KS: Bloodline (Act 2: Chapter Three 2/11)

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by atw_ah » Mon Aug 20, 2012 3:12 pm

It took a while, but it's finally here. The new and improved Chapter 12. I can finally say that I've complete the first act of Bloodline. You have no idea how this makes me feel. I'm so surprised that I've been so dedicated on working on my story. Usually when I get involved with things like this, I never see them through because I feel like no one wants me to continue. But every time that I start to doubt myself I would always read the posts that you guys made supporting me and encouraging me to continue. I thank you all for that and as a reward I present to you the end of Act 1.

Note: If you read the first version, you'll see that the beginning of this chapter draws a lot of ideas from it. But worry not, about halfway through the conversation with Toshiro, you'll start to see the difference.


Chapter Twelve: Family Bonds

I hate waking up late. Not only does it waste so much of your day, it also means that the things you are dreading will arrive that much sooner. Since I spent all of last night staring a hole into the ceiling imagining what could go wrong, I didn't manage to fall asleep until a couple hours before sunrise. Plus, to make matters worse, I slept through my alarm and didn't wake up until noon. A whole day wasted because I couldn't sleep, I hate it.

But there is one thing I hate more than waking up late when I don't want to and that's waiting for my older brother, who always manages to fail following the schedule he sets for himself. It's already two and I'm already sitting at a table in the Shanghai waiting for my brother to show himself.

I figured that my day would have become terrible after meeting with my brother, not before. That's just goes to show how much Toshiro Atoza gets on my nerves.

As children, we would always get along. We would play together and share just about everything we had. Being six years older than I am, our parents put a lot of pressure on him to live out the dreams they couldn't. He was raised to be the golden child of the family, while I was left to live however I wanted. I can still remember some nights when he and my mother would argue about his grades. He didn't mind it, he endured everything they threw at him. He considered it his brotherly duty to protect me from that.

Unfortunately, things didn't stay that way forever. As I grew older, our parents saw that I had more potential than my brother. My grades were better, my skills sharper, and my determination was boundless. After some time, they gave up on my brother and focused on me, I didn't have much say in the matter. Since I was less trouble than Toshiro, our parents didn't put such harsh restrictions on me. I didn't argue with them and they let me enjoy my life my way. It was a good system and everyone was a little happier.

He changed however, he became distant with me. The way that our parents just switched their ambitions over to me, made it seem like they disowned him. We never played after that. He became more rebellious toward our parents. He would spend nights arguing with my mother and father about how he wanted his life to be and how it wasn't fair that I got everything so easily. He considered himself a failure and he blamed me for it. He eventually left the house to live on his own.

He was still my older brother, and with all that it entails, we had to live with each other no matter what. I tried to get closer to him, but it would never work. As children we were very much alike, but as we grew older, we became opposites. Slowly, I starting giving up on our relationship and my brother just became some stranger who shared my last name.

Before I had my stroke, we made amends. We carefully tried to fix the bond we lost. He was still bitter about what my parents did but he tried his best not to show it. When we talked, we would avoid the vast amount of landmines that would set off an argument. It was tedious, but it worked. We became friends again, granted it was not the most stable to friendships but it still was one.

I can only imagine the effect my stroke had on my brother. We had made plans to go out and do something together for the first time in years. Everything came to a screeching halt after my accident and all the progress we had made was lost. The only time I can remember my brother visiting me was when he looked down on me and called me worthless. Those were the last words I remember him saying. When I got out of the hospital, my brother didn't speak to me and I never wanted to speak to him either.

He called me worthless when I was at the lowest point of my life. He came to visit me once, and the only thing he did was insult me. He might be my older brother but I see as nothing but scum. Nothing good will come from us meeting today.

"Excuse me sir, are you ready to order anything yet?" A waitress asks.

"Can I just have a glass of water? I'm still waiting for someone."

She nods her head and walks off. As she does, I take a look at the rest of the cafe. It isn't very modern looking. Compared to the other buildings that surround the area, this feel out of place.

While everything in the outside world moved forward and progressed, this place feels as if it hasn't changed in years. That's not to say that ambience is terrible. The booths are well maintained and there is nothing that looks visually unappealing. Many people speak in hushed tones and waitresses can be seen walking to and fro, taking orders, picking up places or talking with some of the customers. Generally, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, even the people that sit alone at the bar are seemingly happy. Maybe this mood will rub off on my brother and me.

Yeah, I don't think so.

I yawn quite loudly which attracts the attention of the patrons at another booth. They're adults who seem to be talking about some important business. Their eyes linger on me for a few moments until they see that I'm not very interesting and return to their discussion.

It feels like it's been forever but I'm glad that I finally have a chance to get out of my uniform and into my regular clothes. I'm pretty sure that if I had been wearing my Yamaku uniform, those businessmen would have looked at me much longer and would have tried to discover what's wrong with me. But as long as I keep my left hand out of sight, I'm just your average teenager in a dark jeans and a red t-shirt with the design of a shield over his heart.

I chuckle a bit at my own thoughts.

Average teenager.

What a funny way to think of myself. Average. It's been a while since I've used that word for myself.

The waitress returns and places a glass of water on the table. I thank her and take a long sip. I pull out my phone to take a look at the time.

2:30 pm.

I sigh and lean back in my chair and look out the window. It's actually really sunny and beautiful outside. The storm from a few days ago has finally completely past and it's left the sky calm and clear.

Damn it world. Why did you have to make today look so wonderful if it's just going to be full of shit?

I watch people walk by for a few minutes. It's actually pretty relaxing seeing everyone go by until I see someone I recognize. A man, tanner than most but not tan enough to be considered foreign, walks past the window and heads to the front door. I look over to this man and see his short, straight black hair, dark brown eyes, and short, black beard under his chin. He's basically an older version of me with the expectation that his hair never gets curly, he's a bit bulkier than I and his left hand isn't always in a half-clenched position. He's wearing a dark blue polo, brown khakis and stupid grin on his face. He's none other than my older brother, Toshiro Atoza

After a few seconds of talking with the hostess, he is directed to my booth. When he arrives, he takes a seat looks at me up and down. "Hey little brother!" He's overly eager with me. His cheerful attitude sounds fake and forced.

Ugh, just hearing his voice is giving me a headache.

After a bit of silence on my part, I answer. "Hello Toshiro. What took you so long to get here?" Granted my tone isn't very exciting, but it's hard to act that way after he had me waiting for so long.

His smile falters a bit as he starts to scratch his chin. "Well, there was some traffic getting here and I couldn't find the cafe."

"You could have called. I'm somewhat familiar with this area."

"But where's the fun in that? Besides, it makes it easier for me to come here next time."

"Next time?" I say in a surprised, yet quiet tone.

"Yeah. I'll visit every week. Or maybe every other week. I don't want to bother you too much."

I start rubbing my temples. My headache is really starting to act up.

Toshiro looks around for a bit before addressing me. "Have you ordered anything yet?"

I shake my head and point to the menu that stands in the middle of the table. He grabs hold of it and directs all of his attention to it. I do the same with mine, but hold it up to the point where it blocks my vision of him. "This my first time coming here, so I'm not sure what to expect. It must be good though, considering that many students from Yamaku come here."

Toshiro remains quiet for a few moments, I can hear him rubbing his arm. "How's school?" His voice sounds nervous and it's obvious to me why.

This is one of the many landmines that we used to avoid when we talked before. School and grades were one of the many things that drove us apart. "It's not like you to ask about how I'm doing in my classes."

"I'm not asking about that. I know you do well in you classes, you always do." He mumbles that last part. "I want to know about your school. Are all the students there... you know?"

I set down my menu to look at him. "Are they what?"

He hesitates and tries to avoid eye contact. "You know, are they all disabled?"

"It doesn't matter. A person's disability doesn't define who they are or what their worth is."

He jumps a little and his grip on the menu tightens. He knows what I'm referring to, I'm sure of it.

A waitress comes and asks if we're ready to order. We both say yes and place our orders. He orders coffee and a turkey sandwich. I order green tea and a tuna sandwich. When she takes our menus and walks off, Toshiro turns to me. "So you do like tea. I didn't know that."

"I met someone who introduced me to it." I hesitate a bit at the thought of Midori Kagami.

"So you're making friends. That's good. You were always a bit of a loner. I was worried that you might have had a problem with other people."

"Why would that worry you?" I ask.

"I understand what it's like to have your life suddenly change. It's difficult but it becomes easier if you have friends by your side. Trust me on that one." He looks past me and stares out the window.

There was a time when he wouldn't talk to the family. It makes sense that he'd find solace with his friends. But I don't appreciate him comparing his life to mine. My stroke and his falling out aren't on the same level. He caused his problem; I never asked for mine.

We don't speak again until the waitress returns with our food. I have to admit, even with the place packed, the service is very fast. The waitress sets down my tea in front of me and as I thank her, Toshiro grabs it and moves it to my other side.

"What are you doing?" I ask once the waitress leaves.

"I'm making sure you can grab it with you good hand."

"I can grab it just fine." To prove my point, I reach for my cup with my left hand. I take a sip and put my cup down with a bit of force that rattles the table.

Toshiro watches me in silence as I perform this action. He doesn't say a word and just eats his food.

The awkwardness only grows as we start eating. Neither of us can think of anything to say and my little act of defiance didn't help start any new lines of conversation.

With our plates cleared, I try to start a conversation. "Have you talked to Mom and Dad lately?"

He fidgets a bit in his seat. "A little. They've been really busy, so they didn't have time to visit you. They're still worried though. Your accident really did a number on them."

