Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

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Wetterl
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Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 12:57 pm

So I decided to for the first time in a few years write a fanfic, so I'm guessing I'm pretty rusty. Well, anyways; takes place right after Lilly's Neutral. Enjoy!


Tea Gone Cold
Chapter One - Restart
Lilly's hand can be seen waving through the tinted windows, both of our hands waving high as well.
Just as every other time I've done such things, I can't work out precisely why I, or Hanako, wave to her given that she has never seen us doing so. But it doesn't matter.
Even after that black, shiny car goes down the hill and disappears into the dark night, we carry on waving and seeing Lilly and Akira off.
And then... they're gone.
A strange stillness takes over as our hands return to our sides.
I don't quite know what I should do or how I should feel. In the end, we just stand there silently standing down at where the car disappeared from sight.
”Goodbye... Lilly,” Hanako whispers.
All I can do in response to her quiet, mournful goodbye is to place a hand on her shoulder.
She looks at me for a few moments before looking back down the hill, secure in the knowledge that I'm still around her.
What we'll do from now doesn't seem all that uncertain. We all have our own ambitions now, just as Lilly said.
But even so, it feels like there's a certain missing part in both our lives now. Something that can never be replaced.

I look at the girl who's shoulder lies beneath my hand, and I see as the first tear drops from her eye. It is followed by another one and then several more from both eyes, but she doesn't make a sound. I wouldn't be surprised if she stays quiet just in case Lilly would hear her and get regrets.Hanako, you're a nice girl.
I embrace her in my arms and she quickly puts her face in my chest. I feel her tears going through my shirt, but I don't care about it. Hanako needs this. I think I need it, too.
I let go of her and back away a little. She looks up at me and I feel a tear coming down my own face. The girl I love has just left the country for what could very well be the rest of her life, and now I stand here comforting my closest friend while she does the same to me. The tear drops from my face but is not followed by another one.
”Please... Hisao...” Hanako whispers with a voice so low I can't stand it. No one deserves to feel like this.
”Yeah, I know. I just think it's a girl shouldn't be crying outside in this cold weather,” I answer her, trying to make her feel better. I think I succeeded slightly.
I put my arm around Hanako's back and start leading us towards the girl's dorm. We walk slowly as she cries. A walk that usually would take one or two minutes takes ten, partially because I have to stop and hug her every few minutes.
I feel bad for not being able to cry with her. Something stops me from doing so, something stops me from actually feeling anything right now. Yeah sure, I'm trying to help Hanako, but that comes off more as instinct than anything. Nobody likes to watch anyone cry, less so if this someone is a friend, and right now Hanako's the only one I would call a real friend. I can't stand her crying.
We finally make our way to the building and I open up the door for her. We slowly escalate the stairs, now almost in a hug while walking.
”It's alright, I know this is painful. I'll help you all I can,” I whisper into her hair.
The picture of Lilly crying is stuck on my mind, and I know that she feels just like Hanako does right now, but she probably won't show it to anyone. I'm not sure if she'd even show that to me. ”It's alright.”
We find our way to Hanako's room and she unlocks the door. The door is opened and she walks in, followed by myself who closes the door. It'd just make it worse if someone saw her, so I lock it.
She falls down on her bed and I take a seat at the floor by her side. Her tears are coming down in floods as she grabs my arm and starts crying into it. It doesn't matter to me; helping Hanako gives me a reason to not be crying myself, instead of just feeling like nothing. I try to comfort her with words, even though I can't think of anything to say that would really help her, which makes me feel bad.
Hanako sits up and I make my way up to the bed myself before forming my arms around her. She lays back down and I follow without a thought. Her tears against my chest and neck are saddening to me, but I feel slightly bad knowing that they are giving me some comfort, too. We go on like this, lying with her face on my chest, her tears on my chest. Right against my scar.
We go on for a long time, and Hanako's breathing slowly goes down. After lying there for quite a while I can hear a slight snore from below my chin, and I realize that she's fallen asleep. I turn my head and find a clock that tells me that it's ten past ten. I guess I have to get to my own dorm, although I would like to stay here with Hanako, but it would just make it all worse if I were to start feeling something. I slowly take my arms away from her, lay a blanket on top of her and walk to the door. Before exiting I smile at the girl in the bed, who I hope will be able to take it better tommorow. She is going on a trip, after all.

