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KS: Bloodline (Act 2: Chapter Three 2/11)

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:04 am
by atw_ah
Hello everyone, I'm actually relatively new to the forum and I've been amazed at everyone's works and most of all, their sense of community. I've notice that most of the people commenting on each of the fanfics has their own story to add to this community. But my short time here on the forum has been eating away at my soul because I felt like I was cheating all of you. I'm here reading all of your stories but not contributing any of my own. But that changes today. I've been inspired by everyone's works to write one of my own. It's my first time writing a story in about four years, everything else I've written has been essays and research papers. But enough with this self-introduction. Now without further ado, I present to you my first fan-fiction:

Katawa Shoujo: Bloodline
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Act 0: The Lives we Lost

Chapter One: Adventure

I don't normally have a problem going to sleep at night. Usually, after a tiring day, I'm able to just rest my head on my pillow and easily fall asleep. There are only a few things that can make me just lay here with nothing to do: anxiety, anticipation, apprehension, and confusion. I guess all of those things are here tonight, I just can't stop thinking about what is left of my life. I can't predict the future but I can remember what lead me to this point.

I was just a average person, nothing special about me. I didn't have many friends, mainly because I didn't like the company of others. There wasn't anything wrong with the people I met, some of them were kind, gentle souls, but I didn't feel the need to make any connection more than just knowing their names.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I spent all of my time alone in my room, I actually went out pretty often. I would do anything to just get out of the house and find something to do. Those were my little adventures. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, I just did whatever I found interesting until it ran its course. My parents didn't mind my adventures, in fact they encouraged them, as long as they didn't interfere with my school work.

One such adventure lead me to join a local track club. I had a few acquaintances in the club who were my classmates. They had noticed me running across my school's campus in order to make it to my class on time and thought that I had a lot of potential. I didn't think much of these people, due to the fact that they would consistently ditch class and do poorly on exams. At first I declined their offer, but after they showed a great effort into trying to get me to join, I accepted and started on my new adventure.

It was fun to say the least, albeit time consuming and tiring, but it was fun. I quickly found myself engrossed in this adventure and became dedicated in developing my form and controlling my breathing. I rose up the ranks on the team at a surprising rate, I even surpassed the very same acquaintances that convinced me to join. The coaches felt that I was to become a great asset to team and focused a lot of their time into preparing me to become the anchor of the mile relay.

It was the last track meet of the season when it happened. It was the final event, the mile relay. It wasn't my first time being the anchor, but it had never be this important. We needed this win, not second, not third, but first and nothing else. When the starting pistol went off, the first runner from my school took the early lead. The second runner, though not our fastest, kept the lead without losing the buffer created from the first lap. The third runner increased our buffer, it was almost certain that we had it. I was waiting at the finish line, prepared to take the baton and finish the last lap of the relay. The third runner put the last of his strength into sprinting the last 100 meters and handed the baton perfectly into my left hand.

I took a step with my left foot, then my right.

I switched the baton into my right hand.

Stepped with my left foot.

I began to pick up speed and to pump my arms rhythmically.

Stepped with my right foot.

The crowd screamed and shouted as I started on the first curve.

Stepped with my left fo-

Suddenly, everything in my immediate vision started to move upward.

Tried to step with my right.

All of my forward momentum came to a shrieking halt and quickly got pulled down by gravity. The next thing I knew, the track was the only thing in my line of sight, followed by the immediate impact of my body hitting it.

I tripped, I fell, but the baton was still in my hand and it didn't touch the ground so I wasn't disqualified yet. I pushed my weight onto my right arm as I tried to lever myself up. I moved my left arm in front of me to keep me from falling over as I tried to push myself off the ground with my legs and resume my sprint.

When I pushed forward, I fell straight back to the ground. When I felt that I had fallen over again, I quickly realized why it happened: my left arm wasn't where it needed to be. In my mind, I saw my left arm move in front of me; in reality, it was just hanging limply by my side the whole time.

"Damnit, no!" I growled, with my face buried into the ground, as the other runners overtook me. They were too focused on the race, or felt too much animosity towards their rival, to notice me on the ground struggling to get up.

I tried to improvise a different way to get back on my feet without using my left arm. I'd finally managed to get off the ground and started to move forward, when I noticed one of my coaches in a panic yelling at me, "Keep moving, we're still in this!"

Stepped with my right foot.

I was moving! I could still make it!

Fell with my left foot.

I was back on the ground. That time my left leg failed to move as I had envisioned. It was strange, I didn't know what was happening. My body wasn't moving like I wanted it to and slowly the rest of my body was shutting down. My vision began to blur, my mind was losing focus, I couldn't feel, I couldn't hear, everything was fading to black. The last thing I remember seeing on that day, was the baton slowly rolling away from me. The most important race that season, my last great adventure, everything ended that day because my body failed me.

I failed everyone that day.


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Chapter Two: Fragments

All I can do now is just stare up at my ceiling. It's colored white as are the rest of the walls, but when devoid of any light, everything just look grey and formless to me. My memories of that day are painful to recall. It hurts just to think about them, about the disappointment and the failure. My eyes begin to water as I see the baton just roll away from me and my inability to reach out and grab it.

