Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

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Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Leaty » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:27 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:It's nice to see someone putting some actual medical research into his story.
Her, please, but thank you for noticing. Image
Bad Apple wrote:Was this a reference to a certain novel series or is the wording a coincidence?
Nope. Not a fan of that series and even if I was I'm not a huge fan of shout outs, so... Shrug.
Blasphemy wrote:I share the same sentiments as Mirage. This was the kind of hospital chapter I was hoping for but didn't expect to get.
Out of curiosity, what were you expecting to get instead? I find that surprising, since this was literally the only kind of chapter I could ever have imagined writing.

And I'm glad you liked Nurse's dialog, since I honestly wasn't sure about it. He's put into a position we never really see him in in the game (Hanako's route is the only moment even remotely similar,) and he's honestly a lot harder to write than I ever would have guessed.
AntonSlavik020 wrote:I don't usually like it when characters have such a negative mindset, but in this case it makes perfect sense, so it doesn't bother me.
I'm glad I'm doing a decent job of keeping Iwanako's pessimism from being obnoxious. I try to do my best to keep wangst out of my writing.

As a side note, I don't see it as a characteristic she developed after her heart attack; my impression of Iwanako before the events of Katawa Shoujo is that of someone who was well-liked for being sweet and personable but known to close friends as being a little Eeyorish.
neio wrote:Between the obvious warning signs and the doctor's reassurance, Iwanako shouldn't be so shocked and bothered. I've had a couple concussions (granted, I don't have arrhythmia) and they're not the end of the world.
You have to keep in mind the context. Minor concussions aren't a big deal, and even Iwanako knows that, but there's a world of difference between getting a concussion in an accident and getting a concussion in an accident four months after suffering a life-changing heart attack and four days after finally being discharged from the hospital. Though it would have been highly unusual for Iwanako's particular symptoms to be caused by her arrhythmia, it's not outside the realm of possibility that they could have been caused by one of her medications, and for the actual culprit to be a bog-standard concussion, almost completely unrelated to her heart condition, is something that would have come out of left field unless you'd experienced one before. Iwanako, being slightly more durable than the Dead Sea Scrolls, has obviously spent her life avoiding the kind of situations that cause them.

So, her initial reaction to the doctor's diagnosis isn't horror, but indignation. The timing here borders on the absurd. That she would happen to suffer a concussion completely tangential to a cardiac event is almost comically unfortunate. There's only so many mishaps you can go through before you start to wonder if you were Baron Ungern in a past life, you know?
Bad Apple wrote:It's upsetting that Iwanako's transition isn't going as smoothly as Hisao's, but that's part of why this is such a great fic.
Part of the mindset I write this story with is that, on a metatextual level, the world of Katawa Shoujo isn't meant for Iwanako; it's meant for Hisao, so living in his world (at least, the world that was meant for him) shouldn't be any easier for her than walking around in his clothes would be. I don't see my story as a Path fic or a shipping fic; if anything, I'd call it a transposition fic.

As a side note, one of the reasons this chapter took so long to publish is because I decided to play The Royal Trap and spent two days afterwards in a burst of inspiration writing a one-shot fanfic for it. That fanfic is not by any stretch ready for prime time, but the point I'm trying to make here is that The Royal Trap is absolutely wonderful and everybody who likes Katawa Shoujo ought to play it.

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sanduba
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by sanduba » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:07 pm

I wonder where are you going with this fic. No Lilly yet, but apparently she will meet her if she becomes friends with Hanako, Rin was met when Misha asks Hisao to go grab supplies, but Shizune hates Iwanako, so the chances of meeting Rin are hard. Emi, well...
“this was… something of a wake-up call for some of us. Believe me, it will never happen again.”
She will probably be expelled, unless Nurse intervenes o.o

But there are also your OC. I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Comrade
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Comrade » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:09 pm

sanduba wrote:I wonder where are you going with this fic. No Lilly yet, but apparently she will meet her if she becomes friends with Hanako, Rin was met when Misha asks Hisao to go grab supplies, but Shizune hates Iwanako, so the chances of meeting Rin are hard. Emi, well...
“this was… something of a wake-up call for some of us. Believe me, it will never happen again.”
She will probably be expelled, unless Nurse intervenes o.o

But there are also your OC. I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
I'll bet you the nurse is going to cover up the whole thing. In fact iwanako wasn't hit in the head when she fell it was the nurse making sure she'll stay at the hospital until he could silently assassinate her and make it look like an accident
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Leaty
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Leaty » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:25 pm

I can think of no better way to convince Kenji that Iwanako was the Leon Trotsky of the Feminists.

