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Re: YourFavAnon's Various Works [Updated 7/11]

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:12 am
by YourFavAnon
Mirage_GSM wrote:I think this story would have benefited if it had been a bit longer.
The introduction of conflict felt forced and unnatural.
For example, why would Lilly walk out of the bedroom half-naked, if Hisao just went to open the door? Could have been anyone. And that's not even considering, that Lilly's hearing is very good...
The resolution is also too quick and doesn't really fit with the extreme behaviour of his father in the beginning.
To sum it up in one word: Pacing.
Not saying I disagree, of course, but I figure I should try to explain what I was going for. With the description of Lilly walking out, I was more or less implying not that she was half-naked, but that her gown just wasn't completely done back up at the top. As far the hearing goes, I probably should have described the layout of the apartment in detail a bit, because in my mind the bedroom is a bit far away from the door, meaning she probably couldn't hear exactly what the conversation going on was. My apologies for that.

The original ending was actually about 3-4 paragraphs longer and completely different, but I removed it because it made no sense at all and replaced it with what you see now. So yeah, the pacing may seem a bit off, but I worked a good four or so hours writing the whole piece, and along the way there was a couple of bumps in the road in terms of plot.

Thanks for the criticism anyways.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Works [Updated 7/11]

Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 11:31 am
by YourFavAnon
Summertime


Why did Miki have to do this? It was just like her to invite Hisao to take the trip to the beach with us. This was just supposed to be us two going for a little escape from school and society, enjoying our three day weekend as best friends with no other distractions. I've told her how I feel about him, and it's absolutely embarrassing knowing that I'm going to be in a bathing suit in front of him without actually telling him how I feel...

Freaking. Miki.

She knows. She knows EVERYTHING. I had to tell her, it's only right to tell your best friend your deepest, darkest secrets. Although, this one isn't very dark... Nevermind that. She took the liberty of inviting Hisao to come to the beach with us, rather than us two spending some nice, quiet time together for the first time in ages. I mean, don't get me wrong; I love the fact that I'm going to get to see the guy I love shirtless, with his gorgeous mop of hair and deep eyes-

"HEY, SNOOZU!" My eyes open up properly wide at the harsh sounding yell coming from Miki. I must have been drifting off to sleep. Actually, my head was just resting on Hisao's shoulder. No wonder I felt so comfortable. I turn my head to look up at him before listening to Miki anymore, giving him a shy, embarrassed smile. In return, he gives me his signature, cute grin, probably the most attractive thing about him.

That smile.

That god damn smile.

My happiness is short lived though, coming to an abrupt end as I feel as I feel Miki's stump connect with the back of my head. I cock my head in the opposite direction, my face obviously fuming with anger. She knows better than to interrupt me when I'm having a moment like that.

"Welcome back to reality, darling," she says while flashing me a shit-eating grin. "We're just about to get to the station, grab your bag. I want to get to the beach for a little bit today before it gets dark!" Of course she does. We're already arriving in the late evening, yet she still insists that we should go to the beach. I'd much rather just relax from this terribly long day of travel, but hey, who am I to have an opinion on the subject at hand?

Just as I finish up my little rant in my head, the train begins to come to a halt. We quickly scurry out of the cabin with out belongings, and after a short trek of about a mile, we arrive at our home for the next three days. The home is a beach house that Miki's parents rented out for us for the break, which was a very kind thing of them to do. The house is one floor, with two bedrooms, a large kitchen and a spacious living room. Miki called dibs on the master bedroom, and seeing as I'm going to have to sleep with her, that's a very good thing. Poor Hisao, though, has to sleep in the guest bedroom, which has an awfully small bed and nothing else to it. Maybe I should be a dear and offer to allow him to sleep with Miki so that he actually can be comfortable.

Scratch that. I'm not letting him sleep with my best friend.

Shortly after we entered the home, Miki tossed her bag on the ground, grabbed her bathing suit and headed into the bathroom to get changed. I go into our bedroom and get changed into my red and white striped two piece. I take a look at myself in the full length mirror and release a heavy sigh. I don't think Hisao is going to be very attracted by my appearance, to be quite honest. I exit the room and walk out into the living room to wait while Miki continues to get changed, just to find Hisao sitting on the couch. He's dressed in a pair of green swimming trunks with a white shirt covering his upper body.

Darn. I was hoping to finally see him without a shirt on..

I smile and take a seat beside him on the couch, just before everything in my mind goes black.

"...Wake up, Snoozu!" Miki is shaking and screaming right into my face, which is apparently facing up towards the ceiling. She notices my eyes crack open and fires me a toothy grin. "Welcome back, sweetie. Are you ready to go?" It doesn't appear that I was out very long, thankfully. I do get up from the couch extremely fast after I realize that when I passed out, my pillow was Hisao's lap.

"Erm, sorry about that Hisao.."

"No need to worry about it. That's what friends are for anyways, right?" He fires me that signature grin once again. Such a mood lifter, always there to make me feel great. Always there to make me feel ama-

"Alright, let's go, lovebirds. I've had enough of you two staring at each other for a day!" She turns and runs out the back sliding glass door, as the beach is literally right behind the house. Thank god for beach front properties. But, that's not important the moment. What is important is that Hisao and I are both looking at each other awkwardly, as we got called 'lovebirds'. It's just like Miki to fire off a subtle hint like that. Good thing he knows better than to believe everything that she says.

"Was she just implying that we love each other?"

God dammit, Hisao.

"Let's just go to the beach and, erm, forget about what she said.." With that, I rush off through the door and head down to the shore, blanket in tow. I'm completely ready to take a nap on the beach. I spread my makeshift bed on the sand and pop in my headphones. As I feel slumber starting to over take my eyes and mind, I see Hisao taking off his shirt to go into the water. Great, now I get to miss a free show. As various thoughts pass through my mind about how he's probably a great looking guy without a shirt on, my head goes blank and darkness overtakes me once again.

Nightmares suck. I have them all the time, regardless of meaning. They're never the same, either. One time it could be me getting chased by a killer, while another could be me falling into an endless pit. This time though, it's something different. I wake up in a dark space, just myself sitting at a small table with one dim, yellow light hanging over the top of it. As I look around, I realize that I'm the only one here; there's nothing but emptiness. Nothing but darkness surrounding me. What's up with this nightmare? It's not normal, and it's actually getting into my head, starting to creep me out a bit.

I wait patiently for something to happen. I'm getting paranoid, waiting for something to pop out of the darkness and eat me or kill me, but it doesn't come. My heart is racing at an unbelievable pace. This is something I've never felt before, something that I never want to feel again after this: an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I've always been a somewhat codependent person. Leaning on Miki since the day we became friends... It's just how I've always been. I remember my first two or three days at Yamaku being some of the most depressing and scary days of my life. I was alone in a new place, a place that was foreign to me.