"Why did things turn out this way?" I ask aloud in this dark, foreign room. I'm the only one here, as it should be. No one would want to see me, in fact, no one ever did.

It becomes harder to remember those times. It might be because I was pumped full of so many drugs that I couldn't focus even if I wanted to. The more I think about it though, the more I realize that isn't the case. I can't remember much from the time I was in the hospital simply because I'm unable to.

My memories, as of late, are like a broken puzzle. They're all there but I can't make any sense of them until they're put in the correct order. Whenever I try to remember something, it appears in bits and pieces of something even larger.

Only memories that have had a huge impact on my life remained intact. I can remember a few of my early birthdays, the time I got my puppy, the time I confessed to a girl I had a crush on and how she rejected me right after. I still have most of the useless knowledge I learned in school.

I guess my teachers would be proud to hear that even after my life changing event I still remember how in 2021 the personal jetpack was released to the consumer market and recalled a month later.

I can remember my name, age and most of who I am without the aid of anyone else telling me. I can remember the important people in my life, namely my parents and older brother. Most of all, I can remember the accident that lead me where I am now. Everything else is just fragmented.

My hospital stay after my stroke is an example of my fragmented memory, I'm glad that memory is broken. From what I can recall, it was just a miserable affair that left me feeling bitter and depressed. I can't remember anything clearly but I can still put most of it together through random bits and pieces, unfortunately none of them good.

I remember waking up lost, confused, and being unable to move or even talk.

I remember seeing my mother in tears and my father completely silent.

I remember the doctor telling my family that I had just had a stroke and that it was unclear how bad the damage was.

I remember my brother looking down on me can calling me "worthless."

I remember being restrained, tied down in my bed because I was considered a threat to myself and others.

I remember the physical therapy, the speech lessons, and the doctor giving my parents a brochure to a school for the disabled, Yamaku.

I remember my mother breaking down saying "I'm sorry you were born."

I remember my father not being able to look at me and calling me a cripple.

I hate those memories and I hate the fact that those are the only things I can remember from that time.

It took almost a year, but I was back to normal, or normal enough so that my parents could get rid of me. Luckily, my stroke wasn't as bad as doctors initially thought. Through the physical therapy I was able to regain control over my body, with the exception of my left arm. It can still function normally but I can't do any precision work with it, not that I ever needed it. My speech is normal, though I do have the occasional stutter. My mental capabilities are another matter though.

While my thought processes have remained intact, my long-term memory seems to have suffered some damage. Put simply, the stroke jumbled all of my old memories. Everything before my leave from the hospital is left in a mess. The good news is that this shouldn't affect any new memories that I create afterwards. Through therapy and lots of time, my old memories should eventually return.

When I got out of the hospital, my parents had already had everything prepared for me to go to Yamaku. I was in the first few months of my second year in high school when I had my accident. My speech therapist thought it was a good idea to practice my speaking skills with the material that I was suppose to be learning in school at the time. It worked and kept me from falling behind and it also kept me from thinking about my miserable state.

Before I could begin my enrollment, the officials at the school had to make sure that my stroke hadn't left me mentally impaired. Apparently Yamaku doesn't accept students with mental disabilities. After a series of tests, the officials deemed me worthy of enrollment and I was to start a few weeks after the year started. I arrived on a Sunday morning, where I spent most of my time unpacking my stuff and keeping to myself in my dorm.

I've tried closing my eyes, but every time I do I keep seeing that damn baton roll away from me. I'm here at Yamaku and tomorrow is my first day, I can't sleep and all I see is just formless grey.

Nothing but formless grey.

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*Next Chapter*

I'll be updating periodically.I have a basic structure of how I want this story to pan out, it's just a matter of filling in the details. I'll add new chapters as soon as I have them ready. And of course criticism is welcomed.

Re: KS: Bloodline

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:44 am
by Dippeggs
Very nice! His family sounds like they're huge buttholes though, I hate people like that.

I look forward to reading the rest of your work!


Also, the only error I noticed was here.
atw_ah wrote:No one would want to see me, in fact, no ever did.

Re: KS: Bloodline

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:30 pm
by Ascended Flutist
The prose is fluid, the character is intriguing for now, the family are unmitigated jerks and I can see them fueling at least some conflicts. There isn't much else to talk about really, but since this is just the introduction, it's to be expected. You have me interested for at least another chapter.

Re: KS: Bloodline

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:46 am
by atw_ah
*Sigh* I told myself I wasn't going to do this so soon. I told myself that doing this might set up some precedent for all of my future works. But I can't help it! I was inspired in the middle of my class and I pulled out a notebook and fleshed out the next chapter! I'm going throughout my college carrying a notebook full of ideas for Bloodline. I'm embarrassed to admit that. Let me wallow in my shame as I present the next chapter.


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Act 1: The Paths we Follow

Chapter one: First Impressions

It's been a long time since I've had to wake up early in the morning. Even before I had my accident, I've always hated that incessant beeping my alarm would make. The very same one it's making right now.

I bring my fist down on my alarm in order to shut it off.

However, the beeping persists. Unconsciously, I used my left hand to shut off my alarm and it resulted in me missing the alarm by a few inches to the left.

Damn it, I can't even do this.

I sigh and lift my right hand to do what my left failed. I manage to shut off the alarm but now my whole upper body is hanging over the edge with very little balan-

"Ow!"

