'Sweet Voice'

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Silentcook
Carelessly Cooking You
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Location: Imola, Italy

'Sweet Voice'

Post by Silentcook » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:35 am

If you don't fail the first time, try harder... yes there's no 'nosex' tag in this one, the fappers can form an orderly mob, scroll right past the somnywurds and get to the end. Searching for 'mint' in the page sends you right there.
Storycodes: hi mi

SWEET VOICE

---

For the hundredth time, I check my watch. It still says the same thing as before. 19:30; I'm on time and Shizune is not here. Which in turn means, she's late.

...I'm going to see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse pass by anytime now.

Shizune is NEVER late. Given her personality and the sort-of competition between us, she'd rather die than... Uh-oh. I was thinking up ways to tease her when she got here, but now I'm suddenly concerned. Maybe she really is in some sort of trouble.
Then again, it's just a few minutes. There could be any number of perfectly harmless reasons for that.
After a little deliberation, I decide to give it a few minutes longer. I don't want to make a fuss over nothing, as Shizune would turn the tables on me for that, knowing I was worried. After an appropriate amount of time, I'll call and make sure she is OK.

I sigh. Sometimes I wish things were less... complicated between us. Even such a petty thing as being a little late for a date turns into some sort of Machiavellian mental judo match. I like Shizune a lot, and I think she likes me too, but her nature makes it a little hard to really relax when we're together.
It's a little bit my fault as well. I'd probably be more sure about her feelings if I knew more than basic sign language. We can communicate, but the nuances that come out when I speak with someone just aren't there yet.
And neither of us is going to go into that while Misha's around. Misha's a nice girl and all, but saying to Shizune 'I want to kiss you' with her translating would embarrass either me into cardiac arrest, or her into spontaneous combustion. Nevermind actually doing anything. As a result, so far we have shared a few furtive kisses and little more.

I sigh again. I probably look like everybody's mental image of the dumped boyfriend right now. Dressed up, ready to go on a date, and miserably alone at the street corner where we agreed to meet.
I check my watch again. Fifteen minutes... that's more than enough to justify a call. I'm really starting to get worried.

'Hisao-kuuuuuuuunnnnnn!!'

For a moment, I confusedly think that Shizune is calling me. But that's impossible. I scan the street in the general direction where the shout is coming from, but there's a bit of a crowd and I can't see well. Is that...

'HISAO-KUUUUUUUNNNNNN~!!'

...Yes, it is. Popping out of the croud at a run, flailing her arms energetically at me, is Misha in her school uniform.
Before I can react, she's stumbling the last few steps and stopping in front of me. She bends down, putting her hands on her knees, and tries to catch her breath.

'Haaah... haaah...'
'Misha... why are you here? What's wrong? Is Shizune...'

I am feeling a chill that has nothing to do with the weather. Gods, has something bad happened? Did Shizune get hurt, or attacked, or...

'Haaah... hah...'

Misha slowly stands up, and wearily looks straight in my eyes.

'YOU MORON!!'

...That was delivered with such force, volume and feeling that I fully expect to find cracks in the glass windows behind me. Misha has never been a soft speaker, but this makes me reel back a step. The newly-pissed look in her eyes might have something to do with it, too.

'Why on EARTH would you have your cellphone turned OFF while going on a DATE, you sorry excuse for a MAN?!'
'...Eh?'

What does she mean, turned off? I pull out my cellphone from my pocket and...
Oops.

I frantically shove the thing in front of her before she can say anything more. 'No! Look! It's not turned off! Dead batteries! It'snotmyfault! Pleasecalmdown! What happened to Shizune?'

Misha's still an alarming shade of red, but the mention of Shizune seems to slightly mollify her. '...Shizu-chan has been detained. She won't be coming.'

I release my breath explosively. Between her anger and my worry, I had tensed up more than I'd care to admit. But if Shizune's all right, then anything else can be dealt with. It might cost me a lot to make up for this, but...
Umm...
Now that I am no longer focused on Misha only, I notice that everybody in line of sight is looking at us. I suppose it's no surprise, our exchange was loud enough to be heard at least one block away. Quite a few people are chuckling or giggling.

I grab Misha's hand and give her a tug. 'Follow me.'
'Huh?' Her anger gives way to puzzlement.
'I said, follow me! We can sort things out later!'