The first few days were nearly unbearable. The days were simply just me going to class, followed by returning back to my room and passing out. I had nobody around me that I was comfortable with, and that terrified me. Then, one day, Miki walked on into my life, and that sort of put an end to my fear. Once Hisao walked in, everything continued to go uphill in a hurry. But now, in this dark room with nobody around, I'm back to that feeling that I haven't felt since my arrival at Yamaku: a feeling of absolute loneliness and fear. I begin to sob. No real tears, just sobs of me regretting my pathetic existence. I can't rely on these people forever, but one day they'll all be gone...

This feeling is the worst that I've felt in quite a while. I can't move from the chair by this table for whatever reason, and all that there is to accompany me is a light and table. I need to get out of here. I can't stand this anymore. I scream for help, but nobody can hear me. I slam my fist into the table and continue to sob, my entire body shaking with rage and sadness. Just let me wake up!

With that thought, I jerk upright in my bed. Miki is sound asleep on the other side of me. How did I even get back here? They must have carried me back and gotten me dressed for bed. I turn my head and look at the digital clock on the nightstand. It reads 1:21 AM. My cheeks are warm and moist from tears, as I must have been literally crying from my nightmare. I'm still feeling a bit petrified after that one. I can't try to go back to sleep, at least, not now anyways. Whenever I fall back asleep after a nightmare, I end up just falling back into it, right where I had left off. I slowly lift myself up from the bed, attempting to not disturb Miki's rest. I know what I want to do, and this may or may not turn out to be a terrible idea.

I slowly creep out of the bedroom and close the door behind me. Wrapped in my blanket, I tiptoe down the hallway to another room, which Hisao just so happens to be staying in. I raise my fist to tap on the door, but hesitate for a minute. What if he doesn't want to hear me out about this nightmare? What if he just says 'Go back to bed, silly, I'm sure you'll be fine.' That really does sound like something he would say. I can't do this. I can't do it.

Stop it, Suzu. Just knock on the freaking door.

I convince myself to give a couple of light taps on the door, almost hoping that he won't get up to answer it. I hear a shuffle of covers behind the barrier before me and notice some light spilling out from space between the bottom of the door and the ground. After a sound from the lock being unlatched, the door swings open.

Ha. He looks like an absolute mess with bed hair.

His eyes look tired, but highly surprised at me standing outside of his door.

"Suzu, what's wrong?" His face has a look of legitimate worry on it. He must understand that no girl is going to come knock on his door at 1:30 in the morning without something being wrong.

"H-Hey Hisao... I, u-uh, had a really bad n-nightmare. Do you m-mind if I come in w-with you?" I just realized that my voice is trembling. I'm not quite sure whether it's because I'm still terrified from the nightmare, or if I'm just really nervous about asking to stay with the boy I'm in love with at one in the morning. He steps aside and motions me to come into the room, closing the door behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders gently and guides me over the the bed, crawling in first with his back propped up against the headboard. He pats his hand at the small, empty space beside him, an invitation for me to come lay down with him. I feel a weak smile form on my lips as I cuddle up next to him.

"So, Suzu... tell me what's wrong. I'm all ears. I'm glad you're actually comfortable enough with me to come wake me up." He flashes me another one of those signature grins. Such a mood lifter.

I give him the long rundown of my nightmare. I still continue to shake and grimace at how I was feeling about the entire thing, my emotions getting the best of me at multiple points. I also explain why it hurt me so much to be put into that situation once again. He simply wrapped his arm around my shoulder and brought me closer to him, giving me encouraging squeezes and such throughout my pathetic tale. His face looks sad for the majority of the story, but lightens up once I mention Miki and him being the solution to my problem. The story leads into some other light hearted conversation that helps my emotions get back in check. Well, at least for a brief moment, before he brings up something completely different.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question, Suzu?"

"Go for it."

"Earlier today, when Miki brought up the word lovebirds..." Oh no. Come on Hisao, really? Right now? Why do you have to do this to me! "...you got all panicked and hurried out of the door. What was up with that?" How am I supposed to answer this? Am I supposed to finally tell the boy how I feel about him? I don't even know.

"Well, you see, uh... she just.. I just.." Oh boy, here it goes. "Um, Hisao, IthinkIloveyou." I rifle out the statement and turn away from him, not wanting to look into his eyes. My embarrassment is off the charts, and I feel as if I had just admitted to robbing a bank. He reaches his off hand, as his other arm is still occupied in keeping me cuddled up next to him, and takes my chin in between his thumb and index finger, turning my head to face him once again. I look down, my cheeks on fire, as he opens his mouth to speak again.

"You think you love me, or you know you love me?" Wait, what? Why would he ask me a question like that?

"I know I that I love you." I'm very stern with my response. I'm neck deep now, and there's no coming back, so I figure I might as well just let it all out now. I really doubt that-

Now he's kissing me. On the lips. My eyes are wide open in shock of what was happening to me. My fantasy is finally starting to come true! I can't believe what's going on. After a moment, my eyes close and I kiss back, bringing a smile to his face as he pulls away. His hand smoothly runs up and down along the left side of my face, our foreheads touching. His cheeks are bright red in color, as are mine, but I don't even care about that right now. I feel as if I could conquer the world right now. He pulls his head back from mine, and rubs the back of his neck with his right hand.

"I was going to, well... ask you to be my girlfriend at the end of the stay here, as Miki already knew." You bitch. No freaking wonder she called us lovebirds, trying to give me more of a hint than him. You sly, sly little girl you. His face is still grinning widely, as I can feel a goofy smile rising on my lips. "So, since we've already, uh... kissed and all, maybe now would be the better time to do it."

"Suzu, will you be my girlfri-!" I cut him off with a massive hug that pushes his back down onto the bed, giggling like a little girl in the process. I push my lips onto his, feeling his smile as we kiss once again.

"Does that answer your question?"

"I think it does." He strokes my hair and gives me his signature grin once more, before reaching to turn the light out. With my head resting on his chest and my arms wrapped around him, I fall back into darkness once again. Only this time, I'm not scared anymore. I know once I wake up, he'll still be there.

Hopefully he'll be there for a very, very long time.


'Summertime' is a song produced by Smote

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/15]

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:07 pm
by YourFavAnon
Belong

It's really cold outside today. Sitting on the porch of my home in the dead middle of winter, my breath is thick and visible in the freezing air. I'm expecting a visitor today, a man I've only been in contact with for the past two years over phone, text and e-mail. I take exhale smoke that I've extracted from the cigarette that is present inbetween my middle and index fingers. This is actually the most excited I've been since the day I went to his wedding, which was nearly four years ago now. Hard to believe that this boy - rather, now a man - has grown up so quickly. I remember the days of being his mentor back at Yamaku, the first time ever that I had made a connection with one of my students. His interest in science was incredible, more than any other student that I had taught in the past. It's amazing what less than a full school year together did for our bond; not just as a teacher to student bond, but as a friendly one.