I make my way to my own dorm and throw myself on the bed.
What should I do now? I've just had my heart broken and I don't feel a thing. What am I supposed to feel? Love? Hate? Maybe it is best not to feel anything. I have to be there for Hanako, and that'll be a lot easier if I don't have to think about what I have gone through.
Lilly...
I do love her, that's not something I can deny. My first (and what I hoped to be only) love... Was there anything I could've done? Of course not. This was her choice, I couldn't have done anything. It's for the better. I hope.


I try to sleep, but something hinders me. It's not like how it can be hard to sleep when thinking of someone, it's just empty. Nothing in my head, but I can't sleep. It sort of angers me, but I guess there's not much to do.
I look at my wristwatch and can, after some time, make the time out as a few minutes to four. Since the sun's just coming up by the edge of my curtains I'm assuming that it's in the morning. Since I can't sleep I decide I have to do something. Sitting up I look around my room; some stuff here, some stuff there. I settle my eyes on the origami bird Lilly made me and I once again begin to think.
Should I have done something tonight? Would she have wanted that? Get a cab and chase her to the airport?
I guess it's too late for that now. If I had thought of it earlier I probably would've done it, but now there's no use. They left hours ago, and in just over half a day they'll be in Scotland.

I drop my gaze from the bird and end up looking at my closet. I get an idea: Running. Emi always does it, and she looks so peaceful doing it: I might as well try. Changing quickly, I leave my room for the track field. Nobody in the entire school seems to be awake, and I don't run into any guards to tell me off or anything.
When I get to my goal I stare at what I'm going to do. My heart won't like this, but I guess I'd even prefer a heart attack to a broken mind right now, so I start running. I quickly feel my body getting tired from it, but I keep going. Soon, I lose it all and run at my fullest. Had I done this without this emotional war inside myself I'd gotten a heart attack quickly, but something keeps it away right now. Hate? Seems the most logical.
I continue running for long before I fall to my knees on and vomit. My heart catches up to me, and the sound of my quick heartbeat booms in my ears. I try to take deep breaths and after a few minutes it goes away. I let out the last my stomach holds before crawling to the bleachers and lying down. Not comfortable, but I guess I don't really have a choice now.



Glad for any criticism, I'm almost done with Chapter Two and will upload if this is appreciated.
Last edited by Wetterl on Tue May 29, 2012 10:22 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Elcor
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Re: Tea Gone Cold

Post by Elcor » Fri May 25, 2012 1:18 pm

Interesting I look forward to seeing this unfold.
If you don't mind me asking will your writing take this story to the festival?
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Tea Gone Cold

Post by Mahorfeus » Fri May 25, 2012 1:21 pm

I'm interested in seeing where this is going - I like it so far.

One thing I'd suggest is to space out your paragraphs better, particularly at points before a character speaks. Also, I don't think the dialogue really needs to be bold; it might just be me, but it puts a little too much emphasis on those particular words. Multiple times I found myself reading it before the text that precedes it.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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Wetterl
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Re: Tea Gone Cold

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 1:24 pm

Elcor wrote:Interesting I look forward to seeing this unfold.
If you don't mind me asking will your writing take this story to the festival?
Thanks!

I'm not sure exactly what will happen myself, that's just my style of writing. (Well, at least it used to be and still seems like it.)
Mahorfeus wrote:I'm interested in seeing where this is going - I like it so far.

One thing I'd suggest is to space out your paragraphs better, particularly at points before a character speaks. Also, I don't think the dialogue really needs to be bold; it might just be me, but it puts a little too much emphasis on those particular words. Multiple times I found myself reading it before the text that precedes it.
Thanks!

I'll try to space it out more as I continue, I can see myself that it gets messy at times. Sorry about the bold, it's just something I've picked up from who knows where. I'll take it away, since it doesn't compel to myself that much either.
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Wetterl
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 4:06 pm

Decided to release Chapter Two now, while I just started writing the third. Won't be able to upload this often in the future, but I guess I can do a starting bonus.


