Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/16 ~ recommitted to completion.

WORDS WORDS WORDS


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Helbereth
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by Helbereth »

Well, if ever there were a more positive response to my cute little cripple-girls fanfic...

Truth is, I never really abandoned it, I just lost track and got caught up with other things... things that by themselves shouldn't have kept me from finishing, but collectively have made picking up a keyboard a Herculean feat. I chose a bad month to try returning, truth be told. May was just a shit-show that didn't let up until well into June, and there's still more slogging to be done.

Trust me when i say that I want to see this story finished... it just might take longer than I'd prefer.
MemeManStalin
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by MemeManStalin »

Absolutely fantastic story, made me ridiculously happy.
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Dumanios
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by Dumanios »

Been off the site for the greater part of two years. Was very fun rereading this story, among others.

Good luck finding the time and motivation to continue.
Jake Zero
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom - Aiko Kurai (OC)

Post by Jake Zero »

Mirage_GSM wrote:Nice start. Only a few typos, but you misspelled Mutou twice.
A few other things:
Hisao wouldn't wear sweaterwests to classes. Yamaku has uniforms for that. So Emi wouldn't have seen him in one at that point either.
Heterochromia is okay, but does she really need another disability in addition to her partial deafness? Two disabilities that have nothing to do with each other are extremely uncommon... Like two bombs on the same plane or first cousins being blind and deaf respectively... Uh... Whatever...
There was something else I wanted to mention, but I forgot...
Well, add me to the uncommon list, since I'm autistic, diabetic, and epileptic.
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Hesmiyu
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom - Aiko Kurai (OC)

Post by Hesmiyu »

Jake Zero wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Nice start. Only a few typos, but you misspelled Mutou twice.
A few other things:
Hisao wouldn't wear sweaterwests to classes. Yamaku has uniforms for that. So Emi wouldn't have seen him in one at that point either.
Heterochromia is okay, but does she really need another disability in addition to her partial deafness? Two disabilities that have nothing to do with each other are extremely uncommon... Like two bombs on the same plane or first cousins being blind and deaf respectively... Uh... Whatever...
There was something else I wanted to mention, but I forgot...
Well, add me to the uncommon list, since I'm autistic, diabetic, and epileptic.
Well, that cocktail sounds fun. I have one of those.
The line below is false.
The line above is true.

Being disabled is just differently abled differently labelled.

My art: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=10190
Swim story(Currently 11 chapters long) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=10221
Edible_Funk
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by Edible_Funk »

I created an account here just to comment on this story. I just spent the last 3 days reading it beginning to end (I only recently discovered KS and the associated fanfic) and more than any other unfinished story here, OC or no, I cannot wait for more of Aiko's story. You're an incredible writer Helbereth, and I'll read just about anything you write. Seriously, you have a gift, and I'm glad to have found your story here. Even more glad that you a few months ago committed to finishing it. I doubt this amounts to much, but you've got yourself a fan here, and I'll read just about anything you put out. I'm gushing, I know, but a lot of the fic I read after becoming totally enamored with KS was somewhat amateurish, aside from a few outliers. I can say with confidence though that your writing is the best I've seen yet. I'm eagerly awaiting more chapters. Thanks for this story.
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Zerebos
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by Zerebos »

Helbereth, I absolutely love this story although definitely sad to see where it has ended (temporarily). The one you made the characters come alive to me and feel like such well thought out people was amazing. Even if you never finish Tomorrow's Doom, never stop writing, you have an incredible talent.
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misiek100020
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by misiek100020 »

Helbereth, i want to buy you a beer. I still have hope that i'll see it finished.
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TyronePotato
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by TyronePotato »

Still here, we believe in you!
ooooh feels.
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kayeskay
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by kayeskay »

Holy shit. I've just finished reading what has been done so far of this monster fic and it has been amazing. Helbererth, you're a legend and when (don't want to say if) you finish this I will give you a virtual cookie because you are just amazing.
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Ryano
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/06 ~ recommitted to completi

Post by Ryano »

Well thats a marathon effort, cracking fanfic so far Helbereth! I'm hoping thats not the end of it, however going by previous comments I doubt it will be, even if the finish date is not in the near future. I'm looking forwards to any update that occurs.
SuzuSuzuki_bestgirl
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/16 ~ recommitted to completion.

Post by SuzuSuzuki_bestgirl »

Well this fic was amazing, it's a real shame it seems to be abandoned again. Helbereth, on the off chance you still check this fic, I just want to say thanks and that I hope one day the story can be completed
Christov_Jones77
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/16 ~ recommitted to completion.

Post by Christov_Jones77 »

I'm just starting my 3rd or 4th reread and I want to 2nd that opinion. I love this story you've written Helbereth and even if it's never finished, I just want to say, thank you for writing this wonderful story. It is truly a privilege to be able to come back and read this tale time and time again and all I can say is, again, thank you.
Fourthsubset66
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/16 ~ recommitted to completion.

Post by Fourthsubset66 »

I just spent the better part of a week reading this and I was really loving it until the last 2 or 3 chapters. I feel like the story has been dragged out so much that it feels like the past few chapters are just filler. I'm not surprised you have run out of steam for this but would love to see it completed!
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StealthyWolf
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Re: Tomorrow's Doom ~ Up: 04/30/16 ~ recommitted to completion.

Post by StealthyWolf »

If you had told me 5 months ago I'd spend the better part of a month reading a fanfiction that was well over 400k words long, I'd say you were crazy. If you were to then tell me that that fanfiction was for a eroge game born from 4Chan and centered around disabled girls, was a visual novel dating sim, and the fanfiction didn't even follow one of the main girls from the game, I'd say you'd have lost it. Yet here we are.

