The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED 02/26/2015*

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED*

Post by Megumeru » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:14 am

I wonder how long an extended shower would last for him ;-)
Maybe...30-45 minutes? :lol:

Need my makeup to look good with the swag-vest!
far?
ah, 'far more than what I am capable of'...missed a word. Is that grammatically correct though?
Somebody nabbed a few of your words it seems...
'neatly aligned on one end.' Yeah, I see that now hahaha :oops:
now eagerly pointing the door;
again!
leaving Misha and I alone in the hallway
"Misha and me"
the air is much colder that it pierces deep through the skin
Maybe your word processor is leaking ;-)
her mouth went agape for a second before immediately clasping them tight
Mouth is singular.
be my guess
guest
while the other towards Shizune’s order and discipline.
Another missing word.
Is how little Shizune spare her regards to Lilly and her more social approach in the Student Council.
Not sure what is wrong here, but it's not a complete sentence either.
the only person who is still in the Student Council office is Misha and I.
First of all "Misha and me" but if both of them are still there, there are two persons still in the room.
Oh so many >.<
I'll correct that ASAP, thank you very much! :D
Lilly, sighing "despotically"? That would be more Shizune's thing, wouldn't it?
I can't find the right word for that one to be honest. Sighs...dejectedly? But it feels too weak. Desperately, but it doesn't fit. Despotically sounded a bit aggressive, now that you mention it does sound a bit more into Shizune.
My hand stops its motion immediately, sweat runs down my brow and down the tip of my finger before it traces itself down the pen.
Just how long is he sitting there???
...pretty long...? :lol:
I should use another means of describing the 'tension'. hmm...I'll get a look on that.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Otherwise quite a few inconsistent tenses and some missing or superfluous thirs person "s"s... The latter grow more abundant in the second half of the chapter.
Your previous chapters were a lot better in this regard, so I guess your next chapters will be up to your standards again ;-)
I will do my best on it =w=)7
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1230
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED*

Post by dewelar » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:44 am

Megumeru wrote:
far?
ah, 'far more than what I am capable of'...missed a word. Is that grammatically correct though?
I'd go with "far more than I would be capable of".
Megumeru wrote:
Lilly, sighing "despotically"? That would be more Shizune's thing, wouldn't it?
I can't find the right word for that one to be honest. Sighs...dejectedly? But it feels too weak. Desperately, but it doesn't fit. Despotically sounded a bit aggressive, now that you mention it does sound a bit more into Shizune.
I think the word you were looking for is "despondently".

Just read this chapter and find myself intrigued by the concept. Will go back and read the rest of the story later today.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Chapter X: Sleep Walker

Post by Megumeru » Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:58 pm

The Haunting: A Love Story

Chapters
Prologue: Till’ Death...

ACT I -Black and White-
Chapter I: Funeral
Chapter II: Passing
Chapter III: Haunting
ACT II -Light Colors-
Chapter IV: A Drop of Green
Chapter V: Between You and Me
Chapter VI: What Lies Ahead
Chapter VII: Chained
Chapter VIII: Let me Love You
ACT III -Crimson Dusk-
Chapter IX: Dreamland
Chapter X: Sleep Walker
Chapter XI: Nightmare
Chapter XII: Shadows
Chapter XIII: Recollection
ACT IV -Clear Sky-


Chapter X: Sleep Walker

If someone is to describe how my life is at the moment, knowing full well of what has been going on behind the scenes, they would say that I am living in a ‘dream’. My girlfriend died in an accident and yet there she was talking—pardon, signing—to me, giggling, and teasing as if she was alive. She appeared before me during my sleep in a dream that kept repeating over and over until the day I decided to take matters into my own hand. From then on, the days that followed felt like a dream—a lucid dream which I have partial, if not full control of. I never wanted Shizune to die, nor do I want her family to blame and hated me for it. But there it was, somehow like a miracle the issue resolved itself and disappeared as if it never existed; even winning over Shizune’s father’s approval in the process. At least, that’s what I want to believe. If it was a dream, I wish to have never been awakened from it.

How I wish I could say the same for Misha.

When I heard the news from Miyazaki, none of us knew what to react. Lilly gasped and quickly covers her mouth like a proper lady and sat frozen, unsure how to respond. Miyazaki stared at the two of us while still trying to catch his breath before Hanako came by his side and rushed to Lilly. I froze on the spot, for how long I am uncertain, but the moment everything snaps back into reality, I rushed for the exit as fast as my feet can carry. If my life so far has been that of a ‘lucid dream’, then this must be the ‘nightmare’.

Misha was caught in an accident.

I rushed as quickly as I could for a way out of the campus and down the hill towards the hospital where she has been taken into intensive care. Though brief, Miyazaki explained how one of his club members saw the entire ordeal as it unfolded and quickly informed him of it; he took no time to find the rest of us and pass the news. During the taxi ride, the sirens of police cars were still prevalent as we approach the epicenter which had been cordoned by the police for further investigation and clean-up. With a glimpse, I noticed the blotch of red that painted the road and the tire marks that follow close by; just a sight of it made me cringe and wonder how severe it was. It was by no means a pleasant sight to see or think. We reached the hospital about thirty minutes after we left from campus and waited for hours until we could finally see how she fared. If the gods do exist, we prayed that all is well for her.

“She’s asleep right now, but she’s stable.”

…or so assured the doctors. Before we left, I took the opportunity to catch a glimpse of her in her room, sleeping soundly with castings and bandages strewn all around her. Even after knowing that she’s alright, I still couldn’t shake the feeling of how troubled she has been up to this point of time that led to her accident. Shizune did—at one point—urged me to council her of her condition prior to the accident, yet I never gotten around to it. When we returned to the campus, I quickly told Shizune everything that had occurred and assured her that she’s stable at the moment and is resting in one of the hospital ward. She sighed, relieved, then proceeds to wander around the school grounds and asked me to leave her alone while she ‘collects her thoughts’. I was determined that I will go see her again—Misha—tomorrow if she has regained consciousness.

And so I did.

-------------

The hospital ward she harbors smells…familiar. The moment I open the door, the whiff of sanitation chemicals and medicine surrounds me, empowering my senses and quickly reminds me that ‘yes, this is a hospital’. I can’t help but feel a sense of displeasure to return to this sort of establishment; the thought and the smell that surrounds it also invokes the memories of that day before I ventured into Yamaku High. The days I spent in the hospital, the books I’ve read, and the time I felt I’ve…wasted, it all seems like so long ago and yet, when I think about it, it wasn’t even a year ago. Now I’m back here with a different purpose, looking for that particular ward where she rest and hoping that she’s awake.

A few minutes later, I reach the door where my objective lies. I take a deep breath, reach for the door, and push the handle.

“Ah, Hisao…it’s you. Welcome.”

The pink-haired girl beamed with a smile for a moment. I give my best smile for a reply and take small, careful steps so as to excuse myself into the room. The room is surprisingly spacious—about twice the size of the dormitory—and has a window view of the park as an added bonus. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind staying here for a few days if not for the meals they provide; hospital cuisine isn’t something many look forward to.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine…I think,” she replies before caressing her bandaged-covered wounds. “It still hurts to laugh…wahahah—itte!”

“Hey, hey…take it easy!” I said as I quickly reach for a stool and take my seat. “You’re not staying here for laughs you know.”

She chuckles while pressing on her bandaged waist. “Yeah, I know…wahaha…”

I sit there for a moment in silence, observing her quietly as she takes small deep breaths, adjusting to her pain. Even after the accident, Misha still manage to put up a smile—how forced it was isn’t something I am too keen to figure out right now. Aside from the visit, it is almost customary for us to come bearing small gifts as a ‘get well’ message, and as such—with the limited strength of a high school student’s budget—I bought her an apple. Not much, but it is what’s inside that counts; I believe Shizune would think the same. If Shizune’s alive right now—as in, physically and not just her apparition—what would she bought for her? As a ghost, Shizune is confined to the premises of Yamaku High and is unable to venture further than the gates of the campus; it’s ‘rules’ in the ‘spiritual world’ involving being bonded to a certain location she has high attachment to in the previous life, or so Miyazaki said. Then again, whoever came up with that rule—be it god or some manager of the spirit world—really does have a knack of keeping things in ‘control’. Frankly, it’s stupid; yet there’s nothing I can do to change that, is there?

I should really break the silence. I came here for a visit in the first place, not sit around and ponder, right?

“Would you like an apple?”

She quickly beams up and laughs, “You’re going to peel or slice it for me, Hicchan?”

“You’re going to pay me for the service?” I reply, grinning in the process. “Stay right there, I’ll ask the nurse for a fruit-knife.”

“It’s not like I can go anywhere, Hicchan~!”

