Her, please, but thank you for noticing.Mirage_GSM wrote:It's nice to see someone putting some actual medical research into his story.
Nope. Not a fan of that series and even if I was I'm not a huge fan of shout outs, so... Shrug.Bad Apple wrote:Was this a reference to a certain novel series or is the wording a coincidence?
Out of curiosity, what were you expecting to get instead? I find that surprising, since this was literally the only kind of chapter I could ever have imagined writing.Blasphemy wrote:I share the same sentiments as Mirage. This was the kind of hospital chapter I was hoping for but didn't expect to get.
And I'm glad you liked Nurse's dialog, since I honestly wasn't sure about it. He's put into a position we never really see him in in the game (Hanako's route is the only moment even remotely similar,) and he's honestly a lot harder to write than I ever would have guessed.
I'm glad I'm doing a decent job of keeping Iwanako's pessimism from being obnoxious. I try to do my best to keep wangst out of my writing.AntonSlavik020 wrote:I don't usually like it when characters have such a negative mindset, but in this case it makes perfect sense, so it doesn't bother me.
As a side note, I don't see it as a characteristic she developed after her heart attack; my impression of Iwanako before the events of Katawa Shoujo is that of someone who was well-liked for being sweet and personable but known to close friends as being a little Eeyorish.
You have to keep in mind the context. Minor concussions aren't a big deal, and even Iwanako knows that, but there's a world of difference between getting a concussion in an accident and getting a concussion in an accident four months after suffering a life-changing heart attack and four days after finally being discharged from the hospital. Though it would have been highly unusual for Iwanako's particular symptoms to be caused by her arrhythmia, it's not outside the realm of possibility that they could have been caused by one of her medications, and for the actual culprit to be a bog-standard concussion, almost completely unrelated to her heart condition, is something that would have come out of left field unless you'd experienced one before. Iwanako, being slightly more durable than the Dead Sea Scrolls, has obviously spent her life avoiding the kind of situations that cause them.neio wrote:Between the obvious warning signs and the doctor's reassurance, Iwanako shouldn't be so shocked and bothered. I've had a couple concussions (granted, I don't have arrhythmia) and they're not the end of the world.
So, her initial reaction to the doctor's diagnosis isn't horror, but indignation. The timing here borders on the absurd. That she would happen to suffer a concussion completely tangential to a cardiac event is almost comically unfortunate. There's only so many mishaps you can go through before you start to wonder if you were Baron Ungern in a past life, you know?
Part of the mindset I write this story with is that, on a metatextual level, the world of Katawa Shoujo isn't meant for Iwanako; it's meant for Hisao, so living in his world (at least, the world that was meant for him) shouldn't be any easier for her than walking around in his clothes would be. I don't see my story as a Path fic or a shipping fic; if anything, I'd call it a transposition fic.Bad Apple wrote:It's upsetting that Iwanako's transition isn't going as smoothly as Hisao's, but that's part of why this is such a great fic.
As a side note, one of the reasons this chapter took so long to publish is because I decided to play The Royal Trap and spent two days afterwards in a burst of inspiration writing a one-shot fanfic for it. That fanfic is not by any stretch ready for prime time, but the point I'm trying to make here is that The Royal Trap is absolutely wonderful and everybody who likes Katawa Shoujo ought to play it.