Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

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Leaty
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:35 am

dewelar wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Count me among those... Even after you telling us, her reaction still puzzles me a bit…
I don't want to step on Leaty's toes here, but since I did sign off on this scene, I would say that Our Takako is quite conflicted in this scene. She wants to say something, but she doesn't know Iwanako (yet?).
*notarizes this*
dewelar wrote:Also echoing Mirage to a degree...when Iwanako talks, it's never boring. She's capital-I Interesting to read, even when she perhaps shouldn't be.
It just makes me so happy that, especially in comparison to the days before I began this fic, people are starting to go "Right, I know what Iwanako's unique character traits are." People care about her now. Image
dewelar wrote:Overall, I have a hard time wrapping my head around Molly in general. As a character, she always strikes me as somewhat ephemeral, no matter how many stories I read that feature her. I suppose that's why you also added Taka-Taka, beyond just her connection to Emi, yes? If so, well played :) .
(I know you said to ignore this, but I already wrote a thing.)

I don't blame anyone for missing this detail, because at this point it's super-obscure, but as we saw in Not So Cute, Molly and Emi are not on a given-name basis. The person in that scene who said "Oh my god. I'll get [Nurse], Emi" was actually Miki. (Yes; Lilly, Emi, Iwanako, Molly, and Miki all arrived at the same point in the hallway at approximately the same time. It was a clown car moment.)
dewelar wrote:Seriously, though, I would love to see [Taka-Taka and Iwanako] have a full-fledged scene at some point.
I'd love to write it! She's on the short list of fanfiction characters I'd like to meaningfully incorporate somehow, along with Naoko from TD and Kagami. They're all characters I'd really like the chance to play around with at some point (along with some/most of Suriko's characters, particularly Blind Aoi, who I'm kind of in love with) if I manage to come up with the right arc.
Mirage_GSM wrote:I didn't mind that single scene as much as the whole main story relying a bit too much n one giant deus ex machina^^°
Well, yeah. Dragonflight isn't an especially good book. (I only read it in the first place so that I could RP in a Weyr with a friend, and almost immediately afterward, that RP collapsed because lady drama.)
Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, yes, but even if you don't intend to go in that direction, I'm looking forward to the resolution of their conflict. Contrite Emi is cute.
I certainly hope there aren't still readers who think that she's been written out of the plot. Write her out??? And miss out on all that drama?
Blank Mage wrote:Iwanako and Kagami on the same day, it's like CHRISTMAS!
So weird, right? April's Bounty, apparently. Neither I nor Forgetful were aware of the other, so given our update speeds that's gotta be a statistical near-impossibility.
Blank Mage wrote:I'm not 100% sure what your version of Yamaku is like. I like to think of the Yamaku student body as being incredibly supportive and understanding in general, simply because they're all in very similar boats, many of which aren't sea-worthy or prone to drifting into rocky outcroppings. (Seeing past the imperfections is, after all, kind of the Moral of the Story.)
I try to lean towards a "supportive" atmosphere without making it an "idyllic" one. I do want people to, well, give a damn, but I think kids are gonna be kids, too. Harry Potter wouldn't be as much fun if everyone was Hufflepuff, you know? (For the record, I am a Slytherin.)

There was a thread on the Something Awful forums a few years ago where a blind person talked about his experiences going to a middle/high school specifically for the visually impaired, and he described it as a "a horror show beyond words." For example, the administration was incentivized to ditch their high-functioning (in terms of visual ability) students for budgetary reasons, parents were just using the school as an excuse to dump off difficult children (particularly seriously autistic blind children), there were blind kids exclusively socializing with blind kids and having no idea how to interact with the world outside that little bubble, etc. Obviously this was somewhere in Indiana, not Sendai, but I'm sure a lot of that translates.

Anyway, I've tried to take a lot of that to heart—I'm not deaf, obviously, and so as a hearing person it's easy to fall into that sort of trap of "if I were a deaf person exclusively hanging out with other deaf people, life would be amazing." I'm trying to avoid that. I want to portray Yamaku as a really, really fantastic school where there's nevertheless a lot of bored teenagers doing a lot of stupid, petty shit, because that, to me, is reality. Plus, considering how isolated the school is... In a lot of ways, the students only have each other, for better and for worse.

