Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

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lolawesome
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Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by lolawesome » Mon Apr 30, 2012 11:43 pm

Hanako enters her room juggling the handle of the door and a baking tray full of cupcakes. She manages it without incident, save for a slight misstep as she uses her hip to close the door.

After holding the tray with one hand and turning the lock with the other, she turns to the room.

"Who wants cupcakes?" Hanako beams.

The three guests are all silent, shooting nervous glances to each other. Hanako doesn't seem to feel the tension in the air, instead happily placing a cupcake in front of each one of them. Lilly was the first to break the silence by clearing her throat.

"Hanako, there's no easy way to say this ... this is an intervention."

Hanako stops dead in her tracks, "W-what do you mean, Lilly?"

Shizune starts to slice her hands through the air with speed and precision but Misha is pre-occupied.

"OH GOD, YOU GUYS, THESE CAKES ARE DELICIOUS~!"

After a glare from Shizune, Misha puts down her half eaten cupcake, and translates with frosting still visible on her lips.

"[We're all worried about you Hanachan. You haven't been to classes since ...]"

The bespectacled class representative and her pink, drill haired translator glances to Lilly, opting to let her handle the landmine.

Lilly picks up the cue, and continues, "Since your breakup with Hisao, Hanako."

Silence again. Aside from the chomping of another cupcake from Misha.

"THESE ARE GREAT, HANAKO~!" she attempted a whisper.

"I-I'm fine, you guys," Hanako fights the tears in her eyes, "D-don't worry about me." Her hands are balled up and red.

Shizune continues where Lilly left off, "[Hanachan, we know you're not sleeping. You're not eating. You're spending all night cooking in the dorm kitchen. You weigh almost nothing.]"

Hanako doesn't answer, instead dropping her face and letting her bangs hide her face.

Shizune takes a cupcake and bite into it and quickly throws it on the low table in the middle of the room. Lilly picks up the sound but is oblivious until she hears Misha.

"[Oh God! There's a finger! There's a finger in the cupcake! A human finger!]"

Finish translating, Misha dashed for the door.

"It's locked, waaa, it's locked!" Misha screamed. She looks back and sees a knife buried in Shizunes chest. Misha is scared white and cowers into the corner.

"What's going on?" Lilly says, confused by all the commotion.

"Oh, Lilly," Hanako says with a devilish smile, "you have to try my pie. I really put myself into it." She lifts her skirt and reveal a chunk of thigh clumsily bandaged, still fresh, bright red blood soaking it.

Misha could only manage a whimper at the sight.
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Oddball
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Oddball » Tue May 01, 2012 12:01 am

It just didn't work for me.

Hanako being murderous is hard enough to pull off as it is but cutting pieces of herself, baking them, and feeding them to others while still managing to be cheerful? It's just overboard. It's asking a bit much from the audience without giving them any real reasons why she's suddenly psychotic.
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BlackRockHanako
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by BlackRockHanako » Tue May 01, 2012 3:31 am

Would be a fun premise for yandere Hanako, 'now a part of me will always be inside you, Hisao!'. But as it is, this didn't do it for me. Maybe try and flesh it out a bit more? (Pun not intended)

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Roamin12
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Roamin12 » Wed May 02, 2012 4:06 pm

This was a little, meh, in my opinion. Hard to imagine that ever happening, especially with Hanako, and doing that over a break up? That's pretty out there, even with Hanako's psychological condition being the way it is, even if the break up was with Hisao, the only person who ever seemed to understand her, in the good end, anyway.
First Play through: Lilly>Hanako>Emi>Rin>Shizune
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Sgt_Frog
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Sgt_Frog » Sat May 05, 2012 12:26 am

Meh.

As soon as I saw "Who wants cupcakes?" I was like, "Okay, so is this going to be a 'kill people, butcher them, and bake them into various baked goods' type story?" And it turns out it was. Heh, I guess my bronyism is good for something...

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Hadokant
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Hadokant » Sat May 05, 2012 7:30 pm

This didn't make any sense to me. I could imagine her killing hisao or lilly but cutting herself into cupcakes?
I don't think so
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lolawesome
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by lolawesome » Sun May 06, 2012 1:57 pm

it's a silly little thing I wrote in a couple of minutes
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Oddball
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Oddball » Sun May 06, 2012 2:11 pm

lolawesome wrote:it's a silly little thing I wrote in a couple of minutes
They can't all be winners. Everybody writes a dud now and again.
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Doomish
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Doomish » Sun May 06, 2012 3:19 pm

Oddball wrote:
lolawesome wrote:it's a silly little thing I wrote in a couple of minutes
They can't all be winners. Everybody writes a dud now and again.
I dunno what you're talking about, I thought it was brilliant (if only in concept).

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lolawesome
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by lolawesome » Sun May 06, 2012 3:36 pm

BlackRockHanako wrote:Would be a fun premise for yandere Hanako, 'now a part of me will always be inside you, Hisao!'. But as it is, this didn't do it for me. Maybe try and flesh it out a bit more? (Pun not intended)

Believe it or not, the original idea I had was Shizune inviting Hisao over for dinner after their break up. It's an alternate timeline thing, where Hisao starts dating Misha. Shizune finds out about it, kills and cooks her for Hisao and throughout the dinner, she forces him to admit about the time how he cheated on her, about that night, et cetera et cetera. and keeps repeating the phrase "how did she taste" until it dawns on him what had happened as she gives an evil smile while he is shocked with a horrified realization
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Brogurt
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Brogurt » Sun May 06, 2012 3:36 pm

Doomish wrote: I dunno what you're talking about, I thought it was brilliant (if only in concept).
That's because it's impossible for you to dislike something that's gory and grimdark and makes no sense

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Doomish
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Doomish » Sun May 06, 2012 3:44 pm

Brogurt wrote:
Doomish wrote: I dunno what you're talking about, I thought it was brilliant (if only in concept).
That's because it's impossible for you to dislike something that's gory and grimdark and makes no sense
Non-sequiturs are always fun to read, no matter how off-the-wall they may be. And, again, if only in concept. It could have been done better, but then, it could have been done worse as well.

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Otakumon
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Otakumon » Sun May 06, 2012 4:24 pm

Would've made more sense if Hisao was the ingredient.

"There's a penis! There's a penis in the cupcake!"

Lilly-"Ara ara! Since you're not going to finish it then..."

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Roamin12
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by Roamin12 » Mon May 07, 2012 7:14 pm

Otakumon wrote:Would've made more sense if Hisao was the ingredient.

"There's a penis! There's a penis in the cupcake!"

Lilly-"Ara ara! Since you're not going to finish it then..."
Oh Lilly, you sexual fiend you.
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Re: Hanako Bakes a Cake (Short One-Shot)

Post by ThistlewickVII » Sun May 13, 2012 6:00 am

Freaked me right out.
Excellent concept, and the story itself isn't as bad as the other reviewers say.
Yeah, it would have been cooler if
a) She'd fed it to Hisao
or b) It WAS Hisao
How did she carry the plate without her fingers?
How did Misha eat some cakes without tasting the Bacon?
How did no-one notice?
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