this-

No, stop. I've had enough crazy ideas for today, and nobody else needs to experience this whole situation I'm in. Hopefully I can keep my promise to the nurse, but it will depend when Iwanako comes back. If, she ever comes back, but I'm sure she will.

I think she's stronger then she thinks she is, because I can see a bit of myself in her.

[Mirage_GSM]

Good to see you haven't given up on this, but...

that was the single most unromantic love confession I've ever read. "My life was getting boring anyway, so sure, why not go out with you?" ^^°

Also, please keep in mind the difference between "then" and "than":

"Good afternoon Hisao. I hope you're feeling better than last night."

...other than the day at school.

Edit:
I thought I should probably expand on this a bit for the sake of forum goers with little to no experience in romantic matters:
If you one day have a girlfriend - and chances are that you will - she will one day not so far from the first ask you why you decided to go out with her. (She will, trust me on this.)
When that day comes, for heaven's sake, don't - I repeat DON'T - answer the way the protagonist did here.
The best case scenario there would be two weeks on the couch... I leave the worst case to your imagination.

[Eprlide]

Good to see you haven't given up on this, but...

that was the single most unromantic love confession I've ever read. "My life was getting boring anyway, so sure, why not go out with you?" ^^°

Also, please keep in mind the difference between "then" and "than":

"Good afternoon Hisao. I hope you're feeling better than last night."

...other than the day at school.

Edit:
I thought I should probably expand on this a bit for the sake of forum goers with little to no experience in romantic matters:
If you one day have a girlfriend - and chances are that you will - she will one day not so far from the first ask you why you decided to go out with her. (She will, trust me on this.)
When that day comes, for heaven's sake, don't - I repeat DON'T - answer the way the protagonist did here.
The best case scenario there would be two weeks on the couch... I leave the worst case to your imagination.

I did this with the idea that it's not something romantic at all. I mean, come to think of it, he's confessing on a hospital bed after having surgery done on him right? This "Hisao" was just thrown into all of this without any former memory. Maybe the real Hisao would know what to do, but we all know what happened in that situation, right? I like to think of this new Hisao as trying to grab at whatever is in reach, even if he's doing it completely wrong. He doesn't know better and acts more on instinct then anything. Maybe it's just my deranged sense of humor that finds this funny.

The only things I can guarantee is that I enjoy and take your feedback with an open mind, and that I'm not going to let this one die out again. The "than" errors will be fixed shortly.

[Yoh_Komori]

I like the "bourne identy\total recall" spin you are putting on this. I see the humor and the sorrow in it.

good read so far.

[Eprlide]

I like the "bourne identy\total recall" spin you are putting on this. I see the humor and the sorrow in it.

good read so far.

This story was made way before both of those, or at least before I saw them in the movies. When I get to a certain point, I'll state who/what is responsible for this idea of mine.

[Fiandra]

Ohohohoho I'm liking this.

[Mader Levap]

Yeah, this is going in interesting direction. What about Yamaku? This will be BIG problem. Long distance relationship?

[Eprlide]

I'm glad everyone is enjoying this so far! With 5 chapters already in place, I'm planning on another 5 and one extra that will wrap things up nicely. I plan on getting 6 and 7 out next week, so stay tuned!

[Eprlide]

(I give up. Things will update when they update. I'll just focus on not killing this one again.)
Someone's dead. I finally have that instinct, that something has gone so terribly wrong that a life has been spent.

I don't think rushing to the scene will change anything, but I feel its more of a sense of responsibility then a chance to change the way of fate.

My senses awaken up slowly. Bright lights speed out of my view, many scents enter my nose for it to identify anything, and screams overcome my hearing.

I don't think I precisely know what happened to kill someone. Maybe I do, but it's just hasn't implanted itself into reality just yet, like a shock over someone dear dying.

Then I stop. Then I realize; I'm only adding more to the problem. I'm sorry, whoever you are. I've failed you.

Stranger from Fiction

Panic. Sweat. Heart thumping. Eyes darting. EKG beeping. All of the normal things welcome me as my lovely dreams return once more. But with it brings something I haven't even considered yet.

Death. The inevitable conclusion to life. This body I was given has a condition which titers me on the borderline of danger and risk. I'm safe here in the custody of the hospital, but even this must come to an end eventually. What will my future be like when this is all over? Right now, I don't need to worry about going to school, studying everything I need to know for some big test, doing any chores around the house I live in, nothing.