This time of year up here is so gorgeous. I've been retired now for just over two years, and I can't say I haven't enjoyed it. Of course, I miss teaching others about my true passion in life, but it feels great to finally have some time to escape from everything. I still have been in touch with some of my former students, making an appearance at a few weddings and bachelor parties. I still occasionally make the journey down south for a night of drinking at Kenji's bar that he owns. It's nice to see him, as crazy as he is, even though I never actually had the privilege of having him as a student. He was and still is a very close friend of Hisao's though, so I ended up meeting him mutually after the two of them graduated. I also still find it hilarious how he managed to marry Yamaku's school librarian, Yuuko.

I guess sometimes, love knows no boundaries.

A little smile forms on my lips as snow continues to lay on the ground a few feet away from me. If I didn't have a little roof on this porch, I doubt I'd be outside this morning. This time of year, though, is my favorite. I prefer it cold rather than hot, just as I also love the picture perfect setting outside when it snows. I've still got about an hour until Hisao said he'd be here. He told me that he'd taken the day off to come pay me a visit, as we needed to catch up. It makes me feel really good that someone, who I might as well consider my best friend, was willing to take the day off just to come pay me a visit for the first time in two years. I know he's a terribly busy man. He works at a medical research facility in Tokyo, and is married to a beautiful girl who I can proudly say I taught as well. He told me on the phone earlier this morning that it was going to just be him coming up today, as Shizune seven months pregnant with their first child. Knowing that the two of them met in my class still makes me smile.

I stare out into the street that I live on. Quiet as a ghost town, just as I like it. I take a sip of my coffee and sit back into my chair, just as I see a young man walking up the sidewalk in the distance. He must have taken the early train today, because he got here a slight bit early, but that's not a problem. I smile as he walks up the path onto my porch, and wrap him in a big hug. It feels so good to see him again.

I give him a big pat on the back before we break away, a big grin on his face.

"How's it going, Mutou?" I hate when he calls me by my last name. We're far past formailities, yet he's always insisted on calling me as that's what he was used to back in high school. I guess some things really don't ever change.

"You know I hate when you call me Mutou, Hisao. Why can't you just call me Akio like everyone else does?" It's a somewhat playful shot at him, as he knows it bothers me, but I've sort of gotten past it. "Let's go inside and chat a bit, I've got some coffee and biscuits prepared if you're interested."

We step out of the below freezing temperatures outside into my home. It's not the largest place, but it really doesn't need to be. My ex-wife and I divorced seven years ago, and our kid is grown up to the point where she already has a family of her own. I think I enjoy having Hisao around in my life because he's practically the son that I never had. We head into the kitchen and Hisao takes a seat at my small table. I pour him some coffee and slide the mug across the table before taking a seat across from him, facing him and looking at him for the first time in a long while.

His eyes have bags under them. He must lack a lot of good rest because of the various hours that he must work while at the research facility. His face that was once that of a smooth teenage is now specked by some short facial hair, and his brown mop of hair that he used to have is now cut much shorter. He shoots me a weird look, and I realize that I was staring at him without saying anything. To break the silence, I figure I should speak up.

"So Hisao, what's the news? It feels like I haven't had a face to face conversation with you in what feels like a century." I feel kind of bad for saying that. I know that he enjoys spending time with me, just as he does with all of his friends, but his job restricts him. Not to mention, having a deaf, pregnant wife who can be quite a bit 'bossy' isn't the most ideal situation for him either. He has other priorities that come before seeing friends, especially ones that don't live close to him. He only caught a break today because that Shiina Mikado girl - I believe he told me to just call her Misha - is back in the area for a two week trip back home. I can't remember exactly what he told me about her, but I believe he said she went off to the United States to persue her next level of education.

"Well, same old shit as I've been telling you over the phone, I suppose," he begins, releasing a sigh as he talks. "The queen is on her high horse as Misha came back home for a nice, surprise visit from America. Her horomones have been making the past two or so months of my life a living hell. She can't work and is frustrated that she has to stay at home all day long, so when I get home every night she's always in a pissy mood. I love the woman, but I really can't wait until this kid is out of her system..."

I laugh hard at his expense. It's a funny tale, knowing that he never really was one to deal with heavy amounts of stress well. Reminds me exactly of how my wife acted when she was pregnant with our only child. To be honest, if I had heard all of these stories without actually knowing Hisao, I would have called him a clone. The boy shares my passion for science, is handling his wife's pregnancy the same that I did and isn't the most enthusiastic type of guy out there. Maybe that's why I like having him so much as a friend; he's basically a younger, more inexperienced version of me. I reach across the table and give his head a good rustle with my hand, a light hearted smile on my lips. As much of a negative guy as I am, I can't help but be happy when this guy is around.

"Boy, you're reacting the same way I did when my wife was pregnant. I understand you also have to deal with a slight obstacle in terms of her deafness, but this sounds like you're telling me a story that I've already heard once." I raise my mug off coffee to him before taking a sip. A smooth, black roast, just as I've always preferred. I can see Hisao is fidgeting a bit on the other side of a table, as if he's got something nagging him.

"What's on your mind, son?" I never quite understood why I began calling him 'son' on occasion, but it only feels natural to me now. It hasn't ever bothered him too much, so I've always continued to use the moniker on occasion. "I can tell you've got something you want to get out."

"Well, there's an extremely important reason that I'm here today, and it's not just to hang out with you," he starts, sort of taking me off guard with the ending portion. I mean, we're going to end up hanging out all day anyways, but what other reason is there for him to be here with me today?

"As you know, the baby is due in just another month. Shizune and I have had an extremly in depth discussion about something important to our child's future." I'm sort of at a lost right now. What could I possibly have to do with this at all? I'm not a relative of the two or even a close friend of the soon to be mother...

My thoughts trail off as he continues.

"We came to the conclusion that you would most certainly be the best man for the job. So, Akio, I was wondering if you would be interested in being the godfather of our first child." My heart skips a beat. He wants me to be the godfather of his first born child? I don't even know what to think, as my eyes stare widely into his and my coffee mug rests frozen against my lips.

"What did you just say?"

"I want you to be my first born's godfather. Will you accept? If you're not interested, I'll have-"

"Hisao, I would be honored to be the godfather of your child." I cut him off. There's no need for him to continue with what he was saying. I feel an overwhelming amount of joy wash throughout my body, still a bit of disbelief about what has been asked of me in my head. The man wants me to be the godfather of his child. I get up from the table, as does he, and I wrap him in a massive hug. It feels as if I haven't smiled this much in my entire life, but I can't complain about the feeling. It makes me feel incredible.