Plus, you have to remember that, in a lot of ways, MTtB is a deconstructive fic—part of the broader, metatextual point of this story is to illustrate how neatly and perfectly Hisao fits into his own story, and how poorly literally any other character (in this case, Iwanako) would fill his shoes, in light of that. I love Katawa Shoujo, but Hisao lives in a Hisao-shaped hole. I try to work a just a little more conflict into this fic than he encountered, without losing the charm of the VN. Hopefully that's working out.
Blank Mage wrote:I can't help but wonder who Iwanako will attend the festival with. My bet is that she'll wander aimlessly, meeting several of the characters throughout the day, rather than spend the whole day with one.
Wandering aimlessly is pretty much just what Iwanako does, isn't it? She lacks purpose.
Blank Mage wrote:Also, Leaty, where is the Hanako hug?! I mean, look at the subtext! They obviously love each other, so boot up your word processor and make it happen! God, the nerve of some authors....
*snort*
Blank Mage wrote:It's actually why I'm writing a Shizune piece: I really sympathized with her, and in every fanfiction I read, she's lambasted by authors, portrayed as a self-centered, egotistical jerk whose only goal is to ridicule Lilly and play pointless mind-games with the rest. Which is completely accurate, but they don't have to sound so mean about it.
*nods* As I mentioned in your thread, I used to really dislike her, but nowadays I just kinda want to be her. (With longer hair.)
Blank Mage wrote:As a massive fan of FF8, this makes me unspeakably happy. (Maybe I'm just being contrary to all the FF7 fans, but his SWORD is a GUN and the INTRO is EPIC and then I broke TIME!)
Reese8 wrote:I don't suppose that that means she's eventually going to have to descend into Yamaku's basement to get the school airborne? :)
If I were to write an April Fool's scene, it'd be a prologue where a completely non-disabled Emi and Iwanako were dueling with gunblades in the middle of a storm, and then Emi blasted Iwanako right in the chest with a Meltdown spell, and as Iwanako collapsed she Gunblade+R1'd Emi's legs off, then woke up in the Infirmary and was escorted back to the dorms by Instructor Satou. (I guess that would make Momomi Rinoa, because dogs. Hisao is Ellone.)
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:Emi generally comes off as a pretty approachable and friendly character, even if she only forms bonds at a surface level. I could easily imagine her having many many acquaintences all through the school, but few if any that are actually her friends. Not unlike your Iwanako, it would seem.
This is insightful. In certain ways, Iwanako was the the Emi of her school before her heart attack. There are obvious parallels.
dewelar wrote:Yeah, you know, if I had to pick a horse in this race, it'd be this one right now, too -- although Iwanako/Keiko would be the stalking horse :wink:.
Huuuhhhhh... Perhaps I'm missing a really simple joke, but why Keiko, specifically, other than a shared penchant for playing with hair and the fact that she has one of the best character designs in the whole game? Much like with Molly, I was expecting that people were forgetting Aoi and Keiko were in this fic. Which should prove to be amusing later.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by dewelar » Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:46 am

Leaty wrote:
dewelar wrote:Yeah, you know, if I had to pick a horse in this race, it'd be this one right now, too -- although Iwanako/Keiko would be the stalking horse :wink:.
Huuuhhhhh... Perhaps I'm missing a really simple joke, but why Keiko, specifically, other than a shared penchant for playing with hair and the fact that she has one of the best character designs in the whole game?
Because I get the impression that Iwanako might be able to bond well with the long-suffering sidekick of a genki girl.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Reese8 » Thu Apr 02, 2015 3:03 am

Leaty wrote:If I were to write an April Fool's scene, it'd be a prologue where a completely non-disabled Emi and Iwanako were dueling with gunblades in the middle of a storm, and then Emi blasted Iwanako right in the chest with a Meltdown spell, and as Iwanako collapsed she Gunblade+R1'd Emi's legs off, then woke up in the Infirmary and was escorted back to the dorms by Instructor Satou. (I guess that would make Momomi Rinoa, because dogs. Hisao is Ellone.)
Heh. Yeah, personally, I prefer IX, but VIII did have a lot of cool stuff in it.
...And now I'm actually kind of wondering just how one would go about writing that recursive fusion fic. Making the person with the heart condition a crack international mercenary is unfortunately a bit of a stretch. I mean, just going to fight Ifrit in the beginning would probably be too much exertion, and I don't know how she'd manage to escape from the spider robot thing in Dollet. Emi might make a good Selphie, though...
But of course, the biggest problem is that it would be Iwanako/Momomi shipping instead of Iwanako/Hanako. :)

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Leaty
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:20 am

Shizune and Misha would be Fujin and Raijin. Like, you can't even argue that.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Reese8 » Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:44 am

Hah, yes!
Though that begs the question of who Seifer (might be getting the spelling wrong; it's been a while) would be.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Apr 02, 2015 1:25 pm

Well, yeah. Dragonflight isn't an especially good book. (I only read it in the first place so that I could RP in a Weyr with a friend, and almost immediately afterward, that RP collapsed because lady drama.)
I've read the first trilogy (3 in 1 edition). It was okay. I enjoyed it for the most part, noted some points that were not done so well and when I read the summaries for the sequels I decided that talking dolphins were not for me...
I certainly hope there aren't still readers who think that she's been written out of the plot. Write her out??? And miss out on all that drama?
What? No, I'd never think you would do that. Though I think the festival (as some seemed to suggest) would be a bit early for any believable reconciliation.
So weird, right? April's Bounty, apparently. Neither I nor Forgetful were aware of the other, so given our update speeds that's gotta be a statistical near-impossibility.
Don't forget the Japanese version of KS that also came out yesterday. Seems a lot of people tried to feed us false April Fool's jokes this year.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
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Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Solistor » Fri Apr 03, 2015 7:04 am

One word: Lovely.

