Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

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Eurobeatjester
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Eurobeatjester » Fri Jun 19, 2015 8:00 pm

It's one thing to write an amazing story, but the amount of additional effort you've put in to make it so much more than that truly makes it more than the sum of its parts :)
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by FISCHERWMT » Fri Jun 26, 2015 9:51 pm

Joined forum because of Developments. with no new chapters there, saw comment by you and started your story. Three days and have now read up to date here.
I love the angst that Iwanako is going through. Looking forward to her moving forward.
Don't quite understand Misha not translating what came to be the note.
Looking forward to next installment.

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swampie2
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by swampie2 » Sat Jun 27, 2015 4:33 pm

Lots of new stuff here, I'm loving it.

Looking forward to part 19 :)
One Shots - My stories thread.

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rimvydasm
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by rimvydasm » Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:46 pm

i really enjoy reading this story,i like relationship Iwanako and Hanako ,they really do get along.I feel sorry for Emi,i know it's her fault what happen to Iwanako,but still i think she was to cruel to Emi.
good work so far,anyway,,looking forwar to next update :)
Lilly master race!

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Leaty
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Leaty » Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:10 pm

This was a present to myself from a while ago (I was celebrating something), and it's finally done. It feels pretty good to have a genuine MTtB image. Credit to Eguana for the pic.

Image

It's a thematic image, by the way. This isn't the illustration to an upcoming scene.
Last edited by Leaty on Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Reese8
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Reese8 » Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:22 pm

Oh, nice.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by dewelar » Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:02 pm

Very nice, indeed! I was fortunate enough to see a rough sketch of this image, and I must say the completed work looks wonderful. I especially like Iwanako's hair here. Also, I didn't even notice the spider before, so I'd wondered what Misha was reacting to, so now it makes much more sense :).
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Aug 07, 2015 3:01 am

I like how the three characters have so completely different reactions, from Misha's panic to Shizune's mild annoyance to Iwanako's not caring at all.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by LordDarknus » Sun Sep 20, 2015 1:58 pm

Leaty wrote:This was a present to myself from a while ago...
http://i.imgur.com/kPGP1kj.jpg
Spider-Gwen, Spider-Gwen,
Iwanako's not Spider-Gwen.

Can she swing, from a thread?
No she can't, she's too scared.

"LOOK OUT~! THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR HAND~!"

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. ...And maybe drink it with a funny straw?

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Blackmambauk » Mon Sep 28, 2015 7:28 pm

Been reading this for a week now and I have reached the point where I can leave my review for your fic.

This really stand's out as quite unique compared to many other KS fic's on this site, not just because of Iwanako being the main character here and not Hisao. Pretty much making it a chicks before dicks fic, though I do wonder exactly how you plan to show Iwanako having the taste for the rainbow :D? wonder if the curiosity to try the more exotic flavour of skittles has always been there in her mind? Research has shown that people are not 100% straight or 100% homosexual.

I have a good guess as to the lucky person in question, but I shall keep it to myself til you decide to show it in story. Have to make you squirm a bit :twisted:.

I have immensely enjoyed getting into Iwanako's head throughout the story so far, her bitterness, insecurity and perchance for fancy words get a reaction from me every chapter and leave me conflicted on feeling for her and wanting to help her, wanting to smack her silly and say stop whining. To enjoying seeing her engage in her icy side to some people, that I get the sense she has hidden for a number of years throughout her life. That's what I like most about your fic, your level of detail for Iwanako make her feel more fleshed out than Hisao was. Though I always suspected that was intentional with Hisao (though Hisao compared to the vast majority of lead VN's has some personality and shows why any of the girls would be interested in him) compared to say Makato Itou from School Days. Then again I get the impression from the anime and vn's of that series that the makers are well aware of what they are doing and are either doing a stealth parody of Harem series or a deconstruction of it.

Back to your fic, you avoid the many traps lesser writers would have had with writing Iwanako in Hisao's place. Along with doing act one scenes but in very different contexts and interactions, all benefitting greatly from our knowledge of the girls from the games and what happened in each route. This fic is very much like a new game plus in how it plays with readers knowledge of the girls and makes how Iwanako interacts with them either sad, happy or plain funny in different ways.

Best example being when Emi run's into Iwanako and causes her back into the hospital, where you very nicely build Iwanako's rage from the dick doctor to her caring but ditzy mother (that info about how she put make up on before giving birth actually reminds me of a relative I know who did something similar) pissing off to Europe. Finally to Emi's unfortunate apology that was badly worded and made it more about her, leading to Iwanako to break down in style and really chew emi out.

Brilliant way of showing two girls who serve as foils to one another but more similar than some would think. Same with her interactions with Hanako and Lilly, while all three embody Yamato Nadeshiko to some extent. They each represent different parts of it, Lilly the iron but still very silk part, Hanako the sweet but not as fragile as she looks part and Iwanako at the moment the fragile and not as iron doormat part.

Like how both Iwanako and Shizune hit it off on the wrong foot due to both of them judging the other for their look and personality at first glance. With Misha in between being Misha. I wouldn't mind Iwanako getting to see Misha' depressing side and how she ain't as bubbly as she looks.