I start walking, and Misha starts stumbling along. Soon she falls into step with me, and we are leaving the group of astonished, amused or disapproving faces. I don't really care where we're going, I just take a couple turns at random to make sure we're far enough from public embarrassment before stopping and facing Misha again.

'Alright. Listen, Misha, I'm sorry... I understand you had to come all this way to let me know. But that wasn't me being inconsiderate, it was just an accident. Please don't be angry at me?'
She's pouting. Heavens above, I nearly want her to scream at me again instead. I forge ahead, 'What happened to Shizune exactly, to 'detain' her?'

'Let go, and I'll tell you.'
'Eh? Oh.' I realize I've kept hold of her this whole time, and quickly release her hand. Misha dusts herself off before looking at me again seriously. She gives a dainty little cough behind her closed fist...

And promptly swishes through a long, complex series of signs I couldn't hope to decipher if my life depended on it.

Oh, this is bad. It looks like I'm going to pay the price sooner than I thought. Misha's sharklike grin, while certainly cheerful in its own way, does nothing to lift my spirits.

'Alright, alright. I'm beaten. Could you please translate that for me?'
'Hehehe~. I could, but it will cost you!'
How surprising. '...Fine, what is the price?'
'It doesn't matter, doesn't matter~! You can't afford not knowing anyway, can you, Hicchan?'
Urgh. She has me there. If I have to find out by myself later why Shizune couldn't make it, word will get back to her, and I'll end up looking like an uncaring, insensitive dolt.
I raise my hands in surrender. 'You are right. I'll pay. Now, what was that?'
'Hahahahaha! That was the message Shizu-chan entrusted me to relay to you.'
...
I must have made a really sour face, as Misha pauses for just a second before continuing, ''Hisao-kun, unfortunately pressing family matters force me to depart suddenly. Please do not worry as it is not anything too serious. I regret that we could not meet as planned, and I hope we will have another chance when I return in a few days.''

That's Shizune all right. Anybody else would have said, 'Something came up, don't worry, I'm sorry, see you next week!', but she would not have anything less than a perfect apology sent to me. I'm relieved, but not quite enough... now I have to deal with this smirking demon in front of me.

'Ready to pay, Hicchan?'
Maybe it'll hurt less if I charge straight in. 'Yes. What do you want in exchange?'
'Heehee~'
Misha skips next to me and grabs me by the arm.
'I really appreciate you not trying to get out of this, Hicchan! So lead on, you're treating me instead of Shizu-chan this time!'
'I *must* have heard wrong. Could you try again?'
'Oh, phooey- you know perfectly well what I mean. You two were going on a d-a-t-e, Shizu-chan as much as told me while she thought up that message. Ah, I think she meant me to send you her love as well, though of course she never went through with it. So~ instead of taking her out, you're taking me instead! You ought to thank me, Hicchan, now you won't have wasted any reservations you made! Hahahahaha!'

...Crap, she's right. And now that I think about it, she knew it all along, ever since she yelled at me. I'm a little happy that Shizune wanted to send me her love, but...
'Come on, Hicchan, move, move! We're going to risk being late as it is!'
...now I have to deal with Misha making a valiant effort at dislocating my shoulder by yanking instead. Ah well. Win some, lose some.

***

I'm surprised at how well the evening turned out, considering the shaky premise. Misha seemed to enjoy the program I had thought out for my date with Shizune, despite them being as different as night and day. She chattered away all the time, making a point of letting me know how she had to run to get to me in time even as she wolfed down considerable amounts of food at the small restaurant I had picked out. She liked to wander about, window shopping in the trade district, even as she 'asked' me to get her a piece of costume jewelry. She only demurred to go to the classic art exhibit I had in mind, preferring the Shanghai tea house instead. One quick, quiet phone call from her later...

...And here we are, sitting in a booth. It has all been strangely... nice. Misha's been really lively, much more so than Shizune has ever been. Though that's not a really fair comparison, maybe I should talk of spontaneity versus composure instead.
Anyway, Misha's sipping something that might as well be lava, judging by the heat I feel radiating from the teapot, while I'm nursing a small cup of... something herbal that was waiting for me. It's not bad, but not really my style either. I guess she made arrangements with that phone call earlier.

'Heehee. Hey, Hicchan?'
'Hmm?'

She's looking uncomfortably like the cat that ate the proverbial canary. I go into high alert: so far she hasn't been outrageous with her demands - she has even said she'll take care of the bill here since she changed my plans - but you never know.
She bends over the table, whispering conspiratorially.