"How so?"

"Mom was a little hysterical at first and Dad, well you know how he is. He just tried to keep his mind occupied on other things."

I take a sip of my tea. "What about you?"

"I was honestly surprised. You were always the lucky one, so I didn't know what to think about what happened to you."

I furrow my brow. Lucky? He thinks I'm lucky? Yeah, it takes luck to have a stroke.

"Don't be surprised if they don't call you anytime soon. It's what they do."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask.

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything by it." He waves his hand in front of his face to dismiss the notion.

There he goes again. He's comparing my life to his. We're nothing alike! Just stop doing that!

I can feel a pit growing in my stomach. The more I talk to him the more painful it becomes. It's making my head hurt and my heart rate is increasing. My breathing is becoming sporadic.

"Yaso? Are you all right?" He gets out of his seat and put his hand on my shoulder.

When I see his face, I am suddenly remind of that day in the hospital. The image is so clear, so vivid. It's almost as I'm there right now. I can see him standing at the edge of my bed. He's looking down on me and talking. He's words are mumbled but there is one word that's loud and clear. Only one: worthless.

I slap his hand away. "Don't touch me!"

"What's wrong with you?"

"S-shut up! Just stop talking."

My head is killing me. Try as I might to calm myself down, it isn't working. I keep seeing that image in my head. I keep hearing him say that word time and time again. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless!

"Yaso?" Once again he talks to me.

The pit in my stomach is unbearable, I just want to scream at him. But I can't. I have to keep it under control. I can't make a scene here. "Leave. Just go a-away!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't need you here! I don't WANT you here! Leave me alone!"

The can feel the gazes of the other patrons turn in our direction. It's no surprise that they're looking at us, I'm here practically shouting at my brother.

Toshiro gets out of his seat and places enough money to cover both of our meals on the table. "I don't know what's gotten into you. When you've calmed down, call me okay?"

I wordlessly nod my head and he leaves.

My head still hurts. I ask for another cup of tea in hopes that it'll help me calm down.

Just what was that? Why did my head hurt so much? Why did that image seem so real?

I close my eyes and rub my temples to help alleviate the headache. I hear a waitress come by and place a new cup of tea in front of me. She quickly cleans up the rest of the table and leaves. For some reason, however, it feels like she's still here.

I open my eyes to see where the waitress is but I don't see her. Who I do see is a face that I've only seen once before. Straight, long brown hair, mismatched eyes, one brown and the other blue. She's dressed in a violet v-neck blouse with a white shirt underneath and light grey, form-fitting pants.

The mysterious girl who no one knows anything about, Midori Kagami, stands next to me. "What a-are you doing here?"

She keeps her eyes downcast and avoids making eye contact. "The rest of the cafe is full and you were the only person that I recognized. So I was wondering, will you let me join you for a bit?"

I take a look around that cafe and notice that there are still a few open seats by the bar. "Go right ahead, I don't mind."

She nods slightly and takes the seat across from me. "Thank you. I was actually going to meet someone else here but-"

"If you want me to leave, you can just tell me outright." I bitterly interject.

"No, you don't have to go!" she hastily replies. "I don't have a right to kick you out. You were here first."

I sigh. "It's all right, I was just getting ready to leave. It's been a long day."

"Does it have to do with the person that just left?"

I flinch. It's bad enough that I made a scene, but to have someone I know witness it is worse. My stomach feels like it's in a knot and my head hurts even more at the thought of it.

I don't respond. She takes my silence as an opportunity to give a waitress her order. She only orders a cup of French Vanilla Tea. When she turns her attention back to me, she brings her hands together in front of her. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry, but it just seemed like he bothering you."

"He was family."

She raises her eyebrows at my word choice.

"I haven't been getting along with my family lately."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but what happened?"

I take a sip from my tea. "It's a long story."

She offers a small smile. "I don't mind listening."

I let out a dry chuckle as I take another sip. Satisfied with the taste, I slowly put the teacup back down on the table. My hand slips however, which results in the contents being spilled on the table. As the puddle of tea moves along the surface, it slowly makes its way to the edge and it falls on my pants. "Ow!" I shout as the liquid burns me

Why does it feel like I've done this before?

She quickly grabs some napkins and begins soaking up the tea that spilled. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm all right. The tea wasn't too hot."

As we clean up the mess, a waitress come by with more napkins and offers me a new cup of tea. It doesn't take long to clean up the spilt tea. By the time we finish, I start to remember why this felt familiar. It was just like that dream I had.

Too bad reality didn't follow the same path.

"What a shame." I whisper.


"No, it was nothing." I say as I wave my hand in front of my face.

Midori pushes the used napkins aside and faces me. "So you were telling me about your family."

I don't see the need to talk about my family anymore, but she seem genuinely interested. There's also a familiar yet comforting air about her.

"Right," I mumble as I rub the back of my neck. "Let's just say that after my accident, my family just started to treat me differently. I was supposed to be the one that would live out his dreams and live life to the fullest. But after what happened, it just didn't seem possible anymore."

She tilts her head to the side. "That's why you came to Yamaku isn't it? To learn how to cope with what happened to you."

"They don't see it the same way. I know that Yamaku is supposed to be a place to help people like us but sometimes I think that my parents just sent me here to get rid of me. Out of sight, out of mind as they say."

She reflects on my words for a few moments. "I don't believe anyone would do that. The school might be hidden away but that doesn't mean that we're what society doesn't what to worry about."

I scoff at her claim. "You don't know my parents. My father called me a cripple and my mother was sorry I was ever born. My brother only visited me once and when he did, he called me worthless."

I can feel my head hurt again. The pit in my stomach returns as I recall my stay at the hospital. It's a painful memory that should be hidden away, not talked about openly to someone I don't even know.

Midori grips at the golden chain around her neck. "Do you hate your family?"

I pause. I've never really thought about it before. I mean, it's justifiable if I do, right?

"I don't know." I flatly state.

Midori stares at me for a few moments. Her grip on the golden chain only tightens. I can't tell what's attached to it, her hand is covering it up. "Yaso, can you keep a secret?"

I look at her and furrow my brow. "What is it?"

"Since you told me about your family. It's only fair I tell something in return."

"What are you talking about?"

She opens and closes her mouth several times as if she wants to speak. She take one deep breath after another trying to form her sentence but nothing comes out. After about her fifth breath, she finally manages to say something. "It's about me and Nakai."

What? Does she want to tell me about her improper relationship right now? I told her about my family, something personal, and she thinks that it's fair, equal, to tell me something like that!

No! I don't want to hear it!

She begins speaking again. "I know there are rumors about me and I thought it's only fair to tell you-"

"Just stop." She looks surprised as I interrupt her. "You might think that it's the right thing to do, to tell me something like that after I told you about my family, but it's not. I don't want to hear it."


"No, I already know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it. It's obvious, so painfully obvious that even the new guy who's only been here for a week knows about it." My tone is harsh and bitter. "I don't want to know anything, okay? Nothing!"

I already have enough to deal with. I don't want to be considered some accessory to a crime just because I knew what was going on and didn't say anything. I don't need that.

A hurt expression crosses her face and she looks down on the table. "Oh. I understand." She whispers in an almost inaudible level.

I stand up from the table. I pull out my wallet and leave enough money for my tea.

"Where are you going?" She asks without even looking at me.

"I think Ryo was right about you. You are trouble." I start to walk off. "Good bye, Kagami."

Before I exit the building I turn back to where she sits. She's shaking and her hands still are wrapped around her necklace.

I think it's better if we never talk again. It'll be easier this way.

I turn back towards the door and walk out. I take a deep breath of fresh air as it hits me, in hopes that it'll help calm my nerves. It makes little difference.

I can't believe her! I can't think of any logical reason why she would want to tell me about her and Nakai. It makes no sense. What does she want from me? I already have enough to deal with after Toshiro came, I don't need know any more unnecessary drama.

This is why I avoided people before. They start to wrap you up in the mess they make and when they fall, they drag you down as well. I should have never come to the Shanghai. I should have just stood him up and then I wouldn't have had to see her. I don't need this right now.

My headache still lingers and it's making walking a harder task then it should be. Going back to my dorm in this state isn't a good idea. I need to rest, at least until I can walk normally.

A nearby park seems like the best place to rest. It seems pretty quiet. Trees and shrubbery line the edges of the park. In the middle are a number of trees where one can take a seat under and rest. There's even a fairly large pond in the center of the area with benches along its border.

I take a seat on one of the benches beneath a group of trees that look towards the pond. Children can be seen running around, men are fishing in the pond and a family celebrates the birthday of a relative. They're having fun and sharing happiness with each other while I sit here and sulk.

I just don't understand anything. Why did Toshiro come? He didn't need to visit, I don't even want him here. What does he have to gain from coming here? Did my parents force him? Did they make him do it so they don't have to?

What about Kagami? What's she doing at the Shanghai in the first place? Why did she come to me? We don't even know each other that well. Why did she seem so interested in my family?

Family. MY family.

Do I hate my family?

I do have a reason to hate them, but I can't bring myself to admit it. It doesn't feel right to say it. What they did is unforgiveable. No one should ever be that heartless to their own family and yet, I still can't hate them, at least not completely.

My phone suddenly starts ringing. I take a look at the caller id; I don't recognize this number.

"Hello." I answer.

"Is this Yaso?" asks a female voice. The static makes it hard to tell who it is.

"Y-yes, but who's calling?"

"It's Kamiko. I want to know where you are right now." Her voice is somewhat forceful.

"I'm in the park. Why do you want to know?"