Yeah, face first into the ground. Luckily, my stroke hadn't left me with any facial deformities but repeatedly falling on my face isn't helping much.

I also notice that I haven't gotten much sleep because this position is starting to feel very comfortable.

I quickly get on my feet, grab my change of clothes and head to the shower across the hall. It's still pretty early in the morning so no one should be around to bother me in my morning routine.

The campus grounds are pretty much empty, save for a few students milling about. Most of them look like they're pretty normal. From the outside, you can't really tell that this is a school for the disabled, well, at least with the people I'm looking at.

Too bad it can't stay this way.

Yesterday, not even an hour after I had arrived, I saw a girl have a seizure out here on the field. She looked normal, cute even, but then that happened. The nursing staff was quick to respond though. A bunch of nurses came and took the girl somewhere else to rest. Seeing that girl on the ground was surreal and it crushed any optimism I may have had left.

I wonder if anyone has died here?

I pushed that thought out of my head as soon as it came in. I can't be thinking about that. After my stroke, my body became much weaker and the risk of me having another one has significantly increased. The next one might even kill me if I'm not careful.

What a depressing thought. I can't even go one day without thinking about how pitiful I am.

I've spent enough time loitering around. Time to get back to the task at hand. There's still half an hour before classes start so I should at least get familiar with the nursing staff. Who knows, they might save my life one day.

The school itself is pretty big. The buildings seem a bit too much though. They look like any other school building but with a certain extravagance that puts them over the top. It feels almost as if it's trying too hard to look like a normal school.

Try masking it however you want, I know your secret. You're nothing but a hospital in disguise.

The school officials had shown me all the places that I needed to know about, so finding the head nurse's office wasn't a hassle. They door is closed and I don't hear anyone inside, I knock anyways.

"Come in," says a muffled, male voice.

Weird, I don't remember having met a male nurse before. There weren't any at the hospital. I'll have to look into that later.

I open the door and slowly make my way in.

The office looks like what I'd expect a regular doctor's office would look like. Oddly enough, it shares similarities to my hospital and dorm room. It might be intentional, maybe to convince people that the stale, white walls will become their world from now on. A man sits at his desk, which is covered in paper work, as he reads a newspaper and drinks his morning coffee.

"Oh, I don't believe we've meet," the man states as he puts down his newspaper to address me. "You'll have to forgive me, I have a hard time remembering names of students that avoid visiting me when they need to." His face scowls at the mere thought of students disregarding their health.

"Uh, no. I'm actually a transfer student. Today's my first day and I thought I should familiarize myself with the people here."

"Transfer student?" His face grows pensive for a moment as he looks at his computer screen. "Ah, yes. Yaso Atoza, correct?"

I guess it's easy to figure out someone's name when he starts school later than everyone else.

"Yes, that's correct. Nice to meet you." I bow my head in a show of respect. It's worth noting that the man seems to be in his later years. The hairs on his head turn from a dark shade of amethyst to a light shade of silver. There are several wrinkles around the edges of his mouth and eyes. His body might be of an old man but his cheerful tone, facial expressions that often include a wink, and youthful spirit, suggest otherwise.

"It's good to meet you too, you can call me Nurse, as everyone else does. Well Mr. Atoza, it's kind of you take the initiative and introduce yourself," he grins slyly like fox. "It saves me the trouble of having to hunt you down."

I don't reply to this. I've never gotten along well with doctors or nurses. My stay at the hospital was no exception, at least the parts I remember weren't.

"From your record, you've recently had a stroke that inhibited your movement for quite some time." Apparently he had my record on hand since now he has it opened on his desk.

Recently isn't exactly the word I would use. It's been almost a year.

"You've seemed to recover most of your motor functions," he stops for a moment to read further into my record. "How's your left arm treating you?"

"It's fine, I can't really make a fist with my left hand but I don't think I'll need to."

For some reason, Nurse seems to be taken aback from my comment. His face seems surprised as he writes something down. He quickly changes his expression to a more serious one.

"Is something the matter?" I ask.

"Your record also states that you have the tendency to stutter in you speech from time to time." He's obviously avoiding my question.

I know you heard me. Don't try to change the subject.

I remain silent for a moment. I'm torn between whether or not to follow up on my previous question. I decide against it after a glance at the clock on the wall reveals that I'm running short on time.

"Yes, but the stuttering only occurs when I'm stressed or nervous. When I'm calm and relaxed, I can speak normally."

Nurse stands from his desk and reaches for his stethoscope but quickly draws his hand back. "I would like to do a quick check-up to see how your health is at this point, but I don't want you to be late for you first day of class." He looks at his schedule to make sure that he doesn't have any prior engagements. "Ok, come back at the end of the day and we'll have that check-up. It'll be quick so it shouldn't be much of a bother. How's that sound?"

The sole reason for me coming here was to get a check up to make sure I don't die on my first day. This is the first time in a long time that I'm not constantly being examined by a doctor.

I want to say something about it but I find it hard to bring it up. "Uh, y-yeah. That s-should be fine."

Nurse makes that biggest smile you can imagine on someone's face. "Come now, there's no need to be nervous. I understand it's your first day here, but no one is going to bite you. Just take it easy and everything will be fine. That is to say if you don't do anything rash. I remember there was a boy who-" He stops himself before he says anything else.

