Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Mahorfeus »

I've never really thought of Iwanako really being similar to Hanako in any way, but the change to her appearance was a nice touch overall. It definitely contrasts her from Hisao's character in a few ways.

As for this being a yuri fic... I do suppose you had slim pickings as far as viable male love interests go. As you remarked before, I would've found it hard to take a relationship with any of the cameo characters seriously. However, as Mirage stated, no character asides from Misha is canonically lesbian, though given the new POV and the other characters' overall lack of presence in the VN, you could really make anything fly.

So far Iwanako's more or less been on his rails, but experiencing things differently because well, she's a different person. This has been a good read, and I am indeed looking forward to the point where things diverge from Hisao's experience more.
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Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Leaty »

(deadfic)
Last edited by Leaty on Sun Mar 13, 2022 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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griffon8
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by griffon8 »

Leaty wrote:Quick poll before I get ready for work: Would anybody object to my writing in a Yamaku student with argyria? It's something I'm giving a fair bit of consideration to, but at the same time I realize it might be regarded as too absurd for the tone of the VN.
I'd consider it a little absurd. It's not a condition that is harmful to your health or makes anything difficult except possibly socially.

Also, given we're dealing with 18-year-olds, it would indicate moronic parents. :roll:
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Shimmie pics are generally not canon, and in this case the comment for Miki is wrong - she obviously is in the game even if I have no idea what OTL means - so I see no reason why the other comment should be any more correct.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Leaty »

(deadfic)
Last edited by Leaty on Sun Mar 13, 2022 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ascended Flutist
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Ascended Flutist »

So I decided to give that story a shot. Alternate perspective, Iwanako, might be cool.

The perspective is alternate alright. Good job making it feel drastically different from the VN. I like how meaningful you made the shopping and hairstyle scenes. Could have been a 'she's a gurl who does gurly stuff so there, haev gurly stuff' scene, but it had weight. That's good.

I had a good time reading that, so thanks :]

And...Argyria. Dunmers in real life? 'Dunmans'?... Oh yes, that could be very interesting, depending on how you decide to flesh him/her out. As far as comic relief goes, we already have Kenji, though Iwanako wouldn't see him often, since she'd live in the girls dorms, right? Although, knowing Kenji...er, yes.
So yes, I suppose you could make a grey-skinned individual that is a comic relief character. That would certainly be interesting to see.
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Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
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Kielox
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Kielox »

Great story, really like the writing! More coming?
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Helbereth
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Helbereth »

I like the idea of an alternate reality where the roles reverse between Hisao and Iwanako. Thus far, it's portrayed differently enough that it feels like a separate story even though it follows some of the same beats as the original VN. Giving Iwanako some good and bad personality traits helps to dispel some of the nostalgia one might feel about her compared to the original story, and allows the reader to see her as a complete character.

As for the Argyria thing.

It's an odd condition that, as has been said, would probably make someone socially awkward as Hanako's burns have done. The implications of how someone so young could wind up with the condition are distressing to sat the least. If it were the result of abuse or something similar, there could be underlying broken-home issues to go along with it, and how they deal with that might make for some interesting dialogue. However, it might be difficult to explain why they were sent to Yamaku unless the Argyria is the icing on some other kind of disability's karma-cake. Then again, Hanako's condition isn't life-threatening in that same ilk, so what do I know?

Is this the thought you had for Iwanako's crazy hallmate (a mirror for Kenji)? I'm intrigued if it is.
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nemz
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by nemz »

Leaty wrote:3-1 is the deaf class, as far as I know. It's apparently so overflowing that Shizune (who almost assuredly leads the pack in having her shit together) has to attend a "normal" class. I'd imagine she has a counterpart in class 3-4. I envision the random dude who replaced Lelouch as being partially deaf, as well.
Huh, that's an interesting thought. I suppose that would make sense, with deafness being a fairly common type of special needs issue, and quite possibly also the destination of those with speech impairments. If that's the case I wonder if then 3-4 would likely primarily consist of those with mobility and other limb/spine related impairments, though that being the largest category of physical and sensory disability it makes sense for there to be more such students than can fit in one class, hence the large number of such in 3-3 as well.

Assuming all of this I could easily see Shizune being resistant to being placed in the all-deaf class as a point of her competitive pride. Perhaps that's a part of why she latched onto Misha so strongly... seeing her as a potential way to get into mainstreamed classes?
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Leaty »

(deadfic)
Last edited by Leaty on Sun Mar 13, 2022 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Other deaf guy? Do you mean Takashi?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako) (u. 6/3/2012)

Post by Leaty »

(deadfic)
Last edited by Leaty on Sun Mar 13, 2022 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Leaty
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Scene Five

Post by Leaty »

(deadfic)
Last edited by Leaty on Sun Mar 13, 2022 11:14 pm, edited 8 times in total.
Leaty
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_______________________________________________________

Post by Leaty »

(Was there any reason this scene needed to be split up into two posts? Yeah, I don't think so either.)
Last edited by Leaty on Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:40 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence) (u 2/14/2

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Once again a very good job.
You deviate from the original enough to make reading the story a fresh experience, you don't hesitate to give minor characters (here Molly) a larger part and you write witty dialogue while still staying true to the characters.
I'm glad you chose to continue this.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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