About three minutes later I return to the room with the aforementioned fruit-knife at hand. On the bed, Misha is grinning like a child and motions me to quickly entertain her with a scene that she describes to be ‘ripped right out of a romance-comedy manga’; it’s even more impressive how she even quotted what chapter, volume, and the magazine it came from. Frankly, I’m a lot more surprised to know that Misha is quite the avid manga reader. All that time I’ve spent working with her, I barely knew what she really is in person, until now—or at least part of it. Misha is always this bubbly girl with a laughter that can be heard miles away and a bubblegum pink-hair that stands out amongst seas of people.

All this time, she is—more or less—a friend and an acquaintance; nothing more, nothing less.

But enough of that for now; I have a fruit-rabbit to carve.

Carving a bunny from an apple isn’t a difficult task—considering you know how to, of course. When I was just a little brat, my mother would sometime cut the fruits—particularly apples—into little rabbits and stuff them into my bento. I was a kid back then, and although I do found them adorable and pleasing to eat, I never bothered to ask her how she made those bunny-shaped apple slices—partly because I grew older with time. I can’t remember when was the last time the little bunnies were replaced with ordinary fruit slices, but it sure gave me something to remember my childhood by. So where, one might ask, did I managed to learn how to carve one?

“Wow, not bad Hicchan! Didn’t expect you had it in you…”

I smile and lay the first slice on the small plate before moving to the second slice. Gently I cradle the second slice on my index and thumb, using the knife to cut an incision on one end before peeling half way to remove the excess to form the ‘ears’. The little critter I created now rests on my palm, as if waiting to hop away before I rest her on the plate like the rest of her brethren. Like an impatient child, the bandaged short-haired girl grins gleefully before she reaches and devours one of them.

“Lacking patience there, little girl…?”

She stuffs another into her jaw as I place another piece unto the plate. “…uwuzzai!”

“I haven’t had peeled apple in a while,” she said as she reaches for a piece just as I finished another. “It’s been awhile since someone gave me this kind of attention.”

I chuckle, “When was the last time you had something like this?”

“Last time was…”



Misha stops and ponders, bringing about almost a total silence in the room. The footsteps from the nurses outside and the steady, creaking noise of a wheelchair in the hall became twice more audible than what it was. I wait patiently, trying to force a smile to remain and by the gods pray that I did not tripped over a trip-mine despite understanding full well that I may have did just that. Her lips are sealed for a time, silently nibbling on her apple for a second before she sighs.

“It was last Christmas in the dormitory, with Shicchan...”

“Back then,” she continues, “back then I caught a nasty fever and was confined to my quarters for almost two weeks.”

She begins to fidget as she retell her experience, stealing glances at me once in a while as she tries to avoid eye contact for the remainder of the conversation. She describe how it was after the ‘fallout’ that occurred between Lilly and Shizune, back in their second year of high school, before their simple rivalry transformed into open hostility. Just a few days after the fallout, Misha immediately was pressed into action by Shizune to cover the overwhelming tasks that were left by Lilly and her supporters. But despite Shizune taking up the majority of it, her pink-haired assistant failed to keep up with her and quickly succumbed to fatigue—and thus it began, her small detour out of her ordinary life.

“She came to my room that evening, still in her uniform, winter coat, and all while carrying a paper bag in one hand and a folder tucked to her right,” Misha smiles, “I can’t forget that; the slight irritation and concern is hard to miss.”

You usually never know how someone is actually like until you start dating that person. Sometimes, I feel that Shizune is exclusion to that rule—sometimes. Shizune came to her room that day, still wearing her uniform topped with her winter coat. She carries with her gifts—oranges and apples—and immediately tended Misha like a mother. She peeled the apples and oranges and set them accordingly near her nightstand—all the while she kept part of her attention on the folder she brought before her, laid bare on her lap for her to study.

Very typical of the Shizune I know. Caring, but at the same time extremely dedicated to her job it’s almost zealous.

“I miss her, Hisao…I really do…” she slumps her figure and bit her lower lip, trying to contain herself even further. I can sympathize with her…I know that feeling. “I doubt you’d understand.”

“Oh, no, no…I perfectly understand what you—”

“NO, YOU DO NOT!”

Like a tiger, Misha quickly intervened and surprised me with a reaction I never expected to have come from her. She stares at me eye to eye, challenging me of my beliefs and questioning my legitimacy. I quickly consider of resting the fruit knife to tune in, listen, and ask her what I did wrong specifically, but once again Misha intervenes. “It’s not fair…the world is not fair…”

YOU’RE not being fair…”

“Misha...what did I…”

Quickly she turns away and refuses any further eye contact. “It’s not all what it seems, Hisao…”

“Everything…” she continues, “…everything isn’t fair. Why, Hisao? Why does it have to be you?”

Misha sighs and rests both of her hands on her lap. She takes a deep breath and continues, “Can I…ask you about something?”

-------------

Have you ever felt as if you’re living in a dream? When everything around you seems to fall in place just as you hoped it would, and that all your troubles and consequences seem to just vanish into thin-air, forgotten and ignored at the corner of your mind. Frankly speaking, the events that came after Shizune’s unintentional ‘appearance’—as a haunter, mind you—is like a dream, perhaps even a miracle. It came to me like a flush of cold water in a hot day that washes all the agony away in a single wave, and for the first time after ‘that’, I feel…alive. Ironic, considering that such rejuvenation came from someone who has passed away. The days that followed, it’s as if Shizune was never in the accident in the first place—as if someone else took her place and we were just there as eye witnesses. I talk, laugh, joked—hell, we even kissed for heaven’s sake! That’s something that normal couples do, right? It’s like seeing another side of her, one that isn’t bound by the rules and standards society had set for her—a side that I have now fallen in love with, deeper.

Yet why do I feel guilty?

Why? Why, I ask, do I have to feel this sense of…guilt each time I listened to her requests, followed her to the letter, and acted as her guide in a world that ignored her existence. Well, the answer, apparently, isn’t even too far off—in fact, I believe I knew what it is prior to all this.

It feels like a rude awakening, as if someone suddenly jerked you out of your sleep and scream ‘hey! Wake up! It isn’t like that at all!’ before slapping you hard in the face with reality and show you how things are ‘supposed’ to be.

This dream isn’t for me; it’s for Misha.

Then why does Shizune picked me instead? I’ve only knew her for a semester and dated her for about a month, so why am I the only who can see her?



Misha, she…



She deserve this ‘life’ more than I do.

I never knew it before, nor did I noticed it—maybe that’s why Shizune called me ‘dense’ once in a while. Ever since Shizune physically left us and parted for the ethereal realms, Misha was one of those individuals who were hit hard with the news—to a degree, she even blamed me for not stopping Shizune’s careless independence that brought us this catastrophe in the first place. She told how she hated my guts for taking over the Student Council’s ‘President’ position, a spot she believe to be reserved for Shizune—and her alone; at least, to Misha it is. But that wasn’t all that she told me during my visit—not would it be the last.

When things began to shape up in the Student Council, Misha began to notice how oddly ‘Shizuist’ (I didn’t quote that word, she did) I was in completing assignments after assignments that were part of the council’s responsibility. She was initially happy when Lilly and Hanako joined the Student Council—even more when she noticed how I showed some interest to Lilly, which I admittedly can’t deny. To her, the flow of life seemed to have moved on and the memories of our dear ex-president slowly faded away from us—well, at least she hoped it would. When things began to shape up, Misha was amongst the first to notice the oddities that were occurring within the Student Council office. Files that were completed and organized days before deadline were amongst the ‘normal’ ones, but it was the sound of scribbling and the clatters of a chair when the room was empty, signs of abandoned stationery on the president’s table, the ‘snaps’ of fingers during meetings…those are some of the things she noticed. But what caught her attention the most was—surprisingly—the files and its content, those that were completed prematurely before the deadline. Out of them all, those pile of papers confirmed her suspicion and, despite being signed by me, Misha could never have mistaken what she saw and recognized them in the blink of an eye.

Misha recognized Shizune’s handwriting all too familiar.

I was careless—we were careless. Shizune’s handwriting is…beautiful—neat, sharp, and most of all heavy on the strokes. She was accustomed to writing long and fast, using relatively difficult kanjis that were particularly annoying to write which often show where her heavy ‘strokes’ are coming from and yet, despite all that, she maintained a neat, sharp, and professional look to the things she wrote. She was always a no-nonsense type of woman, one who doesn’t dawdle over trivial matters and would aim for the fastest, most efficient, and the best route available for her to reach her goal. They say that you can tell what a person is like just by looking at their handwriting—and Misha clearly knew that it wasn’t mine in the first place.

To our misfortune, it didn’t stop there.

Her suspicion grew even further during the festival—particularly my involvement with the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ and me going ‘buddy-buddy’ with one of its more ‘hardcore’ member, the vice-president Miyazaki. She found it was odd of me—someone who had little to no particular interest on rumors, gossips, or even things that couldn’t be proven by science to have taken a significant interest towards the paranormal. She didn’t mind it at first, but she eventually caught on to it when I asked Miyazaki to delete the tape we setup at our haunted house—a small ‘proof’ of Shizune’s hauntings, one that we promised to be kept between Shizune and I. She was even more suspicious when she saw me carrying Shizune’s father’s—Jigoro’s—katana the night during the dance.