A massive grin forms on his face. I believe that this all means so much more to him than I, and to me that's a very good thing. I used to think that he really didn't think of me as more than just a normal old friend, but now I can see he cares about me more than that; he practically cares about me as if I was a part of his family. He's the first to speak as we break our embrace.

"Well then, I suppose you would fancy a night of celebration down at Kenji's place? You can crash at my house for the night and head home tomorrow if you're interested." I give him a heavy laugh. Just like Hisao to bring up a night of drinking with another old friend for celebration.

"Boy, I think you just read my mind."


'Belong' is a song produced by Submerse.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/16]

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:52 pm
by LOL WUT
Well this story came out exelent.

Why do I always get these feels?

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/16]

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:57 pm
by YourFavAnon
LOL WUT wrote:Well this story came out exelent.

Why do I always get these feels?
Thanks for the kind words.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/16]

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:31 am
by Scissorlips
Summertime:
A very cute little story, it of course reminds me of Hisao's tirp to Hokkaido in Lilly's route, which takes place about a month or two after his arrival there. I kind of have to wonder how he went that long without getting romantically attached to anyone, but I suppose the same could be said for Lilly's route, that wasn't until act 3, he must have been beta as hell.
It was depressing that Suzu missed pretty much the entire day at the beach, and it was interesting how you explored her loneliness (spelling there, by the way). There's a few other typos here and there, but nothing that I can recall right now. The scene were she appears at his door was adorable. Usage of the "L" word (love) is... complicated. Lilly's route is probably where it shows up the earliest I believe, and it also follows the more ideal love story more closely. It also has a very Japanese storytelling flavor with the following H-scene. In the other routes, the word "love" is generally used much more carefully, which gives it a more realistic feeling because it tends to scare the crap out of people in real life.
Rambling. Basically what I'm saying is, dealing with things like that is a way to make your situations more realistic or more idyllic, depending on your goals.

Belong:
Also an enjoyable read. I don't quite know if Mutou would call Misha "that Shiina Mikado girl", seeing as he was her teacher for who knows how long before Hisao even showed up. I liked the snapshot we got of Hisao, Kenji and Mutou's life after Yamaku, although the relationship between Hisao and Mutou almost feels a little too warm, a little too Hallmark, if that makes sense. Mutou is often described as an awkward individual, his heart is in the right place but he lacks a certain finesse when dealing with people. Even though they've had a long time to grow close by now, the scene still comes off as a little over the top, noticeably when Mutou begins crying a little too quickly. Still a good story, and emotional scenes require some time, effort and practice to nail them down, I know that well.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I read the third part of The Counterattack and enjoyed it quite a lot, although I was expecting Hisao to at least try to leg it there at the end. You're beginning to become quite prolific, and it's good to see. Keep it up.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/16]

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:29 am
by YourFavAnon
Scissorlips wrote:Summertime:
A very cute little story, it of course reminds me of Hisao's tirp to Hokkaido in Lilly's route, which takes place about a month or two after his arrival there. I kind of have to wonder how he went that long without getting romantically attached to anyone, but I suppose the same could be said for Lilly's route, that wasn't until act 3, he must have been beta as hell.
It was depressing that Suzu missed pretty much the entire day at the beach, and it was interesting how you explored her loneliness (spelling there, by the way). There's a few other typos here and there, but nothing that I can recall right now. The scene were she appears at his door was adorable. Usage of the "L" word (love) is... complicated. Lilly's route is probably where it shows up the earliest I believe, and it also follows the more ideal love story more closely. It also has a very Japanese storytelling flavor with the following H-scene. In the other routes, the word "love" is generally used much more carefully, which gives it a more realistic feeling because it tends to scare the crap out of people in real life.
Rambling. Basically what I'm saying is, dealing with things like that is a way to make your situations more realistic or more idyllic, depending on your goals.

Belong:
Also an enjoyable read. I don't quite know if Mutou would call Misha "that Shiina Mikado girl", seeing as he was her teacher for who knows how long before Hisao even showed up. I liked the snapshot we got of Hisao, Kenji and Mutou's life after Yamaku, although the relationship between Hisao and Mutou almost feels a little too warm, a little too Hallmark, if that makes sense. Mutou is often described as an awkward individual, his heart is in the right place but he lacks a certain finesse when dealing with people. Even though they've had a long time to grow close by now, the scene still comes off as a little over the top, noticeably when Mutou begins crying a little too quickly. Still a good story, and emotional scenes require some time, effort and practice to nail them down, I know that well.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I read the third part of The Counterattack and enjoyed it quite a lot, although I was expecting Hisao to at least try to leg it there at the end. You're beginning to become quite prolific, and it's good to see. Keep it up.
About spelling and stuff, yeah, they'll be there because I generally don't go back and edit until someone mentions something to me. I try to not re-read a lot of my one-shot writings, because I always find something I don't like and want to completely rewrite the story.

Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed the Suzu one. It was interesting trying to capture how I imagined Suzu's personality, which I tried to make her come off as a bit awkward and a good bit like a typical high school romantic. As for Belong, it was just sort of an idea that popped in my head yesterday morning. I was hoping to actually take the day off from writing as I needed to get some more ideas, but this one was too good to pass up. What I was trying to with the whole 'that Shiina Mikado girl' line was to imply that she annoyed the ever loving fuck out of him during his time teaching her. About the really vanilla feeling with Mutou, I kind of wanted to indirectly create this idea that he lightened up a bit after retirement, as he had time to move on from his past woes (such as divorce). I also wanted to create this sort of thought that, to him, Hisao was basically like a son to him, so when he asked him to take the role it really got to him. Maybe a little out of character, sure, but that's why the story isn't canon. I may make some changes now though, just to see if there's a better way to make the scene without taking him too far out of his character.

I'm also glad that you enjoyed Part 3, it was pretty enjoyable to write. I thought about making him run, but I figured being the beta he is he might as well just let it happen.

Also, I hope you don't mind me stealing your idea for using songs as titles.

I don't think I'm too much of a prolific to be honest. I just write when something comes to mind, which is why most of my writings generally don't have any substantial length to them. I just write when something sounds like it could work out.

Thanks for the good feedback as always, though.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/16]

Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:51 am
by YourFavAnon
Note to reader: This story contains erotic content.

Always, Like This


I still haven't come to grips that this woman is my wife. I shoot a quick glance at the gorgeous lady walking beside me, her hand interlocked with mine as we walk along the pier that runs down the shoreline. Our honeymoon as been nothing short of spectacular. Fantastic shows, amazing food, quality time alone with the love of my life? I've been secretly cursing the end of our little excursion here. This entire week has been filled with events that I feel have only drawn us two closer together, as we have taken a massive jump forward in our lives. I wanted to wait until we were both graduated from university before asking her to marry me, and that's exactly what happened. Shizune and I had moved in with each other for about half a year and established well paying jobs along the way. To think just a year later that we are happily married still hasn't settled in my mind.

