Stars and Stripes

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu May 24, 2012 7:24 am

He was part of an early draft but got cut relatively early during development.
Canon is she doesn't have a dog, tough he appears in a few fanfictions.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Elcor
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Elcor » Thu May 24, 2012 6:52 pm

One such fan fiction that mentions Niji was written by chaix called Flurries, a Flower, and crazy Females. It is a great story, personally I would recommend reading A Demon's Visit before hand.

And don't feel to bad about making Akira into an incestuous female who is also into boys who could be mistaken for a girl, and might be getting her rocks off more at the fact that her own sister could be listening in. If it makes you feel better there is an old saying, "As the world turns..."
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

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Total Destruction
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Total Destruction » Thu May 24, 2012 10:01 pm

Elcor wrote:One such fan fiction that mentions Niji was written by chaix called Flurries, a Flower, and crazy Females. It is a great story, personally I would recommend reading A Demon's Visit before hand.

And don't feel to bad about making Akira into an incestuous female who is also into boys who could be mistaken for a girl, and might be getting her rocks off more at the fact that her own sister could be listening in. If it makes you feel better there is an old saying, "As the world turns..."
I'll check 'em out. Heh, and while I don't plan on making this thing a vile pit of decadence (LAWL not yet, hahah; maybe, we'll see), I'll keep that in mind. :mrgreen:

What I HAVE decided to do, though, is to extend this nonsense. You've only yourselves to blame. Here's a part two. And remember to be merciless in the condemnation of my writing and record collection.

***

"Your pain has no credential here
It's just a shadow of my wound."

- Godflesh, "Mothra"

Sometimes standing out is the best way to blend in.

When people see my scars, the cruel ones point and laugh, while the crueler ones put me out of sight, out of mind, and talk about how bad it must be to be me when they think I can't hear them. Like I'm invisible, but not quite all the way. Like the cartoons I used to watch back at the orphanage when someone who was invisible was surrounded by a human-shaped dotted line. Like they can't see me but know that I'm standing right there.

When people see my scars, they often are so busy trying to desperately look away and act natural that they don't realize that I can see all of theirs. You can tell a lot about a person that way, how they react to something or someone like me, how they try to smooth over their curiosity or hide their disgust.

I don't really like people that much. It's not just because of my scars and how they react, though that's a big part of it. No, it's that most of them are liars. They keep up fronts that are more transparent than the dotted line girl I become, which is kind of a lie in itself, and one I'm not very happy about.

That's why I like... No, love Lilly so much. It's not because she's so nice to me, it's not because she can't see how ugly I am, it's not because she needs me as much as I need her. It's because she's honest. There's not a single hidden thing about her. Lilly is Lilly, all the time. She never turns into a monster like everyone else or an invisible girl like me.

That's why I like Hisao, too, even if he is kind of slow. He means well, and I think that of all of us, he has the best reason for being a good person. I don't think he'd let himself live with ever lying to any of us, or himself, because the next day, he might not even be alive. It scares me to think about things like that, but I'm good at hiding things like that.

I used to think that that was why I liked Akira, too.

Akira had taken Lilly and I into town to go shopping, along with their cousin, Hideaki. I remember that the first time I met him, I couldn't believe he was Shizune's brother; I also couldn't believe he wasn't actually a girl. He wasn't anything like her. Much more relaxed, maybe a bit more in his own world than I was comfortable with, and very analytic. He asked me point-blank how got my scars and why I was at Yamaku. Lilly scolded him and told him it was kind of a bad subject for me. He just nodded and left it at that.

A lot more blunt of a person than I'm used to, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. More importantly, he was honest. I don't think Hideaki even knows how to make a fake Hideaki, much less does he have one. So while I wasn't exactly comfortable with him, he was a good person.

We were about to cross the street to browse through a book store I had my eye on, when Lilly's phone started ringing. She excused herself and answered, talking very animatedly with someone, more than likely a classmate about the upcoming festival. I took a seat on a bench and glanced at the book store, then over to Akira and Hideaki holding hands.

I'd seen them do this before, and didn't think anything of it, aside from how much I envied gestures like that. It's one of those things that not having a family any more does to you.

But this was different. In that brief second they glanced at each other, I knew it was something else. They weren't looking at each other like my mother used to look at me. No, they were looking at each other like I'd seen the couples back at Yamaku look at each other, like how pretty much everyone looks at Lilly. I gasped a lot more loudly than I had wanted to, and they turned heads toward me.

I'd never wanted to be an invisible girl more in my life.

Hideaki seemed to tense up, and he looked up at Akira almost uncertainly. Akira then looked me straight in the eye, eyebrow raised.

I'd seen this look before. It was the same look she gave anyone else whenever she saw they noticed my scars. It was a look that cut me to the core and asked "What are you going to do about it?"

Later that day, as Akira dropped us off back at Yamaku, I tugged at her sleeve and told her that I wouldn't tell anybody. She grinned and winked at me, and asked "About what?"

