A Haiku for each girl!

WORDS WORDS WORDS


User avatar
Kielox
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 12:03 pm
Location: UK

A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox »

I have always been fond of the Haiku as a poetry form and as another way to pay homage to the beautiful world of KS I wrote a Haiku for each KS main character. In each haiku I've tried to capture a feeling I associate with the girls or focus on one of the facets of their characters. I hope you like them and by all means feel free to add some of your own!


Lilly

A lone autumn leaf
Rustling through the night air
Can you hear it fall?

Hanako

It stays very quiet,
In my books of solitude,
That burning phoenix.

Emi

Nothing to hold me back,
Now that I have reached the sky.
Will you be my sun?

Shizune

The goal is a dream
Of besting yourself to be-
come invincible

Rin

In a world alone,
Where all true beauty is art...
It's a world I own.

Bonus:

Misha

Wahahahaha
Wahahahahahaha
Wa...Shut up Misha.


If you don't know what a haiku is, here's a short description:
"Haiku is a poetic form and a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language in a meaningful, yet compact form. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables. Haiku doesn't rhyme. A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in 17 syllables."
King of a hundred horsemen.
Kayo12
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:39 pm

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kayo12 »

>Dat Misha

:sad:

Wonderful work, nonetheless. I love haikus.
Image
User avatar
lolawesome
Posts: 134
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:38 am
Location: Vinson Massif, Antartica

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by lolawesome »

I glanced at the title and thought it was "A Hisao For Each Girl!"

Here's a quick try

Lilly

This tea is too cold
Fumbling through Daddy's wine shelf
Delicious champagne
http://pastebin.com/u/lolawesome

my pastebin - no rins tho
User avatar
Kielox
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 12:03 pm
Location: UK

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox »

I like it like Lilly likes her wine :)
King of a hundred horsemen.
User avatar
lolawesome
Posts: 134
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:38 am
Location: Vinson Massif, Antartica

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by lolawesome »

Here's my next attempt

Want to play a game?
Risk? Australia is yours if
You join the council


I don't think I'll do Emi, your haiku for her is God-tier
http://pastebin.com/u/lolawesome

my pastebin - no rins tho
User avatar
Kielox
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 12:03 pm
Location: UK

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox »

God-tier, ha! Thanks, I guess. You can do Rin, if you want, mine is a bit too generic. Shizune's was good.
King of a hundred horsemen.
crushinator
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 7:11 pm

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by crushinator »

Feminists here and
Feminists there, CONFOUND IT!
I am surrounded!
User avatar
lolawesome
Posts: 134
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:38 am
Location: Vinson Massif, Antartica

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by lolawesome »

Okay, here goes

I see butterflies
I see clouds over my head
I want to paint them



bleh, that sucked



EDIT: Retry

I see butterflies
I see clouds over my head
To paint them is life
http://pastebin.com/u/lolawesome

my pastebin - no rins tho
User avatar
Ascended Flutist
Posts: 141
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:53 am
Location: The Sixth House Rubbery Instruments Club

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Ascended Flutist »

Well here's an interesting exercice.

Hanako :

For so long I tried
To remember the taste of
Sweet life without pain.

Though I'll admit, yours was excellent.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

Nice hat.
User avatar
Total Destruction
Posts: 326
Joined: Thu May 10, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Hit Deborah Cliff with your head to make a hole.

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Total Destruction »

Lilly's is some Zen-type coolness. Really dig it.

Emi's has SIX syllables in the first line. I hate to be a nipicky nitpicker, but that threw me so bad, because the haiku is SO GOOD.

:mrgreen:
... Danger.
Beoran
Posts: 440
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:40 am
Contact:

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Beoran »

The Emi one is the best and could be fixed like this:

Emi

Nothing holds me back,
Now that I have reached the sky.
Will you be my sun?

There, perfection! :)
Kind Regards, B.
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here.
Take a look at Eruta my jRPG under development. New web site since december 2012.
Play Ature, my free and open source indie Atari 2600 action adventure game.
All great love is above pity: for it wants - to create what is loved! -- F. Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
User avatar
atw_ah
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun May 06, 2012 7:37 pm
Location: California, USA

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by atw_ah »

Hm... this seems like fun!

Iwanako

Under the bare trees
He fell because of my love
His life lost, my fault

Akira

To protect Lily
Sitting with a beer in hand
God damn that old man
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

Around The World, Always Honorable

My pastebin
User avatar
Kielox
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 12:03 pm
Location: UK

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by Kielox »

Wow guys, I didn't expect to see so many replies and new haikus, it really made my day. Thanks! :)

@crushinator
That really made me lol, I think it is genious; captures Kenji's spirit so well!
@lolawesome
I actually prefer your first version of Rin's haiku and I really like it. I think that Rin is much more likely to say "I want to paint them" than "to paint them is life" Even though she can be very philosophical there is a naive simplicity to her appreciation of the world that is really nicely reflected by your first haiku. That's what I don't like about mine - was a bit too pretentious which is not like Rin.
@Ascended Flutist
That's a good one, and sad. I think all haikus about Hanako are bound to be sad :( It would be a challenge to write a happy one, we should try it, although I still haven't played through her route.
@Beoran and Total Destruction
Thanks for the correction - I don't know how I missed this! Another potential fix is:
Nothing to hold me back,
Now that I've reached the sky.
Will you be my sun?
It does turn it into a 6-6-5 haiku, but this is acceptable in Western haikus. I prefer this fix for the following reason (mostly because it doesn't change the meaning):
"Nothing holds me back" implies that there is nothing that currently holds her back and hence doesn't preclude the option of something eventually holding her back. "Nothing to hold me back", on the other hand, implies that there is nothing in the world that could potentially hold her back now or later. I am delving too deep in semantics but I love that stuff! :)
@atw_ah
I absolutely love Akira's one, it describes her sooo welll! Iwanako's is a bit too tragic, after all he didn't lose his life!

Again, thank you guys and keep them coming! I will write a few more when I have time.
King of a hundred horsemen.
User avatar
andros414
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:58 pm

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by andros414 »

Kielox wrote:<snip>Iwanako's is a bit too tragic, after all he didn't lose his life!
If you think about it, Hisao kind of lost 2 lives: his normal, everyday, I'm-a-regular-guy-with-no-heart-problems life and his potential life with Iwanako.
Shizune > Emi = Hanako > Lilly > Rin
crushinator
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 7:11 pm

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Post by crushinator »

Kielox wrote:Wow guys, I didn't expect to see so many replies and new haikus, it really made my day. Thanks! :)

@crushinator
That really made me lol, I think it is genious; captures Kenji's spirit so well!
Thanks. I also agree with your thoughts on lolawesome's Rin Haiku. After all, one of her troubles is wanting to communicate through her art. I don't think it's her "life" though.

I'll have a quick stab at another one.

Lying on the roof.
A comfortable silence.
Underneath the Sky.
Post Reply