Chapter Two - A Running Start
”Hey, why are you sleeping here?”
The familiar voice wakes me up. I'm blinded by the sun, so I put my hand against my forehead and look towards Emi who's standing there in her regular running-outfit.
”Nothing better to do. Just wondering, that running partner-position wouldn't still be open, would it?” I ask her, tiredly. She giggles.
”If you insist. But you owe me a favor.” We make eyecontact and I notice a glimmer in her eyes, something that looks like happiness. I guess this is more fun for her if there's someone running with her.
As I stand up I feel a tingling sensation in my legs, which I assume comes from all the running I did last night. Whatever kept me going last night might continue this morning, who knows.
We make our way down to the track, although she barely touches the ground. Her way of walking with her running legs on is quite cute, and being focused on her walking she catches me by surprise when she starts running. I follow.
She starts off quite slowly (Considering her regular speed, that is) and I follow at that pace. I assume she's warming up, and I guess I should really do the same. My legs feel like jelly, but I decide to ignore their pleas: I'm going to do this, it's good for my heart, but I guess the main reason is to try to run off my thoughts.
After a lap at this pace Emi speeds up, and I quickly fall behind. Not that it really matters, but I guess I could try to follow her as best I can, so I speed up. I don't know how I do it, but I slowly but securely make my way up to her. When she notices me she gives me a huge smile and says something that I can't hear. I try to give her a smile back, but my body won't listen to me and just continues to run.
Emi speeds up again, and this time I know I don't stand a chance to catch her so I continue at this pace. I haven't really counted the laps, but I think I'm at three now, excluding the warm-up. It's scary what emotions can do to your body. I go on.
Four laps. Five. Like some hours ago I fall to my knees. A ringing fills my ears, but I don't have anything to vomit so I just sit there, panting.
Dum-dum.
The sound catches me off guard.
Dum-dum.
Heart flutter. The heart beats faster than it's supposed to.
Dum-dum.
I take slow, deep breaths and after what feels like an eternity I feel my pulse going down. It's no regular pulse, but considering I just ran five laps at quite a speed I guess that's not that strange. Emotions can't take you to the end of the world.
I look up and see Emi standing before me. She looks distraught, almost scared. I realise that she hasn't seen me like this since she ran into me when we first met.
”My heart...” I tell her between deep breaths.
”S-should I get the nurse?” she asks, more as a statement than a question. She turns around and starts running off, but I shout after her.
”Don't worry, it's better now.” It hurts to say it, so I decide not to say anything more whatever she does. She slows down and then runs back. Her eyes look more sad than distraught now, and I try to say something, but my body decides to not answer.
”Are you sure?” she asks with a faint voice. I nod as an answer, but it doesn't seem to make her feel any better. We just sit there, me panting because of my bad shape, Emi looking at me. Had it not been for my body burning on the inside I might've enjoyed the moment.
”Wait... Your heart? Does that mean that when I ran into you...?” she asks with a voice that doesn't fit her. I think for a moment, but decide to be honest. She'd know anyway, and I nod. Her face goes red and she launches at me in a hug.
”I'm so sorry Hisao this is all my fault and I should've known when I saw you back then but I'm an idiot so I didn't understand and now you're feeling bad because of me!” she cries out with the voice of someone who regrets killing someone. Embracing me, her body feels quite soft and pleasant.
”Don't worry, it's all my fault. I had to run my emotions off,” I answer without letting go of her. For a few seconds we just sit right there before she backs off. She seems to think for a few seconds before realising what I ment.
”Lilly went away yesterday.” Her face turns red again, and it gives me a small smile. At the sight of it her face goes back to her regular slightly tanned tone and she smiles back at me with what I at the moment believe to be the cutest smile I've ever seen. She goes back to her worried face quite quickly, though.
”Are you sure you're alright?” Her worried face is killing me.
”I'm fine, don't worry.”
”Are you sure? You can talk to me about whatever it is, Hisao.” I sigh. It probably would feel better talking about it, and she doesn't leave much of a choice, does she.
”I'm just not sure what to feel. I mean, sure, I do love her, and wish that I could somehow go back in time and make her stay, but I know that's not possible. I guess a part of me wants to hate her for leaving. It probably already does, but I know I won't feel that in more than that small part. It's just...” I don't have time to say more before she launches herself at me again. She has quite the power for her size, I have to say. We continue to sit there for a few minutes before she realises something.
”I have to go see the nurse, and you're coming with me.” She's not a girl to ever leave much of a choice, is she? We stand up and she takes my hand before taking off for the nurse's office. She tries to get running before realising that she's holding my hand and slows down. We walk in silence to the nurse's office. It's not an awkward silence, more of a silence that has to be kept because of reasons unknown to both of us.

