Volume 1 - What Lies Beneath
Once again, I have to thank the wonderful DrawBro for this excellent Illustration.
Chapter 1: Morning Run
Chapter 2: Getting Your Head Together Part 1
Chapter 2: Getting Your Head Together Part 2
Chapter 3: Relapse
Chapter 4: Forget us not Part 1
Chapter 4: Forget us not Part 2
Chapter 5: Remembrance
Volume 2 - Skeletons In The Closet
Coming soon...
Chapter 1 - Morning Run
As I'm sleeping peacefully, I awake to the feeling of someone hovering over me. I open my eye just enough to see who it is. It comes as no surprise that it's Emi, more than likely come to wake me up for our morning run. She notices my eye and I quickly close it to avoid being awoken. Today is Sunday, and I would like to sleep in.
"I know you're awake." She says, leaning her face over mine.
"You promised, remember?" What she's referring to is the promise I made the week before. I had promised to run with her on weekends, in addition to my already established routine. Yesterday she was disappointed that I skipped out on it, so yesterday before we fell asleep, she told me to be prepared to run twice as long to make up for my previous days absence.
"Hisao. This is your last chance to wake up on your own accord." Emi sounds more serious than usual, which makes me feel uneasy. Just as I'm about to crawl out of bed my feeling plays out.
"Take this!" Emi rocks me back and forth on the bed with all of her strength. This causes the bedsheets, pillows, and myself, to come tumbling onto the floor in a wrinkled mess of a pile.
"That was uncalled for Emi!" I say, in a slightly muffled voice. My face is still in my pillow as she steps over me and sits down beside me. She kisses my cheek while bending down.
"I'm sorry Hisao. I just wanted to make sure you kept your promise. Besides, you told me to do whatever was necessary today to get you out of bed." This is true. I even specifically said that if she has to climb on top of me and drag me down stairs, that she has my permission. I didn't expect her to take it so literally.
After collecting myself off the ground, and taking a shower to help wake myself up, I make my way downstairs to the dining-room/kitchen. I sit down to eat my breakfast. It consists of "Emi Dietary Plan" approved foods. They're good for staying in shape. Which is good for me and my heart.
As I eat my breakfast I think back to how I got to this point in my life.
After graduating from Yamaku, Emi and I stayed with her mother Meiko for a few months. Having been accepted into the same university, we started commuting to school from her house. Mrs. Ibarazaki was kind enough to let me stay at her house with Emi until we found jobs to support ourselves.
My father and I made a deal. If I could pay for food and utilities, then he would pay the rent. I told him I wanted Emi to live with me in the apartment, because she was my girlfriend. Since we were going to the same university it would make sense for us both to live there.
I introduced Emi, and her mother Meiko to my parents. After getting to know one another, they discussed what would be expected of us if we were going to live together. Mrs. Ibarazaki, my mother, and father decided that we were old enough to be responsible for ourselves.
They explained to use that utilities expenses, and groceries were our responsibility. They would pay for the rent, so long as we kept our grades in check. I pay for most of the bills because Emi volunteers at a physical therapy center. It's at the university that we are attending. I don't mind paying for everything because seeing her happy makes me happy.
I'm lost in thought while eating. A thud on the table in-front of me brings my focus to Emi.
"What do we have here?" Emi says, pointing at a now smashed vending machine snack pastry.
"Oh that. I have no idea where that came from...." I'm lying. I bought that yesterday at work and she knows it.
"Is that so, then I guess that means this isn't yours either?" she dangles a empty can in front of my face. She gives me a look that says I better come clean. She's not angry, but she is disappointed that I lied.
"Okay I admit it, they are mine. It can't be that bad though right? It's orange soda, and that pastry is grape flavored." She smiles at that, but gets back to the point.
"Hisao, I know you like these things, but they're very bad for you. I know that I may sound hypocritical, because I eat cake on occasion. But eating things made out of preservatives, cheap dyes, and greasy oils is what really affects your health more then anything."
"You can't keep doing this Hisao. I promised your Mother and Father I would keep your nasty junk food habits at bay, and keep you exercising and eating healthy." Her tone isn't harsh or angry but the feeling behind it still easy to pick up on. She's worried about me. She cares about me and wants to make sure I take care of myself. Emi just wants me stay healthy so that I can live my life as long as possible, despite my heart condition.
"I know Emi, I'm sorry. I bought the pastry last night at work, and the soft drink too. I just saw it right there begging me to buy them."
"Do you think I would still be the fastest thing on no legs if every time cake passed into view I ate it up?" She's right. She eats sweets on occasion, but she doesn't do it on an impulse.
"Hisao I'm not saying you can't ever eat these kinds of things. I'm just trying to get you to realize that there is a time and place for them. And that the time is not whenever you are bored, and the place is not sitting behind a counter at work when no one is around." Her words make me a little upset, but she is right. Eating them just because I'm bored isn't helping me and my heart stay healthy.