It's good for now because of my inability to remember a single thing of my past, but it brings in a frightening perspective on the future of myself as well. Will I still go to school with anyone else? Will I be sent somewhere distant, so far far away that I may have some chance to restart my life? That may be for the better, but how can I continue with no background to give out? A good amount of personality comes from what's been done by you and to you, and talking about the past is a good chunk of day-to-day conversation. How am I supposed to deal with not knowing who I used to be, especially with those who know the old Hisao, if I'm destined to stay here?

Well, right now it's no use asking questions. I'll wait until the nurse comes around with breakfast, then I'll ask for more of those books on amnesia or how the mind works. Maybe psychology books too.

-------

*knock knock*

"Come in."

The nurse enters in a few hours after breakfast. She got the books i requested back then and I've been reading them since. However, it's currently to no avail. Knowing how amnesia works isn't going to solve the problem itself, and it just makes me more frustrated then anything else.

"I can see you've taking a liking to those books. Are you interested in that kind of science?"

"I guess, kinda." I can't really make this statement. I'm more or less reading these to try and help myself, but I will admit some of the stuff here sure is interesting.But perhaps while we're on this, I can get some information from her.

"I've wondered what it would be like to suddenly loose your memory. Have you dealt with anyone with amnesia before?" The nurse takes a breath and looks down at the floor.

"Only once, and I can only hope what I got was the worst of it."

Uh oh.

"What happened?" Maybe whatever she can tell me from experience can help.

"I don't like the story, but if it does interest you, I'll tell you."

"Please do." She sits herself down in a chair, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, probably in remembrance. She then begins her story, even though she seems to be pushing herself a bit to say it.

"A man got into a car crash with his daughter. The girl suffered major injuries of her own, but the father took the worst of it, including a large dent in his head. When he finally regained consciousness in the hospital, he didn't recognize his wife when she stood near his bed, waiting for him to recover. He had forgotten everything about himself; his name, work, friends, and his family. One day, I overheard him talking seriously to his wife. I know I shouldn't have listened into what they were talking about, but he was apologizing because he couldn't find it within himself to love her again. The feelings he had for her and his daughter had completely disappeared, and with no experience behind him anymore, he didn't know how to love someone again. He... had lost his maternal instinct." Her hands shook as she went though to finish the story.

"She was devastated, but somehow found it within herself to forgive him. However, the day after he was released from the hospital, he was found dead. He committed suicide, believing he was useless to the world for not being able to love his family again."

"Thats..."

...Terrifying. Reality is always worse then any conspiracy theory. Even when he was told what he used to be like, not being able to come back to the person he was crushed his family, and cost him his life. I can only imagine how the remaining family dealt with it and are doing now.

"Doctors and nurses have it hard and we're trained to deal with the worse that comes at us, but there are some things which even we cannot heal." The nurse sighs heavily. "At least be thankful you don't have it worse off then anything else it could have been."

I can't tell good from bad in this. It's bad irony that I'm still affected by this and haven't told anyone, but should I be thankful it's not worse? I guess, but it's already bad enough as it is. I can, however, now imagine it being far worse.

"Thank you for the story, nurse."

"You can call me Kaede." With a small smile she exits the room.

I think the problem now is that I've been taking this the wrong way. I've hid my amnesia from everyone; trying to act naturally only to see that it's completely different then who I used to be. From Kaede's story, apparently even your base personality and emotions can be changed permanently due to a loss of memory. This could work if the person forgot a particularly traumatizing experience, but from what I could tell from his room the morning I was in there, he seemed like a normal kid. The only real event that ever happened to "him" occurred after the memory loss.

Maybe we're more alike then we think we are. Hiding behind a wall that we make ourselves, whatever it may be, to conceal something deep that we don't want anyone else knowing about. But if this something is so important to his character, why haven't I remembered it yet? The dreams come to mind with the reminder that they're one way I can regain fragments of my past. Even so, there's a lot about it that still confuses me. I can only get that someone died, and thats it. I guess if Hisao was young enough, seeing someone die would be particularly traumatizing. The person that died should also come into play too; I don't think I forget someone close to me dieing in my arms, be it family or friends.

But I don't even know them anymore. My mother and father may as well be my guardians and nothing more. I don't feel anything from them anymore. Not some radiance of warmth that I guess you could expect from those that take care of you. Hisao's friends/classmates are the same too. Showing that they care for my recovery was nothing more then a class project, and the number of visits have started to dwindle down as well.

Then there's Iwanako. Who was she to Hisao before all of this? Were they close friends and she just wanted to close the gap once and for all? Perhaps they never really talked much, only knowing each other as being in the same grade, but giving each other the occasional glance and greeting.