"Never mind, I can't tell you that. He'll be embarrassed if one of his students found out that did that." He winks with that last line. "You'd better run along if you don't want to be late, first impressions and all that."

"Oh right, t-thank you." I quickly go out the door and head for class 3-3.

I wonder what he meant when he said one of his students?


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*Next Chapter*

Thank you to everyone who is reading my work. I'm not normally comfortable with letting people read something I've written so what you guys have said has had a big impact on my confidence. The next chapter will be up when it's ready and it's not going to be tomorrow.

At least I hope it isn't...

Re: KS: Bloodline

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 6:36 am
by Mirage_GSM
Interesting.
I just hope you can resist the temptation to have every single KS character somehow working at Yamaku now...

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1: Chapter Two 5/11/12)

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 6:11 pm
by atw_ah
Hooray! I fought the urge to write this during the week! Anyways, I don't have much to say here this time except that this chapter hints to why I named my story Bloodline. Enjoy!

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Chapter Two: Take Your Lessons To Heart

The visit to the nursing office took longer than I thought it would. The bell rang a little while ago and I just now made it to class.

Well, I'm not exactly in class yet, I'm standing outside with my hand on the door handle.

This is it. My final moments before I relinquish my last chances at a normal life. I guess I really am doomed to be a cripple. It's a haunting thought, but my own father called me one too.

There's no helping it now. It's time to take the first step into my new life.

I turn the handle and step into the class. Immediately, I can feel the gaze of almost two dozen pairs of eyes turn to me.

Surely, I'm not that strange of a specimen. I'm a little on the tall side, being able to speak eye-to-eye with most people my age. My hair is jet-black and wavy when longer but I never let it grow past half of my forehead because then it gets messy. I am a few shades tanner than you'd find on most people but not enough for me to be able to say that I'm foreign. My eyes, though full of disappointment at the moment, are a dark shade of brown. I have average looks, if I remember the rumor-mill from my old school correctly. The only thing that may put off some people is that my left hand is almost always in a half-clenched position, a lingering effect of my stroke. I'm a still a little sensitive about that fact so I tend to keep my hand in my pocket or behind my back, whichever one seems more appropriate at the time.

I don't know what to do. It doesn't seem like I interrupted a lesson, in fact, the teacher is sitting at his desk working on something. He doesn't even seem to have noticed my entrance.

He's a short, portly man who seems more interested on his own book than teaching the class in front of him. There are small white hairs on his head that surround one particular large bold spot. He turns his gaze to me as I walk up to him.

"What do you want?" he says in a gruff, harsh, almost bitter voice. "I thought I told all of you to sit down and read."

"I-I'm the new, t-transfer student, s-so I don't kn-"

He cuts me off before I finish talking by raising his hand in the air to signify that he wants me quiet.

How is this guy even a teacher. He's too rude and impatience to be able to teach. I don't like him.

"So this is your first day I take it? Fine then, you have an excuse to be talking to be, this time," he snarls. He puts down his book, which I now notice to be a book full of Sudoku puzzles, to stand up and point me to the nearest empty desk.

"You can take that empty desk over there. I don't think anyone is using it." He looks around the class to confirm his assumption with other students, while they just nod their heads to answer him.

"Don't I h-have to introduce myself?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm just filling in for your teacher until he gets here. Apparently the scatterbrained science teacher's car had some issues so he's running late today." As he says this, I can feel the air around him get heavy, he must not like him very much. "You can do your introduction when he gets here. For now just sit at your desk and keep quiet," he almost yells as he sits back down to continue his puzzles.

Thank you God for having this grumpy old man not be my teacher for the rest of the year.

As I make my way to my newly, appointed desk, I look around at the other students. At a first glance, most of them appear to be normal. However, if you take your time to look at each of them you can notice that some of them have missing limbs, some wear bandages over their bodies, one girl even has an eye patch.

Luckily for me, my desk is near the back and next to a window and the girl next to me doesn't seem to have any physical ailments. She sits up, with her back straight in a calm, disciplined manner. She has straight, short, raven colored hair with a hair pin holding back her bangs from falling in her face. Her eyes are a deep blue and have a determined, analytical look to them. In fact, they're look straight at me, following my every movement even as I take a seat in the desk next to hers.

Well this isn't so bad. At the very least I sitting next to a cute girl, but why is she looking at me? She's just staring at everything I do.

It's a little nerve racking to have this girl just staring at me. Does she want something? I would try to talk to her but I'm pretty sure the old man would yell at me for making a sound. As I look in her direction, I notice some a movement in front of her. Her hands are moving making strange shapes and symbols.

Sign language? Oh isn't that just great! The one cute girl I sit next to ends up being deaf. Just great.

Naturally, disappointment starts crawling its way back into my mind at this revelation. The girl, oblivious to my mood, continues to sign. He face begins to show a little annoyance probably because she expects an immediate reply.

I don't know any sign language. What does she want from me?

I doubt the girl has enough patience to wait for me to pull out a notepad and write something to her so I decide to try my hand at improvised sign language. I move my hands, focusing on using my right had to do most of the actions, to try to ask her a question.