'...How'd you like for me to give you some nice, special service?'

HuhbuhWHA?
One moment, one moment. This sounds so suspicious it can't possibly be what it sounds like. Misha must be trying to play some joke on me, surely. Therefore, I can agree without worrying too much.

'What EXACTLY do you have in mind, Misha?'

Aw, man... I've been around these two too long. My trust has been ruined. Hello, paranoia, make yourself comfortable.
Misha doesn't seem to take it badly though.

'Ah, I just want to pour for you, since you've been so nice. Like I said, service, service! Do you mind?'
'Oh... no, of course not. Go right ahead.'

See, paranoia? I told you you didn't need to get up. I am not crazy about the idea of getting more of this herbal stuff, but it would be terribly impolite to refuse.
One bottle materializes quietly, along with two fresh porcelain cups. Misha ceremoniously pours the liquid in the cup, and proffers it to me delicately. What do you know, she can behave demurely when she wants to. She then pours for herself as well. Without waiting for me, she downs most of it in a single swallow.
Well, bottoms up...

...

'AaaArgk!'

That was me, by the way. I didn't know I could make such interesting sounds. Then again, I didn't know I'd have downed this stuff, so I guess we're even. I'm sorry, paranoia, yes you told me so. I'm mightily trying to avoid coughing, but the tears in my eyes are a dead giveaway.

'Oh, Hicchan, if you're bad at holding your sake you should not try to show off. Hehehehe~'
'Sake-'

Bad move. Talking nearly triggers another fit of coughing. I take a few deep breaths, calm myself down, and turn to the female devil, glaring daggers.
She's beatifically sipping from a second cup she poured, and I notice mine is full again.

'Would you like more? This is special, you know, a special favor Yuuko does for us. We don't abuse it, and she trusts us to keep quiet about it since we're regulars.'
'Aside from the implications of us drinking sake, did you really want to trick me so much?'

Misha's eyes sparkle in a different way from the usual. She looks... regretful?

'Awww, no, Hicchan, I just thought you'd take a little joke. You're so easy, it's hard to resist. But I wasn't trying to be mean. Please forgive me? This is really good, and I'd like for you to enjoy it...'

I blink. Was that an apology? That alone makes this whole day even stranger. The wind goes right out of my sails, and all I can do is pick up my cup and roughly murmur...

'Kampai.'

The new smile on Misha's face could light up a small town.

***

We're walking to take the last bus to the academy. Well, that could be a little misleading. We're actually weaving a little bit, if truth needs be told. We both polished off a few cups of that good sake - Misha matched me drink for drink - and I guess it's affecting us a little. My head is buzzing pleasantly, and I feel... loose, as though I got some rubber instead of muscles inside my limbs.
Misha is hanging on to my arm for dear life and giggling near-constantly. The fresh night air feels good.

'Hey, Hicchan~?'
'Mmm?'
'Do you like Shizu-chan?'

The question should shock me, but it does not. It feels natural, the kind of intimate thing two friends can share. I think a few seconds before answering.

'Yes. Yes, I do like her.'
'I'm sorry you had to spend this time with me instead of her.'

Misha's voice has gone considerably quieter.

'Don't be silly, you don't need to be sorry about anything. It was fun, and I could stand to be a little more relaxed. I should thank you for that.'
'Really?'
'Really.'
'Hehehe~'

She squeezes herself even tighter against me. It seems like she's trying to get inside my clothes, and my arm is enveloped by softness. I don't think anything much about that.

'Do you want to know a s-e-c-r-e-t, Hicchan?'
'Mmm?'
'Come on, yes or no~. You told me one, so it's only fair that I tell you one in return.'
'Oh, okay, since you put it that way, yes.'
'...I don't have a voice.'
'Eh? Now you're being silly again, I can hear you just fine.'
'No, you can hear me now, but if Shizu-chan were around, you would hear her and not me.'

Misha's burrowing her face in my shoulder. This feels... wrong somehow.

'Well, you speak a lot on behalf of Shizune, that's true, but...'
'I speak ALL the time on behalf of Shizune while I'm with her. And I'm with her nearly all the time.'

I fall silent. Misha does not seem to need my input anymore, though.

'So I don't get to have a voice most of the time. Not with you. Because I can't talk freely with Shizune around. Because you like her. Do you know, Hicchan, how jarring is it to scold you for someone else - when I want to encourage you myself? To tease you for someone else - when I want to laugh with you instead? To-to...'