‘It was odd,’ she told me. ‘Shizune’s father never handed down the family heirloom to anyone before—not even Hideaki.’

‘It was as if he asked you to continue the family tradition, as if you’re already a part of them—as if you’re married to Shizune.’

I wasn’t particularly smiling when I heard it from her—if any, it was guilt. Misha was on the verge of crying when she told her side of the story.

‘I didn’t want to believe it at first—I kept on denying it!’ she continued. ‘I’m sorry if I tailed you after you…abandoned Lilly on the dance, but the way how Shizune’s old man looked at you…’

I figured later that she tailed me up to the roof, and there…



There, for the first time ever since Shizune passed away, Misha saw her—Shizune—smiling and dancing with the current Student Council president. She thought it was her mind playing tricks, but when she focused on us just a while longer, she could see the form and the shape of her beloved deceased friend dancing with me. When she leaned in for a kiss and backed away bashfully after, Misha decided to leave the area and have no more of it—she had seen enough.

‘I love her, Hisao,’ she said to me with a teary voice. ‘I love her…but why does it have to be you?’

She continued, ‘I thought that maybe if I die…I might be able to see her again—just like how you can see her, as if she wasn’t gone in the first place.’

I figured then that the accident involving Misha wasn’t an accident at all.

No.

It was a suicide attempt.

‘Is she here with you right now, Hisao? Please tell me, Hisao…please…’

I couldn’t answer and kept silent throughout the end of the visit. Misha eventually cried herself to sleep, and I excused myself from her room after returning the fruit knife I used to the nurses. I thought about catching a bus or a taxi back to Yamaku, but digressed on the idea and decided to take a stroll through town to cool myself and reflect—and so here I am, walking down under the cold drizzle in early winter without an umbrella in hand, lamenting on what I should do next concerning my relationship with Shizune. I may have dodged the bullet storm from Shizune’s family, but this? I never thought that I would be receiving another from a friend…so what now? What should I do?

Questions upon questions continue to pile up and eventually, I end up near the park where Shizune had her accident. Just by a street pole, there is an empty bottle of ramune holding a single handmade sign that reads ‘In loving memory of Shizune Hakamichi, a friend’ with a small picture of us—the Student Council prior to the accident. Just beside it, a bouquet of flower rests idly in the cold rain; I notice that not far from here is also where Misha had her accident.

“Are you her friend, young man?”

I quickly turn to find an old man in a shop clerk uniform with an umbrella. I nod at him, to which he smiles sadly in return. “It’s the first time I see someone else other than that girl with the pink hair.”

“E-excuse me…?”

“You see, the girl with the pink hair comes by here often—that bottle and handmade sign are hers, and the flowers? She’s been setting new ones each week,” the old man nods conclusively. “The girl who passed away must have been a dear friend of her.”

“She…” I pause as if my tongue suddenly went numb. There’s more to it than what I can describe. “She was…more than a friend to us.”

I never knew Misha has been visiting this location almost religiously. The small handcrafted landmark, the flowers…though insignificant to some, it may hold a greater meaning to her than anyone else who passes here each day. It probably serves as a memorial for her, a sign that she will never forget the place where fate decided to steal Shizune from her. Well…I can’t blame her—nor does anyone who knows Misha.

Misha did a lot of things for Shizune for a very long time, cementing their relationship into an inseparable duo. Even until death, Misha’s dedication for her Shizune didn’t waver as it goes through the tests of time.

So why, I ask…

…why me…?

Why did Shizune allowed me to see her instead of Misha?

Why…

-------------

Not far from Shizune’s landmark, just a few steps ahead, is the location where Misha had her accident. The police had left the scene and the city’s cleanup crew had finished its job in restoring the area back to its original condition. There’s nothing good that will come for me if I decide to venture and examine the ‘scene’—at least, not mentally for me. I can’t imagine the thought of her jumping in front of a moving vehicle with the sole purpose of getting herself killed—all of this just so she can see Shizune again. It disturbs me and at the same time, it pains me to think about it any further. So instead, I decide to take a detour through the park before returning to the initial road that will lead me back to Yamaku—of course, that’s what I was planning.

“President…! Fancy meeting you here, it’s been awhile hasn’t it?”

I never thought of encountering Miyazaki here of all places.

“Miyazaki…it’s been awhile indeed. What are you doing here?”

“Glad you ask,” Miyazaki grins and shuffles through his bag. “Come walk with me, I have a few things I want to talk about as well.”

What’s there to lose, right? I could use a company…at least, having someone to talk to right now would clear my mind.



…or so I thought…

If there is anything the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ is infamous for, it is its thorough and detailed research into the occult and the paranormal—things that most high school paranormal clubs are willing to sacrifice a puppy for. The contribution of its members towards their archive is enormous, from local urban legends, to interviews, eye witness account, and up to basic internet research, all of them are quite a marvel to look into—for a high school student. But there’s more to them than what they seemed to most…at least to me, the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ itself is as mysterious as they made out to be. Miyazaki is no exception, being one of the more diehard member and urban legend enthusiast. I’m starting to wonder why I even think it’s ok to take a walk with him at this time.

“I’m investigating the recent accident, you see.”

…plus, considering that he’s currently looking into Misha’s suicide attempt, it just strikes me wrong in more than one note.

“You’re looking into Misha’s…” I pause to look for the right word. “…accident?”

“Yeah,” he nods before he takes his small notepad filled with handwritten notes. “Apparently, it wasn’t an accident at all.”

Well…



Well now…

“Miyazaki, please try to refrain from mentioning this to…”

“—it’s attempted murder.”

A what?

“Umm…excuse me?”

“Like I said,” he continues. “It’s attempted murder.”

He places the butt of his mechanical pencil on his chin as he quickly skim through his notes, letting out a few ‘mhms’ and ‘ahhs’. “A few of us and I think it’s odd for her to have an accident close to where…well, your ‘ghost girlfriend’ died.”

“So we decide to come down and interview a few locals,” he continues. “And apparently, there’s a mention that she was pushed towards oncoming traffic by something that is best described as a ‘dark silhouette’.”

He sighs. “There is a reason why I’m actually revealing this to you, chief; it might concern your safety in the future.”

Miyazaki starts to talk, discuss, and reveal the information he has gathered up to this point concerning the accident. From the silhouette of a young girl who ‘pushes’ Misha unto oncoming traffic up to the description of a vengeful spirit that is in search for its next victim, Miyazaki doesn’t leave any holes uncovered as he expands his theory further and further. I slowly become conscious of it all, fear—irrational as it may be—begins to seep into my skin as he starts to mention how it may relate to Shizune concerning how relatively close the accident occurred. Though it can be considered as the ramble of a madman or a child’s fantasy, there is no denying that ‘ghosts’ and the ‘paranormal’ exists, followed with the potential they have in creating havoc in the lives of the living.

“I’m not saying it’s her fault per-say,” Miyazaki adds as he continues to flip the pages of his small note. “But there’s a chance that it may be her, president.”

“That’s not possible; Shizune is bounded to the school, she can’t traverse beyond the gates of Yamaku.”

“And you’re certain about that?”

I open my mouth for a reply, but no words escape as I stop to think of the possibility. Shizune did mention that she’s ‘trapped’ in Yamaku High…but what if all of it was a lie? What if it was something she came up with to keep my suspicion away from her being something else than what she seems to be…?

“Prez,” Miyazaki starts. His notes are closed and pressed firmly with both of his hands. “We’re talking about a vengeful spirit, a manipulative being that will do anything to get what it wants—be it life or your soul.”

I stop to listen, hands by my side as he turns to face me. “I am not suggesting directly, but there is a possibility that your ‘Shizune’ may be—no, is a vengeful spirit. She may be looking for a company to follow her in the afterlife, and it’s best to start with those who are close to her.”

“In this case,” he points towards the road where Misha had her accident. “It was Misha.”

“It may be just a theory, but please keep this in mind. I should’ve told you back when I figured out this whole ordeal with ‘ghost Shizune’, but it’s better now than too late.”

Miyazaki takes a deep breath and places both his hands on my shoulder; his uncovered eye shoots right to mine, unwavering and sharp like an eagle. He is serious, and when he is it isn’t difficult to tell.

“There’s nothing good that comes from interacting directly with the supernatural, Hisao.”