<Why are you looking at me?> I hope I say as I point to her eyes and back to me.

Her face suddenly brightens up and she starts signing something else at a faster rate.

Yeah, that wasn't the best idea. Now she has it in her mind that I can use at least some form of sign language.

I sigh, put my head down and shrug, hopefully conveying that I don't know how to sign. This action of mine is rewarded with a giggle. As I look up, I seen the girl next to me holding her hand up to her mouth and her shoulders moving up and down. What I also notice is that the door to the classroom opens and in walks a man with messy brown hair. The man, noticeably younger than the one sitting at the desk in front, is in a suit and is panting slightly.

"Mr. Koga, thank you for watching my class. Sorry for the inconvenience," the suited man says as he tries to catch his breath.

"Next time make sure your car is working before you try to make it to class. I'm still surprised someone like you managed to get a degree," Koga says as he collects his things and heads towards the door. "Oh, you also have a new transfer student in today. So you might want to get started with that before anything else."

As Koga departs, the teacher stands at his desk with his hand over his heart while he breathes deeply.

How could he be this tired. It's not that far from the staff parking lot. Even running here shouldn't be that bad.

While the teacher is in front trying to regain his composure, the students are still reading their books or doing other things to pass the time, except for one. The girl next to me has a concerned look on her face as she stares at the man. Eventually the man stands up straight and notices the girl's look of concern. He nods slightly in her direction and the girl calms down.

"I'm sorry for being so late today. I had car troubles this morning so Mr. Koga had to step in for me until I got here. I'm sure you all enjoyed his cheerful attitude." A few giggles and dry chuckles can be heard from the class.

"I see we have a new student in today. So how about it, would you like to introduce yourself?"

I don't have much to say about myself. I could talk about my interests but I'm too sure what I used to do before I ran track. I could just make something up, it's not like anyone here is going to fact check me.

"Y-yes, I would like to introduce myself." I stand and head to the front of the class. I clear my throat as I prepare for my introduction.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Yaso Atoza. I'm 18 and I enjoy spending most of my time outside enjoying nature. I enjoy playing all kinds of sports and can be quite good at them when I'm focused. I hope we can get along in our last year here."

Okay, I was more honest than I wanted to be but it's better not to have too much attention.

I make my way back to my desk. As I sit down, the girl next to me watches me with a devious grin on her face.

"Well thank you for that introduction, Mr. Atoza. I guess it's my turn to introduce myself to you. I'm Nakai, Hisao Nakai and I'm going to be your homeroom and science teacher. Welcome to Yamaku Academy, I'm sure you'll be able to find your place here soon," he smiles as he says this. I can't help but feel that he genuinely meant what he said.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. Nakai spends the majority of the time reviewing everything from the last few weeks for my benefit. The other students don't mind it, this stuff is fairly involved so going over it again is helpful. Before I know it the bell rings, signifying it's time for lunch.

As the students begin making their way out of the class, I stay behind and slowly put stuff away in my book bag.

So far everything here seems like a normal school. The lessons are something that you'd find at a private school, they're difficult but doable. Nakai seems like a good guy too, he took all of today's time making sure that I don't fall behind. I guess I can get comfortable here.

My thoughts are interrupted when the deaf girl that sits next to me walks up to my desk. I just put my notepad away so I slowly reach into my bag to pull it out again.

Suddenly her hand falls on my desk, her other hand is making a thumbs up sign pointed towards me.

"Congratulations! You have qualified to be one of the lucky few to be chosen to join the Student Council!" I guess my assumption that she was deaf was way off considering that she's cheerfully yelling at me.

"S-student Council?" I'll admit I'm a little nervous at the fact that a complete stranger is trying to rope me into something. A cute stranger, but a stranger none-the-less.

"Wahahaha~! That's right student council! You should totally join! You have shown that you aren't afraid to take on new challenges as you tried to sign back to me and you weren't nervous with your introduction!"

She's way too cheerful. And what's with that Wahahaha?

"Who a-are you and why d-do you want me to join?"

"Oh? Right~! I forgot to introduce myself!" She coughs into her hand to settle herself down. She then looks at me intently. "My name is Kamiko Hakamichi and it's nice to meet you Yaso Atoza."

"Kamiko!" As we both turn our heads, Nakai stands up from his desk and is looks in our direction. "You know better than that! You shouldn't force someone into Student Council on their first day." The way he's scolding her makes it seem as if she's done this before.

"But Mr. Nakai..." she tries to put on a puppy dog face as an attempt to appeal to Nakai.

"Kamiko, just go to lunch and leave Yaso alone for today."

She puffs her face at this and begins to pout but then makes her way towards the door.

"I swear that girl has spent too time with Misha."

"M-misha?" I'm still extremely confused at this point and I can't really make much sense of my thoughts.

Nakai looks at me for a second and sighs. "Don't worry about it Yaso, just go enjoy your lunch. Go before all the good food is gone." He leads me towards the door where we both step out and go our separate ways.

I don't know what to think of this school yet.

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*Next Chapter*

There might be another release this weekend, no guarantees though.

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Two 4/11/12)

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:54 pm
by Guest90206
I heartily approve of this.




Proceeeeeeeed!