She trails off, and I hear a little sniff. This is... going all wrong. But I don't know what to do, and Misha has a deathgrip on my arm. She's holding on like it is her only lifeline.

'I like you too.' Even quieter. Who said it? Misha? Me? Does it even matter?

We walk in silence the rest of the way, and get in the bus when it arrives. We sit in the back, not looking at each other, an awkward atmosphere between us.

'Hicchan?'
'...Yes?'
'I'm sorry for being so selfish.'

As I turn to answer her, Misha gets closer, and takes me by surprise.
We're kissing.
I notice with a corner of my mind, she doesn't taste like sake. She feels fresh and hot at the same time, like strong mint tea. I put my arms around her, it's what you're supposed to do when a girl kisses you, and she melts against me, and we're both too worn out to do anything else, so we just stay there, and sort of keep going until we're out of breath. We separate just enough to get air, and Misha's staring at me like I'm the last drop of water she has and she's dying of thirst.

'I was not sorry for before. Before, I had done nothing wrong yet. I'm sorry for what happens after I said that.' I hear her say this, from a long distance. It's like she has kissed into me all the sake she has drunk, making me dazed and her perfectly sober.

She just rests against me with a sigh, and all too soon the bus stops. She's the first to rise, holding me by the hand and pulling me out of the doors.

'Ahhh~, this feels nice!' The night air is a tiny bit chilly by now, but I guess we are both somewhat overheated. The academy gates are right in front of us. Misha's skipping and twirling around happily, like she doesn't have a care in the world.

'Want to take a walk, Hicchan?' Misha stops her antics and mischievously smiles at me.
'What do you mean? There's nowhere to go, and the curfew...'
'It's fine, it's fine~! We have plenty of time left, and...'

As I check the time, I notice with a start that she's right. I didn't want to risk breaking curfew, so I had planned the date well enough to have a little leeway in case of trouble.

'...there's the woods nearby.'

She has that same look from the bus again. There's nothing in the woods. She knows it, and she knows I know it.

...I'm sorry for being so selfish.
...I don't have a voice.
...Do you know how jarring it is?

'Yeah. A walk in the woods sounds good.'

She takes me by both hands and laughing, pulls me into the dark.

We don't go in very far. We don't have all that much time, and we really don't want to risk getting lost. Just a few meters are enough for us to become shadows dappled by moonlight.

Misha has become strangely energetic. She's hanging on to my arm again, and in the patches of light I can see her looking up at me.

'Hey, Hicchan~...'
'What is it?'
'...If you don't bend down a little I'm not going to be able to kiss you~!'

How could I not oblige? In the shadow, I do exactly that, and get my just desserts.
It is a gentler kiss than the first one. We take our time to explore a bit, feeling our way around each other. All the while, we are vaguely moving in a pantomime of a slow dance, that ends as Misha backs up against a tree.
With a place to brace against, we can concentrate on ourselves, and we do.
I don't know how it happened, but at some point my left hand is holding something marvelously soft and firm that presses into my palm, and Misha mews and pants a little.

'H-hicchan... wait, let me...'

I do no such thing, I'm too far gone already to relinquish this treasure. But I misunderstood. Misha's hands disappear from me, and I hear some rustling and swishing sounds. Her left hand holds my wrist still for a few damnable seconds, and then it is released to let me feel skin where there was cloth before.
My first caress is enough to make Misha squeak and break our kiss, resting her head against my chest and holding on to my shoulders hard enough to hurt. I don't care, and neither does she. I don't know how long she denied herself this, but I can afford to take a little hurt back from her.
We are breathing heavily and our hands are roving around again; hers start wandering down past my belt. With a little trepidation, I decide to do the same. I think we're rushing too fast - but then again, several different senses of urgency press on us.

As I touch Misha's plump, silky thigh, I hear a sharp intake of breath. But she doesn't tell me to stop.
As I feel my way up towards her groin, I feel a touch on my manhood that makes me shiver. But neither of us tells the other to stop.
And as I reach her most precious point...

'AaaAhhhn...'

...I realize that Misha is way more decisive than me, and that we can't stop now. For the leading edge of my hand doesn't encounter any clothing under her skirt, but soft, warm wetness.

'When...'