With his last words, we went our separate ways as he continues to further investigate the area. He waves me goodbye and wishes for my safety as I made my way back up to Yamaku High. As I make my way, my mind is clouded with the thought and the conversation I had with him earlier, particularly concerning ‘vengeful spirits’. Now, I know full-well that anything that comes from the ‘Paranormal Investigation Club’ should be taken with a grain of salt, but concerning the recent events and what I have been experiencing up to this point, the facts doesn’t seem to be too far-fetch. What if Shizune really is a vengeful spirit? What if she really is after our lives? If so, then why does she want to meet with her family then? Is it just something she did to cover up her true intentions? Or is it because—

I stop, cold sweat runs down my cheeks, feet feels like jelly as I nail myself to the asphalt road before the gate of Yamaku. Under the light of the sunset, a dark silhouette—like a shadow—stands in between the gate as if waiting for something—or someone. From a far, I notice it to be the shape of a young girl, about 17 years of age and around 156cm tall, her figure is thin and proportional, but her skin is dark and scabs are present all over. I breathe heavily, fear has slowly overcome my composure, and I close my eyes wishing that it is all but a trick played by my mind.



I open them, and this time the figure that stands between the gates of Yamaku under the sunset has changed.



The one who stands is now none other than Shizune Hakamichi herself.

-END CHAPTER X-

Author's Note
Who said this story is abandoned, hmm?

It's still ongoing, albeit update may be slow amidst all the school, part-time work, and my procrastination.
Last edited by Megumeru on Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:07 am, edited 6 times in total.
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3548
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: Eastasia
Contact:

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by brythain » Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:11 pm

That was creepy even if partly anticipated. Very happy to see the update, very happy indeed. And a substantial look into Misha's nature too, what a bonus!
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
nemz
Posts: 531
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:39 am

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by nemz » Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:26 am

Yay!

Hmm... what if there are actually 2 of her? Could work like Wraith:The Oblivion RPG from back in the day, with a self-destructive 'shadow' personality actively trying to undermine everything keeping her from moving on.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by Megumeru » Thu Aug 07, 2014 10:53 am

nemz wrote:Yay!

Hmm... what if there are actually 2 of her? Could work like Wraith:The Oblivion RPG from back in the day, with a self-destructive 'shadow' personality actively trying to undermine everything keeping her from moving on.
Are there two of her? Or is there only one?

Is it really Shizune who Hisao's been hanging out with, or is it really what Miyazaki said--a vengeful spirit? :wink:
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Aug 07, 2014 1:20 pm

Having recently watched Dusk Maiden of Amnesia, I begin to notice some similarities...

Anyway, this chapter seemed a bit... less refined than the previous ones, and some of the dialogue - especially Misha's - was a bit off...

Still very nice to see this continued. Good Job.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by Megumeru » Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:02 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Having recently watched Dusk Maiden of Amnesia, I begin to notice some similarities...

Anyway, this chapter seemed a bit... less refined than the previous ones, and some of the dialogue - especially Misha's - was a bit off...

Still very nice to see this continued. Good Job.
You're not wrong on that part :D

The theory of the supernatural itself and the existence of the Paranormal Research Club in the story is based on Meibi's 'Dusk Maiden of Amnesia', so those who actually are familiar with it will find a nod here and there (e.g. the 'ghost leader' of the PRC, the theory of 'what you see is what you believe', etc.)

Of course, that doesn't mean I'll downright rip everything from it--I love the story, but I'm particularly keen on the theory and idea presented in it, and that's as far as I'll go.


You might find me tweaking a few...'concepts' or expanding a bit on it, so stay tuned 8)

EDIT:
Aah, I am also trying a few new things in this chapter concerning my own writing style, so things might be a bit...awry here and there
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

User avatar
Mahorfeus
Posts: 680
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:16 pm

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED* 8/7/14

Post by Mahorfeus » Thu Aug 07, 2014 7:29 pm

The recent update must have caught my attention, somehow.

I have spoiled myself. For gods know what reason, I passed on reading this when it first came out, but last night I binged on the last two years' worth of chapters. Despite some rather prevalent writing hiccups and some admittedly :roll:-worthy moments, I have found myself thoroughly impressed. Now I am in the same boat as everyone else, eagerly waiting for the next installment. I suppose that is the price I must pay, for not exercising restraint.

Keep up the good work.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

User avatar
Frankyo
Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:49 am

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story

Post by Frankyo » Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:02 am

Great story. Glad to have read it. I read Itoshi no Kana as someone mentioned, and I watched Angel Beats not too long ago. Your story is getting 2spooky4me :shock: . Will keep reading; really like how you're handling the supernatural genre.

If I were Hisao, I would have taken Lilly's hand in his dream.
Girls: Hanako/Misha > Lilly > Emi > Shizune/Rin
Routes: I realized that every route has its own charms, but felt that Shizune's was lacklustre. It has Misha though!

"No masters or kings, when the ritual begins"

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story

Post by Megumeru » Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:52 am

Frankyo wrote:
If I were Hisao, I would have taken Lilly's hand in his dream.
Careful with what you wish for, you monster :lol:
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Chapter XI: Nightmare

Post by Megumeru » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:53 am

The Haunting: A Love Story

Chapters
Prologue: Till’ Death...

ACT I -Black and White-
Chapter I: Funeral
Chapter II: Passing
Chapter III: Haunting
ACT II -Light Colors-
Chapter IV: A Drop of Green
Chapter V: Between You and Me
Chapter VI: What Lies Ahead
Chapter VII: Chained
Chapter VIII: Let me Love You
ACT III -Crimson Dusk-
Chapter IX: Dreamland
Chapter X: Sleep Walker
Chapter XI: Nightmare
Chapter XII: Shadows
Chapter XIII: Recollection
ACT IV -Clear Sky-


Chapter XI: Nightmare

The ticking of the clock echoes within this small prison of mine as the long arm of time slowly pulls itself to twelve. For a while now, the white ceiling of the roof has been staring back at me unflinchingly, challenging me to a stare and waiting for my inevitable defeat due to weariness. Instead, I turn my head from the pillow and sigh, observing the girl at my desk as she writes an entry in her private diary. The ray of the moon acts as her illumination as her pen scribbles away through the night, its end occasionally meet the tip of her pink lips each time she wonders how—or what—she should write next.

I couldn’t sleep.

It’s been almost an excruciating two and a half hour since I pulled myself into covers and down a few of my pills—a repetitive cycle I have grown accustomed to—and yet here I am, cursing at myself for my inability to bring myself to rest, lying on this bed with a bean-bag pillow on my head while watching the ghost of a girl stressing over her recent entry. Sometimes she twirls her pencil, another time she’ll rest them on her chin, and then probably bites them with frustration—it is akin to watching a junior school student cramming for her math exam.

Don’t tell her I said that.

But after a while, one way or another she’ll drop her pen on her material and let her thoughts flow like water. Shizune would write as if it’s her last, her thoughts transformed into words and are seemingly absorbed into the little notebook she keeps for herself as they are laid out like a foundation towards her next creation. I love her look when this happen; the motivation that shields her from anything foreign, the look in her eyes as she burns through the empty squares and fill them with characters, the speed and efficiency of her hand, the sharpness of her handwriting… everything. Yet none of this feeling of admiration explains anything to what I am feeling about her right now.

I fear Shizune.

Not because she’d stomp down on me, since that translates to how we always trade our banters; and I dare say I can be her equal—or even better—if I give it my all. I fear her because I can’t see nor understand her purpose of appearing to me any longer. I can argue as hard as I want that she decides to return as a ghost because she loves me, but is that all? If so, is she planning on staying with me until my own life ticks away? Then, there’s the argument given by Miyazaki that she is not what she seems and that she—Shizune—is actually a vengeful spirit, given from what he and his group has gathered. Up until now, I can’t even decide for myself which side I should believe nor whether or not I should .

After a while, Shizune rests her pen on the side and huffs with satisfaction and pride. She rereads her entry once more, possibly checking to see any errors—a perfectionist with a relatively high standard, as expected from her—before finally stashing them in one of my drawers on my desk. She stops to gaze at the moon for a moment with a dreamy yet philosophical look, taking off her glasses once to wipe the stains with her uniform before she turns into the room, displaying her full-presence under the moonlight. It’s as beautiful as I remembered. I quickly wave to catch her attention and she finally realizes that I have been awake for a while.

She smile almost mockingly and quickly raises both her hands to communicate.

[Enjoying the view, I see.]

[It is quite a beautiful night,] I hastily reply in sign language; admittedly, something far more attractive has stolen my attention. [Don’t you think so?]

[You don’t find anything else attractive?]

Shizune smiles teasingly, crossing her legs as if intentionally tempting me to peek under her skirt. Cheeky girl…

[Maybe I do.]

She giggles mutely, pressing her hand on her lips and sighs. Her eyes gazes upon me with an apologetic look, as if knowing what it is that has been keeping me awake—I wouldn’t be shocked either if she already has it figured it out; she’s quite sharp, though not vocal about it. [Is it because of what we discussed earlier?]

I reluctantly sigh, nodding in defeat as she scoots a little closer with the chair. I have to admit, Shizune is still as sharp as she’ll ever be.

When I returned from the hospital, Shizune was standing by the gloomy gate of Yamaku High, soaked by the rain despite carrying an umbrella—folded and tucked clutched on her hand. It was an odd sight indeed, but it was done so with a reason so as not to incite panic and unnecessary attention—after all, a floating umbrella in the middle of nowhere is bound to call in the attention of teachers and students. She was worried, and as someone who couldn’t stand still for a minute without fidgeting or get something done, she decided to wait for me—with or without an umbrella. To her, my return was a welcoming sight that she anticipated dearly; to me, it was horror in an entirely different level.

