Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
JTemby
Posts: 84
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:35 pm
Location: Australia.

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by JTemby » Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:45 pm

Comparing Sam to Lynda from United States of Misha (As well as some aspects of Misha's personality) I can't help but think Misha ending up with Shizune 2.0 after all this time, really downplays the complexity of the character as neither Lynda nor Kelly represented Shizune beyond the most minimalistic of ways.

Then again, I commented on "United states of Misha" saying "I wish your post-graduation story threaded into "Weekend at Hisao's"
Some day I hope all the writers get together and write another reunion tale, with each writer focused on writing their most well received character... Wishful thinking I suppose.
-Sigh-


This chapter seemed like a LOT of padding and re-character development.
"But Temby, what do you mean re-character development" you ask?
I mean, you spent a good chunk of the chapter emphasising that Shizune has changed and is all mature now, but you did that already, a few scenes back, when she returned home and met the person I wished was Kelly.
Then again, you also emphasised that both Hisao is a bad driver and Akira is a bad teacher, so it may or may not be justified.
I'm torn with how I feel about this chapter to be honest.

Gah! I guess this story just feels unneccicary through my eyes because I've read so many damn fan-fictions now that I kinda get the idea of how every character is after graduation. Please don't misinterpret what I'm saying as "Stop writing this garbage", think of it more as "This one isn't for me."
Considering you got me hooked on ya' writing with Aiko's story, I'll probably end up every chapter of this no matter what you do with it anyway ._.

Edited 5 times, this is easily the worst critique I've ever given, sorry. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to use the internet past 2am.

User avatar
Walshy12238
Posts: 117
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:58 am
Location: Australia

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by Walshy12238 » Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:14 am

I know it isn't very likely, but I really hope you haven't forgotten about this. Because you're updating Tomorrow's Doom so frequently I assume you realise this is still here, so all we have to do is keep waiting?
I really can't wait to see how this pans out. Best of luck :)
Lilly > Hanako=Emi > Shizune > Rin

User avatar
WilyWiley
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:31 pm

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by WilyWiley » Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:45 pm

Aww man. This is dead isn't it? I sure wish it wasn't. It is actually really good and covers some stuff that other fan works don't really get into
Image
Image
Image

Kurara
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:33 pm

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by Kurara » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:50 am

Whenever you necro a thread, god kills a kitten.

RedRover
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:33 am
Location: The Middle of Nowhere

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by RedRover » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:30 am

Kurara wrote:Whenever you necro a thread, god kills a kitten.
Damn, dude. That's rough.
"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." -Confucius
Quotes are fun.
I have a oneshot about little ol' Suzu. Read it! Or don't.

User avatar
Helbereth
Posts: 1532
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:44 pm
Location: Massachusetts, USA

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by Helbereth » Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:05 am

WilyWiley wrote:Aww man. This is dead isn't it? I sure wish it wasn't. It is actually really good and covers some stuff that other fan works don't really get into
Dead in that I haven't thought of continuing it since November. Honestly, this was more of an experiment than something I planned--the first thing I'd written in 10 years. It provided a way to peek through the mind of each character in narrative form, which has helped in crafting the stories I've actually paid attention to over the past eight months.
RedRover wrote:
Kurara wrote:Whenever you necro a thread, god kills a kitten.
Damn, dude. That's rough.
I'm not sure you can technically 'necro' a thread I've had linked in my signature the whole time.

User avatar
BlackWaltzTheThird
Posts: 613
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:38 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:00 am

It's funny that I never knew this thread existed, even though I've read Helbereth's posts hundreds of times. I've certainly been around long enough to have seen it, but I guess I never thought to look at it back when it was relevant. Now I feel like I did when I got to the end of the Higurashi dub and realised the second season hadn't been and wouldn't likely be dubbed; that is, having all the pieces to the puzzle, but unable to see how they come together. A plague o'both the houses of whoever necroed this thread.
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!

BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!

User avatar
motokid108
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:29 am
Location: Oregon

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by motokid108 » Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:09 pm

I love Hanako's biker bad ass personality. Not gonna lie, gave my a chubby. It's a shame it's been over a year since an update, but I look forward to another update
Hanako≥Shizune>Lily>Natsume>Miki>Yuuko>Emi

ImageImage
Image
Image
Image

User avatar
Mahorfeus
Posts: 680
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:16 pm

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by Mahorfeus » Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:31 pm

I kinda tiptoed around this one for the past year or so for gods-know-what-reason, but I've finally read through it. Even if it was just an experiment, it was definitely a fun read.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

User avatar
TacticalBacon
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:22 am

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by TacticalBacon » Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:22 am

bookmarked just in case

nice read :)
My Steam
My Twitter
My Tumblr
My skype is HakimAthalla21

User avatar
Helbereth
Posts: 1532
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:44 pm
Location: Massachusetts, USA

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by Helbereth » Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:42 pm

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:It's funny that I never knew this thread existed, even though I've read Helbereth's posts hundreds of times. I've certainly been around long enough to have seen it, but I guess I never thought to look at it back when it was relevant. Now I feel like I did when I got to the end of the Higurashi dub and realised the second season hadn't been and wouldn't likely be dubbed; that is, having all the pieces to the puzzle, but unable to see how they come together. A plague o'both the houses of whoever necroed this thread.
I have to admit, at this point a large sum of the reason I've left this abandoned is because I'm somewhat embarrassed by its numerous mistakes, and inconsistent plot. That, and I've had PLENTY on my plate...
motokid108 wrote:I love Hanako's biker bad ass personality. Not gonna lie, gave my a chubby. It's a shame it's been over a year since an update, but I look forward to another update
At this point, I'm not certain whether I was the first one to think Hanako might become a biker chick, but I get credited for placing it in people's headcanon.
Mahorfeus wrote:I kinda tiptoed around this one for the past year or so for gods-know-what-reason, but I've finally read through it. Even if it was just an experiment, it was definitely a fun read.
Thanks, I was going for something upbeat with just enough conflict to add intrigue.
TacticalBacon wrote:bookmarked just in case

nice read :)
Thanks for saying that, though I know it's really confusing in some places.

User avatar
SquishyYawns
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 12, 2016 5:17 pm
Location: Grand Rapids, MI

Re: Five Year Illumination (A Reunion Tale). Updated 8/02

Post by SquishyYawns » Thu Sep 08, 2016 1:54 am

Just read thru this and was impressed. Too bad things didn't work out. In memorandum of what could have been.
You think you know hell. HA! Allow me to introduce you a world of suffering and depravity that any mortal mind could scarcely imagine. Mwahahahahahahahaha.

Post Reply