We continue to walk down the pier hand in hand, with her occasionally slowing down to point out something interesting or to give me a pouty face as I check out some of the... uh, some of the wonderful 'scenery' along the shoreline. It's starting to get into the late evening hours, and many of the residents or tourists in the area are heading back home or getting ready to immerse themselves in the local night life. Shizune and I on the other hand? We're just walking together, headed towards the private section of the beach. Jigoro instisted that we have our honeymoon here at this beach in America, simply because he had business connections in the area that would give us a nice place to stay and free entry to some of the local night life. To be honest though, this week hasn't been much about us going out and getting wasted at a club or something of that sort; it's been more or less the most romantically involved Shizune has ever gotten with me. Her competitive nature has seemed to have taken a back seat for the time being, as she has been unusually kind and sweet this entire week.She also apparently has a little surprise for me tonight, so that's why we're walking down towards the private beach. She refuses to tell me why we're heading here, so I'm honestly at a loss.

As we arrive at the empty section of the shoreline, I notice a blanket laid out neatly on the sand. Along beside it is small basket, which contains a bottle of what looks like red wine and two expensive looking glasses. So, this was her surprise, huh? A romantic night under the stars, on the beach with a bottle of wine. I can't complain, but this just seems so out of character for her. I sit down on the blanket, while Shizune on the other hand lays down with her head resting in my lap. I look up into the newly turned night sky and look at the stars, which are in abundance. I take a look down at the head resting in my lap, and take notice that she's been watching me this entire time. I figure it may be time to ask her a couple of things.

[Shizune,] I start signing as she adjusts her body to see what I'm saying to her. [What's up with you as of late? I'm not saying that in a bad way at all, but why are you all of the sudden being so sweet and knd?] It's an honest question. The girl has been acting so unusual this entire trip, and I still haven't got a clue why. She blushes a bit, before signing back.

[You'll probably laugh at me if I tell you why.] Laugh at her? Normally if I laugh at her, she smacks me over the back of the head, so I had no real intention of doing that.

[I won't laugh at you.]

[Promise?]

[Promise.] I give her a little kiss on the lips for reassurance, which earns me an embarrassed smile in return.

She lets out a little sigh, before continuing on. [Hisao, have you put any thought into what it means for us to be married?] What an odd question. I'll be honest, I haven't really thought of us as a married couple any differently as when we were just dating or engaged.

[To be quite honest, not really.] I shrug afterwards, just to add a little emphasis. She rolls her eyes a little, then marches onward.

[It's all I've been able to think about since our wedding day. You've probably noticed that I've been nicer, sweeter, whatever you want to call it. It's all because I've sort of had a revelation about us.] She pauses for a moment, gathering her thoughts a little bit. What kind of revelation could she have made just from us getting married? It's honestly not that much different than when we were engaged. Her face is turning a slight bit red as I continue to look into her eyes, and a little smile creeps up onto her lips before she continues with her signing.

[We're not longer just two kids that were once blindly in love with each other. We're now a family, something that is completely different than just being a couple. It's something that I hope we'll be for the rest of our lives, and if keeping us together for that long means I have to change a little bit, so be it.] She's blushing a lot now, to the point that I find it overly adorable. I've never seen with her mind so set on one particular goal, as her eyes have lit up with a passion that I haven't seen since we were in student council back at Yamaku. It's really hard to believe that was over five years ago now.

[Shizune, you know for a fact that I'll accept you regardless of how you act around me. I love you too much to ever really have a changing opinion of you.]

[But, I know that sometimes I treat you like absolute shit.] She's really blunt about that. I'll agree, sometimes she can treat me badly, but that comes with the stress of her job, on top of the fact that she was planning our entire wedding on her own. [It's not fair that you get so romantically involved with me sometimes while I just turn my back and get angry or become overly mean to you I really don't want to be like that anymore.]

[Why not? This wasn't a problem before, and it still isn't one to me. You don't have to change for my sake.]

[Hisao, it's because I love you.]

She turns away from me and looks off into the distance, out over the vast mass of water before us. The stars shine brightly tonight, illuminating the waves as they crash onto the shoreline. I wrap my arms around her shoulders as she continues to face away from me, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her neck. She turns her head to look at me, and I notice that her cheeks are stained with tears. This is a sight completely unusual to me, as she hadn't even cried at our wedding. But, the talk about us being a family, us being together... It all seems to have really gotten to her. I wipe a tear away from her cheek and lightly kiss her on the lips, before she turns her body completely around and forces my upper body down onto the ground.

She has me pinned to the ground, her thighs straddling my lower body. She leans down quickly and we lock lips once again, only this time with more fire and passion. Our tongues begin getting involved, dancing together like the waves out in the ocean before us. She breaks the kiss and looks at me, a passionate fire burning in her eyes.

[This might have been the other reason I brought you here.]

I laugh heavily. She brought me here so that we could have sex on the beach? Sounds like a wonderful idea to me. She signs at me once again, telling me something that makes my eyes go wide for a moment.

[I don't want this time to be about domination or a competition. I want this time, just this one time, to be about love. Nothing more, nothing less.] My eyes look into hers for a moment, as I'm in complete shock. No domination or competiton? She really is willing to try and change a little bit. As thoughts continue to flood my head, I notice that she's already unbuttoning her red blouse and tossing it onto the sand beside our blanket. She stands up and removes her black skirt shortly after, her nearly naked body illuminated by the moon behind her. Her typical black lingerie is something that I'll never stop getting excited over, as it just makes her curves and bust stand out over everything else.

I stand up and wrap my arms around her, reaching around to undo the latch on her bra. During the process, she's started unbuttoning my dress shirt and khaki pants, tossing them carelessly off towards the ever amounting pile of clothing beside our blanket. Once we've finished undressing, she backs away from me for just a moment. Her nude body is an amazing sight to me; her modest chest, her perfect curves, her gorgeous face... It's always been a sight that I can't stop smiling at. She blushes a bit, before moving forward towards the blanket once again. She envelops me in her arms, her breasts rubbing up against my bare chest. She stares into my eyes before giving me a long kiss on the lips. No tongue involved this time, just a kiss of pure interest and love. She backs off and lays down on the blanket once again, her back on the ground for the first time in what feels like ages. She motions me to come to her, as I have no problem doing. I position myself between her legs, but before beginning the main part of our little adventure, she signs something at me.

[Remember boy, no teasing or little games. Just sex.]