Shizune went to lengths to wait for me, refusing to open her umbrella not because it was her own personal ‘challenge’, but it was also because she knew that doing so would cause uproar of unprecedented proportion. Yet I’m torn between swallowing it all for granted or grow a skeptic and question her entire motive. Shizune is no longer alive, and the ‘ghost’ whom I’ve spent time with may not be the same person I knew and dearly loved. I felt confused and ashamed; not because of her and her own little ‘challenge’, but at myself and how I couldn’t accept her actions as her own any longer. What am I supposed to do?

But nonetheless, I explained some of the situation—about Misha, her accident, and how she fared. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her how it was all an attempted suicide—I wouldn’t . I couldn’t bear the thought of burdening her further than what she already has to carry. Nonetheless, she only responded with a nod and proceeded to follow me, as if accepting everything ‘as is’ without further thought. Yet I knew just by a glance that she demanded more—either she figured that I was hiding something, or possibly she had a hand in it entirely. Gods…I don’t know anymore.

[I know it worries you, Hisao, I am too,] she signs after adjusting her seat. She is now at the fringes of my bed, seated comfortably on her little wheeled throne. [But there’s nothing we can do about it except wait until she return to campus.]

I nod in response, bestowing a worried smile from her. [You should get some sleep too. You have a long day tomorrow.]

[You want to sing me a lullaby?] I respond jokingly. She raises an eyebrow and chuckle mutely in amusement before she pulls a light ‘hit’ on my forehead.

[You know I can’t,] she quickly replies, while a sarcastic smile slowly creeps up on her lips. I slowly fear the worst. [But I’ll do what I can.]

She positions herself and her seat at the edge of the bed, snuggling in just enough to leave a small space between her and the night table where my medicine and alarm clock are. Suddenly, she raises her hand and positions it above me as if ready to strike down—a mischievously playful grin gleefully decorates her feature that causes my mental alarm to echo uncontrollably. I flinch, chuckling at the direction where this is going and frankly, I don’t hate this at all.



In a surprising turn of events, I feel her thin, slender fingers slowly run down and caress my hair in a steady pattern.

It’s a strange, comforting feeling…one that I’ve missed for a long time. I personally can’t remember when the last time I experience this fleeting sensation was. Its years back, way before I was diagnosed with arrhythmia, and far before I learned that Santa Claus was my old man dressed in a red suit stuffed pillows. It’s comforting—almost motherly, in fact, and I couldn’t help myself but to indulge in the warmth as my body slowly starts to relax and my thoughts begins to disperse. I take a quick look at Shizune and smile, to which she quickly return with a ‘what’ or a ‘don’t expect this from me often’-look, paired with a perfectly rose-tinted cheek. I smile and nod to give her my thanks as I slowly fall into slumber under her loving caresses.

In that moment, I believe that there is no way that she’s a ‘vengeful spirit’.



Yeah…there is no possible way.

-------------

The warm ray of the sun…

The trees that dance with the wind left and right…

The crying cicadas in the midst of the summer heat…

The fragrance of flowers and grass…

All these are so… comforting, nostalgic and yet so… terrifying. I remember these vivid scenes; one that plays like a broken tape recorder in my head, keeping me awake for nights to no end. It’s a strange, familiar sensation… one that I feel like I’ve tread upon countless times as I journeyed through those dark waters—those days! How could I ever forget about them? Quickly I scan the horizon before me—capture the atmosphere—and get a sense of…

Yes, there’s no mistaking it…

This is ‘that time’.

It’s the day where Shizune had that accident; the event that started it all.

My body rotate in a 360 degrees motion, eyes firmly locked in the distance as I search for the signs that may confirm my suspicion. I may not visit the area as often as I’d like, but after seeing this ‘scene’ so many times, a strange sense of familiarity flares up like fireworks inside me. I know this place, this layout; this ground... feels like treading on my old neighborhood before I joined Yamaku. Up to the west is the inclined road that will lead up to the higher part of the area and towards Yamaku High itself, while the opposite end leads down to the intersection where a bus stop is located. Just by the south-east, a flower shop and a fruit shop, side by side. To the north, there’s a convenience store where she bought that ice candy—she’s particularly fond of that blue, soda flavored one. That leaves the south…

I quickly turn around, and sure enough Shizune stands in her summer dress, an ice candy stuck in her mouth, and the sunset still in her grasp; she’s moving on her own, as if communicating to someone who’s supposed to be there beside her at the time—I reckon that is where we had our last conversation. I feel a cold chill as that wind—death—blows across my face and throws her sunhat into the blue sky. To the south-east, the truck that is supposed to crash her is within sight and—oh no.

The sunhat…

I have to hurry.

I spring into motion, planting my feet on the ground, and propel myself forward towards her before it’s too late. I feel a ‘crunch’ at the bottom of my feet at the first step—a cicada. Its wings are crippled, legs are scattered, and its juices paints the pavement as it twitches before it lies motionless. A slight sense of remorse engulfs me for a brief second, but I quickly shrug it off and resume my course. I’m sorry mr. cicada, I promise I’ll tend to you later. Once again I leap forward, pacing myself faster and faster as I try to close in the distance to her. I feel my heart beat faster and faster as the wind enters my lungs in force, pushing me forward like a machine; it’ll be such a disappointment if my heart fails me here. I feel the gap between us closes at each pace as I steel myself to reach for her, to change the original outcome and save her—prevent the tragedy that is about to come. I keep my eyes trained on Shizune as she follows the events religiously before her accident; the ice candy in her mouth is quickly consumed and in one quick motion, the stick is tossed into a nearby bin. She looks up towards the sky, following the trail of the sun hat and not minding what’s ahead of her as she draws closer towards her objective, like a game. The oncoming truck closes in and comes within range of the park; my time is running out. If I could just reach her I could—

“There’s nothing good that comes from interacting directly with the supernatural, Hisao.”

The voice that comes from behind me quickly causes me to freeze over. In the spot where I was supposed to be standing on that day, someone else has replaced me.

Miyazaki.

“I’m warning you, prez. You’re playing with ‘something’ that we—humans—can’t understand.”

I don’t need this…

“Shut up,” I growl, turning to face him momentarily. I don’t have time for this. “Don’t you see? She’s alive! And If I can prevent it all from happening—if I can save her, I will!”

“She’s already gone, Hisao,” he sighs in disappointment and turns his back on me. I can feel the blood in my vein boils with anger.“ If you want to remain in denial, suit yourself. I’ll warn you though; there’s nothing good that comes from playing with the dead.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he adds before he chuckles sinisterly, dissipating into the crowd…creepy.

Shit, what am I doing? I can’t stop now!

I quickly refocus and reinforce my attention towards my goal as the clock draws closer and closer towards the ‘zero hour’. I sprint and push myself harder, disregarding the warnings that the nurse gave to me concerning my condition about overexertion. For all I care, personal consequences may come later; her life is at stake, and I’m not going to sit around and watch it all unfold before my eyes again. I have to reach her, I have to!

She’s close—I can reach for her!

I draw my arm, stretching it as far as I can to reach for her and—



And I caught her.

I caught her by her left hand, just at the last minute. By god, I don’t believe this but…

I, Hisao Nakai, have saved her.

I have changed the outcome of this cursed reality.

The truck zooms before us, passing through the road where she’s supposed to be as the sunhat flutters further and further. I clench my grip on her tightly, suggesting to her not to advance any further as she lightly struggles to move forward, still focused on the fluttering sunhat that slowly glides its way past the street. The sunhat is my last priority and the least of my worries. I have accomplished my objective. Still, I’m surprised she’s still determined to get away from me to chase that wretched hat that delivered her to the hands of death like a present.

“It’s over, Shizune, just let it go,” I said in relief, knowing full well she can’t hear me. I reach for her shoulder to call for her attention and snap her away from this weird obsession.

’MIIIIIIN MIIIIIINMIIIIIIN MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN’



’MIIIIIIN MIIIIIINMIIIIIIN MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN’

The cry of a cicada echoes close by—far too close than normal. I look down at my feet…

…and there it is.

It’s a cicada…but not just any cicada; the cicada.

The cicada I accidentally crushed before.

Its wings are crippled, legs are missing, and its body is nothing but a shell of its former glory as it drags itself all the way, its juices trails across the ground. It flaps its crippled wings as it tries to fly, crawling in pain as if begging to die while still screaming its most recognizable sound; ‘Miiiinmiiiiinmiiiiiiiin’. As odd as it is, I feel certain remorse and regret as the cicada continues to squirm before, suddenly, the thing flares its crippled wing and flies as its juices drips from its broken shell, all the while repeating its call over and over before it collides itself with another cicada.



