Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

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Andonymos
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Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Post by Andonymos » Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:22 pm

Original paste: http://pastebin.com/4xfLia8K

Now entering it's last stages. Not sure if I want to push through and try my hand at smut, but this is as far as the "story" portion of the writing will go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Something is poking my head, trying to wake me up.
"Hey. Lunchtime."
No... five more minutes...
Wait. I don't remember falling asleep.

I pull my head off of my arm and look around. Rin stands to the side of my desk, foot raised in the air near my face. It's summer now, and I've been going to her make-up classes with her during the summer, having nothing to do myself. Summer school isn't a good alternative to nothing, though. A quick check of my watch tells me that I fell asleep on the desk about two hours ago. It also tells me that my arm's fallen asleep from the weight of my head. Great.

The room is uncomfortably hot. It's the middle of summer, and the A/C has gone out. I'm not a part of the classes here, so the teacher lets me wear just about anything I want: shorts, a t-shirt, sandals, usually. Rin's stuck wearing her school uniform, though. She wears pants, a white shirt and a tie every day.

Rin and I have grown closer over these last few weeks, too. Emi is staying with her mom over the summer, so I've had to take her place. I've gotten damn good at adjusting bras, too. Rin isn't as impressed with my new skill as I am, but sometimes I'll get them right on the first time and she'll give me a congratulatory kiss.
Life has been pretty good to me these last few weeks.

I rub the sleep out of my eyes and look up to Rin. She's wearing a curious expression; one that lunchtime doesn't usually call for. "Is there something on my face?"

"No. Well, kinda. Not anymore. There was... your arms."

"My arms? Well, yeah. I was sleeping on my arms just now." My tired mind and Rin's ramblings don't mix well.

"What's that like?" Her face is an odd mix between curiosity and sorrow. I can hardly form words, and she's giving me questions like this... Well, maybe I don't need to explain.

"I dunno. Wanna try for yourself?" Her eyes drop into a condescending glare as she waves her empty sleeves around.

I spin around in my desk so I'm straddling my chair, and lay my arm across the desk that was once behind me. I look back at her and give an inviting head-nod. She steps over the chair, takes a seat, and lays her head down on my arm. Her head is much lighter than mine, and her face a lot softer. I don't think she could make my arm fall asleep if she tried. She wiggles her head around, setting her hair straight. She then exhales slowly and closes her eyes. Her tiny arms drop to the table as her muscles relax, and within moments Rin is a sleep.

Watching girls sleep should be a spectator sport. I'd pay to see it.
...What does that say about me? And what kind of people would show up to see girls sleeping?
I feel dirty now. I should think of something different...

But how can I, with the slumbering Rin on my arm? Why did she care about what it was like to sleep on an arm, anyways? Sleeping was something I had always thought Rin had mastered. She could sleep anywhere for any length of time. On my shoulder during the festival... On her desk in class... she had sleeping down to a science.

Maybe arm sleeping was a subject in her field that she couldn't fully understand. Kind of like me, with her art. I think Rin is my specialty. I might understand Rin more than any other individual. Just as an individual, though. Her paintings are another topic...

She tried explaining one to me once. After about thirty minutes, we both stormed off to our rooms and sulked. We made up later that night, and I made it a point to read into art theory a bit. Then, after two books, ten paintings, and more than a couple lonely nights, I finally got one.

I felt very proud of myself, but Rin was ecstatic. She was jumping up and down around the room, finally settling down long enough for a hug and a kiss. That night was anything but lonely.

A couple minutes pass, and Rin stirs awake. She lifts her head up and shakes out the sleep. There's a small patch of sweat and heat where her head once rested. I'm not sure if it's her sweat, my sweat, or a mix of both of our sweats. Whoever's it is, it's disgusting. "Well," I inquire, "how was it?"

She shrugs her trademarked shrug. "Eh. Better than the desk, but also sweatier. Than the desk. Your arm is sweatier than the desk. It'd be better during the winter, when we aren't sweating. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. That word's starting to sound weird. I'm hungry now. Let's get lunch."

She slides out of her chair and spins her hair around, sending a few drops of sweat around the room. Her cheeks are flushed and she's practically panting from the heat. She eyeballs my casual clothing. "Lucky," she says under her breath.

I laugh at her expense, and we walk out the door and into the hallway.

"Where should we have lunch today? The roof again?"