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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by sanduba » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:26 pm

hahaha wtf man
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Comrade
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Comrade » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:37 pm

Leaty wrote:I can think of no better way to convince Kenji that Iwanako was the Leon Trotsky of the Feminists.
Trotsky?! Where?!
I heard Mexico was nice this time of the year
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Mader Levap » Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:43 pm

Leaty wrote:“this was… something of a wake-up call for some of us. Believe me, it will never happen again.”
Huh. Well, considering that safety is one of big selling points of Yamaku I can already see it will make rather large stink.

I cannot see Emi avoiding expellation, even taking in account her relationship with Nurse. Too much public scrutiny. How school would explain to journalists why Emi still attend school like nothing happened?

This could get really interesting. By that I mean really messy. :3
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Blasphemy » Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:13 pm

Well it's really hard to anticipate what would happen in such a situation if a student were to cause a near fatal accident for another student.

First of all I simply have no idea what the Japanese law would say in cases like this. Then there's also the higher expectancy of a student death in Yamaku. I mean it's not like Emi outright killed someone by running into them, instead she triggered the condition of that person.

On the other hand, rules against corridor running and the like are much more strict in Yamaku because the consequences can be much more dire, thus neglecting such a rule is a higher offense than elsewhere.

In general I'd also expect the offender to be expelled in circumstances like this. However, in this particular story we have to consider that Nurse will probably try his best to prevent that. Then one has to wonder how much Iwanako's parents will care about this. For now it doesn't appear like much at all... If they don't demand Emi's expulsion her chances to stay are already much higher. I think we can also agree that Emi will promise to behave as good as possible from now on. What will Iwanako say to all this? We'll have to see.

If Emi does manage to stay, she'll still be in some knee deep shit. Feeling guilty is one thing, how all the students will treat her from now on, that's another story. Can't be much fun walking through the corridors when the entire school knows you were almost responsible for the death of one of the students.

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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:02 pm

..., but Shizune hates Iwanako, so the chances of meeting Rin are hard.
I find it kind of hard to follow your logic here...

Regarding Emi, I don't think nurse would be the type to cover up something like this, but I can't see anybody getting expelled for causing an accident. She's in for a hell of a lot of detention though.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by bhtooefr » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:11 pm

You know, I wonder... in US schools, removal of athletic privileges is sometimes used as a punishment for academic or behavioral failings.

Will Emi be removed from the track team, or maybe even banned from use of the track?

I could see that as being EXTREMELY devastating for her. Hell, with expulsion, she could go to a normal school and be fine most likely.
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by sanduba » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:47 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
..., but Shizune hates Iwanako, so the chances of meeting Rin are hard.
I find it kind of hard to follow your logic here...
XD
Hisao only volunteered to help Misha because he liked Shizune and her. Then he met Rin.

Understand now? XD
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Panthour » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:52 pm

Iwanako really needs to shout at someone. It sounds kinda strange when I write it down, but in her position I probably would've had a go at the doctor. Shouting makes me feel better for some reason. Then again maybe it's just my bad temper.

I usually love Emi, but the way Iwanako blames her and makes her out to be the bad guy was great. I don't know why, but the different perspective makes it seem very different from Hisao's version. In his he basically has a heart flutter and eats some apology lunch with Emi an everything is fine again. But Iwanako almost died because of Emi's recklessness, and she doesn't seem like the kinda girl to let that go. :)

On another note the chapter was awesome, and seeing Iwanako break down like that was surprising. (The good kind of surprise!) I'm rooting for her even more now, she must be happy!