I. Don't. Know. Anything. And it's a big problem.

...

Maybe I should give up on it. Iwanako was right all along, even if she didn't exactly see what I was suffering from. She thought that "I" was pushing back the pain of the events happening, when I only acted naturally because I've never experienced anything beforehand that I could compare it with. I've been pushing back the truth of my amnesia, my hidden condition. In my eyes, it's far worse then any heart disease nature could throw at me.

If I'm going to let out the truth, though, it should be to the person I trust the most right now. That means all I need to do is just wait and hope she comes back. She hasn't since two days ago. Although, what I did was trying to get at whatever I could find. It was something only someone stupid would do. Maybe that's how I am now. I can live with that.

I just hope she can, along with everything else I need to tell her.

-------

"H-hisao?"

The soft voice lures me out of my nap, opening my eyes to see the setting sun casting an orange glow on Iwanakos' face, who then immediately looks away in her chair.

"I had a feeling you would come back soon." I reply with a smile as I right myself up in my bed. "i actually was thinking of you earlier today." That gets a cute blush out of her.

"Are you feeling better at all?"

"It's been a few days since the surgery, so I've been doing well."

"Thats good..."

The silence hangs over us, as if knowing that each of us have something to say. If this was some bad, cheesy drama movie we would both try to begin at the same time. But I think I need to tell her my condition as soon as possible.

"Hey-"

"You know-"

God damn it.

"May I please go first? I have something important to tell you."

"Ah, sure." My request catches her off guard. I hope she isn't thinking of things too badly. Now, how to start this...

"You were half-right, Iwanako."

"Huh?" I've caught her attention now.

"On the first day you visited me, you were right. About wearing a mask, to hide something. But you're only half right that I was hiding something... Jeez, how do I break this to you without being so blunt about it?" At times like this I feel my thought process shutting down, and i just talk what I think.

"Then just be blunt about it." Iwanako interjects me, and she looks different then before, somehow bolder then before. "There's no point in cutting corners when it's something serious."

Shes... gotten stronger. Did I do this to her? Maybe that's why she's pushing me to get it out.

"Alright then." Deep breath. In, out. Eye contact. Now begin.

"I've had amnesia for a while."

"Amnesia?" From her tone, it probably wasn't what she was expecting.

"What I've been holding back, so to say, is the lack of knowledge of knowing who I am. It wasn't until the nurse told me of a story of an accident where a victim suffered amnesia that I realized that I was hurting myself by not admitting to it. Needing to go along with what everyone else was saying without knowing what should have been the appropriate response from me has slowly been hanging down on me. I thought for a while that I could take care of this myself, that since it was my own problem, I should be the one to solve it. Now I know I'm not the only one whose suffering from my missing memory. If I'm not the only one affected by it, then I should at least tell someone else whats going on. And you, Iwanako," I smile at her "are the only one I can trust right now with this."

Iwanako looks away and closes her eyes, but the pain isn't on her face. It's more of a look of understanding, until the pained look comes.

"Did it happen when-" She speaks with fear in her voice.

"It was before that." I should have seen that coming.

"Before?"

"It was actually the morning of. I just woke up and had no trace of my memory. I figured out what I could from what I had in my pockets and my room, which wasn't everything." I lie myself back on the bed, trying to sort things out in my head before talking, which usually comes to nothing. "I went to the confession because I felt like it was something I needed to do. I'm sorry for not being the Hisao you remember, because I don't remember him. I'm just... trying to act natural, what I feel like. From the reactions I've seen, I can see it's nothing like Hisao used to be, or how he should be acting, but how would I know specifics when I don't remember them?"

She seems more stunned now that I've further explained how I've had to deal with everything.

"All I can say is, I don't know if the Hisao you liked will ever come back to me. I'm sorry."

I lower my head to her. I can't imagine how it must be for her now, but-

"There... is still Hisao in you." I look up to see her... smiling. "You just did something Hisao would have done, if he ever got the courage to say it. You used to be kind and thoughtful to those around you, but when it came to thinking about yourself, you still put others first before you. Holding onto something until you realize how it affects other people sounds a lot like you. From what I can tell, you're much bolder, daring and even a bit stranger then you used to be."

"Ah, really now?" I haven't changed much, it seems, for better or for worse.

"But I don't dislike that at all." She adds in while widening her smile. "It seems to better you. But why haven't you told anyone else?"