She pauses for a second, then shakes her head 'no.'
"Too hot. We need to go somewhere colder. But the air conditioner is broken in this building... and we both won't fit in a fridge."
"I think this school has a huge room-sized fridge. Like a meat locker."
"I wonder if the lunch lady will let us in... I'll remember to ask."

~~~~~

Here we now stand in the girl's dormitories. We did ask the lunch attendant if we could eat in the fridge, but she said that there were regulations against that. I wondered if they were safety regulations, for the students, or health regulations, for the food, but Rin was already placing her order before I could ask.

Rin opens her door and I follow her in, two bags of food in my hands. I know this room fairly well now, as I've been the one dressing Rin most mornings. Rin kicks the fan on as she walks in the room and I set the bags of food and drink down on her bed.

Rin's walls are now adorned with more cheerily colored paintings; most of them have two personages as the focal point. I think that the two people are us, but but I'm never sure with Rin.

The ceiling fan whirs loudly and wobbles unnervingly, as Rin has had me crank the thing up to it's fastest setting. I don't get how she can sleep with that thing bowing and bending like it does. I can hardly stand to look at it .

"It's still too hot," She declares after a moment. "We didn't get any ice, did we?"

"Nope. Just water."

She sighs, then scrunches her forehead. "The last thing I can do," her face relaxes somewhat, "is wear less clothes. Come help."

"Alright." It makes sense to me. We've gotten pretty close recently, what with me taking the place of Emi in her daily routine. I help dress and undress her every morning, as well as brush her teeth. She manages to wash herself in the shower, though I've never seen exactly how.

Two steps and I'm in front of Rin. I raise my hands, she lifts her chin, and I undo her tie. She lets out a breath of air, as if the tie was choking her. I throw the tie onto the bed, then begin undoing the buttons on her shirt. I unzip her pants and roll them off of her legs. Undressing Rin is unsatisfactorily routine now, what with having done it daily since the beginning of summer.

Her shirt now hangs on her shoulders and her pants are now lazily folded on the floor. We both take seats on opposite ends of her bed, and I pull out our food.

Rin's flexibility has never ceased to amaze me. I tried bending the way she does once, and could barely touch my foot to my mouth. Also, I had to use my hands to keep from rolling off the bed while attempting it.

While she uses her legs for practical purposes, such as eating, they're doing something entirely different for me right now. Her legs are fairly well toned due to the amount of use she puts them through. A thin layer of sweat works with the pale tone of her skin to reflect light and grab my attention whenever I think of looking away.

I do, eventually, look up, and am greeted by Rin's large eyes pointed directly at me. I've been caught. I blush and turn away, but Rin doesn't even blink. She's fixated directly on me for the most awkward moments of my life.

Then, as though she had never started staring at me, she turns back to her food and begins eating again. My head tilts so far sideways that it almost smacks my shoulder. A couple bites later, Rin looks up to me, swallows, and speaks.

"I don't get staring."

"Well, I don't get painting."

She tilts her head a little. "Huh. Maybe staring is your painting. I remember you staring at me a lot, after all. Maybe they should make a sport out of staring. You'd be good at it."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so easy to stare at." ...there were probably better ways of putting that.

She tilts her head further. "Are you... trying to come on to me?"

If there was a world record for hardest blush, I'd win it right now. My lips open and air passes through, but there's a distinct lack of sound.

Rin smiles and blushes. "Well, maybe. After this food. It's good. You... haven't even opened your's yet, so you wouldn't know."

If there was a world record for biggest fool, I'd win it right now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

All of our food waste tossed into the trash can, Rin and I sit shoulder to shoulder on her bed, with our backs against the wall. I look over to kiss her, but that fan...

"Why do you like having your fan moving so fast? Doesn't all that wobbling worry you?"

She stares, emotionless, at the machine. "Yes. That's why I have it so fast. It reminds me of my time prepping for the exhibition, and not to work like that anymore."

"...I'm lost," I admit. Usually I can keep up with her scattered responses, but this one seems different.

Her face mushes together in the pain of the memory. "Well, all that time I was working in the atelier, I was like this fan is now. I was getting a lot of stuff done, but I was too wobbly. There wasn't much keeping me from falling off of the ceiling and crashing on to the floor one night."

Ah. Everything clicks into place. That fan is a daily reminder of what not to become. Instead of pushing more air around than is safe, Rin was painting more art beyond what was healthy. I remember the evenings when I would walk up to those stairs to an emptier, less well-nourished Rin. Devoid of thought, food, and feeling; all she did was paint.

Rin now turns up to me with love in her eyes. "Thank you for keeping me attached to the ceiling."

Though the phrase itself isn't exactly seductive, the long kiss we share afterwords definitely is. My arms grip along Rin's back, and her tongue slowly plays with mine. Our body heat becomes one as our breathing rate increases and our bodies come closer in contact.

Rin breaks away from the kiss to bite on my tie, undoing it. "Impressive," I blurt out. She smiles as she begins unbuttoning my shirt with the top two toes of her right foot. Once again, it's very impressive. My shirt now unbuttoned and dropped from my shoulders, I reach out and push Rin's shirt.

