Ballad of the Caterpillar

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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# 2
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Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by # 2 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:33 am

The caterpillar lived in the cherry tree.
There, alone she lived, just she.
She had no friends, no family.

The others called her many a name,
Hairy worm, fat worm, bringer of shame,
Forever alone, scarred by flame.

Caterpillar was lonely, fraught with fear,
Never to find someone to hold dear,
To bring her joy, to hold her near.

She climbed up to the highest leaf,
And flung herself off to find relief,
Praying to God the fall would be brief.

The fox was passing down below,
Her eyes were lidded, her pace was slow,
Yet knew she whither place she'd go.

Caterpillar came down upon fox's back,
Fox yelped out, her eyelids drew back
Her world was yet dark but she sensed no attack.

Across fox's shoulder came caterpillar to rest,
Are you my cloak, the fox asked in jest,
Fearfully, quietly, Caterpillar said, Yes.

'Tis well then, said Fox, My shoulders were cold.
I travel to find the end of this road,
But blind as I am, I find myself slowed.

Would you, if you would, travel with me,
Mused Fox, And so be my eyes to see,
What there is to find away from your tree?

Once more caterpillar meekly replied,
I'd rather I had a safe place to hide,
From those who slander and those who've lied.

Fox merely chuckled, Hide under my fur,
And that is how lonely Caterpillar
Did find a friend to comfort her.

-End of part the first.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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TheSongofRaven
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by TheSongofRaven » Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:34 am

This ballad is about Hanako rite ? Beautiful words....
"I believe everything like horse race. When you are lose, simply ride the horse again and face any challange"
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nemz
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by nemz » Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:45 am

Lilly doesn't at all strike me as being 'foxy'... too many connotations of mischief and trickery. A deer, perhaps?
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

# 2
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by # 2 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:55 am

Hanako is the Caterpillar, yes.

The Fox is Lilly.

Also staring (In order of appearance), the Baku and the Kitten, The Hawk and the Pigeon, and the young man.

I have everything planned out for how the story unfolds, if I was writing a story I'd probably be done with it be now, but rhyme and meter are complicated. Not that I don't enjoy the challenge.

And, um, I know the meter is off and sometimes the rhymes are forced. I hope you'll forgive me for that.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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TheSongofRaven
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by TheSongofRaven » Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:01 am

# 2 wrote:Hanako is the Caterpillar, yes.

The Fox is Lilly.

Also staring (In order of appearance), the Baku and the Kitten, The Hawk and the Pigeon, and the young man.

I have everything planned out for how the story unfolds, if I was writing a story I'd probably be done with it be now, but rhyme and meter are complicated. Not that I don't enjoy the challenge.

And, um, I know the meter is off and sometimes the rhymes are forced. I hope you'll forgive me for that.
No need for apologize my dear friend, keep writing nice okay ? i will keep touch on this :D
"I believe everything like horse race. When you are lose, simply ride the horse again and face any challange"
Twitter : @GrimPointman, Skype : steven.yehezkiel6791

# 2
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by # 2 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:17 am

nemz wrote:Lilly doesn't at all strike me as being 'foxy'... too many connotations of mischief and trickery. A deer, perhaps?
A deer would be too timid to be Lilly, I think. The fox is wise and sly, plans her movements in advance.

There's a story of a fox who makes a bet with a tanuki over which can drive a priest from his temple. The fox wins the bet, but finds that she has fallen in love with the priest. She takes the form of a woman and asks forgiveness for causing the priest trouble, the priest forgives her and allows her to stay with him.

She later discovers a plot against the priest, and learns of a way to save him, but to do so must sacrifice herself.

So, this is the version of the fox I am going with, playful, sly, but when she wishes to be, caring.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:37 pm

Well, that legend would explain the fox in Persona 4...
Nice poem, but is it really a fanfiction?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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FishyBroski
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Re: Ballad of the Caterpillar

Post by FishyBroski » Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:22 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, that legend would explain the fox in Persona 4...
Nice poem, but is it really a fanfiction?
It's fiction and ummm... it's fan made. It's also related to KS so I guess it is?

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