Akira is a good person. She's not always honest, but the secrets she does have... I'm not sure I'm comfortable with them, but they aren't bad ones.

"If you wish to conquer pain
You must learn to serve it well."
Last edited by Total Destruction on Sat May 26, 2012 2:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
... Danger.

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griffon8
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by griffon8 » Thu May 24, 2012 10:58 pm

Total Destruction wrote:I couldn't believe he was Shizune's sister; I also couldn't believe he wasn't actually a girl. He wasn't anything like her.
Whoops…

And interesting that Hanako thinks Hideaki is nothing like Shizune given how much Hideaki reminded Hisao of Shizune when meeting Hideaki in Lilly's path.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri May 25, 2012 7:01 am

If this is set before the festival, Hanako doesn't know about Hisao's condition yet.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Elcor
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Elcor » Fri May 25, 2012 8:59 am

Aww, I remember those invisible lines that made you stick out like a sore thumb. Oh, Nostalgia.
You got me thinking this is heading towards a Lilly x Hisao couple area.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

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Total Destruction
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Total Destruction » Sat May 26, 2012 2:52 am

griffon8 wrote:
Total Destruction wrote:I couldn't believe he was Shizune's sister; I also couldn't believe he wasn't actually a girl. He wasn't anything like her.
Whoops…

And interesting that Hanako thinks Hideaki is nothing like Shizune given how much Hideaki reminded Hisao of Shizune when meeting Hideaki in Lilly's path.
DAMMIT. :D Although it could be used for comedic effect (you know, the whole lovely "trap" thing), it's too awkward. I'm prolly way better off changing that.

As for Hanako's view of Hideaki versus Hisao's, good point bringing that up. I thought awfully hard about that, and decided to go with what I did. While Hideaki and Shizune are very similar, Hisao got a lot more face time with Shizune in Lilly's route, what with her trying to strong-arm him into the student council for a straight week. Sure, Hanako's been at Yamaku all throughout high school, but her contact with Shizune was either extremely limited and extremely "in-your-face," be it either from social anxiety, Lilly and Shizune's antipathy, AND/OR the inability to separate her and Misha as seperate entities due to the whole " Misha being her voice" thing (that last one's a spitball if there ever was one, hahah).

Thanks for mentioning that, though!
Mirage_GSM wrote:If this is set before the festival, Hanako doesn't know about Hisao's condition yet.
Very good catch. Had I not been REALLY careful with my tenses, this would have screwed the whole thing up. :D
Elcor wrote:You got me thinking this is heading towards a Lilly x Hisao couple area.
Nope. It's heading toward Akira and Hideaki. :mrgreen:

Thanks for the feedback, guys. Lots of mistakes, but we can work with this. Also, this might just be a series of some kind? Who knew I had it in me?
... Danger.

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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Elcor » Sat May 26, 2012 8:36 am

Total Destruction wrote:
Elcor wrote:You got me thinking this is heading towards a Lilly x Hisao couple area.
Nope. It's heading toward Akira and Hideaki. :mrgreen:
Aww, shucks and here I was hoping that Lilly and Hisao would be caught out late and have to stay at Akira's place and then Lilly's adolescent sex drive would want her to play that game of "Which Sister is louder"
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Total Destruction » Sat May 26, 2012 7:32 pm

Elcor wrote:[Aww, shucks and here I was hoping that Lilly and Hisao would be caught out late and have to stay at Akira's place and then Lilly's adolescent sex drive would want her to play that game of "Which Sister is louder"
You never know. :twisted:
... Danger.

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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Total Destruction » Thu May 31, 2012 9:22 am

You bastards. I am losing sleep over Katawa Shoujo pr0n fics. So take this. This part was actually really uncomfortable for me to write, but we'll see what the hell, right? Feedback and trashing of my musical tastes encouraged. (Also, I noticed a lot of fics on here have characters in brackets/parentheses in their titles and have a hyperlinked table of contents. Would this be a necessary fix on my part? Lemme know, yeah?

***

"Play my song the serpent whispered
Golden skin and eyes of flame
Painted heart and painted nails
She ran her fingers down the scales."
- The March Violets, "Snake Dance"


Every day of my life. Every day I have to wake up. I look at myself. I doubt myself, almost hate myself. I take a long, cold shower and try to scrub away that guilt. I scour my teeth and spit out that taste that I won't admit is sweeter than candy. Then I look in the mirror again and ask myself if I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons, or even if what I'm doing is right at all.

Sometimes I won't have an answer. Sometimes I'll have to go with the flow and work through the dailly grind, keeping my thoughts at bay and until I get home, pour myself a nice single malt scotch on ice, and ask myself the same questions and not believe the same answers. I'll beat the same, tired worries as always to an even finer dust than the night before, and make no progress in my head, but more than a bit in my bottle. Then I'll wake up, look, doubt, almost hate, and start the same game over and over again.