"Good, stay there. Don't you dare leave before I get there."

"Wait, why-" My phone beeps indicating the call has ended. "- do you want to know?"

Ok, that was strange. I don't remember giving her my number.

Only a few minutes of watching children play tag pass before I start hearing someone approach from behind me. As I turn to see who it is, my eyes go wide at the sight. I see Kamiko dressed in her school uniform, which is odd because we didn't have class today. What I'm more surprised at is that she's dragging Kagami towards me.

"Kamiko, what are you doing?" I ask.

She doesn't answer, preferring to stand in front of me, her hands on her hips, and her eyes locked on to mine.

"Why are you dragging around Kagami? What are you planning to-."

Suddenly a flash of white burns through my vision. I feel my head forcibly shifted to the right. I don't know what happened but the stinging sensation from my cheek explains everything. It happened so fast that I can only see the aftermath. I see Kagami covering her mouth with her hands, a shocked expression visible over them. I see Kamiko's right hand held out in front of her, in the position it took after its brief contact with my face.

It's almost as if everything in the world just stopped. No one is moving and not a word is spoken. I just don't believe it. She slapped me. No 'hello' nor any warning, just a quick slap and nothing else.

Kamiko is the first to break the endless silence. "You deserve that for what you've done, don't try to argue it." Her words are cold and serious, nothing like her usual manner of speech.

I remain silent. My mind is still trying to register what happened.

"Do you know why I did that?"

I slowly shake my head.

She rubs her right hand and sighs. "Two reasons. One, you just called her Kagami. You promised me that you wouldn't call people by their last names. You went back on your word."

"But that doesn't merit me getting slapped!" I start raising my voice but only barely manage to keep my temper under control.

"The other reason is worse!" She takes a step closer to me and pokes me in the chest. "You made her cry and you did nothing to help. You just left her there alone. I can't believe you would do such a thing. I'm disappointed in you."

True, I did do that. I know it was wrong but I didn't want to deal with the issues that Kagami would have brought to me. I already had to endure my brother, I didn't want something else thrown on me. I'm ashamed to admit that I did something like that but I had no choice.

I can't think of an appropriate response that wouldn't sound like a lame excuse. The only thing that I manage to do is break eye contact and stare at the ground beneath me.

"Apologize to her! If you don't, I'll never respect you again."

"Kamiko, please don't say things like that," Kagami quietly says.

Kamiko glares at me for what feels like hours until she turns around with a loud "Hmph!" She begins walking off as she says, "I thought more of you, Yaso. Don't talk to me until you she forgives you."

I slump back into the bench I was in before with my head hanging low.

Well, that's just great. I tried to avoid being involved in something I thought was wrong and now I'm losing all of the people I considered friends. Just once, I'd like my decisions to not come back and bite me in the ass.

This is why I preferred solitude. I could do whatever I wanted and I had no one to judge me for it.

I move my hand to my cheek. I touch it lightly and it stings. She must have put a lot of strength into that slap...

As I sit, examining my cheek. I hear someone come closer to me and sit down next to me on the bench. I look up and see Kagami's worried eyes.

"Does your cheek still hurt?" She nervously asks.

"A little bit."

She fidgets a little and grips her necklace again. "I'm sorry about what happened."

I'm surprised by her apology. "Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who yelled at you and made you cry. If anyone should apologize it's me."

She shakes her head. "If it wasn't for me, Kamiko wouldn't have hit you and she wouldn't be mad at you."

"She takes her job too seriously, she would have done that to anyone."

She shakes her head again, more violently this time. "You don't understand. She hit you specifically because of me."

"What do you mean?"

She lets out a deep breath and her hands fall to her side. I can now see what her necklace is. It's two golden rings.

"We grew up together. We're cousins but she's more like an older sister to me. I was meeting her for lunch at the Shanghai. When she found me crying, she became furious and swore to make the person responsible suffer."

"You're r-related?" My head falls into my hands. "That would explain why I never heard her talk like that before. God, I'm an idiot. She must hate me."

She giggles. "You're lucky. She actually went easy on you. I've seen her do much worse."

I cringe at the thought of it. Her slap hurt a lot, I hate to imagine what was worse.

"Don't worry. If I say that you're okay then she'll forgive you."

I sigh. I'm an idiot, aren't I. Kagami is a kind person and I snapped at her for no real reason. She was just trying to be more open to me and I shot her down. I'm a complete asshole.

"Listen," I lift my head and look into her eyes. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It was just that I was talking to my brother before we met and I was just mad from that. I had no reason to yell at you."

A small smile forms on her face. "It's okay. I'm at fault too. I was being too nosy and sort of pushed you to the edge."

That reminds me. "Back at the Shanghai, before I got angry, you were trying to say something weren't you? What was it?"

Her hands quickly make their way to her necklace and her cheeks crimson. "Oh that. Well, you were telling me so much about your family, I wanted to be fair and tell you about mine."

"But you mentioned Mr. Nakai." I feel my stomach twisting in a knot at the fact that I just asked about her relationship with him.

Her grip tightens on her necklace. "Yeah, I did."

Wait. She wanted to talk about her family and in doing so she mentioned Nakai. Oh good God, I'm an idiot. It all makes sense now.

"I haven't told this to anyone but it's only fair I tell you this because you were so open to me. My real name isn't Midori Kagami. It's Midori Nakai."

My stomach feels terrible now. Not because of the reason from before but for something else. Guilt and shame for rushing to a conclusion about what she wanted to tell me. "So d-does that mean that Mr. Nakai is your dad?"

She nods her head. "Both of my parents are teachers at Yamaku. That's why I don't agree with what you said about how parents leave their children at this school to forget about them. I'm here because I love my parents and I couldn't bear being apart from them."

"Both of your parents?"

"Yes, Hisao Nakai is my father and Lilly Satou is my mother."

My eyes go wide. She's Miss Satou's daughter! The one and only time I talked to Satou, I mentioned the rumor about an affair going on between Nakai and their daughter! I let my head my head fall back into my hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just realized how wrong I was about a lot of things."

She looks down to the ground and sighs. "That stupid rumor that everyone passes around, I hate it."

"But your his daughter. Why don't you tell everyone that?"

"I can't. Yamaku Academy has rules against the children of faculty attending."

Rules against people attending? The only rule I remember that restricted admittance was the rule against people with mental disabilities. "What rule are you talking about?"

"Faculty members aren't allowed to have their children attend because of insurance reasons. There was an incident long ago when a student almost lost her life because a teacher was more focused on his son."

"But I've heard that Nakai has connections with the higher ups. Couldn't he have done something."

She shakes her head. "The best that he could do was to send me to another school like Yamaku."

"Then how are you here?"

"My parents got divorced in order to give me a reason to go by another name. They also used their connections to get some key faculty members to look the other way when certain information comes up about my history."

If that's true then the fact that she's related to two teachers should remain hidden from everyone. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because it's fair. You told me about your family, so I had tell you about mine."

"So by that logic, if anyone told you about their past, you'll tell them about this too?"

She tilts her head to the side as if she's in deep thought. "No, I wouldn't. You're the new guy at school and you met me before you knew anything about those rumors. You were very kind and open about what has happened to you, so I thought I could be the same way," She says with a bashful smile.

"You really are trouble," I sigh. "But I think I can deal with it."

We both share a laugh. It's unbelievable how wrong I was about this girl. All the things that everyone think they know about her are wrong. She's not a girl without morals who enjoys tabooed relationships, she's just another person who has deal with what life has thrown at her.

She looks up to the sky and sighs. "The sun is going to go down soon, so I should go back." She stands up and turns to me. "Are you going to head out too?"

I shake my head. "Not just yet. I'm just going to stay here a little longer."

"Okay then." She turns and begins walking away. "Oh, before I forget. Do you remember the room where we first met?"

I nod.

"If you'd like, you could join me for lunch there." She tilts her head in a way that makes her hair hide her face. I swear she's blushing.

"I'd like that, Midori." I can't help smiling as she walks off.

I lean back into the bench and watch as the sky turns from a light blue, to orange and eventually black. I take a deep breath and enjoy the crisp night air.

The more time that passes, the more stars become visible in the night sky. I've always loved the stars. No matter how much my life changes, no matter where I go, I can always look up at the sky and watch the stars. I admire them because even though they are so far away, so small to the naked eye, they continue to shine brightly. Even when no one is watching them, they shine because they can.

I was expecting this day to be terrible. While it did have its fair share of hardships during the beginning, it hit a high point towards the end. It almost makes me forget about what happened with my brother. It's funny, my day completely turned around because of one person.

Midori Nakai. What a strange and mysterious girl. Even though she told me about her family, I really don't know anything about her. I'll admit, I'm a little curious about who she really is. As far as I can tell, she's a kind and beautiful girl who enjoys her tea.


I laugh at the fact that I know next to nothing about her. I guess that will come in time. I just need to have patience. A feel a smile slowly start to form when the realization hits me. It's been a long time since I've had something work towards, it's been a long time since I've gone on one of my adventures.

I stare at the stars with a wide smile on my face. You're not the only ones that can shine brightly tonight.

When I finally reach the gates Yamaku, I'm surprise to find someone standing there. It's Kamiko and now that she's seen me, she's walking towards. I feel my body tense as it remembers the last time I saw her.

She stands in front of me with her hands on her hips and her eyes locked on to mine. I hold my breath because this is just like before.

"Wahahaha~! See what did I tell you! You're perfect for the Student Council!" Her laugh catches me by surprise.


"You made a girl cry and you went back to make amends. It really happened this time and you followed through. You're perfect for the council."