"Like I've said before, you're the only one I can trust with this information right now. There's a reason why I responded to your confession, right?" She blushes again and looks away a bit, but still holds on to that beautiful smile of hers. "Sorry if that wasn't the best confession ever, or at least one you wanted to have. In all honesty, though, I really am starting to like you, so I wouldn't have responded otherwise."

"T-thank you." She responds. "I'm sorry too, for how I was acting these last few weeks. I was thinking of how exactly I should be treating you, over these last days, but I finally realized something I think you were trying to teach me."

"Which was?" I hope I got the right message across.

"You can't ask for strength, you need to find it within yourself."

"That's one cheesy proverb but you are exactly right."

We share a laugh. A good, refreshing laugh, one of those that makes you feel glad you're still alive.

"I guess I should be going then. It's getting a bit late." She looks out the window, then back to me. "I'll come by tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, I would love that. Have a nice day." She stands up and heads for the door. "Hold on a minute." She stops just before the door handle and looks at me.

"You've changed too, but it's not something I dislike either." We share one last smile before she exits.

Well... that's done. I've fixed things up with Iwanako, which I'm pretty sure is my girlfriend now, and let my amnesia secret out. What could go wrong now?

,,,

Damn it, I just jinxed myself again didn't I?

[Guest90206]

Curiouser and curiouser...

[Eprlide]

Why can't I focus at all? Everything is so blurry that my eyes just register brightness and color. From that, it's night time and something is going on.

I do seem to be avoiding it, though, until that certain death. What kind of thing happened to make someone lose a life?

I guess I'm hurrying to find out. My heart practically stops as I look onward to the body as the wind rushes by my face at a speed that...

Oh. The wind. I get it now. Why he died. Why I'm doing something like this as well.

I'm falling. It's one of those dreams.

Damn it all.

Eyesight

It's been two weeks since my admittance into the hospital. Since then, I've found much more about who I am (and a bit of who I used to be), come to terms of my condition, got myself a girlfriend all while not leaving this hospital once. I've gotten to go on a few "walks" if anything, but all was just to get my muscles moving again after being bed-ridden after surgery. I don't feel to weak, although I keep getting reminded to not push myself "too hard". Even though the Arrhythmia is a hamper on my physical skills in general, I've been able to find my limit and be able to steer myself away from going overboard.

After all of this, two things still concern me: when exactly I'm going to be released from here, and what happens to me when I do leave. The former doesn't concern me to much; if I need to stay here a while longer to make sure I will live a decade older, then by all means I'll stay. However, I have thought up of the idea of being moved to a different school when this is all over. I thought it would be good initially, but now with me having reconciled with Iwanako, I don't want to go somewhere else other than here. Sure, it will be difficult needing to "know" everyone again and catching up with studies, but it would be worth it just to stay with her. I don't want to break her heart again right after fixing things right.

I remember a thought I had a long time ago. I'm not letting another one down again....

It's a scarce thought from my forgotten memories, but it's one I'll hold on to.

"Good morning, Hisao." The nurse greets me as she enters the room. "Are you ready for breakfast?"

-------

The nurse leaves me after breakfast is done, but with a nagging thought left in my mind. She says that I'm going to get some good news today, but she never gave any hint as to what exactly it would be. All else I know is that my parents will be here for the news too. I haven't seen them much as of late, most likely due to the fact that they took a lot of the news of myself heavily. I can appreciate that as being the parents of Hisao, but I don't know if I'm still Hisao. From what Iwanako told me I have changed from what I used to be (for the better in her books which is all I really care about), so I'm not sure or not if they will accept me as who I am now. I don't know them that well to know how to deal with them, since they've been so distant after the accident. But for now, all I can think about is forward, onto the future. They are probably doing the same.

A few hours pass before my parents, along with a doctor, come into the room. It's late morning now and the snow still falls outside, leaving a blank sheet of white wherever it falls.

"I hope you're doing well today, Hisao." And it begins with a -very- casual greeting from the doctor.

I smile at him and my parents. "I'm feeling very well today, actually." Despite being honest instead of acting, the parents look very gloomy. How hard did they take this onto themselves?

"We have some good news for you, Hisao, but I believe the nurse told you that already." The doctor looks over the clipboard he brought and continues. "Since you didn't have a full-on heart attack, which is considerably lucky for you, your sentence here is much shorter then it would have been. We believe that you may return home safely in a weeks time." Well, question one from this morning answered. "However, medications will be necessary in order to keep your condition in check. Here's the full list."

He hands my father a paper, and I didn't think his face could get any darker then before, yet I'm proven wrong.

"May I see it?" I'm handed over the paper and-

...Wow.