I smile at her. Now that I think about it, we've never just had 'sex'. It's all been about domination, competition and winning something. Now, under the stars and on the beach, with only the sound of waves crashing nearby, she wants to try something different. She grabs hold of me and gently, rather than aggressively, slides me inside of her. She lets out a series of light moans as I begin moving my hips, her eyes closed and mouth wide open as I thrust forward. I start off slowly for our standards, savoring every moment as if this was our very first time. I lean my body closer to hers, placing my lips against hers. I slowly caress the right side of her body with my hand, running it gently along her side, hip and down to her thigh. I feel her lip quiver as I continue to slide in between her legs, her eyes forced shut with continual winces during every little movement. Maybe we should take things this slow on occasion, as it seems to be quite pleasureable to her.

We continue on, her legs now wrapped around my back and our heads apart for the time being. I look at her face and smile a bit, as her breathing picks up to an even faster pace.

"...nngh!" She releases a fairly loud moan as I pick up my pace to a slightly faster one, a speed that seems to draw her to her peak. She continues to breathe very unevenly, as I mix up the speed of my movemnts a bit to catch her off guard. I move my hand in between her legs to toss her a bit of a curveball, rubbing my index finger against the small nub at the peak of her slit. This draws her to start squirming a bit underneath of me, as she now moves her bottom to slightly add to my pleasure. Both of us are now in sync with our motions, our movements meeting and moving apart in rhythm. As we both approach climax, she wraps her legs around my back even tighter, something that catches me off guard. I hastily pick up my thrusts to a faster pace, as does she, and within one blinding moment our fluids join together inside of her. My mind goes white for a long moment, the sensation of our joint climax overwhelming me.

When I finally come back to reality, I can see her breathing heavily, but smiling with her eyes closed. I slide myself out of her and lay down to her side. She sits up for a moment and turns to me, a cute blush perched on her cheeks and a smile forming on her lips. She reaches into the basket containing the wine and pulls out another blanket. She obviously had intentions of spending our last night on the beach rather than back at our little beach home. Laying back down beside me, she covers our still naked bodies with the blanket before wrapping me in an embrace, resting her head on my chest. A smile is still present on her lips as she closes her eyes and, shortly after, falls into a light slumber.

Sometimes, you don't need words to describe how you're feeling in the moment.



'Always, Like This' is a song produced by Submerse.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/19]

Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:31 pm
by LOL WUT
I was about to go all story critic on you, until I remembered that I have not done Shizune's path, so it is not my place to judge.

I can still say this:

Good story as always.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/19]

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 4:10 am
by Mirage_GSM
It's always been a site that I can't stop smiling at.
Homophones are the enemy.
She continues to breath very unevenly,
Missing an "e" here...
before wrapping me in and embrace
and there's one "d" too many here.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/19]

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:55 am
by YourFavAnon
Mirage_GSM wrote:
It's always been a site that I can't stop smiling at.
Homophones are the enemy.
She continues to breath very unevenly,
Missing an "e" here...
before wrapping me in and embrace
and there's one "d" too many here.
Yeah, I normally don't go back and spell check to often simply because I get the urge to completely change my stories. Thanks for catching those for me.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/19]

Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 9:23 pm
by YourFavAnon
Note that I know this isn't my best writing, I just had to write something short for this idea that's been in my head for a while. The pacing may seem way off and stuff, but oh well.

Really?


I wonder if anyone has ever gotten suspicious about Suzu coming into the male dorms so many times a week, mainly after curfew. I mean, she comes in a point where a few guys are still up and relaxing down in the common area, blowing by them without a word to come up to my room. It used to be because of nightmares and her wanting to cuddle up with me in bed, but recently...

Well, recently it's become a bit more intimate than that.

We haven't actually gone all the way yet, but we've tried a few things. It's an interesting experience, to say the least. She seems to enjoy it more than I do actually, and that's not to go saying that I dislike what we're doing. She's actually fairly good at it, for us both being inexperienced. We haven't really gone and said that having sex was out of the question, though, as I'm certainly up to the idea if she would happen to be. That's also not to say that we try something every night she comes over, as she still does come over after a bad nightmare or when she just wants to cuddle up to my 'soft and warm' body, as she's told me before.

Now, here she stands in my doorway, wrapped in her usual blanket and dressed in her normal bed clothes. She gives me a bashful smile tonight, knowing she really doesn't have to explain her presence as this hour. Her face still always turns a light red color in the cheeks when I open the door, as she has always been a bit awkward and on the shyer side of things. I give her a tired smile, wrapping the figure in my doorway in a gentle hug. With that, I break off and turn my body to the side to give her a clear path into my room, bowing and resting my stomach on my forearm. She laughs with her voice showing a tiny bit of rasp; it's been going slightly hoarse over the past few weeks with her more frequent walks over to my room. It is mid winter, so it's not really surprising to me.

"Always such a gentleman aren't you, my darling?" She flashes me a cute smile before stepping past me and into my room. She drags her body over to my bed and situates herself in her usual spot, which just so happens to be the half of the bed that's up against the wall. She doesn't bother putting herself under my covers and pats her hand on the empty space beside her, an open invitation for me to join her. I shuffle on over and lay myself down beside her, wrapping her in my embrace after I get myself situated. She faces her body towards me before putting her arms around my waist, pulling herself closer to my body. Once our bodies are together, she rests her forhead against mine and closes her eyes for a moment, rubbing the tip of her nose against mine. She's really into the cutesy, lovey-dovey stuff, and I can't say I'm against it in any way, shape or form.

"So, my love, what brings you here tonight?" I question, knowing the responses to this question are basically limited to three possibilities.

"Honestly, no real reason. I had a good dream for the first time in years before waking up and coming over here, you know?" She prods at me, knowing I'll want to know what it was about.

"Oh really? Well then, why don't you tell me a bit about it?" I respond back playfully before planting a light kiss on her forehead. She blushes a darker shade of red than the one that had shown on her cheeks in my doorway, stumbling a bit as she begins her story.

"W-well, the dream actually had you in it." She's certainly caught my attention with that. It's quite an intersting feeling to have a girl admit that she had a dream about you. Her admitting this actually brings some heat up to my cheeks, as I can feel myself blushing while she stares into my eyes. She lets out a little girlish giggle before continuing on with the story.

"In the dream, we were on a beach. It was literally just us, the ocean, the sand and the sky. We actually just ended up holding hands and walking along the shoreline for a while, something that I can... Well, I guess I can say I would absolutely love to do with you some day." Her face lights up at this idea being brought up, giving me a possible idea for our next summer vacation.

Her next movement catches me completely off guard, though. She rolls her body over top of mine and leans down to kiss me on the lips. The kiss is filled with a sort of lust and passion that I've only felt during our nights of 'fooling around', so I can tell where this is going. Before continuing on with our antics, she parts her lips from mine. Her face looks as if she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar as a child. To be honest, it's an insanely cute look on her. I stare into her eyes with a puzzled look on my face, not only at the sudden change of events, but also as to why she looks so embarrassed.

"What's up?" I question, a bit confused at the abrupt changes that have occurred within the past few moments.