Sometimes my answer doesn't come immediately, but when it does, I seize it with great relish and an almost insatiable thirst. Like a blessed rain after a long drought, I find myself drinking it in till I nearly drown. This is it, I think to myself. This is what I've been looking for. A reason. A reminder. An excuse to shut up and not think about pain, about right, about wrong, about anything or anyone else. An opportunity to shut my brain right the hell off and give in to my body, what it wants, needs, craves, must absolutely have or it will surely wither, fade, and cease to be.

And sometimes I don't have to wait for my answer. I cherish those mornings. Mornings like this.

He's still sleeping as I come out of the shower. He always looks so serene when he's asleep. Maybe it's because his dreams are peaceful and soothing. Maybe it's because everytime I see him sleeping I've thoroughly fucked his brains out the night before. Regardless, he's absolutely adorable. I can't help but grin appreciatively as I finish drying off, all the while giving him a good once-over. His lustrous hair with that insufferable (but admittedly cute) ribbon, his smooth, hairless chest, his girlish hips that could rival mine...

I've never been too sure of why it happened. I try not to ask myself.

He had always been my favorite cousin. Not like he had much competition, though, as I found his sister to be a bit too much like her father for my liking; even with the whole deafness thing going for her, she seemed just as loud and confrontational as the big man himself.

He'd always been different. Kind of out of it, awkward, definitely odd, but in a rather endearing way. His habit of looking like he'd been through his sister's wardrobe probably made him that much more incomprehensible to everyone else, but I found him an awful lot of fun to be around.

I came over to visit him one day. I entered his room and saw him lying on his bed, looking really depressed about something. Hell, it looked like he might have been crying, and that broke my heart, so I joined him on the bed and asked him what was wrong. He'd been upset because a few people at his school had been calling him names. Gay. Queer. Faggot. Others that I can't remember, be it either due to offensive ness or sheer linguistic ingenuity. What made him really upset, though, and what got my blood boiling, was that lately, he'd been hearing this from his own father.

So I settled down, gave his ridiculous space-patterned leggings a quick glance, and asked him if he was. He seemed to mull it over for quite some time, and responded with a characteristically deadpan "I dunno."

I asked him the next logical thing, if he thought women were pretty. He seemed to ponder this even more, this time answering with much more tentative "I'm not really sure." I'd have left it well enough alone, had he not added a surprisingly meek "But I think you're pretty."

I could have sworn he blushed right then and there, because I sure as hell did. I was touched. I whispered a "thank you" to him, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. And another. And another. Then one on his soft lips. And another and oh, God, just what the fuck am I doing. Oh, God, what the hell is he doing back. Oh. Oh. We're doing this. Oh, fuck. We're really doing this. We're really doing this right now with Jigoro downstairs and everything and oh for fuck's sake where are my hands going why am I not stopping this is wrong so so so very wrong on so many levels and oh Goddamnit if you even try to stop little boy I will end you right here and now and oh God yes I'm going to hell and I'm taking you and your sweet little ass right there with me...

He's still sleeping as I stroke his hair absentmindedly with my thumb. It's mornings like these that I love the most, because my reason's right there in front of me. It doesn't have to be right, I mused, as long as it feels right. Which I'm still not sure it does, I admit as I lightly kiss his brow, but now's not the time to think. His beautiful blue eyes flutter open. I grin, then pounce.

He's got me all worked up again.
... Danger.

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Elcor
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Elcor » Thu May 31, 2012 9:47 am

*pats you on the heads* its alright it happens, you wake up in a cold sweat mind swimming, its a normal side effect.
Now as for back story that is interesting and is proof that he is like his sister, another great and humors addition.

and this whole line
Total Destruction wrote:Goddamnit if you even try to stop little boy I will end you right here and now and oh God yes I'm going to hell and I'm taking you and your sweet little ass right there with me
just made it, I laughed so damn hard.

As for your question in linking, if you wanted to it would allow those who haven't read it to be able to do so without having to search.
Oh and your music selection sucks and thats coming from the heart, yo. *pounds chest twice then gives the peace sign* XD
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu May 31, 2012 7:07 pm

Regarding links - it is a nice bonus for those who come late to a story and are not interested in the comments.
I fall in neither category, so I don't really need them. Also, they are probably only relevant if you expect the story to go on for more than half a dozen chapters.
And as for including the characters in the thread title - this is actually something I don't like at all, but it's a matter of personal preference.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

# 2
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by # 2 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:48 pm

Not my usual choice of subject matter, BUT, the characterizations are interesting and the prose is easy to read. I like short, sweet and to the point.
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Re: Stars and Stripes

Post by Total Destruction » Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:20 pm

Elcor wrote:Oh and your music selection sucks and thats coming from the heart, yo. *pounds chest twice then gives the peace sign*
# 2 wrote:Not my usual choice of subject matter, BUT, the characterizations are interesting and the prose is easy to read. I like short, sweet and to the point.
Both of these are the best praise I can ever hope to receive.

:mrgreen:
... Danger.

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