A Haiku for each girl!

WORDS WORDS WORDS
# 2
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by # 2 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:04 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:I think those were the best ones yet.
They also capture the essence of Haiku best. There is more to it than just counting syllables...
Erm... beginners luck. The most poetry I've done before is dirty lymrics :D
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Kielox
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox » Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:31 am

@ # 2 This is a beautiful collection! Thank you!
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TheSongofRaven
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by TheSongofRaven » Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:17 pm

Ok, i gonna try make Haiku (sorry for a weird words :D)

Once i am a fool
Think everything is lost
But no more

Let me seize the day
while i still got time
while i still got friends

Let me feel love
while i still got time
while i still got lover

Please give me more chance
i don't wanna go away
because i wanna stay
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griffon8
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by griffon8 » Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:29 pm

AusJake wrote:First Post (Yay!) These are the thoughts running through my head at that time *Contains Spoilers i guess*

"Comfort Me, Hisao"
Oh my god, im in heaven
Bad End. WHAT THE FU-!?!


i was expecting it, but still.....
Hisao is three syllables…
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AusJake
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by AusJake » Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:33 am

griffon8 wrote: Hisao is three syllables…
Not the way i pronounce it (hiss-ow Probably because i use Australian English, which has a habit of pronouncing everything not Australian English wrong. in my experience anyway).

(side note, this was my first attempt at a haiku since Adv English in school (2-3 years.) I may be rusty :p
Last edited by AusJake on Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Here lies Jake, Died 1/6/12 of an Awesome Overload

Jesse: nothing says comfort like De-flowering a lesbian with your penis..
Me: your a girl. And what?! Where'd you read that?
Jesse: i didn't, im a hermaphrodite...
Me: you wish.
Jesse: i do.
* the awkward silence that followed.... My gawd!*

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:37 am

AusJake wrote: Probably because i use Australian english, which has a habit of prononcong everything not australian english wrong. in my experience anyway). :p
Fixed that for you.
No need to thank me :-)
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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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AusJake
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by AusJake » Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:01 am

Mirage_GSM wrote: Fixed that for you.
No need to thank me :-)
My fingers are frozen and its hard to type.... that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it >.>

Thanks for the correction :twisted:
Here lies Jake, Died 1/6/12 of an Awesome Overload

Jesse: nothing says comfort like De-flowering a lesbian with your penis..
Me: your a girl. And what?! Where'd you read that?
Jesse: i didn't, im a hermaphrodite...
Me: you wish.
Jesse: i do.
* the awkward silence that followed.... My gawd!*

# 2
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by # 2 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:41 pm

Some may say broken,
I say look beneath the skin,
There lies the beauty.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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Kielox
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox » Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:03 am

There has been an amazingly high number of amazingly good haikus produced as a result of this exercise, which is amazing! :) These forum are truly the host of a lot of good and versatile writers. Now we need someone to illustrate some of them and we'll have something truly special :)

@AusJake - this might be the first haiku in the world that contains the words "what the fu-" :P
@TheSongofRaven - this is a good start - you need to work a little bit more to get the form right (focus on the syllables) and then try transitioning into increasing the depth of the content - ie a haiku is all about creating a strong, tangible, image and/or inducing a strong feeling, which is to be created through the juxtaposition of two different concepts/lesser images.
@# 2 - Another masterpiece :)
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TheSongofRaven
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by TheSongofRaven » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:40 am

Kielox wrote:There has been an amazingly high number of amazingly good haikus produced as a result of this exercise, which is amazing! :) These forum are truly the host of a lot of good and versatile writers. Now we need someone to illustrate some of them and we'll have something truly special :)
@TheSongofRaven - this is a good start - you need to work a little bit more to get the form right (focus on the syllables) and then try transitioning into increasing the depth of the content - ie a haiku is all about creating a strong, tangible, image and/or inducing a strong feeling, which is to be created through the juxtaposition of two different concepts/lesser images.
Okay thanks for advice :D anyway i try make this one for Hanako :

From the scars,
From the books,
I shall own my fear

And this for Lilly :

The beautiful dawn,
The wind whispering,
I can see what i can see
"I believe everything like horse race. When you are lose, simply ride the horse again and face any challange"
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:16 am

TheSongofRaven wrote:<poetry>
Five, seven, then five
Syllables make a haiku.
Remarkable oaf.

Note: No ill will intended by the above; merely advice in the form of a quote. Cookie for the reference. Moving on...

Surrounded by snow,
My love warms my heart, but fate
Snatches him away.

Rejected and hurt,
I follow her in the hope
She might change her mind.

Cold and cynical,
Then given a second chance.
Happiness once more.

Life is just a game,
Mine to manipulate.
Won, only to lose.
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TheSongofRaven
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by TheSongofRaven » Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:03 am

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:
TheSongofRaven wrote:<poetry>
Five, seven, then five
Syllables make a haiku.
Remarkable oaf.

Note: No ill will intended by the above; merely advice in the form of a quote. Cookie for the reference. Moving on...

Surrounded by snow,
My love warms my heart, but fate
Snatches him away.

Rejected and hurt,
I follow her in the hope
She might change her mind.

Cold and cynical,
Then given a second chance.
Happiness once more.

Life is just a game,
Mine to manipulate.
Won, only to lose.
Here lemme continue :p

Allow me to take you
To the dawn of future
Where is nothing to worried

And let us
The couple of old fools
Pretend to be adult

And nothing to look back in anger
Or crying your heart out
Because you are not alone
"I believe everything like horse race. When you are lose, simply ride the horse again and face any challange"
Twitter : @GrimPointman, Skype : steven.yehezkiel6791

# 2
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by # 2 » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:09 pm

A slumbering girl,
Jade green eyes, closed now in peace,
I shall guard her dreams.

A demon draws near,
Haughty, mad with her power
Dares my love to wake.

Her minion cries out,
Laughter, it beguiles the truth,
Cries out like the cock.

My love slumbers on,
She'll not be aroused by fools,
This I must assure.

Wrathful is my tongue,
The fires of Hell I invoke,
Brave Genji's blade drawn.

The demon shrinks back,
Fear in her eyes, lest I strike,
And forfeit her life.

Peace once again reigns,
The sleep of my love not fouled,
Again I stand guard.

If great God himself,
Should come for my beloved,
He too shall I slay.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:01 am

# 2 wrote:<epic poetry of epicness>
Wow. That... that was beautiful. I don't know what else to say. Wow.
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BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!

crushinator
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by crushinator » Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:17 am

TheSongofRaven wrote:
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:
TheSongofRaven wrote:<poetry>
Five, seven, then five
Syllables make a haiku.
Remarkable oaf.

Note: No ill will intended by the above; merely advice in the form of a quote. Cookie for the reference. Moving on...

Surrounded by snow,
My love warms my heart, but fate
Snatches him away.

Rejected and hurt,
I follow her in the hope
She might change her mind.

Cold and cynical,
Then given a second chance.
Happiness once more.

Life is just a game,
Mine to manipulate.
Won, only to lose.
Here lemme continue :p

Allow me to take you
To the dawn of future
Where is nothing to worried

And let us
The couple of old fools
Pretend to be adult

And nothing to look back in anger
Or crying your heart out
Because you are not alone
Those aren't Haikus, friend!
Our preferred written text has
rules to adhere to.

Back on topic:

A heart is broken,
a bond of two people made,
can love heal all wounds?

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