Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

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Post by # 2 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:10 pm

Chapter 3: Reorientation

"Really, I'm disappointed in Mr. Yamamoto. I expected him to at least send a human soul to greet Nakai, not a mon-- er, that is..."

Voices. That would be Chiasa, I think.

Someone sighs.

"I did explain to Mr. Yamamoto that it would have been best to send a human soul, however, he seems to think I am the only trustworthy student in his class."

Someone else? The girl? With one...? Her voice is strong and steady, a contrast to Chiasa's rambling speech. Her enunciation is precise, her words have a clipped quality.

"Oh~, I'm going to have words with him later. I mean, how else did he think someone would react to seeing a person with one eye for the first time."

There's a drawn out silence.

"Oh! Um, sorry."

"I take no offense."

"Well anyway," Chiasa says, still sounding embarrassed, "I'm glad to see he didn't break anything when he fell. I'm not sure I'd have the energy to fix him today if he did."

"Yes. Thank you for you help anyway, Miss Chiasa. I think I'll be able to look after him myself until he wakes up."

"Right," Chiasa says, "So, I'll just go back to my office now. Um, and sorry again, sometimes I just can't control what comes out of my m--"

"Please stop apologizing."

"Yes, right, OK. See you later then."

"Have a nice day, Miss Chiasa."

I don't hear a door open or close, but then I doubt Chiasa could go two seconds without saying something embarrassing. She must have gone back to her office then. And the girl?

I find myself of two minds at the moment. One wants to open my eyes, or at least take a peek at the girl. I mean, she wasn't ugly or anything, just... weird. The other part of my mind, however, tells me to just lie still and play dead. I am far better off not getting involved with one-eyed girls and ditzy nurses.

As my internal debate continues, the girl speaks.

"Nakai, your fly's open."

Ha! As if I would fall for that old trick. As if I'm so stupid that--

"Hm, I had always wondered what a boys parts looked like. It's very interesting, if a bit sm--"

My eyes flash open and my hand rockets from the floor to cover my crotch.


I glare at the one-eyed girl. Her eye is lidded and she wears a cheeky grin.

"Well, about time," she says cheerily.

While she enjoys her victory, I sit up and check my zipper. It's zipped. I give the girl a withering glance. She's sitting about three feet from me, her legs under her, her hands folded in her lap. And still wearing the grin.

"I don't think that was appropriate," I mutter.

Her eye opens and she considers me.

"I take my victories where I can, Nakai. Hitomi, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

I'm a bit taken aback by her very formal introduction.

"Nakai. Um, Hisao Nakai. Pleased to meet you."

Hitomi dips her head in a slight bow, and I do the same.

Introductions done, Hitomi takes her feet. She does so with a a sort of controlled grace. I decide to stand as well.

"Is Hitomi you family name," I ask, trying to make conversation.

"No," she answers, "My name is simply Hitomi."

"Well, I suppose you could call me Hisao then."

Hitomi's eye rotates toward me. It's half lidded, her singular brow is slightly arched. It's odd how expressive her face is given the fact that she has only one eye and eyebrow.

"I'll consider it, Nakai." Her lips curl into a slight grin.

Hitomi opens the door and steps through. I follow along. The door leads out into a white hallway lined with other such doors, each one nondescript and white. Small signs above the door frames mark most of the doors as classrooms; I also notice there's a faculty room, a crafts room, and a lab. The normality of this is almost unsettling. Along the walls are also various posters and signs, most of which announce an upcoming school festival.

"It's all so... normal," I say as we pass a sign admonishing students to take their studies seriously.

"Yes," Hitomi says, "The faculty does their best to make new students here feel comfortable and welcome. Though I must say, it does seem to be having the opposite effect on you."

That same slightly amused expression.

"Well," I say, "It's just that yesterday I was at one school and then I apparently died and woke up here. I think I just need some more time to adjust."

"Mm," Hitomi responds, "I think that sounds reasonable."

We turn a corner and proceed through a door marked exit. We must be outside. Not that it looks any different from the inside. There are a few white trees, white grass, a white path leading to a white building that stands maybe a dozen meters away. A black and white sign marks it at the dormitories. I glance at the sky.

"Why is everything white?" I ask.

Hitomi raises a finger to her chin, then speaks thoughtfully.

"The world here, it's colored by our perceptions. If what we wish to perceive is white, then the world is white. If we wish to perceive darkness, then the world is dark."