The only thing the bothered me was her mother. I know it's kinda lampshaded by Iwanako but in the first chapters she was so caring, then here she just goes off on vacation, and doesn't seem concerned enough to stop partying. I know it's just one of those things to add to Iwanako's stress, but I was pretty un-motherly if you get me. (or Maybe I'm over-thinking this :P)

Though I am curious about her brother. I can't remember if he was ever mentioned before, so I am curious to find out about him.
sanduba wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
..., but Shizune hates Iwanako, so the chances of meeting Rin are hard.
I find it kind of hard to follow your logic here...
XD
Hisao only volunteered to help Misha because he liked Shizune and her. Then he met Rin.

Understand now? XD
Why should the only way to meet Rin be through Misha & Shizune? Surely they could meet in another scenario rather than never once encountering each-other. Iwanako has a connection to Emi now, albeit a not very good one, but it's possible that Rin cold be introduced through Emi somehow.
Last edited by Panthour on Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:55 pm

There's no reason he couldn't meet Rin in any number of different ways.
By this time Iwanako is well and truly off the paved road Hisao took. She's going to spend the whole time until the festival in the hospital. I think that's a much better reason why she's unlikely to meet Rin... Except if Emi comes by to apologize (Something I actually expected to happen in this chapter) and Rin tags along.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Bad Apple » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:06 pm

Oh, so I was spot-on about the concussion matter? Excellent.
Leaty wrote:The Royal Trap
I'm no VN veteran but I'll take what I can find. I'll check it out. Trap and VN in the same sentence is making me think of another kind of trap however...
Comrade wrote:I'll bet you the nurse is going to cover up the whole thing. In fact iwanako wasn't hit in the head when she fell it was the nurse making sure she'll stay at the hospital until he could silently assassinate her and make it look like an accident
Leaty wrote:I can think of no better way to convince Kenji that Iwanako was the Leon Trotsky of the Feminists.
Jesus Marxin' Christ... Shut up and take my money, a comrade (or, well, Comrade) should get to work on this. Posthaste!
Blasphemy wrote:If Emi does manage to stay, she'll still be in some knee deep shit.
I see what you did there.
sanduba wrote:XD
Hisao only volunteered to help Misha because he liked Shizune and her. Then he met Rin.

Understand now? XD
No, because Panthour and Mirage nailed it. Your logic is non sequitur, sorry. Besides, the author's stated goal isn't to make Iwanako's story exactly mirror Hisao's. They are not the same person.
Last edited by Bad Apple on Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mean Time to Breakdown — (Iwanako, Divergence){u 10/20/2

Post by Blasphemy » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:46 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote: Regarding Emi, I don't think nurse would be the type to cover up something like this, but I can't see anybody getting expelled for causing an accident. She's in for a hell of a lot of detention though.
I don't think he'd cover up for Emi but still try his best to prevent as severe punishment as expulsion. As far as I'm concerned Nurse is a honest man that deeply cares about his job, or more closely the well being of his students. If nothing serious is going on he can be the funny guy making, sometimes questionable, jokes, but in the end he'll always be professional when required. He wouldn't lie or try any immoral tricks to get Emi out of troubles, but what he would do is try to mitigate unnecessary damage/punishment that ultimately helps none. For example, if Iwanako would like to see Emi expelled during a conversation with Nurse and Emi, I can imagine Nurse telling her s.th. akin to this: "Look, what Emi did was beyond reckless and we're all glad that you avoided the worst. Yet, while I can completely understand any anger towards Emi, you should also consider that it wasn't with malicious intent and she did learn her lesson. This is never going to happen again, you've got my word on it. If Emi gets expelled from Yamaku now it won't improve your situation and it'll make it only worse for Emi. So please reconsider this."

At least that's how I see it. This whole ordeal puts him in a pretty dire situation where he'll struggle trying to help out a 'friend' but also keep true to his ideas of morality etc.

I always felt like Nurse has quite an interesting characterization. Unfortunately his character never really gets stress-tested in KS. Or fortunately from a certain point of view. But anyways, I'm glad this fanfic got him trapped in an, all in all, interesting position.

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