This girl never ceases to amaze me. My hand makes its way to my forehead. "You've got to be kidding me! It's too late to be doing this! How can you be mad at me one second and then the next you try to make me join?"

"You made up with Midori, so you're okay with me." She gives a thumbs up and a wide, toothy grin. "Now we can resume our usual thing. So are you going to join or not?"

"For the hundredth time, no!"

She puffs her cheeks and pouts. "Fine then, if you don't join then I won't show you something interesting."

I walk past her and wave behind my back. "Not interested, good night."

She runs up to me and grabs my arm. "No, wait! Don't go, come with me to the girls dorm."

Did I hear that right? Did she just run up to me and ask me to come with her to her room?

The blood starts rushing to my cheeks. "Out of all p-people, I didn't expect you would ask such a t-thing."

I've never seen a face turn red so fast. She lets go of me and jumps back. "No, I didn't mean it like that. Just shut up and come with me."

She leads me to the girls dorm and stops just outside the main entrance. She brings up one finger and holds it against her lips. "Don't make any loud noises and you should be fine."

"Fine for what?"

She doesn't answer me and walks through the door. We tiptoe down the hall without making a sound. I follow Kamiko until she stops next to a door. She points to her ear and then at the door. She moves aside to allow me to peak into to the room.

The first thing I notice is the sound of music being played in the lounge area. The sound is clear and deep, there's no stereo system that I know of that has that kind of quality. As I look deeper into the room I see someone sitting in front of a piano, swaying side to side as she hits every note of the song she's playing. It's Midori. She's playing and it seems like she's entranced by her song.

A tap on my shoulder turns my attention back to Kamiko. "Ever since we were little girls, she would always play the piano like this. This is her dream."

"Her dream? Does she want to be a concert pianist?"

She quietly laughs. "Don't be ridiculous. Midori isn't very outgoing, she'd rather die than play in front of hundreds of people. Take a look in front of her, what do you see."

I peak through the door again and try to see in front of her. I don't see anything.

"I don't get it. What am I suppose to see?"

Kamiko looks into the room and smiles. "She doesn't use sheet music. She knows that song by heart. It's Debussy's First Arabesque."

"That's incredible."

She turns back to me. "When you were younger, did you used to draw?"

"Yeah I did."

"Let me guess, you would show your parents your work of art, right?"

I nod.

"Think about that and apply it to her."

What is she getting at? I imagine a younger Midori drawing something and showing it to her parents. It seems perfectly normal until I remember who her mother is. Lilly Satou, the blind English teacher.

"She learned how to play because of her mother?"

Kamiko nods. "She wants to learn as many songs as she can before she loses her eyesight so that she can share them with her mother. She comes here in the middle of the night to practice in private."

I start moving away from the door. "If that's why she plays at night then we shouldn't be watching her."

Kamiko looks back into the lounge with a soft smile. "She's smiling, you know. She's smiling because this is the first time in years that she's played this early. She's knows that someone will see her and she doesn't care."

I look through the door again. I see Midori swaying in time with the song she's playing. She moves with a reckless abandon, smiling as every note she plays mixes together create the melody.

Kamiko starts to walk off. "Just so you know curfew's about to start soon so you'll get in trouble if you're caught here."

I pay her no heed and continue watching Midori.

She sighs contently. "Good night Yaso. Don't get in trouble." She heads down the hall and disappears when she turns the corner.

I can't take my eyes off Midori as she plays. She moves gracefully from one key to the other. Each note she plays is filled with such raw emotion, that the mixture on the sound becomes the only thing I can focus on. I can tell she's passionate about the song she's playing. The more I watch her, the more I feel like I can learn something about her.

Switching from high notes to low notes, slowing the down the rhythm and picking it up again, I watch every moment she makes as she plays her song. It's simply amazing and makes me want to get closer to her, but I don't. I stay where I am, just outside of the lounge door, for fear that I might interrupt her when she's being so honest with her emotions.

For the rest of the night, I can't get the music she played out of my head. I don't think I want to, it was beautiful and something I don't want to soon forget.


End of Act 1

*Next Chapter*

*Sighs* I enjoyed writing this. I can't wait to get started on Act 2.

Complete Author's Notes for Act 0 and Act 1 coming soon.

Also, from this point onward, my updates are going to be slower since my summer is coming to an end. I'm a student first, everything else comes later. That's not to say that I won't be writing, just don't expect me to release chapters weekly for a long while.
Last edited by atw_ah on Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:55 am, edited 4 times in total.
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Aug 20, 2012 4:29 pm

No, I didn't it like that.
"If she that's why she plays at night...
Add one word to the first quote and strike one from the second.

This is several classes better than your first version.
All the additional effort did pay off. Please take all the time you need for future chapters.
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by YourFavAnon » Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:01 pm

Everything definitely felt more reasonable in the re-write, well done. I like that you did keep some lines though, but changed the situations with a couple of the scenes.

Also,I prefer Claire de Lune to First Arabesque, but opinions.
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by griffon8 » Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:08 pm

Much improved. Nothing was lost by letting him sleep in. :lol:
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by Helbereth » Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:40 pm

I never asked for mime.
Nobody ever asks for a mime.

About half the time, I have no idea who's talking during your dialogue... reading it over several times helps, but a little bit of indication as to who the hell is talking would be adviseable.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by misterprinny » Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:42 pm

Since it's been a while since I checked back on this story (and I have a terrible memory to help), I was basically starting fresh with little to no remembrance of your first version for this chapter. But I do remember that I like this version a lot more. Great work, take your time, I await your next update!
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by JTemby » Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:30 am

Well done Atw_ah, this chapter felt significantly better.
My quarrel with the original was within your story structure, which I feel is the one thing you forgot to change.

I will concede in saying that this chapter definitely doesn't feel rushed this time around, but at the same time, you've once again set up too many plot points, and in one case, you both established and resolved a conflict in the same chapter. That conflict being the Midori's identity.
What I would of done in your place, is let her cry in the Shanghi for the day, and end the chapter with Yaso going to his room regretting his actions, allowing for character development. Then in the next chapter, he apologises to her in lunch room.

I don't tell you this because I want you to go ahead and rewrite the whole damned thing again, I just want you to be aware of my sole issue, in hopes that you'll improve on it.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by Ascended Flutist » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:23 pm

Alright, two things.

First, I stumbled across many mistakes, small stuff, no biggies, but it forces me to go back and reread passages, not good. On the same note, there are also some passages where the sentence structure is a bit awkward/heavy. I always see what you meant, but I sometimes feel it could be written in simpler ways. Doesn't help either.

Second. ^This^, right above there. Yeah, this. This is my sole gripe with that new chapter of yours. There's a lot of new good ideas, many of the old good passages are outright better, the more awkward ones have been replaced with these fresh good ideas... it's...just... good.
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by Helbereth » Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:26 pm

Ascended Flutist wrote: I am a grammar nazi in two languages. Fear me.
Spread the love, then!

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete 8/20/12) (For real this ti

Post by atw_ah » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:24 am

Ah, this is what I enjoy about writing things one chapter at a time. I get to see what you guys think and how I can improve. So let's see....
YourFavAnon wrote:Also,I prefer Claire de Lune to First Arabesque, but opinions.
Hm... It appears we have some similar thought processes. When I originally planned for the musical scene, I had first chosen Clair De Lune. I changed it because I preferred the image the First Arabesque gave instead.

Note: The following is my personal opinion. It should not be considered fact, just my interpretation.

Both songs are beautiful and have a similar theme. They both are songs that reflect the beauty that is hidden in life but I feel like they are referring to different times.
To me, the First Arabesque talks about how life is beautiful because of how it can start again once all of the turmoil has be passed. It is hopeful about the future and it slowly finds a way to make everything work.
Clair De Lune, on the other hand, is about the beauty in life that someone has already experienced. It feels like a reflection of the past from someone who is nearing the end. That person is content with everything and has no regrets about what has transpired.
I wanted the scene to be hopeful about what's to come, so I went with the First Arabesque instead of Clair De Lune.
Helbereth wrote:Nobody ever asks for a mime.
Well, Yaso's parents are strange individuals who thought that teaching their son how to mime would be a good way to improve his dexterity after his stroke. Plus, it added a new method of communication when he couldn't talk at the hospital. :D
Helbereth wrote:About half the time, I have no idea who's talking during your dialogue... reading it over several times helps, but a little bit of indication as to who the hell is talking would be adviseable.
I have that habit of ditching the indicators whenever it's just two people talking. Though, I can see where my habit kind of got out of hand. Thanks for telling me, I'll fix that and try to prevent it from happening again.
JTemby wrote:My quarrel with the original was within your story structure, which I feel is the one thing you forgot to change.

I will concede in saying that this chapter definitely doesn't feel rushed this time around, but at the same time, you've once again set up too many plot points, and in one case, you both established and resolved a conflict in the same chapter. That conflict being the Midori's identity.
What I would of done in your place, is let her cry in the Shanghi for the day, and end the chapter with Yaso going to his room regretting his actions, allowing for character development. Then in the next chapter, he apologises to her in lunch room.