"Thats... a LOT of pills, doc."

It's not just the name and dose that's listed either. Side effects, adverse effects, contraindications and many other things line the paper thats in my hand. Some I can recognize from the books I've been reading, some seem familiar, but I can't recall why. Must have been from my past. It's actually easier to read then it looks.

But seriously, all of this every day for as long as I live? I guess I underestimated my condition, or at least forgotten about it while I tackled my amnesia.

"This, along with a few other precautions, and you should be fine on your own. Medical science is improving with each year, so this list may decrease over time." Nodding in agreement I hand over the sheet of paper over to my father. He still doesn't like everything on there, I can see it on his face.

"However," He continues. "This isn't everything. I've talked with your parents, and we've agreed that it would be best if you didn't return to your old school."

No, this is what I feared. My mood darkens now, and I think I hear the EKG beeping a bit faster now. "Why? I just need to be careful and take my medications to be safe, right? It's not much to ask for."

"I wish that was the case for every sickness in the world, but it's more complicated then that. Even with everything that we've done, the arrhythmia can suddenly be very dangerous on a moments notice. It would be much safer if there was supervision. I've discussed with your parents a transfer to Yamaku Academy."

Yamaku Academy

"Whats wrong?" Everyone else goes into a panic as I hold my head with one hand. Why...

"A school for the disabled..."

"You've heard about it before?" The doctor asks while checking the machines, but no. I've never heard it before in my life.

But why do I know everything about it just from hearing the name?

Yamaku Academy: A boarding school specialized for disabled students of any kind save for mental conditions. Set on top of a hill overlooking a town, it has a round-the-clock medical staff and is located near a hospital in case of any major incidents. It doesn't loom the conditions of the student's over themselves, and instead adjusts itself to better the learning environment of the student while not going overboard with it. It has a pretty good library too.

But why do I know all of this?!? What memories did I loose?!?

"Hisao, calm down!" I fall flat on my back as my heart and mind fight against each other, tearing up the rest of my body. Everything starts going black...

-------

"Everything should be stable now." Many minutes later the doctor signals the green light. I'm not feeling on fire anymore, in both ways, and my parents look both relieved and horrified at the same time. "I just said it could happen at any time, and it had to be right then and there..." The doctor mutters to himself as he goes back to his clip board, shuffles his papers around, and begins again.

"People with your condition live longer then most with similar heart diseases, so thinking about your future is important." Ha, ha. That's all I've been doing this morning. "Of course you have the decision on what you will do for your future, but perhaps it would be wise to... consider Yamaku after what just happened.

"I..." I don't get it.

"Do you not like the idea of being far away from home?" Dad asks me.

"No, that's not it..."

"Is it being labeled as disabled?"

"That's not it either..."

"Then what's bugging you?" What is bugging me? I sense a big distaste from it and yet-

Oh, I'm thinking a bit too far ahead. It's not the reason I don't like the place, it's the reason I don't want to leave.

"Iwanako..." Everything silences for a bit until my father speaks up again.

"We know how she feels, and-"

"No, you don't." Blunt and cold, my words stop him from going on. "I finally, finally was able to settle everything with her... to reconcile with her and further... and now you want me to go away from her?!?"

"Son, this is about your future. You need to think about this more clearly."

"And I want a future with her in it!"

"IWANAKO WONT MATTER IF YOU'RE DEAD!"

That... was mom, with her dam finally bursting after being quiet for so long. Dad leads her out of the room while the doctor looks at me with a complex expression.

"I don't know what Iwanako means to you, but please give it some more serious thought." He heads for the door as he mutters to himself again. "In some sick way, she's right."

...They're gone. All of them, thinking I'm more broken then anything else. In some cases, I am. It is hard, trying to cope with everything I've been given. The amnesia, the recovery, the arrhythmia, Iwanako, everything has been a challenge for me to try and overcome. Although they don't know everything about what I'm going through, they think I'm too weak to try and sustain myself through everything. They think I will need Yamaku in order to keep myself in check, to be guided by the arm for the rest of my high school life.

But I can show them all. I am stronger then they think I am. I just need to find a way to do it all right. Or else I will lose. Forever.

Again.

[griffon8]

Well, nice to finally discover more to the guy inhabiting Hisao's body, even if it's just some vague memories.

Of course, my current guess would be it's Hisao from a timeline where he fell off the roof.

[Guestimate]

This is interesting. I'll be keeping an eye on it.

[Fiandra]

Hmm hmm hmm... *strokes invisible beard* this is getting more and more interesting. Liek.