I don't think I've ever taken a hard look at Rin's breasts before. I am now, though. They're usually well hidden behind the boy's uniform she dons, but here, only covered by her supportive undergarments, it's difficult for me to take my eyes off of them. They're large, but not excessive. Full, but not fat.

Rin may have the perfect breasts.


My gaze returns to the face of my lover sitting across from me. A hint of red crosses her cheeks, and her deep, forest green eyes captivate my thoughts. We lean together for another kiss, I bring my arms up to unhook Rin's b-

RING~ RING~ RING~

The school bell dutifully chimes out the only song it knows. The same eight notes that never fail to strike despair into the hearts of those attending Yamaku High. For Rin and I though, the tune brings the entire mood of our afternoon crashing down upon our heads.

Rin does need to go back and study... She's here because she fell behind. This is the price of the art exhibition, so, being the one who convinced her to go there, it's only fair that I suffer for this too. Yeah... she needs to go back now. This is important.

I look up at the woman who's face now stands mere inches from mine, and all those rationalizations melt away. It's those eyes... Rin's eyes are the kryptonite to my Superman sensibility. Through her eyes I can see her world. A million miles of contorted figures, intermingling colors, and migrating butterflies pass pass as she stares longingly into my eyes.

I push Rin on her back and lay myself atop her, kissing every inch of her exposed body.

Rin will be missing class today.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Still not sure if I want to end it here or keep going. It wraps up nicely, but I've never had a go at smut writing before...

Please tell me anything you would like to see kept in the writing, or removed from the writing.
Any and all comments are well appreciated.
Last edited by Andonymos on Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.

# 2
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

Post by # 2 » Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:51 pm

I think it's a good start. One minor nitpick, though: Rin falling asleep on command kind of threw my suspension of disbelief on the floor and stomped on it's head.
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Elcor
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

Post by Elcor » Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:19 pm

Looking forward to seeing where you take this.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

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Andonymos
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

Post by Andonymos » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:24 pm

# 2 wrote:I think it's a good start. One minor nitpick, though: Rin falling asleep on command kind of threw my suspension of disbelief on the floor and stomped on it's head.
That happens in the game, no?
On the bench during the fireworks. And in the atelier, after the h-scene.

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Andonymos
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

Post by Andonymos » Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:13 pm

Andonymos wrote:
# 2 wrote:I think it's a good start. One minor nitpick, though: Rin falling asleep on command kind of threw my suspension of disbelief on the floor and stomped on it's head.
That happens in the game, no?
On the bench during the fireworks. And in the atelier, after the h-scene.
No less, I added some space in between, to make it seem more like a fast process to falling asleep, rather than a command.

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griffon8
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Post by griffon8 » Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:10 pm

Quite nice. Good to see a Rin continuation that doesn't skip the rest of the school year.

If you continue this, I recommend creating a new reply rather than adding to your first post. I almost missed the fact that you changed it between my first looking at this thread and my reply.
Andonymos wrote:Her shirt now hands on her shoulders and her pants are now lazily folded on the floor.
hangs
Andonymos wrote:Also, I had to use my hands to keep from rolling of the bed while attempting it.
off
Andonymos wrote:Instead of pushing air more air around than is safe, Rin was painting more art beyond what was healthy. I remember the evenings when I would walk up to those stairs to a emptier, less well-nourished Rin. Devoid of thought, food, and feeling, all she did was paint.
extra word; an; missing word
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Andonymos
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Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Post by Andonymos » Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:35 pm

griffon8 wrote:Quite nice. Good to see a Rin continuation that doesn't skip the rest of the school year.

If you continue this, I recommend creating a new reply rather than adding to your first post. I almost missed the fact that you changed it between my first looking at this thread and my reply.
Glad you liked it, all the mistakes you pointed out were fixed. Thanks~

I will definitely post any add ons as separate posts in the thread.

Assballs

Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Post by Assballs » Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:38 pm

Full on smut probably isn't necessary. How about leaving it summarized and spare the finer details, then give us a little aftermath from missing class due to mysterious unforseen events, top it off with something cutsey and call it done?

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