She leans close. Close enough that I can smell lavender. It must be her hair.

"Does that make any sense to you?" She asks quietly.

"Um, no," I admit as I take in the pleasant scent. I can't help but picture spring flowers. And a nice, if strange looking girl walking amongst them.

Hitomi smiles. "I don't understand either. But that's how it was explained to me when I asked."

She straightens again and the scent of lavender fades. It's almost disheartening; I find myself wishing she would lean close again.

"What are you thinking Nakai?"

I look at Hitomi, she didn't read my mind did she? Her face is amused and there's a slight blush to her cheeks.

"Uh, nothing. Why?"

She leans close again.

"You're blushing."

Hitomi smiles and laughs, then skips the rest of the way to the building. I'm stopped dead in my tracks. How can a dead person blush? As Hitomi opens the door to the dormitory and slips inside, I'm left thinking about perceptions.
Last edited by # 2 on Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Kikai Shoujo

Post by nemz » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:07 pm

is this a crossover with something? I keep feeling like I'm missing something important.
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Re: Kikai Shoujo

Post by Elcor » Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:02 pm

nice progression of the story.
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Re: Kikai Shoujo

Post by TheSongofRaven » Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:33 pm

afterlife = second chance to life. Nice story man !! i will keep seeing your progress :D
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Re: Kikai Shoujo

Post by Megumeru » Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:36 am

I see a youkai.

Don't tell me Hitomi's a 'Karakasa' and carries an umbrella later on too :lol:
Aside from grammatical errors, it's an interesting update...I like where this is going.

and it's spelled 'Reorientation'
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

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Re: Kikai Shoujo

Post by # 2 » Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:09 am

nemz wrote:is this a crossover with something? I keep feeling like I'm missing something important.
Probably just my inexperience causing that.
Megumeru wrote:
I see a youkai.

Don't tell me Hitomi's a 'Karakasa' and carries an umbrella later on too :lol:
I considered it all of two seconds, actually. :D
Megumeru wrote:
Aside from grammatical errors, it's an interesting update...I like where this is going.
Erm, Grammatical errors where? Point them out and I'll be happy to fix them, such things bother me.
Megumeru wrote:
and it's spelled 'Reorientation'
Gah, can't believe a spelling error slipped through. Fixed, thanks.

Once again, thanks everyone for the kind words and feedback.
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Total Recall and Rec Roomie

Post by # 2 » Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:49 am

look here for a hint at who mystery girl is.

Total Recall

I open the door to the student dormitories and find a small antechamber. Hitomi is waiting for me, her face again set in what appears to be her default expression, somewhere between bored and amused, as if a person just told her a joke she’s heard a hundred times before.

There’s a flight of stairs on either side of the room, and a door opposite the entrance. Through the door I can hear the sound of people chatting. In the background there's the sound of either a TV or radio. Hitomi leads the way up the right hand stairs and mentions that the stairs on the opposite side of the room lead to the girls dorms. When we reach a landing where the stairs continue up and a hallway leads off in the opposite direction, Hitomi stops and removes a small beige envelope from her pocket.

“Your’s is room H, I believe it should be the last room on the left.”

She hands me the envelope; my name is written on it along with a roman letter H.

“Class starts at oh-nine-thirty, in room 1E. Try to be a little early, Mr. Yamamoto dislikes it when we’re late for class, and besides that, he’ll probably want to introduce himself before class starts.”

“Ok,” I reply. “Is there anything else I should know?”

Hitomi thinks for a moment before responding, her finger coming up to touch her chin and her eye gazing into the distance. “Well,” She says, returning her attention to me, “I wouldn’t go wandering around the school grounds just yet, walking too far from a familiar place for the first time can be disorienting. And the rec room downstairs is always open, except during the hours when class is in session.”

Hitomi is interrupted by the sound of someone clearing his throat behind me. I suddenly realise that I’m blocking the hallway and step to the side. “Sorry about that.”

The boy’s about my age with dark brown hair. He’s wearing the same uniform that I am. “No problem,” he says, his gaze sliding past me to focus on Hitomi. He lifts his hand in greeting. “Hi Hitomi.”

“Hello,” Hitomi replies with a slight nod of her head.

The boy walks past us and down the stairs. I realize something odd as I watch him go, I never heard a door open or close before he let us know we were blocking his path. Then again, I was paying attention to Hitomi; I probably just missed the sound.