I don't tell you this because I want you to go ahead and rewrite the whole damned thing again, I just want you to be aware of my sole issue, in hopes that you'll improve on it.
Okay, I can't really think of anything clever to say to defend myself, so I'm just going to bite the bullet on this one. I see and understand what you're saying. I tried to put too much into this chapter and because of that, some of the things didn't come out as I had intended. I'll work on keeping the next batch of chapters more focused and less trying-to-do-everything-at-oncey.
Don't worry, I'm not going to rewrite this chapter again.
Ascended Flutist wrote:On the same note, there are also some passages where the sentence structure is a bit awkward/heavy. I always see what you meant, but I sometimes feel it could be written in simpler ways.
Simplification, noted and will be implemented as soon as possible. (I mean that literally because I had to rewrite this response multiple times because I wasn't being direct enough.)
Ascended Flutist wrote:Second. ^This^, right above there. Yeah, this. This is my sole gripe with that new chapter of yours. There's a lot of new good ideas, many of the old good passages are outright better, the more awkward ones have been replaced with these fresh good ideas... it's...just... good.
I see. I could just say there is a method to my madness, but that'll just be an escape from my part. I understand what you're saying (I can't articulate it, but I understand). I'll work on that, I already have some ideas to improve upon.
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete) Author's Notes 8/25

Post by atw_ah » Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:15 pm

Ok, now that I finally finished Act 1, I can take some time to reflect a bit on what has happened. I'm writing this because I need/want to. I need to reread all of my chapters to make sure that I didn't forget some important details and to proofread and rewrite some parts. I want to do this because I think it's pretty interesting to look back at how everything started. Maybe it'll answer some of the question about my story, maybe it'll raise more. Either way, let's get started shall we.

Act 0: The Lives we Lost

Chapter One: Adventure

When I wrote this, I didn't know who I wanted this person to be nor did I know where my story was going. I was just writing for the sake of writing. This was just spur of the moment on a Sunday night. Looking back at it, I could have taken this story in any direction I wanted.

Track and field was something I would always do back in High School so it was only fitting that I make Yaso do the same. "Write what you know" as they say.

Change log: School Track Team changed to a local track club. (Not very important but fixes some issues I had with my timeline.)

Chapter Two: Fragments

This was written in the same sitting as the first chapter, so I was still lost about where I wanted this story to go. For some time, I wanted this character to be in the same year as the original cast but I didn't feel experienced enough to write that.

Had I followed through with that thought, I probably would have paired Yaso up with Emi or Miki.

The memories that Yaso pulls out of his head that aren't about his stay in the hospital are just random things that mostly likely won't be mentioned again.

Change log: Random historical memory changed from realistic WWII fact to something that happened in the year 2021.

Act 1: The Paths we Follow

The titles for all my acts are going to have that same pattern. "The ______ we ______" I just like it that way...

Change log: removed Italics from each chapter. (It's kinda obvious that you're in Yaso's mind and anything that isn't a description of what's around him is his thoughts. Some will be reworded to make up for the lack of indication.)

Chapter One: First Impressions

Okay this chapter is where I finally start putting the story in place. By the time I wrote this I had already made an outline about where this story was going to go. I wanted to put it in the future because I thought it was an interesting perspective to have. It also gave me a good enough reason to avoid the already established characters until I was ready to try and write them. I was not yet comfortable about trying to jump into a character's head and talk like them.

I really had no idea how I was suppose to write Nurse's dialogue in this scene. I wanted to be faithful to the character but at the same time be something new. I wasn't fond of my first few drafts.

Yaso literally means eight-ten. In Japanese, the word for nine sounds like the word for suffering. By naming a child Yaso, it means that the child would skip his suffering. It's an ironic name much like how Hisao means long-lived man.

Atoza is a name of my own creation, created by taking the first letter of my first name and the last letter of my last name, "a to z." The extra A at the end is significant because it returns back to the start. To me, Atoza means "from the beginning to the end only to start again" or put simply "never give up." Apparently it can be Japanese too, but I'm not sure what it means exactly.

Change log: Added a little more insight as to why Yaso was nervous about not getting examined.

Chapter Two: Take Your Lessons to Heart

So this chapter is important for a few reasons. One, it shows just how far Bloodline is from the VN time-wise. Two, it shows how Yaso is in the same year as the children of the original cast. Three, I actually put more time into naming my chapters. Seriously, look back at the title of the first three chapters and you'll see that in the chapter itself, the title appears in there. It wasn't intentional, it just happened and I didn't like it.

Something that I found funny is that if you tweak Yaso's description of his appearance, you can describe Miki Miura. I played around with making Miki Yaso's mother, but I didn't follow through with it.

Though not named here, Amaya Mori makes her first appearance. It was completely unintentional to have her in the story. I created her as a random character in the class that wouldn't be important, but then I needed another female character and since she was mentioned here....

Mr. Koga is based off of a substitute teacher from my High School. He would yell at the class to be quiet and just worked on his Sudokus. He was a living legend for us because he was secretly very awesome.

When thinking of Kamiko's character, I couldn't help but make her a blend of Shizune and Misha, but just don't think that's all she is. Translated Kamiko can be either God child or superior child, a fitting name for a Hakamichi I believe.

You know what's interesting, whenever I think of the VN or other fan fics, I think of Hisao Nakai as Hisao. When I think of him in relation to my story, I think of him as Nakai. Strange.

Chapter Three: Draft Dodging

What kind of Class President would Kamiko be if she didn't actively try to recruit the new guy?

Honestly, I was tempted to make the Student Council be just two people (her and Ryo) but it wouldn't have worked well with what I have planned for Kamiko.

I'm still on the fence about actually naming and making important the other council members.

I'm not sure if I've made this obvious or not, but Kamiko likes to delegate her work to the other members, especially Ryo. Only on the weekends does she work with the council, every other day she finds other things to do (Chapter 10: Life Gamble is an example of what she does to avoid working on weekdays).

Yaso is a softy. You know, it's actually very surprising how much of myself I put in him. It's obvious that each of my OCs has a little bit of me in them, but Yaso has more than everyone else. Maybe that's normal when writing OCs, I don't really know.

The book Yaso is referring to is What Their World Tries To Hide by Masahiro Kimura (which just so happens to be the pen name of everyone's favorite bespectacled conspiracy theorist).


Chapter Four: Snake in the Grass

Kamiko is the shortest of my cast. Amaya is next, followed by Midori and Yaso who are close in height. Ryo is the tallest of them all (exact figures will be decided upon whenever I stop being a lazy ass and actually decide on it).

Whenever Ryo isn't near Kamiko, he calls her Class President. He also becomes jealous quite easily when something involves Kamiko and another guy.

Ryo is one of the few people who joined the Student Council without Kamiko's insistence.

I had originally intended for this chapter to end a little bit more hopeful but as I was writing, the scene felt more natural to me to end this way. I had originally imagined some exchange of light banter between the two. Though I do enjoy how it sets up for the next chapter.

Ryo has many different meanings, but I like to use the survive definition because of how he hides his true nature under the guise of being strict and to the point.

Hanamaru is just made by combining hana (flower) and maru (circle). No real meaning behind why I chose this name. I just liked the way it sounds.


Chapter Five: One Step at a Time

Ah, music. I loved the musical score from the original VN. In fact, whenever I write a chapter, I listen to certain songs to help keep the mood I want to write. It was because of this that included the musical cues when I first released it. I thought it was a good idea to help augment what I write, but I quickly realized that if I were to do that in the long run, I'll start relying on the music to set the mood and not my words.

If you guys want to read Bloodline with music, you'll have to do it yourself. Far be it for me to decide what the best song to use during each scene is. I don't want to force my ideas on other people. (Though the reveal of Kamiko's request in Chapter Ten SHOULD be linked to The Student Council song.)

So yeah, Yaso is kind of going through the same motions that Hisao went when he first arrived at Yamaku. I'm well aware of the similarities. It's all done on purpose in order to emphasize the differences in my story.

(If you are reading this then I assume you've already read all of Act 1) I had already decided that this was going to be a Post Lilly good end story ever since I started writing Act 1. I never intended to reveal who Hisao was married to until the very end. Why? I didn't want people to label or not give my story a chance if they thought that it was just a continuation of someone's ending. While Hisao's life with Lilly will be touched upon, it will NEVER be the main focus of the story. How Hisao relates to his daughter, however, will have some more importance.

Change Log: Removed musical cues. Extended Yaso's self body check.


Chapter Six: Group Speak

This chapter wasn't a part of my original outline. It was created to make the gap between "One Step at a Time" and "Lost or Found" less awkward.

At this point, I felt a little more comfortable writing Nurse's dialogue. I still feel like I'm not that good at it yet but it's slowly getting there.

Nurse is one of the few people outside Hisao's family that knows about Midori's secret. It seems appropriate considering how long they've known each other.

Amaya Mori makes her first named appearance here. She's the last OC that I created and I based her off of one of my friends. Now that I think about it though, if that friend were to somehow read this and figure out who I am, I would be a dead man.

Amaya lost her eye at an early age so she's not too bother about it now.

She took up archery to learn how to compensate for her missing eye.

Kamiko doesn't like talking about her family. She doesn't mind Midori, just her parents.

Also, Kamiko only does the "Wahahaha~!" laugh during certain times. I've been very careful to keep that constant.

Like I always like doing, I start setting stuff up for future chapters here. (Talking to Ryo, Hisao's popularity, the date with Amaya, etc.)

Amaya means "night rain," Mori means "forest." Somehow the image of "night rainforest" lead me to making her an archer. Fancy that....

Chapter Seven: Lost or Found

Since Midori is Lilly's daughter, I couldn't help making her introduction similar to hers.

Hisao was meant to have lunch with his daughter, but a certain note delivered in the last chapter changed his plans.

The special contacts that Midori mentions work by absorbing surrounding light to amplify and sharpen the image in front of her. However, due to them being contacts, they have to be changed every few weeks.

Kamiko and Midori have a sister-like relationship. They certainly get along better than Shizune and Lilly, ever did at that age.