I can barely recognize the croaking sound as my voice. Misha seems to have no such problem, though, and answers after a breathless giggle.

'Earlier... when I loosened the rest.'

By now, it's hard to even think. I mash myself against her, and get rewarded with a squeal. She hangs on to my neck, and seals our fate with a whispered prayer:

'I'm ready.'

It's incredible how three hands can make such a simple thing as unzipping myself a chore that seems to take the better part of an hour. Once I'm free, there's time for nothing except need. Right as we are, up against the tree, I fumble frantically until I can sink in the place where I need to be.

'Ow...'

Misha tenses a little, but I'm beyond noticing. I flex, and I feel, and I grab. At some point, she raises her leg to wrap it around the back of mine, but I don't know if either of us is doing anything but going on automatic. We can only emit moans and gasps. Minutes later, or maybe hours, all gets white.

'Haah... haaah... haah...'

It takes me a while to return to reality. And promptly, the first reaction I get is panic.

'Hicchan... will you take responsibility...?'

I find myself in dire need of an interpreter. I unaccountably seem to have lost my voice, considering the croaks that issue from my mouth. And I have my hands busy, so I can't even sign. Only the interpreter is the person that just asked me the question. AndogodswhatamIgoingtodohowcanIjustifymyself...
I'm uplifted from my personal pit by a tinkling giggle, coming from an angel, and a few simple words:

'Hehehe~... got you~!'

...On the other hand, it might be a demon, but wings are wings, so I can't really afford to be picky in this situation.

'Don't worry, it's fine, it's fine~! You'll have to be more careful in the future though! Now shoo, I have to take care of -hmm- business.'

I get a firm smooch. Not a kiss, that would imply some sort of dignity. What I get is an enthusiastic lip-mash, having as much relation to a kiss as a 3-carwreck has relation to parking.
We are disengaged already. My tackle just couldn't hold up against such a low blow. I just let Misha go, sort of shuffle backward and fumble things more or less back in order. I look again at her, and I get what could be an encouraging smile and a little wave from the spotty darkness.
Dazed, I turn around and do as I'm told.
It's just a few steps back out of the woods - it looks like we wandered a little bit towards the edge, about two thousand hours ago. I check the time, and I cannot believe my eyes. We were in there for no more than half an hour. We're not even seriously late for curfew yet.

Next thing I notice are the streaks of blood on my hands.

I thought I had had enough shocks for one day, but apparently I was wrong. Frantically checking and wiping myself off, I can't find any wounds on my hands. An even more frantic search tells me 'little Hisao' is just as bloodied, but just as unhurt. Which means...

Oh.

I'm spared from completely freaking out by a voice at my back.

'Okay, let's go back now!'

I don't know how she can manage it, but Misha is standing there, grinning - GRINNING, by all that's holy - and looking vaguely frazzled, but none the worse for wear. Her hair falls a little limp, but that's about the only indication of anything untoward.
I don't know what to do. I am afraid I could begin to cry.

'Whoa, Hicchan, you look like you've seen a ghost. It's only me, honest! Hahahaha!'

Numbly, I can only manage a nod. I offer Misha my arm, and she leans on me happily. Or is that gratefully?
We make our way to the gates, and just before them Misha lets go of me.

'Okay, we have to part here. It would be somewhat problematic if we got seen together this late. Bye Hicchan, see you tomorrow!'

And with a quick move of her hands, she vanishes within and is gone. On her face I couldn't see a trace of that look from before. I think that move was a sign though. It's one of the few I had made a special point of memorizing.
It was 'love'.

Tossing and turning in my own bed that night, I have dreams of her sweet voice keeping me awake.

-SC
Last edited by Silentcook on Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Shattering your dreams since '94.

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Anonymous22
sounds kinda gay
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Anonymous22 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:46 am

<Suriko> Misha and Hisao
<Suriko> This must be the first textual sex between the two
<Ito_Makoto> lol
<Rhudson765> Many have dreamed of this
<A22> ..And here we are, sitting in a booth. It has all been strangely... nice. Misha's been really lively, much more so than Shizune has ever been.
<A22> Damn he clearly finds her superior
<A22> wtf more underage drinking
<A22> wtf this characterization is unbelievably accurate
<A22> I mean aside from Misha liking Hisao
<TheHivemind> Dude's pretty damned good at what he does.
hurr durr

TheHivemind
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by TheHivemind » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:56 am

This is absolutely fantastic.