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Two 4/11/12)

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 2:29 am
by Dippeggs
I knew it was in the future but I didn't know it was that far. Is the year 2025 or more?

Please tell me there's hoverchairs!

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Two 4/11/12)

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 4:34 pm
by atw_ah
Dippeggs wrote:I knew it was in the future but I didn't know it was that far. Is the year 2025 or more?
At the very least, this takes place 24 years after the events of KS. 4 years for university, 2 years for marriage and starting new lives as adults, and 18 years for the raising of children. So that puts the original cast in their early 40s.

I'm not really sure what year the game took place in, I've read somewhere that it was 2007. It was never made clear. So I just assumed that KS took place in 2012, which makes Bloodline take place in 2036.
Dippeggs wrote:Please tell me there's hoverchairs!
Sadly, there are no hoverchairs. Science and technology wouldn't have changed so much in those 24 years. There are still many advances but none too far-fetched.

You did however, remind that I overlooked new technology when I thought of this story.

I thank you for that. I might incorporate that sometime in the future.

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Two 4/11/12)

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 4:10 pm
by griffon8
I am enjoying this. It was interesting trying to figure out who the character was from the first chapter, but until the meeting with Nurse, I couldn't even tell what gender your protagonist was.

Anyway, KS does take place in 2007. Lilly gives a date of Friday, June 8th at one point in Act 1, and 2007 is the last time that existed. Oddly, this year is the next time it will happen, but KS definitely does not happen in 2012.

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Three 5/18/12)

Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 12:02 am
by atw_ah
All right! I'm finally out of classes!
Since it's the summer I'll have more free time. More free time= more chapters being released.
At the very least it'll be one chapter a week and when I can I'll release more.
I'll say more later so enjoy!

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Chapter Three: Draft Dodging

The rush to the cafeteria is just as you'd expect from any other school. It's just a giant mob of people that rush to get their lunches. I noticed that not everyone from my class is here. They must have brought their own lunches and have gone somewhere quiet to eat. Unfortunately I don't have that luxury since I didn't have enough time this morning to make something. Also, I don't really know where a good place to eat would be.

I grab a rather bland looking lunch and head for an empty table. Most people sit with their own group of friends, enjoy conversations, and laugh at jokes that wouldn't make sense to anyone else. I, however, sit alone with no one to talk to.

I don't mind it. I've never been too sociable. At my old school, I would eat my lunch underneath a tree that was quite a bit away from the main school building. It was far enough so that people wouldn't bother me but close enough so that I wouldn't attract any unneeded attention. Much like I did back then, I just eat my lunch quietly and let my mind wander while I enjoy a moment of peace.

This school isn't what I expected. I thought that there would be doctors and nurses around every corner, watching our every move. I thought this would be more like a prison with none of us being able to do anything unless we had permission from the person with the highest authority. If you ignore the fact that these people are disabled in some way or another, it would seem almost normal.

Normal.

Why does that word seem so strange to me now? Has it finally sunk in that I won't be able to return to my old life? Not only have I physically left what I considered my world, have I also begun to think myself no longer a part of it?

What a sad, miserable state of affairs.

I'm so distracted by my thoughts that I don't notice my over-enthusiastic classmate take a seat in front of me. With a loud thump, she slams down her lunch on the table in order to snap me out of my reverie.

"Wahahaha~! Did you really think that I'd let you get away so easily?"

It's hard to pretend to ignore her when that laugh is so ear-piercing.

She furrows her brow when she notices that I haven't acknowledged her presence yet.

"Hey! It's rude to not answer someone when they're talking to you!" She is visibly getting upset as she leans towards me with her cheeks puffed. She begins snapping her fingers in front of my eyes to get my attention.

At this point, her contradicting outward appearance and behavior don't surprise me as much as they did when we first spoke. "What do you need Hakamichi?"

"Oh, so you are awake, good! But you don't need to be so formal. Just call me Kamiko."

I wave my hand in front of me to dismiss her request. "Sorry but I'd rather call you Hakamichi. I've never been comfortable calling people by their first names."

Surprised by my response, she takes a moment to ponder my answer. After making up her mind she nods and continues which her train of thought. "Anyways~! Have you given much thought about my proposition?"

Proposition? If I remember correctly, she was just yelling at me demanding I join the Student Council. Where was the offer? All I saw was an order.

"Didn't Mr. Nakai tell you not to bother me about that today."

"Nakai? Forget him! What he doesn't know won't hurt him!"

I thought the Student Council was suppose to be the model which other students should follow. What kind of example is she setting by disobeying what a teacher told her.

I'm not too keen about the idea of joining the Student Council on my first day but I'll admit I am curious about what they do.

"So why are you so interested in me joining the Student Council? You don't even know who I am."

"True, but I know enough about you to see that you'll fit perfectly with us."

"Who's us?"

"Wahahaha~! The rest to the Student Council of course!" She puts her hands on her hips and a huge, toothy grin forms across her face. She must really think highly of the Student Council since she seems the most cheerful whenever she mentions it.

Without even waiting for me to ask another question she begins her explanation. "You see Yaso, the Student Council is always busy with work around the clock. We organize many of the activities that occur throughout the year and help whenever there are conflicts among the clubs. Luckily, this year we have about nine members but it'll be better if we had more to ease our burden."