“You know,” Hitomi says, returning to our conversation, “I’m meeting a friend for dinner after this. You’re welcome to come along if you like.”

I think about her offer but decide to decline. I feel like I’d just be a fifth wheel. “No thanks, I think I’ll just lie down for a while. I’ve kinda got a lot of stuff to sort through.”

Hitomi arches her eyebrow, but nods politely. “Alright then. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I reply, then add, “Thanks for showing me to my room and all.”

Hitomi smiles. “You’re welcome, Nakai. Though there are definitely worse ways I could have spent the afternoon.”

We part ways, Hitomi down the stairs and I to my room.


I stretch out on the bed in my room, and stare at the ceiling as if the answer to all the questions racing through my mind is written there.

I’m dead. Chiasa and Hitomi act as if I’m supposed to just accept it and move on. How? I’m eighteen years old... that is, I was eighteen years old, and I had my entire life ahead of me. I may not have had any real plans for the future, but was enjoying what I had, damnit.

Iwanako. Oh God, if what Chiasa said is true, I died right in front of her. I try to remember what happened... it’s all fuzzy, like someone tuned my memory to a channel with nothing but static. Slowly, it comes back, the images in monochrome, like old photographs. The note, slipped between the pages of a textbook. The snow, the trees naked. Iwanako, her hands clasped nervously as she lays herself bare.

I close my eyes and try to stop thinking.

It’s not fair, damn it. Even though I can’t say I truly loved Iwanako, I liked her. We never even had a chance to try.

I lie in bed and try not to think of all the what ifs, of all the might have beens. It doesn’t work, my mind keeps replaying that scene in the snow, Iwanako’s voice in my head, the sudden pain in my chest. I roll over and stare at a blank, white wall, but it gives no relief; it just stands there, impassive.

I’ve got to do something.

I get up and check myself in the mirror; clothes are OK, not too wrinkled from me lying on them, so I step out of my room and make my way to the rec room. The light from outside through the glass entrance door has dimmed, it must be turning toward whatever passes for evening in this world. I notice the lack of sound from the rec room, everyone must have gone back to their rooms, or maybe they had something planned, friends to meet, things to do.

Everyone but me. Damn, I tried not to think it, but it just kind of crept up on me. I can’t help but sigh and feel miserable.

I open the door to the rec room and peek inside. I spy a ping-pong table, a couple of old arcade cabinets, and think that it’s odd that they’d have a Mr. Do! cabinet. I mean, it is the afterlife, couldn’t they at least offer up something more modern? The other is running Daisu-Kiss, something obscure that I don’t think I ever played.

A few vending machines stand against the right wall, offering canned drinks and packaged food, from the looks of it. The TV is against the near wall, on the left of the door, one of those big widescreen jobs with the flat display, and opposite of the set is a comfortable looking sofa and a few bean bag chairs. Against the left wall is a long table, and a girl. She’s seated at the table, her back turned mostly in my direction. I note silvery hair, twisted into a long braid that hangs nearly to the center of her back.

I hesitate at the door for a few seconds. I really don’t want to deal with anyone right now, wallowing in self pity isn’t what I consider a spectator sport. Finally. I decide to leave the girl to whatever she’s doing. Just as I turn to go, however, she speaks.

“You can come in if you want. I don’t bite. Much.”

I sigh softly. Caught. Well, I might as well go in.

“Heh, sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in here.”

“Mmm, no, no one’s here. Well unless you count me, but then, I don’t. Not usually anyway.”

The girl continues to speak with her back to me. I think it’s a bit odd, and maybe a little rude as well, but I keep that to myself as I make my way to the vending machines. Coffee would be nice. Maybe some bread too.

I stop and stare at the drinks machine. It slowly dawns on me that I don’t have money, but then the point seems moot as there doesn’t seem to be any slots to insert coins. Something else bugs me, instead of a panel with multiple buttons, there’s a single button. The front of the machine displays a generic looking soft drink can.


I turn to look at the girl; she’s turned in her seat and is watching me. She has a round face and bangs cut straight at the level of her eyebrows, but what takes me aback are her eyes. They are a deep, almost blood red, and in contrast to her pale, flawless skin, they make her seem almost as unnatural as Hitomi.

“Um, yeah,” I say, hoping I don’t look as stupid as I feel.

The girl grins, and I almost expect to see elongated canines; her teeth are perfectly normal, however. I feel myself release a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding.

“I take it you’re new?” She asks.

“Yeah. I just arrived here today. Uh... arrived... is that the right word?”