"Alright Emi, I won't sneak junk food behind your back anymore. I'll keep to the diet and make sure to stay on the exercise plan, I promise." I've said it before but this time I say it with more confidence in my voice than I've had previously in our talks. She seems to notice this and brightens up.
"Good, I'd hate to be a widow before I got married. Now hurry and finish eating, we have to catch you up on the exercise you missed yesterday!"
"I can hardly wait!" I say this sarcastically causing her to flick my ear as she walks away to get changed into her running attire.
After washing the dishes, Emi and I start our run. We live close to the school and the first mile of our run is to the school's track field where they have the traditional oval track layout for use by students. The school also uses it for physical therapy patients. The track is where the real workout begins. I normally ran five or six laps after the one mile of jogging from the apartment, but today Emi made me endure for the entire length of her usual run to make up for yesterday. Which I knew was going to be hard on me.
I make it past the halfway point and normally I would be starting the cool down lap, but today I have to go even longer. Emi looks at me with a devilish smile.
"I suppose next time you won't skip out on our morning runs now will you?"
"No I won't. Besides, I get to spend my mornings with you so it's not all bad." Her face gets red as I say this.
After a few more laps, we finish our workout. As we finish I start to notice that the whole time we were running Emi was by my side. Did she stay with me? Or did I keep up with her? As I'm thinking about it, she speaks up.
"Good job, you managed to keep up with me!" She doesn't look like she is even breaking a sweat.
"Yeah I guess I did, didn't I?" On the other hand, I'm exhausted.
"Yeah you did, for a second there I thought you might even pass m.....Hisao?" I know she said something just now but I couldn't hear her. I am too focused on my chest, it hurts but not the normal pain I have after my run. This pain is different and it's one I have not yet felt. It's different from the time I tried to catch Emi on our first run and different even from my first heart attack in the snow. No, somehow this pain feels stronger. But at the same time, it wasn't crippling enough to keep me from talking like it had during my first heart attack. I'm already on the ground by the time I open my eyes. Emi is sitting by my side and I look around the field to see if anyone else might have noticed what had happened. Most of the track goers know me and they would immediately have gone for help. But as I think about it, I didn't see anyone else here today. Not only that, it was slightly foggy when we started as well. Now the fog is thicker, almost seeming to surrounding us. It's like the only two things existing right now are Emi and myself.
"Hisao." she speaks to me softly, all the while holding my hand with a smile.
"Emi...did you already call an Ambulance? It would be a shame to go out like this. I finally caught up with you." Her smile widens as I say this, but then it falters as she begins to speak.
"No, you don't need an ambulance. You did it, you caught up to me. That was the only thing you ever needed to do here." My heart sinks. What the hell is she talking about? Didn't she just get finished lecturing me this morning that I need to stay healthy to live the longest life possible.
"Emi, I don't understand what you're talking about, what do you mean?!" I'm starting to get frantic as I talk to her. She puts her hand on my head as she speaks up once more.
"I know you don't, but you will. It's time for you to go now, you're ready." She closes her eyes as she says this and everything starts to get fuzzy around her. Soon my vision starts to fade, and Emi slowly starts to disappear from view. All the the fog starts to close in on me, getting thicker as it approaches.
So this is it, this is how it ends. Dead in a track field at the age of nineteen. Emi the love of my life abandoning me. When the fog finally engulfs me, everything goes black.
Is this the end? Is this what happens when you die? Nothingness?
As I'm thinking would could be my last thoughts, a voice calls out to me.
".............ii"
Did I hear something?
"............aii"
I definitely heard someone's voice, as I try to make out what it was the voice is saying, my vision starts returning to me.
A blinding light starts to appear, accompanied by an unknown voice.
"...........kaii"
Have I died and passed into the great beyond?
Is this voice what guides me to the afterlife?
As the voice speaks again, I can hear more clearly what it says.
".........Nakai"
My name? The bright light starts to fade as I hear it the voice speak out again.
"Hisao Nakai?" This time I hear my name clearly as my vision starts returns to normalcy.
The first thing that comes into view is a light. However this light is neither mystical or divine. It's a
standard ceiling light, and it's on a standard white ceiling.
Realization hits me of where I currently am as the voice speaks out to me again.
"Hisao Nakai, Can you hear me?" I turn my head to the source of the voice. I find a man only a few years older than myself in a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck, and clipboard in hand. His outward appearance confirms my earlier suspicions of where I'm at, a hospital.
I nod. I'm still slightly disoriented from my whole experience and speaking seems rather difficult for some reason.
"Very good, you can hear me. Please allow me to introduce myself." He says with a warm smile. It's unlike what I was used to from my days in the hospital after my heart attack. It seems sincere, genuine.