The first footsteps they heard belonged to Ryo. The second footsteps were Hisao's.

In my original outline, this chapter was suppose to end with Yaso walking out of the room and running into Ryo. The chapter would have ended there and "Argee to Disagree" would have picked up at the same spot. I changed it because I don't like over-using cliffhangers and because I've spent too many chapters on the same day.

Midori means "green" while Kagami means "mirror". I had originally intended for her name to be Hitomi Izumi but I later found out that Hitomi already refers to a somewhat popular character in KS lore, so I changed it and I just happen to like the sound of Kagami more than that of Izumi.

Though not originally intend to be thought of this way, Midori's name is significant because of the color of her eyes. Brown (the earth) and blue (the sky) brought together because of the green (everything in between). The brown and blue could also refer to Hisao and Lilly, but instead of being united, they were separated because of Midori.


Chapter Eight: Agree to Disagree

The first part of the dream sequence is a repressed memory from Yaso's hospital visit. The voices he hears belong to the doctor's from his hospital. When he's able to move and feel different objects, Yaso is in his "semi-conscious state of mind" and walking about in reality.

It should be mentioned that Yaso has the habit of not locking his door at night.

Ryo just happened to be walking out of his room when he heard banging from Yaso's door. Ryo opened the door and out came a charging Yaso, who then proceeds to fall to the ground and loss consciousness. Ryo called the nursing staff and helped bring Yaso to Nurse's office.

The procedure for dealing with Yaso in that state are as follows:
1. Approach with caution
2. Slowly come into contact
3. With no less than two people, subdue and hold him on a bed
4. Properly secure the arms and legs to prevent any harm to himself or others
5. If needed, inject sedatives to calm him
6. Once awake, make sure with absolute certainty that he is in a well state of mind before removing restraints

Nurse has been punched in the face by a student in the morning before. It did not end well for both parties involved.

There's an important story about how Ryo fell for Kamiko. I won't go into detail about it here, it'll come up later. The short version is his feelings for her developed shortly after he joined the Student Council in his second year.

Oh, that reminds me. Midori, Kamiko, and Amaya all started at Yamako when they started high school. Ryo started during his second year and you already know when Yaso started.

Like I said before, this chapter wasn't supposed to be this way. Originally, this followed immediately after "Lost or Found". It was supposed to be a quick chapter in which Ryo tries to drag Yaso to the Student Council Room. Yaso would have only been able to escape when Ryo reacts strongly to the mention of Kamiko. It wasn't never fully fleshed out so I scratched that thought.

The thought about girls mentioning their boyfriends shortly after meeting a boy is based on a conversation I had with a girl I had just met. We were talking normally, laughing at my jokes and finding similar interests, when she suddenly started talking about her boyfriend. I find it annoying when girls talk about their boyfriends, so I started to just wave off those comments. She continued, however, and only stopped when I asked something about her boyfriend. After that, we went back to talking normally.
I never had the chance to even think about whether or not that girl would have been worth going after...

Change log: Altered Ryo's reaction to something less melodramatic.


Chapter Nine: Watch Your Step

So, truthfully, this chapter was a bit of an experiment for me. All the other chapters revolved around a single idea and when that thought was done, so too was the chapter. What I wanted to do with this chapter was to see how well I could write a regular day for Yaso. The results were less than stellar. Though certainly better than the first version of Chapter 12.

I kinda wanted to have Yuuko keep working at the library, but it was just too sad for that poor, poor soul.

Amaya isn't a slut, she's just... very open. (That doesn't sound right...)

Don't ask how I somehow got into the conversation with someone about gummy bear fetuses and gender swapped pregnancies.

Yes, she did play that prank on her mother. She almost had a heart attack from the shock. The following week Mrs. Mori visited Yamaku and taught Amaya some respect for her mother.

The book that Yaso is reading is an actual book I had read. I don't remember the title but it was very engaging and descriptive about certain "encounters".

Freud would say that dreams show us what we truly want. But what do I know, I'm only a college student who hasn't actually spent any time studying Freud other than the Oedipus Complex that I briefly learned about in high school.

Again, another experiment with the "romantic" dream sequence. I can't gauge how well I can write romantic scenes by myself, I need someone else's unbiased opinion, but that'll come later.

Lilly reacts a little when Yaso tells her his name because he has made quite the impression with her husband and daughter.

Yaso makes an AWFUL first impression.

I wanted to write another scene with Lilly in Act 1, but I couldn't get it to fit very well.

Since Amaya wasn't written in the first outline, the scene in the library would have been a scene with Midori. But the dialogue didn't work out for me. I kept running into dead ends because I couldn't figure out how Yaso would deal with Midori after he heard about the rumors. When I created Amaya, the problem was quickly fixed because I could just plop Amaya in place of Midori and write something light.

Change Log: Added a few lines after the dream sequence to show what Yaso thinks of Midori


Chapter Ten: Life Gamble

I know I shouldn't play favorites, but I just loved write this chapter. It was so easy and the image in my head was so clear. I didn't have to change my outline much and everything came out in one clean and smooth sitting.

I just now realized that an English teacher saying "call it quits" is just wrong. I'm not changing it though, it's funny to me.

Practiced warning: Due to the heavy rain, it's advised that all students remain indoors. If the need to go outside arises, go out in a waterproof coat and umbrella. If you're clothing happens to get wet from being outside, go to your dorm and change into a dry set of clothes immediately. If you or any of your fellow students happen to get sick, the Nursing Staff has readily available medication, either go to the Nurse's office or give them a call. Please be safe and keep warm.

Ryo's class (3-1) let out a little earlier than 3-3. So Ryo spent several minutes waiting for either Yaso or Kamiko to step out. He received many strange looks.

Part of me still wants to say that Kamiko and Ryo rigged every game. Part of me wants to say that everything was fair the whole time. I don't know which to side with.

"...even something like make her go on a romantic date with you" is want Ryo mumbled.

The coin toss was originally suppose to be made by Kamiko. She would have said something along the lines of "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose." She would have then lost the coin and Yaso would claim victory, only to have her say that it didn't count. I didn't want to make Kamiko into a sole loser who tries every excuse in the book to explain her loss.

From Kamiko's big reveal to the end of the chapter, I was playing the Student Council song while writing. It felt glorious.

Naturally, Kamiko dominated all of the Risk games.


Chapter Eleven: Out and About

Remember how I said that Kamiko puts off her work until the weekends? Well, here you go.

Yaso isn't the most diligent of students. He falls asleep in class a lot. Cut him some slack though, it's been almost a year since he's been in a class.

Amaya is a touchy-feely kind of girl. She likes to communicate with people through her body language and words.

Le Gasp! The story is progressing based on something that was quickly mentioned earlier. That can't be true! Could it happen again?

This is my first attempt at having the characters dress in something other than their school uniform. I'm not good with fashion that's outside of my own style so I could only try to guess what would look good on some people. I like to think that Amaya looks cute in an oversized green sweater and a grey scarf.

I actually tried to walk around with my head turned to the right and my left eye closed. It did not end well for me.

Amaya likes to look at the person she's talking to. She hates not being able to see not being able to see someone's expressions when speaking.

The whole thing about putting something in the middle of the O is just about everything that I know about archery other than "pull string, shoot arrow".

No, Amaya is not a psychic spy. I like to think that we learn to do the things we do from a necessity, not a desire. She needed to learn how to get into someone's head. (More on that in later chapters.)

Something funny: After writing this chapter, I talked to a divorced man. Why is this funny? Well, when I asked about his family, he rubbed the base of his ring finger before talking.

The Yamaku sponsored tour of the town is a stab at myself. My original outline (the one without Amaya) had Yaso being showed around town by Kamiko and Ryo. I changed it because the dialogue was strained and the Student Council Duo already had the last chapter dedicated to them.

Honestly, I forgot how I wanted this chapter to end because I didn't write it down and I went on vacation during its production. I also had to rewrite a good portion of it before its release because Amaya's dialogue contradicted her actions.

She originally said something about how having one eye makes her focus more on the things that she knows are facts rather than waste time looking at things that might not be true. You can see how this causes a problem with her character, considering what she thinks about Nakai and Midori.

I said I don't like over-using cliff hangers. I will use them when the time is right.


Chapter Twelve: Family Bonds

For those of you who haven't read the first version,here it is.

As you most likely noticed, I cut out Yaso's morning. Why? It was unimportant. Plus, Yaso waking up late and losing a whole day makes him more irritable than usual.

So, Toshiro is based on my actual older brother and their relationship is based on ours, only a LOT worse. I like drawing from my personal experiences, it makes it easier for me to write.

As someone pointed out, Yaso does needlessly antagonize his brother. Why? Well, partly because I do this IRL but also because Yaso just doesn't respect him anymore. He tried to fix the burned bridges and his brother just burned them again.

So, uh, I just kind of looked at pictures of girls to try to find something that would seem appropriate for Midori to wear. I felt like some kind of creeper doing that...

So I changed Midori's lines at this point. Originally Midori brought up the rumors herself and lied about them being true. I changed that in the rewrite because I didn't like where her character was going. It didn't match the image I wanted. The lines she says now are closer to how I wanted her to act.

The "you are trouble" line comes from the edited version of "Watch Your Step". I realize that the reference was missed because I hadn't posted the edited version by the time I posted Chapter 12.

I lessened Kamiko's influence on Midori because I wanted it to seem like Midori wanted to tell Yaso her secret on impulse, rather than it being a whole planned out affair.