Now it's time to pass out.
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by strange desire » Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:04 pm

Leaty wrote:I love Katawa Shoujo, but Hisao lives in a Hisao-shaped hole.
HNNG... HNNG... HNNG...

I apologize.

Another update well worth the wait. This is the first chapter in which Iwanako's way made me pause; the little 'Nako in my head had to take a breath. I love how it seems to work as a kind of stress-o-meter, how it vanishes when she's occupied by some minor task (like looking over books) but returns with vengeance when some incongruity appears.

A fellow reader made tribute to Iwanako on our Minecraft server upon learning of the new update. You've made some silly fans, Leaty.

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Leaty
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:15 pm

strange desire wrote:I apologize.
Nah, that's what I was going for.
Image
strange desire wrote:This is the first chapter in which Iwanako's way made me pause; the little 'Nako in my head had to take a breath. I love how it seems to work as a kind of stress-o-meter, how it vanishes when she's occupied by some minor task (like looking over books) but returns with vengeance when some incongruity appears.
I'll admit I'm having a bit of trouble parsing what you're saying here, but I'm getting the gist of it, and I'm glad I'm able to have that effect on you as a reader. Thank you so much for the praise.
strange desire wrote:A fellow reader made tribute to Iwanako on our Minecraft server upon learning of the new update. You've made some silly fans, Leaty.
It still blows my mind that I have fans at all. I'm just kind of doing my thing.

Do you think you could screenshot that Minecraft thing for me?

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by strange desire » Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:44 pm

Leaty wrote:
strange desire wrote:This is the first chapter in which Iwanako's way made me pause; the little 'Nako in my head had to take a breath. I love how it seems to work as a kind of stress-o-meter, how it vanishes when she's occupied by some minor task (like looking over books) but returns with vengeance when some incongruity appears.
I'll admit I'm having a bit of trouble parsing what you're saying here, but I'm getting the gist of it, and I'm glad I'm able to have that effect on you as a reader. Thank you so much for the praise.
Sorry, I was referring to the use of italics.
Leaty wrote:Do you think you could screenshot that Minecraft thing for me?
You've just made someone very happy. I present thee...
Image
Iwanako, the infant zombie pig man riding a chicken. (Click to embiggen.)

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Leaty
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:28 pm

strange desire wrote:Sorry, I was referring to the use of italics.
Oh, yeah. I get it now.
strange desire wrote:You've just made someone very happy. I present thee...
Iwanako, the infant zombie pig man riding a chicken. (Click to embiggen.)
Haha, I don't understand Minecraft at all, but that is awesome.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:37 pm

Hey, sorry to double-post. I wanted to test something and see how it worked, and I want everybody's opinion on it. everybody to laugh at me for wasting time on this monstrosity. I've been messing around in GIMP, and I wanted to quickly redo a scene with this experimental technology.
___________________________________________
___________________________________________

Hanako. Oh god.”

There’s a cluster of beanbags on the floor that I didn’t see before, and she was sitting on one so silently I didn’t even notice her until she was right under my nose, and, judging by the look on her face, we scared the hell out of each other... Oh god, I’m hyperventilating.

“I’m so sorry,” I wheeze out. “I had no idea anybody was—“
Image
My chest clenches, and hand reaches instinctively for my chest—

This… this is not good. There’s a telltale ache swelling under my sternum and slowly spreading out. It’s not unbearable yet—
Image
Oh, crap. No no no no no nonononononono shut up shut up SHUT UP STOP IT—
___________________________________________
___________________________________________

Okay, so no. That's shit, isn't it?

Multimedia is so complicated.
Last edited by Leaty on Fri Apr 03, 2015 7:23 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:43 pm

It looks pretty cool, but it might be distracting. Thinking about it, I would probably prefer it without the flashing thumps.
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Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Reese8 » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:44 pm

Hm. It seems to me like an improvement but not an especially big one; I wouldn't object to it, but the current text version is also fine.
Neat effect, though.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:48 pm

AntonSlavik020 wrote:It looks pretty cool, but it might be distracting. Thinking about it, I would probably prefer it without the flashing thumps.
Yeah, I wanted it to replicate the heartbeat effect from the VN, obviously, but it seems like that's pretty much impossible to do in text. At least, the way it is now, with three different thump speeds, doesn't work at all.

I deserve ridicule for trying to gild the lily like this. I edited it all to the slow thumps because I couldn't stand looking at it anymore.

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