"My name is Dr. Anderson. I have been watching over you while you were unconscious." His name is not Japanese, and upon closer inspection he looks to be American. It doesn't matter though. Right now all that matters is getting answers, so I to ask him the first thing that comes to mind.
"I-Is Emi here?" Is all I can manage to get out at first. He gives me a smile before answering back.
"I see you haven't forgotten how to speak. Very good." He says in a playful manor, I smile back waiting for an answer.
"We'll talk more later, for now I need to do standard checkups to make sure your brain hasn't gone to mush from being asleep for so long." I have probably been out for at least two or three days by now, if my first heart attack is anything to go by.
The doctor performs his ritual. Asking me to take a deep breath while he listens to my heart and lungs. He does however do something doctors never have previously after an attack. He pulls up my night gown to listen to my abdomen. After doing that he has me lie down while he feels around my stomach. Next he instructs me to follow his pen as he moves it from side to side, up and down. Finally the last thing he does is shine a flashlight in my eyes a few times to make sure they are functioning properly.
"Alright everything seems to be in order. No long term damage to anything important." Maybe that feeling I had earlier was true. My heart attack might have been stronger than previous ones. He is checking more than just my heart, and if it could affect my whole body then something must be wrong with it.
"Now, are there any questions you wanted to ask? I believe you were asking for an Emi?" That's right, Emi. She is probably worried about me. She must have called an ambulance, but didn't think they were going to make it in time, so her acting weird was to comfort me.
"Yes Sir. She would have been the young woman with me when I was admitted."
"Ah yes. I remember her, but I never caught her name. I assume from how often she visited you that she is your girlfriend, yes?" How often she visited? What does he mean by that?
"Yes she is, but I'm sorry. What exactly is it you mean by "How often she visited?" I'm confused and by the look on my face he can tell. He tries to alleviate my confusion and explains.
"She visited you every day when you were first admitted. She would sit by the bed and hold your hand. She didn't say much of anything, except for the occasional question as to when you might wake up." That sounds like her. I'm happy to know she came and saw me every day she could. He continues after I nod.
"She started coming every other day after about a week." Okay... It seems I may have been out of it longer then just a few days. That is not a problem. I'm awake now that's all that matters. A few weeks of study and exercise to get caught up on will be nothing to unreasonable to get through.
"After about two months from the time you were admitted she started only coming by once a week on Sunday to check up on you and to also talk to you." What? two months?
"Di-Did you say two months? I have been unconscious for two months?" What in the world happened to me? How was I unconscious from a heart attack for two months. It must be more serious this time, my heart might be starting to fail me.
"Mr. Nakai, Are you alright?"
"I'm sorry, this is a bit hard to take in. How was I unconscious for two months?"
"Well you suffered a serious attack and you are lucky to be alive and well. You appear to have suffered no permanent damage which in itself is very rare. I'm amazed that you're awake at all." My heart must be worse off then I thought. I was doing so good too. I finally managed to catch up to Emi, and now how am I going to tell her I probably won't be around much longer?
"How bad is my heart Doctor? Is it finally starting to fail? My attacks never left me unconscious for more then a few days." He gives me a puzzled look.
"Mr. Nakai...your heart is fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The problem was with your brain. And I'm sorry to say that your stay with us what not a mere two months, but quite a while longer."
When he says this my body seems to almost lose all of its strength.
"How long have I been in here and what do you mean my heart is fine?"
"I am not quite sure what you mean about your heart, but you have been unconscious and under our care for twenty one months." Did I hear correctly? Twenty one months? That is almost two years... just what the hell happened!
"How can that be though? It was just a heart attack, I don't see how this is possible doctor, please explain!" I am frantic, not yelling but still visibly upset.
"Mr. Nakai, please calm down. As I said before your heart is perfectly fine. When you were admitted it was do to a massive stroke which caused you to be comatose for the duration of your stay here. And frankly, we never expected you to wake up." A stroke? No... Just as I'm trying to wrap my head around the whole situation he gets a call.
"That was the lobby. I almost forgot today is Sunday, and your girlfriend is here to see you. She's on her way up, so straighten up your hair and get that nightgown tidy! You have to look good for her yes?" He says while smiling with an uplifting tone.
A multitude of things run through my mind. What do I say? What if she has moved on? I know Emi never opened up to anyone like she did me, but could she have found the will to do so? Then again there is the possibility that she was distraught this whole time. She still visits me right? She must have had hope that I would wake up and that everything would be alright. As I'm thinking of something to say the door opens and the doctor speaks.
"Ah yes and here she is now. You're a lucky man Nakai. Most women wouldn't stay with a man who sleeps as much as you do." He looks at me but I am not laughing. My face has a look of extreme confusion and rightfully so as well. The woman I see before me is different from the last time I saw her, but I know right away who it is and call out to her in a confused manner.
Iwanako?