The girl lifts a juice box to her lips and seems to ponder a moment. “Dunno,” She says, “I guess you could say ‘arrived’. I kind of thought of it as waking up, myself.”

We lapse into silence. I don’t know what to say, but she seems comfortable with the quiet, and continues to watch me. Her gaze is analytical, it’s as if she’s studying me, like I’m some new species that she’s never encountered and must commit my every detail to memory.

I break eye contact and glance over my shoulder at the drinks machine. “Um, about this?”

“Don’t dream it, be it,” she says.

I look at her, confused. She must read my expression because she grins sheepishly and glances away for a second. “Sorry, that was kind of obscure. And really makes no sense. Well, it does to me but...” She trails off and her eyes do a slow roll around the room before meeting mine again. “Sorry?” She says, hunching her shoulders a little.

She relaxes her shoulders and sighs, her lower lip jutting outward a bit so her breath ruffles her bangs. She looks a little forlorn. And kind of cute.

“You probably think I’m some kind of loon, right?”


“No,” I say. “I mean, I don’t really know you well enough to, you know, think you’re looney or anything.”

For just a fraction of a second she raises an eyebrow, then suddenly flashes me a thousand watt smile. If my heart were beating, it might have skipped.

“Thanks,” She says, hopping up from her seat. She makes her way over to the machine, stopping next to me. I can’t help but feel a little ruffled by this girl.

“You see,” she says, “What you have to do is think about what you want, then push the button. I’m thinking... strawberry milk.” She presses the button as she says the words, and after a second or two there’s a soft clunk as the machine vends a juice box. She leans in and grabs her prize, then waves it triumphantly. “Nothing to it!”

I look at the machine. “Coffee,” I mumble, then tap the button. Nothing seems to happen.

“What was that,” she asks. “That wasn’t a decision, that was a... a fumble. Do it again. And clear your mind, it knows what scares you.”

I raise an eyebrow at that last part, but obediently turn back to the machine, clear my mind, think coffee with all the decisiveness I can muster, and jab the button. After a second there’s a clunk from the machine and I reach down to claim my can of coffee.

“There you go,” the girl says cheerfully, “I knew you had it in you.” She’s smiling, and I can’t help but smile just a bit along with her.


“Not a problem,” She replies, stepping around me. “Glad to be of help. Anywho, class tomorrow and all that happy stuff, so I think I’ll make my dramatic exit. Nice meeting you.”

“Bye,” I say. watching her exit the room. As she closes the door behind her, it dawns on me that she never mentioned her name.
Last edited by # 2 on Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by griffon8 » Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:00 pm

No hints needed for me. I know who she is.
If my heat were beating, it might have skipped.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by # 2 » Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:49 pm

griffon8 wrote:No hints needed for me. I know who she is.
I imagine most folks will recognize her, but you never know, there may be a person or two who haven't heard of her. ;)
griffon8 wrote:
If my heat were beating, it might have skipped.
Thanks for catching that. :)
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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by Episcia » Tue Jun 12, 2012 9:42 am

I only have one complaint.

You didn't use the original Twilight Zone introduction.

Still, it's a worthy idea. I'm looking forward to it.

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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by # 2 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:28 pm

Episcia wrote:I only have one complaint.

You didn't use the original Twilight Zone introduction.

Still, it's a worthy idea. I'm looking forward to it.
Welllll, that's the intro I remember best from when I was a kid, sitting up late at night, the volume just high enough for me to hear with my face about six inches from grandma's old black and white TV. For me, that introduction is the most iconic.

Also, glad I caught your interest, I hope to live up to expectations. Thanks for the comments.
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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by Guestimate » Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:23 am

So, is Hitomi a creature from Japanese mythology, from another dimension, an alien, or all of the above?

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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by # 2 » Fri Jun 15, 2012 5:21 pm

Guestimate wrote:So, is Hitomi a creature from Japanese mythology, from another dimension, an alien, or all of the above?
Hitomi is the progeny of moekki's superbly talented hands. Have a link here: ... omi#p61942

You'll find Hitomi mostly on the Shimmie, but be warned that it tends to be NSFW.

As to what she is, well, she's a cyclops. A moe cyclops. Yes, it makes no sense. No, I don't care.

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Re: Kikai Shoujo [update 6/11]

Post by Kielox » Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:23 am

When I finished reading this I realised that I have a smile on my face.... That's good, right? Pls more!
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