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Kagami
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Kagami » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:03 am

jumping saint jiggery jesus, what have you done?

The drills have been pierced.

I am in awe.

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Ren
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Ren » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:00 pm

Wish I could favourite threads...

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Peorth
Zenryoku Zenkai!
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Peorth » Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:51 am

THE DRILL'S HEAVENS HAVE BEEN PIERCED!


Good job!
Moar? :twisted:
Even if the author is silenced, the performance is stopped, the story will not end.

Whether it's a comedy or a tragedy, if there is cheering, the story will continue on.
Just like the many lives.
For the us who are still in it and still in the journey, send warm blessings.

---We will continue to walk down this path until eternity.

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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Cain » Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:01 am

jesus christ... you made the lesbian.. normal?!

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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Penguinmayhem » Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:30 am

Cain wrote:jesus christ... you made the lesbian.. normal?!
No such thing as lesbians in Japan.

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Peorth
Zenryoku Zenkai!
Posts: 244
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Peorth » Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:35 am

Penguinmayhem wrote:
Cain wrote:jesus christ... you made the lesbian.. normal?!
No such thing as lesbians in Japan.
Misha is trysexual. :twisted:
Even if the author is silenced, the performance is stopped, the story will not end.

Whether it's a comedy or a tragedy, if there is cheering, the story will continue on.
Just like the many lives.
For the us who are still in it and still in the journey, send warm blessings.

---We will continue to walk down this path until eternity.

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SnigendePind
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by SnigendePind » Thu May 14, 2009 6:10 am

Awesome. Just awesome.

*continues reading other stuff written by SC*
Some people don't have arms. So what? Some people don't see colors, either.
- WetCrate

<@Raide> why does it sad to be touched? shouldn't you get a boner?

90% of the students were actually sent to Yamaku for being too lesbian. All those disabilities going around are just curious coincidence.
- Minister of Gloom

Made you look.

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WetCrate
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by WetCrate » Thu May 14, 2009 6:09 pm

Yeah, wow, that was really good. It was mentioned before but you got the characterization spot on.

/me takes notes

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abscess
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by abscess » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:24 am

Nothing better than to necro a one year old thread, huh? So.... posting my thoughts:
In total I've read like 3 fics written by the devs, so far this is the one I've liked the best. How Misha acts here is somewhat different from what I remember on the demo, but it doesn't feel out of character. I specially liked that she also teased Hisao even though Shizune wasn't around, meaning that (at least in this story) she's not as dumb as people may think she is and also has a serious part not shown in the demo. I didn't like the use of allcaps in some parts, but that's just me and my allcaps hating self (when present in a story).

One of the things that seemed odd was that Misha said "Hisao-kun" instead of "Hicchan," but that may be because it'd weird calling Hisao "Hicchan" in front of other people outside of school... or something. The other one was she said "Shizu-chan" instead of "Shicchan".... or am I remembering things incorrectly here?

Either way, I'm glad she ain't a "dick-girl loving 50 year old man." Cheers.
Siiiiigh....

Silentcook
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Silentcook » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:05 pm

This was written before I became a developer (I was an Alpha tester then), and follows the version of the KS style manual that was in use at the time - honorifics were still in and nicknames were slightly different.
I could easily edit things to make them in line with the current version, but I severely dislike doing that. I prefer things I write to remain time-sensitive, and I loathe unpublishing.
Shattering your dreams since '94.

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Deimos
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Deimos » Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:29 pm

Ah, well sooner or later I would written a response to this piece of fiction and now thankfully abscess has taken the lead in resurrecting this thread from dead. Thank you!

Onto the story:
The fact that it was somehow different from the "newer" fanfics made it a nice change in terms of setting and characterisations.
I feel also obliged to applaud you for the way you avoided blatantly descriptive physical intimacy (read: sex) without turning it into a stereotypical heavenly and flowery experience for both participants or without making it not-awkward.
Other than that? Maybe I could say that I can not really laude anything particular apart from that because I can not rip this story into tiny little fragments - it just seems to good-looking and consistent as a whole to me and I have never been one to destroy pieces of "art".

One little question remains though: Was Hisao's condition in the alpha version not so severe as it is now? I felt that some events in the story must have had at least a moderate impact on his heart-rate.
Ahh, Morticia? I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

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Hydra
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Re: 'Sweet Voice'

Post by Hydra » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:57 pm

Hisao's ridin the red river?

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