A Haiku for each girl!

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Ascended Flutist
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Ascended Flutist » Tue May 29, 2012 7:09 am

Kielox wrote: @Ascended Flutist
That's a good one, and sad. I think all haikus about Hanako are bound to be sad :( It would be a challenge to write a happy one, we should try it, although I still haven't played through her route.
Well, let's see what this does :

The road starts today
From love, hope soared within me
Free of fear, at last.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

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Hoitash
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Hoitash » Tue May 29, 2012 9:37 am

While not really a girl, I couldn't resist:

High School Science Class
Most of them are Ignorants
Just Nakai gets it

Yeah, I was never good at poetry.
Last edited by Hoitash on Tue May 29, 2012 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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crushinator
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by crushinator » Tue May 29, 2012 10:08 am

Gotta go real fast
Even if I don't have legs
Really Really fast

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Kielox
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox » Tue May 29, 2012 1:47 pm

I wrote a new one about Lilly, really happy with it:

Let me touch your face,
Your skin - the map upon which
I chart my future.

------------------------------------------------------
@andros414 - Yes but in a way he gained no less than five more lives - one with each girl :) However, I agree that from Iwanako's perspective he kind of lost his life.
@crushinator - I like the new entries, Emi's haiku compendium is getting bigger and bigger!
@Ascended Flutist - This haiku captures an excellent feeling of peace, finally something nice for Hanako!
@Hoitash - it's a good start, now try to juxtapose to different images in one haiku, that's the next step...
King of a hundred horsemen.

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BlackRockHanako
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackRockHanako » Tue May 29, 2012 3:03 pm

I like this!
Hoitash wrote:While not really a girl, I couldn't resist:

High School Science Class
Most of them are Ignorants
Just Hisao gets it

Yeah, I was never good at poetry.
One too many syllables on the last line. Replacing 'Hisao' with 'Nakai' works (Unless I can't pronounce Nakai right, you never know).
crushinator wrote:Gotta go real fast
Even if I don't have legs
Really Really fast
One too many syllables on the first line. Replace 'Gotta' with 'Must'?


What's that, I have to post one too? Alright, have two for Miki.

Delicious brown skin
Tomboy with a cheeky grin
Missing my left hand.

She's asleep in class,
I have to go wake Suzu,
Wonder what she dreams.

crushinator
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by crushinator » Tue May 29, 2012 3:37 pm

BlackRockHanako wrote:
crushinator wrote:Gotta go real fast
Even if I don't have legs
Really Really fast
One too many syllables on the first line. Replace 'Gotta' with 'Must'?
Gott (1) -a (2) go (3) real (4) fast (5)


Tezuka's art shines,
If only she would accept
the help I offer.

Nomiya

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BlackRockHanako
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackRockHanako » Tue May 29, 2012 5:36 pm

crushinator wrote:
BlackRockHanako wrote:
crushinator wrote:Gotta go real fast
Even if I don't have legs
Really Really fast
One too many syllables on the first line. Replace 'Gotta' with 'Must'?
Gott (1) -a (2) go (3) real (4) fast (5)


Tezuka's art shines,
If only she would accept
the help I offer.

Nomiya
Fair enough, I'd pronounce it ree-uhl, but a check online reveals that it is in fact 1 syllable. My whole life has been a lie.

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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Tue May 29, 2012 8:19 pm

What's that you say, boy?
You wish to date my daughter?
Ha! Disrespectful!

Hi! I'm Meiko.
I'm totally not a MILF;
I'm dating the Nurse.

"What are you having?"
"Champ- ow, I mean, orange juice,
thank you, Akira."
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noooicantuseguest

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by noooicantuseguest » Wed May 30, 2012 6:43 pm

abracadabra
rin's logic might be magic
arbadacarba

tied by shizune
damn this girl's on top of things
dried by shizune

when I was a boy
haikus were done 1-3-1
lazy fucking kids

I was going to do a kenji and a lilly haiku, but I think I'm haiku'd out. Maybe that's a good thing XD

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Kielox
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox » Thu May 31, 2012 9:35 am

@Black Rock Hanako - nice haikus! Re the number of syllables in real - generally the rules are that every vowel is counted as a different syllable, which would mean that real is two syllables. However, in words in which there are two consecutive vowels that transition into each other straight away, it is generally accepted for these to be counted as one.
@BlackWaltzTheThird - love the Akira haiku! Keep it up!
@noooicantuseguest - the shizune one is the kinkiest so far :)
@crushinator - that one might be the best about Rin so far

Here's another one I wrote - it describes the situation when Hisao enters the room in which Lilly is, thinking that it is the library:

This is the wrong room:
Sunset on a pretty girl...
Some mistakes are good
King of a hundred horsemen.

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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Thu May 31, 2012 10:12 am

And now, as part of a series, I present: HNNNNNNGGGG, the Haiku!

Asked out in the snow.
Sudden pain! A certain o-
nomatopeia!

I have a weakness
for puppies! A certain o-
nomatopeia!

Hanako - moe
overload! A certain o-
nomatopeia!

Healthy adoles-
cent sex drive? A certain o-
nomatopeia!

"The problem must be
in your pants!" A certain o-
nomatopeia!

Shizune has a
yukata? A certain o-
nomatopeia!

Manly picnic on
the roof, huh? Damn feminists
left gaps in the fence!
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!

BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!

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Kielox
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox » Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:49 am

@BlackWaltzTheThird -
you raise the bar, sir, you really do! I loled at the last haiku in the sequence :)
King of a hundred horsemen.

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AusJake
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by AusJake » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:29 am

First Post (Yay!) These are the thoughts running through my head at that time *Contains Spoilers i guess*

"Comfort Me, Hisao"
Oh my god, im in heaven
Bad End. WHAT THE FU-!?!


i was expecting it, but still.....
Here lies Jake, Died 1/6/12 of an Awesome Overload

Jesse: nothing says comfort like De-flowering a lesbian with your penis..
Me: your a girl. And what?! Where'd you read that?
Jesse: i didn't, im a hermaphrodite...
Me: you wish.
Jesse: i do.
* the awkward silence that followed.... My gawd!*

# 2
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by # 2 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:25 pm

I must have order.
Within me, without others,
I'll not compromise.
--
Silvery moonlight,
Your glory I'll never know,
Lest my love tells me.
--
What is the word for--
No, now it is forgotten,
'Tis lost in the clouds.
--
My pain is my own,
It's not ever to be shared,
Except with you.
--
Butterfly in flight,
So easily startled yet--
She returns to me.
--
Tears of the clown,
How brutally sad they are.
For you, no comfort.
My Deviations. Please try not to laugh.

Lemons, not just for tangy drinks and incendiaries anymore!

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:38 pm

I think those were the best ones yet.
They also capture the essence of Haiku best. There is more to it than just counting syllables...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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