Rules are usually made in order to prevent a recurring problem. I slightly changed the reason why Midori couldn't attend Yamaku under her real name to reflect that idea.

In the first version, I include many hints about future chapters. In the final version, I removed the hints and replaced them with throwbacks to older chapters. (Yaso's adventures and Kamiko's test)

Midori's piano playing came to me from a dream I had a while back. My dream basically revolved around someone I knew playing the piano in order to reveal her real emotions because she couldn't do it any other way. I don't know what was being played but it was inspiring.

The whole thing about Midori playing for her mother came from my original idea (but wasn't included in the first version because I rushed that chapter) and from the fact that Hisao mentions something about Lilly seeming like she would be good at playing the piano.

In my original outline, I had a chapter called "A Parade at Night" that would have gone in between "Watch Your Step" and "Life Gamble". The chapter was basically a recap of Yaso's feeling towards Yamaku and the people he met. I took it out because it didn't add anything and it wasn't really that long. I mention this now because I realize now that I somewhat wrote it into this chapter without realizing it.

Change Log: The whole damn thing!!


Word Count thus far: 35,249

Act 2: The Bonds we Create

There you go. This is the title for the next act. It's going to focus more on Yaso developing his relationship with the various characters he's met. In addition to that, the School Festival is also around the corner, so people from all over are heading towards Yamaku Academy. You'll see more of the original KS cast and learn more about the histories of the Bloodline characters. It's going to be a fun ride and I can't wait to get started on...

Chapter One: This is What You Call Logic
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 1 Complete) Author's Notes 8/25

Post by griffon8 » Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:39 am

Just reread the whole thing to get all the changes straight in my head. The story hangs together pretty well; I'd say you've improved it.

Act 1, Chapter 1 is repeated. You left in the version with all the italics.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 2: Chapter One 9/15)

Post by atw_ah » Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:54 am

*Sigh* It actually makes me a little sad that the uni doesn't allow me much free time to write as I would like. The only chances I get to write are Wednesday and Friday nights, but only for a few hours. Oh well, what can I do about it now.
Anyway, it's about time that we get started on Act 2. So without further ado...


Act 2: The Bonds we Create

Chapter One: This is What You Call Logic

My heart is racing, my breathing is labored and every muscle in my body is burning. Part of me is screaming, asking "Why am I doing this, what do I have to gain?" While another part is yelling, "Don't give up, keep going."

My eyes are shut tight, there's no need to use them because the path ahead of me is already clear. Nearing the end of my torment, I hold my breath and force out every ounce of strength that my body is capable of releasing.

I can't hear anything besides the sound of my feet striking the ground and the whistle of the wind blowing past my ears. My arms feel like lead weights as I swing them back and forth in an attempt to propel myself forward.

Only when I feel that my torment is at its end, do I open my eyes. The light is bright and blinding as the world takes a hold of me. Slowly, the images in front of me begin piecing together the events that have just transpired.

Exhaustion takes a hold of my body when I realize the truth before me. My knees start to shake and buckle at my own weight. I fall to the ground, only barely managing to hold my arms out to avoid falling face first.

I roll on my back and look up towards the sky. My hand is over my heart, it's still beating rapidly. It's almost as if it wants to jump out of my chest. I take long, deep breaths in an attempt to appease it and keep it within my body.

As I lay on the ground, the sound of someone's footsteps slowly becomes louder and louder. The steps are heavy and quick, the sound of a grown man running in a panic towards someone who might be in danger.

"Yaso!" Nakai crouches down for a closer inspection, "Are you okay? What's wro-". His expression suddenly changes from a look of concern to one of confusion.

I get off of the ground. Nakai helps me stand up and brush away the dirt from the track that managed to stick to my shirt. While I lean on his shoulder, we walk to the bleachers and sit down. He hands me my water bottle and I take a long drink.

It's only because of the difficulty of smiling and drinking in unison that my ear-to-ear grin falters for a brief moment.

"Finally, I did it!" I shout, after consuming a large quantity of water. "I finally beat you in a race!"

Nakai is so startled by my outburst that he jumps out of his seat. "Yeah, congratulations! It's amazing how much you've improved in the short time you've been at this school," he says with a small grin.

I've been at Yamaku for a little over a month and only started regularly running with Nakai fairly recently. Since this is a school for the disabled and Nakai is teacher, we race at the end of each week to see how I compare to the first time we ran together during my first week. Of course Nakai would always beat me by a huge margin, but as the weeks went on, the gap between us steadily became smaller and smaller, until today when I finally passed him.

I lean back satisfied, with both hands behind my head, and I watch the clouds go by. "I used to go running a lot before I coming here, so it was just a matter of getting back into the swing of things."

I hold up my left hand a stare at it for a while. This is the lingering effect of my stroke, a hand that is half-way between a closed fist and an open palm. It's not noticeable from a distance but up close anyone can tell that there's something wrong with me. I'm still not comfortable with the fact that I can't rely on my left hand for a lot of things but I'm slowly learning to live with it.

I guess I should be happy that it's just my hand and nothing more.

It's still bittersweet though.

Nakai stands up from the bleacher and walks to the track. "Come on, we'd better start our cool down if we don't want to be late to class."

I slowly make my way back onto my feet and join him. As per our usual routine, I focus on making sure that my body is still moving the way it should be, while he checks that his heart won't explode. It's only after we've both made sure that we are okay that Nakai speaks up, "Yaso, do you remember that bet we made a while back?"

I nod slowly. How could I possibly forget? It was only my second day and I was breaking down from the collective shit storm I had to endure for an entire year. It was just one thing after another and I had enough. I hated my life, I wanted to leave and Nakai offered me a chance if I managed to beat him in a race. I took his bet, lost the race and stayed.

It's not one of the greatest memories to have.

"Tell me something," he says as the looks towards the main building. "Do you still feel like you want to leave Yamaku?"

Back then I answered without thinking and said that I didn't belong here. I used to think that I was nothing like the other students, that I deserved better than them. I wanted to go back to the life I had lost, I wanted to be normal and not branded as something broken. I was lost, confused and scared, but that was a month ago.

This is now.

"Of course not," I answer."This place isn't how imagined it to be. I can't explain it but it feels comforting. Almost like my stroke hadn't happen." I pause for a brief moment to reflect on everything that has happened to me at this school. I think about all the people I've met, the friends I've made, and the things I've learned. "It gives me hope."

Nakai laughs as he puts his hand on my head, which immediately makes me feel embarrassed for saying something like that. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear a student say that. This just proves that you're the right person for the job," he says with a ridiculously huge smile on his face.

"What do you mean 'job'?" I shoot him a confused a look but doesn't answer, preferring to keep his smile, which is slowly becoming creepier every second.

"Hello everyone, my name is Yaso Atoza and I am a student of class 3-3 and the appointed head of the Over Watch Committee for this year's festival."

This is the fourth time I've said this opening and I'm still not sure how I got here. One second Nakai was explaining the duties of the committee and then the next, I'm signing the paperwork to become the head. Damn him and his persuasive, scientific, logical reasoning skills.

"I'm here today in order to find volunteers to be part of the committee for the upcoming festival. In previous years, the Student Council has been in charge of everything involving the student-run festival. However the last few festivals have become so grand that the Student Council wasn't able to properly manage it. For that reason, the Over Watch Committee is formed each year with third year student volunteers to divide the work load between it and the Student Council."

This speech that Nakai had written for me neglects to mention a number of things, like how committee members are reserved members of the Student council that can be called in at any time to work and how this means you'll be missing a large portion of the festival in order to supervise the underclassmen's stalls.

This is the least desirable job in the whole school, something else that Nakai neglected to mention. I only found this out when I first gave this speech to class 3-1 and Ryo wouldn't stop laughing at me.

"So this is directed more towards the students who don't have prior commitments to clubs than everyone else. Would you be willing to dedicate you time to work with me and the rest of the committee in lieu of your class? Anyone interested is welcomed to join me up front."

This is the fourth time I've finished this speech and like every other time, no one wants to help. I don't even know why Nakai wanted me to work on this. He should have known that no one else would volunteer.

"Don't you all jump up at once," I mutter under my breath.

As I am about to start the last part of my speech I notice something move quickly.

From somewhere near the back of class 3-2, a sole hand is raised. Its owner stands up from her seat and stands next to me at the front of the class. There a few whispers here and there, but it doesn't seem to last very long.

I sigh and rub the back of my head. "Okay if that is everyone then we'll be on our way. Thank you for your time."

The volunteer and I walk out into the hallway. Once we're clear from the door, she turns to me with a huge smile. She's so excited that her steps are quick and light, so light that it seems like she's floating.

Despite the fact that I'm dreading the workload I'm about to receive, I can't help but smile at the scene she's making. It's very cute. "Midori, I can't begin to imagine why you're so happy about this. There's a lot of work coming our way, are you sure you want to join?"

Her smile falls slightly, "I know what's involved with being part of the committee and I don't mind. You're going to need all the help you can get and as your friend I can't let you do it alone."

It's a touching sentiment and normally I would jump at the chance at accepting her help, but from what I've seen from everyone else, I don't think it's fair to ask her to do this. "But what about enjoying the festival for yourself? It's your last year here and I don't want you to miss out on it."

She remains silent as she starts playing with her hair. She hums a familiar tune for quite a while until she finally speaks up again. "Well, it's your first year here and without my help, you definitely won't have a festival to enjoy. So that's that," she huffs as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

I know when I've lost a battle. I raise my hands up and shrug my shoulders. "Okay, okay, you won't hear another protest from me."