And consumes it…

Just as it does, the sky suddenly turns blood red as shadows begins to creep up, enveloping everything in darkness. I pause, quickly noticing the sudden change of scenery; Shizune, too, seems to have stopped her resistance. Then, her hand twitches slightly and erratically, as if calling for my attention.

I turn to her…

…and froze…

My curiosity meets the glare of a pair of blank, deathly eyes that seems to tore right through my lungs; the eyes of a corpse. It grins from ear to ear and wheezes a mute wheeze—like laughter, but not exactly it. Her eyes widen and start to shed tears of blood as I watch in horror before it melts, leaving nothing but a gaping hole…

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Immediately I turn around behind me to find Miyazaki, a devilish grin on his face as his eye patch snaps and flutters to the ground, revealing the same empty husk where his left eye is supposed to be. He laughs like a maniac, his eye widens with glee and a smile of a madman crawls to his lips before the crowd devours his presence whole. Fear and terror creeps up on me like spiders crawling on my legs when I turn to Shizune once again to be greeted with the empty husks of what her eyes are supposed to be staring back at me, observing my every move. I realize what’s going; I have to get as far from her as possible, and immediately I release my grip to escape, only to find that I haven’t been holding her hand all this time…

It has been hers clenching on mine .

I panic, trapped with a living nightmare that slowly is turning to face me in an erratic, twitchy motion. I hear the crack of her bones and the slouching sound of moist, sticky, flesh as she shifts to face me; her neck and head twitches erratically and violently before it ‘cracks’ to the side with her hand still in between her glasses and her face. Her skin grows pale with scabs and wounds forming and seeping with blood. The part of her face where her hand is slowly melts and tears away, revealing a deep wound that drips crimson redbefore the arm limps to her side and her glasses falls and shatters on the ground. Her blood-curling figure now faces before me in its entirety.It twitches erratically, its eyes are hollow and blood continually drips from them, her head is bent to her shoulder, skin full of wounds and bones that pierces out from her flesh, a face with a wound I can’t even describe, and a Cheshire grin that stretches from ear to ear. Her lips tremble and open, and a voice that is ‘raspy’ and ‘mute’ calls my name...

“Hiii… saa… ooo…….”

I try to scream, to call for help but to no avail as she pulls and lunges at me with her empty eyes fixed at its victim and her mouth wide open, as if to scream. A sharp pain encroaches on my throat as she pins me to the ground, her other arm flails itself in force over and over at me as she rips through it and chews through the vocal chords before digging her fingers deep. I can taste my own blood, forcefully ejaculated as she continuously digs through my esophagus; her corpse-like figure is now stained with blotches of red. I begin to choke and cough as she continuously twirls her finger inside me; her wry smile grows wider with joy at each twist that causes my blood to splatter her even further.

Then, her empty eyes shifts to mine as I slowly grow weak and cold. Her mouth opens as if to speak…

“Hiii… saaa… ooo……”

I grow weaker and my eyes become heavy. She inches closer…

“About… me….”

Her face is within 10 centimeters from mine. I can feel her blood dripping on me before it trailsdown like water on my cheek…

“Can… you… tell… me....... what…. you…. think….?”

She flails backwards, limp like a doll without its marionette while maintaining her focus on me. Her mouth went agape before she let out an eerie, ‘mute’ scream…

“…!”

I gasp for air, a sudden pain encroach on my chest as I struggle to breath. In reflex, my hand moves to my chest and clutches it tightly as I curl inward. Slowly, I start to feel the pain dissipate as I keep my best to remain calm and focused, taking small short breaths of air. Immediately I realize that I have returned to my room in Yamaku High’s boy’s dormitory, surrounded by its mundane walls of white. It is all just a dream; a nightmare. I reach for the medicines that are placed on the small table beside me and down a few prescriptions as necessary before I slowly rest my head back on the pillow; my alarm points that it’s five minutes to three. The chair beside me is empty and I sigh in relief.

Then, an almost audible ‘mute’ wheeze echoes beyond the door to my room. The door slowly creaks and opens slightly…

This isn’t a dream…

Beyond, a shadowy figure stands to observe me with a Cheshire grin that stretches from ear to ear and what seems to be a broken neck. It twitches slightly, and the door slowly creaks to a close.



…and I…

…I am left alone, in fear.

-------------

“No, we do not provide such service,” emphasize Miyazaki, crossing his arms and leaning on the door so as not to allow me into the clubroom. “We are the ‘Paranormal Research Club’, not the ‘Paranormal Exorcism Club’!”

Never before have I welcomed the break of dawn as much as now. The moment the long arm of the clock strikes at 12, just before the chime of the morning trumpets echo across the room, I quickly shut the machine and dress as fast as I can. My eyes are heavy, weary, and tired—sleeping became a chore after the nightmare I ventured into, either intentionally or not. The same dream, the same nightmare that I believed to have vanished with the flow of time returned with grandeur—this time, it wasn’t Shizune’s life that it sought for.

It was mine.

I died in that dream. Killed—murdered—by the very hands of the person whom I loved. If the nightmare before it brought Shizune back, then what are the chances that the same… ‘thing’ that killed me would be out here too? What if that… ‘Thing’ is Shizune all along? If it is, then Miyazaki is right—hell, I hate to admit it but his claims may be legit. My life is on the line and the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ is my best chance of survival—at least, I hope so. Thus without further thought, I rushed through the morning routine—showers, brush, everything –and embrace the cold.

Every club that exists in Yamaku High has to go through the permission of the Student Council and its board of executives to be approved. Of course, it is difficult to determine how legit a club is when there’s only two known members of the Student Council; one of which passed away almost half a year ago, making it the lowest in Yamaku High’s history. After its ‘revival’, the new Student Council inherited the information card of the clubs that operates within the premise of the campus—one of which is the infamous ‘Paranormal Research Club’. With the information, it isn’t relatively difficult for me to catch them right in morning during their first activity, before the first chime of homeroom summons us to our respective lairs.

After taking a few corners in the main building, I finally reach the room where the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ is supposed to operate. Hastily I straighten my shirt and the blazer I occasionally wear, keeping my looks sharp as I ready myself to knock on the door before me.



This is stupid, isn’t it? Getting freaked out by a dream like this…

But do I have any choice in this matter? Do I even have the balls to take the risk and ignore this without endangering myself any further?

I don’t think so.

I raise my hand, prepared, and just before I strike…

“Ima nanjika oshiete,
yume to itte, dakishimete—”


I hear a song—a singing voice, to be exact.

“Tonari ni anata wa iru,
Tabun chigau, yume o mitte,”


Probably one of the worst singing voice I’ve heard since Kenji’s drunken ramble; he’s singing about nightmare too… what timing.

With a quick knock, I immediately open the door and find the tone-deaf individual who—in surprise—quickly shuts his notebook, shuts up, and looks at me with one of his eye in what can be described to be that of ‘embarrassment and disgust’.

“You do know you’re out of tune, don’t you?”

He chucks his note to the sofa, stuffing his hands in his pocket and hassles to the door. “Shut up. I sing when I want to.”

“Does anybody ever tell you about that?”

He pauses, “No one…in particular.”

“That’s a lie, Ryou-kun! I remember I told you that before!”

Akin to that of a wisp, a voice suddenly resounds from within the classroom that is feminine in nature—almost ‘royal’ considering the tone and formality it brought upon. I take a quick peek and notice a figure with a long, silky hair that is seated at the far end of the room with a book at hand. Her eyes are mostly covered with her bangs. She smiles silently, closing her book and waves at me from her position before Miyazaki clears his throat and leans on the door, crossing his arms.

“So,” he starts. “What are you here for this morning?”

“From your club’s collection of spiritual paraphernalia…”

I take a deep breath and sigh, “Do you have any that can ward off evil spirits or the likes?”

And that is how I end up in my current situation. As against it as he is, the girl from within—who apparently is Yuuko, the president of the ‘Paranormal Research Club’—eventually convinces Miyazaki to invite me inside. Reluctantly, he gestures me towards the sofa and quickly provides me with tea and green tea-flavored biscuit before he himself takes his seat—notes in hand. Yuuko herself, however, remains in her position and resumes her reading.

“I take it you’re seeing that apparition from the photo I showed you before the festival?”

I nod.

“And I’m guessing,” he prepares his pen and flips through the pages of his notes. “It’s Shizune Hakamichi, the late-Student Council president?”



What should I say? Well, there’s no denying it now, is there?

Once again, I nod in confirmation. Miyazaki sighs depressively and closes his notebook… I fear the worst.

“Why does someone else always get to enjoy living my dream of being chased by a cute ‘female ghost’?”



...WHAT KIND OF REACTION IS THAT??

“Are you not happy with me?” calls Yuuko who—obviously—has been tuning in. Her tone is quite high and… hostile for a minute there.

In his short-but-quick act of redemption, Miyazaki turns to her superior and immediately apologizes in haste, akin to a cheating lover and a yandere girlfriend.

…don’t ask where I got that idea.