Emi walks up to the door with the sign that says NURSE. She doesn't care to knock, but I guess she isn't really one to knock, either. The man I have come to call Nurse doesn't look up at the door so I assume that this happens most mornings.
”Hi Emi!” he says with a tone in his voice I haven't come to get used to, mostly because we haven't really met more than whenever he checks my heart, which is every few weeks. He looks up and notices me, for a moment appearing to think before giving his trademark smile. ”So someone decided to finally listen to me? A miracle, I tell you!”
”He was even there before me!” Emi says with her happy voice. Nurse's smile slightly alters towards a more neutral form, so I can assume that he heard a change of tone in Emi's voice that made him react.
”I guess that means I'll have to double my work this morning,” he says with an extremely fake angry voice. His trademark smile comes on again. ”So who am I taking care of first?” Emi immediately shoves me through the door, more to the surprise of me than Nurse. I instantly think that she will say something along the lines of ”FIX HIM” but she doesn't. The door is closed behind me.
”Something's happened?” Nurse asks, losing his trademark smile. I don't dare lie to him: I'm pretty sure he can read thoughts.
”I ran. A lot. My heart didn't like it.” He frowns as an answer. ”Heart flutter.”
Nurse sighs. ”Considering Miss Satou leaving last night I guess I can't scold you too much, but you have to be sure to take it easier from now on.” I nod for an answer, before taking my shirt off and going through the regular process of letting him put the stethoscope for a few seconds at different places on my chest and back. It doesn't feel cold, for some reason.
It takes just over a minute before I'm ready to leave and I wave back at him through the just opened door. I assume he has his smile on. I turn to Emi who seems to look worried, so I halfly force a smile which gives her a smile and turns my faked one into a real.
”I have to go say goodbye to Hanako, so I guess I'll see you later.” She just gives me a smile as an answer, mostly because of Nurse interrupting and taking her in. I walk back to my dorm and decide to have a hot, relaxing shower before going to meet Hanako.
Just a small town girl.

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Elcor
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Elcor » Fri May 25, 2012 4:22 pm

Very nice addition.
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Wetterl
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 4:37 pm

Elcor wrote:Very nice addition.
I present to you a second thank.
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nemz
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by nemz » Fri May 25, 2012 5:06 pm

Could be interesting, but a bit too soon to tell.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Zombiedude101 » Fri May 25, 2012 5:10 pm

Looks good so far, keep up the excellent writing.
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Wetterl
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 5:11 pm

nemz wrote:Could be interesting, but a bit too soon to tell.
I thank you for seeing potential.
Zombiedude101 wrote:Looks good so far, keep up the excellent writing.
Thanks! Although I wouldn't call my writing excellent, but I will accept the compliment.
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Brogurt » Fri May 25, 2012 5:46 pm

Not loving the formatting.

If I were you, and I swear I told this to someone before, I'd turn all single breaks into double breaks.

I haven't actually read the story yet. I hope you now know why.

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Wetterl
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Wetterl » Fri May 25, 2012 5:51 pm

Brogurt wrote:Not loving the formatting.

If I were you, and I swear I told this to someone before, I'd turn all single breaks into double breaks.

I haven't actually read the story yet. I hope you now know why.
I'll take that advice from now on, and thanks for the advice.
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Elcor
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Elcor » Fri May 25, 2012 5:58 pm

Brogurt wrote:Not loving the formatting.

If I were you, and I swear I told this to someone before, I'd turn all single breaks into double breaks.

I haven't actually read the story yet. I hope you now know why.
You can read it Brogurt...its worth a "fat" comment in end.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Brogurt » Fri May 25, 2012 6:04 pm

Elcor wrote: You can read it Brogurt...its worth a "fat" comment in end.
That's Doomish only because I love him so much.

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Elcor
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Re: Tea Gone Cold [WIP]

Post by Elcor » Fri May 25, 2012 6:07 pm

I do apologize, I was unaware of the special meaning behind "fat".
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

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