Her smile regains its previous size. "Good, you finally see things my way." She giggles as she takes a step towards me, stopping only a few inches from my ear. "Besides, I feel bad knowing that my dad probably tricked you into becoming the head, so I have to make up for it."

"You know about that?" I whisper back to her as my head starts to hang low in shame.

"He's always been in charge of finding a third year to be the head of the committee. He's well like by his students so it's no surprise that he can convince someone to do it."

So I'm not the first person that he's managed to trick. I think I should probably start listening to Ryo's rumors a little more because I think he warned me about Nakai not being as good as he appears.

"As unlikely as it seems, someone else did actually decide to volunteer. Come on, he's waiting for us around the corner." I lead Midori down the hall to find the last person to make up our trio.

When we round the corner, we see a boy sitting on a bench fiddling with his cell phone. He looks up at us as we approach. His attention doesn't last long, however, as he soon returns to whatever he was doing on his phone. While I am glad that he volunteered, I'm just not too sure about him. He doesn't seem like the hardworking type. His jet-black hair is long and straight and it almost completely covers his eyes. He isn't very tall either and his slouch makes him look even shorter.

"This the only other person that volunteered, Saburo Watanabe, a deaf student from class 3-4." Midori waves to him in attempt to get his attention. He only glances up for a second before looking away.

"I've been trying to talk to him after leaving his class but he either doesn't understand me or isn't very interested." To be honest, I don't really like him. I don't understand why he volunteered in the first place if all he's going to do is be extremely irresponsive.

As we both stare at Saburo's general direction, he looks up and starts signing something. It proves to be a wasted effort because I still have no idea what he's saying.

I turn to Midori as I scratch my head. "He's been like that the whole time. I have no idea what he's saying."

"He's asking why we're just standing around and looking at him."

I raise my eyebrows at this revelation. "You know sign?"

"Yes," she responds. "My aunt taught me."

I notice now that Midori has started to constantly move her hands with every word spoken by either one of us. I look back at Saburo and see that he hasn't gone back to his phone, his eyes are fixed on Midori's hands

"I'm signing everything that's we're saying. It's so that everyone can be part of the conversation." She answers before I have a chance to ask the question.

"Well, okay then. That makes things a lot easier now that he's actually paying attention to something other than his phone." I cough into my hand and prepare the next part of my role. "Now that we've gathered all of the volunteers for the committee we have to go meet with our advisor and find out how we'll proceed from there."

At this, Saburo makes large exaggerated gestures and Midori returns some of her own. The whole time that this is going on, Midori's face changes from confused to slightly annoyed and then to angry. At the end of the exchange, Saburo gets up and walks off.

"What did he say?"

She lets out a deep breath and brings her hands to her hips. "Mainly complaints about him not wanting to work too much in the committee and about just doing this to get out of class. There was also an insult directed towards you and he also tried flirting with me. I told him it was better that he just leave and not even get involved."

"What did he say about me?" I ask.

"You don't want to know," she quickly answers.

"What did he say about you?"

"You really don't want to know."

As I hang my head down in disappointment, I notice Midori's growing smile. She's practically beaming and visibly becoming more and more excited. "What's with that smile?" I ask. "Our workload now has to be split into two instead of three."

"I just thought things would be easier this way."


She nods. "This way we don't have to worry about saying something that we don't want other people to hear."

Ah, that makes sense. Even though she told me, the new student, about her secret, she still doesn't feel comfortable with talking openly about her relation to Mr. Nakai and Miss Satou. The only times that she mentions either of them are when we're in the Tea Room or when she quietly whispers in my ear about them. Even then, she looks over her shoulder to make sure that no one over hears.

With the whole episode with Saburo done and over with, we make our way to the specified room in which we are supposed to meet our advisor. In Nakai's instuctions, he never told me who the advisor would be. From what Midori said, it would seem that Nakai is in charge, which would mean-

Yep, I've been played like fiddle. Midori most likely asked her dad to work his magic to convince me to join and so that we three can spend time together without anyone getting suspicious. It's the perfect cover, no one would bother us because no one would want to be there. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Miss Satou was also there to help.

Am I a puppet? I feel like a puppet.

I look over to Midori who is walking next to me. I see the smile she wears get brighter with each step that she takes. She's looking forward to this.

I like that smile. As long as I'm able to do something that can make her smile like that, I don't think I mind being a puppet for a little while.

When we reach the room, I hold the door open for her. She smiles at my gesture and walks in before me. However, a pair of hands appear from within and a grab a hold of her. She gives a little "Eek!" as she's hastily forced inside.

I quickly make my way into the room to find out who and why someone just grabbed Midori. What I find, however, is quite a sight. I see a woman in a rose colored suit, with long brown hair that ends in small curly... drills, and bright golden eyes, hugging a squirming Midori. When the woman sees me, she lets go of Midori and straightens herself out.

"Miss Mikado, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from such causal contact." Her cheeks are blushed and she starts to back away. You know, if someone were to see this scene, Midori's reputation would be seriously damaged, more so than it was before.

"Ah~. Micchan." The woman quietly says with a dejected expression.

Midori turns to me, but her eyes are closed. She looks disappointed. The woman, on other hand, rebounds from her previous mood and extends a hand to me. "Hello there, I'm going to be your advisor for your committee, Shiina Mikado. You can call me Miss Mikado, I'm the sign teacher and also the advisor for the Student Council."

I shake her hand and she shakes it passionately. It's almost scary how into this she is. "Nice to meet you Miss Mikado, but I t-thought that Mr. Nakai would have been in charge." I notice that Midori flinches at my words.

"Well, Hic- Mr. Nakai was supposed to be in charge but there was a change in plans so I had to take his place." Midori furrows her brow at Mikado's words.

"Oh, well in that case, I guess that we're in your care. You seem to already be acquainted with Midori, so I'll introduce myself. My name is Yaso Atoza from class 3-3." At this, Midori opens her eyes. She looks like she's pleading for something. What's she doing?

Mikado tilts her head to the side. "Yaso Atoza?" She taps her chin several times as she appears lost in thought. "Wahahaha~! So you're THE Yaso Atoza, it's nice to finally meet you." She grabs my hand again and shakes it more passionately than before, all with her ever increasingly loud laughter.

That laughter. Where have I heard it before?

Before I have a chance to vocalize my quandary, Mikado lets go of my hand, quickly spins on her heel, lunges towards Midori and puts her arms around her.

"Aw Micchan~! This is the boy you trusted. He seems so nice and well mannered, aren't you lucky!" She's practically lifting Midori off her feet and swing her side to side.

Midori tries to wiggle her way out of the woman's arms. "Auntie please! This is embarrassing!" I can barely see Midori's face as it's buried in Mikado's chest but I'm pretty sure it turned beet red, something close to what my face is slowly turning into after hearing what Mikado thought of me.

I cough into my hand in an attempt draw Mikado's attention, but it proves futile. She continues to laugh and swing Midori here and there. I start to laugh at the spectacle before me, Mikado's laugh is just that contagious. If our time spent in the committee is going to be like this, I don't think I'll mind it too much.

I might actually be looking forward to this.


*Next Chapter*

Originally, when Midori was named Hitomi in my outline, Misha would have the habit of calling her Little Hicchan. I thought it was kinda cute, but it got thrown out when I changed her name.
Also, I had this chapter go on for a little bit further but it got kinda dry towards the end, so I cut it out. It would have just been Yaso reacting to the news and an exposition of the OWC's duties for the festival. No one wants to hear that flatly stated, so I'll explain it as the act progresses.
Last edited by atw_ah on Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 2: Chapter One 9/15)

Post by JTemby » Sat Sep 15, 2012 7:55 am

This is typically the part where I guise some harsh but fair criticism within some pop-culture references and smartass comments, but this time, there's very little to comment on...
I don't think this chapter did anything for me, simply because there wasn't much to it, which is ironic considering I gave completely opposite criticism to Act 1-12

It's sad to hear you're not getting much time to write.
Good luck with your studies and all that jazz.

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Re: KS: Bloodline (Act 2: Chapter One 9/15)

Post by atw_ah » Sun Sep 16, 2012 2:44 am

JTemby wrote:I don't think this chapter did anything for me, simply because there wasn't much to it, which is ironic considering I gave completely opposite criticism to Act 1-12
Considering that I spend most of my time each week studying, I'll respond in a method that doubles as me reviewing for midterms.
So in a volcanic eruption, when a volcano has been dormant for a long time, it's eruption occurs in two phases. The first phase is the vulcanian phase in which a moderately sized explosion occurs that "clears out the throat of the volcano." I consider this chapter to be a vulcanian one that helps get my creative juices flowing. It's to get things out of the way for the next phase, the plinian phase which is marked with a larger explosion that leaves quite impression in the surrounding area. My next chapters will follow that idea and have more substance in them.

Also, when listening to one of my professors lectures on genetics, I started to apply what was being told to my characters (mainly Midori). What I saw was that following genetic theory, Midori shouldn't have to worry too much about Inherited Blindness. Something like Lilly's blindness would be passed down, but Hisao's genes would have been dominant and counteracted them. Oddly enough, I gave Midori heterochromia which caused genes for eye color from both parents to appear regardless of one being dominant or recessive. So if the mutation occurred for eye color, there is a chance that another mutation could have occurred that expressed Lilly's blindness.
This really doesn't have to do with anything in the story or what has been asked, but I just found it extremely interesting how I made my character plausible in reality by accident.

And since I did this for Chapter One, I'll do it again for the next one.

Chapter Two: New Light
Yaso starts to realize his role within Yamaku.
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

Around The World, Always Honorable

My pastebin

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