Helbereth, thank you for writing this story. No matter where it stands now and what may or may not come in the future, it was a wild and enjoyable ride from start to "finish." So before my rambling take me too far away from the point I want to make one thing clear. I loved reading this, and it was a fantastic story. I may have joined this community well after its golden age, but being able to look back on great works like this make it all okay.

Unfortunately when I started reading Tomorrow's Doom Aiko's underlying disease was already something I had known about, but that didn't effect my reading to a harsh degree. It was more so a case of seeing hints, getting bread crumbs, and ultimately waiting for the other shoe to drop. A journey that was still enjoyable. Though I thought the writing was a little rough around the edges, the pacing was slow, and the unfamiliar word choice was distracting when I first started reading this, I was still drawn to the story from the start. Perhaps it was the long chapters, fantastic characters, interesting story developments, captivating writing, alternate perspective, or some combination of all the above. Probably that. Either way I found myself always coming back even if I am suffering a bit of reader's exhaustion right now, which is likely why it took me a month or so to finish it.

I love how the relevant characters don't revolve around just Aiko or just Hisao. Their lives move forward whether we see it or not. Early on this was easily evidenced by Amaya and Tadao, then when Hisao mentioned others from his class and story that were in Aiko's periphery and little notes about what was going on with them. Later on this persisted with Yoko and Kenta's storyline and relationship flourishing outside of Aiko's purview. I also loved how much depth each character has throughout the story. Every character has more to them then meets the eye and the effects of their stories shine though in a lot of their actions.

Speaking of characters, every character in this story is rather fun and enjoyable. I was going to list some stand-outs but then I just realized that I'm just listing the cast in general. So that should say something about them. I also always find it interesting to see alternate interpretations of character's I've familiarized myself with in very different ways than others might have in the past. For example, Saki. This is the second fic I recall her having a more stuck-up and bitchy attitude, which is wild coming from the perspective of someone who's second fic of KS was Euro's Learning To Fly. That version of her just felt so natural that sometimes I have to remind myself that all we have in terms of "canon" is an image, name, and brief description. Then there's alternate interpretations of known characters. Namely Shizune/Misha. I really enjoy their presence in this fic and their role. I sometimes feel that when they aren't heavily involved in a story, people tend to slap a comedically over-exaggerated personality onto them. This version and that in Prof' For Want of a Nail feel much more in tune with realistic.

Here' where we get into the murky territory, and my gripes with the story. Not immediately, but they come hand in hand with who I want to talk about next. Aiko. First of all, I love Aiko a a mc and her relationship with Hisao in this story feel natural, well written, interestingly paced, and unique in it own way that works really well. I love the way she acts, talks, interacts, and approaches the world. However, I do think we spend just a little too much time in her head. Obviously we literally spend 100% of the story in her head and I have no issue with 1st person (it's my proffered writing style as well), but what I mean is she thinks a lot. Like a lot a lot. And it affects the pacing dramatically. Now, don't get me wrong, the vivid descriptions, fleshed out thoughts, and detailed perspective all achieve exactly what they set out to, just at the cost of chapters feeling like they drag sometimes. I believe others have mentioned how it sometimes feel like they spend an entire chapter having done like 1 or 2 things and some talking. I believe this issue was exasperated by a generous usage of dialogue tags early on that were a bit wordy from time to time. This is something that certainly got better as time went on, and by the end of the story that second issue was less of an issue and more of a memory. That being said, it was the biggest thing I ran into and the sole reason I had a slow start with reading this one.

The only other thing that was a little frustrating is how sometimes it felt like certain aspects of the story feel like they take ages to get to. The big one obviously being the looming talk between Hisao and Aiko. Another lingering thread that seems to have been around for the longest time is Yoko's festival breakdown. But those two are specifically excusable since they have been obviously built up as big story beats. However this issue can also be likely attributed to the descriptive and lengthy writing style. I think the best way to describe how it felt is to liken it to Naruto Shippuden. It sometimes feels like we'll have big important progress that is split apart by lengthy side-stories. Not exactly filler, but certainly diversion. It's not the greatest comparison, but certainly feels like an apt one in my mind. Perhaps it's as simple as her headspace/flow doesn't work as well for me as for others. After all, A Pseudo-Pseudo Suzu route has had similar complaints (Spending a lot of time in MC's head and thus affecting pacing) and yet it is probably my favorite, if not second favorite fic here.

That being said this was still a fantastic read and it certainly gave me a lot of inspiration and perspective when it comes to my own writing. I seem to write chapters of at least comparable length to yours when it comes to this board specifically, and though my journey has only just begun I hope to be able to put as much dedication into my project as you have into this one. So far I've only written 100k (heh, "only") in my own story and only about 40% of that is edited, but I can already tell it's a long and arduous road. Seeing you having been able to produce such long and well-written chapters in such a short time period during this story's early days is awe-inspiring and I applaud your abilities. Even when you slowed down it was still an amazing amount of work in a rather short period of time. Your work has also helped me come up with new ideas and things to keep a look out for in my own writing. Sometimes I think I don't do quite enough internal reflection/dialogue compared to the active events and dialogue so examining how you've broken up such things in your piece has been rather helpful in working on my own.

So in short: Thanks for this work. I really enjoyed reading it and I hope you are doing well! It has inspired me and kept me entertained for some time, and I aspire to be able to produce something of this quality as well.
My Writing:
Uncertainty (A post Emi-Good Ending Story)
My Shorts and One-shots
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