The way see talks about it makes it seem as if every moment of the day is filled with some job or another. It isn't doing much to persuade me, in fact it's having the opposite effect.

"If you guys are so busy every day, why are you spending your time here and not working?"

"I am working!" She almost jumps out of her seat with that statement. "As Class President, it's my duty to make sure the Student Council is able to complete all of its duties in a timely manner. Be it by actually working with everyone else or by getting a new member. At the end of the day it helps us do our job."

"That's assuming that I join the Student Council and so far-"

"You are joining!" She leans in close to prevent me from saying otherwise. "And I won't take 'no' for an answer!"

It's obvious that Hakamichi won't budge from her decision of me joining the Student Council. I just need to change the subject and hopefully she'll follow.

"Hey, did you find it strange that Mr. Nakai seemed so tired when he got to class." Not the smoothest of topic changes but it was the only thing I could think of.

Her cheery attitude suddenly disappears and she shows a worried expression.

Nice going! I've managed to make a girl sad. Yep, looks like I'll be branded as an asshole at this school.

"H-hey, I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean to say something bad. I just thought it was strange."

Hakamichi doesn't look me in the eyes, preferring to keep her sights on her lunch in front of her.

"So you noticed it too? Nakai has..." She can't seem to find the right words to say and begins playing with her food.

"N-no. You don't have to explain anything y-you aren't comfortable with."

There has to be some way to cheer this girl up.

"J-just ignore what I said. What were we talking about again? The S-student Council right? You know, I-I think I might join."

Hakamichi's head moves slightly at my words.

"Do... you mean it?" She speaks in a low whisper that is almost hidden by the sound of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, I mean I'm not-"

Suddenly her mood shifts from depression to absolute bliss. "Great! So that means you joining right!"

That was a surprisingly fast rebound.

"Wait, I said I was thinking about it," I quickly answer before she gets any ideas.

"Come on, Yaso! You can't make a cute girl sad and then not do what she wants!"

...

You can't be serious?

I frown when I realize what she just tried to do. By Hakamichi's stunned expression, I can tell that she said that without thinking.

"That was an act, wasn't it!? You tried to trick me by making me feel guilty!" I'm offended and also ashamed that I almost fell for it.

"Ok, fine. It was an act. But you're tried to make me feel better by sacrificing your own desires. You're perfect for the Student Council!"

"Sneaky, underhanded, manipulative, corrupt Class President. Is that how you got eight people to join? It's just a giant conspiracy waiting to be exposed, some kind of Feminist Conspiracy!"

"It's not a conspiracy! Where did you get that crazy idea from?" Her face is a mixture of confusion and curiosity. Probably a little anger in there too.

"It fits the description of perfectly."

Back before my accident, one of my adventures was to find and expose mass conspiracies to the world. Obviously, I didn't find anything real but I was inspired to try because of a book that I bought on a whim.

Strange, why did I suddenly remember that?

Hakamichi looks ready to defend her recruitment methods when the bell rings. "Fine then! We'll save this for another time. But don't think you're off the hook."

She stands up and glares at me for a moment before walking off. I sigh a breath of relief and start making my way back to class.

Something tells me this won't be the only conversation I have about joining the Student Council.

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*Next Chapter*

It has come to my attention that the original story took place in 2007. Since Bloodline takes place 24 years later, the year would be 2031. It doesn't make much of a difference but I guess it's worth noting.
Anyways, criticism is welcome and a new chapter will be coming up soon.

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Three 5/18/12)

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 1:51 pm
by Ascended Flutist
This is definitely intriguing, though there is still little to comment on at this point. I'm enjoying it so far, looking forward for more. :)

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Four 5/23/12)

Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 2:57 am
by atw_ah
Hey guys, sorry that this chapter took so long. Life, crappy internet, and hardware failures made me put this story on the back burner for this week. I wanted this come out earlier but there's nothing I can do about that now. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter.

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Chapter Four: Snake in the Grass

It's cold. Darkness surrounds me. I can't see, I can't move.

Fear. It's all I know, it's the only thing I can focus on.

Help me please. I don't want to be here. I don't know where I am.

"He had a stroke..." A muffled voice is the only thing that breaks the cold, bitter silence.

Who's voice that? Why does it sound so familiar, so sad?

"What can we do, there has to be something..." Another voice comes from the darkness, it belongs to a woman. She's crying, she's my-

Mother? Where are you? Why can't I do anything? Please help me!

I can feel tears make their way down my face as the two voices mix into a cacophony that I can't make any sense of.

Someone please listen to me.

The two voices become still when a third voice enters the conversation. His voice, deeper than the first, remains calm as he delivers his message.

"At this point, there is no telling how extensive the damages are..." His voice trails off as the first voice speaks up, anger now replacing the despair that was once there.

"Can't you tell us how my son doing!?"

Father? Is that you? Please help me! I don't want to be here. Get me out of here!

Another cacophony, this time louder and harsher than before.

It hurts, please someone, get me out.

Suddenly every sound is halted by a loud thud.

What is that? Where is it coming from?

Another thud, quickly followed by another. It continues without stopping. It grows louder and louder until-

"Gyah!" With a quick jolt, I sit up out of my sheets, awakened from my nightmare.

I quickly survey my surroundings to find out where I am.