“Not to stand between your quarrel, but if I may,” I interrupt, quickly returning the attention of Miyazaki back to mine and Yuuko to her book. “What is the difference between a ‘wandering spirit’ and a ‘vengeful spirit’?”

“Well, that’s elementary my dear president,” Miyazaki remarks with glee.

“You called?” Yuuko answers almost immediately. I give a little chuckle.

“Err—I mean the Student Council president, chief.”

Miyazaki, I know it is for your own convenience, but one day you need to find a new nickname to differentiate one of us.

Anyway…

I remember before how Miyazaki first described the differences between them when we had the discussion at the park. Before the entire ordeal with Misha, he described how Shizune may be a ‘wandering spirit’—the infamous ‘Dusk Maiden of class 3-3’. His little theory is proven when we had the haunted house and so far, between the Paranormal Research Club and the Student Council, only he and I knew the truth about Shizune—and Miyazaki himself is just grazing some of it. Up until now, I am still uncertain where exactly Shizune stands between the ‘yin’ and the ‘yang’. The recent event that occurred with Misha, Miyazaki’s investigation, as well as the dream—all of the event that occurred just recently may have ties with Shizune and may determine which category she falls into: a wandering spirit or a vengeful spirit.

And by the gods, I hope it isn’t the vengeful spirit. I hate being right all the time…

As he flips his notes, I brace myself for whatever it is to come—and what I may have to face in the future, whether I like it or not.

“Let’s start with wandering spirits, shall we?”

Wandering spirits, as the Paranormal Research Society described, are basically ‘intelligent’haunter that haunts a specific place either due to its strong connection or a curse that forces the apparition to roam the particular area. One of the strongest points of roaming spirits is how they are often anchored to a particular area—again, either by curse or strong connection to it. This location itself doesn’t limit to size or a building. For example, the roaming spirit of ‘Hachikuji’—an elementary school girl rumored to have died in a traffic accident—would roam the streets eternally until she locates the address of her mother’s home, the destination she was supposed to go to when she was alive. They are mostly harmless, as—in regards to ‘Hachikuji’—they would only approach a living soul to help them fulfill their final wish and help them rest eternally.

Vengeful spirits, however, aren’t restricted to those set of ‘rules’.

Vengeful spirits or ‘Malicious spirits’ are the remnants of a human who—due to unfortunate circumstances that allotted them towards a huge amount of hatred or dissatisfaction towards their life—has desired to remain in the world as a permanent haunter. They can come from anything—even simple urban legends or wandering spirits are applicable in this category as long as they have the desire to remain. It is unclear what exactly qualifies as a vengeful sprit, but one thing is certain: they are there to take the life of another living person, either due to vengeance or to find company. What bothers the most is how they are not restricted to a single location and are known to have roam far and wide; in short, they choose their haunting location and will remain for a set-time before they move on to a different hot spot. By that time, a lot of things may have happened—accidents, abnormalities, murders, unexplained disappearances, all of those. ‘Kuchisake-Onna’, for example, appears in numerous locations and cities all across Japan, as well as the ‘Teke-Teke’—both of these vengeful spirits has the sole purpose of taking the life of the living.

“And that,” Miyazaki concludes. “Is the difference between a ‘wandering’ and a ‘vengeful’. Of course there are more classifications to other types of hauntings such as poltergeists, doppelgangers, and what-not, but I best stop here so as not to take more of your time.”

He adds, “And besides, you’re not interested in anything else about the paranormal if it doesn’t pertain to your case.”

Miyazaki chuckles in delight as he concludes his analysis, confident about his extensive knowledge base. I’d love to wipe that smug look off of his, but now is not the time…there’s one more thing I need to make sure before I proceed any further.

“Another thing I’m wondering, if I may…” I start, clearing my throat so as to grab his attention. “May I see what’s… under that eye patch?”

With a puzzled look that seems to quiz even the simplest question, Miyazaki looks at me as if I’m some sort of alien life form from another planet. He shrugs in bewilderment and nonchalantly takes off his eye patch and reveals…



And it reveals another eye, though unlike the one on his right, the eye seems…

“Artificial, I know,” Miyazaki interrupts before he lowers his eye patch back to its original position. “I had my left eye removed because of a disease, but I don’t like to keep it ‘empty’, you see?”

He chuckles, a slight discomfort permeates from it. “So instead, I ask the doctor to stuff an artificial eye in there. It’s not functioning, but with this at least I feel complete. Now, why are you asking me about this again?”

I quickly dismiss Miyazaki and apologize for my rudeness, to which he shrugs it with a ‘whatever’. But with this, it reassures me the Miyazaki in my dream is not the same as the one I am having a conversation with.

But then, where does Shizune stand?

The line where Shizune truly belong to is now becoming more and more apparent. I have to make sure... for the good of us.

…yeah

It’s for the best.

“Then, where would the ‘Dusk Maiden’ stand?”

I start to explain the dream I had last night, what possibility or connection it has, and whether or not it is related. The vice-president scratches his chin, quickly revises his notes, and then sighs almost regrettably…

“I’m afraid with the recent events that occurred—either it’s coincidental or not—then I have to proclaim that she…”

I brace myself. I don’t want to know… I can’t face this…

“She is a vengeful spirit—a ‘dream manipulator’-type, if I am to give it a name.”

Gods… I hate being right all the time.

As Miyazaki rambles on about how he comes to his conclusion, I have shut myself from the world around me. It can’t be… I don’t want it to be this way… but why? Why does she—who has always been isolated from life around her—have to end up like this, as a vengeful spirit? Is it because she’s lonely? Because she’s always in constant disconnect from the things that go around her? Is it because of that very reason did she roam around Yamaku, looking for her ‘friends’ to kill and accompany her…?

“…”

What have I gotten myself into…?

“…ent…”

Now I have to pay for this, do I…?

“MR. PRESIDENT!”

Snap! With a loud bang on the table, his loud intimidating voice, and his eye just 30 centimeters away from me, I’m back to reality with a fuzzy mind as Miyazaki relaxes and leans back on the sofa. He scratches his hair and sighs painfully.

“Look, I’m sorry we don’t have something like an amulet, a proton pack, or something along the line to help you. But if you’re really worried about all this…”

He pauses and takes a sip from a glass of water. “Do you know that the blind have a greater affinity towards the paranormal?”

Miyazaki rests his notebook on the table, leaning back on the sofa before continuing. “You see, because the blind can’t see, they have a greater sense of what’s around them—be it hearing, sensation of touch, smell, etcetera. The unexplainable or the paranormal is one of them.”

“What I’m suggesting is,” he continues. “Your secretary, Lilly, may have better ‘concept’—so to say—of what the ‘dusk maiden’ really is. But then again…”

He huffs, followed with a pregnant pause as he finds the right words to convey. “Anything considering the supernatural is best taken with a grain of salt. There’s still so much we don’t know—not even the so-called ‘professionals’ have a clear idea what they are.”

“But hey,” with a confident smile and a relaxed seating posture, Miyazaki concludes our conversation as Yuuko makes her way and sits beside him. “That’s still a mystery waiting to be uncovered.”

After the conversation, I quickly excuse myself as the chime of the homeroom bell is about to announce the start of a new day. I take a quick, polite bow and is about to close the door of the club room when—to my surprise—Yuuko herself stops me. I glance at Miyazaki who just raise his hands and shakes his head with a surrendering smile, saying ‘yare-yare’ in between his breath. Yuuko herself seems to be persistent in telling this herself, so apparently he obliges. With her bangs covering her eyes, the ‘ghost president’ of the ‘Paranormal Research Club’ is as mysterious as the club itself. She gives a heartwarming smile before revealing me a story—an urban legend—of another school.

“Before you leave, did you know there’s a ghost story circulating in another school concerning a relationship between a ghost and a human boy?”

I shake my head, skeptical of what good it is that will bring to me. With a smile, Yuuko starts explaining how it goes.

“Apparently in another school, a boy fell in love with a female ghost that haunts his campus. To his luck, the ghost returned his feelings and both of them promised each other that they will be together forever.”

She continues, “In the end, the boy—along with the ghost—disappears from the school together and has never been heard from since.”

“Doesn’t that mean that the boy is… spirited away by the ghost?” I reply.

She shrugs, “Maybe so, but when you think about it…”

Yuuko gives a reassuring smile.

“It does have a ‘happy ending’ ring to it, don’t you think?”

-------------

The chime of homeroom echoes across the campus, signaling the start of the period as students rush in towards their respective classes. I hurry myself into class 3-3, taking a short bow and do the usual greetings to the students—part of me is expecting to find the loud outburst of my pink-haired comrade and her usual bubbly attitude to be the center of class attention, as usual.

But not today, however…

The air ensnares the class is that of a deafening silence, broken only by the quiet and faint whisper of the members of class 3-3. Quietly I shift my way to the seat and put down my book bag beside my desk, turning to Hanako at the other end of the room to ask what is permeating only to find her shaking her head in denial, telling me to just…accept it, as is. It’s an uncomfortable silence, one that I can’t sit through for even a minute as the whispers around me grows louder and louder.