"Uh, w-well... the dream may or may n-not have been the only reason I came over here tonight. In fact I... well, I..."

"Spit it out, dear. No point in stopping now."

"I was wondering if you wanted to try having... erm, well you know... t-tonight?" She stumbles over her words as she finally gets the question out into the air. My heart starts racing, as my mind continues to try to wrap around the question she just asked me. She looks away from me out of embarrassment, which causes me to let out a little laugh. I pull my hand up from her waist and turn her head to face mine, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed, you know that right?" She smiles lightly at me, her cheeks still a very rosey shade of red. "On a serious note though, I'm comfortable with doing whatever you want. You know that."

"W-well then, let's give this a try..."

I take myself out from under her for a brief moment to go searching for a pack of condoms that I had purchased the other week. Honestly, you never know when you're going to need them. Unfortunately, it appears that I can't find the box. I continue rummaging through my things, going on a scavenger hunt to find the item. After a good five minutes of searching, I triumphantly return the bed with the foil package.

We situate ourselves as we had before, me on the bottom with her positioned on top. She has already gone through the process of removing her clothing, only her red and white striped bra remaining on. My pants have also found their way on the ground, my length resting right outside of the gateway between her legs. As I go to slide myself in, I feel her body - which was upright - go limp. She begins falling down on top of me, her torso slamming down onto my hands as I protect myself from the fall.

So, after all of the trouble we just went through, she passes out right before we get into it. A bit disappointed, I slide her body off of mine and put her underwear back on her, right before getting up and putting mine back on. I slide into bed next to the peaceful girl and cover us both with my quilt, turning my bedside lamp off and wrapping my arms around her waist. As I pull her body in close to me once again, just as we were to start this cycle, I can't help but think of one word:

Really?

Image

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/23]

Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:05 pm
by LOL WUT
-Snickers-

Hehehe.

I kinda feel bad for Hisao.
Not alot though since my pity is drowned by my laughter.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/23]

Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:56 pm
by YourFavAnon
Enjoy the wonderful piece of art that Thighs did for my last piece.

http://i.imgur.com/vZLq5.png

Note that this one is original size, I resized the one for the actual post.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [New Story 7/23]

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 6:02 pm
by YourFavAnon
Color The Sky


"Hisao, get your ass in gear! We're going to be late!" Typical Miki. She doesn't even know where I'm taking her on our anniversary dinner tonight, yet she's yelling at me to get ready faster. The reservation is for 7:30 this evening, and it's only 6:30 as of now. I toss on my button down, white dress shirt, followed by my only black tuxedo that I own. I figure that this is a good enough occasion to wear a tuxedo rather than a sweatervest, knowing that Miki would be absolutely furious if I walked out of this room in my usual apparel. I take a quick peak my reflection in the body length mirror that we have in our bedroom, satisfied with my look for the evening. I ponder the possibilities of how she's gotten dressed, as I haven't gotten a chance to see how she's dressed yet. She said it was going to be a 'surprise'.

It's almost an insane thought, you know? Knowing that her and I have been married now for a year. It's crazy to think about, considering I proposed the day that she decided to come and move in with me. We only had the opportunity to see each other on breaks and weekends during our university days, as her school was a good two hour train ride up north from where I studied at. The day she graduated, though, she was on a train down to my apartment with all of her belongings in tow, ready to move in with me. Pretty incredible how fast of a revelation she came to that she wanted to live with me, as we had only discussed it about a week prior and had never even come to a joint decision about it. I can't say I complained though, as I really wanted her to come live with me anyways.

So, when she arrived that Saturday at nine in the morning, literally waking me up with the loudest knocking I've heard in my life, I knew it was about time to propose. Maybe I shouldn't have done it that day, as I hadn't really put any though into it, but I did. She accepted as was expected, and just months later we were happily married. I lightly reminisce of our early days during our university years, even back to some of our experiences at Yamaku.

Another loud knock and frustrated mumbling from Miki. I decide that maybe later would be a better time to think about the past, as right now I should be focused on my wife. I open the door and am met by the relieved gaze of what appears to be an angel. Her hair is done up into a bun, followed by her face having a light amount of makeup on it. Her extravagantly toned body is covered by a cascading rose shaded red dress. The bottom portion of the dress has a slit that reveals one of her legs, toned from the years of morning runs. All of this is topped off by a pair of black heels, something that I can honestly say I never thought I'd see her in.

I come back to reality, just in time to realize that Miki is blushing heavily. I'm stunned by the gift that stands before. I wrap my arms around her waist and draw her in for a kiss, which seems to have caught her slightly off guard. No matter, though, as we gently kiss, her lips meeting mine. I honestly wish that we could go a bit further than just what we're doing at the moment, and contemplate this option for a moment. She pulls away first, staring up into my eyes with a big grin perched on her face.
"Save it for later, lover boy. We've got dinner to take care of first." She winks at me playfully and releases her arms from around my neck. I don't release her from my embrace yet, though.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, my darling." I think I enjoy calling her things like 'dear' and 'darling', as terribly cliché as it sounds. It always manages to make her blush or look away from me, an embarrassed smile on her lips. Just as expected, a blush rises on her face, as she leans in and gives me a soft kiss.

"Well then, shall we be going?" I offer my arm to her, which she graciously accepts. She gives me a smile, and I lead the two of us out of the apartment and onto the busy sidewalks of the city. Seeing as we're actually within walking distance of the resturaunt, I decide there's no need to drive or call a taxi to take us there. Within about five minutes, we arrive outside of a fancy looking building, with a sign that reads 'The Red Dragon'. A terribly boring name, but from what I've heard of this place and a suggestion from Suzu to take her here, I figured it'd be worth a shot. As we enter, the first thing I notice is the amount of money that had to be spent crafting it. Waterfalls cascading down walls, pillars that appear to be made out of marble running from the floor to the ceiling, dim lighting from various chandeliers and carpet that honestly looks like it could be velvet are just some of the things that catch my eye. A hostess comes up to us and looks at us expectantly.

"Hello there, we have a reservation for two under 'Nakai'."

"Ah, yes sir, your table is ready. Please follow me this way."

After a short walk, we arrive and are seated at a table for two towards the back corner of the dining room, a table in front of a window that overlooks a the street and night life that are just a short distance below us. Our table is covered in a nice and fancy white tablecloth, with a candle resting in the middle. A bottle of wine is also present, as I requested while calling to make the reservation. I take the opener beside the bottle and take out the cork, filling up Miki's glass and my own.

"Should I make a toast?" I ask, a legitimate question.

"Why not?"

"Alright then. This drink is to us, my dear. To our first full year as a family, our first year of being together under the same roof and to many more years of love between us." I try to put a lot of emotion into the last portion of our toast. She knows very well how much I love her, and I know how much she loves me. I'm hoping that it never has to come to an end.