My room? That's right, my dorm. I'm in Yamaku. It was just a dream.

I rest my head pillow once again. Upon contact, I realize that my pillow is wet.

Sweat? Just what was that nightmare?

As soon as I relax, I hear a series of loud thuds coming from the outside of my room. Someone is pounding on my door.

Who's knocking at my door this early? Classes don't start for another two hours. I'm not even close enough to anyone for them to want to see me in the morning.

Normally, the new student would stay after class on the first day of school just to meet everyone and get acquainted. I, however, decided to leave as soon as the last bell rang and head to my dorm. I didn't feel the need to be introduced to anyone and I didn't want to be bothered by Hakamichi again.

Oh you've got to be kidding me! Seriously Hakamichi? She's the only one that I can imagine to have a reason to wake me up. Is she really that motivated to make me join the Student Council?

I get out of bed, put on a shirt, and decide to give Hakamichi an earful about waking me up early for some stupid argument we can have later.

Hakamichi isn't that tall. All I have to do is stare her straight in the eyes, look as threatening and as big as possible, and explain to her why it's wrong to wake me up early.

I open my door with my eyes fixed at the position I expect Hakamichi's eyes to be. When the door swings open, I glare at her with a fury that is only just barely being held back. I play my part just as planned, the only problem is that Hakamichi isn't there.

In fact, I'm glaring at the chest of another guy.

This guy is already in full uniform. He has straight silver hair that is combed back to an almost professional businessman-like appearance. His eyes are a dark gray as they hide behind a small pair of glasses. He is taller than me so it takes a little while until I move my gaze from his chest to his eyes.

He stands there, neither surprised by my odd reaction to his appearance nor lost, which leads me to believe that he has some business with me.

"May I help you?" I ask, while trying to hide my relief that Hakamichi wasn't at my door.

He doesn't say anything. He just stands there looking at me, his eyes are analyzing me, judging my worth. His eyes linger on my half-clenched left hand. I instinctively put it behind my back and he continues his analysis.

"You're Yaso Atoza, correct?" he asks flatly, seemingly not impressed by my appearance.

"Yeah, and who are you exactly?"

He lifts his hand a points to the door behind him. "Ryo Hanamaru, I'm in the room across the hall."

Some people would take this as an opportunity to meet their neighbor. I won't. He woke me up early and I'm still a little peeved. "So why exactly are you here?"

He stares at me for a while before he responds. "I'm here on behalf of the Class President."

My right hand quickly finds its place on my forehead. "So let me guess, Hakamichi told you to come here, wake me up, and try to recruit me into the Student Council?"

"Hakamichi? You're meant to call her by her title. So refer to her by it." He steps forward in order to make his words have more impact.

Well isn't that just swell. Just what I need in the morning, some buffoon trying to threaten me.

"What, are you one of the people she conned into joining? How did she do it, did she start crying for you too?" I let my tone get harsher to make it obvious that I don't need this right now.

"You should show more respect to your superiors. I'm the Vice President and no, I joined because I wanted to."

"Vice President? So far you seem like her lap dog doing all of the work she puts off."

"The Class President always works hard for the good of the school," he seems more insulted by my remark about Hakamichi than being called a lap dog. "I don't see why she would need a worthless, sad excuse for a man like you!"

"Worthless!? You think I'm worthless!" I grab Hanamaru by his collar and pull him down so that we're eye-to-eye. "You have no right to call me that! You have no idea-"

Hanamaru grabs my wrist with an intense grip, forcing me to let go. Once free, he takes a step back to straighten his uniform. "It's against school policy to lash out violently towards other students. They should have a least told you that when you entered."

I've had enough of him.

I quickly step back into my room and begin stuffing my gym clothes into a bag. I walk out, lock the door, and go past an angry Hanamaru.

"Where do you think you're going, Atoza!? You can't just assault someone and then walk off!"

"It's not assault and leave me the hell alone! I'm going to the track to blow off some steam. Is that fine or is it against school policies?" I'm pretty sure my yelling has woken up some people on this floor but at this point I don't care.

Hanamaru remains silent. He is still fuming but welcomes the growing distance between us.

Day two and I'm already sick of this place.

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*Next Chapter*

To be honest, I had originally planned on this chapter not ending in a pissed off Yaso. As I was writing, it kinda turned out that way.
When I write, I imagine the scene playing out in my head and all I can do is just put in the ideas to start it and write down what happens. Sometimes it ends the way I want it, other times I get something like this. But that's not to say I don't like it.
The next chapter will come out this weekend, I might even release two if life doesn't get in the way again.
Once again criticism is welcome, it encourages me to write and makes me want to improve.

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Four 5/23/12)

Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 7:21 am
by Mirage_GSM
Looks like Shizune's Hakamichi's last hope of recruiting Yaso for the council just went down the drain...

Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 : Chapter Four 5/23/12)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:36 pm
by bronko
Yaso seems to be a tough guy. As far as I can see, he went trough some serious shit. He's persevering against Ryo and he doesn't let himself be ensnared by some random girl neither. It's Probably not an easy task for the Yamaku students to get close to him. Maybe he'll open up later. Two days aren't enough to get used to something like that.

I'm awaiting the next chapter with anticipation. Really some nice OCs you got yourself into.