My favourite scene was probably the nurse scene, where he really showed how seriously he takes his job and actually in the best way possible tries to get Iwanako to open up to someone about her problems. Something all the other adults have failed to do due to either being a twat like the doctor, socially clueless like Muotu, an idiot like Iwanako's mother. Leaving Iwanako very embittered to the point she won't trust any adult.

This is as it has been pointed out is very Daria like in tone, characters and it's outlook on life. With I assume some personal experiences thrown in at one or two points. It's cynicism is interesting and how it will go from here will be interesting to see, though I suspect it will get a little more idealistic as it goes. Though overall I'm expecting there will be a bittersweet ending in this fic, but you never know and I think you can pull off a happy ending if your aiming for that.

Like all the clique stuff I have seen so far, this is high school and disable communities have this sort of stuff go on all the time, trust me from what I have seen in the autistic community from where I have spent time in when I was learning about my Asperger's syndrome.

Now for Momomi, at first I was a bit unsure on her since overall it felt a bit like she was thrown in there for the sake of having a kenji like character for Iwanako to deal with. Personally I'm a bit mixed on Kenji as while some of his stuff was funny, I felt a number of his scenes in KS were too long, repetitive in content, hard to put up with the sexism, and the fact his problems were played for laughs 80% of the time when the girls were played mostly seriously. So I was worried you were being a bit lazy here.

But Momomi has grown on me as the story has gone on as I feel she showed more of her own character and didn't feel like female kenji. Especially in the hair scene with Iwanako where she reveals there lays some sweet parts to her, and the fact that despite her insistence. She is actually quite immature somewhat, not to mention has left me wondering if she has tried out any of the boys at Yamaku. Perhaps someone who lacks vision in a number of ways :wink:. I wonder who this "boy" is at college she claims to be dating. Is that something for future stuff or just a one off mention. Sorry I love to spectate since you add all these lovely little details into your chapters that can serve as lovely red herrings or foreshadowing for future events.

This fic is in the top three chart of best KS fic, the other two for me are Learning to Fly and Sisterhood. Though Weekend at Hisao's is a personal favourite just for expanding on Shizune's ending without losing the subtle touch of her route too much. Haven't read Development simply due to Sisterhood exploring Hanako and Lilly in every way possible. These days I look for fic's to focus on other characters than those two, I do love them but there are other girls in KS's universe and I like writers who challenge themselves to explore them, not just talking about say Miki or Suzu here. Lord that the former have enough routes on this site and most have fallen to her curse.

I have a possible idea on who the 90's anime character Iwanako takes influence from. Is suspect it's someone from Revoluntary Girl Utena for some reason or from another famous 90's anime series.

Sorry rambled on for long enough, really enjoying your fic and I await for the day when you update it.

Blackmambauk
Last edited by Blackmambauk on Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:06 am

Haven't read Development simply due to Sisterhood exploring Hanako and Lilly in every way possible.
You can only say that because you haven't read Developments.
...and really half a dozen other fics that explore those characters in yet more different ways.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by brythain » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:31 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Haven't read Development simply due to Sisterhood exploring Hanako and Lilly in every way possible.
You can only say that because you haven't read Developments.
...and really half a dozen other fics that explore those characters in yet more different ways.
Now that you mention it, that line seems rather lewd.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Blackmambauk » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:51 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Haven't read Development simply due to Sisterhood exploring Hanako and Lilly in every way possible.
You can only say that because you haven't read Developments.
...and really half a dozen other fics that explore those characters in yet more different ways.
That is true and I readily admit that, I'm a opinionated person and have never pretended to be anything but that. I'm very upfront in how personally I have never found Lilly or Hanako all that interesting as characters, likeable yes and I enjoyed their routes for the strengths of the writing in them (KS writing was that good in my eyes), but interesting is my preference for characters where Shizune and Rin grabbed it more. Plus as Leaty said they are the Wolverine/Deadpool of KS and overexposure of any character can dampen opinion of any character no matter how good or popular they are, even when most of it is written well enough.

Overall I meant in ways that I feel are interesting and enjoyable to read about for me personally that I don't get from the game. Which Sisterhood did for one of the reasons being that it's portrayal of Lilly's parents were for me a lot more deeper, believable and enjoyable than other fic's I have read that decided to explore them. Along with how Hanako's issues were explored in that fic that very few could come close to, hell it equals the game's exploration of her in many ways and exceeds it as well at somepoint's. I'm very picky on what fiction I go through in general (one being time, another is that my tolerance for lesser works isn't as high as it used to be with the many works of fictions I have gone through over the years) and Developments premise hasn't stroke my interest overall, it's something I might check out eventually but at the moment my interest is elsewhere like here and Learning to Fly.

Hope that clarifies my remarks a bit better.

Blackmambauk
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

Post by Blackmambauk » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:54 am

brythain wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Haven't read Development simply due to Sisterhood exploring Hanako and Lilly in every way possible.
You can only say that because you haven't read Developments.
...and really half a dozen other fics that explore those characters in yet more different ways.
Now that you mention it, that line seems rather lewd.
It does if you have a pretty active imagination like many on this site do :lol:.
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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