"Hisao, you're such a gaylord. You know that? But you're my gaylord, so I'll go along with what you're saying. Cheers, love." She raises her glass as I do and they gently clash together, the sound of glass connecting ringing through the air. Just as we sip on our glasses of wine, the waitress shows up and takes our meal orders. We have some light discussion while our dinner is prepared, and once it arrives we dig in. The usual 'how's your food?' pops up between us a few times as we eat, but to be honest, the dinner really isn't that eventful in terms of words. I don't know what's gone through her mind tonight, but my mind has been sort of going through the same questions. How the hell did I manage to get married to a girl as beautiful, witty and loving as the one sitting across from me?

"Hey, Miki?" I start, a bit of nervousness in my voice.

"What's up?" I take her hand that was resting on top of the table in between my two, continuing on.

"Why did you choose me?"

"Huh?" She blinks at me with a look of confusion on her face. I know this might not be what she wants to talk about at our anniversary dinner, but now that I think about it...

Well, now that I think about it, she's honestly never told me.

"Why did you choose me? What about it is about me that caught your interest?" I reiterate my question to make sure she actually did hear it this time.

"What brought this up?" She shoots back, raising an eyebrow and resting her chin on the stump of her other arm. She's staring into my eyes like she's honestly interested in me, which is actually one of the biggest reasons why I fell in love with her; she actually took an interest in me as a person.

"No real reason. You haven't ever bothered telling me though, you know?"

"What, are you worried there's someone else in my life?" She jabs at me playfully as she gives me a cute little wink. These kind of jokes are somewhat reassuring, simply because I know she's not that kind of girl. Maybe in the past, maybe before I had arrived at Yamaku all of those years ago, but never afterwards.

"Stop avoiding the question, silly." I toss back, a smirk resting on my lips as I respond.

"Fine. It's going to be a long story though, so I hope you don't mind..." She trails off, looking out the window beside us. Is she being bashful? Just to think that I thought I saw it all with this girl, but she's actually being a bit shy around the subject. This should be good.

"Of course not, my dear."

"Then where should I begin? Our days back at Yamaku maybe? You were just that new kid at first, and I thought you looked a bit lost and helpless," she begins. "But you really weren't. You just needed someone to help you adjust a bit, and that's what I tried to do. You were a really bashful kid big then, y'know? I honestly thought you wouldn't have talked with me, let alone start running with me when Emi scared you off." She laughs fairly hard at this. She knows that Emi absolutely terrified me when I gave running with her a shot, so I sort of ran away from and decided to run with her instead.

"But then the festival came. You remember that day? Sharing our first kiss as we parted from each other for the evening.." She blushes a bit at this, a gentle smile finding its way to her lips. "And with that, we were dating. I know you were bothered by the amount of guys I hung out with back then, but once you got past that, everything was amazing between us. I can't help but smile about the times we had at Yamaku. The movie nights, the dinner dates, the running sessions, the nights we spent together..." She trails off a bit in thought of old times, a distant look in her eyes as I stare into them. She quickly collects herself and starts once again.

"You were my second half, that person there that just filled the void for me. I was in love with you, and when we had to spend some time apart during college, I was honestly a wreck." My eyes go wide. Miki? A wreck? Why hasn't she told me this before? She never cried when we spoke on the phone, when we did a webcam chat, or any of that. She always was as perky as ever. Was I just oblivious to what was really going on in her mind?

"I never really realized how much I needed you to be there for me until we spent all of that time apart. The weekends and breaks we spent together during our university years were what kept me sane. I needed your body, your warmth, your... god dammit, I am really sounding cliché as hell aren't I?" This makes me giggle a bit, but she looks uncomfortable. She looks as if she has something that she really wants to say, but she's holding back out of embarrassment.

"Nothing wrong with being a bit cliché, darling. Might as well get it all out now that you've started, you know?"

"Fine." She pouts a bit, but a smile slowly makes it's way back to her lips. I give her hand a little squeeze to show her that I'm paying attention, listening with my mind and heart open to her. "Those weekends made me think back to my days before you arrived at Yamaku. Yeah, I had Suzu and a bunch of classmates who were friends, but... that's what the problem was, y'know? They were just friends and nothing else, they were just people who weren't really interested in me; they were just interested in my body and personality."

"You know that you were my first. In fact, you were my first everything: kiss and well... all of that other good stuff." She gives me a playful wink, before marching onward. "But you were also the first person who was honestly intrigued in me. My past, my present, hell, even my future were all of concern to you. You weren't just going after me for sex or something idiotic like that; you were going after me because you geniunely cared about me. I never thought that there would ever been someone out there like that, but apparently there was."

"So, as I was saying before, those weeks we spent apart during our university years were extremely difficult for me. Not having someone to be there for me every day wasn't cutting it , so much to the point that I decided that if you ever had asked me to move in with you even during our college years, I would have been all over it. I needed you probably worse than you needed me at that point our lives, as strange and backward as it sounds." She gives me a playful jab to the shoulder with her stump. Her eyes seem to be burning with some sort of passion that I've never seen before in her, something that is so uncharacteristic of her that it's actually making me think a lot. She cuts off my thoughts as she starts talking once again.

"The day came where I graduated, I was ready to get the hell out of there. Not that I didn't love the place in terms of location and what I was learning, as it got me completely prepared for the real world... it's just, I was ready to be back with you. I was ready to be able to spend every night next to you again, so that's why..." She trails off, her face scrunching up in what seems to be a bit of frustration.

"What's wrong?"

"I moved into your place without us really agreeing on anything, didn't I?" I burst out in laughter, drawing the attention of a few other people enjoying their fancy dinner to me. It's hysterical because she just now realizes that she moved in without us really even putting that much discussion into it. She shoots me the best pouty face that she can and my laughter begins to subside a bit.

"Good thing I loved you enough to let you stay anyways, huh?"

"Yeah... I guess you're right." She slips her hand out from inbetween mine, as I still had it placed between my two as she finally admitted to why she chose me. She seems to be looking at the wedding ring on her finger, flashing her pearly white teeth as she stares into the diamond. She looks back at me before reaching up placing my chin inbetween her fingers, her standing up a little out of her chair to lean in and give me a kiss. This isn't a kiss of lust or normality; it's a kiss of pure passion, all of that passion that I have seen in her eyes as she spoke to me this evening. As we part, she whispers something in my ear.

"Want to go home and get a bit more comfortable? This dress is starting to bug me a lot." I quickly pay the bill for our meal. She reaches her arm out for me, an open invitation to lock mine with it and lead her on home. As we walk down the sidewalks back to our apartment, I can't help but just think a little bit.

The stars in the sky will never match how bright this girl can shine.



'Color The Sky' is a song produced by Two Steps From Hell.[/code]