“Did you hear about the vice-president?”

“You mean Mikado?”

“Apparently, she was caught in an accident near where Hakamichi passed away!”

Ah, they’re talking about Misha. Rumors do spread fast here…

“I heard it wasn’t an accident; it was the ghost of Hakamichi trying to spirit her away!”

“Really? Uwaaah…that’s creepy…”

“I don’t think so…could it be attempted suicide?”

Rumors…but even so, it’s shocking how fast it reaches here and poke its head as if it has a life of its own. Throughout the morning and up to lunch period, the one thing that circulates within the class is the talk concerning Misha’s condition, the accident that led up to it, and how it may or may not be the fault of Shizune’s vengeful spirit. I, for one, have nothing to say in the matter and remain silent throughout, as the conversation between peers—from whispers to notes—drags on and on. It is to my surprise that Shizune herself isn’t in the vicinity of the classroom, wandering around somewhere, probably preoccupied with whatever it is she has in her mind. It’s strangely…reassuring.

Then, the bell that marks the end of the day echoes, and as usual I march myself into the Student Council office.

The office is—as one might describe—a ghost town, with only Lilly and Hanako present. Already they are seated on their respective seats and have their notes out, chatting quietly about life, food, and other random shenanigans. Quietly, I made my way and sit at the end of the table where the President is supposed to be. With Misha still hospitalized, only three executive members of the Student Council shows up.

Three people…only three people show up today.

It’s depressing how this Student Council is shifting itself into the one that was under Shizune; difference is, I was one of the last ‘original’ member of the trio. I can somehow understand Shizune’s feeling when the members of her Student Council left one by one, leaving only Misha and herself to tackle the entire problem; the stress of juggling their own personal lives—or what’s left of it—combined with academic and the matters of the council, I can see how this isn’t an easy task to handle. But time won’t stop for us, the show must go on! And thus without further delay, I open my notes and start the regular Student Council meeting.

The meeting itself lasted only for thirty minutes, covering what we can and what we should do with Misha out of the equation for a while. The matters of the Student Council—either externally or internally—were already previously organized by Shizune herself, making my job three times easier and thus allowing us to quickly distribute our work evenly. With the meeting adjourned, Hanako politely excuses herself from the room as she has matters to attend to—apparently, she made a few friends in the newspaper club and is interested in their current project. Thus, it leaves Lilly and I alone in the Student Council office. What a strange twist of fate…or luck.

A pregnant silence followed with a rhythmic tapping of a cane.

“Hisao…can we speak?”

Just like the day before, Lilly approach me with the same intention she has previously—at least, I assume it is. Miyazaki did suggest me to consul my assistant—Lilly—concerning Shizune and what she is exactly, hoping to provide me with a ‘closure’ on my conflicting stance on the matter. I hope he’s right…

I lay down my notes and tune all my attention to Lilly. “Is this about…Shizune?”

“Yes…” she replies, nodding slightly. “I-I’m afraid for your safety, Hisao.”

“My safety…?”

“Yes…”

She stammers a little, her palm is sweating from nervousness as she starts to speak. “I know I may not be in the position to speak about this, but…”

She stops, shifting her figure left to right in uncertainty. “Oh, this is odd…I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this…”

“Go on….” I urge her, keeping myself in full-attention to what she’s about to say. “I believe you.”

Lilly returns a reassuring smile and sighs. “Thank you.”

“If I may,” she continues. “Is it…strange to you if I say that, until this day, I keep on sensing Shizune’s presence?”

She sighs worryingly, her blank eyes almost always constantly shifting through her surrounding as if to locate any other presence in the room. “What is most worrying is how it seems to always be around you or, in certain cases, here, in the Student Council office.”

“Hisao,” she continues, almost begging. “Please…if you do know something about this…do tell me. Is this…true?”

“Yes,” I reply. “For some time now, I have been spending my time with Shizune—or, well, her wandering spirit at least.”

Immediately Lilly gasps, horrified at my statements. “Hisao, you don’t know what you’re dealing with!”

“It’s…Shizune, right?”

“It is, but…” she continues. I can sense fear and panic engulfing her. “She isn’t what you think she is anymore…”

At this point, cold sweat starts to run down my forehead as I allow her to continue further.

“Can you sense it…? The…‘thing’…you have been interacting with?”

“The…‘thing’…?”

She nods, taking a few steps closer to me. “I can sense her but…it’s not the Shizune I know...”

“This…‘Shizune’ is…just the thought of it…”

The door creaks slowly, yet I have no time to turn and check.

“It’s sending chills down my spine! It is enveloped with a chilling, haunting, deathly sensation…vile… ”

Lilly stumbles backward in fear and falls on the floor. The echo of her cane as it drops on the wooden floor echoes across the room. I pause to listen.

*CREAK*

*CREAK*

We are not alone…

“I-it’s here…its close!”

“Hisao…!” she pleads, crawling away from me desperately. “Get me out of here…!”

I feel a sudden chill running on my spine, as if death slowly creeps on my shoulder as Lilly continues to drag herself desperately towards the wall with tears running on her eyes. Immediately I can sense the very thing she has been describing—the chilling, haunting, and deathly sensation that creeps up in the middle of night, waiting for the right moment to spirit you away. My entire body freezes in fear, cold sweat runs on my palm. The very ‘thing’ is standing right behind me…

Don’t look…

Don’t look…

Don’t turn, Hisao don’t turn around!

But…slowly…just a little bit…I have to make sure…

…I turn around…

What stands before me is something right out of my nightmare…



“Hiii…saa…oooo…”

-END CHAPTER XI-

Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I'm writing it :D

This story is in progress, but we're soon coming close to the end of ACT III. If you're wondering what song it is Miyazaki's singing, it's NightMaRe by SNoW, check it out if you feel like it!
Last edited by Megumeru on Sun Mar 01, 2015 5:36 am, edited 8 times in total.

User avatar
nemz
Posts: 531
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:39 am

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED 09/04/14*

Post by nemz » Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:29 am

Nope, I refuse to believe such lies about Shizune. Must be some other spirit that is trying to piggyback Hisao's connection to Shizune to do it's wicked deeds. Surely that notebook will solve the case!
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED 09/04/14*

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:44 am

A bit less editing than in the previous chapters - especially the third person s is missing a few dozen times - and two or three where they don't belong.
Also a few tenses:
I turn to her…
…and froze
My curiosity meets the glare of a pair of blank, deathly eyes that seems to tore right through my lungs;
And quantities:
Her eyes widen and start to shed tears of blood as I watch in horror before it melts, leaving nothing but a gaping hole
Of course, it is difficult to determine how legit a club is when there’s only two known members of the Student Council; one of which passed away almost half a year ago
Two? Shouldn't it be three?
Dusk Maiden of class 3-3
Hehe...
“I-I’m afraid of your safety, Hisao.”
for
Nope, I refuse to believe such lies about Shizune. Must be some other spirit that is trying to piggyback Hisao's connection to Shizune to do it's wicked deeds. Surely that notebook will solve the case!
Well, since the parallels to the anime so far are quite noticeable I have some strong suspicions about that, but I don't think Megumeru would appreciate me going into detail...

Nice chapter, by the way ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Megumeru
Posts: 1260
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am
Location: Land of the Rising Sun

Re: The Haunting: A Love Story *UPDATED 09/04/14*

Post by Megumeru » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:36 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:A bit less editing than in the previous chapters - especially the third person s is missing a few dozen times - and two or three where they don't belong.
Also a few tenses:
I turn to her…
…and froze
My curiosity meets the glare of a pair of blank, deathly eyes that seems to tore right through my lungs;
And quantities:
Her eyes widen and start to shed tears of blood as I watch in horror before it melts, leaving nothing but a gaping hole
Of course, it is difficult to determine how legit a club is when there’s only two known members of the Student Council; one of which passed away almost half a year ago
Two? Shouldn't it be three?
Whoopsie. I'll get editing on those ASAP. :oops:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Nope, I refuse to believe such lies about Shizune. Must be some other spirit that is trying to piggyback Hisao's connection to Shizune to do it's wicked deeds. Surely that notebook will solve the case!
Well, since the parallels to the anime so far are quite noticeable I have some strong suspicions about that, but I don't think Megumeru would appreciate me going into detail...

Nice chapter, by the way ;-)
You'd be surprised what other things I might pull. 8)

Although, I mainly based it more on the paperback version than the anime. Some of you might be familiar about the concept and all, but don't guess too much. 8)


Still, thank you :D
Image
They say they hate Shizune? What is this? BLASPHEMY!

SHII-HAEL!
Shizune>Rin>Emi>Hanako>Lilly
"A writer is a light that reveals the world of his story from darkness. Shapes it from nothingness. If the writer stops, the world dies with it." - Alan Wake
Yes, I write stories. Currently working on: The Haunting: A Love Story

Post Reply